Methodist Message: Nov 2024

The Bible doesn't talk about stocks, bonds and bitcoins, so what should we do?

Stewardship of the truth Is intergenerational worship worth pursuing?

Vol 126 No 11 NOVEMBER 2024

Biblical stewardship

MCI (P) 008/11/2024

Managing our God-given resources

Contents

Editorial Board Adviser and Publisher Dr Anthony Goh Chairperson, Council on Communications

/ Bishop’s Message /

Communications Manager Lynn Tan

/ News /

Managing Editor

3 The Fourth Lausanne Congress:

Alvin Tay

Editor Lianne Ong

Communications Executive

Why Methodists should pay attention to the Lausanne Movement 8 Worship Symposium 2024:

Is intergenerational worship worth pursuing?

Kathrynn Koh

Sub-editors Lucy Cheng Janice Khoo Tan Chiu Ai Elliot Soh

Proofreaders Kenneth Lee Christabel Tan

/ Feature / 11 Methodist Social Principles:

The Bible doesn't talk about stocks, bonds and bitcoins, so what should we do?

/ Opinion / 14 Soundings: Stewardship of the truth 22 Young Voices:

Truthful evangelism–Our lives speak more than our words

The official monthly publication of The Methodist Church in Singapore. Published material does not necessarily reflect the official view of The Methodist Church. All Scripture quoted is based on the English Standard Version unless otherwise stated.

70 Barker Road #06-04 Singapore 309936

/ Outreach / 17 Strategic Christian stewardship 20 Surviving medical emergencies

while caring for elderly parents and schooling children

/ Relationships / 26 At The Well

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30 You & Your Family: When emotions are muted

/ People / 33 The role of an usher

Toilets, kindness and Christ?

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. ~ Colossians 3:12 (NIV)

A

good and godly Singaporean once told me that he was born on World Toilet Day. I knew he was a November baby, but I didn't know that 19 November had been designated by the United Nations

as World Toilet Day! Nor did I know that this Toilet Day gave the Singapore Government (through the efforts of Jack Sim) its very first successful Resolution adopted by the UN in 2013! 1

The aim is to make us aware that many families in our world lack access to a good toilet and basic sanitation, essentials to good hygiene and health. The UN website on World Toilet Day offers us opportunities to steward some personal resources to helping a few families receive access to a toilet.

Such stewardship would be a much-appreciated act of kindness, and also a small but significant way of celebrating World Kindness Day which is observed annually just six days earlier on 13 November.

What a great way to kill … no, to steward life to two birds with one pebble (or more) of kindness!

The Bible urges all human beings towards acts of kindness. It so happens that in Greek (the language in which much of the Bible was originally written) the words for "kindness" (chrestos) and "Christ" (Christos) look and sound very similar. So as Christians, let us respond to the chrestos and Christos of God by "clothing ourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience".

https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/singapores-first-unresolution-adopted-now-every-nov-19-is-world-toilet-day 1

November 2024 Methodist Message 1

The Methodist Festival Choir Wong Lai Foon, Resident Conductor

Let Every

Heart

Prepare Him

Sunday, 24 November 5.30pm Bukit Panjang Methodist Church— The Sanctuary Nearest MRT Station: Hillview

Join the Methodist Festival Choir for an inspiring evening of song this Advent season. Whether you are familiar with the traditions or simply looking to enjoy the music, all are welcome to sing along with both contemporary and timeless favourites, including "Come Now is the Time to Worship", "His Mercy is More", and "Come Thou Long Expected Jesus".

Rev Gilbert Lok is a pastor at Barker Road Methodist Church and serves on the Council on Communications. / Photos courtesy of Dominique Phang, Charis Lim and Gilbert Lok

News

Why Methodists should pay attention to the

Lausanne Movement W

hat would happen if someone

to display and declare its unity in its Lord

called together a congress of 5,000

Jesus Christ?

Christians from 200 different countries, from a wide range of ethnicities, ages,

This was exactly what took place at the

theological backgrounds and worship

Fourth Lausanne Congress on World

styles? And imagine adding to this,

Evangelization (L4), held in Incheon, South

another several thousand joining in the

Korea from 22 to 28 September 2024. Over

conversation online, across multiple time

100 participants came from Singapore,

zones. What would result? Would this great

including around a dozen Methodist lay

pooling of diversity and difference result

leaders, pastors and theologians. This writer

in division and disharmony? Or would this

had the privilege to participate via the

be an opportunity for the global Church

online Virtual Experience (VX) track.

November 2024 Methodist Message 3

Why Methodists should pay attention to the Lausanne Movement

Screenshot of the L4 dashboard, giving a small glimpse of the behind-thescenes efforts in bringing together thousands of global participants across different time zones over various collaboration groups

The Lausanne Movement was birthed in

"Christian social responsibility is […] an

1974, when evangelist Billy Graham convened

integral part of the Gospel which the Church

the First International Congress on World

is expected to proclaim, preserve and

Evangelization in Lausanne, Switzerland.

practise. [We] desire to be obedient to Christ

Since then, the movement has been a

in bringing the whole of life with its activities,

catalyst in uniting Christians to collaborate

possessions, relationships and environment

and partner in God's mission throughout

into conformity with the will of God." (Book of

the world. But just what does the Church on

Discipline ¶81, emphasis added)

God's mission look like?

The gospel of Christ is not merely a future

Integral Mission / Holistic Mission

hope; the gospel is also about the Kingdom

L4's theme was: Let the Church Display

of God breaking into our lived realities in the

and Declare Christ Together. The two verbs,

here and now.

"display" and "declare", make clear that both showing Christ and speaking of Christ must

May these terms Integral Mission and

go together. As the L4 Seoul Statement

Holistic Mission become common lingo

puts it, "We cannot make disciples without

among Singaporean Christians, so that the

announcing the good news, and cannot be

whole Church may take the whole gospel to

disciples without a deep engagement with a

the whole world.

broken world" (para 73).

Display. Declare. The two cannot be disconnected. Hence the phrases Integral Mission and Holistic Mission.

This is nothing much new for Methodists.

Evangelism and social action have been a hallmark of the Wesleyan movement since its inception. Our Methodist Social Principles states: 4 Methodist Message November 2024

Wesley Methodist Church delegates (from left to right) Charis Lim, Jonathan Huang, Lynn Lau and Lennard Chan

25 Gaps

From mission field to mission force

The Global Ageing Population. AI and

Since L4 was hosted in South Korea,

Transhumanism. Digital Communities.

participants had opportunities to learn

Sexuality and Gender. Holistic Health.

about the history of Christianity in Korea.

Ethnicism and Racism. Christianity, Radical

The Church at large in Singapore, like the

Politics and Religious Freedom. Caring for

Church in South Korea, has evolved from a

Creation and the Vulnerable.

mission field to a missionary-sending force.

Participants encountered inspiring stories

These are just some of the 25 contemporary

of faith and resilience through poverty,

gaps identified at L4. To the reader: do any

persecution and war.

of these gaps impact how you live out the gospel in your own life setting? If so, you

At the same time, ongoing challenges were

will want to look at Lausanne's State of the

also frankly acknowledged, including rising

Great Commission report.

disillusionment with the Church (especially by the younger generation), a decline in the

Both onsite and online participants joined

proportion of Christians, and the complex

various discussion groups that focused

realities of national and international politics.

on each gap. Hopefully, this will catalyse future collaborative action to help address

There are perhaps some lessons for the

and close these gaps. The passion of

Singaporean Church, which is similarly a

some online participants was clearly

missionary-sending force and the so-called

seen, especially when they joined the

"Antioch of Asia".

collaboration groups in the wee hours in their time zone. This writer was heartened

Beware of saying "I don't need you"

and inspired by individuals in the "Scripture

Lausanne's Executive Director, Dr Michael

in a Digital Age" breakout group, who are

Oh, said, "The four most dangerous words

using satellite broadcasts to bring the

in the global Church today are, 'I don't need

gospel to restricted-access countries, or

you.'" Very fitting for a movement which

working on indigenous Bible translation

seeks to unite a diverse global Church in

projects in Canada.

global mission.

A screenshot from the author's L4 Collaborate group, addressing Gap 7: Scripture in a Digital Age. (Guess which sticky note is the author's?)

November 2024 Methodist Message 5

Why Methodists should pay attention to the Lausanne Movement

Indeed, the global Church needs to

Ruth Padilla DeBorst, others at the fact

hear and respond to the suffering

that Lausanne made an apology. This

experienced by our brothers and

is a reality of the global Church—that

sisters in different parts of the globe.

sincere and well-meaning Christians

At L4, participants were confronted

sometimes do disagree. Yet, especially

with the experiences of Christians

in such times, the Church must refuse

who were abducted by armed groups,

to say, "I don't need you".

forced into sexual slavery, imprisoned by state security forces for planting

Dr Rula Khoury Mansour, a Palestinian

churches or caught up in national

Christian and founder of the Nazareth

genocide or international aggression.

Centre for Peace Studies, reminded

The solemn and sombre mood

L4 participants that the gospel

was palpable, even for the online

encompasses reconciliation. This entails

participants. Tears were shed. Heartfelt

truth-telling, acknowledging failure

prayers were uttered. The Church

and embracing forgiveness, justice and

cannot say, "I don't need you".

healing—all extremely difficult work.

Yet, reconciliation is essential for a

Amid the displays of unity, L4 had

shared future, one in which the Church

its share of controversies. Some

does not say, "I don't need you".

participants were surprised that the Seoul Statement was released before

May we beware of saying to other

the Congress, instead of being a result

Christians, "I don't need you", so that we

of the week's deliberations. Some took

can, holistically and in wholeness, display

offence at a turn-of-phrase by speaker

and declare Christ, together.

Representatives from the Chinese Annual Conference (from left to right): Dennis Tan, Rev Dr Edwin Tay and his wife, Angela Teo, Rev Dr Andrew Peh, Dominique Phang and President Dr Gregory Goh

6 Methodist Message November 2024

REFLECTIONS from MCS delegates

"He a ri n g ho suff w th e ri n e Ch g , esp disa u rc h e ci a bilit g r ow lly fr y min me. s am om istr y I fe e t id h , ose l re n dee God i p n e l w is m y en e d ov c and in m insp ourage y ow i n g i n t d i re d he g n lif disp by h e, ca loba l ay C ow lling l Ch h ri s mot u rc h me t in h e r, to d my and and ch u f e a c m l a re in m rc h ily a a t y h nd s wo r disa ro u g a wi kp l a bilit fe a hm c y in n y e d w and cl u s t ion." ork in t he a he Dom r ea i of Oha n i q u e na M Pha ng Cha inist ir ry pers

on,

1st century achieve 2 to ig for oals. The b e affirmed ministr y g "Lausann at d th n is a for me e dreams takeaway me that th xt e n to n ach the d has give we can re if visions Go v ti c ely sley n by colle esley (We generatio Digital W erse gifts to t Church) ng our div ti is n d o la p th e M il of nlarge ts in the so rich and e and talen extend, en g u n thro h om of God llaboratio o c the Kingd , d orl tions and e digital w digital solu through th rs e l surely th o y ies, we wil by m a n g d te re ra a t st sh is ! Truly, 'Le globe! We ig harvest e b th a d e n se u aro d alone declare an this work e church th '" cannot do e ve togeth r! collaborati play Christ is d and it is a ex t ach the n effort to re ey th briel Lim n where Charis Ga ey, generatio igital Wesl e must person, D w ir , a e h c C n h e rc H hu are. ethodist C eward Wesley M ithfully st arise to fa logy ry techno 21st centu

Cha irpe Sen rso gka ng M n/ LCEC etho Vice dist Chu rch

Let the Church declare and display Christ together

I t wa s an h onou thou r to b sand eap s of Ch ar t of Unde r istian rstan a glo s, esp ding bal g Dei) i e ci a l l ather h ow s ex p y as a t ing o h e r e w s f m u ch yo u n hole sed a missi g per l l ove need on of son. r the ed gl c r ea t G w obal od (m o rl d p ion c persp a re . W issio r ov i d and d ec tiv ed m hile t e isagr e f o h r e eeme my m r e we as div re m o nt—a inistr erse y in s can ment as th globa b s i e s o — f te n s e xpec the C l Chu ion te d i n r c h to ongr h ea r t ess' c a gat equip ening l a ri o n h e t ri n g . h I e yo u d e cl a a m re c a l l fo nger ri n g t n e we r the g h d e e wh nerat C h ri s i n my ole g ion w t's lov co nv ospe as e by i c t issue l i o n to , along addr s of s c essin s o i n d o ci a l tinue e disp g cl i m justic l ay i n a te c e. g hang e and other Denn is Ta n Our F R e co

ather 's Wo rld (fo rding rmer Secre ly Cre tary, ation Seng Care kang SG); Meth odist Chur ch

For further r eading Lausanne Movement https://lausanne.org/ Seoul Statement https://lausanne.org/statement/the-seoul-statement 25 Gaps https://congress.lausanne.org/the-25-collaborate-session-gaps/ State of the Great Commission report https://lausanne.org/report Article "A Theological Monument to Unity amid Diversity" https://www.christianitytoday.com/2024 /07/theological-unity-diversity-lausanne-covenant/ November 2024 Methodist Message 7

News

Carolyn Tan worships at Kampong Kapor Methodist Church and is the Chairperson of the Worship & Music ministry there. / Photos courtesy of Methodist School of Music

Is intergenerational worship worth pursuing?

Worship Symposium 2024 had the resounding answer

"It was so fun! We danced to African music!"

The symposium's title, "Worship for Everyone", was certainly apt as it brought

Thirteen-year-old Laura Janis' verdict of her

together 155 participants from 37 churches

Choir Tool Box session with Dr Eudenice

(including 24 Methodist churches)—pastors,

Palaruan was unwavering. She went on to

worship leaders, musicians, Sunday school

describe how she had learnt several new

teachers and members from audio-

songs, moved into a big circle to dance and

visual teams from 30 churches of various

experienced unity in music-making through

denominations across seven countries.

playing a variety of percussion instruments.

"Intergenerational worship is something Worship Symposium 2024, hosted by Toa

close to God's heart. Throughout biblical

Payoh Methodist Church, is a biennial

times, God has called entire families and

collaborative effort between Methodist

households to salvation, and to worship

School of Music (MSM) and Trinity

him together," Ms Clarissa Tan, Executive

Annual Conference's Board of Worship

Director of MSM, explained in her welcome

& Music (BOWM), with Rev Isaac Tan as

address. "Every generation has something

the organising committee chair. These

to contribute to intergenerational worship."

Tool Box sessions were designed to inspire participants with practical tools

Aside from the Tool Box sessions, the

and ideas that they could use in their

symposium kept participants engaged

respective ministries.

throughout with thought-provoking

8 Methodist Message November 2024

(above left) Opening worship session before the start of the Worship Symposium (above right) One of the keynote speakers, Dr Tan Soo-Inn, speaking on the transformative power of intergenerational worship

content from dynamic speakers and

co-author of the book The Generations

honest discussions in small groups.

Project: Bridging Generational Divides

These segments were interspersed with

in the Singapore Church, suggested that

times for corporate worship and prayer

there could be more compassionate,

in different styles.

empathetic listening among members of different generations. Narratives such

Providing the framework on Day 1 was

as testimonies can be very powerful in

Rev Dr Tan Siang Yang, an expert in the

enabling learning from each other and

field of psychology and ministry. He urged

building relationships.

worshippers to first come from a renewed vision of God who takes great delight in his

With regard to services, churches should

children, rejoicing when his children enter

allow space for some experimentation.

communion with him.

Services should reflect unity in diversity, and appropriate music that reflects the

Rev Dr Tan pointed out that modern

best from each generation should not be

psychology is wrong in its advice for

forgotten or swept aside.

relationships. It tells people to love themselves before they can love others.

Day 2's Panel Q&A saw panellists agreeing

However, because all are sinners, loving

that relationships across the generations in

the self becomes the focus. Mark 12:30-

church must be built, and humility, honour

31 is a two-in-one commandment that

and respect were essential ingredients in

exhorts believers to first love God, and then

building acceptance of one other. The good

our neighbour. The Bible does not ask us

flow of questions from the floor indicated

to love ourselves. And most importantly,

that while many understood the whys,

Christians need to pray above all things in

many others sought ideas for the hows.

order to be conduits for God. With so much information to delve into, How then could churches proceed with this

participants became engrossed in the small

understanding of who God is and what he

group discussions. A sampling of what

desires of us?

participants shared unearthed the myths that exist, and what they felt the Church

One of the speakers, Rev Dr Tan Soo-Inn,

needed to work on instead:

November 2024 Methodist Message 9

Is intergenerational worship worth pursuing?

During the Tool Box session "For Everyone",

to their churches, Hannah Seow, a

a workshop about building meaningful

worship leader at Faith Methodist

relationships across generations, Mr Ho Wei

Church, suggested, "Perhaps we can first

Hao, co-author of The Generations Project,

take time to encourage grandparents,

helpfully distinguished ways different

parents and youth, separately, and share

generations relate to each other:

with them the stories, strengths and challenges of others. When we increase

•

Multigenerational

The congregation has a number of

our appreciation of different generations, mindsets can change."

generations living alongside each other and there is superficial and polite interaction

Bryan Ho, Lay Ministry Staff at Cairnhill

between the generations.

Methodist Church, hoped that he would be able to share the necessity of reading

•

Cross-generational

and knowing God's Word. He cited John

There is some sharing, listening and

4:23 as his reason: "To worship in a way that

learning between the different generations

reflects what Jesus talks about worshipping

in a church community but little individual

in Spirit and in truth."

or collective transformation resulting from the interaction.

Joan Lim, a worshipper at Newton Life Church felt that churches could do more

•

Intergenerational

to align themes throughout the year. "It

There is comprehensive mutuality, equality

may help to have a common pulpit series,

and reciprocity between the different

a theme or topic that runs for some weeks

generations. This makes individual or

from children's ministry to the main

collective transformation more likely.

services so that the young and old can have conversations and really listen to each other."

It grew increasingly evident as the time passed, that getting to be an

With the honest and vibrant discussions

intergenerational church would have to

that went on, and the renewed energy felt

be the overarching aim of churches—

amongst participants who were passionate

where churches strive to deepen

about their ministries, it was clear God had

relationships across generations, and

placed this same burden in churches across

where discipleship would be key in

different denominations. Congregations

deepening congregants' love of the

that choose to press on to pursue

Triune God, the only reason for worship.

intergenerational worship will surely be more united, more able to bear witness to

When asked what learning points

the world, and more prepared for worship

participants would like to bring back

in heaven when the day comes.

10 Methodist Message November 2024

(above left) A light-hearted moment during the panel discussion on the second day (above right) Children from MSM’s Children In Worship programme leading a song at the Closing Worship service together with the Toa Payoh Methodist Church choir behind them

Rev Raymond Fong is the Pastor-in-Charge of Wesley Methodist Church.

Before answering the call to be a pastor, he was a government lawyer and worked as a deputy public prosecutor, holding an appointment as Deputy Director (Legal) in the Ministry of Manpower.

Feature

Methodist Soci a l Principles The Bible doesn't talk about stocks, bonds and bitcoins, so what should we do?

Every Christian aspires to obey God, avoid evil and do good.

But some modern-day predicaments are not discussed specifically in the Bible.

How, then, can we apply biblical principles to our lives? In this 9-part series, The Methodist Church in Singapore shares reflections on its Social Principles which, more than ever before, can help believers live by God's firm principles in today's volatile and complex world. This instalment discusses The Sphere of Economics.

Here, Rev Raymond Fong looks at how the Church can respond to the economic complexities of our day through a biblical lens, by the grace of the Holy Spirit. / Part 8 of 9 /

T

he Methodist Social Principles on The

managed responsibly. It is contrary to our

Sphere of Economics state:

Christian faith for any person or group of

We believe all economic systems are under the judgement of God and that we need to test each aspect of every economic system by the teachings of the Bible and to judge

persons to have exclusive and arbitrary control of any part of the created universe.

2. The acquisition of wealth a) We support all honest measures that

its practices and impact by its contribution

would reduce the concentration of

towards the common good.

wealth in the hands of a few. We should ensure that materialistic

1. Property and possessions

progress does not undermine our

We believe that ownership of property

family, weaken our community spirit,

is a trusteeship under God and all our

dehumanise the individual, and

possessions are a trust from God to be

destroy the natural environment.

November 2024 Methodist Message 11

The Bible doesn't talk about stocks, bonds and bitcoins, so what should we do?

b) We accept that wealth creation

consideration for the worth of the

can enrich the nation, find jobs for

individual, whether it is a woman by the

the citizens and enhance the living

well, a leper, despised Samaritans or the

standards of the population. Yet wealth

sick and dying.

creation must not be done by exploiting cheap labour, using unsustainable

In our evaluation of any economic system,

natural resources, widening the income

we must ask the fundamental question

gap between the rich and the poor, or

of whether it seeks to uphold the dignity

promoting a selfish profligate lifestyle.

and values the worth of a person.

3. A simple lifestyle and consumerism

.

a) We call on all Christians to adopt a

The propensity for selfish gain This other biblical aspect of human

simple lifestyle and to be ever conscious

nature is also critical.

and vigilant against the influence of consumerism which thrives on pride,

While we are created good, human

greed and the human propensity to

beings nonetheless have the inward

acquire more than we need.

disposition to rebel against God through selfish ambition leading to unjust

b) We need to evaluate our personal and

economic structures.

business practices so that we will not be influenced and controlled by the

Because of the sin-led inclination to use

standards and values of an acquisitive

power for selfish advantage and profit,

society and an extravagant and

any economic system that promotes

wasteful lifestyle.

monopolised, unchecked power over resources is to be deterred and avoided.

c) A simple lifestyle is not a call for an ascetic life. It is a spiritual discipline

.

Biblical justice

that promotes godliness with

The Word of God describes God as one

contentment, and increases our

who loves justice and commands us to

awareness of God's presence and

act justly and love mercy (Micah 6:8).

providence in our lives. A simple lifestyle frees us to be more sensitive

The Bible reveals the shape of justice as

to the needs of the poor and the

both of process and outcome. Biblical

beauty of God's world.

justice envisions a socio-economic order where the processes are just and the

Four principles of a biblical economic framework

outcome is a fair distribution of justice.

For example, biblical justice mandates

It is imperative that we apply a biblical

that impartial justice is rendered through

framework when we consider The Sphere of

a fair process to persons regardless

Economics. In my view, four core principles

of means or status (Leviticus 19:15;

undergird this framework.

Deuteronomy 1:17–19)

.

The worth of the individual person

Biblical justice speaks out against unjust

Human beings are created in the image

oppression and unfair deprivation

of God. Each person is of immeasurable

(Isaiah 5:7–9; Amos 5:11–12; Micah 2:2).

value and should be accorded dignity,

Biblical justice, therefore, mandates

respect and worth.

an economic system where every person and family has fair access to

The example of Jesus is instructive.

education, jobs and resources if they act

He demonstrated profound care and

responsibly and diligently.

12 Methodist Message November 2024

.

A special concern for the least and last,

disadvantage the least should be a

especially the poor

costly, counter-cultural generosity

There are so many references in the

which goes beyond just charity,

Bible that point to God's heart for such

and a bold witness to a radical and

as these (Deuteronomy 10:17-19; Matthew

transformative love of God. Will we be

25:31-45). Because God has a special

willing to go the extra mile to journey

concern for them, so must we (Zechariah

with the poor and needy? Will we offer

7:9; James 1:27).

not just our finances but our friendship?

Any economic system must therefore

.

Reality check

be measured on how it provides for

In his sermon on "The Use of Money",

the poorest, weakest and the most

John Wesley's exhortation is to earn

marginalised in society.

all you can, save all you can and give all you can.

Any biblical approach to economics should emphasise empowering the poor

There is much wisdom in this and I

and breaking them out of the poverty

think the crux lies in whether we are

cycle. There should be particular concern

willing to help each other live out

with widening income gaps and active

these principles of biblical stewardship,

assistance for the poor and needy,

especially in the area of giving.

especially in economically trying times with rising costs.

I believe that it is only in an accountable community that we will have the much-

Three calls to action

needed reality check on the lifestyles we

There are therefore three calls to action in

are living, the way we are spending, saving

response to these core principles.

and stewarding our resources for the benefit of others.

.

Redeeming consumption Even as current economic systems

Often, we don't venture into such details

promote consumerism and relentless

because these are personal and private.

consumption, what then is the

But if we are to grow as responsible

Christian response?

stewards, then I reckon it's time we pursue such regular reality checks as we help each

I believe it is to allow Christ to redeem

other spend wisely and give generously.

our consumption. Let's turn to the Bread of Life (John 6:35) who alone can

Economic systems are complex,

satisfy the longings of our soul and

ingrained and difficult to change. Yet

spiritual thirst.

there is a part for all of us to play.

Let the treasure of our hearts not be

As Christians, our worldview is shaped by

temporal but eternal. Let Christ satisfy.

a biblical framework. May the Lord give us grace for a counter-cultural witness as

Let us eat more of this true Bread that

his salt and light.

feeds our souls. Let us make him the centre of our consumption and allow him

This means, through our lifestyles, we

to redeem it for his glory.

exhibit a longing for eternal treasure that will not perish; we display a

.

Radical generosity

readiness to help the least, last and

I believe our Christian response in the

lost with a generosity that glorifies our

face of economic structures which

Father in heaven.

November 2024 Methodist Message 13

Soundings

T

Dr Roland Chia is Chew Hock Hin Professor of Christian Doctrine at Trinity Theological College and Theological and Research Advisor at the Ethos Institute for Public Christianity.

he topic of good stewardship prompts

notion of objective truth, reducing it to the

me to reflect on an important aspect

preferences of the individual or a group.

of stewardship that has suffered some

This relativisation of truth has

neglect: the stewardship of the truth

profound implications in academic

that the Church has received from God

and social disciplines such as ethics,

through his Word.

race, gender, the arts, politics, etc. Regrettably, the postmodern

In his book, Truth Decay: Defending

sensibility has permeated

Christianity Against the Challenges of

contemporary Christianity,

Postmodernism, the Christian apologist

Groothuis observes, including

Douglas Groothuis describes how the

evangelicalism.

postmodern ethos has impacted both culture and the Church.1 Most significantly,

Theologians and scholars such as

postmodernism, in its war against any grand

David Wells and Mark Noll have

theory (metanarrative), has rejected the

long lamented about the dangerous

14 Methodist Message November 2024

erosion of doctrinal emphasis and

New Apostolic Reformation.4 Some of

theological rigour in evangelical

the key personalities of the movement,

churches. Writing in the early 1990s,

such as Bill Johnson, the pastor of

David Wells observed that:

Bethel Church in Redding, California, have spoken at conferences here.

Evangelicals today only have to believe that God can work dramatically within the narrow fissure of internal

•

There is a small group of Christians

experience; they have lost interest

in Singapore who promote

(or perhaps they can no longer

"Progressive Christianity", which

sustain interest) in what the doctrines

is basically the old theological

of creation, common grace, and

liberalism dressed up in a

providence once meant for Christian

postmodern garb. 5

believers, and even in those doctrines that articulate Christ’s death such as

•

And there are a few churches here

justification, redemption, propitiation,

which claim to be 'woke', and have

and reconciliation. It is enough for them

thrown their weight behind the

simply to know that Christ somehow

social justice movement, without

died for people.

understanding that the ideologies

2

that fuel it are not derived from The sad consequence of this erosion—this

the Bible, but from The Communist

replacement of rigorous orthodoxy with

Manifesto.6

Christianity Lite—is that churches (and Christians) become vulnerable to heresies

The Church has been given the

and alien ideologies masquerading as

responsibility to exercise responsible

biblical Christianity.

stewardship of the truths they have received through God's Word. Although

We see this subtle (and sometimes not so

this is the responsibility of all of God's

subtle) invasion of secular and pagan ideas

people, bishops, pastors, theologians

in evangelical churches in the West—from

and leaders (including church boards

wokeism to social justice to New Ageism

and church councils) are held especially

and even occultism.

accountable.

The churches in Singapore are not spared.

There are two aspects to the exercise of

Here are some examples.

responsible stewardship of God's truth.

•

There is a church which has

The first is to teach it faithfully. Writing

resuscitated the ancient heresy of

to Titus, Paul exhorts the young pastor

antinomianism, with its unbiblical

to: "… teach what accords with sound

teaching on grace, and its cavalier

doctrine" (Titus 2:1).

attitude towards sin and the moral laws of God. 3

But responsible stewardship of God's truth also involves exposing and

•

There are Christians and churches that

rebuking false teachers or heretics. In

are drawn to some of the teachings

listing the criteria for the appointment

and practices of a movement called the

of elders, the apostle writes: "He must

November 2024 Methodist Message 15

Stewardship of the truth

hold firm to the trustworthy word as

One of the insidious sins that plagued

taught, so that he may be able to give

the early Church and prevented it from

instruction in sound doctrine and also

exercising responsible stewardship of God's

to rebuke those who contradict it"

truth is the deadly sin of tolerance.

(Titus 1:9).

In Revelation 2, we read the Lord's The Church has not only been given the

serious indictment against the church in

responsibility to exercise responsible

Thyatira, a church which was otherwise

stewardship of the truths they have received

known for its "love and faith and service

through God's word. She has also been

and patient endurance": "But I have

instructed to "contend" for the faith. In Jude

this against you, that you tolerate that

1:3, we read:

woman Jezebel …" (Revelation 2:19-20).

Beloved, although I was very eager

Once bishops, pastors, theologians,

to write to you about our common

and leaders turn a blind eye to false

salvation, I found it necessary to

teachings for whatever reason—doctrinal

write appealing to you to contend

neglect, political expediency or fear

for the faith that was once for all

of backlash—and allow "destructive

delivered to the saints.

heresies" (2 Peter 2:1) to infect the Church, they have failed to be good

To contend for the faith is to "fight

stewards of God's truth.

strenuously for [the defense of] the faith" (AMP). It is to defend and safeguard biblical

They have disobeyed God's specific

orthodoxy in the face of the powerful

instruction to "contend for the faith

seduction of secular ideologies and

that was once for all delivered to

religious heresies.

the saints."

The history of the Church is filled with examples of bishops, clergy and theologians who contended for the faith against every false doctrine, often at the cost of their lives.

Douglas Groothuis, Truth Decay: Defending

4

Against the Challenges of Postmodernism

Reformation?', July 2022, https://ethosinstitute.sg/

(InterVarsity Press, 2000).

what-is-the-new-apostolic-reformation/.

1

2

David Wells, No Place for Truth: Or Whatever

5

See Roland Chia, 'What is the New Apostolic

See Roland Chia, 'Progressive Christianity: A

Happened to Evangelical Theology? (Eerdmans,

Primer', October 2022, https://ethosinstitute.sg/

1994), 131.

progressive-christianity-a-primer/

3

See Roland Chia, 'The New Antinomianism: A

Critique of the New Theology of Grace', June 2024, https://ethosinstitute.sg/the-new-antinomianism/.

16 Methodist Message November 2024

6

See Roland Chia, 'Woke', Jan 3, 2022, https://

ethosinstitute.sg/woke/.

Outreach

Prof Dennis Lee serves as Director, Strategic Planning and Capacity Building, Methodist Missions Society. He was a Visiting Professor with Copenhagen Business School, a Fellow with Singapore University of Social Sciences and an alumnus of Regent College (MTS '88 & MDiv '89). He worships at Kum Yan Methodist Church.

Strategic

Christian stewardship

T

he Covid-19 pandemic is a social and

In both the gospels according to Matthew

economic crisis just as much as it is

and Luke (Matthew 25:14-30; Luke 19:11-

a health one—its repercussions, severe

27), a master going away on a trip puts his

and far-reaching, are being felt across the

servants in charge of his goods in varying

world.1 The effects are felt unevenly across

amounts. Upon his return, the master

societies. The Wellcome Global Monitor

assesses the stewardship of his servants. He

2020: Covid-19 Report, 2 the largest study of

evaluates them according to how faithful

its kind, found that the pandemic has had

each was in making wise investments to

a disproportionate impact on low-income

obtain a profit. It is clear that the master

countries and people with low incomes

sought some profit from the goods under

across all countries.

each servant's oversight. A gain indicated faithfulness on the part of the servants.

Inflation followed, brought on by increases in

The master rewards his servants according

production costs associated with disruptions

to how each has handled his stewardship.

in raw materials, labour or markets. We felt

He judges two servants as having been

the effects. Our money is not able to buy

"faithful" and gives them a positive

as much today as it could in the past. We

reward. To the single "unfaithful" servant,

witness higher interest rates, and higher

who avoided even the safe profit of bank

prices for everything. We are experiencing a

interest, a negative compensation is given.

rising cost of living.

What is the lesson of the Parable of the This, together with the impact of climate

Talents?

change, once again reminds us of the need for strategic Christian stewardship. But what

The point of the parable is that whatever

is strategic Christian stewardship?

we have been given, we are to use it for God's purposes. The severe consequences

Let us first reflect on the Parable of

to the unproductive servant, far beyond

the Talents.

anything triggered by mere business

November 2024 Methodist Message 17

mediocrity, tell us that we are to invest our

Lord your God with all your heart and

lives, not waste them.

with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest

The Parable of the Talents highlights how

commandment. And the second is like it:

seemingly ordinary individuals can make

'Love your neighbour as yourself.' All the

the most of blessings granted by God. It

Law and the Prophets hang on these

is important to observe that both faithful

two commandments."

servants invest for the benefit of their master, and they return to him not only

The apostle Paul, in his letter to the

his original investment but also what they

Christian community in Galatia, also

make on his behalf.

encouraged them to "Love your neighbour as yourself" (Galatians 5:14). And he went

It is a privilege to be entrusted with

on to elaborate: "And let us not grow weary

talents, resources and opportunities to

of doing good, for in due season we will

work toward God's purposes in the world.

reap, if we do not give up. So then, as

If we do so, we take our place among

we have opportunity, let us do good to

all the faithful, trustworthy servants of

everyone, and especially to those who are

God, no matter how big or small our

of the household of faith" (Galatians 6:9-10).

accomplishments may seem.

Finally, how do you get there?

So, where are you now with regard to The Good News according to Matthew

this parable?

19:16-17, 21-22 gives us a hint: Strategic Christian stewardship is not only about being able to manage your wealth

"And behold, a man came up to [Jesus],

and resources wisely and faithfully, but

saying, 'Teacher, what good deed must

also doing good, extending your wealth

I do to have eternal life?' And he said

and resources to demonstrate love for

to him, 'Why do you ask me about

your neighbour.

what is good? There is only one who is good. If you would enter life, keep

This is where you want to be.

the commandments.' … 'If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess

An expert in the Law tested Jesus with

and give to the poor, and you will have

this question: "Teacher, which is the

treasure in heaven; and come, follow

greatest commandment in the Law?"

me.' When the young man heard this

He was expecting Jesus to recite the

he went away sorrowful, for he had

Shema. 3 But Jesus replied: "'Love the

great possessions."

Strategic Christian stewardship is not only about being able to manage your wealth and resources wisely and faithfully, but also doing good, extending your wealth and resources to demonstrate love for your neighbour.

1

https://wellcome.org/news/equality-global-poverty-how-covid-19-affecting-societies-and-economies

2

https://wellcome.org/reports/wellcome-global-monitor-covid-19/2020

https://bibleproject.com/articles/what-is-the-shema/ "Hear O Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is one. And as for you, you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

3

November 2024 Methodist Message 19

Outreach

By the MWS Communications Team. / Photos courtesy of MWS

Surviving medical emergencies while caring for elderly parents and schooling children

Mdm Alice Sih Lai Khuen along with husband Mr Chong Moon Yeen and MWS medical social worker Eva Yeo

F

ive years ago, 64-year-old Mr Chong

"I just couldn't manage caring for him alone

Moon Yeen was behind the wheel

because he was a large man, and I wasn't

of his taxi when he unexpectedly

strong enough to lift him by myself," shared

suffered a stroke. He was rushed to

his wife, Mdm Alice Sih Lai Khuen. "I was

the hospital and spent several days

also juggling a full-time job at the time,

in a coma in the ICU. The stroke

which made it even harder."

had caused a blood clot in his brain, and to relieve the pressure from the

About a year after her husband's stroke, Mdm

swelling, doctors had to perform a

Alice was diagnosed with an autoimmune

delicate surgery, removing part of his

disorder that weakened her muscles, making

skull. Once stabilised, Mr Chong was

it impossible for her to continue working.

transferred to MWS Bethany Nursing

With their two children still in school and

Home (BNH) – Choa Chu Kang, where

the family relying on financial aid for daily

he began his long journey of recovery,

expenses, Mdm Alice felt overwhelmed,

receiving round-the-clock medical,

unsure how she could afford the care her

nursing care, as well as therapy.

husband desperately needed.

20 Methodist Message November 2024

Financial support brings relief Amid the family's financial struggles, the generous sponsorship from Wesley Methodist Church became a lifeline, enabling Mr Chong to remain at MWS BNH so he can receive the essential care he needs.

"My late father had dementia and was also in a nursing home at that time. It was incredibly hard trying to care for both my husband and my father," Mdm Alice said, her voice breaking as tears welled up. "I am deeply grateful for the church's financial support. Without it, I don't know how I would have managed. It has truly lifted a weight off my shoulders."

Even now, as the couple's children are

Mdm Alice celebrating Valentine's Day with her husband during a special event at MWS Bethany Nursing Home – Choa Chu Kang last year

just starting their careers and unable to contribute much, the family's finances remain tight. Yet, the ongoing support brings Mdm Alice much-needed comfort, knowing they're not facing these

Illuminating hope

struggles alone.

Mdm Alice is just one of many whose lives

Making a difference in her own way

have been transformed by the generous

Out of a heart overflowing with gratitude,

support of MWS' partner churches. These

Mdm Alice gives back by volunteering

churches provide crucial financial aid and

with MWS' Caregivers' Club, where she leads other caregivers in activities like mooncake-making and lantern crafts to help them relax and unwind. She also

volunteer support, from sponsoring tuition for underprivileged youth, to offering grocery vouchers for struggling families

shares self-care tips, such as relaxation

and engaging seniors experiencing social

techniques, offering support to those

isolation in meaningful activities. Partner

navigating similar challenges.

us and be a channel of the hope and light of Christ in the community.

"Helping other caregivers gives me a sense of accomplishment," said Mdm Alice. "Everyone faces their own struggles, even if they don't always talk about them.

These activities bring a little joy into their

Learn more at www.mws.sg , and make a difference to over 16,700 families and individuals by donating at

lives. Whether their creation turns out

www.mws.sg/give. Your support

perfect or not, they feel proud, and seeing

can transform lives today.

them happy makes me happy too."

November 2024 Methodist Message 21

Young Voices

Zachary Yong worships at Wesley Methodist Church and at Covenant Vision Christian Church with his family.

He is part of the Kopi kakis comics team and is currently reading Law at Cambridge.

Truthful evangelism Our lives speak more than our words

"Evangelism" is a lofty word and much-

grandfather. My great-grandfather was

vaunted concept, but do we ever think

a poor, illiterate Hainanese migrant

of how it relates to us personally? When

to Singapore at the dawn of the 20th

I think of how my spiritual heritage

century, who sold bread for a living.

sprang from the work of two evangelists

One day, passing by a church, he

who were obedient to God's call, I feel

decided to enter it out of curiosity,

compelled to pass on this blessing of a

and heard the pastor preaching in

spiritual heritage to others and share

Hainanese, the only language my

God's love with them.

great-grandfather understood. When the pastor asked if anyone in the

The first evangelist was a pastor

congregation would step forward and

who ministered to my late great-

receive Christ into their life, my great-

22 Methodist Message November 2024

grandfather boldly went forward. I'm

it not for the second evangelist, in the

not sure if he knew the magnitude

shape of my mother's best friend in

of his decision, but I'm glad he did

primary school, my nuclear family might

it. By all accounts, his whole life was

have a different story today. Being

transformed—he would preach openly

a pastor's daughter and a staunch

to his customers while selling his bread.

Christian, her best friend unfailingly invited my mother to church every

No, his newfound faith did not change

week—invitations my mother declined

his impoverished circumstances, but

as she had Chinese tuition on Sunday

it did change the way he viewed life's

mornings. One Sunday, tuition was

vicissitudes. It was a daily struggle

cancelled and my mother, left without

to make ends meet as he had eight

an excuse, finally went along. She

children. They could only afford to eat

liked it so much that she rescheduled

chicken once a year at the Chinese

her tuition class. This was how my

New Year. My late grandfather and

grandparents, who were fetching her

his brothers wore school uniforms

to and fro, ended up taking their own

sewn from discarded curtains and

tentative steps back into the church

bedsheets. Yet, I'm told my great-

and have remain ever since.

grandfather possessed great optimism and joy—always believing that God

These two testimonies illustrate to me

would faithfully provide for him and

what our Lord Jesus meant when he

his household. He imparted biblical

said, "… If you have faith as a mustard

truths to his young children daily and

seed, you will say to this mountain,

prayed with them. And on the occasions

'Move from here to there,' and it will

he received an earful from my great-

move; and nothing will be impossible

grandmother (due to the general lack

for you" (Matthew 17:20 NKJV). Never

of finances), he would gather with

underestimate the power of small

his children to sing together, "Jesus

actions, practised in daily life.

Loves Me". Such was the extent of his unshakeable faith in God.

It's said that our personal lives and journey with the Lord form the 67th

The gospel of salvation and legacy of

book of the Bible, and that non-

faith were what he left to his children,

Christians often look to the way

and the generations after. Through

Christians conduct themselves to assess

the grace of God, my family has

Christianity. I didn't really think much

been immensely blessed with much

about this until I began my studies in

more than we could have asked for

the UK in 2023. I became involved in the

or imagined. I'm gratified that my

Cambridge Chinese Christian Fellowship

extended family on my grandfather's

(CCCF) at university, attending weekly

side remains close. I'm even happier

Bible Studies and prayer meetings. At

that many of the clan are believers, with

the same time, I made friends who were

some involved in ministry work.

non-believers, who challenged me with

Despite my great-grandfather's

questions like "Why does God allow bad

influence, my grandfather strayed from

things to happen to good people?" and

the faith in his early adulthood. Were

"What exactly are the implications for

November 2024 Methodist Message 23

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WHAT IS THE GENERAL CONFERENCE What are Annual Conferences?

How big is The Methodist Church in Singapore?

What does being part of a connectional church mean?

Your questions, answered.

Join us as our MCS land comes alive in this explainer video.

Follow us

methodist.sg

methodist.org.sg /conferences

rich people in this parable?" (referring to

one another in prayer. They and other

Matthew 19:24 which says, "… it is easier

newcomers are now well-integrated

for a camel to go through the eye of

into my cell group. God taught me

a needle than for a rich man to enter

that my role in evangelism is simply to

the kingdom of God.") After many deep

journey with my friends, expose them

conversations, I decided to ask them to

to Christianity, and pray for the Holy

come along for Bible Study.

Spirit to convict their souls.

I first asked a good friend from primary

We face two possible realities as

school. While enthused by the prospect

Christians called to fulfil Christ's Great

of wolfing down home-cooked Sarawak

Commission. The first is failing to live

laksa for dinner, he expressed apathy

up to what Micah exhorted—to act

for the Bible Study to follow. I felt

justly, love mercy and walk humbly with

disappointed when he rejected my

our God (Micah 6:8). Such failure makes

invitations throughout a whole term.

us the kind of Christian criticised by Mahatma Gandhi— "I like your Christ,

But after months of praying, and

I do not like your Christians. Your

persistent asking, he finally agreed

Christians are so unlike your Christ."

on condition that he was not the only

The second reality is this soundbite

friend I brought along. Long story

from my friend when he was asked his

short, I managed to persuade another

opinion of the CCCF community: "You

friend to that seminal night when they

guys have a different focus in life. Many

enjoyed the warmth of my cell group,

here are motivated by careers, grades

the robust Bible Study discussion and

etc. You all, in contrast, look to God".

the short time of sharing how our

By God's grace, let us strive for such

week went and how we could support

truthful evangelism.

God taught me that my role in evangelism is simply to journey with my friends, expose them to Christianity, and pray for the Holy Spirit to convict their souls.

November 2024 Methodist Message 25

Rev Joey Chen is currently pastoring at Paya Lebar Methodist Church, and oversees the Family Life, Youth and Young Adult ministries.

Prior to pastoring, Rev Joey had stints in the public and private sectors doing communications work. She is married to Andrew, whom she met in seminary.

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, clinical supervisor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed MM’s You & Your Family column for more than 18 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

Sue-Lynn Teo is a registered psychologist with the Singapore Psychological Society and is trained in Educational and Developmental Psychology. She specialises in assessments and therapy work with children who have learning, behavioural or special needs.

She worships at Toa Payoh Methodist Church with her family.

Need advice? Scan the QR code or visit https://www.methodist.org.sg/mm-atthe-well/ to submit your question. Due to space constraints and repetition of topics, we may not be able to feature all questions submitted.

At The Workplace

My colleagues take advantage of my helpful nature I can't claim to be an ardent follower of Philippians 2:34 where it says we should consider others first before self, but I try. My peers at work, however, see this as my weakness and take advantage of it. Working in an NGO where teamwork is emphasised, my colleagues frequently request my help with their admin tasks—work I am not good at or like to do, and certainly not my core area of responsibility. While I am glad to help and grateful to God for his spirit working in me, I am in a dilemma as to how to cope with my real duties and not be appraised as under-performing or unhelpful. How should I manage being a good employee and still reflect Christ in me?  itCost2bConsiderate 26 Methodist Message November 2024

Joey says Dear itCost2bConsiderate, The context of Philippians 2:3-4 is very different from your work situation, so the application is tricky. In the Philippian church, the desire for selfglorification was threatening to fragment the Christian community.

Paul was exhorting them not to seek self-glorification but instead consider each other's needs as more important than their own. The expectation was that it would be mutual: they would care for each other.

There are some things that don't apply to the workplace. But we can apply the principle that as Christians, we should: (i) not seek personal glory, and (ii) look to the interests of others, and not just our own. Our gifts are given by God not only for our benefit but also to bless others. This means helping others in areas where we are strong, and when we have the bandwidth. If we are guarding our resources, we need to repent and choose generosity.

But it doesn't mean that you should do everyone else's work. Exercise wisdom in acceding to their requests for help: is your colleague in need of help (help them) or just passing off work that

Family

My child wants tuition even though she doesn't need it My child is doing decently in school.

However, she feels insecure about not having tuition, as many of her peers do.

We can afford it; I'm just not sure she needs it. Yet, it's become a sore point, and I wonder if she sees it as our lack of support. Maybe she is the ambitious type and won't settle until she is the top of the pack? What should I do?  Tuition Nation

Sue-Lynn says Dear Tuition Nation,

(s)he doesn't want to do (decline to be made use of)?

Find a good time to chat with your daughter to explore the underlying reasons why she

Your Christian witness in the

wants tuition (e.g. what does it mean to get

marketplace depends on how well

"good grades", what she thinks of herself

you do the work that has been

if she does or does not get those "good

assigned to you. Your organisation

grades"). Then, share with her your point

expects you to be responsible for your

of view and perhaps explore alternatives to

primary work. Put your work first, then

tuition (e.g. developing more effective study

consider helping your colleagues who

and/or time management skills, getting

genuinely need help.

guidance from her teachers or parents).

November 2024 Methodist Message 27

Next, help her understand the implications of having tuition (i.e. additional hours needed for tuition and tuition homework, whether she can manage it on top of her school schedule and other commitments).

Finally, if you both decide to go ahead with tuition, narrow down the specific subject or subject areas she wants to focus on, prioritise them in order of importance and decide on one or two tuition classes to start with. Prayerfully commit the joint decision to God and ask for continued wisdom and guidance. Her progress can be monitored and checkpoints set (e.g. mid-year, yearend) to reassess whether it is beneficial to continue with the tuition.

It is also important to continue to assure her that her inherent value does not lie in the grades she gets, but who she is in Christ and who she is as your child.

Benny says Dear Moneybags, Your hesitation to offer financial assistance to your relative reminds me of a proverb my wife often quotes, "Neither a borrower nor a lender be." I believe the intent of this saying is not to tell us to be tight-fisted but to exercise financial prudence. This poses a challenge for Christians, as we are encouraged to help others. I hear your concern that this form of helping may result in your relative stumbling as he seems to have the "habit of living beyond his means".

Sometimes good intentions to help others can inadvertently be a way of enabling bad behaviour to continue. The intention alone does not make the action of helping right.

Giving money to a needy drug addict may not help him feed himself but instead, feed his habit. Speaking of habits, those with "bad habits" have an uncanny and persistent way

Family

of seeking out those who are in a position

Relative who has questionable spending habits wants to borrow money

to accede to their requests. They invest a lot of energy in seeking assistance. Perhaps, a better way of helping is to suggest that this relative speak with a financial consultant to try living within his means.

My close relative has been facing financial difficulties for the past few years. He has approached different relatives or friends to ask for money. Some time back, he shared his challenges and asked me if I could loan him a sum of money. At that time, I told him that I was not able to as I did not have funds. Recently, he found out that I received a big payout and has asked to meet with me. I believe he will be asking for money again. I feel conflicted as he is nice and helpful to all and has done some favours for my family. But I question how he manages his expenses. I want to help but am I enabling him to continue a habit of living beyond his means?  Moneybags November 2024 Methodist Message 29

You and Your Family

Benny Bong has over 40 years of experience as a therapist, clinical supervisor and trainer. He also conducts regular talks and webinars.

Benny has helmed the You & Your Family column for more than 18 years and is a member of Kampong Kapor Methodist Church.

..................................... ..................................... ..................................... ..................................... ..................................... ..................................... ............................... ...............................

When emotions are

muted

T

wo couples I saw over two days have

soothing and placating this individual. In

features in common. Both couples are

such instances, the betrayer's feelings are

struggling with the crisis posed by infidelity.

often overlooked. But here too may be some

Both couples are in their early forties and

strong feelings such as shame, regret or even

have young children. All are are professing

anger at oneself at how things were allowed

Christians. And with both couples, I am

to spiral to this point.

addressing the area of emotions.

Such strong emotions, though common As can be expected, infidelity—especially

and expected, are not the only way couples

when the betrayal is not an isolated

respond. This is where I find myself focusing

occurrence—can unleash a whole range

with the two couples.

of emotions. There is the expected hurt, sadness, disappointment, disgust and anger

With one couple, the betrayer was the wife.

by the hurt party. These feelings may come

After several denials, she was finally caught

in waves and be punctuated by periods of

returning home from her lover's place when

calm when some hope is restored. They can

she was thought to be at her office. Like

be recycled several times.

something out of a movie, they caught sight of each other as their cars crossed paths. A

Often the hurt party's anguish is so dominant

dramatic car chase ended with the husband

that all attention is focused on assuring,

storming out of their home and staying

30 Methodist Message November 2024

away for a few days before returning of his

I had warned her that keeping a tight

own accord. The wife realised the extent of

lid on her emotions may lead to a

her actions and they have been trying to

time when they will be unleashed.

mend their marriage since then.

Our counselling sessions, which can be emotionally charged and have

A year on, and with the couple now seeing

uncertain outcomes, seek to provide a

me, I cannot help feeling that the husband's

space where the couple can talk about

emotions throughout the period have been

these strong emotions in a safe and

rather restrained and mild. Except for the one

constructive manner.

time when he unexpectedly left the home and family, and withdrew to himself, he is the

Unfortunately, the wife's readiness to talk

picture of a controlled person. When I asked

of her pain and disappointment more

about any feelings of anger or disappointment,

openly is met with much discomfort,

he shifted uncomfortably but said that he felt

unease and resistance by her husband.

these only mildly and seldom expressed them.

He admits that one of his weaknesses is fear of conflict. He always avoided

To be clear, I am not presuming that he

confrontation and in time, sought solace

is lying and refusing to admit to these

in the company of other women.

emotions. I am also not suggesting that he should fly off the handle, scold

As the husband now tries something

or beat his wife. What I do wonder is if

alien to him—to admit to his faults, take

these emotions are being locked away

personal responsibility and face his

somewhere within himself only to fester or

fears—he likens it to entering a tunnel

boil over one day in ways unexpected. In

and being unsure if he would see the

terms of their relationship, I also wonder

lights of an oncoming train.

if perhaps his muted emotions are a reason why his wife seems to address

These two cases speak of the importance

her own actions in a superficial manner

of good communication to help resolve

too. The superficiality of her addressing

issues. Some conversations may be about

her betrayal may in turn further fuel the

difficult matters such as deep-seated

husband's feelings of insecurity.

emotions and feelings towards others.

At times, we may have to have an inner

They are a lovely couple to work with. They

dialogue with ourselves first, to sort out

display attentiveness to each other and

our feelings before expressing them

obviously care a lot for one another. But their

clearly to others.

desire to rein in their emotions is perhaps not allowing their relationship to come to grips

Moreover, for such conversations

with some painful issues and then to heal.

to be constructive, they have to be welcomed by the other and received

For the other couple, the wife's initial

with thoughtful consideration instead

response to uncovering her husband's

of a quick counterattack. Speaking the

infidelity was one of shock. As she collected

truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) is loving

herself, her immediate concern was not to

only when the other party is open to it.

let the shock waves of her discovery send a

Seeking God's wisdom for an appropriate

tsunami into their children's lives.

time and place is key.

November 2024 Methodist Message 31

Walking alongside you with compassion and care

ESTABLISHED SINCE 2000

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:38–39

HOSANNA BREAVEMENT SERVICES PTD LTD

Jeffrey Tan worships at Toa Payoh Methodist Church and serves as an usher in the Evangelise ministry. / Photo courtesy of Jeffrey Tan

The role of an usher

"Hello! Welcome to church!"

This might be what you'll hear me say a lot of times on a Sunday as an usher.

Welcoming all who attend Sunday service and directing them to their seats is essentially what ushers do. However, there's a lot of thought that goes behind how ushers work together to provide the warm atmosphere as the first point of contact, when someone enters the sanctuary. Connecting with them through a handshake or smile helps make them feel welcome, but we also try to read their body language or facial expressions to see if they need extra help. Behind the scenes, we also tabulate how many people attend services each week and help with the collection of offerings.

Being an usher and working together with my team has been a meaningful and enjoyable experience for me. I've also experienced the joy of being a humble steward to God

Jeffrey with his children Joshua, Jonathan and his wife, Sue-Lynn

in helping create a welcoming worship atmosphere to the church community.

Kopi kakis by Lau Peng Leong, Yen Tun I and Zachary Yong

November 2024 Methodist Message 33

METHODIST SCHOOL OF MUSIC (MSM) OPEN HOUSE 23 November (Saturday), 10.30 a.m. – 3.00 p.m.

496 Upper Bukit Timah Road, #03-20 John Wesley Centre, S678099 bit.ly/musicforeveryoneday Free entry, with ticketed workshops Join the Methodist School of Music (MSM) for Music for Everyone Day, a half-day open house event that combines the excitement of a music fair with the opportunity to explore MSM's offerings. Whether you are a parent looking for music or dance lessons for your little ones, eager to try learning a musical instrument, or simply curious about MSM, there's something for everyone. Enjoy student performances and fringe activities, or dive deeper with hands-on, ticketed workshops (registration required). It is a perfect chance to experience MSM's nurturing environment and connect with our vibrant music community!

Organised by MSM

THE SIGNIFICANT COUPLE 5 February 2025 to 21 May 2025 (Alternate Wednesdays) Cru Centre, 18 Verdun Road, #03-01, S207280 Register by 14 January 2025 via https://mde.cru.org.sg/Event (Please look out for an acknowledgement email to complete your registration)

$140 (includes GST, non-refundable) Course Book: To be purchased separately from Media Ministry via https://mm.cru.org.sg/catalog.html Please note that there will be a compulsory course preview on 9 January 2025 (Thursday), 7.30 p.m. to 9.30 p.m. at Cru Centre (#03-01). During this session, you will get to know the facilitators and class members.

Course schedule for alternate Wednesdays, 7.30 p.m. – 9.30 p.m. 5, 19 February | 5, 19 March | 2, 16, 30 April | 7, 21 May The Significant Couple course is a nine-session life-coaching discipleship resource that helps Christian couples connect with God, discover their unique design, personal mission and how they can start living those out as individuals and as a couple.

This small group resource provides a community environment that encourages growth and personal life change— most helpful for couples who are searching for greater meaning, purpose, clarity in life direction and yearning to live a life of significance.

Organised by Cru Singapore

Watch this space in our December issue for Christmas updates and year-end activities!

If you have an exciting line-up of events planned, send them to us.

Email event details to communications@methodist.org.sg