River Valley Woman February 2021

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ESSAYS FROM NELL MUSOLF & MOLLY SLAMA SPACES

DONALD & MARGARET DUGO

I'm honored & humbled to be the 2020 Top Producer recipient for CENTURY 21 Atwood. Thank you to each and every one of the 84 families that I was privileged to work with this year. If you are ready to buy or sell your home, ASKCandee. I'll make it happen.

BY EILEEN MADSEN Editor

about a love story? We read books about it, sing about it, and binge watch TV shows and movies about it. We just can’t get enough of that sweet stuff.

Love doesn’t come without its risks, however. How many of us passed a note in school to a crush asking if they liked us back, then waited in torturous anticipation for the reply? Such was the case with Dickie Barber and me in first grade. The heady feeling of those scribbled declarations of love, not to mention the Batman ring he gave me, was only topped by the thrill of chasing each other around the playground at noon. Alas, it all came crashing down when our teacher separated us and made us stay after school for goofing off during music class. I recall the song playing went something like “What kind of an animal are you? You look like a monkey in a zoo.” During which we pointed at each other as the monkey, thinking it was hilarious, as 7 year olds would. I was mortified to be admonished by the teacher. Not to mention his older brother, Tommy, threatened me in the hallway to give back that Batman ring or else. I assume Dickie poached it from Tommy’s toy stash. Luckily there are many love stories with happier endings. Or rather, I should say, ongoing chapters. Our cover couple, the notable Brian and Katie Ojanpa, of Mankato, has their own unique approach to that which goes together like a horse and carriage. I enjoyed their story immensely for the simple reason that it made me laugh out loud. In fact, when I was courting

them to be our cover story, Katie warned me they weren’t a typical heart-shaped-box-of-chocolates kind of couple. Maybe not, but their humor and genuineness will make you melt.

The objects of our affections don’t always have to be of the two-legged variety. Nancy Kokesch, owner of Prairie’s Edge Standard Poodles, understands this more than most. These poodles are also therapy dogs that were instrumental in helping Nancy’s special needs adoptive daughters. The pooches are also placed in homes and healthcare service for emotional support and other reasons. Much like a dog chasing its tail, love that goes around, comes around.

Another thing that comes around is River View Sanitation. Every week, the business owned by Brent and Rachel Kucera, sends out its own Valentine of sorts to their customers. While not exactly romantic, the husband and wife team, along with their employees, plays a vital role in our lives by hauling away and/or recycling our empty wine bottles, food containers, cat box refuse, and other unsavory items—the absence of which makes the heart grow fonder for our homes, and planet. I think I just might pass them a love note next week.

It’s a family affair for essay contributor Molly Slama this month, as she shares her GALentine’s Day memories and tips that keep the holiday just amongst us girls. And writer Nell Musolf’s recent Facebook post about she and her husband’s 40th wedding anniversary intrigued me so that I had to invite her to spill the details of their elopement in this issue.

Much like a diamond, love has many facets. So whatever terms of endearment you set, be it with a significant other, a significant critter, or your own significant self, love always has a nice (Batman) ring to it. Just be careful who you call a monkey.

BUILT ON RELATIONSHIPS. FOCUSED ON PEOPLE.

ROOTED IN THE COMMUNITY.

CONGRATULATIONS

TO OUR FRIENDS AT MAUD BORUP FOR BEING RECOGNIZED AS THE WOMAN-OWNED MANUFACTURER OF THE YEAR IN THE 2020 MINNESOTA MANUFACTURING AWARDS.

WE ARE HONORED TO HAVE BEEN A PART OF YOUR JOURNEY WITH THE EXPANSION OF YOUR PACKAGING FACILITY IN LE CENTER. 155115

By KELLY DEVRIENDT

PHOTOS BY ALICE HQ PHOTOGRAPHY

hen looking for love, many people talk of finding their soulmate, their partner in crime, their one and only true love. Ideals such as love at first sight, perfect first kisses, dramatic marriage proposals, and romantic, elaborate weddings bombard us in movies, books, and television.

This is not Brian and Katie Ojanpa’s story.

Brian and Katie first laid eyes on each other at a Mankato bar. This initial meeting was not exactly love at first sight. Katie, jet-lagged from returning that day from a trip to Europe, almost didn’t go out that night.

Perhaps, this calm and cool, go with the flow attitude worked to her advantage.

“She reminded me of Gloria Steinem,” Brian said, “And I had a thing for Gloria Steinem.”

Katie, on the other hand, felt Brian was not her type. “I was used to dating football players. Brian was a tall, lanky baseball player,” she said, “But, I liked how he looked at me.”

That must have been some look, as Brian’s pick-up lines admittedly needed some work. “I asked him where he had parked and he told me, ‘somewhere smooth,’” Katie said.

“That’s because I couldn’t remember where I had parked,” Brian stated.

On their first official date, Brian invited Katie to an awards banquet at Mankato State University, where they both were attending college. Brian was receiving a journalism award. Katie made sure to point out that his unique last name was misspelled. Straight-faced Brian replied, “It is spelled perfectly correctly.”

Although the evening wasn’t flawless, it was good enough for Brian and Katie to spend the last five months of their college days dating and getting to know each other better.

Come August, with degrees in hand, both Brian and Katie were ready to move on to the next phase of their lives. One day Brian suggested that they make some plans.

“He was discussing a merger and I said, ‘Let’s just get married,’” Katie said.

So, in October they did just that. No dramatic proposals, no elaborate wedding. In fact, when Katie told her mother she was getting married, her response was, “To whom?”

The ceremony did not involve an exchange of rings, and the alter flowers were acquired by Katie’s grandmother from a recent funeral.

After the wedding, Brian and Katie began walking the journey of life together. No fairy tale here—only real, day-to-day navigating.

Brian began his career as a journalist. His first feature article had him interviewing a man from India who had taken a vow of silence.

“Everything moving forward seemed easy after that,” Brian joked. Brian then landed a job at the Mankato Free Press, where he worked as a writer for many years.

Katie began her career, first teaching English, then becoming a school counselor. She eventually earned the accolade of being named the Minnesota State High School Counselor of the Year in 2012.

Children were in the mix, too. Their son arrived in 1978 and a daughter in 1980.

“I would say the toughest years were when the kids were little,” Katie said.

With both managing careers, and Katie also working on a master’s degree, Katie remembers feeling some resentments. “Brian spent a lot of time away from home playing sports at the YMCA and that was frustrating for me,” she admitted, “It was honestly bordering on pure loathing.”

This does not appear to be a surprise to Brian. “I should have been home more, I understand that now,” he said.

This is a common scenario that had the potential to snowball, as it does in many marriages. “It’s not that either of us didn’t at some point think about leaving,” Katie said, “Nothing major 

 ended up pushing us out the door.”

Brian added, “You weigh the difference of what it would mean to not be with this person and you realize what difficulties you are dealing with are not insurmountable.”

“If we got divorced every time we threatened it, we would have been done long ago,” Katie said. Besides Brian’s past sporting endeavors at the YMCA, both Katie and Brian say they have struggled to find anything to argue about. Their daughter, Jordann Rylance, may beg to differ.

“I can’t think of anything valid they fight about.” Rylance said, “I have witnessed standoffs over mashed potatoes, Popsicle sticks, Dick Vitale’s piercing voice, and the one constant—the temperature of the house.”

Now, both retired—and likely still fighting over the thermostat—they are still very much married, and still without rings. What they lack in jewelry, they appear to make up for in the wisdom it takes to recognize a true compatible soul mate that the books and movies don’t always portray.

“Marriage is the easy part. Many people are ready to get married, but they are not ready to be an adult,” Brian said, “Until you learn that, you will get some problems.”

“We built a family and made a commitment,” Katie said, “And laughed a lot along the way.”

The laugher extended into the joint friendships they cultivated over the years. Diane Landwehr has known the couple through their entire relationship.

She confirms a significant amount of laughter when around Brian and Katie.

“Both Brian and Katie have a remarkable sense of humor and wit,” Diane said, “Most of the time, I end up hurting from laughing so hard after being around them.”

Both Brian and Katie identify humor as a key element to a successful marriage.

“Brian makes me laugh every day,” Katie said. To that, Brian added, “Even when Katie is yelling at me, she is half smiling. She has a great sense of humor.”

This approach has also won the praise of their daughter.

“I’ve been incredibly blessed to witness a real marriage,” Rylance said, “My parents have leaned on humor, respect, and understanding as the cornerstones of their relationship.”

Jordann added, “What I admire most about them is the matter-of-fact way they approach life and marriage.”

Brian and Katie were married after knowing each other for just five months. They had two children, four grandchildren, and have now tallied up 45 years together. How did Katie and Brian know they had found the one?

“I am still not sure he’s ‘the one,’” Katie said. “You never really know.”

Brian added, “You make a choice.” He went on, “Falling in love gets you a ticket to the dance, liking someone keeps you there, and Katie is my best friend.” RVW

What are some advantages to a short engagement?

KATIE: We didn’t have time to back out! Engaged in August and married in October— and I wasn’t even pregnant.

BRIAN: Greatly minimizes use of the annoying words “fiancee” and “fiance.” Also great for starting “shotgun wedding” rumors.

Who initiated your first kiss and where were you at the time?

KATIE: I’m sure I did but in all fairness I had just flown back from Europe so I blame the whole thing on jet lag.

BRIAN: Jim Beam. Bar.

What is the correct way to load a dishwasher?

KATIE: Brian’s way.

BRIAN: The man’s way. Everyone knows that.

What were your first thoughts when you met?

KATIE: I thought he was arrogant but handsome. Seemed like a good trade-off to me.

BRIAN: Damn. Now I gotta go to confession.

Cats or Dogs?

KATIE: Neither.

BRIAN: Neither. But Ginger or Mary Ann? Mary Ann.

Where do you think would be your spouse’s dream vacation and what is your actual dream vacation?

KATIE: Brian’s dream vacation: Key West. We visit every winter. Katie’s dream vacation: Anywhere he agrees to go.

BRIAN: She would probably say Europe, specifically Ireland. My dream vacation continues to be Key West. Laid-back, blissfully warm respites in February, and Drag Queen Bingo.

Is your spouse like his father/like her mother?

KATIE: Ya think? Brian knows when he’s told me a story for the 100th time (just like his dad did) because I call him Verne.

BRIAN: She’s like her mother in that she’s strongly independent and neither has had their car keys taken away yet.

When the band starts playing who is first on the dance floor?

KATIE: Whichever one of us has a gun to the head.

BRIAN: Beats me. But I know who’s first to the parking lot.

What was your wedding processional song?

KATIE: There isn’t a chance Brian will know this. I barely remember. It was Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring. Given his choice it may have been We Gotta Get Out of This Place.

BRIAN: You’re kidding, right?

When you disagree, what is it usually about?

KATIE: In 45 years we’ve settled most everything. Today we argued about how to properly load paper in the printer. Yesterday, if I put too much sauce on the ravioli.

BRIAN: We’ve weathered all the big ones, sometimes just barely. Now it’s about stuff like mixing salad forks with regular forks in the silverware drawer or our tastes in music. I like the good stuff, she doesn’t.

What do you think you agree most on?

KATIE: Finances. Go figure, huh? The trinity of most marital arguments is about money, sex, and in-laws. We agree on money, we were both blessed with great in-laws, and no way am I saying anything about sex.

BRIAN: Actually, we’re simpatico on all the important things—money, politics, in-laws etc. I don’t think we’ve ever had a “you-bought-awhat?!” argument.

What do you admire about the other?

KATIE: Brian’s intelligence, calmness, and humor.

BRIAN: Her selfless nature and an uncanny ability to draw people out, even if they’re total strangers. True story: Last year she bought a bottle of pop at a gas station up north and 10 minutes later the check-out clerk had told her all about her meth rehab and divorce.

What is my spouse’s fashion style?

KATIE: Is there a fashion style during COVID?

BRIAN: She wears clothing.

What do you want from me?

What is my spouse’s hidden talent?

KATIE: He can give you the baseball pitch count he had on a guy from 1968. He can tell you how many times he struck the same guy out in 1972. He can tell you how many games he won. Our kids’ birthdates—not so much.

BRIAN: She’s not a wizard of Wall Street by any means but I think she’s done very well with our finances over the years. Debt-free retirements, health, three squares a day, and confident we’ll always have a nickel more than we need. If some people want more, that’s on them.

ancy Kokesch grew up on a farm and worked with a calves, pigs, and sheep as 4-H projects. It wasn’t until she adopted her second special needs child from Russia, however, that her animal ventures turned to raising therapy dogs—specifically Standard Poodles—to help children thrive.

Kokesch’s first daughter, Kennedi, was 10 months old when Nancy adopted her. After helping several other families adopt, Nancy saw a photo of Tatiana and knew she had to adopt her, too.

When she brought Tatiana home from the Russian orphanage where she had been neglected, Tatiana weighed just 16 pounds at 18 months. She was sick from tuberculosis, rickets, and other problems. She also had fetal alcohol syndrome and sensory issues.

Nancy had several small poodles at the time, but soon realized that the dogs were too frail and small to provide the interaction Tatiana needed.

“I needed bigger dogs that could be therapy dogs,” Kokesch said, “so I got Standard Poodles that adapted to specific training for Tatiana.”

With fetal alcohol syndrome and sensory issues, holding, cuddling, and rocking were all foreign to Tatiana. Sensory training began with peanut butter on Tatiana’s fingers—letting the dog lick it— then moving to the palm, hand, and cheek.

“A dog’s tongue is rough. The tactile feeling on her skin began desensitization training. That led to washing her skin with a rag or towel

By RUTH KLOSSNER

and a therapeutic method of brushing—essentially training her brain to accept it,” Kokesch said.

“There were a lot of meltdowns, but we adapted to what she needed,” Kokesch said.

Nancy soon discovered that other parents in Tatiana’s classes at the Theo Wright Center at Jefferson Elementary, play therapy groups, and the local chapter of the Minnesota Adoption Group also needed therapy dogs—so she raised her first litter of pups.

Fast forward 20 years. Kokesch is now raising four litters of pups each year at her business, Prairie’s Edge Standard Poodles, at her rural New Ulm home. With litters being eight to 12 pups, that’s a lot of prospective therapy dogs.

All dogs at Prairie’s Edge Standard Poodles are raised in the Kokesch home, with Nancy being hands-on in every aspect from the minute the pups are born. The pups are very social as the kids in the neighborhood often stop to play with them.

Pups are pre-sold online and/or to previous owners of Nancy’s dogs. The demand is so high that—for the last five years—Nancy has worked off a wait list. She’s now working on fall 2021 and spring 2022 orders.

“Prospective owners can specify male or female and color, but they still pick out the pup they want. They come to do that at four weeks of age. I say 90 percent of it is the puppy picking you,” she said. 

Nancy Kokesch with Snuffy, left, Molly, and Millie.

The little girls in Kenya were so excited to get new dresses that they put them on as soon as they were distributed. Kokesch delivered more than a hundred dresses made by the Little Dresses group in New Ulm.

Nancy Kokesch has a big heart, not just for her dogs and their forever familes, but for others, both locally and around the world.

“Where did this need to help people come from? It goes back to my 4-H days,” Nancy said. “We did a ton of community service. 4-H provided so many opportunities. I look way back, that’s where it all started…head, heart, hands.”

That fits with a saying that Kokesch often refers to, “Every ripple you create can cause a wave.”

Kokesch has “created waves” in numerous ways.

As a family, Nancy and daughters Kennedi and Tatiana started taking quilts to the homeless in the Twin Cities a number of years ago, working with People Incorporated of Minneapolis/St. Paul. Her nieces, other family members, and friends got involved—with the group filling three SUVs with 450 pairs of socks, 250 blankets and quilts, 25 coats, 40 facemasks; more than 50 hats, mittens and scarves; 40-plus sweatshirts, sweatpants and long sleeve shirts; and a few sheets and pillow cases this year.

In previous years, the group hand distributed the items themselves. Unfortunately, due to COVID, they weren’t able to do that this past December. People Incorporated did it through their Homeless Outreach program.

“It’s important that kids know what’s going to happen to the stuff we deliver, so a young lady—who herself had been homeless—explained it. The one person you help can be the next one who helps,” Nancy said.

Noting that it doesn’t take a lot of money to lend a helping hand, Kokesch mentioned writing letters to service members or making small items for residents of long-term care facilities.

“It doesn’t have to be a hundred dollars. Just give your time or take cookies to the little lady next door. There are so many ways you can help. It’s so much more rewarding when it’s not expected. The things that aren’t expected are the most rewarding,” she said.

The Kokesch family has long been involved in helping those less fortunate, from taking all the names left on the Giving Tree, to collecting shoes for Soles for Souls, to making mission trips.

When the family collected 23,000 pairs of shoes for Soles for Souls, Nancy and Kennedi, then 12 years old, were invited to travel to Honduras to help distribute them.

“We lived in Orphanage Immanuel which has 400 children. It’s run by a couple from California who moved there. We put shoes on all the kids, but the most interesting part was when we helped in the kitchen. We opened packages of ‘Feed My Starving Children’ food. Just a few weeks earlier, we had been in St. Peter, packing food for the program. It’s all a ripple,” Kokesch said.

The volunteers also helped fit steel-tipped boots that Red Wing Shoes sent to Honduras in the shipment. The boots went to workers at the brick factory who had been going to work in flip flops. Many had lost toes. Kokesch especially remembered one man who gave her a hug and said, “You’re changing my life” when he got new boots. 

Nancy, right, and family members the first year they took clothing for the homeless to St. Paul.

 “It was a very emotional trip. You really take stock when you get home. Kennedi wanted to take all her money and sponsor kids at the orphanage. That’s what I wanted to teach my kids. It’s rewarding when you go to places like that,” Nancy said. “That very first international mission trip really made me take stock, to wonder what kind of a mark I wanted to leave…what kind of a ripple did I want to make?”

Since that trip to Honduras, Kokesch has made two more international mission trips—the first to Kenya with fellow 4-Her and longtime friend Kathy Messerli and the second to Haiti just a year ago this month.

In Kenya, the two worked in the Light of Hope school and orphanage, operated by people from Minneapolis. They delivered donated laptops, crafts and art supplies, finger nail polish, and more…. “Little things like that can mean a lot,” she said. They also delivered 110 “Little Dresses” made by New Ulm women, going into a slum area where the little girls excitedly paraded around in their new dresses.

“I came home and realized that I didn’t need all the updated fancy stuff that we have,” she said.

Kokesch’s most recent trip was with Healing Haiti, another Minnesota organization. She traveled with eight other people that she didn’t know. In Haiti they helped women and children carry water from a water truck back to their huts—since they didn’t have another source of fresh water. Healing Haiti also runs a day school program for expectant mothers, a hospital, a farm plot, and a bakery.

“The most heartfelt thing we did was to go into the toddler area at the Mother Teresa home for sick and dying babies and hold and rock the little ones,” she said.

Kokesch offered a word of caution to those wanting to do humanitarian trips—be sure to research the sponsoring organizations to learn how much money goes to the mission, versus administration.

For many years, Nancy owned the Country Loft & Doll Haus in New Ulm, along with GnomeMade Fudge (later Nana’s Fudge & Sweet Treats). After closing Country Loft, Kokesch continued the fudge business in a certified kitchen built on to her rural New Ulm home, with her mom, Eileen, helping. After more than 30 years of making fudge, the business was recently sold to Sweet Kettle Madness of Revere.

 “At eight weeks they get to take their puppy home. I give them a whole puppy packet—a blanket with the mom’s scent, a small toy with a littermate’s scent, a new toy, puppy food, the pup’s medical record, and a natural dog treat cookie recipe.”

Kokesch also offers her forever families 24/7 access for help or questions after they take their pups home.

“Many dogs go for therapy dogs—emotional support, nursing homes. Poodles are people dogs. They like to help out, be challenged, and be the center of attention. Being therapy dogs is great for them,” Nancy said.

Along with being great therapy dogs, Standard Poodles also make good agility and hunting dogs.

“About the hunting …we just have to get people over the stigma of poodles being foofy yipping things,” Nancy said.

Poodles have also become shedding champions. No, not “shedding” in the way we usually think of the word—but trained to find and retrieve antlers shed by whitetail deer, mule deer, elk and other antlered species. Done mostly by collectors, the sport also provides insight into the habits of the animals that drop them.

Kokesch has placed dogs in 13 states, with the owners becoming part of her extended family.

“It’s important to me to know how much my families love their dogs. I get messages from them all the time. Families come back for their second and even third dog. There’s a syndrome—MPS—Multiple Poodle Stigma,” she said with a laugh.

To learn more about Prairie Edge Standard Poodles, check Facebook or visit minnesotapestandardpoodles.org. RVW

The volunteers of Healing Haiti helped the local women and children collect water from a water truck to carry it back to their huts.

Nancy Kokesch with children in Haiti a year ago this month.

BY MOLLY SLAMA

e all are familiar with Valentine’s Day commemorating St. Valentine on February 14. It’s typically a day associated with romantic love. While growing up, the day for me, however, was never the traditional romantic experience, but it was sweet and significant. Well before the episode in the television series “Parks and Recreation” made it famous, the ladies in my life—grandmother and mother—celebrated the long-established, “GALentine’s” Day, making Valentine’s Day my favorite holiday.

Sure, I still exchanged small treats and notes with classmates at the Catholic school I attended. But, I never had to feel pressure or obligation to receive something from a crush. This made the celebration so much more appealing. I knew I would get something super fun from my mom and grandma. It was our girl holiday and was always an upbeat day. Our offerings to each other would be nontraditional and new-fashioned. I’m not speaking for everyone, but I feel appreciated when I receive a gift. Not every favor would be a physical gift. A breakfast date or getting dessert could be the occasion. We enjoyed making heart-shaped foods, pizza, or quesadillas that are easy and festive to share.

There are no Valentine’s Day rules you must follow. Any friendship and relationship can be celebrated, even with

your pet. Micro-holidays can be recognized and used as an excuse to be kind to someone. Even if you are a traditional “Hallmarker” with expectations of expensive flowers, chocolates, and stuffed animals, love is love!

Just as there are many heart day stereotypes, there are just as many unconventional expressions. Example, discussing a cute outfit for longer than necessary. Small things are worth celebrating.

So, besides the Target dollar section, fun favors from special people in my life, and gratification of giving my own tenderness to others, the 14th of February gives me all the feels. I never had the chance to be let down from a lack of having a Valentine or an “unfaithful” boy or crush. Thanks to those ladies in my life, making it great without any room for defeat or disappointment. Now, as the mom myself, I continue those traditions on to my little ones.

For so many people, the idea of Valentine’s day can bring hard feelings. Singles everywhere can have the “love sucks” mantra, but it doesn’t have to be that way. Make it whatever you want. Showing gratitude for someone does not have to be all about couples. Any companions and peers can celebrate. At the least, try to think of it as a nice break from the long last months of winter.

Molly Slama (second from left) is pictured with her sister (left), daughter, and mother (right).

BY NELL MUSOLF

Oh, Lord, I was nervous. I’d set my hair with hot rollers and put on the dress I’d chosen— ivory with a beige jacket. I added a spritz of Shalimar and hoped I looked—and smelled— sophisticated instead of scared to death. Then I went into the living room to wait.

At precisely ten, my boyfriend, Mark, pulled into my parents’ driveway. He was carrying a bouquet of carnations and wearing a tie, something I’d never seen on him before. As prearranged, he walked through the snow to my bedroom window (it was on the first floor). My heart pounding, I hurried to meet him. Mark helped me climb out of the window, which wasn’t really necessary since no one else was home, but we were eloping and determined to do it the way people eloped in the movies. He handed me the carnations and then carried me across the lawn to his waiting car.

Snow started falling again as we drove to downtown Chicago. We parked the car in a parking garage and walked to City Hall where a lovely woman judge pronounced us husband and wife. I’m sure there were witnesses, but I don’t really remember them. I remember the judge had a music box on her desk. I remember Mark’s hand was shaking when he put the wedding ring on my finger. I remember the day was bitterly cold and my sophisticated ivory and beige dress was about as warm as tissue paper. Most of all, I remember being blissfully happy.

After we were married, we went out for pizza and then decided to celebrate our first night as husband and wife by going grocery shopping on our way back to our new apartment—living room, dining room, kitchen with a small pantry, bedroom, and bath in a nice neighborhood on the north side of Chicago, all for $235 a month, heat included. Those really were the days.

At the grocery store, we wandered up and down the aisles, holding each other’s hand tightly and trying to look like we knew what we were doing. I had no clue what to buy—I was 20 years old and used to my mom doing the grocery shopping—so we randomly threw items into the cart including essentials like diet soda, bagels, and the January 1981 issue of Cosmopolitan magazine—truly essential since January had the upcoming year’s Bedside Astrologer in it. We also bought Entemenn’s donuts, bacon, pasta, and a dozen eggs. As I reached for the carton of eggs, an elderly woman sized me up and said, obviously knowing a novice when she saw one, “Always twist the eggs before you buy them.

That way you find out if any are cracked.” I still twist the eggs every time I buy them.

Back at the apartment, we discovered that while there was heat and electricity, the gas stove didn’t work since the tenants (that meant us) were supposed to call the gas company and sign up for service, something we wouldn’t be able to do until Monday.

So we put away the groceries and made dinner using a popcorn popper and a toaster oven. I’m not quite sure how we managed it, but we were able to cook bacon spaghetti (an old family recipe so full of fat and sodium it should be outlawed by the AMA), scrambled eggs, and bagels. It was one of the best—and most romantic—meals either of us ever had.

It’s hard to believe, but all that happened 40 years ago. That cozy apartment in Chicago seems more like a dream now. What followed were nine moves, eight cats, three dogs, and two kids. What followed were new jobs and different zip codes and holding hands in the waiting room at various doctors’ offices. What followed were many good times, more than a few bad nights, and some days that were almost too perfect to be true. What followed was a marriage.

It was the beginning of a journey that has lasted four decades. Has it been perfect? Of course not. Has it been crazy? Occasionally. But what it has mainly been is so much fun. Mark and I still make each other laugh, often at inappropriate times which are somehow the most hilarious moments of all.

I’m nervous again and a little scared. Not because there is anything wrong in our marriage, but because of the fact we have been together so long and in the back of my head I know that sooner or later one of us is going to have to be the first to move on to whatever comes after this life. I can’t imagine not being married, not waking up next to my husband every morning. I’m dealing with that fear by refusing to think about it. What I’m thinking about instead is whatever is going on right now, this very minute, because right now is all any of us has. Right now is enough.

Still, sometimes I remember a line from the movie “Starting Over” where Jill Clayburgh says to Burt Reynolds, “I don’t breathe right without you.”

I understand exactly what she means since I’m not sure, after all these years, if I can breathe on my own.

Mark and Nell Musolf 40 years ago and today. Pictured on bottom is the building where the Musolfs first apartment was in Chicago.

BY LORI MATHIOWETZ

Belly Button is not a friendly cat. I surmise that she is still irritated that we would name her something as confounding as “Belly Button,” but it’s up for debate. And rightly so, because she wasn’t always like this. As a kitten we referred to her as Helicopter-Kitty because of the audaciously loud chopper purr that thudded from her tiny body.

“Why is her butt on my face?” was a common query from my non-cat person husband each morning upon waking. Soon after, our helicopter landing wakeup ritual began the sneezing. She came to us from a farm suffering from some sort of rare kitty-cold, the main symptom of which was a deluge of green feline boogers rocketed onto our walls, carpet, and yes, faces. Cleanup was delightful.

Around the age of one, long gone was the affectionate morning cuddle ritual and her “tempurrment” completely changed. I can’t even tell you why. Nothing particularly traumatic happened. I half wonder if that one time I touched her belly, I accidentally activated the murder button, but I can’t be sure.

You don’t pet Belly Button. Cat blogs will tell you that if you have an unaffectionate cat you should focus on the places with scent glands—chin, ears etc. This doesn’t work with BB. If you initiate touch before she gives you permission, you’ll find yourself on Amazon shopping for a prosthetic hand shortly after your foolish stunt.

You don’t initiate—you let BB come to you. If you dare coerce her, my advice is to extend one finger. No, not the whole hand! Absolutely do not stroke her just because she sniffed you. One. Finger. Probably choose one you’re not particularly attached to. If she seeks you out (which is unlikely) you may retract your finger back into a fist and she will give you a head bump. The repeated head to fist bump ceremony is still not an invitation to pet her. You just keep making the fist and she just keeps bumping it. Change it up at your own peril.

Less a pet, and more that college roommate that stayed in their room and played video games for four years, BB teaches me a timely lesson in the sterile COVID world I find myself attempting to navigate. We are a family of Olafs: we like warm hugs. Consequently, planet earth is especially inhospitable to our species at the moment. We live at a time in which the human instinct to lean in, to physically connect with a hug or a handshake, is a politically charged statement. Belly Button redefines “closeness” for me. Is it really that she’s just a stand-offish jerk? Or is that I’m a judgy cat owner for thinking her somehow less-than, simply because she has firm kitty boundaries?

My middle daughter Eve claimed BB as “her cat.” The dog belongs to mom, ’cause duh. And the fuzzy, diva cat belongs to the fuzzy, diva eldest daughter.

So that means the “mean cat” falls to the middle child, by default. Oddly enough, the child starved of the spotlight seems best suited to love the unaffectionate cat. She often reports to me, “Mom, I just know how to pet BB,” then gently places one finger on her kitty third eye exactly one time, and then goes back to whatever she was doing. Mostly they just sit next to each other, often with their backs to each other. Yet they seem to seek each other out, companions of the strangest sort. Honestly, I don’t get it. Much like I don’t get why she suddenly turned into such a recluse after we rescued her sick, boogery kitten face.

Life is just weird, and some events have no real explanation. Attempting to make sense of every little thing ultimately just creates a lot of work for yourself; explaining and then fixing on anything you find not to your liking. It’s not always lazy or apathetic to opt for shrugging your shoulders and walking away. Sometimes it’s probably the hardest, most loving decision you can make. Accept the unpleasant, let it go, or just cut the cord.

You know, kind of like a Belly Button.

Conflict exists in all relationships. At CADA, we spend a lot of time discussing the continuum of healthy, unhealthy, and abusive relationships. Of course, even in the healthiest relationships, disagreements happen, and that can be a good thing. Addressing conflict through discussion with a partner can be a way to learn more about each other, share your opinions, and heal hurts. Sometimes, working through conflict in a healthy way can bring couples closer together.

Conflict can be a major stressor in relationships. Not many of us were taught how to effectively manage conflict, so we often just mimic what we saw in our homes growing up, for better or worse. Thankfully, conflict resolution skills are just that—skills. We can learn strategies for managing conflict, practice those strategies, and get better over time.

Some strategies to address conflicts that arise in a relationship include:

Examine what you’re feeling

It can be hard to pinpoint exactly what we’re feeling in moments of conflict or stress. We may be able to identify some of what we’re feeling— like anger—but when we dig a little deeper we can uncover other emotions lurking under the surface. Perhaps that anger is the tip of the iceberg and underneath the water is resentment, frustration, hurt, or embarrassment. Journaling can be a great way to uncover some of your feelings. It can also be helpful to take time to process your own emotions before jumping into an argument.

Get curious and look for the root cause

Try thinking about the last few disagreements you’ve had with your partner. Is there a common thread? Do you keep having the same fight over and over again? Do the arguments happen around the same time of day? For instance, maybe there are frequent arguments about who does what chore at home. On the surface, that may look like an argument about laundry, but when digging deeper it may actually be about inequity in the relationship, feeling unappreciated, or unexpressed or unmet expectations.

Listening skills

We’ve all had an experience where we feel unheard or misunderstood, and that’s often where a lot of conflict can start. In any discussion, especially a disagreement, it is common for us to listen to respond rather than listening to understand. When heightened emotions are in play, it can be hard to listen to what your partner is really trying to express. Instead, we’re often listening to come up with a defense or ways to prove a point. In conflict, listening is just as important as how we express ourselves.

Establish ground rules

Sometimes it can be helpful to set ground rules for how you manage conflict in your relationship. You and your partner can agree to whatever rules make you both feel heard and respected. Some examples include no swearing, avoiding the words “always” or “never,” do not talk about ending the relationship unless that is what you actually want to do. Setting boundaries and ground rules can help ensure that you both fight fair and don’t end up saying things that you can’t repair.

Call a timeout

Have you ever been in an argument where it is clear you’re not hearing each other or you’re both repeating the same things over and over again? That may be a clue that it is time to take a break. It doesn’t always feel good to leave something unresolved, but if you set a time limit and agree to return to the conversation, you can both give yourself some time to let your rational brains take the wheel and put your emotional brains in the passenger seat.

Use I statements

It can be easy to hurl accusations and blame one another during an argument. However, this will almost always put someone in a defensive position. Instead of starting with you (“you’re so _____” or “Why can’t you ____?”), try starting with an “I” statement (“I feel ____ when you _____.”). I statements focus on your experience, thoughts, feelings, and perspective.

Apologize

An apology is more than just saying the words, “I’m sorry.” An apology is an honest effort to repair any hurt your partner experienced, whether it was intentional or unintentional. An apology is an acknowledgment of responsibility and an offer to right a wrong. It can be helpful to ask, “Is there anything I can do to make this better?” An apology is not sincere if you have ulterior motives or the apology is made as a means to an end.

While all relationships involve some conflict, it is important to be honest with yourself and recognize when it feels like there is too much conflict. While conflict is normal, disagreements shouldn’t lead to personal attacks, efforts to hurt a partner, or silencing a partner. Everyone deserves to respectfully express themselves without fear of consequences.

KRISTEN WALTERS Development & Communications Manager CADA, Mankato

Story By RUTH KLOSSNER

PHOTOS BY RUTH KLOSSNER & MATT WIECHMANN

hen it came to planning their new home in Mankato, Chicago transplants Margaret and Donald Dugo knew exactly what they wanted. After all, both had already built three previous homes. Margaret outlined what they wanted—space, a decent back yard, big closets, lots of storage (throughout the house and in the garage since they have no basement), a formal dining room, two bedrooms, two bathrooms.

“That’s what we have, all on one level,” Margaret said of their beautiful home in the Dancing Waters Sub-Division not far from Minnesota State University, Mankato. Donald said, “We had bigger houses before, including a three-level house in Chicago. This is a nice home for us. I don’t like to see boats and trailers in driveways. They have a good covenant in this development and they take care of watering and snow removal.”

He added, “As you age, your requirements change. I had double knee surgery a few years ago. This house is ADA compliant. This may be our last hurrah. We wanted to make sure we had everything we wanted. We maxed it out…this is the largest home we could put on this lot.”

Donald and Margaret moved to Mankato on May 27, 2020—in the midst of the COVID pandemic—because they wanted to be closer to Margaret’s family that included three brothers with health issues. She grew up on a farm in the Janesville/Elysian area, went to school in Waseca, and has family around Madison Lake, Elysian, Waseca, and Mankato. Donald has no children, and little family, so no longer had a bond to Chicago where he had spent his entire life.

When they decided to move to Mankato, the Dugos worked with Home Run Realty and looked at various homes before finally combining the plans of several they saw. Wilcon Construction designed and built the home, with the Dugos selecting and buying most of the fixtures and hardware.

“Wilcon was great to work with,” Donald said.

Margaret and Donald were both widowed. A friend at their church in Mount Prospect, Illinois, suggested that Margaret, then a widow for four years, should talk to Donald as he was having trouble adjusting to being a widower after the death of his wife. She did—suggesting that they talk over a cup of coffee. 

The Dugos house faces to the north. The Dugos home office, on the left end of the house, gets good light. A build-out on the same end of the house, to the back, is the sun room.

With windows on three sides, the sun room certainly lives up to its name. The Dugos spend a lot of time in this comfortable room. In-floor heat is used throughout, with the bedroom and sunroom on one port, the other rooms on another. All windows have inside the glass blinds as Margaret is “not big” on drapes.

The view from the sunroom into the living room really shows how comfortable and efficient the home is.

Donald and Margaret Dugo.

The pantry, just off the kitchen, includes a sink and many open shelves.

An electric fireplace provides warmth to the living room. The mantel matches the room’s overhead beams and the rock matches exterior rock around the house.

The custom designed and built ceiling beams are a great focal point and set the living room apart. Each room has a fan/light combination.

The dining room is tucked between the entry, to the right, and kitchen, to the left.

One wall of the L-shaped kitchen has the refrigerator/ freezer and cabinets.

The kitchen island has a sink and provides eating space. The back wall has lots of storage space, along with the stove and oven.

Since they don’t have a basement, the Dugos planned for lots of storage and a workbench in their three-car heated garage. Another wall is covered with huge storage cabinets.

Margaret and Donald are world travelers, having been to many countries, among them Switzerland, Ireland, Russia, Hong Kong, Japan, China, Australia, New Zealand—all the continents except Antarctica.

Although

The airy and bright large master bedroom includes special wall hangings, along with family photos and items that the Dugos have collected in their world travels.

The contractor had to modify the plans to give the Dugos the huge walk-in master bedroom closet that they wanted. Margaret’s sewing machine is in the center—and also provides space for folding clothes, etc.

it was planned as a third bedroom, this bright room facing the front of the house is the office—again with lots of cabinets and shelves. More shelves in the office.

The well-planned laundry is between the pantry and door to the garage.

 “A year later, he said, ‘Let’s go for that cup of coffee,’” Margaret said with a laugh.

Donald explained, “We went to the same church and the same mass, but it’s a big church and we sat on opposite sides.” He added, “I had been married for 40 years.”

Margaret and Donald were married in 2005. A month after the wedding, Donald was diagnosed with stage 4 non Hodgkin’s lymphoma and went through chemo. The cancer was found because Margaret urged him to get a physical.

“She was my lifesaver,” Donald said. Donald had worked in an IT company for 40 years, starting as a tech and moving into managing computer installation for companies. He retired in 2000 when his wife was seriously ill.

“I thought, if he could retire to take care of his wife when she had cancer, he must be a pretty good man,” Margaret said. She had been a teacher for about 40 years, with more than 30 of those in Evansville, Illinois. She taught all grades from kindergarten through sixth grade, retiring in 1998. RVW

Like other rooms, the guest bedroom features space-saving pocket doors, along with custom moldings around the doors and windows.

The walk-through master bath has a vanity with two sinks and a large mirror, the shower, and linen cabinets on one side and a tub on the other side. It all leads to a huge walk-in closet. The large shower is reinforced as it doubles as a storm shelter.

RIVERFRONT

410 S. Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 507-625-1107

HILLTOP

2010 Adams St. Mankato, MN 507-625-9070

MEDICINE SAFETY

Practicing safe medication storage while at home and on-the-go is important to ensure the safety of you and members of your family.

Here are some tips to help keep you and your family safe:

Put medicines up and away out of children’s reach and sight. Children are often curious and put things in their mouth. In the blink of an eye they can get into something that could hurt them.

Put medicines away every time. Never leave a medication out even if you are going to give it again in a few hours.

Always close the child protective cap until it is locked and secure.

medication safety.

Teach children what medication is and why a parent or trusted adult should be the only one to give it to them.

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Did you know that 70% of surveyed married couples actually like to cook together, and those couples that do enjoy cooking together are significantly more satisfied in ALL areas of their lives than couples who don’t cook together? The exciting thing is when it comes to relationships, engaging in at least 15 minutes of dedicated time together can strengthen the relationship and makes each other feel more loved. Whether that is with your kids, a friend, grandparents, your spouse or your partner. Cooking together can do just that!

Here are four reasons cooking together can help strengthen you relationships.

1 2 3 4

Better Communication. Cooking with a partner requires a lot of back-and-forth communication. You may read the recipe to your partner or ask for utensils. The two of you will discuss preferences or work together to figure out an unfamiliar technique. Communication, or a lack of it, can improve the outcome or ruin the results of your efforts. However, strengthening your communication skills will have clear benefits as you work to get through other challenges and obstacles together.

Teamwork. Couples who cook together tend to develop trusting relationships as they support each other throughout meal prep. Working together for a common goal leads to cooperation and improved communication. As you prepare menus, choose ingredients, review recipes, and talk together during the cooking process, you and your loved one strengthen skills that translate to other areas of your lives.

Learn new things about each other. Even if you’ve been together for years, the closeness of learning a new skill leads to discoveries. Imagine being married for over 20 years without knowing your partner’s love of blue cheese in its many varieties. Tidbits of foodie information aren’t the only things to discover. As you converse with each other, the feelings of camaraderie may help you open up about other uncovered life stories.

Quality time. While working together to prepare meals, you’ll have time to talk about what’s going on in your lives. You may talk about current events or your childhood. More than just talking, however, you’ll create moments of laughter and tenderness. A disastrous mistake or an ingredient mishap could go down in your shared history. When you perfectly prepare a challenging meal, your triumph will be a memory you treasure for years. Don’t forget the impact of sensations, such as taste and smell, on your memories.

INGREDIENTS

3 tbsp. Gustare Vita olive oil

3 clove(s) garlic, minced

1 tbsp. fresh sage, chopped, plus additional for garnish

1 (1 1/4 lbs.) Hormel Always Tender fresh pork loin

2 medium yellow onions, quartered

3 bosc pears, cored and quartered

2 tbsp. Hy-Vee salted butter

2 tbsp. Hy-Vee all-purpose flour

1 1/2 c. Hy-Vee 33%-less-sodium chicken broth

3/4 c. pear nectar

Hy-Vee salt, to taste

Hy-Vee ground black pepper, to taste

Fresh cranberries, for garnish

DIRECTIONS

1 2 3 4

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Pat pork dry with paper towels. Combine oil, garlic, and sage in a medium bowl. Brush half of the oil mixture on pork. Toss onions and pears with remaining oil mixture.

Brown pork on all sides in a large skillet on medium-high heat. Transfer pork to a rimmed baking pan. Roast for 10 minutes. Add onion and pear mixture to pan. Roast for 15 to 20 minutes more or until meat thermometer reaches 145 degrees. Tent pork with foil and let stand for 10 minutes.

Prepare sauce while pork is standing. Melt butter in skillet over medium-high heat. Whisk in flour until smooth. Add broth and nectar. Cook until thickened and bubbly. Cook for 1 minute more.

Serve pork with onions and pears. Drizzle sauce over pork. Garnish with cranberries and sage, if desired.

Nutrition facts per serving: 300 calories per serving, 13g Total Fat, 4.5g Saturated Fat, 0g Trans Fat, 60mg Cholesterol, 310mg Sodium, 25g Total Carbohydrates, 4g Dietary Fiber, 15g Total Sugars, 0g Added Sugars, 20g Protein.

April Graff, MS, RD, LD - Hilltop Dietitian 507.625.9070 | AGraff@hy-vee.com

Brent & Rachel Kucera

RVS RIVER VIEW SANITATION

What is a typical day like?

Brent’s (who is the president) day starts early making sure the daily operations are running smoothly. He splits time between the main office in New Ulm and the maintenance shop in Sleepy Eye. Rachel (who is financial officer) starts her day by getting the kids off to school, then off to work to keep up with all the financial aspects of running a business. Rachel runs payroll, pays the bills, and does the monthly and annual reporting that is needed. Her days are flexible, thanks to our awesome office ladies who keep the customer service aspect taken care of.

When did you take the reins of RVS?

January 2015 when we purchased Braun & Borth Sanitation. The opportunity came up and we decided to give the sanitation world a try. We had a quick learning curve and learned the business from Brian Borth, the previous owner of BBS, and a valued employee today. After getting settled into the business, we were asked if we would also like to purchase River View Sanitation (RVS). So, in January 2017 we took over RVS and decided to make the sanitation companies our primary focus.

What do you enjoy most about running the business?

We are thankful for our loyal employees and enjoy the relationships we have with them. The stability of the waste industry was part of the appeal when we were presented with the opportunity.

What challenges do you face as a couple working together?

Our biggest challenge is not taking work home. Sometimes we find ourselves talking work in the evenings rather than having those discussions at the office. It just happens. We truly love our jobs and the people who make our company, so it’s easy to want to talk work at home.

Did you make any changes or improvements for RVS when you took over?

Tell us about River View Sanitation

River View Sanitation is a waste hauling company that services Brown County and the surrounding area. We hold city waste hauling contracts in Sleepy Eye, Springfield, and Comfrey and the Brown County Recycling Hauling contract. River View Sanitation also has a shredding division for document destruction. We have 20 employees and a fleet of 20 trucks. Our main office is located in New Ulm and our maintenance shop is located in Sleepy Eye.

What are your backgrounds?

Both of us attended University of Minnesota Morris and married a week after graduation. We moved back to Sleepy Eye shortly after our oldest child was born. From 2007 to 2015, Rachel stayed at home raising the kids and Brent worked for Mathiowetz Construction, the family business run by Rachel’s parents. Rachel worked for Mathiowetz Construction through high school and college, learning all aspects of the office work. Brent started with Mathiowetz Construction on the road crews, eventually settling into the bidding team.

The biggest change that happened after we purchased RVS was merging our two companies—Braun & Borth Sanitation and River View Sanitation—into one. It took some time to get the two companies completely integrated. We also re-evaluated the use of our own recycling sort lines. Both RVS and BBS had small sorting lines to process the county recyclables. We found it much more efficient to ship our co-mingled product to Dem-Con in Shakopee. We have also upgraded a lot of equipment and bought a ton of dumpsters in the five years since getting into this business.

Plans for the future for RVS?

We are happy with how things are going right now, but if opportunities to expand would come up, we would consider expanding. We hope that, someday, at least one of our four kids would want to come back and run the company.

Advise for a couple considering running a business together? Respect each other’s strengths and weaknesses. If you allow each other to use their strengths and support each other’s weaknesses then the work partnership should be successful. The second would be to have a signal for each other to stop “talking shop” when outside of work hours…we just say “ding” (as if ringing a bell). We saw it on a TV show and it works.

QI’ve been working from home for months now, and I’ve noticed I am constantly slumped over. I’ve noticed I have more neck and back pain as well. How can I correct my posture?

AAs you read these words, I want you to draw attention to your shoulders. Are they scrunched up by your ears? Or are they back and down, with your neck feeling long and lengthened? The latter being the correct anatomical position, yet many of us spend the majority of our day “hunched and scrunched” over our devices, steering wheels, computers, and even on the couch.

As you read this, I invite you to take big deep breath in. As you do so, lift your shoulders up towards your ears. As you exhale, drizzle the shoulder

blades back and down. Do this a few more times with your eyes closed. Then drop your chin to your chest as you inhale, and as you exhale let your head roll from side to side feeling the neck become longer and your movements more deliberate.

Set a timer on your phone and do this short exercise throughout your day. Perhaps its midway between morning and lunch, or more frequently like the top of every hour. But incorporate mindful movement into your day to prevent the “hunch and scrunch”—you are not a rodent. Here are some other tips:

Where in the home are you working?

When establishing your home office space, location is key. If you are planning to sprawl across the couch, or never leave your bed, you may struggle with neck and back pain due to lack of support from the couch or mattress. You may also struggle mentally with establishing a “work space” independent from your “recreational space,” and this can also impact your sense of well-being as well as productivity.

What is proper posture?

From the ground up, proper posture looks like this: both feet are flat on the ground. The knees are at right angles with your rear in the chair, thighs extend straight out from the hips. Pelvis should be neutral with both “sit bones” planted firmly into the seat. Pull the navel in toward the spine, lift the chest, and roll the shoulders back and down broadening through the collar bones. Chin is slightly tucked, and the neck is long supporting a neutral gaze forward. Arms should be resting on a surface with the elbows bent at 90 degrees. Elbows should be tucked in toward your sides and monitor should be at eye level. Ok now stay put for the next eight hours....

Use Props

If your chair is too high, put books or an ottoman below your feet. If you are slouching, place a few pillows behind your back. Consider stacking the laptop on a few books or all those extra Amazon boxes that magically keep showing up on your doorstep to make your own standing desk, or a functional workstation. Make the props do the work to support your body, you can never have too many pillows… or Amazon boxes.

Other exercises

Place palms flat on a table with arms extended. As you exhale, bend at the waist and drop your head below the height of the table edge keeping the arms straight and the palms on the surface of the table. Repeat for few breath cycles. If you have stairs, place your right foot up on the third stair. Using the railing for balance and keeping your left leg straight, start to lean into the right leg feeling a stretch in the hip flexor and groin on the left. Do this for a few breath cycles and switch legs.

Above all, make time for natural movement during your day. Take a walk, or have a 10-minute “exercise snack” where you get your heart rate up for even just a short period of time. Your body was made to move, so honor that and shake the dust off from time to time.

Stay healthy friends!

Hello, I am so excited to be the EATS feature this month! My name is Tina Filzen and I am originally from Belview, Minnesota. Aside from a few years growing up in Texas, I have always lived in southern Minnesota. I worked at Anderson’s Cafe in Belview as a cook beginning at age 16. Also, when I was a teenager, I started decorating cakes for members of the community for special events such as weddings, graduations, baby showers, and birthdays. This is something I have continued to enjoy throughout my life. My husband, Dale, and I currently live on our family farm between Renville and the Redwood river bottom. We have three daughters—Emily (22), Katie (20), and Melody (16). I work full time in health information department at Olivia Hospital and Clinic, but my real passions happen outside of the office!

My love for cooking and baking stems from my childhood. My mom allowed me to experiment in the kitchen and make whatever I wanted, and that is how I learned many tricks I utilize today.

I treasured the hours I spent watching and helping my grandma and great aunts cooking, and learned a great deal from their knowledge as well. I believe that cooking is an act of love, and it brings me so much happiness to serve delicious food for my family.

I enjoy the entire process that goes in to creating our most treasured family recipes. Many of these processes begin with planting seeds in the garden to harvesting and preparing the produce to eat. We grow, harvest, and preserve a multitude of produce items including tomatoes, apples, cucumbers, raspberries, peppers, corn, cherries, green beans, onions, rhubarb, cabbage, strawberries, beets, zucchini, etc. We use this produce to make jellies, jams, applesauce, tomato soup, salsa, pickles, and pie filling that can be enjoyed throughout the year.

I wholeheartedly prefer food that is homemade, and believe that if you have the staples in your cupboard you can create many amazing dishes. I love to enhance food’s flavor with herbs and spices, and my all-time favorite place to buy spices is a website called The Spice House. The create bottles and flat packs of authentic, quality spices. Of course, there are many local places to easily purchase spices in bulk or otherwise. My trick is to buy individual spices and create my own mixtures (Cajun, pizza seasoning, and blackened seasoning are my most frequently used) rather than buying pre-mixed.

INGREDIENTS

1 1/2 T paprika

1T garlic powder

1 T onion powder

1 T thyme

1 tsp. pepper

1 tsp. cayenne pepper

1 tsp. basil

1 tsp. oregano

I like to add some blackened seasoning when browning hamburger for hot-dishes such as tater tot hot-dish. It brings a great flavor to traditional dishes. This seasoning can also be mixed with some olive oil and dill for a glaze on tilapia.

Another seasoning I like to create is Pizza Seasoning. I use this in homemade pizza sauce.

INGREDIENTS

4 T oregano

2 T basil

1 T onion flakes

1 T garlic powder

1 T thyme

1 T fennel

1 T paprika

1 T coarse black pepper

1 T lemon zest

The recipes I am sharing go hand-in-hand with each other. The salsa recipe can be used not only as a homemade salsa, but also can create a delicious sweet chili or a scrumptious taco soup. We have included the recipe for taco soup, salsa, and June’s corn, which is how we preserve sweet corn and is a staple in the flavorful taco soup. The salsa and corn recipes are meant to be preserved in the summertime and used throughout the rest of the year for quick meals.

Makes 8 pints

INGREDIENTS

3+ quarts of tomatoes, chopped

2-6 jalapeño peppers and seeds

2 green peppers, chopped (can also use orange, red, and yellow peppers)

2-3 onions, chopped

2 c. celery, chopped

3 tsp. salt

1/2 c. brown sugar

2-3 tsp. vinegar

1 tsp. garlic powder or fresh garlic

Cook mixture for one hour. Put into canning jars and process in canner. Enjoy throughout the year!

INGREDIENTS

8 c. sweet corn, cut from cob

1 stick butter 1/4

sugar

Combine ingredients. Simmer and cool. Pour into quart Ziploc bags. Freeze.

Brown 1 1/2 lbs. hamburger and add 1/4 cup taco seasoning. Add two quarts of the tomato salsa (from above recipe). Add two cans of kidney beans and one quart frozen corn (the June’s corn recipe). Heat through. Serve with shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream and corn chips to taste (we like Fritos).

Being a professional cleaner and organizer of homes means I’ve worked with plenty of pet owners on a variety of issues. From cleaning carpet smells and spots to dusting fur from virtually every surface of the home, pets definitely make themselves part of the family and home in every way. I’m a dog owner myself, so I’m familiar with many of the challenges you may have with keeping your house clean, pet items organized, and trying to save money as much as possible along the way.

Here are a few hints and tips to help you lower stress, reduce mess, and stay as organized as possible.

A healthy pet is a happy pet that also saves on vet bills. When is the last time you washed and dried your pet’s food and water bowls? Just like human dishes, pet dishes grow bacteria that can make your pets sick. If you’ve ever noticed slime in the water bowl, that’s bacteria that needs to be washed. To properly sanitize, you’ll want to make sure to use hot water, soap, and completely dry (either by air or towel). You can use the dishwasher.

Don’t buy more when you can use what you already have. Pets accumulate a lot of items that they need, some items daily and other things sporadically. You don’t want to waste time hunting for what you need, nor do you want to repurchase what you already own. Staying organized solves both. Use clear over-the-door pocket organizers (often sold as shoe or accessory organizers) to store leashes, brushes, clippers, treats, meds, collars, harnesses, booties, toys, etc.

Slow down a fast-eating dog with a simple trick. If you have a dog that likes to eat really fast, try putting a heavy ball (like a lacrosse ball) in the center of the bowl before adding food. The dog will have to slow down to eat the food between the ball and the edge of the dish. Be sure to use one that he doesn’t associate with playing and remove immediately after eating.

BY CINDY HAUGLAND tidytightwads.com

Make your own snacks and treats. Dog treats are very easy to make and most recipes include very few ingredients. Use the cookie cutters you already have to make treats in fun shapes that can also double for a quick gift. There are thousands of recipes online for homemade dog treats, but many include peanut butter, pumpkin puree, and/or yogurt. Obviously if your dog has allergies or sensitivities, you’ll want to watch ingredients closely. Since there aren’t any preservatives, store extra treats in the freezer or share with fur-friends.

Clean cat or dog fur off furniture with this trick. After you’ve swept, dusted, and vacuumed all the fur you can off of your furniture, you’ve likely found that tape rollers work fairly well to get the remaining fur off IF it’s loose enough. To loosen, use a clean, dry sneaker with a rubber sole to gentle rub over the fabric surface. The rubber will often pull stubborn fur out for easier pick up.

Repurpose unmated socks into cat toys. Smaller socks work best, but any size can be used to fill with some excess fabric or rag (to give it a little weight and substance) and a jingle bell from the dollar store. Next, sprinkle a little catnip into the sock and tie tightly with a piece of ribbon or string. You could also sew the sock closed if you’d like.

Repurpose T-shirts into dog chews. If your dog loves to chew, you can make long-lasting dog chews for free, when you cut and tie old t-shirts into these tightly woven toys that take about 20 minutes to make. Once you learn the four-piece pattern and how to pull verytightly, they are easy enough for kids to make. Search for “square knot t-shirt dog chew pattern” on Google to find some tutorials. This is different from a simple braid, which isn’t strong enough to last more than a few bites from many dogs.

Winter is here, and everyone must deal with the cold, snow, and ice, as well as the dry skin issues that are common during this season. With a drop-off in the level of moisture in the air, as well as humidity, winter months are prime time for skin to become drier and lead to further skin issues. Washing hands and wearing masks are key steps to preventing COVID-19, but they can dry out your skin.

To combat dry skin, and save yourself from itchy or painful skin that is prone to infection, try these preventive self-care tips.

Cover up.

This tip speaks for itself. In winter, it’s important to bundle up when going outdoors ― not just for warmth, but also to protect your skin. Hats, mittens, scarves and insulated coats are your best friends, even if you don’t have far to go.

Moisturize every day.

It’s vital to keep your skin healthy and moisturized during the winter. Make it a part of your daily routine. Use a hypoallergenic lotion as opposed to lotions that are heavy with scents. Also, use a brand that doesn’t irritate your skin.

PETER REISNER, M.D. Family Medicine Mayo Clinic Health System

When outdoors, wear sunscreen. This may seem like an odd tip, but you can still get a sunburn when outside during the winter. If you’re going to be outside for a prolonged period doing activities such as snowshoeing, skiing, or snowboarding, lather on the sunscreen before heading outside.

Use a humidifier.

During the winter, run a humidifier in your home. Using a humidifier will add moisture to the air that decreases in the cold weather. This moisture will help combat dry skin problems.

Some other skin problems that may arise during the winter include dandruff and dermatitis. For those with dandruff, over-the-counter shampoos can be beneficial. Make sure to choose a dandruff shampoo with selenium sulfide or zinc pyrithione. You may need to switch between these two if either one stops working. You can manage dermatitis by taking shorter baths and showers using warm, rather than hot, water. Use a gentle, non-soap cleanser and dry yourself gently with a soft towel. While your skin is still damp, seal in moisture with an oil, cream or lotion.

See your health care provider if you have chronic or severe dry skin problems that don’t improve with over-the-counter treatments.

STYLE

All elements of design apply to fashion, but there are four to keep in mind when building your wardrobe: shape, color, texture, and line. These will help you look and feel your best.

2 Of the four elements, the first that is noticed, and the most important, is shape. When you consider shape, think silhouette. This is where you emphasize your best features using the appropriate clothing design for you. Your silhouette is easily altered with small changes in your style.

3 Color can affect your mood and the way others respond to you. When choosing color for your wardrobe use a variety of colors that compliment your skin tone.

4 This year color will play a large role in fashion! As we look with hope to the future, there is a new importance in getting the most out of every day. Dressing in colors will set a more positive tone.

5 Layering texture adds dimension and unique characteristics to your look. When you want to be strong with an emotion, choose the associated texture and dress in it from head to toe.

6 After months of staying at home, texture can help hide those additional, undesirable bumps and creases.

7 Line is used to change the interior look of a silhouette by elongating or shortening featured areas. Style lines can be created by several things: belts, ruffles, seams, a color line, or a pocket.

Her Happy Place | St. Peter

Over the past few years, but especially during 2020, I’ve started seeing gardening as more than just a hobby—it’s one of my most effective forms of self-care. Gardening is a calming and self-centering activity. I usually work in my garden by myself, which gives me time and space for self-reflection. I improve my strength and maintain my cardiovascular health. I get vitamin D from the sunshine. I create, attempt, problem-solve, fail, learn, succeed. As my plants grow, my confidence grows alongside them, especially when I try something new and it works out. Aside from the tangible harvests, such as flowers and veggies, I also cultivate patience, resourcefulness, and imagination.

No matter the world’s wider circumstances, working in my garden eases my mind and stimulates my senses. I feel sun and wind on my skin, I listen to bird songs and buzzing insects, I smell sweet flowers and pungent herbs. It’s liberating to turn my mind off and relax, losing track of my everyday worries and anxieties as I focus on trimming, watering, and weeding. Most days, I can reliably improve my moods by simply interacting with my plants. (Yes, I do talk to them!)

Mental health benefits

I recently read a list of mental health wellness tips, published online by a New York psychologist. Her list of 25 actions we can take to improve our mental health included many that are easily accomplished through gardening:

Participating in a creative art (I’ve heard gardening referred to as “the slowest of the performing arts”)

Spending time outside for at least 30 minutes each day

Being active for at least 30 minutes each day

Noticing the good in the world (flowers and butterflies and sunshine, oh my!)

Finding something tangible that you can control (and then controlling it)

Committing to a long-term project

Engaging in repetitive movements

Helping others

LAURA SCHWARZ New Ulm native Minneapolis-based horticulturist & writer

Let me elaborate on a few of these ideas. Tearing up a corner of your yard or planting a new vegetable garden can be a great workout, and exercise is always good for your mental health (list item #3). You’ll expend creative energy as you figure out how to arrange your plants in garden beds and container plantings. Creativity helps us relieve and process emotions, especially feelings of stress or anguish (#1). Since new plants need time to establish and grow, gardening is a long-term project, which can distract us and focus our energy on the future, instead of on any present-day stressors (#6).

Tending a garden can serve as a small exercise in control as we make decisions that produce immediate results. In times of uncertainty, the ability to control something, no matter how minor, can empower and anchor us (#5). The repetitive movements of weeding, raking, digging, mulching, and watering can have calming effects on our bodies and minds. Research shows that repetitive movement can soothe humans, helping us remain steady under pressure. Participating in repetitive tasks can also relieve our brains of the worry and anxiety we might be regularly experiencing (#7).

In spite of my own reclusive gardening tendencies, I have to admit that gardening is inherently community-oriented. You can grow extra produce or cut flowers to share with your neighbors. Thinning and dividing your perennial gardens will inevitably lead to excess plants that you can give to other gardeners. People in your community will appreciate any and all beauty your garden provides, and it will bring them joy. Contributing to the well-being of others gives us a sense of agency when we might otherwise feel overwhelmed or powerless (#8).

I once heard someone say that “Gardening is the time to be your own best friend.” I wholeheartedly agree, and I encourage you to add gardening to your own self-care routine. Let’s grow!

My spouse is the perfect complement to me. He has strengths where I have weaknesses. He makes me a better person, and there is no one else I'd rather have on my team in this game of life. Also, he makes me laugh!

My husband always treats me with respect. He walks beside me not in front or behind me.

I love my little imperfect family because they remind me everyday how lucky I am to be a part of it, and how life doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.

Because

lets me be the hot pink, kooky, loud, cat-loving person I am and doesn’t make me feel like I have to apologize for it or change. He is my partner!

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Floating Relieves Stress

Floating has become the best-kept secret to safely and naturally relieve stress and anxiety. A float tank (ours are more of a float room) provides a weightless environment that when combined with pitch darkness and silence, creates sensory reduction. With the sensations of the outside world removed, your body and mind are allowed to completely relax and unplug.

A 2001 study in the Journal of the Canadian Pain Society found that spending time in a floatation tank effectively decreased anxiety and depression and increased optimism. In summary, floating takes you to your happy place.

Gari Jo Jordan OWNER

We’ve all been in that predicament where your pet has terrible breath and you can’t decide if you should toss a mint into their mouth or you should just walk away. By the time you can smell their breath, dental disease has already started. In fact, 80% of dogs and 70% of cats will have some form of dental disease by age three. Not only does dental disease cause loneliness but it also causes bad breath, red gums, and damage to internal organs such as the kidneys and heart.

While all dogs are at risk for dental disease, small breeds are even more susceptible. Dogs are supposed to have 42 teeth, while cats have 30. With small breed dogs or brachiocephalics (such as pugs, Boston Terriers; dogs with short noses) 42 teeth do not fit well in the mouth, which leads to

crowding. Cats often suffer from Feline Oral Resorptive Lesions, which often start under the gum line, and can be quite painful. Your pet may show some signs of pain by not wanting to chew on that favorite toy or bone, eating only on one side of the mouth, not wanting their food, cats avoiding their litterbox, or maybe they show no signs at all. Pets are really good at hiding pain.

When you walk into your dentist and they call you back to your room, you meet the hygienist you saw six months ago. You comply to sit in the chair and keep your mouth open, even while attempting to answer random questions. Most pets have never had a dental procedure and have mouths full of calculus buildup and dental disease. At this point, it’s no longer about prevention but more about treatment. When pets come in for their dental procedure, they strangely do not comply with sitting in a chair, leaving their mouths open or answering random questions and thus require full sedation. A dental procedure should include presurgical bloodwork, full sedation including an endotracheal tube, anesthetic monitoring, full mouth radiographs, ultrasonic cleaning, polishing, bonus nail trim and, in many cases, extractions, nerve blocks, sutures, and pain medications. People often get very concerned about putting their pet under anesthesia and—although it does have its potential risks—it is generally pretty safe and the benefits outweigh the small possibility of complications

It should be no surprise that doing a dental procedure for a pet is more costly than us going in for our bi-annual dentist appointment. Of course, veterinarians prefer to prepare their clients for the cost and the outcome but they are often limited on what they can see before sedation and radiographs.

Greta Johnson General Manager

Westphal Intake Coordinator

The best way to avoid dental disease is to practice home care. We all brush our teeth twice a day to prevent that tarter from hardening and turning into calculus. The calculus is the thick buildup that your dentist scratches off when you go in for your cleaning every six months. It only takes 24 hours for your daily tarter to turn into calculus. If you are not brushing your pet’s teeth daily, then they continue to build up calculus (some more than others). The goal is to start small. With your pet safe toothpaste, (there are many flavors to choose from) start by letting your pet lick the toothpaste. Don’t wrestle them to brush their teeth. Take it slow with rewards in between brushing. If you have to fight them to do it, it becomes a negative experience. Slow and steady with lots of patience will teach your pet it is nothing to fear. There are also dental treats and chews that you can ask your veterinarian about using. Of course, annual preventative dental procedures are also a sure way to prevent dental disease and catch things before they become painful.

Don’t wait until you smell dental disease. Help prevent it with daily care and yearly exams. Your pet deserves all the snuggles they can get and you deserve all those snuggles without holding your breath.

NICOLE LUECK, CVT MN Valley Pet Hospital Mankato

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Store Hours: Mon-Wed 9am-6pm Thurs 9am-7pm, Fri 9am-5pm Sat 9am-3pm, Sun Closed

Store Hours: Mon-Wed 9am-6pm, Thurs 9am-7pm, Fri 9am-5pm, Sat 9am-3pm, Sun Closed

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Applies to select flooring materials only. At participating stores only. Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Photos for illustrative purposes only. Not responsible for typographical errors. ©2019 Carpet One Floor & Home®. All Rights Reserved.

Applies to select flooring materials only. At participating stores only. Some restrictions apply. See store for details. Photos for illustrative purposes only. Not responsible for typographical errors. ©2019 Carpet One Floor & Home®. All Rights Reser ved.

Andrews Dr, Mankato,

St Andrews Dr, Mankato, MN 56001

C&S Supply has a great in-stock selection of quality uniforms & footwear. Special orders also available at no extra charge. We also carry medical accessories.

FebruaryMust

HAVES

1. prAna Yoga Pants

These prAna Yoga Pants are a must-have in your athletic wardrobe. Perfect for lounging around or getting into your most difficult yoga pose. The stretch fabric moves with you, and the wide, mid-rise waistband stays securely in place. Experience the ultimate in comfort. Shop Scheels today!

Scheels River Hills Mall 1850 Adams St. Mankato, MN 56001 507.386.7767 scheels.com

2. Paris Dress, Pink Poodle and Jellycat Lipstick

The Paris Dress is comfortable for daily wear to play, twirl, and imagine in. Transition into winter and fall with the addition of leggings and a cardigan! Paris the Poodle and Jellycat Lipstick make the perfect match with this adorable outfit. Shop Bumbelou today.

Bumbelou Mankato 405 N Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 56001 507.594.9072

Bumbelou New Ulm 5 N Minnesota St. New Ulm, MN 56073 507.594.9072 bumbelou.com

3. Scrubs, Medical Supplies & Accessories

Shop our large selection of medical equipment and supplies including stethoscopes, compression stockings, scrubs, scissors and more! C&S Supply has a great in-stock selection of quality uniforms & footwear. Special orders also available at no extra charge. C&S Supply 1951 N. Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 507.387.1171 or 800.879.1938 candssupply.com

4. Love your Body

this Valentine's Day Basin brings the relaxation of a spa to your home. With a refreshing line of sweetly scented bath bombs, scrubs and soaps that will help relieve your daily stresses. Scents range from Serenity or Electric lemonade and even Florida Sunshine, something to fit every mood. You can find Basin products at your Mankato Hy-Vee’s.

Hy-Vee Hilltop 2010 Adams St. Mankato, MN 56001 507.625.9070

Hy-Vee Riverfront 410 S. Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 56001 507.625.1107

5. VI Peel

The VI Peel is a skinresurfacing chemical peel that stimulates collagen and increases cellular turnover to reveal smoother and more radiant skin. Schedule a consultation today. Mankato Med and Skin Clinic

1603 N Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 507.382.8356 mankatomed.com

6. Healthy, Vibrant Rejuvenated Skin

Skin Essentials offers DERMALINFUSION®, an advanced skinresurfacing treatment that simultaneously exfoliates, extracts and infuses skin with condition-specific serums for an all-inclusive treatment in one step to improve skin health, function and appearance with no downtime. Call Skin Essentials and schedule a free consultation to discover if DERMALINFUSION is right for you.

Skin Essentials, Mankato Clinic 1400 Madison Ave. Suite 400A Madison East Center Mankato, MN 56001 507.625.6599 skinessentialsmankato.com

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7. Fréy Gift Card

It’s Valentine's Day, don't wait for the last minute to plan something special. Maybe a spa day with your galentine, a gift card for your partner or just a treat for yourself. The Fréy gift card is the gift they’ll luv! Purchase your gift card online!

Fréy Salon & Spa

429 S Minnesota Ave. St. Peter, MN 56082 507.934.7399 freysalon.com

8. Valentine Sweets

Stop in this Valentines and grab the people you love most a delicious treat from Candy Club. Our fun new Valentines Collection has fun adorable phrases, and tons of flavor! Put a smile on their face and in their tummy. Bella Nova Boutique

521 N. Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 56001 507.779.7444

9. The Finest in Massage Chair Luxury

Experience our all new head-to-toe contact free massage. This 4D massage technology mimics the hands of a professional masseur. Melt away your stress and become completely engulfed in relaxation. Add a massage to any service for only $25! Book your appointment today.

Body Concepts LLC

1615 N. Riverfront Dr. Mankato, MN 56001 507.381.5467

bodyconceptsmankato.com

10. Renewal by Andersen Windows: Professionally Installed by Schmidt Siding & Window

You can be confident in Renewal by Andersen® custom replacement windows, which are backed by one of the strongest transferable warranties in the industry. Soon you’ll be saying, “I love our new windows.” Schmidt Siding & Window expert crews install them all year round. Renewal by Andersen® windows are custom-made to fit within the exact space of an existing window. They are an easy, hassle-free way to enhance your home’s comfort and appearance without the major disruptions that often come with remodeling projects. Schmidt Siding & Window 901 N 5th St. Mankato, MN 56001 507.625.6412 schmidtmankato.com

11. Textured Skirt

With Spring just around the corner, transition garments are essential in your wardrobe. Our textured beige skirt is the perfect staple. Pair now with a sweater and tall socks for warmth, and with a tank and sandals as temperatures rise. Her Happy Place 217 S. Minnesota Ave. St. Peter, MN 507.931.0008 herhappyplaceshop.com

12. Our Traveling Showroom

Blinds & More travels to your home or office with custom samples. We offer window coverings and interior design services. Our team will travel within a 60-mile radius of Mankato. Schedule your free consultation today! Blinds & More Window Coverings & Decor 507.380.5019 blindsandmore.org

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The American Heart Month kicks off with Go Red for Women on the first Friday of February. You may notice news anchors, coworkers, doctors and nurses wearing red on February 5. We are raising awareness about cardiovascular disease among women.

Here’s why: Cardiovascular disease is the number 1 killer of women, causing 1 in 3 deaths each year. You have the power to change that. Nearly 80 percent of cardiac events can be prevented says the American Heart Association. Here’s how.

First: Cardiovascular disease is all types of diseases that affect the heart or blood vessels including coronary heart disease (clogged arteries), which can cause heart attacks, stroke and heart failure. Coronary heart disease occurs

when plaque, a combination of fat, cholesterol, calcium and other substances in the blood, build up in the arteries. The plaque reduces the amount of oxygen-rich blood getting to your heart and brain which can lead to blood clots, heart attacks and stroke.

Here’s how you can prevent cardiovascular disease.

Healthy eating

Shoot for a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, healthy fats and whole grains which can fight high cholesterol, high blood pressure and heart disease.

• Set small nutritional goals. Aim for 5 different fruits and vegetables a day. Meet your goal by adding a fruit or veggie to every meal. When you achieve that, add fruits and vegetables to your snacks.

• Eat fish, such as salmon, once a week. Lean protein such as chicken and turkey are good for the other days.

• Make Meatless Monday part of your routine and try quick vegetarian recipes such as bean burritos, black bean soup, Tuscan white bean pasta.

• Choose whole grains such as whole wheat bread, brown rice, quinoa and oatmeal.

• Limit processed meats such as bacon, pepperoni, cold cuts, hot dogs and chicken nuggets.

Physical activity

Just 30 minutes of physical activity a day can reduce coronary heart disease in women by 30-40 percent. Exercise can also help improve circulation, maintain your weight, improve cholesterol levels, prevent and manage high blood pressure. Plus exercise helps prevent bone loss and boosts energy levels – a win-win for women!

The easiest way to begin exercising is to start a walking program. It’s free and has the lowest dropout rate of any type of exercise! According to the American Heart Association, for every hour of walking, life expectancy may increase by two hours.

Be tobacco-free

Smoking can damage blood vessels and make the blood sticky and prone to clotting, decrease good cholesterol and rob your heart, brain and arteries of oxygen. Nicotine also raises your heart rate and blood pressure.

When you stop smoking, your risk for heart disease and stroke can be cut in half just one year later and continues to decline. For free resources to stop smoking, visit www.quitpartnermn.com.

Wearing red is only the beginning. Join the Go Red for Women Sisterhood and take charge of your own heart health. Join today at www.goredforwomen.org.

NICOLE FISCHBACH, APRN, CNP, FNP MANKATO CLINIC FAMILY MEDICINE