Lip treatments
SCRUBS, MASKS & BALMS
THE SOBER CURIOUS MOVEMENT
WOULD YOU ASK A POTENTIAL PARTNER THEIR MAGIC NUMBER?
We have taken a piece of our island and transformed it into jewellery designs as special as the island itself. Hand-picked from the north coast of our island, polished by hand and lovingly set in sterling silver. Each stone has its own individual markings, making each piece truly unique. Inspired by Jersey’s landscape and locally designed. Each design is also available in our local Jersey black granite.
24 Queen St, St Helier (opposite big Boots store) www.aquajersey.com
Our Jersey granite flip flop is a perfect little reminder of strolls on Jersey’s beautiful beaches. Available in Jersey Pink & Black granite and set in sterling silver. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend, but so are flip flops! So we have also created this very cute design in 18ct gold with diamonds
La Corbiere Lighthouse
13. SHOPPING
Editor's picks of the hottest pieces right now
14. SPRING TRENDS
Psychedelic, dotty, stripes, safari
23. COLOURED LEATHER
Soften an otherwise tough look
24. HOW TO WEAR: BAGGY TROUSERS
A casual and smart approach
27. SEASON KEY PIECES
Everything you need to get you through the season ahead
30. PANTONE COLOUR OF THE YEAR
Classic blue is this year's go-to colour
31. FOLLOWING IN HIS FATHER'S FOOTSTEPS
George Willgrass has joined the family business, but with a modern twist
34. EDITORIAL: GARDEN TEA PARTY
Mark Stephenson photographs Chantelle Mundy at the Hotel de France
32. RAMONA C
Ramona Ciceoan tells Sophie Wilkinson about making her own music
41. MANNER BRIDAL
Wedding style, choosing your flowers, gift ideas, wedding photography
49. MANNER MINI
Mini style, Interviewing Mama, the nursery edit, Chanelle's birth story
55. LIP TREATMENTS
2020 is the year of the lip
59. BEAUTY BUZZ
The latest news, trends and products
60. NEON
Mark Stephenson photographs Ana Martin. Make-up by Kate Morrison
63. GOODBYE TO THE 'GRAM
Liana Shaw shares her reasons why she recently said goodbye Instagram
67. V-CARE
'It's not necessary to clean your vagina as thoroughly as you would your hands or face', explains Cliona Elliott
69. WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Liana Shaw talks about home DNA kits and the desire to know where you come from
70. BUILDING RESILIENCE
Profile: The Resilience Development Company
72. THE SOBER CURIOUS MOVEMENT
Cliona Elliott takes a look at the sober curious movement
75. GARDEN PROJECTS
Harriet Rouse shares her spring gardening tips
78. BOOK CLUB
Hannah Carolan's must-read books
79. MAKING YOUR FURNITURE YOUR OWN
Emily Smith looks at upcycling existing furniture
80. FOOD: SPRING RECIPES
Recipes by Christian Gott
82. THERE'S NO SAFETY IN NUMBERS
Bex Evans asks, 'is it OK to ask a potential partner their magic number?'
Our
100% Health
Conway Street, St Helier 01534 871588
Affinity
21 La Colomberie, St Helier 01534 626880
Amelie 19 Bath Street, St Helier 01534 610375
Aqua 24 Queen Street, St Helier 01534 735595
Crème St John 01534 862603
Chichi Boutique St Aubin 01534 490021
de Gruchy 50-52 King Street, St Helier 01534 818818
Little Star Liberty Wharf 01534 862114
Nautilus 39 Don Street, St Helier 01534 617976
Neptune Gorey Pier 01534 851243
Pour Toi 45a King Street, St Helier 01534 720110
The Gooseberry Bush Rondel's Farm Shop, Trinity 01534 726224
Products featured throughout Manner are subject to availability. Whilst all prices were correct at the time of printing, we cannot guarantee these prices haven't changed.
Editor Sophie Wilkinson 07829 828033
sophie@mannermagazine.co.uk
Sales Mark Wilkinson 07829 838844
mark@mannermagazine.co.uk
MannerJersey @Mannerjsy www.mannermagazine.co.uk
Up and Above Don Street, St Helier 01534 758808
Voisins 26-32 King Street, St Helier 01534 837100
Voisins Home Don Street, St Helier 01534 635300
With spring comes a flurry of pastels, florals and lighter fabrics in our wardrobes. A few notable trends for spring 2020 include psychedelic prints, polka dots, stripes and safari chic. Turn to page 25 where we show you how to wear baggy trousers with ease. Spice up your wardrobe with coloured leather (page 23) or a new, modern trench (page 27). Mark Stephenson beautifully captures Chantelle Mundy in our ‘tea party’ themed editorial full of bold colours and lustworthy hats. Unfortunately for us, the weather wasn’t on our side, so our planned outdoor shoot ended abruptly! The team at the Hotel de France were incredibly accommodating though, and we resumed shooting indoors (page 34). The afternoon tea is served in the Garden View Restaurant and Terrace between 2:30pm and 5:30pm and costs £17 for one guest or £30 for two. You can enjoy finger sandwiches, beautifully presented home-made cakes, scones and sweet pastry treats all served with a selection of fine loose leafed teas or your choice of coffee.
When a friend sent me a clip of her music, I was amazed to hear how incredible she was. I have known Ramona for the best part of 10 years, but embarrassingly I never knew she had this hidden talent. Having just released her own single ‘Don’t Worry About Me’, it was only natural that I’d want to catch up with her in person and find out more about her singing career. You can read the full interview on page 32.
It wouldn’t be spring without a Manner Mini and Manner Bridal feature. Not sure how to choose your wedding flowers? Ele Bonny, the senior wedding florist for Woodside Flowers shares her tips on page 42. Turn to page 44 for wedding gift inspiration and read all about how to get the perfect wedding photographs on page 46. In our Manner Mini section, you’ll find nursery ideas, an all-natural birthing story and a great article about the ups and downs of parenting by Sophie Young.
When it comes to well-being this issue is jam-packed with articles and useful information. With it becoming ever more clear how detrimental social media can be for our mental health, Liana Shaw shares her experience on saying ‘goodbye to the ‘Gram’ (page 63). With women now speaking more openly than ever about their health, Cliona Elliott looks at V care – the things we should and shouldn’t do to keep our vaginas healthy (page 67).
Whether you’re an avid gardener or a complete novice, Harriet Rouse shares her tips on spring gardening, including how to attract bees (page 75). This issue also includes information on the sober curious movement (page 80), spring recipes by Christian Gott (page 91) and Hannah Carolan’s book reviews (page 78).
As always, I hope you enjoy reading this issue and wish you a lovely spring.
Invest in a desk-smart straw bag that'll take you from the office to the beach.
£315, Kate Spade at Voisins
Images: Shutterstock/ Fashionstock.com, Ovidiu Hrubaru
The 60s are back with psychedelic prints – think retro colours and hippy patterns
Whilst polka dots might return every spring, 2020 is about mixing it up with various sizes and colours
Black and white or multicoloured? Horizontal, vertical or diagonal? The options are endless
We’re feeling the jungle vibes with neutral colours and pocket heavy outerwear
Seen at the likes of Givenchy and Kate Spade, coloured leather is going mainstream. The daring should opt for head to toe, whilst separates are great for the experimental.
Choose comfort and embrace the super wide leg trouser
Team with a blouse or a structured top. Puffy sleeves will help balance the look. Keep accessories minimal.
Go super casual and pair your trousers with a loose fitting t-shirt or knit.
Half tuck your top to help define the waist.
Everything you need to get through the season ahead
TRENCH
A spring classic, revived
£390, NEEDLE
AND THREAD
LARGE BAGS
It’s time for a bag that fits more than just your essentials
Mix different shades of denim with various materials and textures for a 2020 update
Peter Pan collars and loafers will complete your preppy look
The biggest accessory trend of the season
The Jersey Ormer shell (a true part of Jersey’s Heritage) contains naturally beautiful rainbow coloured mother of pearl. We have captured nature’s beauty and set it in sterling silver, bringing you some unique, locally designed jewellery. Inspired by the waves crashing against our sandy shores, and the laid back lifestyle we lead.
A genuine piece of Jersey that can be cherished forever
24 Queen St, St Helier (opposite big Boots store) www.aquajersey.com
"Instilling calm, confidence, and connection, this enduring blue hue highlights our desire for a dependable and stable foundation on which to build as we cross the threshold into a new era."BAG £302, MARC JACOBS AT VOISINS OPAL BRACELET £128, AQUA MATCHES £6, WWW.GIFTS.JE CUSHION £49.99, AFFINITY OVEN GLOVES £24.50, AMELIE DRESS £166.50, GANT AT DE GRUCHY MASCARA £20, BENEFIT AT DE GRUCHY
George Willgrass has joined the family business, but he's approaching the trade with a modern-day twist.
Born the son of a jeweller, it was inevitable that George Willgrass would follow in the footsteps of his father; Anthony Willgrass and grandfather Sidney Willgrass. By using social media, videos and blogs, George hopes to pursue the jewellery trade in a more modern-day form.
By using suppliers and manufacturers related to his father's business, George has been able to source and supply highend watches and jewellery to his friends and colleagues worldwide. "I have travelled a lot over the past two years and met a lot of high net worth individuals in different fields. Most recently I spent time in Dubai and met one of the most prestigious jewellers in the world who was happy to offer advice about networking and building relationships."
Having attended Millfield Prep and Millfield School, George was introduced to fellow pupils of different backgrounds, nationalities and cultures, many of whom he still sees regularly.
Excitingly, George has sourced an exclusive brand of handmade jewellery from Paris "Atelier Paulin" which is available from Stott and Willgrass. The brand is extremely appealing to all clientele with prices ranging from £100 up to £5000 plus. "All items can be made in 14ct rose and yellow gold and 18ct rose and yellow gold. The unique concept of Atelier Paulin is that we are able to hand-make bespoke items such as necklaces, bracelets and rings for requested specifications. The most popular request being names, initials and symbols entwined on the item. The pieces make for perfect presents, whether you're looking for a friend, partner or parent - they are also great for wedding
and christening presents. In addition, precious stones can be added to enhance a particular item and make it exclusive to the individual."
A range of products are available at Stott and Willgrass, York Street, as well as special orders for bespoke items and collections.
Sophie Wilkinson talks to Ramona Ciceoan about her desire to make her own music, mixing pop with folkloric styles to pay tribute to her Romanian heritage.
After knowing Ramona for over 10 years, I’m a little embarrassed that I didn’t know how well she sang. She’s not just good, she’s really good. When I was forwarded a clip of her new track ‘Don’t Worry About Me’, I was astounded at how brilliant she is and knew instantly that I wanted to speak to her about her talent.
When I met Ramona she was just as I remember – bubbly, chatty and awfully stylish. I ask her where she purchased her diamanté clad jeans from and was amazed to hear that she had customised them herself - she later told me her father was a tailor and her mother makes folkloric costumes, so it’s no surprise she has an eye for fashion and a unique style.
Before we start talking about anything interview-esque, Ramona whips out her phone and immediately beams about her new housemate. By housemate, she means her friend’s Sphynx cat she is currently looking after. “I’m not normally a cat person, but I just love her. I can’t wait to get home and play with her and feed her. She sits on my lap and purrs, she’s just so cute! Look…..” She coo’s and ahh’s whilst showing me picture after picture of her new friend. I’m also not a cat person, so I respond with pictures of my baby – as any overly proud mother would!
Once we’ve finished gossiping, we turn the conversation to Ramona’s musical journey.
Born in Cluj, the heart of Transylvania, Romania, Ramona Ciceoan was raised by a musical family, with both her parents being singers and dancers.
“My parents were pretty lucky, even though we lived in a communist country with closed borders, they had the opportunity to travel through Europe with the folkloric organisation they were involved in. I also got to travel with them for short periods of time and I really gained an understanding of this type of lifestyle, how much joy it can bring to both the performers and public.”
Ramona is very close to her family; you can tell by the admiration in her voice as she shares stories of her childhood. “I was lucky to have 2 sets of grandparents who lived in the countryside in Maramures and near Cluj Napoca, a village called Orman. My brother and I would spend every summer helping our grandparents with work and experiencing what I can only describe as the best childhood a child can have; being surrounded by love, good food, a healthy environment, animals, but also understanding the importance of hard work.”
Despite a background in folklore music and an understanding of country life and traditions, Ramona has always had a soft spot for pop music. “I remember going to the market with my father and asking him to buy me my first tape – it was Mariah Carey’s 1st album –Vision of Love. I was about 9 or 10 and I would sing along to every song over and over! After Mariah, I fell in love with Celine Dion and Whitney Houston – they are my 3 biggest idols!”
When Ramona was 17, she and her family released an album of folklore Christmas Carols, something she says she is grateful they managed to achieve as it was one of her father’s dreams. From here, Ramona continued with recording folklore music, but also started studying pop and soul as well as entering contests around Romania.
“ I entered a contest “Rain of Start”, where you have to pretend to be a megastar. I was Jennifer Rush and sang Power of Love – I got as far as the semi-finals. I had family from all over travel to Bucharest to support me – that was a proud moment!”
In 2013, Ramona sadly lost her father. “I have to say I feel extremely blessed and grateful for having had such great parents who offered me and my brother the very best upbringing. They raised us with strong beliefs in common sense, modesty, honesty, respecting people and being thoughtful. I just thank GOD and the universe every day for having had such a good start in life and for the blessings I receive daily. My father was a well-known singer and a very loved and good person. He was a great spirit, always making people smile around him. We were left with a huge hole in our hearts when he passed away, however, we do have great memories, so we are very thankful for those. An experience like this opens your eyes and shows you that you only have this current moment.”
Ramona never intended on leaving Romania, but shortly after her father’s passing, she decided she would like to work in Jersey for a year, before heading back and continuing with her musical journey. Apparently, life had different plans for her though, and 13 years later she now holds a British passport and considers Jersey her second home with her long term partner, Tony.
Ramona has always worked 2-3 jobs to ensure that one day she’ll be in the position to focus on her music. Whilst working in The Drift, Ramona was able to meet various people in the music industry, which helped her start her singing career on the island. Ramona recalls one particular charity event that had various singers who were rehearsing all day, and she wanted to know how to get involved. After approaching AJ Fells (a composer/ songwriter) she was given the opportunity to audition to become the lead singer in a local band, ZED.
“We played in various venues around Jersey, from pubs and hotels to wedding parties. After two years, myself and two other members, husband and wife duo - Steve and Caroline, started our own band, Skyline – I was the singer, Carrie was on saxophone and Stevie was on the keyboard. I feel blessed to have met them, they are the greatest friends and family I could ask for, we just had the most amazing times together.”
After 5 years of playing covers and their own songs around Jersey and Romania, Ramona decided to take a step back to focus on her solo career.
Ramona has recently formed a long term collaboration with a Romanian DJ, Victor Biliac and Eduard Serei to produce their own tracks under her stage name, Ramona C. “We have just finished our first song together, ‘Don’t Worry About Me’, and are currently working on our second song. I’m also in the process of creating the video for our first track, so I’m very excited about that! I have also just started a collaboration with Sax Show Orchestra by TzikaSax - we are organising parties from weddings and work do’s to concerts. They are a great team who I am very honoured to work with.”
Ramona has recently decided to take a break from her fulltime job this year so she can concentrate on her music and spend some time soul searching.
“I love travelling and reading and want to spend some time doing that as well as volunteering. I want to write down all the experiences I’ve had over the last 13 years and turn them into music. I’m very passionate about my heritage so I want to mix folkloric music with pop and various styles in order to make Romanian themes well-known across the globe. When it comes to music, I strongly believe there is beauty in each individual style, wherever there is soul, there can’t be fault.”
"I strongly believe there is beauty in each individual style, wherever there is soul, there can’t be fault."
Flowing fabrics and bold colours give spring a boost in the right direction. Feeling fancy? Add a show-stopping hat to your shopping list for those upcoming summer parties
LOCATION: HOTEL DE FRANCE
PHOTOGRAPHER: MARK STEPHENSON | MODEL: CHANTELLE MUNDY HAIR: DAMIAN PHILPOTT, ALCHEMY HAIR | MAKEUP: CLAUDIA MARTINS, DE GRUCHY
Dress £288, Self-Portrait at Voisins Hat £95 , Up and Above
Dress £79, Chichi
Headband £49, Up and Above
Dress £240, Armani Exchange Hat £160
Helen Kaminski both at Nautilus
01534 626880
21 La Colomberie, St Helier, Jersey
Harriet and Rose has recently launched a bespoke bridal accessories service to run alongside its existing wedding gift finder.
With her background in bridal accessories, Harriet is perfectly placed to create the hairband, vine or tiara that you’ve got in your head, but haven’t yet been able to find. What’s more, you can do it without you having to leave the island and without the worry that something you’ve ordered online might not be what you’d hoped for.
“Your wedding accessories are the perfect way for you to make sure that your outfit for the day truly reflects your style. With no other bespoke bridal accessories available in Jersey we launched bridal accessory service in January 2020. We don’t believe that you should have to compromise or worry that what you’ve seen online won’t quite measure up in real life.
“Just as you can customise your dress, or your flowers, we believe that you should be able to have the hairband, vine, comb or pins that look exactly how you want them too. Based here in Jersey, we’ll meet with you, discuss what you are looking for, and then create the perfect accessory for your big day.”
With prices starting at just £50 for a large pin or small hair vine, you can contact the team at Harriet and Rose to enquire about availability at harriet@harrietandrose.co.uk
www.harrietandrose.co.uk
Visit Jo Malone London in Voisins and let the wedding specialist, Lainah Penttila, help you find your perfect wedding day scent.
Our favourite? Wild Bluebell. "Vibrant sapphire blooms in a shaded woodland. The delicate sweetness of dewy bluebells suffused with lily of the valley and eglantine, and a luscious twist of persimmon. Mesmerising."
flower
that
2020 is proving to be a popular year for weddings and once your outfit has been bought it’s time to think accessories. Nothing completes the look more than a great headpiece. The choice at Up and Above is fab this year and we called in the day after a new delivery. Loved the oversized headbands which look great with an off-centre low chignon and the new large flower discs were the perfect look for most face shapes. It is important to have your dress with you when choosing your millinery as it is often the unexpected that looks fabulous, think coral with venetian blue or fuchsia with black and white.
Up and Above, 50 Don Street, St Helier | 01534 758808
Peonies, roses, lilies. Where to start?
Ele Bonny, the Senior Wedding Florist for Woodside Flowers Ltd shares her tips on choosing your wedding flowers...
Choosing your flowers is one of the most exciting parts of wedding planning, but it can be overwhelming if you’re a complete novice. Ensuring you have a rough starting idea of what you want is so important, but bear in mind, there are a few things you should consider when choosing your wedding flowers:
It’s always a good idea to get some inspiration if you're not sure of the exact style or trend you want - Pinterest and Instagram are great for this. It will also help you get an idea of the current trends. When you meet with your florist it's best if you come with some fundamental general ideas of style which they will then help you build on and develop, so together you can achieve your vision.
You may have dreamed of a traditional, big white wedding or even a chilled out bohemian style. Whatever style you go for, the florist will advise you on the flowers in season at the time of your wedding to suit your overall theme. Sometimes the theme is influenced by the time of year, for example, spring flowers are going to be very different from autumnal and Christmas flowers.
The florist will work with you to achieve a bespoke quote that works around your budget. There are tips that can help you get the most out of your budget, including utilising the floral décor to its maximum by having it at the ceremony and the reception. If you have several bridesmaids you can reuse their bouquets around the reception venue. Hiring additional décor items, which is often a possibility with your chosen florist, can also save a few pounds. Plus the added bonus of hiring from the florist is that the florist will install these and then take them away after the wedding which saves you any extra stress!
Every couple is unique, therefore, there is no setlist as to what is ‘needed’ or ‘must-haves’ when it comes to your wedding and it's important to keep reminding yourself along the way that it is your wedding and should be done the way you want to do
it. It is, however, common for the florist to suggest the features of a bridal bouquet and bouquets and buttonholes for the members of the wedding party. It's also nice to have table centrepieces or arrangements at the reception as this helps to provide a continuous theme with the chosen style of the wedding and helps in adding to the atmosphere.
Ensuring your flowers are personal to you can be as simple as them being in your favourite colours or by adding a small photo charm of a loved one to the handle of your bouquet so you carry that person with you. You may choose flowers that remind you of fond childhood memories or a loved one. Flowers or herbs can be used for their scent. Myrtle, the herb of love, was introduced into bridal bouquets by Queen Victoria and is a tradition still in place at Royal weddings today. Rosemary is also a popular choice in bridal bouquets today.
The first step to planning your wedding is to secure the date with your chosen venue, especially if the ceremony and reception are to be at separate locations as you need to ensure that your chosen date is available at both and at compatible times of the day. It's then wise to secure a florist and photographer as both get booked up in advance. Florists will appreciate that life cannot always be planned far in advance and there are occasions where planning is last minute, if this is the case, contact your chosen florist and enquire as they may be able to help.
The team at Woodside love helping couples to achieve their ideals on their special day and will always do their best to try and meet all your floristry needs. For a free wedding consultation with an experienced wedding florist and free bespoke quotes based on your ideas and budget, contact Woodside Flowers by phone or email.
01534 863451 | enquiries@woodsidefarmshop.com
This star map is the perfect wedding present. The map shows a completely accurate depiction of where the stars, planets and constellations were situated at the exact moment and location of your choosing. to take pride of place on the wall of any home. It could be the day the happy couple met, the day they got engaged or their wedding day. It's the time that feels most important to them.
£45, www.gifts.je
Wedding photographers (and recent newlyweds), Sophie and Dean Darwin give their insight into how to get the best photographs for your special day.
So how do you get the best wedding photos? Is it a matter of finding the best photographer or spending as much money as possible? Here are our top five tips for getting the best wedding photos possible.
Connection is everything
Jersey has an awesome amount of photography talent and there are so many different styles and abilities around. In our opinion, we don’t think it comes down to style, experience or even ability (sure those things are important) but right at the top of your tick list should be who is the best match for you. It’s about finding someone who you will feel comfortable sharing the biggest day of your life with and who will be able to make you laugh and you’re totally relaxed with. In our opinion connection is everything.
If you find the right match for you, you'll trust their ability implicitly and know that they will capture your day perfectly. Photographers are creative and to get those special shots you’re hoping for means we need a little bit of headspace. If we're busy second-guessing ourselves or trying to follow instructions then we can't create to the best of our ability. Trust that we are giving you everything we have. And if we ask you to nip out for 10 minutes it's because the light is so amazing and you're going to get an epic shot. Sometimes even dessert can wait ten minutes for a glimpse of that golden light!
Your wedding will be crazy and will go faster than you expected. You will be so busy chatting and enjoying your day to the absolute max, that you won’t remember to tell your photographer that you’re wearing your mum’s necklace or that you want a photo with your best pal. So make sure to tell your photographer everything you’re planning. Nothing is too insignificant. The more they know, the more detailed and sentimental your gallery will be.
As well as letting them know the things you want them to capture, also make sure to let them know the things you don’t. If you have any awkward family situations (don’t worry, we all do) or things you want to be avoided, just keep them in the loop. Saves any awkward moments on the day.
So not specifically photography related but a super important piece of advice in our eyes, don’t be a slave to the traditions that don’t bring you joy. If you don’t want to cut the cake or have a first dance then that’s OK, your gran will get over it! Equally, if you’d prefer to walk down the aisle together or sing The Beatles ‘All you Need is Love’ during the ceremony then DO IT! It’s your day, don’t be afraid to make your wedding unique to you.
Don’t get us wrong, we LOVE a bit of Pinterest when it comes to inspiration but don’t get too hung up on wanting specific shots. Enjoy the moment and focus on each other and forget the camera. If you're relaxed and happy it will shine through in your images. Happiness can't be posed. Love can't be created. And these two things will provide you with the best wedding photos you could ever hope for.
To find more of Sophie and Dean’s wedding and family photography visit www.sophiedarwin.co.uk
The award-winning Miosolo from Bambino Mio is a simple, stylish and super soft all-in-one reusable nappy which is as easy to use as a disposable. The nappy comes in one size, meaning it will grow with your baby from birth to potty training.
£15.99, www.bambinomio.co.uk
Cool and carefree, these children’s sunglasses were inspired by Polaroid's popular adult styles yet designed to meet the needs of kids. Polarised lenses provide protection for even the most sensitive eyes, for crystal-clear vision at any time of day. Could they be any more adorable?
Available from Harry Foster
You drink out of a mason jar and never wear socks with your loafers. Why stop there? Pass the hipster mantle on to the next generation. This is the perfect gift for any parent to be, you may be surprised to find out that you're more hipster than you thought!
£9.99, WWW.GIFTS.JE
Bébé French classes offer a fun and multi-sensory experience for parents, carers, toddlers and babies to interact with a new language and discover new sounds and cultural experiences that will see them thrive. Studies have shown that in just 12 social interactions with another language, babies can be as capable of recognising sounds and words in that language as those who have it as their maternal tongue!
For more information and class details visit www.bebefrench.com
After struggling with the ups and downs of motherhood, Sophie Young launched Interviewing Mama - a podcast where she interviews a different mother each week and discusses their experiences. Sophie shares her story
It’s a funny thing motherhood. Sometimes you feel like you’re absolutely nailing it - like you’re a step ahead. The laundry basket is empty, you’re zooming off to playdates and classes, you’re on time for everything – you’re even wearing matching underwear and buying organic avocados. You are totally handling it, and life is wonderful.
But then you hit a bump in the road, and you’re suddenly left wondering again just how you ever thought you could do this. Life starts moving too quick, the broken sleep starts catching up with you, and Jesus - where did this kid’s attitude come from? The nights just got longer, and the mother load a whole lot heavier. But the thing about mothers? They will still get up and show up every single day - no matter what.
And although the mum guilt eats us alive every time we sit on our phone when we could be playing, or when we spend an extra minute in the bathroom just to bloody breathe - it is okay. It is okay to sometimes just be an ‘okay’ mum. It is okay to feel overwhelmed and to look forward to bedtime. it is okay to not love every single part about motherhood because you are absolutely and immensely in love with every single inch of your child’s entire being. In all the chaos and doubt that motherhood brings, you walk around each day with a piece of your heart existing outside of your chest. That is a pretty big deal.
Becoming a mum, I struggled with the rollercoaster. I wanted to be the perfect mum. The mum that had clean hair and drank green juice at 7am, who attended all the playgroups and who definitely never swore in front of her child. Well, that went to shit. I couldn’t understand how everyone else seemed to find this mothering thing so easy ALL of the time - until I realised, I was looking in the wrong places. I was setting myself unrealistic expectations by following the wrong kind of people on social media. It became important to me to surround myself with the mother kind who share the real stresses and struggles of motherhood, and to be a voice that did the same.
*DISCLAIMER - we are allowed to moan when things are hard, and it means we are authentic and doesn’t mean we don’t love our children - ok??
After turning my Instagram into an almost ‘honest parenting blog’, and connecting with other amazing honest motherhood bloggers I realised just how powerful sharing the ups and downs could be for other mums who felt alone in their struggles. And so - Interviewing Mama was born!
I started my live Instagram show and podcast in February, where I interview a different inspirational mother each week on their real and raw motherhood experiences. The highs, the lows and breaking the taboo of mums discussing their struggles. Episode 1 brought an interview with Hannah (@hannahlouisevans) on which we spoke about her weaning journey and new baby recipe e-book (Moons Meals), and her challenges facing first time motherhood without her mother. Episode 2 was with Jess (@jessicahayes), we spoke about breastfeeding, relationships and the navigating of motherhood under the pressures of a large audience. On Episode 3 I interviewed Tiffany (@tiffanyhughes) about being a young solo mama and her highs and lows of first-time motherhood. Episode 4 was with Carly (@thefitmummytotheo) who is a personal trainer, and pre / post-natal fitness advisor with an e-book on Diastasis Recti (www.thefitmummy.co.uk). We spoke all about honest parenting blogging, and her traumatic birth experience. Episode 5 was a very personal one, I interviewed my mum on her motherhood journey and the struggles she has faced and overcame, and what it was like becoming a nana.
Interviewing Mama is streamed live on Sophie’s Instagram @sophiejaneyoung on Sunday’s at 3pm. You can also catch up on Apple podcasts.
AVOCADO JITTER £15.99, THE GOOSEBERRY BUSH
WOODEN MOBILE £9.99, THE GOOSEBERRY BUSH
Picking out items for your dream nursery is a fun and inspiring part of pregnancy. Here are some of our favourites to get you on your way.
BUILDING BLOCKS
SWEET DREAMERS EWAN SHEEP SLEEP AID £39.99, BOOTS
Chanelle Heyneke and her husband, Gerrit, attended a Hypnobirthing course with Positive Birth Jersey, which they say gave them confidence and a sense of peacefulness. Chanelle shares her birthing story.
Ihit 39 weeks on 4th July 2019. My hubby and I chose to spend the day at the beach in St Brelade, to enjoy some last memorable times alone together. We went out on his stand-up paddleboard. Well, why not? I felt adventurous and could still quite easily move around! I sat and he paddled. Very easily we flowed with the water. People heading back towards the beach looked at us and smiled; I thought to myself 'is this strange to do this at 39 weeks pregnant? I mean, I could go into labour any time, or what if my waters break? Would I even know?' All these thoughts ran through my mind. At the same time, I just felt really brave and ‘in the moment’.
When we decided to turn around, the wind had picked up and we weren't moving at all. To keep it short, we ended up around the corner of the pier on a little stranded piece of beach and my husband and I had to climb over rocks to get to a place where we could get into the water again! I timed the waves splashing against the rocks and jumped up on the board. It was very adventurous and a bit scary at the same time! Luckily, I managed to get on the board the first time and Gerrit followed. The Holy Spirit was with us and I knew we were perfectly safe. I trusted God through everything.
This whole escapade went on for over an hour, and the friends we were with had come searching for us as they were worried. But, safe at last, and such a fun memorable story to have. I still believe that the whole experience and rush of adrenaline had an affect on the start of my labour.
As soon as I opened my eyes on Wednesday 17th July 2019 I felt a light period-like cramp. It felt different from the general cramps and twitches during pregnancy, but my husband and I went about our normal day's activities.
I continued getting these light surges but did not want to make a big deal out of them as I had read up on so many birth stories and advice. I wanted to keep the good hormones coming and stay in a calm state of mind, so I showered, got myself ready and took a few photos of my '39 weeks 3 days' bump - if you know me, you'll know I want EVERYTHING captured on camera!
I had arranged to do my friend Nadine's nails at 1pm at her place, and as we all live in the same building, we invited our other friend, Marijcke to join for a catch-up. I decided to take my FREYA app with me so I could start timing my surges. I tried to do this secretly but quickly they realised something was up. I remember them looking at each other and thinking, 'Shit, this is it. It is happening!'. We had a bit of a laugh, and I paused now and then to flow with the surge and carried on doing her nails when it passed.
I got home around 3.30pm, at which time my surges were getting stronger. I messaged Gerrit and asked him to head straight home after work as I didn't want to be alone. We thought of everything we had learnt at Hypnobirthing, which helped immensely - I stayed calm and confident during the whole experience. I had something to eat, drank water and ate a protein energy bar. I took two paracetamols and went to lie down to rest between the surges. After speaking to the midwife we decided to stay at home as long as possible, so Gerrit filled a warm bath for me with lavender essential oils, which I rather enjoyed! The surges had slowed down a bit but I didn’t get too worried, instead, I used the time to relax and get a few minutes rest.
After getting out of the bath at around 7:30pm, I lied on the bed in my towel, Gerrit next to me, timing my surges. After an hour passed, we rang the hospital and were told to go in. I remember feeling excited but also a bit nervous!
Once admitted, Gerrit messaged both our parents and siblings - they live abroad so I knew we would have the intimacy and privacy we wanted.
By now, the surges were very intense, so I lay on the bed just feeling the linen on my skin. It soothed me somehow. We turned off the lights and displayed our battery operated tea lights, filled the room with our lavender essential oil diffuser and played my Hypnobirthing music playlist. This consisted of a few Hypnobirthing instrumental tracks as well as a few stories and, of course, my favourite praise and worship songs. I got into a state of complete mindfulness, just focusing on myself, knowing my husband was right beside me.
I did try the gas and air, but I didn’t like it at all as it disturbed my rhythm of breathing and coping. Once the midwife had told me I was 6cm dilated, I felt a bit relieved and asked for the birthing pool to be prepared.
The birthing pool
I loved the feeling of the warm water on my skin and body, it relaxed and comforted me so much. Again the room had dimmed lights and Gerrit brought all our things from the other room. Tea light candles, and my playlist which I am sure the midwives and Gerrit were sick of listening to over and over - it really helped me, though. I heard one or two choruses and that would be enough to keep me strong and get me through yet another surge. I had a lovely midwife and a student midwife and felt so lucky to have two lovely, calm women there with me. They respected all my birth preferences and were very professional at the same time.
I wore my red nightdress which was super comfy and stretchy, and something familiar so I felt like 'me' in it. My positions consisted of squatting and hanging over the edge of the pool. I took sips of water in-between surges, and the two midwives measured our heart rate frequently.
By now my surges were intense. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to get it over with. I kept on repeating the birth affirmations, 'the surges are not happening to me, my surges cannot be stronger than me, they are me' and 'the surges are real but it is not dangerous, just breathe through them.'
My husband sat with me in the pool for a while. I did not want any touch or massage, I just wanted him close. I was so tired and felt like I couldn’t continue for much longer. Not long after, I experienced an intense and uncontrollable urge to push. I remember it feeling amazing, I had no words. The midwife explained that I should stay down in the water for the birth; when you get these urges to push you naturally want to move or stand up a bit. I was tired of squatting but I knew I had to push through.
I felt the head coming out slightly before going back in which made me feel quite scared as I wasn't sure if I was doing it right. I stayed calm though, and with the next surge I pushed hard and pop, the head came out! I could feel his head and hair, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. I also thought, ‘wow, his head is out, it wasn’t that hard!’ - a rollercoaster of emotions. As he had moved position, I had to stand for one final push. Hector was birthed quick and easy at 1:52am on Thursday 18th July.
A few seconds after Hector was born, he gave us the most beautiful crying sound I would ever hear and we held him close in our arms, with a feeling of love, achievement and totally in awe. It was the most intense and heartfelt experience of my life. A moment my husband and I will share forever. I was a little sad that I couldn't catch my baby myself in the
water and bring him up to my chest with the cord still attached, but it was pretty close and I knew these were just preferences. Giving birth is unpredictable and I had the chance of having the birth that I dreamed of, so for that, I am so thankful.
No one ever really talks about the placenta. After spending a little time with my husband and son, I started to get surges again. With the midwife's advice, I squatted low and the placenta was out. I remember apologising for all the blood on the white towels! Once we were in one of the delivery rooms, my beautiful baby boy lay on my chest breastfeeding whilst the midwife checked me over. It turned out I needed to go into surgery because I had quite a bad tear.
My husband was so supportive. I loved that he had a calmness around him and sureness when we had to make decisions. It was about three hours, a spinal block and catheter later and then I could hold Hector again and breastfeed him while chatting away. I felt good. Just extremely tired. The doctors were amazing!
I was in the hospital for a total of four nights. The first night was quite terrifying, I didn’t want my husband to leave. I remember thinking, 'I am now fully responsible for this tiny human being, not the midwives, I can’t just sleep.' Gerrit returned in the morning and stayed until late, bringing snacks and cold drinks with him every time. My first shower was strange, I was surprised at how much blood there still was. I felt amazing afterwards, and more like myself once I had put cream and mascara on.
On Sunday 21st July, we excitedly walked home - the moment was too big to describe. OUR baby is in his bassinet stroller, sleeping, on our way home! My legs felt heavy and light at the same time, but my heart felt even fuller.
"We held him close in our arms, with a feeling of love, achievement and totally in awe."
2020 is the year of the lip with new products such as masks and scrubs surfacing daily
There’s nothing worse than dry, flaky, chapped lips, which is why most of us have dozens of pots and tubes of lip balm lying around the house and in the bottom of our bags.
Factors like sun exposure, hormonal changes, and dry air all lead to chapped lips that feel like sandpaper, and according to leading aesthetic doctor Dr Esho, lips are the second most important facial feature. “First people notice the eyes, then it’s straight to the lips,” he says. “That’s why it’s not only important to take care of your lips, but also feel confident about them.”
So, whether you’ve just finished your favourite lip balm or you’re looking for an even more nourishing solution, we have you covered.
Scrubs are great for buffing away dry skin but stick to natural ingredients like salt and sugar for a more gentle approach. Dermatologist, Dr Patel warns against artificial microbeads due to their environmental impact. In addition, “crushed shells such as walnut and apricot pits could actually cause more micro-tears on the lips, and therefore are not recommended.” Ingredients like coconut oil, jojoba oil, avocado oil, beeswax, lanolin, and pure petrolatum help coat and protect exfoliated skin, she adds. Like the skin on your face, you don’t want to over-exfoliate your lips. For best results, Dr Patel recommends exfoliating your lips once a week.
Powered by cannabis sativa seed oil, this magic lip scrub works to renew dry, chapped lips. The dual exfoliating formula gently lift impurities and hydrate. The encapsulated pigment will burst and dissolve onto the lips leaving behind a beautiful balmy soft tint. Protect chapped lips against daily environment stressors whilst looking cute. Your lips will love you!
Overnight treatments are rich and hydrating and are designed to reinforce your lip moisture barrier for a softer and smoother feel, while sheet masks that mould to your lips offer a quick-fix and are intensely hydrating.
Wake up to smoother looking lips with an overnight lip treatment. Rich and hydrating, this lip mask smooths on and helps to rehydrate lips while you sleep. Formulated with fairly traded coconut oil and wild Mango Butter, apply a generous layer at bedtime or use throughout the day as desired. This lip mask can also be used as a 15-minute preparation for a daytime lip balm. Let your dry lips feel nourished and softened while you sleep!
Pucker up and give your lips some love. This bio-cellulose lip mask from The Ritual of Holi creates a luscious look and is great for all skin types. Enjoy its delicious scent right under your nose and let the aloe vera quench your skin's thirst. Gently unfold and remove the two protective sheets and apply the mask onto cleansed lips. Leave on for as long as you can keep your mouth closed, but aim for 15-20 minutes. Remove the mask and gently massage any excess product into the skin. Works as a great primer before lipstick or lip gloss.
Lip balms have always been a handbag must-have, but lately, the options seem limitless with various scents, colours and promises to protect and nourish the lips.
The refreshing La Mer The Lip Balm contains the brand’s famous skin-regenerating Miracle Broth, and is still a worldwide best-seller even after ten
years. Refreshing at first touch, this mint-scented, velvet-soft balm infuses the lips with intensive moisture, leaving them supple, smooth and plump. Crafted with cell-renewing Miracle Broth™, this essential treatment calms, restores and conditions skin, transforming with the most tender touch.
The majority of matte lipsticks can be drying on the lips, especially liquid ones that also crack as the day goes on. If you have naturally dry lips you may need to apply a lip balm first. When picking a lipstick, choose one that offers hydration and moisture as well as a hint of colour. If you're still not sure about the matte look, opt for a gloss or oil.
This nourishing glossy lip oil enhances, intensifies and protects the lips, providing long-lasting wear that brings out their natural colour. Its non-sticky, non-greasy texture enriched with cherry oil provides the comfort of an intense lip care, the mirror shine of a gloss and the colour of a lip balm.
Centella Asiatica, or cica as it’s more commonly known, is a leafy green herb that has been used for centuries to treat wounds. Cica creams help soothe and repair irritated skin, including treating acne and calming sensitive skin.
From fresh manicures to kooky designs, nail art is the latest trend in menswear. A$AP Rocky and Harry Styles are just a couple of the celebrities jumping on board, proving that the trend is no longer just for women.
A hydrating and nourishing treatment
cream for face, hands and body.
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Instantly lifts and smooths the eyes.
Cream skin refers to a product type, best described as a tonermoisturiser hybrid. While the name might suggest a creamy texture, a cream toner is a lightweight, milky liquid, blended to absorb quickly and comfortably into the skin. Plus, like with any hybrid product, cream toners come with a multi-tasking benefit, allowing you to achieve dewy, hydrated, and healthy skin in fewer steps and with fewer products. The idea is that the product preps and softens the skin like a toner and moisturises like a cream to offer enough hydration that you won’t need to apply anything else afterwards.
SOOTHING TONER £21.90,ELEMIS AT FEEL UNIQUE
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TONING LOTION £19.25, CLARINS AT VOISINS
Step up your makeup game with neon pigments. A neon lip is great for a simple look, but for extra impact opt for a two-tone eye or holographic sticker.
My finger hovered over the button on the screen. Was I really about to do this? Then, with a single determined movement, I pressed ‘delete’ – and my life was changed forever…
Ok, so it wasn’t quite as dramatic as this, but I must admit that my heart had a little flutter when I saw the notice “we’re sorry to see you go” pop up on my screen. I had just deleted Instagram.
I had decided to delete Instagram and cut down on my social media use as a personal choice even before writing this
article. Partly because I didn’t have time to maintain a feed to the standard that I wanted to deliver, but also because being on social media was, well, exhausting. I hadn’t used Snapchat in years and although I kept Facebook, how I used it was definitely changing. But Instagram? It was time to let it go.
In a way, I’m glad I grew up before the big technology boom. I work around children and young people and their insight into the world and social media is fascinating –and at times, concerning. When I wanted information or entertainment as a kid,
I mostly hit the books or had to wait for family to get off the phone (the joy of dialup). As a teen, yes, there was Myspace and MSN chat, but most conversations were had over the landline (attached to the wall with a cord) at set times, so it’s not like I could be talking to my friends late into the night or scrolling for hours. And even when, joy of joys, I got my first ‘proper cool’ mobile phone (a Nokia 3310), I could call, text and play a cheeky bit of snake, but technology and media were just a small aspect of my life, rather than my life revolving around it. Simpler times.
Before you think this is going to be a hate piece on social media and Instagram, it really isn’t. I enjoy and appreciate technology and social media, even taking on job roles that made it part of my daily life. Without Instagram, I could have missed out on great opportunities to connect, collaborate and make new friends, learn something new, get my talents out there… There’s a reason social media is an amazing platform for musicians, writers, bloggers, photographers, fitness fans, businesses etc. It’s about getting yourself out there, opening up doors to the world and showing what you can do.
Instagram now has over 111 million active users. That’s a lot of chances to showcase yourself. But there is a fine line we walk as an Instagram user where showing yourself to the world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I think most of us understand the impact social media has on our mental health. It’s been a continuous theme for media experts, psychology experts, health professionals, educators, parents and plenty of others. So we know this as fact, that for some, living your best life on “the ‘Gram”, isn’t actually the best thing for you.
And although like I said, I enjoyed Instagram, eventually I realised it wasn’t the best for me either. In a world where getting instant gratification, entertainment and validation is at your fingertips 24/7, the constant need for this addicting form of communication has proven to take a turn for the worse. And yes, like alcohol, gambling or smoking, it can turn into a true addiction
Now, I certainly wouldn’t say I was addicted to social media or Instagram – I only had the Gram for about two years. But I definitely checked it daily, if not more so, I felt the happiness spike of dopamine every time someone liked my picture or gave me a follow. Many of us want to feel like we are someone in a world choc-a-bloc full of someone's, and what’s better than having a life-affirming comment from a stranger from the other side of the world? (Granted there’s the potential for lots of unkind comments too).
But with those comments, likes and love come pressure. The more you get, the more you need to maintain and improve your content. I felt that, and I didn’t even have a big following or purpose on Instagram. We are told that Instagram is a highlight reel –and of course it is! It’s a super fun tool in
many ways, but keep in mind that reality check; most of what you see on Instagram isn’t reality. It’s a brighter, shinier version of life. However, as humans, we tend to enjoy the brighter, shinier things.
Two main things really flipped the switch for me, resulting in my decision to delete my account. The first was being so busy that I ended up simply not having enough time to post. I had a life to live and often being in the present moment meant I completely forgot the photo ops. Eventually over a month went by without me even thinking or missing it.
The second was a little more concerning. Hearing young people panicking because their picture hadn’t received any likes yet. Why didn’t it? Can someone go and like it, please? What was wrong this the content? What’s wrong with me? Hearing the self-doubt in their voices, again and again, rang those alarm bells in my head. And I realised, with many forms of social media, especially Instagram, it is so easy to be reduced to FOMO (fear
of missing out), self-doubt and low selfesteem. A warped sense of the world. Studies have shown that social media has played a massive part in how we view ourselves and our mental health – even physical health as we spent more and more time being sedentary, looking at screens. Seeing young, impressionable people stressing, arguing, even crying or self-harming, over their Instagram, Snapchat, Tik Tok etc accounts – made me think actually, is this something I want in my life?
I’m by no means saying Instagram is bad. I mean, I create content for a living! But having learnt to live happily without it, I honestly don’t miss it right now. A weight has been lifted, and I feel no pressure or expectations from those far-reaching corners of the world. Granted, there might be a time when I re-join the world of Instagram –and when I do it’ll be because I genuinely have something to share, as I don’t crave the validation. But for the time being at least, I’m good not being a someone, just being me.
"Hearing the self-doubt in their voices, again and again, rang those alarm bells in my head."
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Antipodes Avocado Pear Nourishing Night Cream also contains Manuka honey and Vinanza grape. This is just what your skin needs to feed on at the end of the day to hydrate the skin and keep skin supple.
Antipodes lipsticks are formulated with ingredients that are not only safe, but actually healthy!
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Vera Deodorant Stick effectively controls odour for all day protection.
Caudalie has fabulous suncare products that provide broad-spectrum UVA/UVB protection and are safe for the skin and nature. The five new suncare products have non-sticky textures and offer a luminous and even tan while delicately scenting the skin with the summery fragrance of frangipani flowers. Caudalie suncare formulas are safe for nature and highly biodegradable.
Viridian 100% Organic Clear Skin Omega Oil provides a reliable source of omegas and essential fatty acids for gorgeous clear skin. Suitable for vegans.
REN ATLANTIC KELP & MAGNESIUM BODY WASH
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"One in 42 women in the UK will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in their lifetime, but 99.8% of cervical cancer cases are preventable.
"
It's not necessary to clean your vagina as thoroughly as you would your hands or face, explains
Cliona ElliottOver the past decade, there has been an explosion of women proudly reclaiming their bodies. We're putting self-care higher on our to-do lists, talking more openly about women's health and generally seem to be more loving and accepting of the skin we're in. V-Care, or 'vagina health care', is a new buzzword in the world of wellness. Our bodies are wonderfully unique and what's normal is different for everyone, but there are some things we should and shouldn't do to keep our vaginas healthy and happy.
The pH scale measures how acidic or alkaline something is on a scale of 0-14. Vaginas are naturally acidic and are usually considered healthy when they have a pH of 3.8 to 4.5. Things that can affect the pH level include your period, fragranced soaps, tampons, lubes or sex. When vaginas have a higher pH and become more alkaline, it's easier for bacteria to grow and cause infections such as thrush and bacterial vaginosis. Douching and washing the inside areas flush out natural bacteria. It's really not necessary to clean your vagina as thoroughly as you would your hands or your face because vaginas clean themselves - they're pretty amazing. Wash the external area only, using warm water and a gentle, fragrancefree soap if it doesn't irritate your skin.
The gut is often referred to as the second brain, hence the term 'trust your gut feeling'. There are 100 million neurons in the digestive system, running from the oesophagus to the anus. There's also a large visceral nerve in the gut called the vagus nerve, which carries information about the vital organs to your brain. Around 90% of serotonin, the marvellous neurotransmitter that regulates our mood and social behaviour, is made in the gut. Antibiotics, bad diet and alcohol can easily upset gut bacteria, which is why these things can lower your mood. Vaginas need friendly gut bacteria to ward off infections like thrush. You can maintain gut health by ensuring you are eating enough probiotics, and by generally eating a wholesome and balanced diet. Probiotic-rich foods include natural yoghurt, miso, tempeh and pickles.
Certain fabrics and styles of underwear can irritate sensitive areas. It’s easy to head straight for the skimpy undies, but the most important thing is that they feel comfortable. If they’re too tight and don’t give you much breathing space, you could develop a yeast or other vaginal infection. Synthetic fabrics like
nylon, polyester and spandex can also be a no-no as they trap heat and moisture, gradually leading to bacterial infections. Whether you like the Bridget Jones-style knickers or frilly smalls, just be wary of what feels good for your body and allow yourself to take a breather every so often.
One in 42 women in the UK will be diagnosed with cervical cancer in their lifetime, but 99.8% of cervical cancer cases are preventable. This means it's so important to go for your routine smear test. A smear test, which takes just a minute or so, picks up changes to the cervical cells. According to data from Jo’s Cervical Cancer Trust, 81% of women who had delayed or put off going for a test felt embarrassed, 58% were scared it would hurt, and 37% didn't know what would happen during a test. It's completely normal to feel anxious and vulnerable about smear tests, but there's honestly nothing to worry about. Doctors and nurses are trained to answer any questions and put your mind at ease about anything you're worried about. Going for your smear tests can potentially save your life, so never put it off.
Getting to know and love your body is something you are entitled to. Women and women's bodies have been oppressed throughout history, and for many years, pleasure was considered shameful and taboo. You have the right to love every inch of yourself without feeling any shame. Increasing your awareness of your body and what feels good is natural, healthy and can improve your intimate relationships. Orgasms are one of the best ways to relieve stress and boost endorphins, which is all the more reason to have more of them. As I once read by a very wise and funny individual, and I apologise for not remembering who wrote this, "The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings. If you're going to get on my nerves, get on one of those."
Many of you will have seen the program ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ Celebrities trace their family trees and discover stories about their family’s past, often with some incredible tales and many emotions.
But they are not alone. Many people I know have also started to delve deeper into their ancestor’s histories. DNA/ genealogy sites such as 23andMe and Ancestry offer a chance to not just look at temps passé and find long lost family, but to look at your genetic make-up. And, like I said, I know more and more people who have decided to see ‘who they are’ and where they ‘come from’. I use those terms carefully because those things are often very relative. People have moved around, got dual citizenships, more complex family systems. So, where you feel like your home is maybe different to your nationality and your ethnicity. Believe me, I should know.
And as for who you are – well, your DNA can only tell you so much. The age-old argument of nature vs. nurture takes care of that. Yes, parts of our lives and personalities may be shaped by family traits and DNA sequences, but how you are raised, your environment, your experiences, those are all reasons why you become you. And for many people, these things are ever developing. But why this fascination with tracing our roots? Why this curiosity over our DNA? I think a large part of it has to do with identity.
In order to feel secure, as humans, we tend to like to know who we are and where we stand. We may feel like if we have certain answers, answers that science can now give us, it can help unravel this wonderful but occasionally unusual mystery of our place here in this big wide world. We are merely a speck in time and space. Our very existence as a human race is but a minuscule blip on the continuum of time, let alone our individual life. So yes, with that in mind, I think it’d be quite nice to know where my ancestors hailed from, how they lived, where they moved to, what journeys they took. A slightly bigger blip on the time scale.
I’m not alone. At the time this will have gone to print, my DNA testing kit should be here. And I’m very excited that maybe I can start to move closer to finding out what sort of magical humanity created me.
I’ve lived in Jersey most of my life, but I am adopted. I have no issues telling people my story or them asking questions, I’ve had it my entire life. With two white parents, a darker skinned child wasn’t the norm in 80s/90s Jersey. I’ve had the stares and curiosity. But there’s also a side of me that feels ready to explore more of my native heritage. To understand my story, I want to start at the beginning, at least as far back as I can go. To look at my DNA results and see the possible ways my biological parents, grandparents, great-grandparents mixed and matched. Like a little mutt, I know I am a mix of different things. I just don’t know what.
I’m ready for any surprises in store. I have no biological family history, no stories from my flesh and blood. And whilst nothing will ever detract from the fact that the family I was adopted into is my family, it is very intriguing to look at another new side of who I am. Maybe I’m not as mixed as I thought? Maybe there are things I don’t really want to know?
I love the videos on YouTube where groups of people get DNA tested. Some are so incredibly sure of who they are and where their families originated from. “I’m pure this, I’m 100% that”. And then they get their results? “What – 10% Swedish? 5% Irish?”. Do we ever really know the truth until we know through science?
There’s another side to these DNA kits too. Some allow you to look at life expectancy, what illnesses you might be susceptible to, amongst other things. And I’ve known a few people who have gone in for that extra option, rather than just the genetics of where they’re ‘from’. I don’t think, for me personally, I’ll be looking into that part. Ignorance is bliss in many respects and while I can see the benefits of such information, with me, I feel like it would play on my mind too much. And how safe are these DNA kits? Our information is now with the companies – now I’m not some conspiracy theorist who thinks these companies are going to use my DNA for cloning or such like, but obviously, this is private information that is now owned and accessible to complete strangers. So that is also something to consider. However, I’m ready and happy to take the plunge. And from the fact that these companies are getting more and more requests and are growing bigger and bigger databases, it looks like I’m not alone in the curiosity over my genes. That’s why this year, it’s time to find out what makes up
Being adopted herself, Liana Shaw knows all too well the desire to know where you come from.
Having recently won silver in the External Learning Solution of the Year Award, the Resilience Development Company are quickly becoming recognised for the incredible work they do
According to research, each year 12.8 million working days are lost to stress, anxiety and depression. Surprisingly little research has been done previously to evaluate ways to improve resilience and wellbeing for the general population, especially in local communities. 1 in 3 parents report feeling burnt out some or most of the time and schools have reported an increase in the last five years in the number of students experiencing poor mental health.
The Resilience Development Company’s mission is to help people work better, live better and feel better, which they do across the workplace, schools and in the community. Their skill-based resilience programmes offer a unique opportunity to make a really big difference in improving people's lives and increasing national wellbeing. But who and what is the Resilience Development Company?
In a nutshell, the Resilience Development Company is a local company that works both in Jersey and internationally. They’ve delivered their evidence-based and practical programmes to thousands of people, to enable them to better understand their thinking and emotions so they are able to stress less, perform more and lead happier and more confident lives.
Their programmes can be accessed individually and through training delivered within the workplace. The team offer 1:1 sessions that are flexible and work around a person’s schedule. The programme tackles a lot of major pain points from mental health in society all the way down to parenting – a huge transition. The programme also helps relationships in the workplace, from poor management to heavy workloads.
Their work in local secondary schools has given students, parents and teachers the vital skills to thrive at home, at school and in their studies. Year 10 students from Haute Vallée and Victoria College participated in a 9-week programme consisting of weekly 2-hour skill-based sessions. At the end of the programme, the students received a Chartered Management Institution certification.
The Resilience Development Company was set up in 2013 by Emma Ogilvie and Louise Scambler.
Emma’s background is in counselling and psychology, and she has been an active member of both the Government Mental Health Strategy Review and the subsequent Scrutiny Report in which she was tasked with driving forward preventative strategies against poor mental health. Emma has also experienced first-hand the debilitating effects of anxiety and panic attacks. “The necessity to fund services to support people who are at the acute end of poor mental health means little action is taken to proactively prevent instances of poor mental health in the first place. Today’s world is full of challenge, change and uncertainty and our programmes give people and organisations the skills and strategies to enable them to manage stress and their own mental health, to boost their resilience and proactively navigate the rollercoaster of life.”
Louise worked for 27 years in the film industry before moving to Jersey where she began a career in learning and development. In addition to working within workplace organisations, she specialises in developing resilience within young people and parents. Louise explained that she lost her first husband to suicide, and this has made her incredibly passionate about what she does.
In 2014 Emma’s husband, David, joined the team. Having previously worked as a director in banking, he recognised that the key skills the resilience team were teaching were at the core of what leadership and good workplace culture is all about. “Research shows that what makes people sick at work is poor management, poor culture and heavy workloads, so we created programmes that directly address this. We’ve worked across FTSE 100 companies, Government, Emergency Services and the NHS and our programmes are proven to significantly reduce stress and increase engagement and productivity. In basic terms, it creates a workplace culture where people actually want to come to work every day”
In 2016, former elite soldier and ex-marine, Jon Watkins joined the team and brought a different dimension to resilience. “I was frustrated with Management and Leadership full stop and believed there was a fundamental gap in what I had been trained to do in the Military and the missing elements needed in both leadership and civilian life. I became more aware that resilience, relationships and transitioning skills were vital.”
Their skill-based Resilience programmes take a unique, evidence-informed approach and the impact is both promising and exciting.
900 participants completed a 7-item validated questionnaire (GAD-7) routinely used across both Primary Care and Mental Health settings as a pre-screening tool to measure the presence and severity of symptoms of excessive, exaggerated anxiety and worry. All participants were unaware of the significance of the questions and were accessing the programme in the workplace or school.
Of the 900 people, 24% of people showed signs of severe anxiety before the programme. This number reduced to 13% as a result of the programme.
The impact of their work across industry has now been recognised by the 2020 Learning and Performance Institute’s (LPI) Global Learning Awards, in which they were confirmed as the Silver winner of the ‘External Learning Solution of the Year Award.’ This accolade is presented to a learning provider that has undertaken a major learning and development project that is both innovative in concept and has produced demonstrable performance improvement and business impact as well as evidence of value for money. The team were up against the likes of GoogleUK and Dale Carnegie.
David commented: “The organisations we work with tell us our programmes are game changing in terms of workplace culture, wellbeing and performance and as a team, we’re
passionate about what we do and have worked hard to develop programmes that deliver exceptional results.”
The ceremony, which took place at the London Mayfair Hilton Hotel on 20th February, was attended by global industry professionals from across the Learning and Development community, who joined finalists to recognise and celebrate programmes that are relevant, innovative and evidence best practice in today’s workplace.
"Of the 900 people, 24% of people showed signs of severe anxiety before the programme. This number reduced to 13% as a result of the programme."
"When I have been sober-curious, I notice a spike in my energy and productivity levels, feel less anxious and generally feel an increased level of wellbeing."
Your head is pounding. You open one eye and roll onto your side, hoping there's a glass of water next to your bed. The stale smell of hangover fills the room, and memories of last night start appearing in your mind. Because you're still half-cut, you try to convince yourself that the dancing on the table and having in-depth conversations about the universe with a stranger didn't happen. As you begin to sober up, alcoholinduced anxiety, or better known as the 'fear', sinks over you. It's a crippling feeling that makes you want to hide from the world, eat a mountain of greasy carbs and perhaps question your existence. Every time you overdo it with the booze, you ask yourself, "Is it really worth it?" And the words, "I am never drinking again" reverberate in your head.
Like most people in their mid-twenties, alcohol has been a key part of my adulthood and I’ve endured my fair share of hangovers. Birthdays, after-work drinks, summer barbeques, leaving parties and catching up with friends—alcohol sits at the top table of almost every social occasion. And in my experience at least, it has always been synonymous with having a good time.
The intention behind having a drink is not always to get drunk—I genuinely enjoy the taste of good wine and the refreshing taste of a beer on a hot day. But I'll have a glass of liquid courage before going on a date, and a glass of wine is always appealing after a hectic day at work. I have not experienced dependency on alcohol in the traditional sense, but I am definitely becoming more aware of how alcohol operates in the deeper levels of the psyche, and also within wider society.
Taking a break from drinking has been popularised with trends such as 'dry January' and 'Sober October', but more people are exploring #soberlife further. Ruby Warrington is the author of Sober Curious: The Blissful Sleep, Greater Focus, Limitless Presence, and Deep Connection Awaiting Us All on the Other Side of Alcohol, and the leading voice of the sober curious movement. Ruby's definition of what it means
anxious and generally feel an increased level of wellbeing, both physically and mentally. I also spend more time doing the things that feed my soul, like going on weekend adventures, yoga, camping, reading, cooking and attending
In a culture where people drink to relax and lose inhibitions, being sober-curious can be difficult, and one of the most common concerns Ruby hears from newly sobercurious people is that it will have a negative impact on their social life. But solid friendships are bound by a much stronger spirit than alcohol, and there are many ways to connect and have fun that don’t involve drinking. Ruby says, “there are people who are consciously choosing not to drink, but not necessarily doing yoga”. This led her to create an event series called Club SÖDA NYC—a sober event that isn’t boring, where people can meet and connect with new people outside of work hours. As the sober-curious movement grows and sobriety becomes more fashionable, it will be interesting to see if sober social events become more popular.
The sober-curious movement has removed the all-or-nothing mentality that is attached to sobriety. Doing things sober, when you'd usually have a drink in-hand, pushes you to step outside of your comfort zone. You can be sober-curious for one night, a week, a month or never have a drink again. It doesn’t require you to put yourself in a box. It simply encourages you to be more present and to invite more awareness into your life—to question yourself when you think you need a drink to dance, or be confident on a date, or just be your authentic self.
"In a culture where people drink to relax, being sobercurious can be difficult."
RELAX in the p eaceful setting of the botanic gardens
EXPLORE the many acres of grounds DISCOVER the history of the Manor and Agricultural Museum EAT in the beautiful setting of the herb garden SHOP for stylish gifts and unique plants STAY in our Victorian courtyard cottages and apartments
Pick up our brochure or visit our website for the full story SAMARES MANOR, LA GRANDE ROUTE DE ST CLEMENT, ST CLEMENT, JERSEY JE2 6QW
T: +44 (0) 1534 870551 samaresmanor@gmail.com www.samaresmanor.com
@samaresmanor @samaresmanor
Harriet Rouse shares her spring tips, including how to attract bees and preparing a cutting garden
Hear that noise? That is spring. The familiar sight of birds carrying improbably large twigs, of the blossom on the trees and the lengthening days that mean we can finally get back in the garden.
Alongside general maintenance such as weeding, checking on fence panels after the storms, jet washing the patio and tidying up, there are some great spring projects that you can get involved with that will ensure optimum enjoyment of
the garden in the coming months (by which we mean the bit where you sit down with a glass of something chilled and look at your handiwork!)
Whilst some pollination is wind-born, bees are crucial to our gardens. The good news is that it’s very easy to make your garden welcoming to bees and other pollinating insects, and – the more you encourage them – the better your garden will look.
Why not put out a bee hotel? If you decide to give it a try, opt for the smaller versions that encourage solitary bees as honeybees are content in their hives.
If you ever see a nearly dead-looking bumblebee the chances are high that it just needs a feed. By placing down a saucer with some sugar water (or even just honey watered down slightly), you should see it reaching out to drink and, with any luck, flying off refreshed, ready for the spring and summer pollinating.
If you followed the advice in our autumn edition and popped in some bulbs these will now be flowering. The good news is, you don’t need to do anything to them as they’ll die back and flower again next spring. Alongside bulbs, there are some other great early pollinators that give colour and interest to your garden, but also encourage bees and insects.
Why not try planting out some Broom? With its delicate early flowers readily available in light pink and yellow varieties, it is a hardy evergreen that continues to give structure throughout the year.
Skimmia is another great addition to any garden. It not only smells amazing but flowers early and is great for winter foliage as well, with the clusters of red buds being a great addition to any winter wreath.
There are very few people who don’t like to bring the outside into their home with flowers, plants or foliage displays, be they real, faux, or a mix of the two. One way to do this and keep your cost down is to plant a cutting garden. It might sound like you need a lot of space, but you really don’t. You just need time, and a little bit of planning and preparation. You also need to keep cutting as the more you cut your blooms, the more they’ll come. Here are some ideas that can work for your space, be it a window box or two, or an unloved bed.
It’s worth remembering that while the rest of your garden might be designed to look nice all the time, a cutting garden is designed to be, well, cut. And it will be functional and pretty, but not a border for displays.
First, choose a spot, ideally sunny, and perhaps a bit tucked away so that it’s not the first thing people see. If you’re lucky enough to have room for a veg patch, you can borrow a couple of rows of that to try out a year of working on a different crop. If space is limited, then a couple of small planters can be surprisingly productive, just make sure you keep them watered and fed.
You need to plan. Group plants by height so they all get sun. Group them by when they start flowering and make sure that you have access by planting in rows.
No matter whether you’re opting for a couple of window boxes or have a larger area, preparation is key. Weed thoroughly so your flowers don’t have any competition, and mulch at least twice - once at the start of the planting, and once halfway through the season. Mix in some organic fertilizer and compost and you’re going to be giving your blooms the very best start in life.
Choose your flowers
Choose what you love. No point putting in Dahlias if they leave you cold. Likewise, if you’re all about the modern striking arrangements, then go big – foxgloves (biennial) or alliums (bulbs). Remember though that if you go tall, many plants will need staking to support their growth.
Traditionally cutting gardens use annual plants, though bulbs and biennials are also suitable. An annual is – quite simply – a plant that completes its life cycle in a year. From seed to flower, to seed again (and because they want to go to seed, the more you cut, the more flowers – and therefore seeds – they produce which makes them the perfect plant for cutting).
Remember that a cutting garden is all about the flowers… foliage can be cut from elsewhere in the garden or purchased inexpensively in the market. The main thing to do is plant what you will use.
If you’re fond of a small, country-style arrangement in a small vase, anemones, sweet peas, poppies, and other shortstemmed plants are a great place to start –though poppies do not last more than two or three days in a vase.
One of our favourite plants is a sunflower – they look gorgeous displayed and you only need one or two to make a real impact. They’re also a great way to get the kids involved with your planting (or to give them something to do in their own pot!). Choose a variety with multiple heads to get as many as possible for your displays – you can find the details on seed packets.
If you need further cutting garden inspiration, then Instagram should be your first stop. Search hashtags and go down a rabbit hole of inspiration. But do remember the Jersey climate when it comes to ordering seeds!
Hi, I’m Hannah and I’m a biblioholic. My love of reading, and creative writing, is the result of three years spent at Oxford Brookes University where I studied for a degree in publishing. I love a good murder mystery book, but I also regularly read travel, health, action & adventure and science fiction titles.
Monisha Rajesh
*****
After seven months and having travelled 45,000 miles by trains all over the world, Monisha Rajesh and her fiancé, Jem are almost home. Their unforgettable adventure has taken them from London’s St Pancras station through America, Canada, Kazakhstan, Mongolia and even North Korea. The pair strike up friendships and swap stories with fellow travellers they meet on board, sharing food and experiences, all while taking in some of the earth’s most breathtaking views. A travel book not just for rail enthusiasts, Around the World in 80 Trains is a celebration of the glory of train travel and a warm and entertaining look at the world.
Andrzej Sapkowski
*****
From the bestselling series that inspired the Witcher video games and the Netflix show featuring Jersey-born Henry Cavill, The Last Wish introduces Geralt the Witcher, a man whose magic powers and lifelong training have made him a brilliant fighter and a merciless assassin. Yet Geralt is no ordinary killer: he hunts the depraved fiends that ravage the land and attack the innocent. In a world full of monsters, the supernatural and magic, not everything monstrous-looking is evil; not everything fair is good. This is the perfect introduction to this one-of-a-kind fantasy world and has an abundance of action, drama, and even romance.
Beth Morrey
*****
Missy Carmichael is 79 years old, her husband is gone, her son and family live in Australia and she has fallen out with her daughter. Sad, lonely and not really coping, she realises she has not done anything to help herself, so heads to the local park where she has a chance encounter with two very different women, Sylvie and Angela. Little does she know that these women are going to change her life for the better. Missy suddenly has friends, and a reason to leave the house. Morrey’s debut novel is an emotional story, so have your tissues ready!
Andrew Hunter Murray
*****
Set in 2059, the earth has stopped rotating, leaving half the world in light and the other in darkness. Great Britain is lucky enough to be in a habitable region and is now a totalitarian nation with closed borders. Scientist Ellen Hopper is living on a rig, studying ocean currents, in the hope that her work will result in a way for more crops to be grown. Ellen is contacted by her former professor, Edward Thorne from his death bed. Thorne has a secret he has been keeping and government officials are sure he will tell her where to find the information they seek. To save what’s left of the world, Hopper launches an investigation into the government secret, rediscovering her hope for humanity along the way. This is one secret though that those in power will kill to conceal. Despite some intricate world building and curious, engaging characters, there are inconsistencies and plot holes throughout. A fun enough read for a wet Sunday.
Whether it’s painting the dresser you’ve had for years, adding new handles to your kitchen cupboard, or upholstering your favourite but slightly tired armchair – upcycling is the ‘in’ trend.
And, it doesn’t need to cost a fortune. A tin of paint can cost a few pounds and rolls of material, tiles and preloved furniture can be picked up for bargain prices in many of the island’s second-hand stores.
Lynne-Marie Langlois, a freelance upcycling tutor, has been giving life to old furniture for the past ten years. She taught herself everything she knows and admits to being ‘obsessed’ with upcycling. As well as offering a bespoke upcycling service, the islander is also a tutor at Acorn Enterprises. She believes people’s environmental conscious is making them repurpose or choose to buy second-hand.
‘I think people are very aware of the impact decisions have on the environment now and people are becoming less materialistic and trying to do things for themselves.
‘I love being able to give something old a new life. Shopping has become a bit a pastime for people and they don’t want to go out and buy new stuff anymore.’
Just type ‘upcycling furniture’ into Pinterest and you’ll soon see the possibilities are endless. Sewing machines used as wall stands, old suitcases used as tables and walls of mirrors of all varying sizes and colours pop up as hundreds of options for your home appear.
But it’s important not to bite off more than you can chew. ‘The key thing with upcycling is to start small and don’t go and pick a big piece of furniture to upcycle. Have a think about how you want the piece to look and be brave. If it doesn’t work then you
can try again. Painting something is the most basic upcycling method. I think people can be put off if they think it’s going to be messy but if you don’t use an oil-based paint then it won’t be that messy at all.’
Online shopping can become second nature in many cases but when it comes to wanting to buy some-thing second-hand, Jersey is full of places to grab a bargain. Acorn, Jersey Hospice Care and Durrell are just some of the places you can buy preloved furniture and make it your own.
‘Your house should say something about you as a person and your furniture should show your personality. Upcycling allows people to add a bit of colour and personality to items in their own home.’
Being proud of something you have made is a mantra Lynne-Marie is also keen to teach clients at Acorn Enterprises. The social enterprise provides employment training and support for people with a range of disabilities. The islander teaches upcycling workshops with wood and materials donated to the reuse centre.
I like to think I’m a fairly creative person and after searching for months for a bookshelf for my lounge, I decided it was time I thought outside the box. After some research online and my boyfriend suggesting we use crates, we took a trip to Dunell’s and bought four wine boxes for £20. A trip to B&Q later, we bought varnish, wood glue and sandpaper.
Sand down the crates as little or as much as you like. We didn’t spend too long sanding, as long as the corners are smooth then your crates will be good to go.
Use the wood glue and clamps to secure the crates. Mix and match the positions before you commit to clamping them together. Store the crates somewhere dry overnight.
Once your crates are secure you can get to work varnishing them. Again use as little or as much as you like for your desired finish.
second-hand
It seems bright colours are the ‘must have’ in our homes. Chalk paint is classic and is used a lot for upcycling furniture. A 50/50 split between lighter wood and darker tones are making a comeback. Pallets are on point at the moment and are often used as tables or hung on walls as cupboard space. Jars are a ‘must have’ in trendy bars and restaurants used as lights. If you have a room with little light then an easy thing to do is get second-hand mirrors, paint the frames, go for different textures and sizes and make a collection on the wall.
Place the bookshelf in position in your home and decorate. In our case less is more and by adding some house plants, a glass bottle and some candles we created a beautiful piece of furniture under £30. Although it may not be perfect and the crates aren’t quite square – it’s something we made ourselves and it adds character to our home.
It’s time to ditch the new and champion the old, says Emily Smith
Nothing says spring to me like a plump freshly roasted chicken. Try to get the best chicken you can find, free-range or cornfed for the best results, and in just over an hour you will have a fabulous roast on your table. The secret is salting overnight which is a real flavour booster. Serve with Jersey royals and a crisp green salad.
1 large free-range chicken (1.6 -2kg)
4 slices of streaky bacon
1 large onion, peeled and quartered
3 carrots, peeled and halved
1 lemon, cut in half
60g soft butter
A small bunch of fresh thyme
2 bay leaves
2 cloves of garlic, peeled and crushed
Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
1. The day before you intend to cook the chicken, sprinkle it inside and out with the salt. Place in a deep dish, cover with cling film, and store in the bottom of your fridge. When you are ready to cook, start by removing the chicken from the fridge and with some kitchen paper brush off any excess salt. Place the lemon, garlic, and half of the thyme inside the chicken cavity. Allow the chicken to come to room temperature for about an hour.
2. Preheat your oven to 375F/190C/Gas Mark 5. Place the onion, carrots, bay leaves, and thyme into a deep sided roasting tray and place the chicken on top. Dab the butter all over the chicken and cover with a generous grind of black pepper, then lay the bacon over the chicken breasts. Carefully place in the oven and cook for one hour ten minutes. Baste the bird with any roasting juices a couple of times during cooking.
3. Carefully remove from the oven, the chicken should be golden brown and when you stick a knife in the flesh between the leg and the breast the juices should be clear. Place the chicken on a plate or dish, cover with foil and rest in a warm place whilst you prepare the potatoes and salad. Do not be concerned about how quickly this has taken, the chicken will finish cooking as it rests. Carve when ready.
This is a great healthy and tasty recipe that is low in calories and saturated fat. Garnish the finished dish with some finely sliced spring onions and raw red chillies.
4 salmon fillets
100g pak choi
100g sugar snaps
100g tender stem broccoli
1 small bunch spring onions, sliced
4 tbsp Teriyaki sauce
2 tbsp sweet chilli sauce
1 tbsp light soy sauce
3 fresh limes,
2 halved and 1 juiced and zested
2 tbsp vegetable oil
2 cloves garlic, peeled and very finely crushed
2 tbsp sesame oil
1 tbsp sesame seeds
1. Mix the teriyaki sauce, sweet chilli sauce, soy sauce, garlic, lime zest and juice in a deep sided tray.
2. Place in the salmon fillets and turn to coat, cover and place in the bottom of the refrigerator and leave to marinate for at least sixty minutes. Remove the salmon, drain off any excess marinade and set aside.
3. Heat the vegetable oil in a large heavy-bottomed frying pan and gently fry the salmon fillets for four to five minutes each side. The salmon should be cooked through and the marinade slightly charred. Place in a fresh tray, cover with foil and keep warm.
4. Cook the vegetables in another pan with a splash of water for two to three minutes. Save a few spring onions for garnishing the finished dish. Add the reserved marinade and turn up the heat to reduce slightly. Serve up the vegetables and top with a salmon fillet, pouring over any sauce.
5. Garnish with spring onion, sesame seeds and sesame oil.
I think everyone loves the fresh taste of a creamy lemon cheesecake; this recipe uses ginger biscuits for a little zing to the base.
120g digestive biscuits
100g ginger biscuits
100g unsalted butter, melted
250g ricotta
600g cream cheese
200g caster sugar
Grated zest and juice of 3 lemons
1. Butter a 23cm cake tin or flan ring. Blitz the digestive and ginger biscuits and a quarter of the sugar in a food processor until broken into a fine crumb. Add the melted butter and pulse until thoroughly mixed. Tip the crumb mix into the cake tin and gently press down. Place into a refrigerator and chill.
2. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the ricotta, cream cheese, the remaining sugar and the lemon zest and juice. When smooth pour over the chilled biscuit base and return to the refrigerator for around three hours until set. Carefully remove from the tin and garnish with berries before serving.
Should you ever ask a potential partner their 'magic number'? Bex Evans doesn't think so
At the start of any new relationship, there are a lot of questions to be asked. From ‘how do you take your tea?’ to ‘do you see yourself having children?’ and everything in between, it's important to learn enough about each other to establish whether you might be a good match and flag up any deal-breakers early on.
Once you start getting serious, it's a good idea to at least get an overview of each other's past relationship history. Has she spent more time coupled up or single? When did his last relationship end and why? Has she always been faithful? What attribute did he value most in his ex-partners? The answers to these questions can give us clues about the kind of person we're dating, how they act and react in a relationship, and whether their experiences mirror our own. They don't give us any indication of what this relationship will be like, it's worth adding. History doesn't always repeat itself.
But as healthy as it is to be curious, there's one particular question that I think is best avoided, and that's the matter of your 'magic number'. Almost everyone I've spoken to in researching this article has at one time or other been asked that most awkward question and 'dating' shows like Love Island seem to promote the idea that it's a legitimate query to put to your partner or share with the general public. In my experience, however, asking your love interest how many people they've previously slept with never ends well.
There's an age-old joke that when pressed for an answer, men will triple the true figure, whilst women will divide it by 3, reinforcing even in 2020 the tiresome idea that the sexes are not equal. What is good for the goose is slutty for the gander. Young men who proudly proclaim they've bedded 50 individuals are hailed as studs or heroes among their peers, yet middle-aged women who feel no shame in divulging that they've enjoyed the company of 20 different partners throughout their life have been labelled with terms that are unsuitable for me to repeat in a family magazine.
Women are pressed by society to be chaste, while men are encouraged to sow their wild oats, and the discovery that an individual has gone against the accepted grain can open them up to judgement or even scorn from otherwise levelheaded and rational people. But why do we feel the need
to ask the question in the first place? What business is it of anyone’s anyway?
The only legitimate reason I can think of for examining your partner’s sexual history is in terms of health. If you’re planning to get intimate it’s fair to ask for some reassurance that they’re free from communicable disease, but there’s a right and a wrong way to approach it, and assuming they’re ‘dirty’ simply because they have more experience is absurd. Someone who has partaken in 100 one-night stands but is fastidious about being safe is no more likely to carry an infection that someone who has had a couple of flings without giving a second thought to barrier protection. So putting aside the issue of sexual health, that reduces the real reason for asking down to pure curiosity, too often driven by underlying jealousy or insecurity. If things are otherwise going great with a new partner, but if the knowledge that they are more or less sexually experienced than you is likely to play on your mind, then just don’t ask. Should the answer not be what you wanted to hear then it can’t be unknown, nor can it be changed, but all too often it can become an excuse to hide behind or worse, a missile to throw.
Nobody should be made to feel uncomfortable or ashamed by the private and personal choices they’ve made as consenting adults. Sex is a completely natural and pleasurable aspect of human life and relationships; whether that’s with one partner until death we do part, or with any number of willing paramours, the frequency with which we indulge should be nobody’s business but our own.
In the 21st century, we’re waiting longer and longer to ‘settle down’ and the rate of divorce in later life is increasing exponentially, so the chances of meeting someone who has no sexy skeletons in their closet is next to none. At the same time, more men are throwing off the gender stereotype that encourages them to be sexually profuse and more women are embracing their sexuality and desire to seek pleasure as and when they want it, rather than purely within in the confines of a relationship.
None of the above is a problem, and none of what has gone before has any bearing on what comes next, so let’s put aside our inquisitiveness about each other’s past, and simply embrace the excitement of our own future.
"The chances of meeting someone who has no sexy skeletons in their closet is next to none."
