Methodist Message is the official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore . Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.
3 Choe Peng Sum: "His ways are better than our ways"
7 The Christian's battle against addiction
10 A testimony: The miracle I saw
/ Opinion /
12 Soundings: More than human
/ Young Voices /
14 Physical intimacy and Christian dating … why must it be so complicated?
/ Outreach /
17 Our cue from the benediction
19 The hiding place: Finding deliverance in God’s love
/ Relationships /
22 You & Your Family: Why it's important to "be the change"
25 At The Well
/ Worship /
30 Worship as self-care
/ People /
33 Where is my trust if I am only assured of his faithfulness in restrospect?
ERRATA
In the January 2025 issue of Methodist Message, some of the titles/positions listed in the Chinese Annual Conference 2025 appointment list contained errors.
• Rev Joseph Chen Yong Chang's title in Chinese should be 牧师, not 传道
• Rev Timothy Ang is an Associate Pastor (协理), not Assistant Pastor.
• Pr Esther Yek Yew Lik is a Preacher (传道), not Associate Pastor.
We apologise for the errors.
A holy grief
Bishop Philip Lim was elected Bishop of The Methodist Church in Singapore in 2024. Previously, he served as a missionary in Cambodia under the Methodist Missions Society (MMS), and as Executive Director of MMS from 2012 to 2018.
This year, the season of Lent starts with Ash Wednesday on 5 March. It commemorates the 40 days that Jesus spent fasting in the desert while being tempted by Satan. It is a time for believers of Jesus to reflect and prepare for the suffering and death of Jesus.
Traditionally, Lent is a period of grief for the suffering of Jesus that ends with the celebration of Easter and the resurrection of Christ. It is known by some as the season of "bright sadness"—a profound combination of sadness and joy.
Lent is marked by the emphasis on prayer, fasting, giving and the repentance of sins as we are reminded of the price Jesus paid on the cross. We are also reminded of how deeply sinful and undeserving we are and that it is only through Jesus' sacrifice and God's love, mercy and grace that we have the hope of reconciliation and eternal life.
This season invites us to see the depth of sin and brokenness in and
around us and to long for a renewed and reconciled relationship with God through Jesus. Although Lent is not a scriptural command, it is, nonetheless, a precious time for us to take time out of our full schedules to draw close to God. We are reminded that the life we have today, and the one we look forward to in eternity, did not come without a cost.
As we approach this holy season, amidst the busy-ness of the daily grind, may the Holy Spirit speak to each of us in the still, quiet moments. May we be filled with a holy grief at what Jesus had to endure because of our sins and may this grief lead to conviction in our hearts of how we should live our lives.
We also remember that at the end of these 40 days is a celebration of Jesus' victory over death. God's grand plan is not one that ends with grief and sadness, but with joy, hope, victory and celebration!
Lianne Ong is the Editor of Methodist Message. / Photos courtesy of Choe Peng Sum and
and his family
"His ways are better than our ways"
Choe Peng Sum , new ACS BOG chair and veteran hotelier, talks about the new ACS Academy and God at the workplace.
In November 2024, Choe Peng Sum assumed the role of Chairperson of Board of Governors, Anglo-Chinese School (ACS). He has worshipped at Barker Road Methodist Church for more than 50 years, serving as its lay leader and Pastor-Parish Relations and Staff Committee chairperson at different points in time. As a veteran hotelier, his name is familiar in the marketplace after more than 25 years in the hospitality industry. Currently he is the CEO of Pan Pacific Hotel Group.
In Choe's eyes, his career path and faith journey are closely intertwined. His entry into
the world of hotels came when he applied for a Shangri-La scholarship. Out of 480 applicants, he was one of two successful candidates. "At the fifth round of interviews, my cell group was outside praying for me," he said. "That I managed to get this scholarship with no relevant experience was surely the hand of God. God knew that I would enjoy running businesses, that I liked to understand how they work, so I'm grateful he set me on the right career path."
Building a different kind of school Choe became a believer through ACS. The young Choe Peng Sum had a chance
Choe
to hear the gospel because he attended ACS and joined The Boys' Brigade. "I'm from the era of the clock tower revival," he recalled.
As BOG chairperson, he will be involved in the new ACS campus at Tengah. He shares his excitement at the prospect of building a different kind of school campus, both in its architectural design and in its culture, that will allow growth and integration between two schools: "ACS Academy", the upcoming school for children with special needs and ACS (Primary) which will be colocated at the Tengah site.
Students of the two schools will be given opportunities to interact with each other naturally and intentionally—a different approach to special needs education. The campus will have mingling areas, like a "lung", so that students can interact during recess, and it will boast sports and vocational facilities that both schools will share, creating more opportunities for the students to have activities together. Seeing how the physical design of the school has direct impact on the social aspects of school life, he is amused at the parallels between school and hotel design.
Acknowledging that "Tengah" has been fractious for the ACS family, he is ready to
deal with the challenges that lie ahead. His support for the school's move to the heartlands and fulfilling its original mission has to do with the fact that his mother had queued up to register him when the ACS Primary School was at Coleman Street. "Coleman Street was not like Bukit Timah today," Choe said, alluding to the fact that the school was open to all and his life would have been vastly different otherwise.
On having a co-ed ACS and admitting girls to a traditionally all-boys school, he said educators he has spoken to support the idea wholeheartedly. "I think we should just embrace it and move on. ACS boys who have daughters would benefit from this coed school," he said.
"It's not going to be easy, but we have wonderful opportunities at Tengah. What I would like to do is bring everyone together and move forward," said Choe.
God at the workplace
Rallying people and "knowing your flock" is something he has spoken of before in other interviews about workplace leadership. In many articles about Choe, he is dubbed the "workplace minister", seeing his role as an office "pastor" who is known to speak of his faith openly.
(above, left) Choe at a hospitality industry event (above, right) Choe (first from left) in BB uniform marching
"It may scare you when I put it this way, but I do hear God's voice," Mr Choe says, matter-of-factly.
Rising to the top of leadership at work has not come without its struggles. At times, it is like being thrust into battlefields and being forced to make a tough, sometimes illogical, call. Above all, Choe firmly believes: "God is relevant at the workplace. His ways are better than our ways."
But aren't marketplace practices often at odds with Christian principles? At the workplace, there are turf wars, politics and badmouthing, but Choe "still think(s) it's possible to behave differently."
During the Covid-19 pandemic, hotels and airlines were the worst hit industries. As Choe struggled to keep 6,000 staff employed, he heard God tell him to "start a war room" and examined the cashflow data with a team of experts. The plan was to slash salaries of the staff around the world, starting with China, and in doing so, no one was laid off. Miraculously, the business became cashflow positive as the world emerged from the pandemic, and Choe then lobbied for all salaries to be returned to the employees.
Occasionally his decisions have caused his staff to raise their eyebrows because of the seeming ill logic. During the pandemic, one of the senior partners in China was upset and had sent a legal letter, threatening to break the relationship. Choe's team replied with an equally tough letter and organised a meeting to face each other online.
"That morning, I prayed and asked God for wisdom. And I heard God say, 'Just listen.'"
"I told my CFO to stand down the lawyers, and she was shocked. 'But we're ready to fight,' she said. If we went without our lawyers, it was akin to going to battle naked."
When the virtual meeting started, the partner turned up with his army of the best lawyers. But after 25 minutes of ranting, he suddenly stopped and asked his lawyers to leave the room.
"Frankly, I could have just called you and talked," the partner admitted.
Choe said, "I realised then if we had gone in with our lawyers, we would have started fighting because neither side would want to lose. My staff asked me, 'How did you know?' And the truth is, I didn't know, I just prayed. Sometimes what God asks you to do doesn't make sense."
That difference in his thinking comes from a constant fellowship with God, continuously seeking his wisdom. Philippians 4:6 is a verse he clings to.
Choe said, "Others will be able to see the difference in your behaviour, that you're calm, your decisions are made from a different place. God is interested in your work. For me, church starts on Monday."
In ACJC, Choe (top row, first from right) was both a student councillor and BB boy
ACS (International)
ACS (International) Singapore is a distinctive international secondary school open to all Singaporeans & other nationalities, offering an all-round English-based education for students aged 12 to 18 years leading to the International General Certificate of Secondary Education (IGCSE) and the International Baccalaureate Diploma Programme (IBDP)
• Exceptional examination results, strong value-added achievement and an all-round holistic education
• 50:50 mix of local and international teachers who uphold the dual Methodist ethos and ACS heritage
• Small class sizes with overall student-teacher ratio of 8 7 : 1
• 40 different CCAs – 16 Sporting, 12 Visual and Performing Arts, 12 Special Interest Groups
• Over 200 formal student leadership positions
• Scholarships for four Singaporeans to undertake the IBDP
Building Through Belief, this school of choice provides Achievements
• Students with perfect score of 45 points in IBDP
• 23 “Top in the World” awards in IGCSE examinations over each of the past twelve years
• Students accepted to Oxford and Cambridge universities for the past eight years
• Admissions to top universities in the UK, the US, Australia and Singapore
• PSLE and GCE ‘O’ Level students obtaining outstanding value-added examination results for the IBDP and improved pathways to good universities
• Successes at national level in Athletics, Touch Rugby, Debating, Orchestra, Volleyball, Taekwondo, Ice Hockey, Fencing, Swimming, Artistic Swimming, Rhythmic Gymnastics and Wushu.
Senior Leadership Team
Mark Toh (PhD in Clinical Psychology, MA in Theology) is a clinical psychologist with over 30 years of clinical experience working with children, adults, couples, families and those in ministry. He is an associate with Promises Healthcare.
The Christian's battle against
God has given humanity the gift and mystery of life. From birth, life thrusts on us the need to survive, to overcome and mature, and to live meaningfully. Our separation from God because of the disobedience of Adam and Eve (Genesis 3) and what we have subsequently inherited complicates this challenge. Our fragile human nature is impacted by the relentless demands of living. Because of our fallen nature, it is an arduous quest to live effectively in a world that is often harsh and pernicious. We cannot avoid suffering in the process. As such, it is not helpful to view addictions primarily with judgement. Instead, it is more helpful to view addictions as an indication of how humans struggle to cope with the hardships of living with discomfort, pain or suffering. Understanding our frailty and our potential for health will also help us in our understanding of this subject.
The struggles associated with living are many. Sometimes, the source of our stress or struggle is predictable, e.g. preparing for exams, illness or physical injury, difficulty getting along with others or lack of finances. Sometimes, our struggles are a more complicated tangle of different sources of pain experienced at the same time, e.g. trying to overcome depression while living within an unhealthy family, living with the effects of parental neglect and abandonment as a child and now trying to parent one's own children as an adult. Suffering also shows up when children are born with congenital defects, when unexpected accidents take the life of loved ones and natural disasters cause damage to property and personal injuries. Every disaster or hardship entails human suffering. So how do the sufferers cope?
What is an addiction?
Addictions are a dependency that reveals our deep emotional struggles with the difficult demands of living, demands that are often chronic. Addictions show up as a routine engagement in a series of behaviours, the most common being compulsive overeating, porn, sex, gaming and gambling, as well as substance-abuse, such as drugs or alcohol. Such activities are compulsively sought with the intention to bring relief to physical or emotional pain or discomfort, either by way of stimulant or arousal (e.g. a search for dopamine highs or endorphins) or to numb the pain or discomfort. There is reason for serious concern when the control it asserts over an individual's life reveals the extent of the dependency, as when it creates damage in other areas of life, e.g. alcohol addiction leading to job termination, divorce or domestic violence.
How do we keep our children safe from addictions?
The most important support for our children is prevention . We must recognise their vulnerability to addiction especially with today's mesmerising digital tools. The internet offers children ready access to stimulation, entertainment and an easy mental escape when life becomes difficult.
Excessive criticism, harsh discipline, neglect, bullying and abuse (physical, sexual, emotional) are all likely to cause hurt or emotional injury to a child. Given the prevalence of authoritarian and neglectful parenting in Singapore1 , many children often feel overly controlled and criticised, or are left to fend for themselves while living under constant stress. Consequently, many feel neglected, bored, lonely, unloved, rejected, inadequate or defective, and suffer from depression, anxiety and stress. 2 Under these pressures,
many youths are searching to escape or seek companionship through internet gaming or entertainment, making them vulnerable to addiction.
With this understanding, we must help our children build buffers against addictions. Establishing close relationships with them with a focus on learning responsibility in their growing autonomy is essential to developing self-efficacy and, eventually, resilience. This requires spending time with them to nurture bonding and social development, along with setting limits to their screen engagement. With a close relationship, a child may inform their parents of unmet needs, threats or emotional difficulties. Children without safe or trusting relationships with their parents are less likely to turn to them for help.
What if a child has fallen into an addictive behaviour? When their addictive behaviour is serious—when the dependency persists despite the negative consequences, and impairs their academic, social and physical functioning (e.g. neglect of schoolwork, increased withdrawal from friends and family, inadequate sleep)—professional help should be considered quickly. Not addressing the addictive behaviour and the reasons behind it can cause a child to develop avoidance, or hide from the sources of their distress or discomfort. This avoidance is a dependency which can follow them into adulthood.
Helping a spouse who has an addiction
If one's spouse is addicted, consider professional help quickly. Because of its disruptive and often pervasive hold on a person's life over a period of years, the addict needs support and treatment. When treatment begins, recovery from addiction can be a roller-coaster ride.
Depending on the type of addiction, there may be a period of detox at the beginning of treatment. Because of what can be an unfolding battle for the addicted spouse, one must be prepared to be drawn into the battle as well. Actions to consider include:
Seek professional help. An addiction is often entrenched, and recovery is unlikely to happen quickly or without resistance. It is difficult for both the addict and their spouse to tackle the problem by themselves alone.
Learn everything you can about the addiction. Parts of the addict may be revealed that the spouse did not know of, as well as the extent of their attachment to the substance or behaviour.
Be patient. The addict may have hidden their addiction for a long time. Very likely it was a huge challenge for them to address the original problem that led to dependency on maladaptive coping. Change can take a long time so patience is essential.
Have empathy. Understand that the addict is struggling and suffering on at least two levels (the source of their original pain and subsequently being stuck in their choice of coping). The struggle through dependency and recovery must be walked out by the addict.
Be determined. The journey towards healing can be arduous for everyone in the family. Determination is essential to stay the course to support the addict as they learn to wrest control back from their dependency.
Being honest is essential. Honesty and transparency are needed to chart the journey forward and support a new, healthy recovery process, and avoid enabling the addict's attempts to minimise their struggle.
Don't forget self-care. Find support, as caregiving during the addict's recovery can take a toll on the spouse's well-being. Having support is important to help carry their burden.
The addict's journey towards healthy and effective living and godliness will be marked by great struggle. God loves us in our frailty and helps us find our way forward (Philippians 2:6-8).
Jesus is the good Shepherd who sees us as his sheep (Matthew 9:36). The Holy Spirit is our helper (John 14:16). Christians and churches that heed the call to care for those struggling emotionally are engaged in ministry that is dear to the heart of God.
Raveen Chinnavan is the Captain of The Boys' Brigade Second Company based in Victoria School and sponsored by Kampong Kapor Methodist Church (KKMC). Together with his wife, he leads a LifeGroup at their home. He is also a member of the Local Church Executive Committee of KKMC. / Photo courtesy of Raveen Chinnavan
miracle
The
In January 2022, I woke up one morning to find the world a blur. When I could not read the small print on my smartphone, I thought my presbyopia must have deteriorated. Then I could not make out any of the labels and price tags at the supermarket. Frustration truly set in when I could not read any of my documents at work clearly until I enlarged their fonts.
I was already seeing an ophthalmologist for my eye issues on a regular basis before that day, but nothing had been detected that warranted immediate intervention.
Our family doctor, a GP, attributed my sudden condition to some stresses I was undergoing at the time, and the fact that I had not been sleeping well.
A testimony:
miracle I saw
Still apprehensive, I also consulted my ophthalmologist. After running some diagnostic tests, he said the back of my right eye was pale but that was unlikely to impact my vision. Nevertheless, to make sure it was not a neurological issue, he ordered a brain scan (MRI).
I underwent the first MRI on 14 January 2022. As I am claustrophobic, the experience was traumatic and I had to be sedated during the process. I was told that the MRI revealed a small growth, a meningioma, pressing on my right optical nerve.
Back in the hospital ward, the neurosurgeon to whom I was immediately referred advised me that
Raveen and his family on a holiday
the radiologist's MRI report implied there would be a complete loss of vision in my right eye unless the growth was removed. Furthermore, a delay in removing the growth might result in vision loss of possibly 50%.
I made an appointment with him to discuss a plan for brain surgery and also to see another neurosurgeon for a second opinion if I needed it.
Throughout this bewildering time, my KKMC LifeGroup members, my Pastor-in-Charge, Rev Tay Kay Leong and some close friends in whom I confided were very supportive and praying with me. My wife was also very worried and honestly, we had many sleep-deprived nights trying to come to terms with the diagnosis and impending major surgery.
Unexpectedly, the first words the neurosurgeon said at our second meeting were, "I have good news for you!" He explained that he had felt the need to see the actual scan films for himself, rather than just relying on the radiologist's report. After viewing them, he was not entirely convinced there was a growth; he thought the MRI was inconclusive. However, as my vision was still blurred, he suggested I undergo a 3T magnified scan, which is more accurate and would provide greater clarity. The scan was scheduled for two weeks later.
The night before the scan, after tossing sleeplessly for a while, I had a dream in which I saw myself waking up with a bandage on the right side of my head as if the surgery was already done.
After the scan the next day, the neurosurgeon came into my ward beaming cheerfully. "Good news! Nothing found!" He had to repeat himself as I could not believe it at first. After he left, I quickly took out my phone and texted the good news to my wife and my LifeGroup. It was not until one of them, Karen, asked about my eyesight that I suddenly realised I was reading my phone texts clearly. Incredulous, I walked around the ward to search for signs and labels, and found I could read them too! My heart was joyful as I praised God for his miracle.
My wife told me that listening to the song "Turn Your Eyes upon Jesus" the day before my scan encouraged her to trust in Jesus for my healing. As I listened to the same song on my way to work the next day, I was overwhelmed by the thought that I was blind but now I could see. But what about the people who are spiritually blind, shouldn't I help them to see by pointing them to Jesus?
Since my conversion to Christianity as a teenager, I have been praying for family and loved ones who are not yet believers. But I never had the courage to speak about Jesus to them. With the encouragement of Steven, another of my LifeGroup members, I wrote a detailed testimony of my healing and posted it to my family's chat group. My sister, a non-believer, responded, texting me that she strongly believed a miracle had happened and I was indeed a child of God. Praise God that the miracle I saw became an opportunity to witness to my family. I believe he will open more doors for me to reach out to them.
Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.
More than human
In a secular (and some might add post-Christian) culture, where the Christian vision of the future has been set aside, various imagined futures have emerged, drawing their inspiration from a scientific ethos.
One familiar example is the vision of a classless society sketched out by Karl Marx in Das Capital in 1867 which still captures the imagination of some in the West, although it has undergone several revisions. A more recent example is the Venus Project (1985), founded by Jacque Fresco, the American futurist, social engineer and industrial designer, which envisions a future where technology will replace traditional systems of politics and economics.
While these imagined utopias have to do with fashioning a different social order, the rapid and often mind-boggling advances in bio-medicine and technology have directed the attention of futurists to something even more basic. The future imaginary is now not only focused on changing society, but in augmenting human nature itself.
Some futurists and scientists are now asking: What if we could use our science and technology to accelerate human evolution? What if we can use these tools to help us achieve our fullest potential—
as individual human beings and as a species? And more boldly still, what if we can employ them to make us more than human—post-human, trans-human?
Numerous experiments are already underway to see if human lifespan and healthspan can be extended, and for how long. In fact, longevity studies have become something of a booming industry with an increasing number of start-ups, independent researchers and boutique labs.
Some of these studies are based on the transhumanist philosophy which regards human biological death as an aberration that can and must be corrected. This perspective is compellingly articulated by Max More, futurist and former CEO of the Alcor Life Extension Foundation when he asserted, "ageing and death victimises all humans", adding that it placed an unacceptable "imposition on the human race".1
Several approaches are currently being explored to try to surmount human limitations and possibly achieve immortality.
The first approach is associated with the English biomedical gerontologist, Aubrey de Grey, who believes that living for 150 or 200 years would soon become routine. De Grey's research involves tinkering with the length of
the telomeres and staving off degenerative mutations in cellular replication and rejuvenation in order to increase the lifespan of humans. Winning the war against ageing and death, he asserts, is simply a matter of efficient engineering. 2
Another approach is to explore the possibilities presented by developments in nanotechnology, synthetic biology and robotics to create a bionic human being that is not subjected to current limitations imposed by biology. For example, synthetic blood vessels, skin and muscles can replace their flimsy and short-lived natural counterparts. And nanorobots can course through the human body to detect and repair damaged vessels and organs.
The third approach is perhaps the most fantastical, and it is associated with visionary leaders in the fields of artificial intelligence and robotics such as Ray Kurzweil and Hans Moravec. They think that it is possible to upload the information in the human brain onto a computer attached to a robotic substrate to ensure the individual's posthuman existence and "immortality". 3
What would be an appropriate Christian response to all of this?
The Christian must recognise that the scientific knowledge that we are able to uncover and the technologies that we create are made possible by the providential grace of God. Christians must therefore support the scientific community and their work, and give thanks to God for every new discovery that has the potential to alleviate suffering, cure diseases and serve the common good.
That said, the quest to be more than human and to achieve "immortality" through science and technology is something quite different and deeply troubling.
Such a quest betrays the basic dissatisfaction with the kind of creatures God has made us to be. To put this differently, the allconsuming and even fanatical desire to go beyond our given nature reveals a sinful revolt against creaturely finitude.
Furthermore, the belief that humans can use their own technologies to transform themselves into something beyond human—beings with enhanced abilities and the potential for everlasting life—is an extraordinary display of hubris. It unveils the desire of human beings to be their own creators and therefore to replace God himself.
This propensity—at once dark and perverse— is as old as humanity itself, and can be traced to the original humans in the Garden of Eden. The primordial sin of Adam and Eve is precisely their refusal to accept their finitude and the limitations associated with it, and their attempt to be like God (cf. Genesis 3:5).
And this is precisely why death is such an apt punishment for such sin.
As theologian Wolfhart Pannenberg explains:
Precisely for this reason they are riveted to their finitude, and this takes place through death. The distinction between finitude and death may be seen here in the fact that it is precisely the sinner's nonacceptance of their finitude that delivers them up to death.4
Or as another theologian, Helmut Thielicke, puts it: "Death is a limit … set to those who want to be without limits." 5
2 Aubrey de Grey, ed., Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence: Why Genuine Control of Aging May be Foreseeable, Annals of the New York Academy of Science 1019. New York Academy of Science, June 2004.
3 For a more detailed discussion of this theory, see Roland Chia, “Digital Immortality? Mind Uploading and the Quest for Everlasting Life,” Medicina y Etica 34, no. 4 (2023): 1063-1088, https://ethosinstitute.sg/wp-content/ uploads/2024/01/1.-01012024-DIGITAL-IMMORTALITY.pdf
5 Helmut Thielicke, The Evangelical Faith, Volume 3: Theology of the Spirit (Eerdmans, 1982), 393.
Young Voices
Physical intimacy and Christian dating … why must it be so complicated?
With a heart to honour God, many Christians start dating with a list of dos and don'ts in mind. Are there other ways? Hannah Leung shares the lessons she learnt in dating.
Ah, dating. The strange phase between being single and being married. Whether you're single or married, there are explicit principles and encouragements you can turn to in the Bible. The Bible, though, doesn't discuss dating. Dating only became commonplace way after biblical times. Almost all the characters in the Bible were brought together via family arrangements!
Yet, there seems to be an endless stream of rules surrounding dating for Christians. Since there are no guidelines in the Bible, many well-meaning church leaders try to help us prepare for dating by setting rules that are grounded in biblical principles.
After hearing all these guidelines— what to do, what not to do, what to expect, what to flee from—I felt anxious
about entering a relationship, though having rules made sense to me. I knew that as humans, we tend to act on our emotions. I hoped that the guy I ended up dating would want to tread wisely and carefully as well.
Just before I turned 19, a close friend from church, Abhi, told me that he really liked me. But in that conversation, he also confessed to the physical intimacy he had shared with his previous girlfriends. He wanted me to know before I made any decision about going out with him.
I wasn't sure what to do when the "rules" were broken before the relationship even started. As we ventured into dating, I learnt some lessons about how dating guidelines could help our relationship.
LESSON 1
Guidelines are not just about what's right or wrong (although there are certainly rights and wrongs!)
After hearing many stories about how guys are easily led to think lustfully, coupled with the fact that Abhi had already broken some dating guidelines, I felt this heavy responsibility to make sure he didn't have "funny" thoughts. We started dating for about a year, and throughout that year, I didn't let him hold my hand. I could tell that he really wanted to, but I was afraid of what it might lead to!
Was it right for me not to let him hold my hand? When it comes to physical boundaries, I don't think that there is a right or wrong to most actions per se. It might be more helpful to think about whether an action is wise or unwise. What was clear to us was that having sex outside of marriage is something spoken against strongly in the Bible (e.g. Genesis 2:24; Leviticus 20:10; Proverbs 5:15–21; 1 Corinthians 7:2). We wanted
to honour God in our relationship by not engaging in sexual relations before marriage. Therefore, to help ourselves stay far from temptation, what was wise for us at that time was to keep to this boundary, though it may have appeared extreme to others!
Looking back, I think it was a helpful decision not to hold hands, because it made it clear that I didn't want to engage in any behaviour that may arouse us. Well, holding hands may seem safe now, but the guidelines we put in place helped us to stay as far away as we could from any sexual temptation!
LESSON 2
Guidelines can change
As we continued in the relationship and there was greater certainty of our feelings for each other, we felt that we could look at our physical boundaries again. We wanted to find new rules that would allow us to express and enjoy each other's affections without compromising on our commitment to honour God. We took some time to think about it, and one day, he shared openly that he felt that kissing would cause us to venture into sexual territory. Thus, we decided that that was the line we wouldn't cross, and we wouldn't share a kiss until we got married. I don't think it's a commandment to be followed by everyone, but it was what we decided was beneficial for us. Withholding some of our physical desires at the dating stage is a way to love our partners, since it helps them to honour and love God. I wouldn't want to lead Abhi into doing what he thinks is wrong!
Different guidelines are helpful to different couples, and guidelines can be revisited as your relationship progresses. For us, discussing our physical boundaries while dating made things unambiguous, while
allowing us to grow into new expressions of affection comfortably. At every point when we wanted to do something new, for example, when we started holding hands, or hugging, we would check with each other if we were okay with it. While our emotions led us to desire more physical intimacy with each other, our desire to honour God helped us to say no to some behaviours that we felt could lead us into sexual temptation.
LESSON 3
Guidelines help us to honour God Guidelines are not there to steal our joy. They should liberate us to enjoy a God-honouring relationship that produces joy! Imagine if there were no rules in soccer. Someone decides to use his hand to block the ball, or there could be ten goalkeepers completely blocking the goal … it wouldn't really be a proper soccer game, would it? It would be frustrating, confusing and potentially cause lots of injuries! Likewise, guidelines in our relationships help us to enjoy them more. When we don't have to constantly guess what is right to do in a relationship, we have the freedom to enjoy it fully within the boundaries we have set.
LESSON 4
Christ-led dating sets you up for a Christ-led marriage
At the end of the day, dating concludes with the question of marriage. What do you want in your marriage? With dating, you are already building a relationship with a person, and that relationship can't change overnight on your wedding day. The final lesson
I would like to share is this: if you want your marriage to be one where God is first and foremost, it needs to start at the dating stage.
I've talked a lot about physical intimacy because it seems to be the biggest issue in Christian dating, and thus, an area with a lot of guidelines and rules. But it is far from the only aspect of a dating relationship that needs discussion. Have you given any thought to areas in your dating life that might draw you away from God? Choosing to prioritise honouring God in your dating relationship may feel difficult at times, because it could mean that you are putting to death something of your earthly (as opposed to godly) nature. We read about this in Colossians 3. In putting to death our sinful nature, we can take on Christ's nature (Colossians 3:5-10, 12-13). Verse 14 (NIV) says, "And over all these virtues put on love" —such true love is also what we desire and hope for in our romantic relationships. Christian dating can feel complicated, but really, it doesn't need to be. At the heart of it all, that desire to honour God and our partner is what motivates us to set up these rules, as a way of setting us up for a love that matures and deepens with time.
Whenever you feel discouraged or a little rebellious, remember the way that Christ loves us with wisdom and patience. Those are the characteristics we hope for in whom we marry, and the characteristics we hope to develop in ourselves. As such, persevere in having guidelines in your relationship, and take heart that it will most certainly be worth it.
This article was first published on Kallos magazine (www.kallos.com.sg) on 2 November 2022 and republished with permission. Hannah and Abhi have been married for four years and serve actively in their home church.
Our cue from the
Collin Tan is the Chairperson of Methodist Missions Society (MMS) after serving two quadrennia as its Finance Chairperson. He worships at Bedok Methodist Church. / Photos courtesy of MMS
benediction
Church Planting: Rev Thirawat
Preedakasemrung (also known as John, in striped t-shirt on the left), pastor of Mittaphab Methodist Church, that is reaching out to the Shan and Wa people in Chiang Mai, Thailand
Life is filled with different cues prompting certain actions—the shrill urgency of a bell warning of fire prompts us to run away while the tinkling of a bell signalling the arrival of the ice-cream cart draws us to it. Not unlike the ringing of a bell, the Christian receives a cue every Sunday.
At the end of the church service, when the pastor or elder pronounces a benediction on the congregation, what is the cue we receive? When we hear, "Go in peace and serve the Lord with joy", do we pay no heed, other than the thought that we are now free to go off and pursue the activities we have lined up for the rest of the day, or week?
Or do the words "Go in peace and serve the Lord with joy" sound to us a clear call to missions—a cue that triggers the response to GO and SERVE ?
After he was delivered from the mob of demons in Luke 8:26-39, the man desired to go with Jesus, but Jesus sent him away instead, saying, "Go … tell what God has done for you." What a powerful commission he received, to go on a mission to share what God had done. So it should be for us, whom Jesus has saved, as well.
To start our mission, we need to understand the two elements, peace and joy
Now, it may seem ironic that we are admonished to go in peace when peace in this world is so difficult to find. Consider the situation of the Israelites when they were liberated from Egypt. Ever been on a trip where you do not know where you are going, have to pack in a hurry, eat on the run, navigate harsh desert, are pursued by an army, have to cross a sea that parted for you but drowned an entire army hot
on your heels, drink bitter water and face more endless desert for forty years with no respite …? One lesson here is that while we may always hope for it, we should not expect a peaceful walk in the park when we go out into the world to share what God has done for us.
Yet, despite all the turmoil of the Israelites' desert wanderings, God was in their midst, and they clung tightly to the hope of peace. This is the true meaning of peace—it is the peace we know only God can give. Acts 10:36 (NIV) says, "You know the message God sent to the people of Israel, announcing the good news of peace through Jesus Christ, who is Lord of all." We are bearers of the same testimony— that peace has come through Jesus Christ.
Through this peace, the Israelites also knew joy. Psalm 105:43 (NIV) says, "He brought out his people with rejoicing, his chosen ones with shouts of joy." Even though circumstances were dire, the desert stretched ahead and the Promised Land was not yet in sight, their state was joy. I am convinced they were joyful from the hope of glory, anticipating what was to come. Their joy was the remarkable joy that exists irrespective of present circumstances.
God's work must be done by God's people. MMS' primary mission is to
establish indigenous churches where none currently exist. Our strategy is to work through appropriate partnership arrangements, whether with overseas Methodist entities or non-Methodist mission entities, or pioneer new missionary work. We are commended to serve with joy, partnering with local churches to promote service opportunities and to ensure that missionaries are cared for.
It is my prayer that each Sunday, every Christian will grasp the cue of the benediction and, armed with God's peace, joyfully answer his call to missions.
(above) Little Candles Methodist Church and School, where Community Development and Church Planting works in Phrao, Thailand are integrated (below) Community Development: David Chan, MMS missionary, with students and staff at St Paul Methodist School, Timor-Leste
Connect with the team at MMS to find out about the work that we do. Visit www.mms.org.sg for more information.
The hid ing place: Finding deliverance in God’s love
Chairperson of Methodist Welfare Services' Board of Governance and a regular volunteer at its nursing
shares a personal reflection from a recent pastoral care visit.
You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble; You shall surround me with songs of deliverance.
~ Psalm 32:7 (NKJV)
Have you ever felt like life's challenges have taken you to the deepest pits, where hope feels distant? How often do we forget that even in those depths, God's love is present and active, working to deliver us in ways we might not yet see?
Recently, I visited MWS Bethany Nursing Home and chatted with one of the residents, Catherine (not her real name).
Catherine's story: A journey to deliverance
Catherine shared openly with me the disorienting mental episodes she had faced, and the side effects of the medications she was prescribed, which left her feeling powerless. For years, these struggles threatened to define her life.
She also told me that she had attended 45 Bible study sessions—a testament of her hunger for God's Word. Most of all, Catherine's faith shone through as she spoke of God's deliverance. She shared her life verse, Jeremiah 39:18 (NKJV): "For I will surely deliver you ..." It is a promise she has clung to through every difficulty.
I asked Catherine how long it had been since her last episode. She smiled. "Not once," she said, "in the four years that I've been staying here." Praise God for that! Isn’t that deliverance?
A shared vulnerability
As Catherine shared her story, I found myself opening up about my own struggles. I spoke of a family member facing a serious health
homes, Eugene Toh
The hiding place: Finding deliverance in God’s love
crisis, one that had deeply tested my family's faith. This trial had taught us to lean on God's promises and reminded us of his faithfulness in ways we had not fully realised before.
That moment of mutual vulnerability created a powerful connection. We were not just exchanging stories but bearing witness to God's love in the midst of our trials. Like a hiding place, his love surrounded us, reminding us that no matter how deep our struggles, his presence is deeper still.
The
hiding place: God's love in the depths
Catherine's story reminded me of The Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom, an autobiographical account of her experiences during World War II. Published in 1971, the book details how Corrie and her family hid Jews from the Nazis in their home in the Netherlands. The title refers to both the physical hiding place and the spiritual refuge found in God, as referenced in Psalm 119:114 (NKJV): "You are my hiding place and my shield ..."
GARDEN OF
Despite the brutal conditions, abuse from guards and the constant threat of death, Corrie and her sister Betsie ministered to the women in the Ravensbrück concentration camp, sharing the gospel from a small, smuggled Bible. Their unwavering faith led many fellow prisoners to Christ. Tragically, Betsie fell ill and died in the camp on 16 December 1944. Shortly after, Corrie was released due to a clerical error; all women her age were executed just a week later.
In the depths of Ravensbrück, Betsie offered profound words of hope: "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."
Just as Corrie found strength in God's promises, Catherine's story reminds us that deliverance does not mean the absence of struggle. Instead, it often looks like God sustaining us, strengthening us and showing his faithfulness in ways that transform us from within.
Eternal Peace
THE AIR-CONDITIONED COLUMBARIUM
Open daily: 8am-8pm | Public Holidays: 9am-2pm
• Located next to Commonwealth MRT Station
• 99-year lease commencing from 1964
• Clean and peaceful environment
• Transfer of urns or exhumation can be arranged
OPEN TO ALL CHRISTIANS
Single and double niches are available with the following donations:
REGISTER AT OUR COLUMBARIUM OFFICE
400 Commonwealth Drive Faith Methodist Church Queenstown Chinese Methodist Church (Level 5)
Open Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm (Closed on Public Holidays)
Tel : 6479 8122 | HP : 9670 9935 Fax: 6479 6960 Email: gepc400@gmail.com
For booking of niches, please contact the columbarium office to arrange for an appointment.
Three personal applications
This volunteering experience revealed several truths about God and our struggles.
1. There is God’s timing for deliverance, not ours
The waiting can be difficult when we are in the midst of challenges, but God's timing is perfect. Just as Jeremiah 39:18 reminds us, God's deliverance is certain, even if it does not come when we expect it. Learning to trust his timing deepens our faith and helps us rest in his sovereignty.
2. There is God’s way of deliverance, not ours
Deliverance may not always come in the way we imagine or desire. Sometimes, God works in ways that we cannot see, leading us through unexpected paths to accomplish his purposes. As Isaiah 55:8 (NKJV) says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways."
3. But surely, there will be deliverance
The promise of deliverance is unshakeable. It may come in this life, or in eternity, but God's Word assures us that deliverance is part of his plan for his children. Holding on to this truth provides hope and strength, no matter how deep the valley may feel.
As The Hiding Place so beautifully expresses: there is no pit so deep that God's love cannot reach. It is only when we rest in this hiding place will we find the ultimate deliverance. Let us rest in that love, trusting him to deliver us in his perfect way and timing. In every trial, his presence is our hiding place.
This visit to MWS Bethany Nursing Home was one of many I had made, which blessed me profoundly. These experiences have given me different reflections on life and helped me see challenges in a new light, especially as I witness the struggles and faith of others. Truly, they remind me of the goodness of God and the depth of his love.
Just like Eugene's regular volunteering has afforded him a front row seat to God's promises and strengthened his own faith, will you consider volunteering and spending some time with the marginalised or vulnerable groups whom God loves too? Who knows, you may well also experience God in precious, unexpected ways.
The Methodist Church in Singapore is celebrating its 140th Anniversary this year. Through its social concerns arm, Methodist Welfare Services (MWS), it is rallying Methodist church members to contribute 1.4 million hours (about 35 hours a person) to serve the community in any area of social concern. These hours are not limited to volunteering with MWS or with local churches.
Scan the QR code for more information.
You and Your Family
Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, counsellor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.
Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 18 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.
Why it's important to "be the change"
The sentence, "You must be the change you want to see in your life" is often attributed to the late Mahatma Gandhi, the great social activist and strong advocate of personal empowerment. Regardless of who actually wrote this, it reflects a positive change that I do see in my clients from time to time. It is as if being in the crucible of difficult encounters brings forth gems for life.
Two of my clients, faced with different life challenges, came to the same conclusion— you cannot change others, you can only change yourself. This realisation led to the next important epiphany: that only if one sees a need to change, does the journey of change begin.
Let me briefly describe these clients' challenges so that we can appreciate how difficult it was for them to come to these realisations.
The first is a woman in her 40s who had been repeatedly betrayed by her husband. As she struggled with trying to trust him again, she experienced waves of despair, anxiety and anger. What did not help was how the husband reacted to her anger by getting angry himself. Let me quickly add here that the couple is clear that the wife's past behaviour is NOT the sole cause for the husband's infidelity. He has taken full responsibility for straying from his marital vows. But the healing of their relationship could begin only when both worked together towards rebuilding.
To his credit, he had been making attempts to repair the marriage. However, when angered, he would refer to how her "caustic behaviour" over the years was a cause of their troubled marriage. Such responses, which both agreed were valid, only increased their emotional instability.
Then came something unexpected and almost out of the blue. In a one-to-one session, the wife shared that perhaps it was time to start examining her own behaviour and working on herself so as to improve their relationship.
This awareness is priceless, and not something in which I had any part. Some external events had made her more aware of the urgency of the need to break the deadlock between herself and her husband. Some close friends also spoke about it. But this realisation needed something more than just an intellectual understanding. It had to come from deep within herself. As believers, we may see this as an epiphany brought about only when we are confronted by a deeper truth.
This client's epiphany took the form of her realising that her expectations and negative thinking needed to change. While discussing her marriage and husband, she concluded that while there were areas for improvement, e.g. while he could be less gruff in his responses and more affectionate, there were also some good points. Their marriage of over 40 years has largely stayed the same and to expect things to be different now, even become ideal, might be too much to hope for.
Both these clients' realisation is not to be seen as resignation or surrendering to their circumstances. If this were so, the accompanying emotions would be sadness, self-pity and despair. Rather, they had
Both these clients' realisation is not to be seen as resignation or surrendering to their circumstances. If this were so, the accompanying emotions would be sadness, self-pity and despair. Rather, they had realistically assessed their circumstances and were ready to accept the part they played in them. The accompanying emotions and response were humility, calm and a renewed resolve to work on themselves and their situation.
The second client is a woman in her late 60s, whose marriage is in the doldrums. After the marital relationship had stagnated for some years, she feared her husband was drawing away from her. Like chalk and cheese, the couple often have differences and a cold war descends, punctuated by occasional jabs at each other.
In the earlier years of their marriage, they were busy with their only child and their successful careers. With their child now grown up and living overseas, their retirement had left them with more time to introspect and brood.
realistically assessed their circumstances and were ready to accept the part they played in them. The accompanying emotions and response were humility, calm and a renewed resolve to work on themselves and their situation.
Do you find yourself in a deadlocked situation, frustrated that others or circumstances around you are not improving? Perhaps it is we who should consider being the change, be it in our expectations or responses to circumstances. As we adjust and move forward in our journey of change, we may well see the change we want in our life.
Walking alongside you with compassion and care ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38–39
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Rev Joey Chen is currently pastoring at Paya Lebar Methodist Church, and oversees the Family Life, Youth and Young Adult ministries. Prior to pastoring, Rev Joey had stints in the public and private sectors doing communications work. She is married to Andrew, whom she met in seminary.
Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, clinical supervisor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars. Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 18 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.
Sue-Lynn Teo is a registered psychologist with the Singapore Psychological Society and is trained in Educational and Developmental Psychology. She specialises in assessments and therapy work with children who have learning, behavioural or special needs. She worships at Toa Payoh Methodist Church with her family.
Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.
Friendships
My friends laugh at me and avoid me
I am an 11-year-old. I have a small group of friends but recently they have been hanging out with my exfriend. Sometimes they laugh at me and avoid me. Should I confront them or just stay quiet?
Lonely
Sue-Lynn says
Dear Lonely,
Thank you for your bravery in writing to us and sharing what has been going on. It's tough to feel left out, but you don't have to face this alone. Pray for wisdom and strength to approach your friend group. You can use "I" statements to share how their actions make you feel (e.g. "I feel hurt/rejected/ sad when being laughed at or left out"). Then, calmly ask questions to find out what may be going on (e.g. "I value our friendship and would appreciate it if you can tell me what's going on"). Take this opportunity to respond and share your side of the story if needed. Remember, true friends care about your feelings and have a friendship where everyone is respected and valued ☺ . Above all, continue to seek Jesus, whom we have the privilege to call both our Saviour and Friend through all the seasons of our life.
Dating &
Marriage
Is it okay for my husband to give his female colleague a ride to work frequently?
My husband and I have been married for seven years and we have two children. Recently, I found out that he has been giving a female colleague a ride to work frequently. I found this out by accident when I saw a message coming into his phone which was left on the table, confirming pick-up time. When I asked my husband about it, he said this colleague lives along the way to the office and her husband was unable to send her to work on some days. He claimed that he picked her up only occasionally and he was just being helpful. I do not feel comfortable with this arrangement and told him so. Instead of respecting my wishes, he accused me of being controlling and insecure. I also found out that after a business trip they would share a taxi back together as our homes are close. While this sounds convenient, I am not comfortable with the thought. What should I do? Am I being difficult?
Benny says Dear Concerned,
Your situation confronts many men and women in our present society. How do we maintain appropriate boundaries with each other in an environment where we come into close contact often? How does a couple trust each other in a world that is fallen and may have different values from us?
It is sad to hear that your feelings of discomfort were dismissed by your husband. As an adult and a man, I can see how he may be upset if he felt that you were being very controlling. So let me ask, just to be clear, if you have been questioning his every decision and insisting that he gets your approval in most instances?
Assuming your answer is no, does he understand why you are uncomfortable about these interactions he is having with his female colleague? I can see at least two reasons for your heightened concern. Firstly, it involves having frequent one-on-one interaction between the two of them. Even if he does not have any dishonourable intentions, what about her? Also, others noticing their coming and going can get the wrong impression of the nature of their relationship. Finally, your husband's kindness could be misunderstood by the colleague's husband, if she is married, and cause tension in their marriage.
Secondly, these interactions only came to light because you discovered it. It was not volunteered by your husband. Even if he did not mean to hide them from you, it shows that he does not understand how you might feel about such interactions. I
wonder if he had kept you informed and even told you more about this female colleague, he would have demonstrated respect for your feelings and that there might have been no cause for anxiety on your part.
Perhaps, a calm conversation would be a good way to clarify some of your concerns and his needs. If the relationship between the two of you is still too strained, a trusted friend can serve as a go-between until such time when you could both talk about it yourselves.
Family
My daughter has gender dysphoria and wants a sex change surgery
My 17-year-old child has gender dysphoria. As my husband and I are Christians, we have tried our best to share with her about what the Bible says about sexuality and at the same time show her love and acceptance. She has pleaded with us to allow her to go for a sex change surgery and because we refused, she has become distraught and engages in self-harm. Our relationship with her has become very strained. We brought her to see a counsellor but the sessions end up as heated arguments because she will not accept our views and feels that we are imposing our Christian beliefs on her. As parents, we are at our wits' end. It pains us to see her struggle mentally and emotionally. We also struggle with guilt and wonder how things have turned out this way.
Help
Joey says Dear Help,
It's very difficult for you as a parent to see your child struggle with her gender identity and with self-harm. It is not going to be an easy journey. The first thing to do is to find support for yourselves. Many parents in similar situations will not want to share what they are going through. But having a group of godly counsellors will help you make wise decisions (Proverbs 11:14). For a start, speak to your pastor. The Truelove.is website also has resources and a helpline you may find useful.
You mentioned that you struggle with guilt. Please know that your daughter's gender dysphoria is a complex situation that goes beyond what you did or did not do. However, if your daughter raises past hurts for which you need to take responsibility, ask for forgiveness and make amends.
It is also clear that your daughter is hurting. One important thing to do is to show compassion. Listen to her with the intention to understand what she is going through (rather than to correct) and empathise with her struggles. It is concerning that she is engaging in self-harm. Try to convince her to speak to a counsellor she is comfortable with to help her manage her mental health, and if possible, do a suicide assessment.
As a teenager, she is trying to figure out her identity, and the current cultural milieu does not help. There may also be emotional factors at play here. All these add to the confusion that your daughter will need help sorting through. Acknowledge her desire for gender reassignment but encourage her to take time (think: years) to consider this. You can come from the angle of, "Gender transition is a big, life-changing decision. It would be wise to go slow, and take the time to really think this through together."
In this time, learn about gender dysphoria together. Have conversations to help her clarify what are her thoughts and what are external factors (e.g. culture) acting on her. The reality is that when she turns 21, she will legally be able to make the decision without parental consent. So, between now and then, position yourself as a guide to help her think this through, rather than coming across as an authority figure whose objections she needs to overcome. This will hopefully help relieve some of the tension in the relationship.
As you journey with your daughter, it will be important for you to hold on to both grace and truth. The grace will help her to know that you and God still love her unconditionally, and the truth will keep her safe. It's difficult to straddle truth and grace, and your daughter will most likely challenge your position. For example, your child may feel that you are choosing God over her. However, the choice is not between loving her (by supporting her transition) and loving God (by not supporting her transition). To love her fully means trusting that God's design for her and following God's plans for her is what will ultimately lead
to her thriving. It may mean saying something like, "We love you, and we are not trying to impose our beliefs on you. We believe that God loves you, has a good plan for you, and the greatest joy is found in God. We want that for you." You'll need a lot of wisdom to navigate such conversations: staying close to God and having godly counsellors will be essential.
The good news is that even when we are far from God, God loves us and his love pursues us to bring us back onto the right path (Luke 15:11-32, Romans 5:8-9, Psalm 139:7-12). God loves your daughter. One of the ways that she will feel God's love will be through you, and that is important for your relationship and her well-being. But ultimately it is her relationship with God that will guide her to make the right decision. When she is captivated by God's love, she will—of her own volition and with joy—do what is right in the eyes of God. So, gently point her back towards a relationship with God, if possible, and pray for her. Most importantly, do not despair: God will never leave nor forsake your daughter, and your relationship with your daughter can improve.
When she is captivated by God's love, she will of her own volition and with joy do what is right in the eyes of God. So, gently point her back towards a relationship with God, if possible, and pray for her.
Gwendolyn Tan is the Senior Programme Executive for Worship & Music at the Methodist School of Music and a member of Barker Road Methodist Church.
as self-care Worship
Engraving of "David Playing the harp Before Saul" published in The Story of the Bible from Genesis to Revelation by Charles Foster in 1883 (Source: iStockphoto)
The Bible tells us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), entrusted to our care. Caring for ourselves is not just about physical health—it is about nurturing our connection with God. Worship helps restore our whole selves and draws us closer to him.
Music has long been a source of comfort and healing. In 1 Samuel 16:23, David's harp playing soothed King Saul's troubled spirit. Worship music goes even deeper, drawing us into God's presence. It fills us with hope, renews our strength and anchors us in his truth. Whether we are singing or simply listening, music has a way of calming our minds, lifting our hearts and surrounding us with God's peace.
In corporate worship, the congregation's repertoire should encompass songs that express the full range of human emotions—joy, sorrow, hope, lament, gratitude and praise—so that our souls are nourished, strengthened and drawn closer to God. A well-balanced repertoire ensures that worship is not only a joyful experience but also a space where worshippers can bring their burdens, find solace and be reminded of God's presence in every season of life.
Caring for yourself through worship not only strengthens your relationship with God but also brings healing to your mind and heart. When we honour the temple he has entrusted to us, we live and worship in ways that glorify him.
Make worship a part of your daily life so that you can care for the temple God has given you.
Enjoy a quiet moment with instrumental worship music so as to allow us to pause and rest in his presence.
Sing or meditate on Scripture, like Psalm 23. Even when words fail us, worship songs can become our prayers—expressing gratitude, confessing our sins or a cry for help.
At the Methodist School of Music (MSM) , we believe in the power of music to shape lives and deepen faith. Through our training programmes, workshops and worship initiatives, we equip individuals and church communities to use music as a means of worship, healing and spiritual renewal. MSM seeks to cultivate a heart of worship across all ages through music-making moments, with the hope that these moments become life-transforming. This includes children's music education, seniors' and inclusive programmes, choral training with the Methodist Festival Choir, instrumental programmes like the Methodist Festival Orchestra and intergenerational worship.
For more information, visit https://msmusic.edu.sg/
Where is my trust if I am only assured of his faithfulness in retrospect?
It's been over 365 days of job hunting and I am about to crash out. Automated replies are currently clogging my Gmail inbox. The only comfort is that my other pals are also down in the trenches with me.
Looking back at my life, I can see how God has been faithful to me on numerous occasions. God was with me as a lonely teen, giving me friends as I moved to a new country. God was with me in my academic pursuits, assuring me that he had a plan for me and helping me to graduate from university last year. God was with me as I grieved the loss of my grandma, providing timely comfort through his Word and his people.
As I recall all the ways God was with me in the past, I also recall how I often worried during those times. God's plan always prevailed in the end, but as I look back, I could have been much more at peace had I sat still in the discomfort and remained confident in his faithfulness. I started to question myself: where is my trust if I am only assured of his faithfulness in retrospect?
I want to look back at my life and know that I trusted in God's faithfulness even amidst uncertainty. As I navigate this season of job searching, I now know that God has been teaching me to remember his goodness and to put my trust in his timing.
Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong
Naomi Jenitha James worships at Tamil Methodist Church (Short Street) and serves as the President in the Methodist Youth Fellowship. / Photo courtesy of Naomi James
