FIERCE & FEMININE

KICKASS WOMEN — INCLUDING AN INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER/MODEL, AN ARTIST, AN ACTIVIST AND A COUNTY COMMISSIONER (OR TWO) — SCHOOL

THIS WRITER IN HOW TO BE A STRONG FEMALE IN OUR 40S, 50S, 60S AND BEYOND

Two weeks ago, I started unpacking boxes in my new, tiny apartment. Age 52 and freshly divorced, I had just moved into my first home as a single woman in many years. I stepped over my little Pomeranians while I organized the clutter. As I placed a makeup mirror on a shelf, I caught a glimpse of my reflection. My face had more wrinkles than before.

“Is this it?” I thought. “Is this my slow decline into a retirement home, with my dogs, a recliner and the Home Shopping Network my only companions?”

Ping! My phone sent me an email alert: I had received a request to write an article for Keys Woman magazine. Would I like to take on the subject of women living amazing lives in their 40s, 50s, 60s and beyond?

Very quickly, I sent my reply: “Absolutely. When do we begin?”

Thus began my quest to interview the badass women in my life — during a time in which I truly needed it — with the hope to inspire our Keys Woman readers. I asked all of my subjects the same questions: How can we live with joy and passion as we get older? How can we press “restart” without being depressed as the years march by, with images of youthful beauty constantly bombarding us, from Netflix to Instagram?

Happily, after talking to two Monroe County commissioners, an activist, an artist, and yes, even an Instagram influencer/model, I got a much-needed injection of power. Their key tips? Try to do something scary at least once a day, stick to what gives you joy, enjoy your wisdom, focus on the things that truly matter and keep close to the women who empower you. I am here for it.

“I wasted the entire 39th year of my life freaking out about turning 40. Seriously!” exclaimed Monroe County Commissioner Michelle Lincoln. “It is a number. What is more important is your attitude. … I turned 60 a year ago, and I truly believe as a late bloomer that I am just now finding my stride.”

“I don’t believe in being scared to age,” said artist, retired teacher and Upper Keys resident Carmen Kelley. “I remember my grandmother in her 60s putting on her makeup, combing her hair, smelling her perfume and enjoying her laughter.”

Unfortunately, at its worst, society can see women in their 40-plus years as invisible or even embarrassing. Sixtyfive-year-old Alison Monteith basically told me, “screw that.”

“I’m shameless now,” she said.

The Birmingham, England-based model and Instagram influencer has 15,000 followers and counting. Monteith wears red lipstick and rocks her silver hair in a short Tilda Swinton-inspired style with shaved sides, and every day, she posts her outfits to her account @thin_latin_moose with such hashtags as #silverismysuperpower.

“Strangely, since growing my hair out (in silver), I’ve stopped being invisible,” she said. “It’s one of the most empowering things I’ve ever done.”

All the women I interviewed agreed: A great mental attitude is everything.

“I had a life-altering experience when I was 47 and almost lost my life,” said Lincoln. “Ever since, I cherish every birthday. … I really started working on being the best version of me in all aspects of my life. Physically, spiritually, career-wise and for my community. By my late 50s, I honed in on an attitude where I can be fierce and feminine. I am so excited to see what is next for me. I am at a point in my life where I am confident in my own skin, and I don’t feel it necessary to compare myself to others.”

Lincoln’s colleague, Holly Raschein, age 42, is a former Florida state representative, a current Monroe County commissioner and an all-around mover and shaker.

“I now feel a distinct self-confidence in myself, a feeling that I couldn’t quite grasp in my younger years,” she said. “The life experiences that have come my way and the hurdles I’ve overcome have provided me with a very unique angle on life as a woman. As a younger person, I was bright-eyed and bushytailed all right, but I didn’t have the resources that I have now to draw on.”

Raschein also emphasized the importance of friendships in boosting self-esteem.

“Life gets real when you enter your 30s, and it goes up from there,” she said. “You get married, you have a baby, you run for office, you know, small stuff. It’s at this point that drawing on your friendships starts to mean the most. The OGs really count, and quality versus quantity really means something.”

Seventy-one-year-old activist Denise Downing said female friendships, and human connection in general, are essential for a life well-lived. She is the co-founder of Tavernier’s JOY Center, a nonprofit with engaging and vibrant activities for seniors.

“It’s important to empower yourself to strengthen friendships or find ways to meet new people and learn and do challenging things,” she said.

Downing described how a recently widowed friend became a volunteer at JOY in order to stay engaged and keep her attitude positive. And yet another of her friends spent her 50s and beyond skydiving and learning to become a pilot.

Monteith is a former commercial interior designer and never expected to be a model. Like many during COVID, she and her husband found themselves at a crossroads without income coming in. She found herself depressed, and with her husband’s help decided to shake herself out of it. After being scouted on the street by a modeling agent — and despite always shyly avoiding cameras before — she decided to give it a go and start an Instagram account.

“I’m such an advocate of ‘Do something that frightens you every day,’” said Monteith. “What is so good about a comfort zone? It’s so stodgy and sterile. … You have one life — better damn well do it.”

Constantly pursuing activities that she is passionate about is essential for artist Kelley.

“I am always looking for exposure and new directions as an artist,” she told me. “How do I reach a clientele through my art? How do I make someone love it?”

Her Cuban roots keep her constantly motivated.

“I have been in the U.S. for 60-plus years,” she said. “I left a Communist country as a small child with my parents who had an M.D. and a Ph.D., to seek freedom and start a new life. There has been one thing that has stayed consistent: The ‘balseros,’ or rafters, crossing the Florida Straits 90 miles north to seek freedom. … I am proud of who I am and felt the need to paint their story.``

Activist Downing feels that as we get older we learn to focus on what’s truly important — and it’s not the latest Gucci handbag or a smooth forehead.

“When I attended my 10th high school reunion, it was, ‘Look at me! My car! My job!’” she recalled. “But by the 20th reunion, we had lost a parent, a spouse, perhaps dealt with cancer. Humbling things. We had a mellowing and a real appreciation for the commonality of life experiences.”

And most of all, said Lincoln, we need to cherish those who inspired us, then spread their message to women of all ages.

“So, by the time this article is in print my mom will have passed away,” Lincoln said. “I am sitting with her right now in a hospice unit as she is transitioning from this life. Gloria was strong-willed, stubborn, ethical and a firm supporter of women and women’s rights. She raised her daughters and empowered us to graduate from college and go for whatever career we wanted.”

And with that, I have my marching orders. I’m going to call friends, ignore negative messages — and take that salsa-dancing class I’ve been too scared to take. Sisters, we can do this.

BY CHRIS McNULTY

The society we live in constantly pushes us to be productive, and it can be easy to internalize our personal value as determined by our social output. However, using an astrological lens can help us to see that we are innately valuable because we were born into a universe that simply couldn’t go on without us. Taking care of ourselves is a way to honor our unique contribution to the world regardless of our economic or social productivity. Here are some self-care tips for each of the Zodiac signs to help you support your own well-being:

ARIES

Get some sleep! Aries is the sign of relentless energetic output, and you fiery Rams seem to have an infinitely burning engine to attack the tasks of the day. However, it is so important to remember that the body and mind need sleep to regenerate. Don’t forget to hang up your warrior’s helmet and get the respite you need to fight tomorrow.

TAURUS

Taurus is an earth sign ruled by Venus, the planet of beauty and love. It is easy for you Bulls to find rest and luxuriate in fine foods and artistic joys, which plays into the stereotype of being lazy. Get up and stretch — whether it’s yoga, pilates, or simply reaching for the sky, your body needs movement to stay limber and healthy.

GEMINI

Gemini has a mind that is constantly thinking. While it’s natural for ideas to be streaming through the Gemini psyche, it can lead to difficulties with attention and order. Journaling can help you mental gymnasts structure your ideas so they aren’t so spaghettified.

CANCER

Take yourself out on a solo date. As the sign of the moon, you are always in caregiver mode for the people in your life because your empathy for others is so genuine. Let others nurture you for once — out for a nice meal, see a good show, get a massage. Everyone else can take care of themselves for an evening.

LEO

As the sign of the sun, Leos need to be seen and affirmed for your creative output. Treat yourself to a makeover so you can see yourself in a different light and feel fresh when you step back into the spotlight. Rejuvenated skin and a new make-up regimen can empower your entertaining persona.

VIRGO

Virgos are the organized servants of the Zodiac, keeping an eye on helping others while making sure no box goes unchecked. Rummage through your closet! Throw your clothes around, set things aside to donate and rearrange everything. Remind yourself that a little mess is okay and find the joy in putting things back where they belong.