FEATU R E
when memories fade: a s t o ry o f a dau g hte r’s l ove fo r her mothe r
T H E S TO R Y I S N ’ T P R E T T Y B U T, L I K E M O S T I N S P I R AT I O N A L TA L E S ,
beauty is woven through the pain and ends with renewed, bittersweet purpose – a mother and her daughter, the strong relationship between them, and how the rapid onset of dementia has sparked a passion to help others. We begin with Susan Spencer – teacher, entrepreneur, attorney, single mother to her daughter, and a real trailblazer. In 1984, she was the first and only female vice president, legal counsel, and team general manager in NFL history and still holds that distinction. Susan was the daughter of Leonard Tose, owner of the NFL’s Philadelphia Eagles, but who would most likely rather be remembered as the founder of Ronald McDonald House, what he considered to be the crown jewel of his accomplishments. To listen to Susan’s daughter, Marnie Schneider of Mooresville, Susan was the kind of mother any girl would wish to have. “She’s always been my best friend, my biggest cheerleader, and strongest advocate,” describes Marnie, with tears in her voice. Susan is also a beloved grandmother to Marnie’s three children: Johnathan, Goldie, and Leonardo.
In 2018, Susan was diagnosed with Frontal Lobe Dementia (FTD). “It’s so hard to even think about this situation and how quickly it escalated,” Marnie shares. It has been a dark and scary illness progression. Degenerative neurological diseases like dementia often create chaos in families – from making tough decisions on caregiving to finances and living situations – so Marnie is thankful to be the one responsible for her mother’s care. “I’m a participant in her daily life,” says Marnie. After first noticing slight changes in August of 2016 when her mother contracted shingles, and two years later when her mother had increased instances of confusion and agitation, Marnie stepped in as full-time caregiver. Following a second opinion at Duke, Marnie moved Susan from California to North Carolina and then into her own home at the end of 2019. Although Susan is now in the final stage of disease progression, and Marnie acknowledges that none of this work will help her mother, she remains passionate about making a difference in the lives of families facing this disease. “It would be reckless for me not to be involved,” she asserts. “I know what this disease does, and I want to find ways to help others, whether it be to support caregivers or find ways to increase intense interventions.”
“We look forward to honoring Marnie [Schneider] with the 2020 Award of Excellence at this year’s Memory Gala. She is a tremendous caregiver for her mother and goes above and beyond in raising awareness about Alzheimer’s disease. We are fortunate to have her in our community and greatly appreciate Marnie for actively lending her voice, energy and spirit to the fight to end Alzheimer’s.” - KATHERINE LAMBERT, CEO, Alzheimer's Association Western Carolina Chapter
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L A K E NORMAN
Marnie works closely with the Alzheimer’s Association and is the recipient of the 2020 Award of Excellence, to be presented at the 2020 Memory Gala in Charlotte on August 29. Katherine Lambert, CEO of the Alzheimer’s Association Western Carolina Chapter states, “Alzheimer’s forces us to appreciate the small moments – the smiles, the laughs, the love.” Marnie and her children do just that. They live by a mantra her mother always asked of the Eagles players: “If you aren’t adding value, why show up?” Marnie continues to find ways to add value to their lives, as well as the lives of others who are going through the pain of watching this disease eat away at loved ones. As we celebrate Mother’s Day this month, we honor the relationship between mother and child, as well as the women who fill the special role of mother. Marnie encourages others to take the time to appreciate the small moments, honor the memories, create new ones, and celebrate the love for the women who brought us here. w
WRITER MICHELLE LOVE