Methodist Message: April 2024

Whither ministries for persons with disabilities in Singapore churches?

Vol 126 No 4 APRIL 2024

Ohana Ministry at Sengkang Methodist Church: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

DISABILITY ISSUE

Fearfully and wonderfully mad

MCI (P) 013/11/2023

e

Contents

Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications

/ Bishop’s Message /

Communications Manager Lynn Tan

Managing Editor Alvin Tay

Editor Lianne Ong

/ News / 3 Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities

and challenges to engage the younger generations 5 Three Methodist schools welcome new principals

Communications Executive Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai Elliot Soh

Proofreaders Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan

/ Feature / 8 Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

13 Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family 18 Methodist Social Principles: An overview

/ Opinion / 20 Soundings: Seeing the disabled in God's image

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936 6478-4793 | 6478-4763 methodist.org.sg/message www.methodist.org.sg communications@methodist. org.sg

/ Outreach / 23 Parenting a child with disabilities

/ Relationships / 25 You & Your Family: Letting go and moving on with time 27 At The Well

/ Worship / 31 When prayer for healing is not what is needed

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communications@methodist.org.sg Layout by Londonbob Design Printed by Adred Creation Print Pte Ltd

/ People / 33 I am the Potter's clay

Looking at foreigners with God's heart "And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD, to minister to him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it, and holds fast my covenant—these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples."

The Lord GOD, who gathers the outcasts of Israel, declares, "I will gather yet others to him besides those already gathered."

Isaiah 56:6-8

W

e humans tend to form cliques, and we click with those who are like us and

who like us. We avoid those who are different from ourselves—who talk differently, see differently, hear differently, move differently or even think differently—and especially those who believe differently. In our minds, perhaps they are like "foreigners".

But God sees each person as precious and wants his house to be a house of prayer "for all peoples" who "join themselves to the Lord".

Many people around us are made to feel like outcasts. They may be differently abled, or unable to be productive according to the norms in our culture. We need to see them with God's heart, for their worship is precious to God for its purity.

He does not measure them by their economic capability or intelligence. He loves them.

If we are uncomfortable with those different from ourselves, let us ask why this may be so.

And whether we know the answer or not, let us embrace them with love and invite them to the community that bears God's Name.

Will we do that, today?

April 2024 Methodist Message 1

2024 Call for Petitions for the BOD

T

he Methodist Church in Singapore – General Conference (commonly called The Methodist Church in Singapore or MCS) will be holding the 13th Session of its

plenary body, the General Conference (GC), on 2–6 September and 4–6 December 2024.

This regular session of the GC is held once every four years (a quadrennium), where delegates from the three Annual Conferences (CAC, ETAC and TRAC) come together to elect officers for the GC, revise church laws, approve work plans and budgets for church-wide programmes, as well as adopt resolutions on moral and social issues. The GC organises councils and agencies for the general work of MCS, and during the course of its regular session, elections are held for various officers of the GC and of these councils and agencies to serve in the coming quadrennium. This includes the election of a Bishop to oversee the affairs of MCS and the work of the GC. At its regular session, the GC also receives and debates petitions, which are proposals to make changes to The Book of Discipline (BOD), the rule book that describes how the Church is organised and administered, and contains the Constitution, Doctrinal Statements and General Rules. While such petitions are normally initiated by the Annual Conferences or the Discipline Revision Commission, any organisation, minister or lay member of MCS may submit a petition in the following manner: 1.

Three copies of the petition must be sent to the secretary of the GC.

2.

Each petition must address only one paragraph of the BOD or, if the BOD is not affected, one issue.

3.

Each petition must be signed by the person submitting it, accompanied by appropriate identification, such as address, local church, or Methodist board or agency relationship.

4.

Petitions must be received by the secretary of the GC no later than 60 days prior to the opening session of the regular session of the GC, i.e. before or on 4 July 2024.

Petitions must be mailed to arrive before or on 4 July 2024 to: The General Conference Secretary (Petitions) The Methodist Church in Singapore 70 Barker Road #06-04 Methodist Centre Singapore 309936

News

Delegates at the Asian Methodist Council 6th General Assembly held in Hong Kong

Lianne Ong is the Editor of Methodist Message. / Photos from AMC organisers and MCS delegates

Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities and challenges to engage the younger generations

T

he Sixth General Assembly of the Asian

Keynote speaker, Prof Jayeel Serrano

Methodist Council (AMC) took place from

Cornelio spoke on "The State of the Youth:

27 February to 1 March 2024, at the Chinese

Prospects and Challenges". In his keynote

Methodist Church in Hong Kong. The theme

address, Prof Cornelio shared his studies

this year was "Opportunities and Challenges

on Asian youths with the aim of setting a

for Our Next Generation". The AMC began in

framework for the plenary sessions of the

2002 with its inaugural meeting hosted by

General Assembly.

South Korea. This year, The Methodist Church in Nepal was admitted as the 15th member

During the first plenary session, Dr Yat-Hin

of the AMC General Assembly.

Leong spoke on "Boring and Outdated: Church in a Tech-Savvy World" and how

Bishop Dr Gordon Wong of The Methodist

to reach digital natives through church

Church in Singapore (MCS), who is also

ministries.

the outgoing Chairperson of the AMC, opened the Assembly with his sermon

Throughout the 4-day conference, the

"Created for Good". He emphasised the

Assembly affirmed the value and uniqueness

need to "synergise" or work with God in

of the next generation, encompassing

all things to bring about whatever good

their cultural and religious identities. It

we can. "We are God’s handiwork, created

encouraged churches to adopt a proactive

in Christ Jesus to do good works," said

and open attitude in actively listening and

Bishop Dr Wong.

understanding the next generation, and

April 2024 Methodist Message 3

Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities and challenges to engage the younger generations

journey with them through new approaches

always considered 'next', when will they

and mediums, in order that they could

ever be 'now'? They will be left behind

become the successors in the Church.

and go their own way. My generation was

Rev Kenneth Huang, one of the MCS

the 'next' generation once. So we have to

delegates who attended the Assembly

approach our young people differently."

shared, "We learnt from each other of the common opportunities and challenges faced

The new AMC Executive Committee was

by our Methodist Churches in engaging the

elected and installed. The incoming

youth and young adults, and the urgent

Chairperson is Bishop Chul Lee of The

need to listen and to walk alongside them to

Methodist Church in Korea. At the Closing

understand their desires and ways of 'doing

Service, Bishop Lee reminded attendees

and being the church'."

that their service stemmed not from their talents alone but from God's grace. Finally,

"I left Hong Kong filled with hope in God

the Assembly affirmed the importance of

for the future of the Methodist Church in

traditional spiritual values as exemplified

our different countries," Rev Huang, who

by Methodism's founder, John Wesley.

is a Trinity Annual Conference District Superintendent and a pastor at Faith Methodist Church, added.

The Assembly also benefitted from a video presentation by young people and panel discussions where representatives of member churches shared their efforts and challenges in engaging young people in church leadership.

Dr Ben Leong, Conference Lay Leader of the Chinese Annual Conference in MCS, said, "Building the next generation of believers is a common challenge churches in Asia face. A statement made by a youth in a video presentation struck me, when she said not to think of them as the 'next' generation, but to think of them as the 'now' generation. Indeed, if they are MCS delegates 4 Methodist Message April 2024

(left) Bishop Dr Gordon Wong chaired the General Assembly as the outgoing Chairperson (middle) The colours of the members of the Asian Methodist Council (right) Dr CheangFoo Fung Fong, Vice-President of TRAC, and Dr Ben Leong, Conference Lay Leader of CAC, leading worship

News

Photos courtesy of Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road), Fairfield Methodist School (Primary), Lightedpixels Photography and Geylang Methodist School (Primary)

Three Methodist schools welcome new principals This year, three new principals take the helm at Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road), Fairfield Methodist School (Primary), and Geylang Methodist School (Primary).

With the first school term completed, they share their thoughts on their schools with Methodist Message.

I

am both humbled and honoured to serve the ACS family. I am deeply

cognizant that I am standing on the shoulders of many strong leaders who came before me. Leading the school would mean growing the legacy they have gifted us. I believe that the ACS family has grown because of the favour of the Lord (Psalm 90:17). Our Alumni and its network are testament of how God has established the work of our hands.

Through my interaction with many of the old boys, I can see they have much gratitude and pride for the school. Many have assured me that I can approach them for help should the need arise, for which I am deeply grateful.

Having led two Anglican mission schools before, one of the most important lessons

Mr Khoo Tse Horng

Principal Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road)

I have learnt is to place my faith in God alone. I look forward to partnering the chaplaincy provided by Barker Road Methodist Church in introducing some ideas I have learnt from these schools so that our gentlemen are equipped to face an increasingly complex world.

This year's theme verse is Micah 6:8 (NIV), "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." We want to nurture our students to be servantleaders who demonstrate these qualities.

April 2024 Methodist Message 5

Three Methodist schools welcome new principals

Mrs Soh Mei Foong Principal Fairfield Methodist School (Primary)

I

t is an honour and privilege to serve at

of their physical and mental well-being

Fairfield Methodist School (Primary)

but also their professional development

with its rich and long history. I have much

and growth. While it is important to focus

to learn and have faith that God will

on student well-being and outcomes,

empower and provide the wisdom and

the recent pandemic has reminded me

skills to build on the good work done by

that teachers need to be valued and

my predecessors. I look forward to working

appreciated or else they would not be able

with the staff, parents, the Board and

to give of their best to their students.

Alumni, to anchor our students in strong values and competencies. Together, we can

The theme for our school this year is

prepare them to be leaders of the future, to

"Laying Strong Foundations", and the

serve God and the community.

theme verse is Luke 6:47–48. We shared with our students that for them to be

I’ve learnt that one must appreciate

successful in their pursuits, they must

the history, culture, and context of each

first lay strong foundations in their

school for no two schools are the same.

character. Only with strong character

Only then can decisions be effective and

traits such as honesty, respect, love

meaningful for individuals and the school.

and care for others, diligence, and

It is also important to ensure that staff

perseverance, can they then face

are well taken care of, not just in terms

challenges in their schoolwork and life.

6 Methodist Message April 2024

I

am honoured to be posted to Geylang Methodist School (Primary) as Principal

on its 100th anniversary, a momentous year that resonates with the school's rich history of resilience and growth.

Reflecting on the journey that brought us to this milestone, I marvel at God's faithfulness, a theme echoed in our 2024 celebration, "Celebrating God’s Goodness", inspired by Psalm 100:5, "For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations."

Having led three very different primary schools before joining the Geylang Methodist (GM) family, the need for adaptive strategies tailored to each institution's unique heritage and student profile is imperative. I will need to develop a deep understanding of

Mrs Daphne Yeoh Principal Geylang Methodist School (Primary)

the school so that I can leverage her strengths to meet her needs for the future. One of the evident strengths of GMS(P) is the caring and enabling culture built by a team of dedicated staff and supportive partners. I will certainly leverage this strength to nurture the future-ready qualities needed by our students.

As we commemorate a century of God’s goodness, I am excited to blend GM's rich history with a forwardlooking vision. Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain," serves as a guiding principle, reminding me of the importance of divine involvement in building a lasting legacy. Together, with the collective dedication of the GM family, we will navigate the challenges and opportunities ahead, ensuring the next 100 years are marked by continued excellence, innovation, and a profound commitment to shaping the future.

April 2024 Methodist Message 7

Feature

Joanna Ong is the Manager (Programmes) at Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN).

She worships at Covenant Evangelical Free Church. As someone with experience in education and research, she hopes that persons with disabilities can be a part of, and not apart from, the church community. / Photos courtesy of KIN

Source: Shutterstock

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

H

ave you entered a church where people

up avenues for people with disabilities to

with and without disabilities worship

serve. But why should we care?

God in "harmony"? Occasionally, there might be a sudden shout during worship,

Answering this question is one of the

a person rocking back and forth during

reasons Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN)

prayer, or someone running around the

exists. Birthed in 2019, KIN is a disability

pews during the sermon. No one bats an

mission organisation that enables the

eyelid. The pastor continues his preaching.

Church to welcome and disciple people

There's an occasional smile and a look of

of all abilities. KIN aims to partner with

understanding from the congregation.

churches to fulfil their missional effort to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to people

What if that same person who shouted is

with disabilities. We do this through

invited to the pulpit to read the Scriptures,

equipping, resourcing and connecting the

the father of the person who was rocking

churches in Singapore.

back and forth serves as a worship leader, while the person who ran about during the sermon helps out in collecting the offering?

The landscape of disability ministries in Singapore As part of its work to support the Church

These are just some ways that churches have

in Singapore, KIN conducted a Singapore

included people with disabilities and their

Disability Ministry Survey (SDMS) in 2023

family members. In this scenario, liturgical

to understand more about the state of

worship is redefined when the church opens

disability ministries and the needs and

8 Methodist Message April 2024

challenges faced by churches in welcoming

(one church), Presbyterians (one church)

people with disabilities into their midst.1

and Brethrens (three churches).

(The term "disability ministry" refers to any ministry that makes deliberate plans to

While it is of great encouragement that

include people with disabilities and/or their

there are 40 ministries in these 26 churches

family members.)

serving about 1,100 people with disabilities, they only address about 10% of the

The Church in Singapore has been key

population of believers. The SDMS estimates

in supporting people with disabilities

that 90% of believers with disabilities are

through social services. Social service

unchurched in Singapore.

agencies such as the Methodist Welfare Services, St Andrew's Mission Hospital,

Social realities of the present day also

Singapore Anglican Community Services

nudge us to think about the future. The

and TOUCH Community Services have

government's Enabling Masterplan (EMP)

made a significant impact on the national

2030 highlights the increasing number

disability landscape. 2 While we may boast

of children with autism and the ageing

about our presence in the social service

population of Singapore as realities that

space, hardly the same can be said of the

we must not ignore. 3 What these trends

churches. Only 5%, or 26 churches, have one

tell us is that disabilities are going to be a

or more disability ministries among the 600

progressively salient reality for churches. We

Protestant churches in Singapore.

need more disability-inclusive churches to reach these 90% of unchurched believers,

Most of these ministries come from

and more, so that all will have access to the

churches which are Anglican (five churches;

love of Christ through our churches.

19%), Methodist (six churches; 23%), or Independent Pentecostal (10 churches;

To do this, we need churches to step up

38%). Less represented in proportion to their

and fulfil the call of our Lord to bear one

populations are the Bible-Presbyterians

another's burdens (Gal 6:2).

Group discussions among disability ministry leaders and volunteers during the SDMS launch

April 2024 Methodist Message 9

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

An example at work in The Methodist Church in Singapore Wesley Methodist Church is a testament of

to create awareness among the church

a church being faithful through its efforts to

congregation, these special friends join the

include those with disabilities. The church

main service for Holy Communion every month.

has two disability ministries: Praise Special Community (PSCom), which caters to children

Sarah Khoo has been the pastoral staff in-

with special needs; and the Wesley Deaf

charge of PSCom since 2021. When Sarah

Ministry, which reaches out to the deaf and

first took over the ministry, she was mainly

hard-of-hearing in the congregation.

fulfilling her role as a pastoral staff, ensuring that the ministry could sustain itself weekly.

PSCom (originally PsCo, which stood for Praise

She felt helpless whenever she encountered

Special Outreach), was started in 1992 by

tantrums and meltdowns. But with God's

some volunteers who had the passion to reach

timely providence of skilled volunteers and

children with special needs. What started as

the full support of church leadership through

a small group of less than five children has

equipping, her heart grew to love children

grown to a total of 17 children, youths and

with special needs. The turning point came

young adults to this day. The profile of these

when she witnessed a mother of a son with

special friends includes those with moderate

Down Syndrome receiving Christ into her

to severe autism, cerebral palsy, Down

heart because she experienced God's love

Syndrome and intellectual disability.

through PSCom's acceptance and ministry

4

to her son week after week. Though the work In PSCom, children, youths and young adults

may be intense and seemingly low in tangible

can express themselves uninhibitedly during

gains, the Lord opened her eyes to see the

worship, learn about God at their own pace

eternal—through investing in the life of a child

and build friendships through games, songs

with special needs, his whole family could be

and Bible lessons. As part of PSCom's desire

potentially won for Christ.

The future of disability ministries With all the data that we have now, it is clear that we need:

 more disability ministries;  to support and develop our disability ministry leaders better; and

 to mobilise more volunteers in disability ministries.

Beyond the need for more disability ministries in churches in Singapore, KIN also sees a need for greater diversity of ministries. Most disability ministries in Singapore exclusively comprise Word-focused ministries (e.g. Sunday schools).

What may be lacking would be other forms of ministry to reach out more broadly to people with disabilities. For example, 3:16 Church started KIN's first Community of Practice held in St James Church 10 Methodist Message April 2024

Singapore's first sports-based Christian outreach ministry to persons with disabilities in 2021.

What you can do What about those of us who are not yet involved in reaching out to our special friends? Individually and collectively in The SDMS report which is available on KIN's website

With the rise of dementia among the elderly

your small groups, there are many small

population, 5 churches could also focus

ways you can start:

on seniors, not just those with physical disabilities, but on those with dementia and

Be a friend

other mental-related issues. Another cause

If a person with disability comes into

for consideration would be a ministry to the

your life, your workplace, church, or

parents and caregivers of those with special

neighbourhood, start by being a friend to

needs. With the recent case where a father

them. It can be as easy as asking them their

killed his two autistic sons in Singapore,

name and finding out about their family.

churches could look into investing in greater pastoral care support for the special families

Include people with disabilities

in their midst even if they do not provide

and their families into your small groups

disability ministries.

Invite them to join you for meetings.

Pray for them. Think about how you can

From the SDMS data, we found that churches

modify your small-group time, especially

with disability ministries are often under-

worship and teaching, to include them

resourced with skilled volunteers, and their

meaningfully.

disability ministry leaders have not received sufficient training. Therefore, KIN has developed

Equip yourself

several strategic programmes to equip disability

KIN has published a few resources,

ministry leaders and volunteers:

namely Enabling Hearts: A Primer for

 Community of Practice: a community where continual training, pastoring and collaboration takes place between disability ministries and churches;

 Certificate of Christian Disability Ministry (CCDM): a one-stop training platform for

Disability-Inclusive Churches and Enabling Communities: Bible Studies on Including People with Disabilities in Church. If you desire to learn more about disability from a Bibical perspective, consider getting yourself upskilled with the CCDM programme.6

disability ministry volunteers and leaders;

 Further training with Western Theological Seminary (WTS): to deepen the competencies of CCDM graduates who are disability ministry leaders;

 The Leaena Tambyah Scholarship for

Give your time Consider serving people with disabilities in church. If your church doesn't have a disability ministry, look out for those run by other churches or para-church organisations.

An example is Jesus Club.

Disability Ministry: financial support for CCDM graduates who are interested to

As you respond to the call to be a faithful

pursue the WTS route; and

church, I believe our God will be faithful

 Inclusive Sunday School Programme: a focused training programme for Sunday school teachers and volunteers who are interested in developing their existing Sunday schools into inclusive programmes.

to show us through personal experience how "the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are [truly] indispensable", (1 Corinthians 12:22) [emphasis by author].

The Body of Christ can only be whole when all are welcomed and discipled.

April 2024 Methodist Message 11

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

1 The full survey can be read online at https://kin.org.sg/getresourced/#sdms.

A new resource: KOINONIA GROUPS Koinonia Groups is a new resource from KIN for churches and individuals interested in creating small groups that include people with disabilities. Written by Ps Leow Wen Pin, Chew Ping Lin and Jesselyn Ng, the book aims to provide practical handles for growing together in Christlikeness regardless of a group's abilities and differences.

Details for the book launch are as follows:

11 May 2024 (Saturday) 10 a.m. – 12 p.m. (Lunch to follow) Leng Kwang Baptist Church Nearest MRT: Stevens (DT10/TE11)

2 Leow, Wen-Pin. "Disability Ministry in Singapore: Current State and Future Prospects."

Reformed World 70, no. 1 (2022): 55–61.

More information here, https:// www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/ enabling-masterplans/emp2030 3

PSCom is held concurrently with the main service every Saturday at 5pm. For more information, please contact Sarah at sarahk@ wesleymc.org 4

5 Institute of Mental Health.

"Study Establishes Prevalence of Dementia among Older Adults in Singapore", March 25, 2015. https://www.imh.com.sg.

Accessed 31 Jan 2023.

KIN's programme information can be found here, https://kin.org. sg/get-equipped#certificate-ofchristian-disability-ministry

6

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Feature

Brendan Loon worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church where he serves as an organist, a keyboardist and Worship & Music Chairperson.

He continues to mentor boys and officers through The Boys' Brigade, as Honorary Captain (33J Company) and Cluster Representative (South 2). / Photos courtesy of Brendan Loon, Eden Lok and Sengkang Methodist Church

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family A member of the Ohana Ministry taking part in the main service at SKMC

E

very 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month,

figure, helping to care for and manage the

those who serve in the Ohana Ministry

students in the class. Jun Ming guns for

of Sengkang Methodist Church (SKMC)

the front-row seat. Ethan is an energetic

arrive bright and early. The ministry's

boy drawn to tinkering on the piano. More

helpers and volunteers—like Cindy, Melissa,

friends—Zach, Julius and Ezra—join them.

Ho, Samson, Dominique, Yek Kwee, Clarissa and Veronica—excitedly prepare for a very

The students span a wide range of ages,

special Sunday school class.

from 13 to the early-30s, but they have all come to feel cared for and included in

Their students arrive from 8.45 a.m.

their local church community through

Gracia—Cindy and Yew Hock's daughter—

Ohana, which empowers them as persons

is blessed with an incredible memory,

with disabilities (PWDs) to participate

being able to state the day of any date

meaningfully in the church.

given to her. Sarah enjoys singing and serving together with her parents, Mary

How Ohana began

and Anthony, and their cell group. She

This special ministry that caters to the

sometimes serves as a "mother hen"

different needs of PWDs started in 2013 as

April 2024 Methodist Message 13

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

Ohana Ministry members and volunteers leading worship on Ohana Sunday

a class within the Children's Ministry. In

have been transformative not only for him,

2016, by God's grace and word-of-mouth

but for his friends too.

testimonies, the class grew. By 2018, the students in the class had outgrown the age

"Disability awareness and inclusion is

range of the Children's Ministry. Hence,

a journey we all take, both personally

there was a need to establish Ohana as a

and as a church community. Disability

standalone ministry. Since then, Ohana has

ministry is not about offering charity; it is

expanded beyond its Sunday school class to

about ensuring that everyone, regardless

explore social and recreational activities for

of ability, can encounter Jesus Christ,

its members as they grow into adolescence

nurture their faith and feel included. It

and young adulthood, as well as to provide

is crucial not to isolate it as a separate

a platform for caregivers to pray for and

ministry, but to take an individualised

support one another in fellowship.

approach to intentionally integrate each person with disability meaningfully

From the beginning, the vision of Ohana has

into church life. Ultimately, we need

always been based on the gospel episode of

to remember that the greatest need in

Jesus healing the paralysed man who had

special needs is the same as for everyone.

been brought by the man's friends (Mark 2;

It is the need for the life-changing Gospel

Luke 5). They worked together to overcome

of Jesus Christ," said Dominique Phang,

physical and social barriers like the roof and

who leads the ministry and is also the

the crowd, so that the paralysed man could

vice-chairperson of the Local Church

encounter Christ. Such an experience would

Executive Committee at SKMC.

14 Methodist Message April 2024

Where possible, Ohana champions an

PWDs are from their own children as

integrated approach—today, about seven to

they serve. "It is not just about empathy,

ten per cent of members belonging to age-

compassion and patience, but also about

level ministries (Children's Ministry, Youth

building different skills, which takes a

Ministry etc.) are PWDs. Only PWDs who

lot of deliberate effort and hard work,"

face more difficulty in integrating within

Melissa observes. "It is important to be

their age-level ministries join Ohana's

intentional—not just incidental—about

Sunday school class. Even with this pull-out

giving PWDs the support they need, so that

programme, the eventual goal is for PWDs'

they are not neglected."

age-level peers to join as buddies to develop friendships with them. However, leaders

"We have been encouraged to see a few

are aware this will be a challenge given the

more members of the congregation

trend of youth and young adult congregants

stepping forward to invest their time to

leaving their local church communities.

be buddies to Ohana members," notes Samson. "It is not easy for buddies too, who

Building a home

need to stay calm when a PWD is having a

For Mary and Anthony, and Melissa and

meltdown. But we all have our good days

Samson, their journeys of finding a home

and bad days, whether we are PWDs or not."

in Sengkang and a church family in SKMC have been transformative for their faith.

Both couples were brought by God's divine intervention into the Sengkang neighbourhood, and only thereafter did they find out about Ohana. Seeing how God brought them to SKMC led them to give thanks to him for preparing such a place for them and their children, who have special needs.

Both couples, as well as Cindy and Yew Hock, have seen how their children's experience in church has improved. They also serve as volunteers in Ohana. "In SKMC,

A volunteer guides an Ohana member (in purple) on how to sell food at Ohana Sunday carnival

church members may find it easier to

The Ohana team has also seen days when

accept those with special needs because

nothing much goes according to plan.

it is made known to them through Ohana,"

Through reflecting on these experiences,

Cindy explains. "Even when some PWDs

they have grown the ministry into what

make noise or behave differently, they will

it is today. Now, buddies pre-emptively

understand. In other churches, there might

offer students earmuffs to reduce auditory

be less understanding or more fear about

overstimulation and provide psychological

how to manage such situations."

assurance, especially since there are other students who produce vocal stimulations.

Even these parents of PWDs accept and

Through trial and error, the team has gotten

continue to learn just how different other

better at planning for lessons that leverage

April 2024 Methodist Message 15

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP).

Senior Leadership Team

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides • Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education • 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage • Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8.7 : 1 • 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups • Over 200 formal student leadership positions • Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

Mr Gavin Kinch Principal

Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal

Achievements include • Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP • 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years • Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal

Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal

For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg 16 Methodist Message April 2024

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore • PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities • Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

differentiated instruction, accommodating

and to renew its commitment of care and

both group instruction and one-to-one

inclusion for all of God's people.

teaching concurrently.

Even as the Ohana Ministry gives thanks While there will always be room for

for God's many blessings over its 11-year

improvement, the Ohana team celebrates

journey, the team knows that the work is

SKMC's church-wide awareness and

not done. Individuals with more invisible

emphasis on accommodating different

disabilities can look quite like everyone

needs. Training was conducted at the

else, with only their behaviour setting

various levels of church leadership to

them apart. Others may therefore form

develop a stronger understanding of how to

judgments about them being ill-disciplined

include PWDs into the whole church family.

or having bad upbringing. The team aspires

This has prompted other ministries of the

toward a future where people understand,

church to learn how best to integrate PWDs

empathise with, and extend grace to such

within their plans and programmes.

individuals. This would encourage more people to step forward to serve as buddies to PWDs and to befriend them.

When asked what advice they would give to other churches keen to care for and include PWDs more intentionally as members of the local church community, the Ohana team had the following to say:

Visual cues are used to guide the class on the activities and class rules

"Find people in the church who are willing to help and spend the time," Yew Hock said. "After all, nobody really knows what to do, but it is through experience and from

The annual Ohana Sunday

doing that you will learn what to do. We do

The Ohana ministry even coordinates

not set any entry criteria on what training

with the Worship & Music Ministry to

you need to have, because it is most

organise Ohana Sunday—SKMC's annual

important that you have the right heart of

disability awareness Sunday—in October,

service and of worship."

in partnership with other stakeholders like the autism-friendly Chapel of Christ Our Hope. Its timing is meant to coincide with the national Purple Parade movement for disability awareness. Ohana members are

To find out more about the

involved in various parts of the service on

Ohana Ministry

Ohana Sunday, such as leading worship

at Sengkang Methodist Church,

with the worship team and reading the Scripture passages. Ohana Sunday thus serves as a time for the church to celebrate the gifts PWDs have received from God,

Scan the QR code or visit https://skmc.org.sg/getinvolved/special-needsministry-ohana/

April 2024 Methodist Message 17

Feature

By Bishop Dr Gordon Wong Bishop Dr Gordon Wong was elected Bishop of The Methodist Church in Singapore in 2020. He served as President of the Trinity Annual Conference from 2013 to 2020.

Methodist Soci a l Principles

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good. But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible. How then can we apply its principles to our lives? This essay is from a 9-part series of reflections on the Methodist Social Principles, which will help all Christians live by God’s principles in today’s complex world. / Part 1 of 9 /

W

hy do Methodists focus on Social

The Bible says that God has made or created

Principles?

us for a clear purpose in life: for good works.

Doing good works in Christ Jesus for our

The answer is summarised in the opening

world and neighbourhood is the great

section of our Social Principles. "Christian

commission, given to us by God. This is not

social responsibility is rooted in the

a theory of earning salvation by doing good

teachings of the Bible and guided by

works. The two preceding verses make clear

Christian tradition."

that "it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves,

In this overview, I shall comment briefly on

it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no

the teachings of the Bible and Christian

one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV).

(Methodist) tradition.

We are not saved by, but we have been Firstly, Bible verses like Ephesians 2:10

created for, good works.

(NRSV) fire our passion for social work and Romans 8:28 (RSV) reinforces the same

made us, created in Christ Jesus for good

point: "We know that in everything God

works, which God prepared beforehand to

works for good with those who love him, who

be our way of life."

are called according to his purpose."

Source: Unsplash.com/@eutahm

social concerns: "For we are what he has

18 Methodist Message April 2024

The better-known English translation "God

are to be omitted, or to be postponed, at

works for the good of those who love him"

charity's almighty call; when we are called

(NIV) obscures the emphasis of the Greek

to relieve the distress of our neighbour,

verb which is "to work" or, more literally, "to

whether in body or soul." 2

synergise" with someone rather than for someone.1 The God of the Bible works "with"

To "relieve the distress of our neighbour,

those who love him, and God is working

whether in body or soul" is what Methodists

with us "for good".

refer to as our social principle and social concern. Our Social Principles currently list

Our Social Principles inspire us to work with

eight spheres of modern life in which we

God to do whatever good we can in the

encourage one another to do all the social

different spheres of life in today's world.

good that we can.

Secondly, to do whatever good we can



The Family

introduces a traditional paraphrase



Economics

attributed to John Wesley, the founder of



Politics



Community Life

Do all the good you can,



The Internet, Sciences and Technologies

By all the means you can



Social Well-being

In all the ways you can



Creation Care

To all the people you can,



The Church

Methodism.

As long as ever you can.

John Wesley

In a sermon titled "On Zeal", Wesley

In these and all spheres of life, "in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good."

said that Christian disciples ought to be zealous in doing both "works of piety" and "works of mercy". By "works of piety", Wesley meant the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading, prayer and Christian worship. "Works of mercy" referred to acts of charity and compassion for the distressed in society, or what The Methodist Church today refers to as Social Concerns. John Wesley regarded "works of mercy" (social concerns or doing good

Scan the QR code or visit the link below to watch the videos on the Methodist Social Principles.

for your neighbour and community) as

https://www.methodist.org.sg/resources/

the most important mark or characteristic

social-principles/

of Christian godliness. Whilst "works of piety"—prayer, Bible reading, fasting and Sunday worship—were important, Wesley said that godly persons should be "more zealous for works of mercy." And, should there be occasion where "one interferes with the other, works of mercy are to be preferred. Even reading, hearing, prayer

1 The NIV translators did, however, add an alternative translation in their footnotes which, in my opinion, is the correct emphasis: in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good.

2 http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-sermons-ofjohn-wesley-1872-edition/sermon-92-on-zeal/

April 2024 Methodist Message 19

Soundings

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

Seeing the disabled in God's image

I

n the past few decades, a number

responsibilities in the life of this church

of churches across the different

as centres for evangelical mission with

denominations have issued official

doors open to all, including those living

statements calling their congregations

with physical, sensory, intellectual,

to be places of inclusion and belonging,

mental and developmental disabilities. 1

especially for people with disabilities. For example, the Evangelical Lutheran Church

These statements echo the commands

of America, in a statement published in

found in Scripture to welcome the

2011, reminds its member churches that:

stranger (Matthew 25), include the marginalised and forgotten (Luke 14) and

Congregations gathered around

affirm the image of God in every person

word and sacrament bear crucial

(Genesis 1).

20 Methodist Message April 2024

However, as a number of Christian

when the Church understands what true

authors have noted, this call has not

inclusion entails and puts it to practice

been received with enthusiasm in many

will its members with disabilities feel

churches. As Erik Carter of Vanderbilt

truly welcomed and "at home". Only then

University observes: "Although a

will these members have a sense that

growing number of churches are

they truly belong.

widening their welcome, far too many individuals with disabilities still

Scholars tell us that true belonging

experience wounding or rejection at the

is a complex phenomenon which can

doorsteps of their parish."

only be experienced when people with

2

disabilities are present, invited, welcomed, The Pontifical Council for Justice and

known, accepted, supported, cared for,

Peace has described the Church elegantly

befriended, needed and loved. 4

as a "minister of salvation" and a

The experience of

"sacrament of God's

belonging is so

love". 3 As such, the

profoundly rooted in

Church is called to

human relationality

welcome and embrace

and community that it

every human being—

can never be fostered

not only because they

by programmes and

bear the image of their

activities. For Christians

Creator (Genesis 1:26-

with disabilities and

28), but also because

special needs to really

Christ has died for

experience a sense of

them (John 3:16).

belonging in a particular congregation, there

What does it mean

must be a radical

for the Church to be

change of mindset in

inclusive?

its members and a deliberate effort to create a distinct ecclesial culture.

According to the Christian faith, to be inclusive simply means to welcome,

Christians with disabilities will only

accept and love everyone whom God

feel that they truly belong in their

welcomes, accepts and loves. This

local congregations when they sense

attitude is underscored in every Scripture

that its members genuinely stand in

passage that enjoins Christians to

solidarity with them.

love one another (e.g. John 13:34), that emphasises their oneness in Christ (e.g.

To do this, stubborn notions of normality,

Galatians 3:28), that exhorts Christians to

health and disability—which drive too

stand in solidarity with those who rejoice

sharp a wedge between the so-called

and those who weep (e.g. Romans 12:15-

"normal" majority and "disabled" minority—

18), and that warns against discrimination

must be challenged on the basis of the

and segregation (e.g. James 2:1-4). Only

gospel and the teachings of Scripture.

April 2024 Methodist Message 21

Seeing the disabled in God's image

For the truth remains that according to

of what it means to live faithfully in the

the Christian doctrine of the primordial

world. Their friendships can bring life

Fall and its dire consequences, we are all

to people whom they encounter. And

dis-eased, dis-abled, and thus in need of

the avenues through which they serve

healing (salvation).

can meet the needs of others in their midst. Indeed, churches are incomplete

As theologian Jürgen Moltmann has put it

without the presence and participation

so eloquently and arrestingly:

of individuals with disabilities and their families. 6

[there] is no differentiation between the healthy and those with disabilities.

By welcoming, accepting and loving our

For every human life has its limitations,

brothers and sisters with disabilities as

vulnerabilities, and weaknesses. We

God does, we ourselves will grow in our

are born needy, and we die helpless. So

appreciation of what it means to belong

in truth there is no such thing as life

to Christ's Body.

without disabilities.

5

We also need to rediscover what the Bible teaches about the Body of Christ, especially the emphasis on the interdependency of all its members, and

and sisters with disabilities is one-sided.

Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 'A Message on People Living with Disabilities', Published by Theological Discernment, Office of the Presiding Bishop, Evangelical Luther Church in America, 2011. https://download.elca.org/ ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/People_with_ DisabilitiesSM.pdf.

We think only in terms of how we can

2

the indispensability of its weaker members (1 Corinthians 12).

Very often, our approach to our brothers

minister to them and care for them. While this is of course important, we need to also acknowledge that they in turn can enrich the community by their presence and gifts. Erik Carter explains: Individuals with disabilities and their families also are central to the flourishing of faith communities. Like anyone else, they bring gifts, talents, and passions that are needed by others

1

Erik Carter, 'The Absence of Asterisks: The Inclusive Church and Children with Disabilities', Journal of Catholic Education, Volume 23 (2), 169.

3 Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, 'The Human Person and Human Rights', In Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church (Washington: United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Publishing, 2004), 27.

See, for example, E.W. Carter, T.L. Boehm, N.H. Annandale & C.E. Taylor, 'Supporting congregational inclusion for children and youth with disabilities and their families', Exceptional Children 82(3), 372389.

4

Their life experiences and diverse

Jürgen Moltmann, 'Liberate Yourselves by Accepting One Another', in Nancy L. Eiesland & Don E. Saliers (ed), Human Disability and the Service of God: Reassessing Religious Practice (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1998), 110.

perspectives can help broaden views

6

in their parish. Their testimonies and personal stories can positively contribute to the faith formation of fellow believers.

22 Methodist Message April 2024

5

Carter, 'The Absence of Asterisks', 169.

By the MWS Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of MWS

Xavier and MWS staff

Parenting a child with disabilities

L

ike countless young girls, Steph

Taking toll

Low dreamed of marriage, children

In 2011, Xavier suffered a sudden seizure in

and a blissful family life. During her

school that caused him to fall and sustain a

twenties, she thought she had the life

hairline fracture in his skull. Worried about

she envisioned … until things took an

his safety, Steph decided to withdraw him

unexpected turn with the arrival of her

from school and care for him full-time.

second child, Xavier.

"It was an incredibly challenging time for Xavier was diagnosed with mild autism,

my family. My husband and I lost our jobs.

attention deficit hyperactivity disorder

We had to borrow money to cover Xavier's

(ADHD) and epilepsy. Steph recalled how

medical fees and our living expenses,"

different Xavier was from other kids.

Steph recalled.

"At nine months, we observed Xavier

Unknowingly,

struggling to sit up, unlike other children

Steph devoted

his age. The doctor diagnosed him with

so much of

developmental delay. His first word,

herself to

'Mama', came after a long wait, leading

caring for

us to initially believe it was a speech

Xavier that she

delay until we learnt he had special

inadvertently

needs," Steph, 49, explained.

neglected her two daughters,

Then came the seizures. Xavier's seizures

now 24 and 11.

began at the tender age of 18 months old, with hospital visits getting more frequent

"I was under

as his condition worsened over time.

immense Young Xavier April 2024 Methodist Message 23

Parenting a child with disabilities

emotional stress trying to manage Xavier's condition, and that had the biggest impact on my eldest daughter.

I sent her to live with my mother for six years, but she felt abandoned, like I had chosen Xavier over her," shared Steph. To this day, the weight of her past neglect continues to cast a long shadow over their family dynamics.

Xavier (in bed), Steph and Xavier's younger sister

For two decades, Steph had been Xavier's primary caregiver, juggling this

Financially, Steph's household income

responsibility with work and other family

only allows the family to support

commitments.

themselves and their two schooling daughters. They have no other income

Then in February 2023, after Xavier's

to pay for Xavier's nursing fees. Hence,

discharge from the ICU for a severe lung

the family is very grateful for Wesley

infection, Steph found herself struggling

Methodist Church's sponsorship, which

to care for him at home as he became

has greatly eased their financial strain.

bed-bound and required tube-feeding and maximum assistance in daily living.

"As a full-time caregiver, I had to make sacrifices that brought numerous

"I couldn't manage Xavier on my own.

challenges to my family," said Steph. "With

He kept pulling out his feeding tube,

MWS' help, I can now focus on securing a

and I didn't have the strength to

better future for my family."

reinsert it myself. Relying on clinic staff wasn't sustainable due to the charges," explained Steph. "Also, my son was growing taller, and I couldn't hold him for extended periods."

WITH JUST $1 A DAY, YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE GET OUT OF THE POVERTY CYCLE

It was then that Steph decided to seek help. Today, Xavier receives round-theclock care by a multi-disciplinary team in a safe environment at MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang.

A new lease of life In the Nursing Home, Xavier, now 22, takes part in activities such as music therapy and games to improve his social and physical well-being.

According to a 2020 study*, 1 in 8 households in Singapore cannot cover their basic living needs. Many families, like Steph's, face complex challenges that perpetuate a cycle of poverty. These include financial distress, fractured relationships and health issues.

They require ongoing support and holistic interventions to break free from this cycle.

Your gift of $1 a day can empower these families to make gradual progress towards a brighter future.

"Seeing Xavier being engaged meaningfully

Scan the

and taken care of, I feel a sense of relief

QR Code

and can now focus on my other children. I can now help my youngest daughter with homework and volunteer at her school," shared Steph. "I can also concentrate better at work, and feel less stressed."

24 Methodist Message April 2024

.

to donate.

* Definitions and Measurements of Poverty 2020, Irene Y.H Ng, Dept of Social Work (NUS, 2020)

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

You and Your Family

Letting go and moving on with

I

time

recently learnt of a rather clever and useful

some form of restitution. For example, they

cosmetic item called a concealer. It is

may pay for or replace a lost or broken item

used to hide skin discolouration, blemishes

even though it may be but a token of the

or creases. I saw a demonstration of its

loss, especially when the item holds high

effectiveness by someone near and dear to

sentimental value.

me and was amazed by how it appeared to erase flaws. I should add here, before my

Sometimes, restitution is not possible when

enthusiasm gets the better of me, that the

no financial amount can be adequately

concealer, rather than eliminating blemishes,

attached to it, e.g. when trust is betrayed

helped cover them up for a time.

or when one is wrongly maligned. The hurt party, when confronted with efforts to mend

Unlike concealers and skin blemishes, some

broken ties, may wonder if it is in their

of our mistakes are not as easily erased

interest to maintain the estrangement or to

nor the broken relationships in our lives as

restore contact.

easily mended.

I have seen situations when the wronged The usual process to repair broken

party is utterly consumed by their hurt

relationships, especially when one is

and anger. It is as if, like in Shakespeare’s

responsible for causing hurt or making

The Merchant of Venice, they become the

a mistake, is to admit the wrong and

cruel moneylender who demands a pound

apologise. The hope is that the hurt party will

of flesh as payment for the debt. Ironically,

accept the apology and wipe the slate clean.

holding on to pain and anger harms the

Sometimes, the offending party may offer

hurt party again and again. There is no April 2024 Methodist Message 25

Letting go and moving on with time

release until one decides to let go of the

we have left may cause us to value what we

hurt and anger and move on.

have more than what we lost.

Moving on from a hurt is often complicated

Finally, peace-making between strained

by the passage of time. It may have

parties may be initiated by others rather

happened so long ago that few can

than by the main protagonists themselves.

remember exactly the circumstances that

I have observed concerned family members

precipitated it. In some cases, the events

and friends attempting to broker a mending

when recalled and viewed through the lens

of ties. In one instance, cousins initiate

of time may seem rather mundane. It may

meetings of their respective families and do

have been a misunderstanding that got

what their parents had perhaps tried but

compounded by a faux pas and followed by

failed to do. Sometimes, shared events like

the negative reciprocity of withdrawal and

weddings may present the opportunity for

criticism. After some time, no one can recall

parties with strained relationships to meet.

exactly how or by whom it all started.

When the relationships are mended, we Time may provide emotional distance

sometimes wonder what all the fuss was

that helps break the cycle of memory,

about that caused the split. Or even when

withdrawal and anger. Perhaps, as the years

there was a valid cause before, its emotional

go by, we are not only more distant from the

sting is no longer so potent. Perhaps, time is

hurtful events but also closer to the end of

the ultimate eraser of hurts in relationships,

our lives. The shortness of time we realise

having an effect that is longer lasting.

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Benny Bong has over 40

years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently

pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered

clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

Friendships

What is the Christian view on seeking the help of temple mediums?

Li Ping says Dear Apple, It is not my place to comment on the practices of other religions, but I can give a perspective of similar practices that have been forbidden for believers.

I've seen some friends who are non-believers fall sick and go to

The practice you described is a form of divination, which

the temple to seek the advice

is an attempt to gain supernatural knowledge, either to

of other gods (e.g. god of the

understand why something has happened, or to predict

tiger) about their sickness. The

the future.

medium will talk in a way that is not his usual self and appear as

Divination, when it seeks knowledge from any spirit or

if someone has entered his body.

being other than God himself, is strictly prohibited in

What is the Christian view on this?

the Bible (e.g. Deuteronomy 18:10-14), because it draws

Is there really a god that can enter

believers away from God and dependence on him, and

a person's body and give advice?

into dangerous contact with spiritual forces that are not

 Apple

aligned with God. April 2024 Methodist Message 27

At The Well

Acts 16:16 lists one such example where a female slave was able to divine the future due to her possession of a spirit. After Paul cast out the spirit in the name of Jesus, she lost her power of divination, showing that it was tied to that spirit. There is indeed a spiritual world that is populated with spirits who serve God, and those who do not. Revelation 12:7-9 speaks about how that came to be.

God desires that we go to him alone for wisdom, assurance, and healing, and we can do so through prayer (Matthew 7:7-8), through his Word (Psalm 119:105), and the wise counsel of fellow, mature believers (James 5:14-16).

Friendships

I get pushback when I tell my friend that she has hurt my feelings When I express that I am hurt by what my friend says or does, she usually denies it and instead says I'm accusing her or that I'm being abusive. But I'm just expressing how I feel. How do I handle this?  Lily

Ai Jin says Dear Lily, There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. When you express your feelings to your friend, you simply want her to know how you’ve been hurt. What you hope for is that she would respond with empathy and see it from your point of view, so as not to do or say things to hurt you again.

Unfortunately, your friend seems unwilling to listen and is defensive. You cannot control how your friend reacts and so if she refuses to acknowledge how her actions have hurt you, do seek out other friends who can provide you with support and understanding.

28 Methodist Message April 2024

Dating & Marriage

My wife has a hoarding habit My wife has a habit of shopping and accumulating things. Our home has become so cluttered that when guests come, they have nowhere to sit because there are things everywhere and I must physically shift items to make space. I am too embarrassed to invite family or friends over. I have spoken to her many times to change her habit of online shopping and buying things even though the items she buys are educational such as books or good toys for my young children. We are financially very comfortable so there is nothing to curb her shopping habit. We have given some items away but she then acquires other things and we are back to square one. Is a hoarding habit something serious or is it just a personality thing? I do not want to pick a fight with her because she is overall a good mother and wife and God-fearing.  Too much stuff

Benny says Dear Too much stuff, The accumulation of things in excess is something associated with our modern times. In the past, people were living with meagre resources and there was less acquiring of things that were of little practical value. With increased means, many of us have gone beyond just getting what we need but what we want, desire or feel that we must possess.

The hoarder not only acquires and collects multiple sets of the same item but has difficulty getting rid of them. The amassed items begin to get the better of its owner and spill over and occupy one’s home and life. In extreme cases, when common spaces like sleeping and dining areas are filled, sometimes from floor to ceiling, it is deemed as a mental disorder. The hoarder loses control of their behaviour,

cannot deal with this obsession rationally and argues with those around them over this issue. To deal with this problem, you and others can consider the following: 1)

Talk with your wife and get her to agree to regularly clear out items.

It may begin with removing a bag or two once a week and then every other day. Work with her on this as it may be difficult for her to let go. If the items were bought for the children, get them to help decide which is no longer needed and therefore to be given away or discarded. Do not be discouraged if your efforts are met with some resistance. Some clients have been seen retrieving items at the rubbish bin after throwing them away. But keep at it.

2) Identify undiagnosed anxieties and address these directly. In one case, an elderly widowed woman was concerned about her dwindling financial savings and in another it was her loss of social contact and loneliness.

3) In helping your wife with this issue, do not make it your sole preoccupation or point of contact with her. Involve her in other pursuits such as care of others (such as grandparents, nephews or nieces), attending fellowship groups, doing voluntary work, etc. Meaningful engagements in these new activities may then compete for the precious time and energy in her life.

4) Last but not least, pray. Ask God to free her from this obsession and its related anxieties. Pray for love and patience to see her through this phase.

April 2024 Methodist Message 29

Walking alongside you with compassion and care

ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

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Worship

Kathryn Cheng is an Assistant Programme Executive at the Methodist School of Music, Worship and Music Department. She is a member of Foochow Methodist Church.

When prayer for healing is not what is needed

I

n the book My Body Is Not A Prayer

are figures in the Bible who dealt with

Request: Disability Justice In The Church,

what we would categorise as disabilities or

author Dr Amy Kenny writes, "Disability

mental illnesses, and though they were not

acts as a method for revealing the living

cured of their conditions, they still went on

God to the community, not something

to do God's work.

that always needs to be prayed away to showcase God's power."

Let us pray for a spirit of patience and compassion, so we can better empathise

The differently abled do not exist only as

with people who live differently from us. Let

broken bodies to be prayed over. There

us pray for an open mind, that we can see

is nothing more disempowering than

how others do things differently from us.

being told that your condition is a sign of

Let us pray for the right opportunities, that

insufficient faith. While the Bible contains

those with special needs can be directed to

many instances of miraculous healings, the

the right places where they can thrive.

narrative of healing is not the only narrative that exists.

In this world, we are all grappling with our own challenges, and it is very unlikely

A man speaking in sign language Source: Shutterstock

What happens to those of us that live in

that all our problems and ailments will

bodies considered less than society's ideal?

be healed in our lifetimes. It is only when

To those who may have prayed for healing

we enter God's kingdom that we will

and yet not experienced it?

all receive perfect bodies. Till then, we should all strive to embody the same love

How should we pray for the differently abled

and compassion towards others that God

among us in a more sensitive way? There

demonstrates towards us.

April 2024 Methodist Message 31

Celebrating 25 years of service

REMEMBERING

LOV E D O N E S

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View our video here “Would highly recommend to anyone considering a beautiful and tranquil environment to grieve the loss of their loved ones. The layout of the niche is also airy and bright. It also reflects a certain tranquility and peace.” -Vincy Ng

Visit

remembrance.sg

Contact us at remembrance@methodist.org.sg 6795 8978 9836 0950

The Garden of Remembrance is a Christian columbarium wholly owned by The Methodist Church in Singapore

Dr Amutha Premkumar worships at Ang Mo Kio Tamil Methodist Church and serves as Chairperson in the Discipleship and Nurture Ministry. / Photo courtesy of Dr Amutha Premkumar

I am the Potter's clay

I

came to know God during high school and entered a deeper relationship with

the Lord after marriage. As I look back at my journey with God over the years, I can see two parallel activities—God's work in me and his work in the field where he was going to place me.

God groomed me from being an observer to be a co-worker along with my husband in the evangelism ministry among university students. He then let me take independent baby steps as a teacher in Sunday school. This was followed by

Dr Amutha (right most) with her family: (from left) husband, Prem Kumar; daughter, Camilla Roshal; son, Marshall David and daughter-in-law, Kavita Marshall

the call to lead the Women's Society of

I can see how God took me—a shapeless

Christian Service (WSCS) at my church,

and useless lump of clay—and moulded

which seemed too big a role for me. But

me into a vessel useful for him in different

his grace was more than sufficient, giving

areas. Spiritual pruning took place along

me direction, resources and strength for

the way while he held me through those

the work.

difficult teaching moments.

Although I have since embarked on the

God is already at work around us and he

Discipleship and Nurture ministry, my work

puts the one he has prepared in the right

among the women continues, in particular

place at the right time to fill every gap in his

with the Fellowship of Indian Sisters (FIS),

kingdom. Knowing this makes me believe

a ministry that reaches out to migrant

and accept that "[his] yoke is easy, and [his]

workers in Singapore.

burden is light" (Matthew 11:30).

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

April 2024 Methodist Message 33

MOVING IN THE SPIRIT 8, 15, 22 & 29 April 2024 (Mondays), 9.30 a.m. – 12.30 p.m.

Fairfield Methodist Church, Kuehn Hall, S088437 Register via http://tinyurl.com/SFS-MITS or WhatsApp 8023 1740 $20 (includes materials and refreshments) The topics to be covered in this series include:

   

Understanding the Spiritual Being Worshipping in the Spirit Praying in the Spirit Building the inner man

This series is facilitated by Rev Irene Thung, a retired pastor of The Methodist Church in Singapore.

Organised by TRAC BOSM School for Seniors

THE CHURCH THAT LISTENS: COUNSELLING ESSENTIALS FOR MINISTRY 13, 20 & 27 April 2024 (Saturdays), 8.30 a.m. – 1.00 p.m.

Trinity Theological College, 490 Upper Bukit Timah Road, S678093 Register via www.ttc.edu.sg/english/EQUIPinfo $150 Designed to equip church members with the skills and knowledge they need to provide counselling support to others in their community, participants will learn the basics of counselling, including how to build rapport, listen effectively and respond in a helpful and supportive way. They will also practise their skills in a safe and supportive environment.

Class size is limited to 30 participants as course activities involve movement, practical observations and art.

The speaker, Gary Koh, is a family counsellor who has spent the past 24 years working with couples, parents and youth. He has served as a full-time minister and previously headed a team of counsellors at a local school. He speaks regularly at community events, churches and schools on family, marriage and issues pertaining to sexuality and mental health. Gary serves as family and missions pastor at Bethesda Bedok Tampines Church.

Organised by EQUIP

THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE, SINGLENESS, OFFSPRING AND FAMILY 14 – 15 and 17 – 18 June 2024 (Fri & Sat, Mon & Tue), 9.00 a.m. – 5.00 p.m.

Online via Zoom Details and registration via https://courses.bgst.edu.sg/courses/ $600 This course explores theological dimensions and engages contemporary theological questions and challenges around the definition and purpose of marriage, the purpose, place and validity of singleness, issues related to sexuality and identity, biblical visions for biological and spiritual family and perspectives of divorce and remarriage.

Offered in partnership with Seminari Theoloji Malaysia (STM), this course will be focusing on developing a compelling biblical-theological worldview for engaging challenges on marriage and family faced by pastors and Christian leaders today.

Dr Barry N Danylak, the Adjunct Professor of Theology at Rocky Mountain College in Calgary, is the instructor for this course.

Organised by BGST