Methodist Message: April 2024

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Whither ministries for persons with disabilities in Singapore churches?

Ohana Ministry at Sengkang Methodist Church: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

DISABILITY ISSUE

Fearfully and wonderfully made

Vol 126 No 4 APRIL 2024 MCI (P) 013/11/2023
Have something to say or share? Email us at communications@methodist.org.sg Layout by Londonbob Design Printed by Adred Creation Print Pte Ltd The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated. 70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936 6478-4793 | 6478-4763 methodist.org.sg/message www.methodist.org.sg communications@methodist. org.sg fb.com/Methodist.SG @methodist.sg @methodistsg Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications Communications Manager Lynn Tan Managing Editor Alvin Tay Editor Lianne Ong Communications Executive Kathrynn Koh Sub-editors Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai Elliot Soh Proofreaders Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan / Bishop’s Message / / News / 3 Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities and challenges to engage the younger generations 5 Three Methodist schools welcome new principals / Feature / 8 Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore? 13 Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family 18 Methodist Social Principles: An overview / Opinion / 20 Soundings: Seeing the disabled in God's image / Outreach / 23 Parenting a child with disabilities / Relationships / 25 You & Your Family: Letting go and moving on with time 27 At The Well / Worship / 31 When prayer for healing is not what is needed / People / 33 I am the Potter's clay Contents

Looking at foreigners with God's heart

"And the foreigners who join themselves to the LORD, to minister to him, to love the name of the LORD, and to be his servants, everyone who keeps the Sabbath and does not profane it, and holds fast my covenant—these I will bring to my holy mountain, and make them joyful in my house of prayer; their burnt offerings and their sacrifices will be accepted on my altar; for my house shall be called a house of prayer for all peoples." The Lord GOD, who gathers the outcasts of Israel, declares, "I will gather yet others to him besides those already gathered."

Isaiah 56:6-8

We humans tend to form cliques, and we click with those who are like us and who like us. We avoid those who are different from ourselves—who talk differently, see differently, hear differently, move differently or even think differently—and especially those who believe differently. In our minds, perhaps they are like "foreigners".

But God sees each person as precious and wants his house to be a house of prayer "for all peoples" who "join themselves to the Lord"

Many people around us are made to feel like outcasts. They may be differently abled, or unable to be productive according to the norms in our culture. We need to see them with God's heart, for their worship is precious to God for its purity. He does not measure them by their economic capability or intelligence. He loves them.

If we are uncomfortable with those different from ourselves, let us ask why this may be so. And whether we know the answer or not, let us embrace them with love and invite them to the community that bears God's Name.

Will we do that, today?

April 2024 — Methodist Message 1

T2024

Call for Petitions for the BOD

he Methodist Church in Singapore – General Conference (commonly called The Methodist Church in Singapore or MCS) will be holding the 13th Session of its plenary body, the General Conference (GC), on 2–6 September and 4–6 December 2024.

This regular session of the GC is held once every four years (a quadrennium), where delegates from the three Annual Conferences (CAC, ETAC and TRAC) come together to elect officers for the GC, revise church laws, approve work plans and budgets for church-wide programmes, as well as adopt resolutions on moral and social issues. The GC organises councils and agencies for the general work of MCS, and during the course of its regular session, elections are held for various officers of the GC and of these councils and agencies to serve in the coming quadrennium. This includes the election of a Bishop to oversee the affairs of MCS and the work of the GC.

At its regular session, the GC also receives and debates petitions, which are proposals to make changes to The Book of Discipline (BOD), the rule book that describes how the Church is organised and administered, and contains the Constitution, Doctrinal Statements and General Rules. While such petitions are normally initiated by the Annual Conferences or the Discipline Revision Commission, any organisation, minister or lay member of MCS may submit a petition in the following manner:

1. Three copies of the petition must be sent to the secretary of the GC.

2. Each petition must address only one paragraph of the BOD or, if the BOD is not affected, one issue.

3. Each petition must be signed by the person submitting it, accompanied by appropriate identification, such as address, local church, or Methodist board or agency relationship.

4. Petitions must be received by the secretary of the GC no later than 60 days prior to the opening session of the regular session of the GC, i.e. before or on 4 July 2024.

Petitions must be mailed to arrive before or on 4 July 2024 to:

The General Conference Secretary (Petitions)

The Methodist Church in Singapore

70 Barker Road

#06-04 Methodist Centre Singapore 309936

Delegates at the Asian Methodist Council 6th General Assembly held in Hong Kong

Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities and challenges to

engage the younger generations

The Sixth General Assembly of the Asian Methodist Council (AMC) took place from 27 February to 1 March 2024, at the Chinese Methodist Church in Hong Kong. The theme this year was "Opportunities and Challenges for Our Next Generation". The AMC began in 2002 with its inaugural meeting hosted by South Korea. This year, The Methodist Church in Nepal was admitted as the 15th member of the AMC General Assembly.

Bishop Dr Gordon Wong of The Methodist Church in Singapore (MCS), who is also the outgoing Chairperson of the AMC, opened the Assembly with his sermon "Created for Good". He emphasised the need to "synergise" or work with God in all things to bring about whatever good we can. "We are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works," said Bishop Dr Wong.

Keynote speaker, Prof Jayeel Serrano

Cornelio spoke on "The State of the Youth: Prospects and Challenges". In his keynote address, Prof Cornelio shared his studies on Asian youths with the aim of setting a framework for the plenary sessions of the General Assembly.

During the first plenary session, Dr Yat-Hin Leong spoke on "Boring and Outdated: Church in a Tech-Savvy World" and how to reach digital natives through church ministries.

Throughout the 4-day conference, the Assembly affirmed the value and uniqueness of the next generation, encompassing their cultural and religious identities. It encouraged churches to adopt a proactive and open attitude in actively listening and understanding the next generation, and

April 2024 — Methodist Message 3 News Lianne Ong is the Editor of Methodist Message. / Photos from AMC organisers and MCS delegates

Asian Methodist Council discusses opportunities and challenges to engage the younger generations

journey with them through new approaches and mediums, in order that they could become the successors in the Church. Rev Kenneth Huang, one of the MCS delegates who attended the Assembly shared, "We learnt from each other of the common opportunities and challenges faced by our Methodist Churches in engaging the youth and young adults, and the urgent need to listen and to walk alongside them to understand their desires and ways of 'doing and being the church'."

"I left Hong Kong filled with hope in God for the future of the Methodist Church in our different countries," Rev Huang, who is a Trinity Annual Conference District Superintendent and a pastor at Faith Methodist Church, added.

The Assembly also benefitted from a video presentation by young people and panel discussions where representatives of member churches shared their efforts and challenges in engaging young people in church leadership.

Dr Ben Leong, Conference Lay Leader of the Chinese Annual Conference in MCS, said, "Building the next generation of believers is a common challenge churches in Asia face. A statement made by a youth in a video presentation struck me, when she said not to think of them as the 'next' generation, but to think of them as the 'now' generation. Indeed, if they are

always considered 'next', when will they ever be 'now'? They will be left behind and go their own way. My generation was the 'next' generation once. So we have to approach our young people differently."

The new AMC Executive Committee was elected and installed. The incoming Chairperson is Bishop Chul Lee of The Methodist Church in Korea. At the Closing Service, Bishop Lee reminded attendees that their service stemmed not from their talents alone but from God's grace. Finally, the Assembly affirmed the importance of traditional spiritual values as exemplified by Methodism's founder, John Wesley.

(left) Bishop Dr Gordon Wong chaired the General Assembly as the outgoing Chairperson (middle) The colours of the members of the Asian Methodist Council (right) Dr CheangFoo Fung Fong, Vice-President of TRAC, and Dr Ben Leong, Conference Lay Leader of CAC, leading worship
4 Methodist Message — April 2024
MCS delegates

Three Methodist schools welcome new principals

This year, three new principals take the helm at Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road), Fairfield Methodist School (Primary), and Geylang Methodist School (Primary). With the first school term completed, they share their thoughts on their schools with Methodist Message.

Iam both humbled and honoured to serve the ACS family. I am deeply cognizant that I am standing on the shoulders of many strong leaders who came before me. Leading the school would mean growing the legacy they have gifted us. I believe that the ACS family has grown because of the favour of the Lord (Psalm 90:17). Our Alumni and its network are testament of how God has established the work of our hands.

Through my interaction with many of the old boys, I can see they have much gratitude and pride for the school. Many have assured me that I can approach them for help should the need arise, for which I am deeply grateful.

Having led two Anglican mission schools before, one of the most important lessons I have learnt is to place my faith in God alone. I look forward to partnering the chaplaincy provided by Barker Road Methodist Church in introducing some ideas I have learnt from these schools so that our gentlemen are equipped to face an increasingly complex world.

This year's theme verse is Micah 6:8 (NIV), "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." We want to nurture our students to be servantleaders who demonstrate these qualities.

April 2024 — Methodist Message 5 News Photos courtesy of Anglo-Chinese School (Barker Road), Fairfield Methodist School (Primary), Lightedpixels Photography and Geylang Methodist School (Primary)

It is an honour and privilege to serve at Fairfield Methodist School (Primary) with its rich and long history. I have much to learn and have faith that God will empower and provide the wisdom and skills to build on the good work done by my predecessors. I look forward to working with the staff, parents, the Board and Alumni, to anchor our students in strong values and competencies. Together, we can prepare them to be leaders of the future, to serve God and the community.

I’ve learnt that one must appreciate the history, culture, and context of each school for no two schools are the same. Only then can decisions be effective and meaningful for individuals and the school. It is also important to ensure that staff are well taken care of, not just in terms

of their physical and mental well-being but also their professional development and growth. While it is important to focus on student well-being and outcomes, the recent pandemic has reminded me that teachers need to be valued and appreciated or else they would not be able to give of their best to their students.

The theme for our school this year is "Laying Strong Foundations", and the theme verse is Luke 6:47–48. We shared with our students that for them to be successful in their pursuits, they must first lay strong foundations in their character. Only with strong character traits such as honesty, respect, love and care for others, diligence, and perseverance, can they then face challenges in their schoolwork and life.

6 Methodist Message — April 2024 Three Methodist schools welcome new principals

Iam honoured to be posted to Geylang Methodist School (Primary) as Principal on its 100th anniversary, a momentous year that resonates with the school's rich history of resilience and growth. Reflecting on the journey that brought us to this milestone, I marvel at God's faithfulness, a theme echoed in our 2024 celebration, "Celebrating God’s Goodness", inspired by Psalm 100:5, "For the Lord is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations."

Having led three very different primary schools before joining the Geylang Methodist (GM) family, the need for adaptive strategies tailored to each institution's unique heritage and student profile is imperative. I will need to develop a deep understanding of the school so that I can leverage her strengths to meet her needs for the future. One of the evident strengths of GMS(P) is the caring and enabling culture built by a team of dedicated staff and supportive partners. I will certainly leverage this strength to nurture the future-ready qualities needed by our students.

As we commemorate a century of God’s goodness, I am excited to blend GM's rich history with a forwardlooking vision. Psalm 127:1 "Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labour in vain," serves as a guiding principle, reminding me of the importance of divine involvement in building a lasting legacy. Together, with the collective dedication of the GM family, we will navigate the challenges and opportunities ahead, ensuring the next 100 years are marked by continued excellence, innovation, and a profound commitment to shaping the future.

April 2024 — Methodist Message 7

Feature

Joanna Ong is the Manager (Programmes) at Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN). She worships at Covenant Evangelical Free Church. As someone with experience in education and research, she hopes that persons with disabilities can be a part of, and not apart from, the church community. / Photos courtesy of KIN

Have you entered a church where people with and without disabilities worship God in "harmony"? Occasionally, there might be a sudden shout during worship, a person rocking back and forth during prayer, or someone running around the pews during the sermon. No one bats an eyelid. The pastor continues his preaching. There's an occasional smile and a look of understanding from the congregation.

What if that same person who shouted is invited to the pulpit to read the Scriptures, the father of the person who was rocking back and forth serves as a worship leader, while the person who ran about during the sermon helps out in collecting the offering?

These are just some ways that churches have included people with disabilities and their family members. In this scenario, liturgical worship is redefined when the church opens

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

up avenues for people with disabilities to serve. But why should we care?

Answering this question is one of the reasons Koinonia Inclusion Network (KIN) exists. Birthed in 2019, KIN is a disability mission organisation that enables the Church to welcome and disciple people of all abilities. KIN aims to partner with churches to fulfil their missional effort to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to people with disabilities. We do this through equipping, resourcing and connecting the churches in Singapore.

The landscape of disability ministries in Singapore

As part of its work to support the Church in Singapore, KIN conducted a Singapore Disability Ministry Survey (SDMS) in 2023 to understand more about the state of disability ministries and the needs and

8 Methodist Message — April 2024
Source: Shutterstock

challenges faced by churches in welcoming people with disabilities into their midst. 1 (The term "disability ministry" refers to any ministry that makes deliberate plans to include people with disabilities and/or their family members.)

The Church in Singapore has been key in supporting people with disabilities through social services. Social service agencies such as the Methodist Welfare Services, St Andrew's Mission Hospital, Singapore Anglican Community Services and TOUCH Community Services have made a significant impact on the national disability landscape. 2 While we may boast about our presence in the social service space, hardly the same can be said of the churches. Only 5%, or 26 churches, have one or more disability ministries among the 600 Protestant churches in Singapore.

Most of these ministries come from churches which are Anglican (five churches; 19%), Methodist (six churches; 23%), or Independent Pentecostal (10 churches; 38%). Less represented in proportion to their populations are the Bible-Presbyterians

(one church), Presbyterians (one church) and Brethrens (three churches).

While it is of great encouragement that there are 40 ministries in these 26 churches serving about 1,100 people with disabilities, they only address about 10% of the population of believers. The SDMS estimates that 90% of believers with disabilities are unchurched in Singapore.

Social realities of the present day also nudge us to think about the future. The government's Enabling Masterplan (EMP) 2030 highlights the increasing number of children with autism and the ageing population of Singapore as realities that we must not ignore. 3 What these trends tell us is that disabilities are going to be a progressively salient reality for churches. We need more disability-inclusive churches to reach these 90% of unchurched believers, and more, so that all will have access to the love of Christ through our churches.

To do this, we need churches to step up and fulfil the call of our Lord to bear one another's burdens (Gal 6:2).

April 2024 — Methodist Message 9
Group discussions among disability ministry leaders and volunteers during the SDMS launch

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

An example at work in The Methodist Church in Singapore

Wesley Methodist Church is a testament of a church being faithful through its efforts to include those with disabilities. The church has two disability ministries: Praise Special Community (PSCom), which caters to children with special needs; and the Wesley Deaf Ministry, which reaches out to the deaf and hard-of-hearing in the congregation.

PSCom (originally PsCo, which stood for Praise Special Outreach), was started in 1992 by some volunteers who had the passion to reach children with special needs. What started as a small group of less than five children has grown to a total of 17 children, youths and young adults to this day. 4 The profile of these special friends includes those with moderate to severe autism, cerebral palsy, Down Syndrome and intellectual disability.

In PSCom, children, youths and young adults can express themselves uninhibitedly during worship, learn about God at their own pace and build friendships through games, songs and Bible lessons. As part of PSCom's desire

to create awareness among the church congregation, these special friends join the main service for Holy Communion every month.

Sarah Khoo has been the pastoral staff incharge of PSCom since 2021. When Sarah first took over the ministry, she was mainly fulfilling her role as a pastoral staff, ensuring that the ministry could sustain itself weekly. She felt helpless whenever she encountered tantrums and meltdowns. But with God's timely providence of skilled volunteers and the full support of church leadership through equipping, her heart grew to love children with special needs. The turning point came when she witnessed a mother of a son with Down Syndrome receiving Christ into her heart because she experienced God's love through PSCom's acceptance and ministry to her son week after week. Though the work may be intense and seemingly low in tangible gains, the Lord opened her eyes to see the eternal—through investing in the life of a child with special needs, his whole family could be potentially won for Christ.

The future of disability ministries

With all the data that we have now, it is clear that we need:

 more disability ministries;

 to support and develop our disability ministry leaders better; and

 to mobilise more volunteers in disability ministries.

Beyond the need for more disability ministries in churches in Singapore, KIN also sees a need for greater diversity of ministries. Most disability ministries in Singapore exclusively comprise Word-focused ministries (e.g. Sunday schools). What may be lacking would be other forms of ministry to reach out more broadly to people with disabilities. For example, 3:16 Church started Singapore's first sports-based Christian outreach ministry to persons with disabilities in 2021.

KIN's first Community of Practice held in St James Church
10 Methodist Message — April 2024

The SDMS report which is available on KIN's website

population, on seniors, not just those with physical disabilities, but on those with dementia and other mental-related issues. Another cause for consideration would be a ministry to the parents and caregivers of those with special needs. With the recent case where a father killed his two autistic sons in Singapore, churches could look into investing in greater pastoral care support for the special families in their midst even if they do not provide disability ministries.

From the SDMS data, we found that churches with disability ministries are often underresourced with skilled volunteers, and their disability ministry leaders have not received sufficient training. Therefore, KIN has developed several strategic programmes to equip disability ministry leaders and volunteers:

 Community of Practice: a community where continual training, pastoring and collaboration takes place between disability ministries and churches;

 Certificate of Christian Disability Ministry (CCDM): a one-stop training platform for disability ministry volunteers and leaders;

 Further training with Western Theological Seminary (WTS): to deepen the competencies of CCDM graduates who are disability ministry leaders;

 The Leaena Tambyah Scholarship for Disability Ministry: financial support for CCDM graduates who are interested to pursue the WTS route; and

 Inclusive Sunday School Programme: a focused training programme for Sunday school teachers and volunteers who are interested in developing their existing Sunday schools into inclusive programmes.

What you can do

What about those of us who are not yet involved in reaching out to our special friends? Individually and collectively in your small groups, there are many small ways you can start:

Be a friend

If a person with disability comes into your life, your workplace, church, or neighbourhood, start by being a friend to them. It can be as easy as asking them their name and finding out about their family.

Include people with disabilities and their families into your small groups

Invite them to join you for meetings. Pray for them. Think about how you can modify your small-group time, especially worship and teaching, to include them meaningfully.

Equip yourself

KIN has published a few resources, namely Enabling Hearts: A Primer for Disability-Inclusive Churches and Enabling Communities: Bible Studies on Including People with Disabilities in Church . If you desire to learn more about disability from a Bibical perspective, consider getting yourself upskilled with the CCDM programme. 6

Give your time

Consider serving people with disabilities in church. If your church doesn't have a disability ministry, look out for those run by other churches or para-church organisations. An example is Jesus Club.

As you respond to the call to be a faithful church, I believe our God will be faithful to show us through personal experience how "the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are [truly] indispensable" , (1 Corinthians 12:22) [emphasis by author].

The Body of Christ can only be whole when all are welcomed and discipled.

April 2024 — Methodist Message 11

Whither the Church and disability ministries in Singapore?

A new resource: KOINONIA GROUPS

Koinonia Groups is a new resource from KIN for churches and individuals interested in creating small groups that include people with disabilities. Written by Ps Leow Wen Pin, Chew Ping Lin and Jesselyn Ng, the book aims to provide practical handles for growing together in Christlikeness regardless of a group's abilities and differences.

Details for the book launch are as follows:

11 May 2024 (Saturday)

10 a.m. – 12 p.m. (Lunch to follow)

Leng Kwang Baptist Church

Nearest MRT: Stevens (DT10/TE11)

1 The full survey can be read online at https://kin.org.sg/getresourced/#sdms.

2 Leow, Wen-Pin. "Disability Ministry in Singapore: Current State and Future Prospects." Reformed World 70, no. 1 (2022): 55–61.

3 More information here, https:// www.msf.gov.sg/what-we-do/ enabling-masterplans/emp2030

4 PSCom is held concurrently with the main service every Saturday at 5pm. For more information, please contact Sarah at sarahk@ wesleymc.org

5 Institute of Mental Health. "Study Establishes Prevalence of Dementia among Older Adults in Singapore" , March 25, 2015. https://www.imh.com.sg. Accessed 31 Jan 2023.

6 KIN's programme information can be found here, https://kin.org. sg/get-equipped#certificate-ofchristian-disability-ministry

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A member of the Ohana Ministry taking part in the main service at SKMC

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Brendan Loon worships at Aldersgate Methodist Church where he serves as an organist, a keyboardist and Worship & Music Chairperson.

He continues to mentor boys and officers through The Boys' Brigade, as Honorary Captain (33J Company) and Cluster Representative (South 2).

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

Every 2nd and 4th Sunday of the month, those who serve in the Ohana Ministry of Sengkang Methodist Church (SKMC) arrive bright and early. The ministry's helpers and volunteers—like Cindy, Melissa, Ho, Samson, Dominique, Yek Kwee, Clarissa and Veronica—excitedly prepare for a very special Sunday school class.

Their students arrive from 8.45 a.m. Gracia—Cindy and Yew Hock's daughter— is blessed with an incredible memory, being able to state the day of any date given to her. Sarah enjoys singing and serving together with her parents, Mary and Anthony, and their cell group. She sometimes serves as a "mother hen"

figure, helping to care for and manage the students in the class. Jun Ming guns for the front-row seat. Ethan is an energetic boy drawn to tinkering on the piano. More friends—Zach, Julius and Ezra—join them.

The students span a wide range of ages, from 13 to the early-30s, but they have all come to feel cared for and included in their local church community through Ohana, which empowers them as persons with disabilities (PWDs) to participate meaningfully in the church.

How Ohana began

This special ministry that caters to the different needs of PWDs started in 2013 as

April 2024 — Methodist Message 13
Feature
Photos courtesy of Brendan Loon, Eden Lok and Sengkang Methodist Church

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family

a class within the Children's Ministry. In 2016, by God's grace and word-of-mouth testimonies, the class grew. By 2018, the students in the class had outgrown the age range of the Children's Ministry. Hence, there was a need to establish Ohana as a standalone ministry. Since then, Ohana has expanded beyond its Sunday school class to explore social and recreational activities for its members as they grow into adolescence and young adulthood, as well as to provide a platform for caregivers to pray for and support one another in fellowship.

From the beginning, the vision of Ohana has always been based on the gospel episode of Jesus healing the paralysed man who had been brought by the man's friends (Mark 2; Luke 5). They worked together to overcome physical and social barriers like the roof and the crowd, so that the paralysed man could encounter Christ. Such an experience would

have been transformative not only for him, but for his friends too.

"Disability awareness and inclusion is a journey we all take, both personally and as a church community. Disability ministry is not about offering charity; it is about ensuring that everyone, regardless of ability, can encounter Jesus Christ, nurture their faith and feel included. It is crucial not to isolate it as a separate ministry, but to take an individualised approach to intentionally integrate each person with disability meaningfully into church life. Ultimately, we need to remember that the greatest need in special needs is the same as for everyone. It is the need for the life-changing Gospel of Jesus Christ," said Dominique Phang, who leads the ministry and is also the vice-chairperson of the Local Church Executive Committee at SKMC.

14 Methodist Message — April 2024
Ohana Ministry members and volunteers leading worship on Ohana Sunday

Where possible, Ohana champions an integrated approach—today, about seven to ten per cent of members belonging to agelevel ministries (Children's Ministry, Youth Ministry etc.) are PWDs. Only PWDs who face more difficulty in integrating within their age-level ministries join Ohana's Sunday school class. Even with this pull-out programme, the eventual goal is for PWDs' age-level peers to join as buddies to develop friendships with them. However, leaders are aware this will be a challenge given the trend of youth and young adult congregants leaving their local church communities.

Building a home

For Mary and Anthony, and Melissa and Samson, their journeys of finding a home in Sengkang and a church family in SKMC have been transformative for their faith. Both couples were brought by God's divine intervention into the Sengkang neighbourhood, and only thereafter did they find out about Ohana. Seeing how God brought them to SKMC led them to give thanks to him for preparing such a place for them and their children, who have special needs.

Both couples, as well as Cindy and Yew Hock, have seen how their children's experience in church has improved. They also serve as volunteers in Ohana. "In SKMC, church members may find it easier to accept those with special needs because it is made known to them through Ohana," Cindy explains. "Even when some PWDs make noise or behave differently, they will understand. In other churches, there might be less understanding or more fear about how to manage such situations."

Even these parents of PWDs accept and continue to learn just how different other

PWDs are from their own children as they serve. "It is not just about empathy, compassion and patience, but also about building different skills, which takes a lot of deliberate effort and hard work," Melissa observes. "It is important to be intentional—not just incidental—about giving PWDs the support they need, so that they are not neglected."

"We have been encouraged to see a few more members of the congregation stepping forward to invest their time to be buddies to Ohana members," notes Samson. "It is not easy for buddies too, who need to stay calm when a PWD is having a meltdown. But we all have our good days and bad days, whether we are PWDs or not."

The Ohana team has also seen days when nothing much goes according to plan. Through reflecting on these experiences, they have grown the ministry into what it is today. Now, buddies pre-emptively offer students earmuffs to reduce auditory overstimulation and provide psychological assurance, especially since there are other students who produce vocal stimulations. Through trial and error, the team has gotten better at planning for lessons that leverage

April 2024 — Methodist Message 15
A volunteer guides an Ohana member (in purple) on how to sell food at Ohana Sunday carnival

ACS (International)

ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)

Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides

• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education

• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage

• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8 7 : 1

• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups

• Over 200 formal student leadership positions

• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP

• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP

• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years

• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years

• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore

• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities

• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.

16 Methodist Message — April 2024
Senior Leadership Team Mr Gavin Kinch Principal Mrs Tan Siew Hoon Vice-Principal Dr Kristopher Achter Vice-Principal Mr Christopher Hayward Vice-Principal
For more information, please contact Joseph Ng or Serene Lim at +65 6472 1477 or admissions@acsinternational.edu.sg
Achievements include

differentiated instruction, accommodating both group instruction and one-to-one teaching concurrently.

While there will always be room for improvement, the Ohana team celebrates SKMC's church-wide awareness and emphasis on accommodating different needs. Training was conducted at the various levels of church leadership to develop a stronger understanding of how to include PWDs into the whole church family. This has prompted other ministries of the church to learn how best to integrate PWDs within their plans and programmes.

The annual Ohana Sunday The Ohana ministry even coordinates with the Worship & Music Ministry to organise Ohana Sunday—SKMC's annual disability awareness Sunday—in October, in partnership with other stakeholders like the autism-friendly Chapel of Christ Our Hope. Its timing is meant to coincide with the national Purple Parade movement for disability awareness. Ohana members are involved in various parts of the service on Ohana Sunday, such as leading worship with the worship team and reading the Scripture passages. Ohana Sunday thus serves as a time for the church to celebrate the gifts PWDs have received from God,

and to renew its commitment of care and inclusion for all of God's people.

Even as the Ohana Ministry gives thanks for God's many blessings over its 11-year journey, the team knows that the work is not done. Individuals with more invisible disabilities can look quite like everyone else, with only their behaviour setting them apart. Others may therefore form judgments about them being ill-disciplined or having bad upbringing. The team aspires toward a future where people understand, empathise with, and extend grace to such individuals. This would encourage more people to step forward to serve as buddies to PWDs and to befriend them.

When asked what advice they would give to other churches keen to care for and include PWDs more intentionally as members of the local church community, the Ohana team had the following to say:

"Find people in the church who are willing to help and spend the time," Yew Hock said. "After all, nobody really knows what to do, but it is through experience and from doing that you will learn what to do. We do not set any entry criteria on what training you need to have, because it is most important that you have the right heart of service and of worship."

To find out more about the Ohana Ministry at Sengkang Methodist Church, Scan the QR code or visit https://skmc.org.sg/getinvolved/special-needsministry-ohana/

Ohana: Nobody gets left behind or forgotten in God's family
April 2024 — Methodist Message 17
Visual cues are used to guide the class on the activities and class rules

Methodist Social Principles

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good. But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible. How then can we apply its principles to our lives? This essay is from a 9-part series of reflections on the Methodist Social Principles, which will help all Christians live by God’s principles in today’s complex world.

/ Part 1 of 9 /

Why do Methodists focus on Social Principles?

The answer is summarised in the opening section of our Social Principles. "Christian social responsibility is rooted in the teachings of the Bible and guided by Christian tradition."

In this overview, I shall comment briefly on the teachings of the Bible and Christian (Methodist) tradition.

Firstly, Bible verses like Ephesians 2:10 (NRSV) fire our passion for social work and social concerns: "For we are what he has made us, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand to be our way of life."

The Bible says that God has made or created us for a clear purpose in life: for good works. Doing good works in Christ Jesus for our world and neighbourhood is the great commission, given to us by God. This is not a theory of earning salvation by doing good works. The two preceding verses make clear that "it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9 NIV).

We are not saved by, but we have been created for, good works.

Romans 8:28 (RSV) reinforces the same point: " We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose."

Feature
18 Methodist Message — April 2024
Source: Unsplash.com/@eutahm

The better-known English translation "God works for the good of those who love him" (NIV) obscures the emphasis of the Greek verb which is "to work" or, more literally, "to synergise" with someone rather than for someone. 1 The God of the Bible works "with" those who love him, and God is working with us "for good"

Our Social Principles inspire us to work with God to do whatever good we can in the different spheres of life in today's world.

Secondly, to do whatever good we can introduces a traditional paraphrase attributed to John Wesley, the founder of Methodism.

Do all the good you can, By all the means you can

In all the ways you can

To all the people you can, As long as ever you can.

In a sermon titled "On Zeal", Wesley said that Christian disciples ought to be zealous in doing both "works of piety" and "works of mercy". By "works of piety", Wesley meant the spiritual disciplines of Bible reading, prayer and Christian worship. "Works of mercy" referred to acts of charity and compassion for the distressed in society, or what The Methodist Church today refers to as Social Concerns. John Wesley regarded "works of mercy" (social concerns or doing good for your neighbour and community) as the most important mark or characteristic of Christian godliness. Whilst "works of piety"—prayer, Bible reading, fasting and Sunday worship—were important, Wesley said that godly persons should be "more zealous for works of mercy." And, should there be occasion where "one interferes with the other, works of mercy are to be preferred. Even reading, hearing, prayer

are to be omitted, or to be postponed, at charity's almighty call; when we are called to relieve the distress of our neighbour, whether in body or soul." 2

To "relieve the distress of our neighbour, whether in body or soul" is what Methodists refer to as our social principle and social concern. Our Social Principles currently list eight spheres of modern life in which we encourage one another to do all the social good that we can.

 The Family

 Economics

 Politics

 Community Life

 The Internet, Sciences and Technologies

 Social Well-being

 Creation Care

 The Church

In these and all spheres of life, "in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good."

Scan the QR code or visit the link below to watch the videos on the Methodist Social Principles. https://www.methodist.org.sg/resources/ social-principles/

1 The NIV translators did, however, add an alternative translation in their footnotes which, in my opinion, is the correct emphasis: in all things God works together with those who love him to bring about what is good.

2 http://wesley.nnu.edu/john-wesley/the-sermons-ofjohn-wesley-1872-edition/sermon-92-on-zeal/

April 2024 — Methodist Message 19

Seeing the disabled in God's image

In the past few decades, a number of churches across the different denominations have issued official statements calling their congregations to be places of inclusion and belonging, especially for people with disabilities. For example, the Evangelical Lutheran Church of America, in a statement published in 2011, reminds its member churches that:

Congregations gathered around word and sacrament bear crucial

responsibilities in the life of this church as centres for evangelical mission with doors open to all, including those living with physical, sensory, intellectual, mental and developmental disabilities. 1

These statements echo the commands found in Scripture to welcome the stranger (Matthew 25), include the marginalised and forgotten (Luke 14) and affirm the image of God in every person (Genesis 1).

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.
Soundings
20 Methodist Message — April 2024

However, as a number of Christian authors have noted, this call has not been received with enthusiasm in many churches. As Erik Carter of Vanderbilt University observes: "Although a growing number of churches are widening their welcome, far too many individuals with disabilities still experience wounding or rejection at the doorsteps of their parish." 2

The Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace has described the Church elegantly as a "minister of salvation" and a "sacrament of God's love". 3 As such, the Church is called to welcome and embrace every human being— not only because they bear the image of their Creator (Genesis 1:2628), but also because Christ has died for them (John 3:16).

What does it mean for the Church to be inclusive?

According to the Christian faith, to be inclusive simply means to welcome, accept and love everyone whom God welcomes, accepts and loves. This attitude is underscored in every Scripture passage that enjoins Christians to love one another (e.g. John 13:34), that emphasises their oneness in Christ (e.g. Galatians 3:28), that exhorts Christians to stand in solidarity with those who rejoice and those who weep (e.g. Romans 12:1518), and that warns against discrimination and segregation (e.g. James 2:1-4). Only

when the Church understands what true inclusion entails and puts it to practice will its members with disabilities feel truly welcomed and "at home". Only then will these members have a sense that they truly belong.

Scholars tell us that true belonging is a complex phenomenon which can only be experienced when people with disabilities are present, invited, welcomed, known, accepted, supported, cared for, befriended, needed and loved. 4

The experience of belonging is so profoundly rooted in human relationality and community that it can never be fostered by programmes and activities. For Christians with disabilities and special needs to really experience a sense of belonging in a particular congregation, there must be a radical change of mindset in its members and a deliberate effort to create a distinct ecclesial culture.

Christians with disabilities will only feel that they truly belong in their local congregations when they sense that its members genuinely stand in solidarity with them.

To do this, stubborn notions of normality, health and disability—which drive too sharp a wedge between the so-called "normal" majority and "disabled" minority— must be challenged on the basis of the gospel and the teachings of Scripture.

April 2024 — Methodist Message 21

For the truth remains that according to the Christian doctrine of the primordial Fall and its dire consequences, we are all dis-eased, dis-abled, and thus in need of healing (salvation).

As theologian Jürgen Moltmann has put it so eloquently and arrestingly:

[there] is no differentiation between the healthy and those with disabilities. For every human life has its limitations, vulnerabilities, and weaknesses. We are born needy, and we die helpless. So in truth there is no such thing as life without disabilities. 5

We also need to rediscover what the Bible teaches about the Body of Christ, especially the emphasis on the interdependency of all its members, and the indispensability of its weaker members (1 Corinthians 12).

Very often, our approach to our brothers and sisters with disabilities is one-sided. We think only in terms of how we can minister to them and care for them. While this is of course important, we need to also acknowledge that they in turn can enrich the community by their presence and gifts. Erik Carter explains:

Individuals with disabilities and their families also are central to the flourishing of faith communities. Like anyone else, they bring gifts, talents, and passions that are needed by others in their parish. Their testimonies and personal stories can positively contribute to the faith formation of fellow believers. Their life experiences and diverse perspectives can help broaden views

of what it means to live faithfully in the world. Their friendships can bring life to people whom they encounter. And the avenues through which they serve can meet the needs of others in their midst. Indeed, churches are incomplete without the presence and participation of individuals with disabilities and their families. 6

By welcoming, accepting and loving our brothers and sisters with disabilities as God does, we ourselves will grow in our appreciation of what it means to belong to Christ's Body.

1 Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, 'A Message on People Living with Disabilities', Published by Theological Discernment, Office of the Presiding Bishop, Evangelical Luther Church in America, 2011. https://download.elca.org/ ELCA%20Resource%20Repository/People_with_ DisabilitiesSM.pdf.

2 Erik Carter, 'The Absence of Asterisks: The Inclusive Church and Children with Disabilities', Journal of Catholic Education, Volume 23 (2), 169.

3 Pontifical Council for Justice and Peace, 'The Human Person and Human Rights', In Compendium of the Social Doctrine of the Church (Washington: United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Publishing, 2004), 27.

4 See, for example, E.W. Carter, T.L. Boehm, N.H. Annandale & C.E. Taylor, 'Supporting congregational inclusion for children and youth with disabilities and their families', Exceptional Children 82(3), 372389.

5 Jürgen Moltmann, 'Liberate Yourselves by Accepting One Another', in Nancy L. Eiesland & Don E. Saliers (ed), Human Disability and the Service of God: Reassessing Religious Practice (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1998), 110.

6 Carter, 'The Absence of Asterisks', 169.

Seeing the disabled in God's image
22 Methodist Message — April 2024

Parenting a child with disabilities

Like countless young girls, Steph Low dreamed of marriage, children and a blissful family life. During her twenties, she thought she had the life she envisioned … until things took an unexpected turn with the arrival of her second child, Xavier.

Xavier was diagnosed with mild autism, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and epilepsy. Steph recalled how different Xavier was from other kids.

"At nine months, we observed Xavier struggling to sit up, unlike other children his age. The doctor diagnosed him with developmental delay. His first word, 'Mama', came after a long wait, leading us to initially believe it was a speech delay until we learnt he had special needs," Steph, 49, explained.

Then came the seizures. Xavier's seizures began at the tender age of 18 months old, with hospital visits getting more frequent as his condition worsened over time.

Taking toll

In 2011, Xavier suffered a sudden seizure in school that caused him to fall and sustain a hairline fracture in his skull. Worried about his safety, Steph decided to withdraw him from school and care for him full-time.

"It was an incredibly challenging time for my family. My husband and I lost our jobs. We had to borrow money to cover Xavier's medical fees and our living expenses," Steph recalled.

Young Xavier

Unknowingly, Steph devoted so much of herself to caring for Xavier that she inadvertently neglected her two daughters, now 24 and 11.

"I was under immense
By the MWS Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of MWS
April 2024 — Methodist Message 23
Xavier and MWS staff

Parenting a child with disabilities

emotional stress trying to manage Xavier's condition, and that had the biggest impact on my eldest daughter. I sent her to live with my mother for six years, but she felt abandoned, like I had chosen Xavier over her," shared Steph. To this day, the weight of her past neglect continues to cast a long shadow over their family dynamics.

For two decades, Steph had been Xavier's primary caregiver, juggling this responsibility with work and other family commitments.

Then in February 2023, after Xavier's discharge from the ICU for a severe lung infection, Steph found herself struggling to care for him at home as he became bed-bound and required tube-feeding and maximum assistance in daily living.

"I couldn't manage Xavier on my own. He kept pulling out his feeding tube, and I didn't have the strength to reinsert it myself. Relying on clinic staff wasn't sustainable due to the charges," explained Steph. "Also, my son was growing taller, and I couldn't hold him for extended periods."

It was then that Steph decided to seek help. Today, Xavier receives round-theclock care by a multi-disciplinary team in a safe environment at MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang.

A new lease of life

In the Nursing Home, Xavier, now 22, takes part in activities such as music therapy and games to improve his social and physical well-being.

"Seeing Xavier being engaged meaningfully and taken care of, I feel a sense of relief and can now focus on my other children. I can now help my youngest daughter with homework and volunteer at her school," shared Steph. "I can also concentrate better at work, and feel less stressed."

Financially, Steph's household income only allows the family to support themselves and their two schooling daughters. They have no other income to pay for Xavier's nursing fees. Hence, the family is very grateful for Wesley Methodist Church's sponsorship, which has greatly eased their financial strain.

"As a full-time caregiver, I had to make sacrifices that brought numerous challenges to my family," said Steph. "With MWS' help, I can now focus on securing a better future for my family."

WITH JUST $1 A DAY, YOU CAN HELP SOMEONE GET OUT OF THE POVERTY CYCLE

According to a 2020 study*, 1 in 8 households in Singapore cannot cover their basic living needs. Many families, like Steph's, face complex challenges that perpetuate a cycle of poverty. These include financial distress, fractured relationships and health issues. They require ongoing support and holistic interventions to break free from this cycle. Your gift of $1 a day can empower these families to make gradual progress towards a brighter future.

Scan the QR Code to donate.

* Definitions and Measurements of Poverty 2020, Irene Y.H Ng, Dept of Social Work (NUS, 2020)

Xavier (in bed), Steph and Xavier's younger sister
24 Methodist Message — April 2024

You and Your Family

Letting go and moving on with time

Irecently learnt of a rather clever and useful cosmetic item called a concealer. It is used to hide skin discolouration, blemishes or creases. I saw a demonstration of its effectiveness by someone near and dear to me and was amazed by how it appeared to erase flaws. I should add here, before my enthusiasm gets the better of me, that the concealer, rather than eliminating blemishes, helped cover them up for a time.

Unlike concealers and skin blemishes, some of our mistakes are not as easily erased nor the broken relationships in our lives as easily mended.

The usual process to repair broken relationships, especially when one is responsible for causing hurt or making a mistake, is to admit the wrong and apologise. The hope is that the hurt party will accept the apology and wipe the slate clean. Sometimes, the offending party may offer

some form of restitution. For example, they may pay for or replace a lost or broken item even though it may be but a token of the loss, especially when the item holds high sentimental value.

Sometimes, restitution is not possible when no financial amount can be adequately attached to it, e.g. when trust is betrayed or when one is wrongly maligned. The hurt party, when confronted with efforts to mend broken ties, may wonder if it is in their interest to maintain the estrangement or to restore contact.

I have seen situations when the wronged party is utterly consumed by their hurt and anger. It is as if, like in Shakespeare’s The Merchant of Venice , they become the cruel moneylender who demands a pound of flesh as payment for the debt. Ironically, holding on to pain and anger harms the hurt party again and again. There is no

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.
April 2024 — Methodist Message 25

Letting go and moving on with time

release until one decides to let go of the hurt and anger and move on.

Moving on from a hurt is often complicated by the passage of time. It may have happened so long ago that few can remember exactly the circumstances that precipitated it. In some cases, the events when recalled and viewed through the lens of time may seem rather mundane. It may have been a misunderstanding that got compounded by a faux pas and followed by the negative reciprocity of withdrawal and criticism. After some time, no one can recall exactly how or by whom it all started.

Time may provide emotional distance that helps break the cycle of memory, withdrawal and anger. Perhaps, as the years go by, we are not only more distant from the hurtful events but also closer to the end of our lives. The shortness of time we realise

we have left may cause us to value what we have more than what we lost.

Finally, peace-making between strained parties may be initiated by others rather than by the main protagonists themselves. I have observed concerned family members and friends attempting to broker a mending of ties. In one instance, cousins initiate meetings of their respective families and do what their parents had perhaps tried but failed to do. Sometimes, shared events like weddings may present the opportunity for parties with strained relationships to meet.

When the relationships are mended, we sometimes wonder what all the fuss was about that caused the split. Or even when there was a valid cause before, its emotional sting is no longer so potent. Perhaps, time is the ultimate eraser of hurts in relationships, having an effect that is longer lasting.

400 Commonwealth Drive Faith Methodist Church Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church (Level 5) Open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays) Tel : 6479 8122 | HP : 9670 9935 Fax: 6479 6960 Email: gepc400@gmail.com For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment. REGISTER AT OUR COLUMBARIUM OFFICE • Located next to Commonwealth MRT Station • 99-year lease commencing from 1964 • Clean and peaceful environment • Transfer of urns or exhumation can be arranged OPEN TO ALL CHRISTIANS Single and double niches are available with the following donations: Eternal Peace THE AIR-CONDITIONED COLUMBARIUM GARDEN OF Open daily: 8am-8pm | Public Holidays: 9am-2pm TIERS SINGLE DOUBLE 1 or 7 $2400 $4200 2 or 6 $3100 $5800 3 to 5 $4000 $7200

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 17 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Friendships

Rev Tay Li Ping is currently pastoring at Christalite Methodist Chapel. Trained as an Industrial-Organisational Psychologist before becoming a pastor, Rev Tay is particularly interested in the intersection of Psychology and Theology. She is married and has five sons.

Koh Ai Jin is a registered clinical counsellor with extensive experience in marriage and family counselling, mental health concerns and psychological trauma. She runs her own practice and currently serves as Vice-President of the Association of Christian Counsellors (Singapore).

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

What is the Christian view on seeking the help of temple mediums?

I've seen some friends who are non-believers fall sick and go to the temple to seek the advice of other gods (e.g. god of the tiger) about their sickness. The medium will talk in a way that is not his usual self and appear as if someone has entered his body.

What is the Christian view on this?

Is there really a god that can enter a person's body and give advice?

 Apple

Li

It is not my place to comment on the practices of other religions, but I can give a perspective of similar practices that have been forbidden for believers.

The practice you described is a form of divination, which is an attempt to gain supernatural knowledge, either to understand why something has happened, or to predict the future.

Divination, when it seeks knowledge from any spirit or being other than God himself, is strictly prohibited in the Bible (e.g. Deuteronomy 18:10-14), because it draws believers away from God and dependence on him, and into dangerous contact with spiritual forces that are not aligned with God.

Ping says Dear Apple,
April 2024 — Methodist Message 27

Acts 16:16 lists one such example where a female slave was able to divine the future due to her possession of a spirit. After Paul cast out the spirit in the name of Jesus, she lost her power of divination, showing that it was tied to that spirit. There is indeed a spiritual world that is populated with spirits who serve God, and those who do not. Revelation 12:7-9 speaks about how that came to be.

God desires that we go to him alone for wisdom, assurance, and healing, and we can do so through prayer (Matthew 7:7-8), through his Word (Psalm 119:105), and the wise counsel of fellow, mature believers (James 5:14-16).

Friendships

I get pushback when I tell my friend that she has hurt my feelings

When I express that I am hurt by what my friend says or does, she usually denies it and instead says I'm accusing her or that I'm being abusive. But I'm just expressing how I feel. How do I handle this?  Lily

Ai Jin says Dear Lily,

There is nothing wrong with sharing your feelings. When you express your feelings to your friend, you simply want her to know how you’ve been hurt. What you hope for is that she would respond with empathy and see it from your point of view, so as not to do or say things to hurt you again. Unfortunately, your friend seems unwilling to listen and is defensive. You cannot control how your friend reacts and so if she refuses to acknowledge how her actions have hurt you, do seek out other friends who can provide you with support and understanding.

Dating & Marriage My wife has a hoarding habit

My wife has a habit of shopping and accumulating things. Our home has become so cluttered that when guests come, they have nowhere to sit because there are things everywhere and I must physically shift items to make space. I am too embarrassed to invite family or friends over. I have spoken to her many times to change her habit of online shopping and buying things even though the items she buys are educational such as books or good toys for my young children. We are financially very comfortable so there is nothing to curb her shopping habit. We have given some items away but she then acquires other things and we are back to square one. Is a hoarding habit something serious or is it just a personality thing? I do not want to pick a fight with her because she is overall a good mother and wife and God-fearing.

 Too much stuff

At The Well 28 Methodist Message — April 2024

Benny says

Dear Too much stuff,

The accumulation of things in excess is something associated with our modern times. In the past, people were living with meagre resources and there was less acquiring of things that were of little practical value. With increased means, many of us have gone beyond just getting what we need but what we want, desire or feel that we must possess.

The hoarder not only acquires and collects multiple sets of the same item but has difficulty getting rid of them. The amassed items begin to get the better of its owner and spill over and occupy one’s home and life. In extreme cases, when common spaces like sleeping and dining areas are filled, sometimes from floor to ceiling, it is deemed as a mental disorder. The hoarder loses control of their behaviour,

cannot deal with this obsession rationally and argues with those around them over this issue. To deal with this problem, you and others can consider the following:

1) Talk with your wife and get her to agree to regularly clear out items. It may begin with removing a bag or two once a week and then every other day. Work with her on this as it may be difficult for her to let go. If the items were bought for the children, get them to help decide which is no longer needed and therefore to be given away or discarded. Do not be discouraged if your efforts are met with some resistance. Some clients have been seen retrieving items at the rubbish bin after throwing them away. But keep at it.

2) Identify undiagnosed anxieties and address these directly. In one case, an elderly widowed woman was concerned about her dwindling financial savings and in another it was her loss of social contact and loneliness.

3) In helping your wife with this issue, do not make it your sole preoccupation or point of contact with her. Involve her in other pursuits such as care of others (such as grandparents, nephews or nieces), attending fellowship groups, doing voluntary work, etc. Meaningful engagements in these new activities may then compete for the precious time and energy in her life.

4) Last but not least, pray. Ask God to free her from this obsession and its related anxieties. Pray for love and patience to see her through this phase.

April 2024 — Methodist Message 29

Walking alongside you with compassion and care ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

LTD

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD Romans 8:38–39

A man speaking in sign language

Source: Shutterstock

When prayer for healing is not what is needed

In the book My Body Is Not A Prayer Request: Disability Justice In The Church , author Dr Amy Kenny writes, "Disability acts as a method for revealing the living God to the community, not something that always needs to be prayed away to showcase God's power."

The differently abled do not exist only as broken bodies to be prayed over. There is nothing more disempowering than being told that your condition is a sign of insufficient faith. While the Bible contains many instances of miraculous healings, the narrative of healing is not the only narrative that exists.

What happens to those of us that live in bodies considered less than society's ideal? To those who may have prayed for healing and yet not experienced it?

How should we pray for the differently abled among us in a more sensitive way? There

are figures in the Bible who dealt with what we would categorise as disabilities or mental illnesses, and though they were not cured of their conditions, they still went on to do God's work.

Let us pray for a spirit of patience and compassion, so we can better empathise with people who live differently from us. Let us pray for an open mind, that we can see how others do things differently from us. Let us pray for the right opportunities, that those with special needs can be directed to the right places where they can thrive.

In this world, we are all grappling with our own challenges, and it is very unlikely that all our problems and ailments will be healed in our lifetimes. It is only when we enter God's kingdom that we will all receive perfect bodies. Till then, we should all strive to embody the same love and compassion towards others that God demonstrates towards us.

Kathryn Cheng is an Assistant Programme Executive at the Methodist School of Music, Worship and Music Department. She is a member of Foochow Methodist Church.
Worship
April 2024 — Methodist Message 31
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Dr Amutha Premkumar worships at Ang Mo Kio Tamil Methodist Church and serves as Chairperson in the Discipleship and Nurture Ministry. / Photo courtesy of Dr Amutha Premkumar

I am the Potter's clay

I came to know God during high school and entered a deeper relationship with the Lord after marriage. As I look back at my journey with God over the years, I can see two parallel activities—God's work in me and his work in the field where he was going to place me.

God groomed me from being an observer to be a co-worker along with my husband in the evangelism ministry among university students. He then let me take independent baby steps as a teacher in Sunday school. This was followed by the call to lead the Women's Society of Christian Service (WSCS) at my church, which seemed too big a role for me. But his grace was more than sufficient, giving me direction, resources and strength for the work.

Although I have since embarked on the Discipleship and Nurture ministry, my work among the women continues, in particular with the Fellowship of Indian Sisters (FIS), a ministry that reaches out to migrant workers in Singapore.

Kopi kakis

I can see how God took me—a shapeless and useless lump of clay—and moulded me into a vessel useful for him in different areas. Spiritual pruning took place along the way while he held me through those difficult teaching moments.

God is already at work around us and he puts the one he has prepared in the right place at the right time to fill every gap in his kingdom. Knowing this makes me believe and accept that "[his] yoke is easy, and [his] burden is light " (Matthew 11:30).

by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

MOVING IN THE SPIRIT

8, 15, 22 & 29 April 2024 (Mondays), 9.30 a.m. – 12.30 p.m.

Fairfield Methodist Church, Kuehn Hall, S088437 Register via http://tinyurl.com/SFS-MITS or WhatsApp 8023 1740

$20 (includes materials and refreshments)

The topics to be covered in this series include:

 Understanding the Spiritual Being

 Worshipping in the Spirit

 Praying in the Spirit

 Building the inner man

This series is facilitated by Rev Irene Thung, a retired pastor of The Methodist Church in Singapore.

Organised by TRAC BOSM School for Seniors

THE CHURCH THAT LISTENS: COUNSELLING ESSENTIALS FOR MINISTRY

13, 20 & 27 April 2024 (Saturdays), 8.30 a.m. – 1.00 p.m.

Trinity Theological College, 490 Upper Bukit Timah Road, S678093 Register via www.ttc.edu.sg/english/EQUIPinfo

$150

Designed to equip church members with the skills and knowledge they need to provide counselling support to others in their community, participants will learn the basics of counselling, including how to build rapport, listen effectively and respond in a helpful and supportive way. They will also practise their skills in a safe and supportive environment. Class size is limited to 30 participants as course activities involve movement, practical observations and art.

The speaker, Gary Koh, is a family counsellor who has spent the past 24 years working with couples, parents and youth. He has served as a full-time minister and previously headed a team of counsellors at a local school. He speaks regularly at community events, churches and schools on family, marriage and issues pertaining to sexuality and mental health. Gary serves as family and missions pastor at Bethesda Bedok Tampines Church.

Organised by EQUIP

THEOLOGY OF MARRIAGE, SINGLENESS, OFFSPRING AND FAMILY

14 – 15 and 17 – 18 June 2024 (Fri & Sat, Mon & Tue), 9.00 a.m. – 5.00 p.m.

Online via Zoom

Details and registration via https://courses.bgst.edu.sg/courses/

$600

This course explores theological dimensions and engages contemporary theological questions and challenges around the definition and purpose of marriage, the purpose, place and validity of singleness, issues related to sexuality and identity, biblical visions for biological and spiritual family and perspectives of divorce and remarriage.

Offered in partnership with Seminari Theoloji Malaysia (STM), this course will be focusing on developing a compelling biblical-theological worldview for engaging challenges on marriage and family faced by pastors and Christian leaders today.

Dr Barry N Danylak, the Adjunct Professor of Theology at Rocky Mountain College in Calgary, is the instructor for this course.

Organised by BGST

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