PROOF OF HUMAN RESILIENCE

With every sentence Valerie Littlefield uttered, my jaw dropped further and my eyes popped wider. Her calm tone and classy demeanor belied the contents of her conversation as she recalled a childhood of unimaginable hardship, but without seeking sympathy or showing a trace of self pity.

“My father was a pimp and a drug dealer. I used to think I had all these aunties coming to the house, but really, they were just hos bringing my mom money,” said Littlefield, who grew up — more quickly than any kid should — in Louisiana and Texas. “Then, when I was 5, my mom had left my dad, who had become a heroin addict, and my stepdad was a reign of terror who was arrested for being a pedophile when I was 13. I remember my mom taking the typewriter, sewing machine and TV to the pawn shop to bail him out of jail. Then she told my sister and I that we needed to find someplace else to live because there wouldn’t be any girls living in the house with them.”

Valerie lived in a refrigerator box under a bridge, then entered the foster care system. “I went to school so I could eat,” she said.

It’s also where two people gave the often-suicidal teen a reason to live. A kindly lunch lady gave her extra servings, and a compassionate janitor let her into the school building early in the morning.

“I’d steal soap from the school and clean up in the bathroom,” she said. “The lunch lady would smile at me with a motherly smile. You never know how the little things you do for someone will change their life.

“As humans we are very resilient,” she said. “I was a throwaway baby and became a commander in the Navy. Every place I was stationed, I would find a place to volunteer, often in the mental health field. I also became a foster parent.”

While in the military, Valerie earned a bachelor’s, then a master’s degree in nursing, and then an executive MBA.

Her last duty station before retiring was in Key West, where she headed up the Naval Branch Health Clinic on South Roosevelt Boulevard. But never one to slow down, she now serves as volunteer post commander for the VFW and American Legion Post 168 on Emma Street.

What piece of advice do you wish you could give your younger self? It is not about if he loves you, it is about whether he loves you the way you deserve to be loved.

What is your fondest memory? When my mother left her abusive husband (my stepfather). I remember feeling like I could breathe for the first time in my life (at that time). It was one month of heavenly bliss. Unfortunately, it was short-lived.

What shows are you currently watching? Not a regular television watcher. I guess I’ve been a bit of a nerd. I love history and documentaries. Thus, I watch a lot of Netflix and YouTube videos on real-life stories or documentaries.

What’s your secret to a lasting relationship? Most therapists will tell you about communication. But it starts before then with the selection. Therefore, I guess you can say it goes back to communication. You have to listen during those initial conversations to what is not said just as much as to what is said. During the ‘honeymoon phase’ of courtship we can easily mold the person into what we want by not paying attention to what is being communicated. So if you pick the wrong person to ‘hitch your wagon’ to, it will not matter how effectively you communicate if you guys are just not compatible. With that said my answer, I guess, is communication, verbal and nonverbal. Watch those nonverbs!

Which fashion trend/decade was your absolute favorite? Without question the 1970s. What was in the last package you received? Tailor-made African dress.

What would be your theme song? Marlena Shaw’s “Women of the Ghetto.” Robe or pajamas? Pajamas.

If you had to be a color, which would you choose? Royal purple. Soup or salad? Soup. Soup feels like a warm hug. Salad feels like a prospect. Who would narrate your life story? Viola Davis.

Who was your first celebrity crush? Billy Dee Williams.

Do you talk to animals? Of course, don’t you? LOL.

Favorite lunch spot? Home on the patio.

What do you hope to be remembered for? Service to others and being inspiring.

How often do you cry? I cry about something at least once a quarter.

What was your first job and what year was that? Catfish Palace in Athens, Texas in 1984.

Where did you grow up? Dallas & Tyler, Texas with summers in Bunkie, Louisiana.

What was your favorite childhood pastime? Books. Reading is the greatest escape.

How many times have you been in love? Three.

What makes you smile? Smiling children.

Favorite smell? Early morning after a rain.

BY ALEX RICKERT