IN THE
LONG
RUN By CHARLIE UPSHALL
STOICISM & THE PUZZLE OF LIFE “It is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” Epictetus We ask ourselves questions such as “What is the best way to live?”, “What do I do about my anger?”, “What are my obligations to my fellow human beings?”, “Why am I afraid to die?”, “How can I deal with the difficult situations I face?”, “How should I handle success?” Some of us are stressed. Some are overworked. Perhaps you are struggling with new responsibilities. Maybe you are wrestling with an addiction. Perhaps you are moving away from a flawed relationship. Are you approaching your golden years, or are you enjoying the excesses of youth? Whatever it is, whatever you are facing, having a strategic framework and accessing the wisdom of those who have gone before can help. Late in life, I am now finding that the words of the Stoics are helping me. Unfortunately, for many people, Stoicism is either unknown or misunderstood. Most believe that Stoicism equates with “emotionlessness”. That is simply not true. Stoicism offers a set of practical tools meant for daily use. The aims of the Stoics’ writings were to help us live a better life. The single most important practice in Stoic philosophy is differentiating between what we can change and what we can’t. We have control over certain things in our lives, and we don’t have control over others. However, we can control how we react or respond to those parts we don’t control. The recovery community tries to practice the Serenity Prayer: “…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know
the difference.” If we can learn to focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, I think we will be more productive and happier. I am beginning to learn about Stoicism because I believe it is helping me to live a better life. It is helping me to be freer and less fearful. I am getting closer to achieving a state of peacefulness. It can be said that knowledge, especially self-knowledge, is liberating. The more you learn to say no to the things that don’t matter, the more you can say yes to the things that do. Then the more you will be able to truly enjoy your life. The Stoic philosophy can be summed up in three essentials: control your perceptions, direct your actions properly, and accept willingly what is outside your control. That will help you clarify what your life is meant to be. Try to keep in mind that it doesn’t really matter what other people say or think. Approval and disapproval are equally meaningless. What matters is what you know is right, and whether you do it. The last two years have not felt normal. You can’t turn on the television news or scroll through social media and not be struck by the combative tone. It doesn’t feel like what we considered normal. But, of course, it is. The ancient Stoics knew that “abnormal” is the most normal thing there is. Stoic Marcus Aurelius’ reign as emperor had floods, invasions and a plague. It is likely that, in a way, we will never be “post-Covid” because so many of the things that Covid brought into the public view were always there and always will be. Life has always required that we make certain trade-offs. Life has always placed some restrictions on people. Life has always included those who face the problems and those who flee from them. There have always been people who prioritize their own well-being and people who care about the common good. Life has always tended to be in the process of interfering with cherished ways. There is really no normal except change, disruption, loss and uncertainty. We have to accept that and get used to it. The Stoics believe in preparing yourself for it by training yourself for it. We can learn to endure it and
