Keys Woman Spring/Summer 2023

Each of the women of Ocean Sotheby's International Realty has a unique story. We celebrate the smart, hardworking, and selfless women of our company. We are united not just by the beautiful real estate we sell; but also by our relationships.

We believe that when women support each other incredible things happen

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Ally Kelley Global Real Estate Advisor 727.459.0493 akelley@oceansir.com

WELCOME TO OUR LATEST EDITION

“Time is a great healer but a poor beautician.” — Lucille

S. Harper

I thank you, sincerely, for spending a few moments among these pages and for trusting us with your most precious, nonrenewable resource — time.

In this issue, we, the women of the Keys Weekly, who range in age from 22 to 67, explore the pitfalls and positives of time as it pursues us through youth, adulthood, middle age and our golden years.

No one has managed to outrun time, despite centuries of attempts. Ponce de Leon sought the Fountain of Youth. Indiana Jones nearly died for the Ark of the Covenant. And Hollywood celebs are inflating their lips and freezing their faces in a futile attempt to stop the aging process.

But we at the Keys Weekly refuse to try to turn back time, and instead embrace the insights and experience it offers.

In the last issue, we highlighted three impressive women younger than 30. In these pages, we embrace the theme of “Midlife Reimagined,” and we glean important life lessons from local ladies in their 50s, 60s and 70s.

Also in this issue, Erin Stover Sickmen explores the emerging understanding of menopause, while also tackling the truth about travel indulgences as a mature adult.

Charlotte Twine explores the physical and mental benefits of accepting the inevitabilities of aging, while Kirby Myers revisits recurring fashion trends.

Amy Patton contemplates the confidence required to dine alone in today’s day, at any age. Master sommelier and Keys Weekly columnist Liz Schweitzer leads us into the world of wine, while Annie Briening introduces the zesty world of Tajin, a Mexican spice blend that adds perfect zest to any recipe. Stephanie Mitchell, this magazine’s creative director, also compiled a temptingly timeless playlist for this issue.

Thank you, again, for spending your precious time with this issue of Keys Woman.

— Mandy Miles

“Time is an equal opportunity employer. Each human being has exactly the same number of hours and minutes every day. Rich people can’t buy more hours. Scientists can’t invent new minutes. And you can’t save time to spend it on another day. Even so, time is amazingly fair and forgiving. No matter how much time you’ve wasted in the past, you still have an entire tomorrow.” —

Denis Waitley

“Every woman's success should be an inspiration to another. We're strongest when we cheer each other on.”

— Serena Williams

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Publisher Jason Koler jason@keysweekly.com

Managing Partner

Britt Myers britt@keysweekly.com

Creative Director

Stephanie Mitchell stephanie@keysweekly.com

Art/Design

Irene de Bruijn irene@keysweekly.com

Editors

Mandy Miles mandy@keysweekly.com

Jim McCarthy jim@keysweekly.com

Alex Rickert alex@keysweekly.com

Copy editor Mike Howie mike@keysweekly.com

Director of Sales

Manuela Carrillo Mobley manuela@keysweekly.com

Account Executives

Stephanie Mitchell stephanie@keysweekly.com

Patti Childress patti@keysweekly.com

Jill Miranda Baker jill@keysweekly.com

Production Manager

Anneke Patterson anneke@keysweekly.com

Art/Design

Javier Reyes javier@keysweekly.com

Web Master

Travis Cready travis@keysweekly.com

Executive Administrator

Char Hruska char@keysweekly.com

Contributors

Annie Briening, Kellie Butler

Farrell, Doug Finger, Mark Hedden, Kirby Myers, Chris McNulty, Karen Newfield, Amy Patton, Elizabeth Schweitzer, Erin Stover Sickmen, Charlotte Twine

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BY STEPHANIE MITCHELL

As I settled in to create the playlist for our first Keys Woman of 2023, I thought about all the women who’ve come before us – the trailblazers, the advocates, the champions – and I can’t help but wonder how they’d view our world as a whole today.

Would they be proud? Or disappointed that all the things they fought so hard to gain for future generations of women have seemingly gone up in a cloud of smoke? I think first of RBG, followed quickly by Betty White – what sage words would they offer at this juncture? If I had to guess, they’d tell us to keep fighting the good fight.

So in this edition we are highlighting the beauty of aging and how we are in the driver’s seat of our own life experience.

For this playlist, we decided to take a trip down memory lane and revisit some of our favorite, classic jams by female artists.

It’s always fun getting the entire office involved in the playlist-making process and this is truly a time when more opinions make things better. Everyone’s hollering out who has to make the cut, while different YouTube and Spotify tunes come from every desk. And so the process goes until we have what we consider a well-rounded list.

So as you read through these pages, I hope you embrace the nostalgia of familiar voices singing songs of soul, hope, empowerment and memories of a time gone by.

Aging is inevitable, but the journey that gets us there is 100% up to us. May we make the women who fought for all our rights proud, and work every day to show them their work and sacrifices weren’t in vain.

Happy listening.

Scan here for Keys Women playlist

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FOR WOMEN, MENOPAUSE IS A SORT OF ROTTEN REWARD GIVEN TO THOSE LUCKY ENOUGH TO DODGE TRAGEDY AND RECEIVE THE PRIVILEGE OF GROWING OLD.

ANYONE WHO HAS EXPERIENCED IT UNDERSTANDS THE IMPACT, AND MOST WOMEN HAVE SOME IDEA OF WHAT TO EXPECT. REAL TALK – HOT FLASHES ARE NO FUN, INSOMNIA CAN WRECK YOUR DAY AND A DECREASED SEX DRIVE, WELL, YOU GET THE IDEA.

BUT TIMES ARE CHANGING BOTH IN THE WAY WE MANAGE SYMPTOMS AND, PERHAPS MORE IMPORTANTLY, IN HOW WE VIEW THIS SEGMENT OF A WOMAN’S EXPERIENCE.

available every 10 minutes

Mood swings

REIMAGINING MENOPAUSE FORGET AGING GRACEFULLY; LET’S AGE OPENLY

First, a primer for younger women, all men (because, guess what, this affects you too, as you support partners, parents and friends), or anyone who has yet to find the information they need. Women will typically experience three stages of menopause. Perimenopause is the lead-up that generally starts in a woman’s 40s, though it can be earlier or later depending on health histories, hormonal balances and the thousand tiny factors that make us each a unique human. Perimenopause brings on the first hint of symptoms. Women in this stage still ovulate and have periods, but may experience irregularities.

After a few years, sometimes a solid decade, women enter menopause. This stage sees the cessation of ovulation and menstruation. Symptoms intensify. We get to add fun bonus items, like thinning hair and urinary incontinence, to our journey. But, there’s light at the end of that tunnel.

After a full year with no menstruation, a woman is considered to be in the post-menopausal stage. Symptoms relax. We get to take a breath and at least enjoy the fact that we’re finally done with pads, tampons, cups and other instrumentations of monthly torture. This stage also requires special attention, though, as the decrease in estrogen can exacerbate osteoporosis and heart disease.

If your takeaway at this stage is that women never get a break, you’re right. We’ve literally been telling you this for years. Thankfully the last few years have seen a shift in reactivity. For the past … well … forever, women have been left to muddle through. In fact, until the last midcentury mark, our collective approach to women’s health was, “Buck up, buttercup.”

The first wave of feminism caused some ripples in advocacy, but the result mostly leaned toward medications and heavy hormonal treatments. Mask everything so you can “buck up, buttercup.” Now, finally, health care seems to be noticing that more than half the population deserves special holistic care. Hormone replacement therapy (HRT) remains the top treatment for symptoms, but many doctors and hospitals are investigating alternatives for women who simply don’t want, or don’t respond to, HRT. Non-western supplements are gaining popularity, as is a more in-depth focus on physical activity, nutrition and other components of a healthy lifestyle.

As our attitudes toward treatment shift, so does our cultural recognition of something that is just so unbelievably normal. Perhaps even more important than the development of alternative treatments is the growing understanding of the social and emotional elements of all three stages of menopause.

At its core, menopause is a cultural construct. New studies quantify the experience through lenses of biological, psychological, environmental and sociocultural. To which women everywhere are uttering a collective “Amen!” Because women know this life stage transcends the very real, and often miserable, physical symptoms. In addition to navigating the physicality of menopause, women are also forced to contend with an unfair view on female aging that focuses on menopause as a punctuation mark. Aging in men is viewed as a linear experience – something progressive and subtle. Women are seen in more stark terms of before and after. Menopause has become the marker wherein a woman loses her vitality, youth and sexuality. One day

she’s young; 12 months later, she’s old. It’s a very unforgiving bell curve.

It comes as no surprise then that women, bolstered by increased visibility, are raising their middle fingers in a salute to the industries informing them of their age. Beauty industries have made empires preying on women’s insecurities, as women over 50 spend over $22 billion annually in the U.S. alone, accounting for more than half the market. But audience opinion is shifting, forcing these industries to adapt.

In 2017, Allure magazine banned the term “anti-aging” from its publications, with then-editor Michelle Lee explaining, “We were subtly reinforcing the message that aging is a condition we need to battle. Changing the way we think about aging starts with changing the way we talk about aging.” The AARP drafted a letter of solidarity. Women like Jane Fonda, Helen Mirren and Angela Bassett stepped into roles as models and spokeswomen. The beauty industry gulped.

This long-overdue shift toward increased inclusivity is having a positive effect. We can’t change efforts and outcomes without changing outlooks. We can’t progress our development of treatments without creating a structure of understanding.

Each progressive generation is more vocal, more open. We’re talking about our experiences. Because, like it or not, more than half of us will experience this shift in our lives. It’s about time the other half of society noticed and offered to assist.

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FIERCE & FEMININE

KICKASS WOMEN — INCLUDING AN INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER/MODEL, AN ARTIST, AN ACTIVIST AND A COUNTY COMMISSIONER (OR TWO) — SCHOOL

THIS WRITER IN HOW TO BE A STRONG FEMALE IN OUR 40S, 50S, 60S AND BEYOND

Two weeks ago, I started unpacking boxes in my new, tiny apartment. Age 52 and freshly divorced, I had just moved into my first home as a single woman in many years. I stepped over my little Pomeranians while I organized the clutter. As I placed a makeup mirror on a shelf, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My face had more wrinkles than before.

“Is this it?” I thought. “Is this my slow decline into a retirement home, with my dogs, a recliner and the Home Shopping Network my only companions?”

Ping! My phone sent me an email alert: I had received a request to write an article for Keys Woman magazine. Would I like to take on the subject of women living amazing lives in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond?

Very quickly, I sent my reply: “Absolutely. When do we begin?”

Thus began my quest to interview the badass women in my life — during a time in which I truly needed it — with the hope to inspire our Keys Woman readers. I asked all of my subjects the same questions: How can we live with joy and passion as we get older? How can we press “restart” without being depressed as the years march by, with images of youthful beauty constantly bombarding us, from Netflix to Instagram?

Happily, after talking to two Monroe County commissioners, an activist, an artist, and yes, even an Instagram influencer/model, I got a much-needed injection of power. Their key tips? Try to do something scary at least once a day, stick to what gives you joy, enjoy your wisdom, focus on the things that truly matter and keep close to the women who empower you. I am here for it.

Instagram influencer Alison Monteith, age 65, rocks her style every day in posts @thin_latin_moose.

THE MODEL CAMP/ Contributed

“I wasted the entire 39th year of my life freaking out about turning 40. Seriously!” exclaimed Monroe County Commissioner Michelle Lincoln. “It is a number. What is more important is your attitude. … I turned 60 a year ago, and I truly believe as a late bloomer that I am just now finding my stride.”

“I don’t believe in being scared to age,” said artist, retired teacher and Upper Keys resident Carmen Kelley. “I remember my grandmother in her 60s putting on her makeup, combing her hair, smelling her perfume and enjoying her laughter.”

Unfortunately, at its worst, society can see women in their 40-plus years as invisible or even embarrassing. Sixtyfive-year-old Alison Monteith basically told me, “screw that.”

“I’m shameless now,” she said.

The Birmingham, England-based model and Instagram influencer has 15,000 followers and counting. Monteith wears red lipstick and rocks her silver hair in a short Tilda Swinton-inspired style with shaved sides, and every day, she posts her outfits to her account @thin_latin_moose with such hashtags as #silverismysuperpower.

“Strangely, since growing my hair out (in silver), I’ve stopped being invisible,” she said. “It’s one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done.”

All the women I interviewed agreed: A great mental attitude is everything.

“I had a life-altering experience when I was 47 and almost lost my life,” said Lincoln. “Ever since, I cherish every birthday. … I really started working on being the best version of me in all aspects of my life. Physically, spiritually, career-wise and for my community. By my late 50s, I honed in on an attitude where I can be fierce and feminine. I am so excited to see what is next for me. I am at a point in my life where I am confident in my own skin, and I don’t feel it necessary to compare myself to others.”

Lincoln’s colleague, Holly Raschein, age 42, is a former Florida state representative, a current Monroe County commissioner and an all-around mover and shaker.

“I now feel a distinct self-confidence in myself, a feeling that I couldn’t quite grasp in my younger years,” she said. “The life experiences that have come my way and the hurdles I’ve overcome have provided me with a very unique angle on life as a woman. As a younger person, I was bright-eyed and bushytailed all right, but I didn’t have the resources that I have now to draw on.”

Raschein also emphasized the importance of friendships in boosting self-esteem.

“Life gets real when you enter your 30s, and it goes up from there,” she said. “You get married, you have a baby, you run for office, you know, small stuff. It’s at this point that drawing on your friendships starts to mean the most. The OGs really count, and quality versus quantity really means something.”

Seventy-one-year-old activist Denise Downing said female friendships, and human connection in general, are essential for a life well-lived. She is the co-founder of Tavernier’s JOY Center, a nonprofit with engaging and vibrant activities for seniors.

At age 42, Monroe County Commissioner Holly Raschein feels more confident than ever.

Artist Carmen Kelley is not afraid to age and is known for her brightly colored jewelry and lipstick.

“I’m shameless now.”

— Alison Monteith

DOUG FINGER /Keys Weekly

“It’s important to empower yourself to strengthen friendships or find ways to meet new people and learn and do challenging things,” she said.

Downing described how a recently widowed friend became a volunteer at JOY in order to stay engaged and keep her attitude positive. And yet another of her friends spent her 50s and beyond skydiving and learning to become a pilot.

Monteith is a former commercial interior designer and never expected to be a model. Like many during COVID, she and her husband found themselves at a crossroads without income coming in. She found herself depressed, and with her husband’s help decided to shake herself out of it. After being

scouted on the street by a modeling agent — and despite always shyly avoiding cameras before — she decided to give it a go and start an Instagram account.

“I’m such an advocate of ‘Do something that frightens you every day,’” said Monteith. “What is so good about a comfort zone? It’s so stodgy and sterile. … You have one life — better damn well do it.”

Constantly pursuing activities that she is passionate about is essential for artist Kelley.

“I am always looking for exposure and new directions as an artist,” she told me. “How do I reach a clientele through my art? How do I make someone love it?”

Her Cuban roots keep her constantly motivated.

“I have been in the U.S. for 60-plus years,” she said. “I left a Communist country as a small child with my parents who had an M.D. and a Ph.D., to seek freedom and start a new life. There has been one thing that has stayed consistent: The ‘balseros,’ or rafters, crossing the Florida Straits 90 miles north to seek freedom. … I am proud of who I am and felt the need to paint their story.``

Activist Downing feels that as we get older we learn to focus on what’s truly important — and it’s not the latest Gucci handbag or a smooth forehead.

“When I attended my 10th high school reunion, it was, ‘Look at me! My car! My job!’” she recalled. “But by the 20th reunion, we had lost a parent, a spouse, perhaps dealt with cancer. Humbling things. We had a mellowing and a real appreciation for the commonality of life experiences.”

And most of all, said Lincoln, we need to cherish those who inspired us, then spread their message to women of all ages.

“So, by the time this article is in print my mom will have passed away,” Lincoln said. “I am sitting with her right now in a hospice unit as she is transitioning from this life. Gloria was strong-willed, stubborn, ethical and a firm supporter of women and women’s rights. She raised her daughters and empowered us to graduate from college and go for whatever career we wanted.”

And with that, I have my marching orders. I’m going to call friends, ignore negative messages — and take that salsa-dancing class I’ve been too scared to take. Sisters, we can do this.

Monroe County Commissioner Michelle Lincoln said, ‘I turned 60 a year ago, and I truly believe as a late bloomer that I am just now finding my stride.’

Activist Denise Downing said it’s essential to always find ways to meet new people and challenge ourselves.

“Cherish those who inspired us.”

— Michelle Lincoln

BY CHRIS McNULTY

The society we live in constantly pushes us to be productive, and it can be easy to internalize our personal value as determined by our social output. However, using an astrological lens can help us to see that we are innately valuable because we were born into a universe that simply couldn’t go on without us. Taking care of ourselves is a way to honor our unique contribution to the world regardless of our economic or social productivity. Here are some self-care tips for each of the Zodiac signs to help you support your own well-being:

ARIES

Get some sleep! Aries is the sign of relentless energetic output, and you fiery Rams seem to have an infinitely burning engine to attack the tasks of the day. However, it is so important to remember that the body and mind need sleep to regenerate. Don’t forget to hang up your warrior’s helmet and get the respite you need to fight tomorrow.

TAURUS

Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and love. It is easy for you Bulls to find rest and luxuriate in fine foods and artistic joys, which plays into the stereotype of being lazy. Get up and stretch — whether it’s yoga, pilates, or simply reaching for the sky, your body needs movement to stay limber and healthy.

GEMINI

Gemini has a mind that is constantly thinking. While it’s natural for ideas to be streaming through the Gemini psyche, it can lead to difficulties with attention and order. Journaling can help you mental gymnasts structure your ideas so they aren’t so spaghettified.

CANCER

Take yourself out on a solo date. As the sign of the moon, you are always in caregiver mode for the people in your life because your empathy for others is so genuine. Let others nurture you for once — out for a nice meal, see a good show, get a massage. Everyone else can take care of themselves for an evening.

LEO

As the sign of the sun, Leos need to be seen and affirmed for your creative output. Treat yourself to a makeover so you can see yourself in a different light and feel fresh when you step back into the spotlight. Rejuvenated skin and a new make-up regimen can empower your entertaining persona.

VIRGO

Virgos are the organized servants of the Zodiac, keeping an eye on helping others while making sure no box goes unchecked. Rummage through your closet! Throw your clothes around, set things aside to donate and rearrange everything. Remind yourself that a little mess is okay and find the joy in putting things back where they belong.

WHEEL WELLNESS

SELF-CARE THROUGH THE ZODIAC

WHEEL OF WELLNESS

SELF-CARE THROUGH ZODIAC

LIBRA

Libras are social architects, keeping your antennae tuned to the energetics in social spaces and helping to maintain the balance. However, remember that your own mental health is important. Step away from the social gatherings and engage in talk therapy, whether with a professional or a dear friend. Your inner dynamics are just as important as the social dynamics.

SCORPIO

You feel incredibly deeply and can get obsessively focused on the truth hidden behind the surfaces of the world around you. Meditation can help you stay centered and can let universal truths come to you rather than compulsively seeking them out. Dive into your depths in stillness so you can face life’s mysteries with emotional fortitude.

SAGITTARIUS

A fire sign ruled by Jupiter, the planet of expansion and joy, Sagittarians are always seeking adventure beyond the horizon. The constant, “What’s next?” can make it difficult to be present where you are. Take a staycation and explore the world in your hometown. Visit a museum you haven’t been to, walk down an alley you usually ignore and remind yourself that small discoveries are just as enlightening as faraway lands.

CAPRICORN

Success is important for all of us, but striving for practical success is Capricorn’s MO. You work hard and need to see the fruits of your labor. Take some time to practice gratitude and appreciate what you have already achieved and the people who support you. Rest in your accomplishments for a time; the mountain you are climbing isn’t going anywhere.

AQUARIUS

As revolutionaries and change-makers, Aquarians push us all forward through your humanitarian views and avant-garde style. Read a book or watch a documentary on social movements of the past, both to rest from your high-level thinking and to remind yourself that you are part of a vast history of progress. You’re not alone in the struggle.

PISCES

Pisces folks are the dreamers and visionaries of the Zodiac, and as a water sign you can feel the collective emotions on a visceral level. Take some time alone to paint or draw to bring your dreaming into manifest form. Time alone allows you to rebuild your empathic boundaries and creating allows you to see your visions in front of you.

GOES BACK TO

Fashion faux pas are a thing of the past.

For centuries, “rules“ have been created to control women, including the way we dress. And when it comes to expressing ourselves through fashion, no one should have to color inside the lines. The time has come for women to liberate their closets and break free of dressing by the book.

How often have we been told, “You can’t mix prints.” “Pink and red don’t go together,” “No navy and black.” “You should wear only gold or only silver jewelry.”

The list goes on and on. Of course, there is one golden rule that should always be taken into account. And that is not properly gauging the length of your torso against the available space in your romper — creating the perfect recipe for the dreaded camel toe.

Ladies, always check the mirror before leaving the house in any sort of onesie or legging.

Fashion is FUN. And nowadays, not only are we seeing so many mixtures of styles, but we’re also seeing old trends making their way back and looking oh so cute again. Hi, ’70s oversized sunnies, rainbow-colored prints and platform heels. Hey there, ’80s-style shoulder pads and puff sleeves. Hello again, ’90s high-waisted jeans, crop tops and scrunchies.

Funky is in. And you make the rules.

Keys style in particular is generally pretty laid back. Island life lends itself to easy and comfy vibes. One of my favorite things about living here is that there has also always been an anything-goes mentality. We certainly have an eclectic mix of people and plenty of unique flair among our One Human Family.

With the Florida Keys being a mecca for helpful nonprofit organizations, there’s a near-constant calendar of fundraisers and charity events whose invitations call for either a themed ensemble or urge you to gussy up for the evening. If you’re someone who is generally safe and subdued with your style, but secretly dreams of glitz and glamor, attending a gala or event is the perfect way to baby-step out of your comfort zone and into something fancy and fun.

While events are a great way to take things up a notch, you don’t need an invite with a dress code to grant yourself permission to play with your style. I see more and more women come into my shop expressing a desire to try things they normally never would.

There’s something extremely empowering about dressing for yourself, and only for yourself. And the beauty of our anything-goes island is that you can be the most dressed

THE

up or dressed down person in the room, regardless of the occasion, and you’ll be taken just as you are.

So be who you are. And if that little girl inside of you is still dying to wear pretty frilly dresses, but always worried you’d look silly, this is your sign to feel the thrill of the frill.

Or maybe you’ve been living in athleisure because it’s been your easy routine, though some part of you is desperate for a pair of studded boots and a glitter-covered mini skirt. The cool thing about fashion is that you don’t need to fit in one box, and you most certainly don’t need to stay In the box you’re currently in.

Dress for yourself. And get rid of this age-old notion that even though you love it you shouldn’t buy it because you “have nowhere to wear it.”

Life is too short to wear boring clothes. Fashion should feel good. And dressing for yourself is empowering. And if you feel good in the dress, maybe you should just throw it on and stroll through the produce aisle at Publix. I mean, why the hell not?

In the words of Miuccia Prada, “What you wear is how you present yourself to the world — fashion is an instant language.”

THE TIME OF MY LIFE IS NOW

THOSE WERE THE DAYS — OR WERE THEY? WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE PRESENT?

A framed photograph hangs at the bottom of the stairs at my parents’ house.

I’m standing with my mom on the beach, sporting a regrettably bad haircut — my first and last experiment with short hair — but a killer, 19-year-old body and a favorite orange bikini that I wore in the waves until it faded to gray.

The picture was taken around 1995, the summer home after my first year of college.

I was tan, fit and having the time of my life, both at school in North Carolina and then at home, “down the Shore” for the summer.

I’ve bounced past that photo countless times on my way up and down those steps, deftly avoiding the mid-section of the three that squeaked when I was a tad late for curfew. But when I pause to actually look at that shot, or any other flattering photograph of a younger me, certain thoughts creep into my consciousness. They can be prompted by Facebook memories, wedding pictures or the decades of framed photo collages lining my parents’ hallway.

“Damn, I looked good. I LOVED that orange bathing suit. Where did the time go? Where did THAT girl go? What I wouldn’t give to be 19 or 21 again.”

But with age comes insight, hopefully. And recently, I’ve been interrupting myself during those negative internal dialogues.

“Yes, I looked great in my 20s and 30s. Most of us did. And yes, I could do way more to monitor my diet and exercise. But those are just pictures, two-dimensional snapshots of a single moment.”

Thank God, I’m smarter now. I’m more complete, better informed, more mature and insightful.

In a word – or a few – I’m older, wiser and more experienced. Besides, I’ve had a hell of a good time in the years between 19 and 46. (I’ll be 47 on May 15 and still have a 7-year-old’s appreciation for presents.)

But, my goodness. I knew nothing back then. I hadn’t lived. I hadn’t truly loved. And I hadn’t experienced anything, anyone or anyplace that was different from what I’d always known.

In that beach photo, I hadn’t met most of the people who would have the biggest impact on my life.

The girl in that picture hadn’t lived in Key West, where I met my best friend of 18 years, the “man of honor” at my wedding. I hadn’t even met the man I would marry. Amd I hadn’t lost that best friend six years after my wedding.

Looking back, that photo of me in the orange bikini wasn’t the real me. It’s not the full me, the me I was meant to be.

It’s easy to lament the loss of our youth, the loss of that girl in the orange bikini. Hell, people have been battling time since time began.

It’s human nature to compare our current selves to our past selves. But no one has won the battle against time. And no one ever will. So we may as well appreciate those orange-bikini photos when we see them, recall the time they represent, but continue to live the lives we’ve grown into since then — the three-dimensional lives that have made us the people we’re supposed to be today.

“Define success in your own

own rules, and build a life you’re proud

live.”

— Anne Sweeney, Co-Chair of Disney Media Networks

Never too late for love

MIDLIFE ROMANCE READS THAT WILL SWEEP YOU OFF YOUR FEET

GRAY HAIR DON’T CARE

By Karen Booth

Lela Bennett never imagined she would see Donovan again. After graduation, her hunky college best friend got married and their incredible connection disappeared overnight. Now 47, Lela is a recently divorced successful makeup artist in New York. Of all the scenarios in the world, she never expected to bump into Donovan on a crowded city street and get the redo she fantasized about for years. Unfortunately, Lela wakes to an empty bed and becomes doubly determined to start this next chapter on her own terms. She develops a cosmetics line and lets her hair return to its natural stunning silver, embracing age and independence. Three years later her thriving business has been acquired by a huge conglomerate and marketing guru Donovan James is back in her life. Despite their intentions to keep their relationship strictly business, the sparks continue to fly. Finding love again can be a challenge when you carry the past on your shoulders. Steamy romance of self-discovery where age is definitely just a number.

THE SECOND SEASON

By Emily Adrian

Back in the day, Ruth Devon was a superstar on the Georgetown basketball team. When she injured her knee, she thought: game over. Instead, Ruth marries her coach, Lester, and begins a career as a sideline sports reporter on radio and TV. With her athletic build, pretty blonde hair and encyclopedic knowledge, Ruth becomes a household name. Twenty years later she is divorced, her teenage daughter has begun a suspicious modeling career and her handsome younger boyfriend has proposed marriage. Ruth is only sure of one thing: Lester is retiring from the announcer’s booth and she wants his seat. She can easily imagine two Ruths – one driving an SUV filled with kids and the other as the first woman announcer on a major network. Ruth is torn between the two loves of her life: family and basketball. It is unfathomable to her that a woman cannot have it all. As fastpaced as the NBA finals, this play-by-play second-season romance is a slam dunk.

FLIRTING WITH THE BEAST

By Jane Porter

It’s been five years and Andi McDermott is still adjusting to being a widow. Without children of her own, her entire adult life was spent taking care of Kevin, their home and social calendar. She now feels completely lost. Andi decides spending Christmas alone would be more tolerable at their cabin in Lake Arrowhead, a gorgeous mountain community in northern California. Her only distraction is Wolf Enders, a longtime neighbor she and her husband battled for years. A big, brawny military vet with rambunctious dogs and a loud motorcycle, this mystery man always left Andi intimated and curious. Their paths cross and this kissable hunk is surprisingly more helpful than expected. Stuck in a freezing snowstorm, his brutish manner is actually kind of hot. Although Andi becomes more nervous than she cares to admit, she makes an effort to be a friendly neighbor. Sexy romance with plenty of spice – Andi must decide if she can risk her well-ordered life to tame this wild creature.

MS. DEMEANOR

By Elinor Lipman

While having drinks on an apartment building’s rooftop, two consenting adults share some moonlight hanky panky. The next thing Jane knows the police are knocking at her door. A busybody from a nearby building was traumatized by their public display of affection. The ridiculous escapade lands Jane in court, where the judge is not laughing. Jane, a 39-year-old attorney, is fired from her prestigious law firm, her license is suspended and she receives 6 months confinement. Her twin sister, a successful dermatologist, tries to keep her busy during this strange imprisonment and encourages her to befriend a fellow felon in the building. An avid cook, Jane is hired to make meals for this attractive neighbor who orders fast food daily. When more than just the meals are sizzling, Jane wonders if there is a bright side to this absurd captivity. Having spent her younger days focused solely on her career, she now has plenty of time to sow her older oats. Who knew house arrest could be such fun?

WOMEN YOU’LL WANT TO KNOW

AN ARTIST, A BARTENDER AND A NAVY COMMANDER. ALL WOMEN. ALL OVER THE AGE OF 50. ALL KICKING ASS IN THE FLORIDA KEYS. ONE OVERCAME UNIMAGINABLE HARDSHIP TO LEAD OTHERS. ONE ARRIVED BRAVELY IN THE KEYS, ALONE, WITH $10 TO HER NAME AND NO JOB. AND ONE FINDS AND SPREADS JOY THROUGH ART, WHILE FOREVER GRIEVING THE LOSS OF A CHILD. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES.

VALERIE LITTLEFIELD IS A HUGE FORCE IN KEY WEST

PROOF OF HUMAN RESILIENCE

With every sentence Valerie Littlefield uttered, my jaw dropped further and my eyes popped wider. Her calm tone and classy demeanor belied the contents of her conversation as she recalled a childhood of unimaginable hardship, but without seeking sympathy or showing a trace of self pity.

“My father was a pimp and a drug dealer. I used to think I had all these aunties coming to the house, but really, they were just hos bringing my mom money,” said Littlefield, who grew up — more quickly than any kid should — in Louisiana and Texas. “Then, when I was 5, my mom had left my dad, who had become a heroin addict, and my stepdad was a reign of terror who was arrested for being a pedophile when I was 13. I remember my mom taking the typewriter, sewing machine and TV to the pawn shop to bail him out of jail. Then she told my sister and I that we needed to find someplace else to live because there wouldn’t be any girls living in the house with them.”

Valerie lived in a refrigerator box under a bridge, then entered the foster care system. “I went to school so I could eat,” she said.

It’s also where two people gave the often-suicidal teen a reason to live. A kindly lunch lady gave her extra servings, and a compassionate janitor let her into the school building early in the morning.

“I’d steal soap from the school and clean up in the bathroom,” she said. “The lunch lady would smile at me with a motherly smile. You never know how the little things you do for someone will change their life.

“As humans we are very resilient,” she said. “I was a throwaway baby and became a commander in the Navy. Every place I was stationed, I would find a place to volunteer, often in the mental health field. I also became a foster parent.”

While in the military, Valerie earned a bachelor’s, then a master’s degree in nursing, and then an executive MBA.

Her last duty station before retiring was in Key West, where she headed up the Naval Branch Health Clinic on South Roosevelt Boulevard. But never one to slow down, she now serves as volunteer post commander for the VFW and American Legion Post 168 on Emma Street.

What piece of advice do you wish you could give your younger self? It is not about if he loves you, it is about whether he loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

What is your fondest memory? When my mother left her abusive husband (my stepfather). I remember feeling like I could breathe for the first time in my life (at that time). It was one month of heavenly bliss. Unfortunately, it was short-lived.

What shows are you currently watching? Not a regular television watcher. I guess I’ve been a bit of a nerd. I love history

and documentaries. Thus, I watch a lot of Netflix and YouTube videos on real-life stories or documentaries.

What’s your secret to a lasting relationship? Most therapists will tell you about communication. But it starts before then with the selection. Therefore, I guess you can say it goes back to communication. You have to listen during those initial conversations to what is not said just as much as to what is said. During the ‘honeymoon phase’ of courtship we can easily mold the person into what we want by not paying attention to what is being communicated. So if you pick the wrong person to ‘hitch your wagon’ to, it will not matter how effectively you communicate if you guys are just not compatible. With that said my answer, I guess, is communication, verbal and nonverbal. Watch those nonverbs!

Which fashion trend/decade was your absolute favorite? Without question the 1970s. What was in the last package you received? Tailor-made African dress.

What would be your theme song? Marlena Shaw’s “Women of the Ghetto.” Robe or pajamas? Pajamas.

If you had to be a color, which would you choose? Royal purple. Soup or salad? Soup. Soup feels like a warm hug. Salad feels like a prospect. Who would narrate your life story? Viola Davis.

Who was your first celebrity crush? Billy Dee Williams.

Do you talk to animals? Of course, don’t you? LOL.

Favorite lunch spot? Home on the patio.

What do you hope to be remembered for? Service to others and being inspiring.

How often do you cry? I cry about something at least once a quarter.

What was your first job and what year was that? Catfish Palace in Athens, Texas in 1984.

Where did you grow up? Dallas & Tyler, Texas with summers in Bunkie, Louisiana.

What was your favorite childhood pastime? Books. Reading is the greatest escape.

How many times have you been in love? Three.

What makes you smile? Smiling children.

Favorite smell? Early morning after a rain.

1. U.S. Navy Commander Valerie Littlefield (ret.) is now the volunteer post commander of American Legion Post 168, headquartered on Emma Street in Key West.

2. Valerie Littlefield as a toddler (seated on the right).

3. Valerie Littlefield, age 14, in front of a housing project in Dallas, Texas.

4. Valerie Littlefield’s first photo as an ensign in the U.S. Navy in 2000.

MARK HEDDEN/Keys Weekly

“I was a throwaway baby and became a commander in the Navy.”

BY ALEX RICKERT

MARATHON’S SIDNEY OWEN EMBODIES THE SPIRIT OF THE KEYS

THE ‘BUCKET LIST BARTENDER’

When we first approached Florida Keys Steak & Lobster House bartender Sidney Owen about a Keys Woman profile, she was hesitant because she didn’t “fit the mold.” Little did she know that’s exactly why we wanted her on these pages: She embodies so much of the unique spirit that draws people from all over to our islands.

Since 2013, Owen has been a mainstay as the restaurant’s bar manager, recently transitioning to part-time work. She’s known and loved by so many all over the country – to the point that travelers visiting the Keys ask for her by name because simply meeting her is on their bucket list.

“I got here with $10 to my name, walked into the Cracked Conch Cafe and lied about being able to wait tables, and here I am today.” she told us.

We could fill 10 pages with the stories she told us about the years since, including roller skating from Marathon to Key West in 2001 to raise scholarship funds for Marathon students as she collected dollars per mile – and dollars per drink – and solo sailing her 26-foot antique wooden sailboat to the Bahamas. Though we can’t officially confirm this, everyone’s favorite tree Fred has hinted that Owen is even one of the elves who help to decorate him each Christmas.

Who has your longest friendship been with? I would say my success on this planet is based on the friends that I have. I’ve had them for so long it’s hard to pick out one. I have a friend, Pamela Krohn, who’s a part of our tribe of at least 35 people that go to different festivals and camp, but she’s the person I text every day.

What piece of advice do you wish you could give your younger self? Don’t sell that first house you bought, because it’s worth about $800,000 more than what you sold it for.

What is your fondest memory? As a kid, I played the accordion. When I would stay with my grandparents in northern Ontario, they would march behind me as I played English sea shanties, and we’d go visit their friends and stand on their porch and play music.

What shows are you currently watching? I watch anything that has to do with “Star Wars” and “Star Trek.” I’m a big fan of Pedro Pascal’s, so I’m watching “The Last of

Us,” and I hate zombie movies. He wouldn’t even have to take off his helmet, if you know what I mean.

What do you think is the secret to a lasting relationship? First off, you have to be lucky enough to find that person, and wake up every morning and look and say, “Am I ever fortunate to have found this wonderful person.” I unfortunately have not, I’ve found 100 others that I had to ditch. But I haven’t given up hope, and I’m not jaded. You just can’t be with the right person if you’re with the wrong one.

What fashion trend or decade was your absolute favorite? The ’60s were fabulous. They were about social change and mind-bending things, and I bent my mind considerably.

What was in the last package you received at your house? Supplies for the bar.

What would be your theme song? “Big Yellow Taxi” by Joni Mitchell. It’s just fun to sing that one.

1. Travelers come from far and wide to check an item off their bucket list by meeting iconic Steak & Lobster House bartender Sidney Owen.

2. An elf with a striking resemblance to Owen helps Fred the Tree with his holiday decorations.

3. Sidney is an unstoppable force of holiday spirit in the Key Colony Beach boat parade, when she decorates her pedaling kayak with a different theme each year and always has something to toss to onlookers.

4. A poster from 2001 advertises Owen’s skate to Key West to raise funds for Business and Professional Women’s scholarships.

Robe or pajamas? I sleep naked.

If you had to be a color, which one would you choose? Olive green.

Soup or salad? Salad.

Who would narrate your life story? Meryl Streep.

Who was your first celebrity crush? John Lennon.

Do you talk to animals? All the time.

What’s your favorite lunch spot? (Other than Steak & Lobster, of course) The Island Fish Company.

What do you hope to be remembered for? Being a good friend.

What was your first job ever? From the time I was 8 years old, I worked for my father. He was a real estate broker, and he would take me to a clothing store and dress me up for two weeks’ worth of secretarial work every summer. I could type an offer to purchase, I could file all of the MLS listings and answered the phone.

Where did you grow up? Toronto.

What was your favorite childhood pastime? Every sport.

How many times have you been in love? At least 100.

What makes you smile? Seeing little kids play a musical instrument, or seeing someone doing something nice for somebody.

What’s your favorite smell? Lavender. My mother and grandmother were freaks for lavender, so it reminds me of them.

ALEX RICKERT/Keys Weekly

“I got here with $10 to my name ... and here I am today.”

BY KELLIE BUTLER FARRELL

KEY LARGO’S JACQUELINE CAMPA SPREADS HAPPINESS THROUGH ART

WITH A WHIMSICAL STROKE OF A

Artist Jacqueline Campa calls herself a visual storyteller and colorist. Colleagues and collectors describe the 75-year-old Key Largo resident as a trendsetter and risk-taker, someone not afraid to experiment, whether with acrylics or watercolors.

“Jackie is one of the most prolific artists I think I’ve ever known. She is constantly trying new things. It’s inspiring to me,” said Key Largo Art Gallery co-owner Tere Kelley. “Everything she brings in has some sort of story and whimsy to it and it makes you happy. It makes you smile.”

Campa’s vibrant artwork has been on display at Kelley’s art gallery, located on the bayside at MM 103, since the studio opened its doors in 2005.

All of the paintings portray a certain degree of playfulness; many are expressive paintings of women. “I seem to have a thing with mermaids and women’s faces lately,” Campa said.

She believes her interest in painting women dates back to her childhood, growing up in a house with a single mother and a sister.

“As a girl, I enjoyed drawing women because I didn’t grow up in a household with men,” she explained.

Many of Campa’s colorful paintings are inspired by her extensive travels through the Caribbean. Case in point: one she fondly named “Tutti Frutti.”

“’Tutti Frutti’ is just an island girl with a cute little thing on her head; I just thought she was funny,” said Campa of the vivid painting of a woman wearing fruit and flowers on her head.

Campa grew up in Tennessee and became interested in painting while attending Middle Tennessee State University. She moved to Key Largo 25 years ago after spending seven years living on a boat with her husband, Paul, a certified public accountant. “He has one side of the brain and I have the other,” joked Campa.

Once in the Keys, Campa joined the Art Guild of the Purple Isles and quickly came to know other local artists. About six years ago, she began sharing her talents at weekly free art workshops inside the Key Largo library.

“I want to keep painting as long as I can contribute and make art that’s important and enjoyable for other people,” said Campa.

Key Largo resident Deb Riolo is one of her students and biggest fans. “I fell in love with the vibrant colors. I fell in love with

how it made you feel alive,” said Riolo, who has bought five of Campa’s pieces. The most recent purchase was one Campa titled “The Queen,” inspired by the late Queen Elizabeth II.

“She was such a strong and gracious lady. She sure did love colors and wore them beautifully,” said Campa of her fondness for the late British monarch.

Besides being vivid and vivacious, Riolo also loves the fact that all of Campa’s pieces are one-of-a-kind. “She doesn’t make prints of anything,” said Riolo. “Everything is an original.”

At any given time, Campa can be working on five or six paintings. She usually completes 10 to 15 pieces a month. “There is nothing she won’t try,” said Kelley. “She’s always got something new on her plate.”

Campa does not take on commissioned work because she does not want to be boxed in. If she has an idea, she wants to be able to pursue it.

Art is not only a passion for the grandmother of three; painting with vibrant colors can also be therapeutic. “I use art as therapy or my place to heal from whatever happens to me,” said Campa.

Today, Campa says, she is living a dream. The island lifestyle in Key Largo consisting of crystal clear waters, abundant nature and colorful people continue to inspire this artist.

“Many years ago, my dream would be that I could paint all I wanted to paint every day and I’m getting to do that,” said Campa with a smile. “How many people can say that? It is truly wonderful.”

Campa has some advice for artists who are starting out. “I think you have to keep focused on just being honest with your art and try to be yourself and not be disappointed because you’re rejected. Maybe you haven’t found the correct audience for you,” she said.

KELLIE BUTLER FARRELL/Keys Weekly

A BRUSH

Who has your longest friendship been with? How often, if ever, do you fight or have heated moments? The longest friendship is with my husband. We have differences of opinion but don’t fight and respect each other.

What piece of advice do you wish you could give your younger self? My advice to my younger self would be gentle and enjoy all of the differences of your stages of life.

What is your fondest memory? My fondest memory is living on our boat the SandDollar.

What shows are you currently watching? TV shows aren’t my thing. I like to watch YouTube on art and listen to podcasts about art.

What’s your secret to a lasting relationship? Being sincere and caring how you treat others.

Which fashion trend/decade was your absolute favorite? Fashion trends of the ‘60s were cool. I loved hip huggers and halters.

What was in the last package you received? The last package I received was a motherboard for my dryer. My husband and I repaired the dryer.

What would be your theme song? “Three Little Birds Singing Don’t Worry,” about every little thing is going to be all right.

If you had to be a color, which would you choose? I love color and it is one of my focuses in my art. I could just be a tie-dyed shirt of colors.

Soup or salad? I enjoy homemade soup in the cool weather and salad in the summer. So most of the time in the Keys it is salad.

Who would narrate your life story? My friends.

Who was your first celebrity crush? The Beatles.

Do you talk to animals? I talk to my dog, Daisy, and she loves to hear me tell her she is beautiful.

Favorite lunch spot? Shipwrecks.

What do you hope to be remembered for? Making art that brings joy to others and helping people when I can.

How often do you cry? I cry for the loss of my son. He was the light of my life. I miss him every day.

What was your first job and what year was that? My first job was in a shirt factory when I was 16. I worked there in the summer and it helped me realize I wanted to go

to college and get my degree. I was very grateful for the job that helped me pay for my school.

Where did you grow up? I grew up in Bruceton, Tennessee.

What was your favorite childhood pastime? Swimming in the Blue Dip every day in the summer. My sister and I would ride our bikes to and from there every day.

What makes you smile? When I see people enjoying making art, it makes me smile. I volunteer for our Key Largo library once a week to lead art activities.

Favorite smell? I love the smell of rain.

Those wanting to check out Campa’s artwork can stop by the Key Largo Art Gallery, located at 103200 Overseas Hwy. She also teaches free art classes every Tuesday from 1 to 3 p.m. at the Key Largo library, 101485 Overseas Hwy. in the Tradewinds Shopping Plaza.

1. Inside the Key Largo Art Gallery, Jacqueline Campa stands in front of a painting she calls ‘Tutti Frutti.’

2. This Jacqueline Campa painting, ‘The Queen,’ was inspired by the late Queen Elizabeth II.

“Enjoy all of the differences of your stages of life.”

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DRESS FROM OUR

BY

TABLE MANNERS AT 35,000 FEET

We’ve all likely noticed the disappearance of luxury, and even a steady decline of comfort, in air travel. The days of cheese trays being wheeled down the aisle and chateaubriand being carved for passengers far predate my own travel life, but even in my lifetime, there have been shifts. There are greater delays and fewer amenities. Snacks have been downsized, or eliminated altogether. Seats have gotten smaller, while the average American bottom has gotten wider. We’re resigned to hike our knees up and tuck into our best version of contortionist comfort.

We’re also expected to remain just a little bit hungry for the duration of our flights, as very few of us are sated by the 21-gram (a little more than half an ounce) bag served on American Airlines domestic itineraries. It was only a matter of time until hungry travelers took matters into their own grease-streaked hands. One such passenger managed peak internet fame for a brief moment last month after bringing a full rack of ribs, complete with sides, onto a Ryan Air flight in the UK. Commenters were quick to react, with remarks ranging from disgust to admiration.

To the defenders of Michael McRib, I concede that yes, it is difficult to procure food in an airport when your time is limited between flights. Yes, sometimes we need to take food to be consumed on the plane for the sake of our own health and wellbeing. But, therein lies a choice. This man had the same options presented to all travelers – presumably there were sandwiches and little hummus cups available as alternate options. Instead, this individual simply opted for the food that sounded best to his BBQ-craving palate. Would I rather eat a giant bowl of pasta than some cheese and crackers? Yes, of course I would. But there is a time and a place for hot, pungent meals. And that time and place is far away from a situation that has you sharing delicate air and shoulder space with at least two complete strangers. In the interest of quieting cravings and making more considerate choices, air travelers may want to think through a few elements of their meal. Basic senses are a good place to start. Scent: does my meal have a strong

odor? Hearing: does it require noises of smacking, chewing, crunching, crinkling? Touch: are there sauces or oils that could potentially drip or splash onto my seat or seatmate? If you answer “yes” to any of those questions, move along to another choice.

Midair manners extend beyond our food choices though. Recently, flight attendants have (justifiably) added a preflight memo about listening to your devices via headphones, rather than the built-in speakers. This is in addition to a note about masks being a personal choice and that we basically need to be nice to each other. While some of this may seem to be the stuff of common sense, perhaps it needs to be stated in blunt prose. So, in case there were any questions as to these basic means of conducting oneself, let us offer a few off-the-ground rules. Headphones are required for music or videos. Food should be easily contained and not malodorous. Shoes stay on your feet. No in-seat grooming - there are tiny lavatories for such endeavors. If it’s a short flight, you can sit up straight. The armrest doesn’t belong to you or your neighbor – it’s a demarcation, a boundary, it belongs to no one. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze. Keep your legs in your own little cubic space allotment.

Yes, the seats have gotten smaller and the service has been cut back, but that doesn’t give us license to be bad neighbors. After all, we’re all just trying to get our growling stomachs from point A to point B.

A sudden loss of bladder control or urine leakage. A common medical condition that affects women of all ages.

RE/MAX has been at the forefront of expanding opportunities for women in Real Estate since the founding 50 years ago.

Empowering women means providing them with the necessary tools, resources, and opportunities to become confident, independent, and influential members of society It is essential- benefits not only women themselves but also their families and communities. When women are empowered, they can participate more fully in decision-making processes, contribute to economic growth and development, and help to reduce poverty and inequality.

It is an honor for me to work with incredible women at our brokerage To mention a few Pati Robison, Rosanne Dully, Martha Noval, Wendy Ives, Jane Wasmund, Kelly Randin, Mariana Skomp and Talia Gomez

Hey, ladies!

IN KEY WEST: A TABLE FOR ONE IS WELL DONE

Table for one, please.

As a woman dining out alone, you may have experienced the all-too-familiar drill: “Just one?” the host or hostess is likely to query.

As you’re seated, servers quickly whisk away any remaining place settings and chairs disappear, leaving you sitting solo and perhaps feeling a little awkward at all the rearranging your single presence begets.

But as soon as your confidence begins cratering, take note of the fact that enjoying a bite by yourself has its advantages, explained lifestyle expert and travel author Sue Cockell. One of those is realizing that enjoying just your own company will do.

“Own it,” Cockell said. “The fact that you are at a restaurant with a place setting for one shows your strength. You are amazing. Feel it and be proud.”

Key West professional life coach and art gallery manager Laura Mata agreed.

“Take yourself on a date. Give yourself what you would expect from an admirer or lover,” she said.

Here in Key West, we’ve been scouting some solo-friendly eateries for the ladies who prefer a professionally prepared meal over freezer-burned pizza. Or consider a time when you just don’t have the energy or inclination to get a group together for dining out.

The sublime Casa Marina Resort, 1500 Reynolds St., is one of this author’s favorite spots to hang for some peaceful alone time and a nosh by the pool or private beach. No need to be a hotel guest (major renovations are beginning in May) to enjoy the food offerings from the Sun Sun Beach Bar & Grill here. Try the mahi grilled fish sandwich slathered in Key lime sauce or Bahamian

conch fritters sided with yuzu remoulade. Fanciful cocktails like the Skinny Cucumber Lemonade made from agave and vodka and the tequila-infused Coconut Paloma will help you celebrate your “me, myself and I” in the sunshine.

Craving some Asian flavors and maybe a cup of sake or green tea? Head over to Misohappy Sushi and Thai at 504 Southard St. and grab a high-rise chair at one of the outdoor tables for a satisfying savory bowl of “hangover” hot and sour soup, or a conch roll with cream cheese, scallions and smoked salmon.

Finding an eatery with outdoor seating space is easy to do in sunny Key West, like the fancy Marquesa Cafe at 600 Fleming St. in Old Town. There, bring a book, perhaps, and ask for a sidewalk table for one. It’s fun to enjoy an al fresco dinner at the Zagat-rated restaurant that serves up contemporary American cuisine.

On the more casual side, there’s pizza and pasta at Roostica, 5620 MacDonald Ave., Stock Island. It’s the place to grab a slice of the eatery’s wood-fired pies or an eggplant stack sub with fresh basil and melted mozzarella.

Or tank up on caffeine at the single-friendly Funky Rooster Coffee House and Wine Bar on Caroline Street. Outdoor seating abounds on the porch and the interior of the place is kind of like your uncle’s living room minus the uncle. In other words, it’s a true coffee cafe with local artwork and a welcoming vibe. Feel free to bring your laptop or a book to relax for hours if you need a break from the world.

Of course there are always sweet desserts to savor in town and it’s worth visiting the fabled Better Than Sex, 926 Simonton St. Not sure if we can vouch for the claim

made by its name, but the private spaces and candlelit nooks are a unique retreat in which to indulge one’s sweet tooth.

“We see people coming in alone all the time, many who are traveling by themselves, military, you name it,” says manager Tia Marquinez. As proof, Marquinez pointed out an order going out — a semi-sweet chocolate coated wine glass filled with pinot noir.

Another idea for you women going solo for a night? Scan around for local bars or restaurants that offer live music. Comedy, trivia or open mic nights like Thursdays at Kava Culture on Fleming Street. You’ll find tons of solo visitors and locals sipping non-alcoholic herbal drinks while trying out their performance skills on the tiny stage there.

So, we here at Keys Woman hope we have inspired you to get out and have an adventure with the best companion of all — yourself.

“Slow down, explore, enjoy the process and celebrate your uniqueness,” says Mata.

“You are worthy.”

The author studies the dessert offerings on an iPad device at Better Than Sex on Simonton Street on a recent Wednesday evening.

Salt’s zesty cousin

Salt’s zesty cousin

Tajín (sounds like tuh·heen). Look first for Tajín in the grocery store’s international aisle. It’ll likely be placed close to other Mexican ingredients, as it originated in Mexico. No luck? Check the spices and seasonings aisle next.

If you know, you know. This Mexican spice blend is made up of chili powder, lime and sea salt. And if that combo isn’t perfect for spring and summer, we don’t know what is. In Mexico, locals love to sprinkle it over fresh fruits and vegetables. It adds a wonderfully fresh, citrusy and piquant taste (a ZING if you will) to any recipe.

It adds a punch to guacamole or grilled corn; it can be part of a marinade on poultry, meats and fish; and can be used as a tabletop condiment – think salt’s zesty cousin. Or, add Tajín to elevate your favorite cocktails and mocktails!

Here are some great ways to take advantage of Tajín if you’re trying it out for the first time or already have it on hand.

SPICY (OR NOT) MANGO MARGARITA WITH TAJÍN RIMMER

Ingredients

- 1 tablespoon Tajín seasoning

- Generous pour of tequila (preferably Reposado)

- Handful of frozen mango cubes, frozen (still have some of the abundance from last year’s haul?)

- Splash of coconut water

- Fresh lime juice (1-2 squeezed)

- 3 ounces Grand Marnier or Cointreau (or other orange liqueur)

- 3 tablespoons simple syrup or agave

- Lime, for garnish

Directions

- Slice half a lime into 2 thin rounds for garnish and cut an additional piece for the rim of the glasses.

- Shake Tajin, or chili lime salt, into a shallow dish or small plate. Rub a cut lime wedge around the rim of 2 glasses then turn the glasses upside down and place into the Tajin to coat the rim. Let dry while preparing mango margaritas.

- Add all remaining ingredients, except ice, to a blender.

- Puree until smooth.

- Pour into glasses and add lime wedge on the rim. If desired add the ice for margaritas on the rocks, and serve.

Side note: Want to make these spicy mango margaritas even spicier? Add a couple slices of fresh jalapeño and enjoy!

WATERMELON TAJÍN SKEWERS

Ingredients

- 2-3 cups fresh watermelon, cut into 2-inch cubes

- 1/2 lime, juice and zest

- 1 tablespoon Tajín

- 1/3 cup cotija cheese, crumbled (or feta if you prefer)

- 2 tablespoons fresh mint, finely chopped pinch of flaky salt (love using maldon)

Directions

- Skewer 5-6 pieces of watermelon and season with lime juice and Tajín.

- Top the skewers with crumbled cotija cheese, chopped mint, and a pinch of flaky salt.

ANNIE BRIENING/ Overseas Media Group

ANNIE BRIENING/ Overseas Media Group

LOVE. SERVICE. RESTAURANT. HOME.

Being a leader and mentor in the wine industry is not what I set out to do.

Like many of us, I did not have a clearcut plan of what I wanted to do when I ‘grew up.’ I was not the person who said, “I’m going to be a teacher, lawyer, firefighter, doctor, etc.”

Dreams so big: I was going to be a famous actress or a singer/songwriter, I thought I would sell my paintings. I learned to sew and make my own clothes. When I was still a teenager, my older brother passed a job on to me at Snack Shack, which was the local truck stop for all the big blue and white Chrysler trucks. I learned to fry eggs, poach eggs, make a perfect omelet with the toast coming up at the perfect time, and pour lots and lots of coffee. (I then passed that job on to my younger brother.) More restaurant jobs followed, to pay for school, a car, flying lessons, travel, spending money. Eventually, I moved to Manhattan, then to Boston.

One super cold winter night, my boyfriend and I flipped a coin: Los Angeles or Florida; I then lived in LA for almost 20 years. For extra support for my singing gigs, painting, sewing projects, and travel, you guessed it: I worked in restaurants.

What happened next is called destiny,

serendipity, fate, blessed. I met a manager at a very fine-dining French restaurant and he asked me to smell some wines. We both discovered that I have a very good sense of smell. He encouraged me to learn about wine. Curious, I got a book. The history of wine intrigued me so much that I wanted to learn more. I loved the stories about the wineries, the agriculture, the families, the meals with wine, the travel and everything that I was learning.

As I embarked on the exam journey to become a master sommelier it became clear to me that not only would I have to know the facts, I would also have to be passionate to get through its rigor. Not a problem for me, since the more I learned, the more there was to learn.

The exam curriculum took away five years of any normal social life. I spent nights working in a fine-dining restaurant and days poring over wine regions, memorizing soils and grapes, and tasting, tasting, tasting hundreds of wines from all over the world. When I passed my exams, I was so grateful for my mentors and friends who encouraged me that I vowed to pay it forward.

When I meet someone who is curious, asks questions and wants to learn, I am

100% with them. I have never forgotten that at one time I did not know anything about wine, didn’t know what Crown Royal was, or how to open a bottle. I pass no judgment when I see someone starting out knowing nothing but who has that spark. I am so proud of the persons that I have mentored to take an intro exam, or apply for a better job, or start their own business. These experiences also help me to keep growing and to stay active in my profession.

Like many jobs, we spend more time at them than we do at home. Restaurants are a perfect example of this. Working in a restaurant is the complete opposite of an office or desk job. I have easily walked 20,000 steps in a shift. It is not always easy and we take special care of our feet and knees.

Yet I love the hospitality business; it is a home for me. My profession and vocation involve everything that I love: people, music, art, ambience, travel, food, learning and teaching. It’s a miracle and I feel lucky and blessed to be able to work in such an environment. And, as the years pass and I am able to mentor and empower others, it is a powerful feeling of accomplishment.

The things we do

How did THAT happen? Where did that younger, thinner, fresh-faced gal go? And how long am I going to keep lying to myself about getting back into the old jeans I’ve kept in the back of the closet? Womanhood is a magical, intense, rewarding experience — in the best of times. But aging can be a tough transition, filled with doubt and disappointment as things start to look and feel a bit different. The luckiest among us have older, wiser girlfriends and relatives to guide us through this weird and wild ride. We here at Keys Weekly are always happy to help, so we’ve compiled a list of things we wish someone would have warned us about as the years tick by.

Whiskers aren’t just for cats.

Make-up is not sweatproof. It’s ok to give it up.

A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR & SARCASM HELPS.

A KID’S TACKLE BOX IS A GREAT PLACE TO ORGANIZE ALL YOUR PILLS.

You are smarter and have more money than you did 20 years ago, so that’s a fun bonus.

Painting your toenails gets tougher when you can’t bend as easily — and can’t see without reading glasses.

I have to travel with tweezers and a magnifying mirror, lest I want to look like Magnum PI after a two-day trip.

DRINK WATER, LOTS OF WATER.

Let people know how you feel about them.

You are going to sweat A LOT!

Oh, the reading glasses. It’s not the restaurant’s fault for low lighting. It’s your aging eyes.

You’ve never packed so many pairs of underwear for a trip in your life until you hit the age of 41.

None of us are getting out of here alive, so make the most out of everyday.

YOUR FRIENDSHIPS ARE WILDLY IMPORTANT.

Perimenopause is actually the part that sucks. Keep an eye out for signs and symptoms.

KNOW YOUR WORTH, DOUBLE IT & ADD TAX.