Rochester Woman Online May 2017 by Rochester Woman Online

Special Feature Mary A Mother’s Elizabeth Emotions Nesser

Platter Chatter

FIORELLA’S

Making Hoo-Ha’s Happy All Over Rochester

A Little Wine Hopping WITH ROCHESTER WOMAN

Spring Into Fashion with RWO SPECIAL and the MTF Modeling SECTION

Agency Home & Garden Tips and Tricks

Women Who Inspire

Joanna Armes Elizabeth SaintOurs

AnneMarie DeSalvo Perlo’s Restaurant Making Rochester “GLOW”

WHERE EVERBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME

Rhythmic Circus

Tiempo Libre Go, Dog. Go!

MOMIX

Do You Speak Djembe? Pinkalicious

Our best offer of the season! Order by June 13 for 10% off and a chance to win free tickets, VIP parking, and more!

naz.edu/50 â&#x20AC;¢ 585-389-2170 Season sponsors: The Max and Marian Farash Charitable Foundation and M&T Bank

Black Violin

THIS REGION IS HOME TO LEADERS. This region is home to motivated people like Katie. Just weeks after Rochester Regional Health’s neurosurgeons removed a life-threatening tumor from her brain, she was back to coaching – leading her girls to victory.

Katie Titus, Webster

{ table of COntents } regulars 6

PUBLISHERS LETTER

8 TEAM LIST

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Denise Peters

CITY SENSE

72 O’ TALK WITH ORTENSIA The Mother of Drag(ons) 78 FOR A GOOD CAUSE ViaONEHope 104 LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS

146

Day Dream Cakes

116

MASTERMIND LOUNGE John Beck

120 THE DIVA’S REPORT

Prosecco’s

130 TUXEDO’S PET CORNER 138 BOHA

Justin Collins

142 ON THE WAY UP

Toni Beth Weasner

176

HER EDGE Tonya Cornelius

104

182 LAW AND HIP HOP

Health & wellness

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

188 ASK THE DOCTOR

fashion & BEAUTY

202

SOUL SENSE

128 FASHION FORWARD

206

SENIOR LIFESTYLES

190

THE PERFECT HUE

212

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

270

WHAT MOTIVATES YOU

232

HEALTHY WOMAN Cupping

food

238 EVERYDAY PUSH

124

HOT BEAUTY TREND ALERT

PLATTER CHATTER Fiorella’s

ROCHESTER DRINKS

242

GET HYPNOTIZED

248

IN HER DEFENSE

180 TEA FOR TWO

256 BUFF TO BRAWN

210

COOKING WITH JULIA K

278

258

COOKING WITH OILS

MENOPAUSE MOMENT

ay 2017 { table of COntents }

COVER STORY 12 DONNA PERLO Perlos Restaurant regulars 176

YOUNG WOMENS COLLEGE PREP

198 ALL ABOUT M.E. 182

UNRAVELED

222

YOU CAN BE...

230

ASK THE ANGELS WITH PSYCHIC MEDIUM SARAH ITKIN

236 A LITTLE RW SECRET

Breakout

special features 18

240 A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE

VIGNERI CHOCOLATES

246

HOME AND GARDEN SPECIAL SECTION

252 THINK OPPOSITE

68 TRILOGY

CNY LATINO

254

YOU’RE WORTH IT!

PEPPA POT

260

SURVIVING AND THRIVING

108

JEANIE SMITH

264

WOMEN THAT RISE

112

VIAGIRASOLE WINE BAR

266

QUEEN OF ARTS

272

GIVEN WINGS

146 A MOTHER’S EMOTIONS

274 BUILDING YOUR BUSINESS 276 TODDLERS & TYKES 282

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

{ from the publisher }

“I cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” -W.C. Fields

he next best thing to eating food, is talking about it. In this months May edition of Rochester Woman Online, we are doing just that...talking wine and food with some fabulous local restaurants, chefs, wine bars and more. With over 286 pages of compelling stories, tips and tricks, inspirational features and incredible advertisers, it is hard to figure out where to begin!

When thinking of the perfect cover for the May wine and food edition, the first woman that popped into my mind was none other then Donna Perlo, owner of Perlo’s Restaurant in East Rochester. A Rochester tradition for over 13 years, Perlo’s is a warm, comfortable atmosphere with a true feeling of being part of the family. A place where “everybody knows your name”.You’ll find great food and a full bar in their upscale, yet casual atmosphere. Read all about Donna, and this incredible Italian restaurant on page [12], or come and join us for our Launch Party on Thursday, May 15th from 5:30-8pm at Perlos and meet the owner and taste the incredible food for yourself! With May being the month for honoring mother’s, and being a mom myself, I decided to do a special feature on a mother’s many emotions both good and bad featuring the incredibly compelling photos captured by our own Sandy Arena. Just one word is all that is needed, or maybe none at all to capture these heartfelt images. See exactly what I am talking about on pg [146].

T T

ON OUR COVER

Our May cover woman, Donna Perlo owner of Perlo’s Restaurant in East Rochester was shot on location by Brandon Vick Photography.

How about a little chocolate to go with our wine this month? Well were excited to be able to sit with Alex, owner of Rochester’s Vigneri Chocolates this month. All I can say is boy do the photos make my mouth water! Make sure not to miss their story by writer Rebecca Evangelista on pg [ 18]. Then it couldn’t be a May edition without some Home and Garden Tips to get the season started...38 pages to be exact. In this special section we have asked the experts in real estate, financial planning, insurance, mortgages and even home decorating and design to give our readers some helpful advice for home buying, savings, redesigning that special room and more. Make sure not to miss all the information starting on pg [23]. I am so excited to announce that for our June edition we are going all male! Yes, that’s right...it is going to be our first Rochester Men’s edition! From the truly amazing and talented Greg Polisseni on our cover, to the insides filled with inspiring, creative and jaw dropping local men such as actor/producer Tom Malloy, dancers Jim Nowakowski and Teddy Coffey to local entrepreneurs Blake Dufault of Hue Salons and Louie Maher of Brand Mint and lots of surprises in between...this edition is going to be nothing short of spectacular! So who wants to join us?

Let the summer begin! Oh, and the food and wine too! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ a look at our team }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF ASSOCIATE EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGNER & MANAGER

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Cassondra Kubit Kelly Breuer Sandy Arena Lush Light Photography Amelia Neusatz Brandon Vick Christopher Cove Photography Christopher “GoodKnews” Cardwell Amanda Kinton Amanda Padgham Julia Antenucci Chrissy Monroe Cheryl Kates-Benman Mary Elizabeth Nesser Jill Burress Dr. Norm ODell Mary Bushey Nancy ODonnell Alana Calhoon James Payne Lisa Cove Kitty Teresi Rosa Davila James Woods, MD Tracy Echeverri Josephine Matela Mark Forrest Patrick Barbara Axelson Mary Therese Friel Debbie McQ Marisol Hernandez Sandy Arena Monica Infante Susan Aser Sarah Itkin Vickie Adams Rebecca Jaffarian Ginni Denninger David Jenkins Jason Pearce Doug Jones Alison Donaghey Jessica Kelly Phyllis Haberer Sheila Kennedy Lindsay Marie Julia Khoury Blake Dufault Rebecca Knittle Jeanna Lombardi Candice Korts Dani Polidor Cassondra Kubit Beth Lynch Fabrice LeYon Drew Broderick Tamara MacDuff Darcia Kunkel Michael Massielo Enzo Scollo Julie M. May Laurie Bonnell Maja Milicevic Klugh Denisse Dirlam Joan Lincoln Carrie Gruschow Stephanie Nitya Armstrong Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates Julia Antenucci & Cassondra Kubit Jessica Kelly & Brandon DeWind

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.

GET READY FOR SUMMER!

LASER HAIR REMOVAL

The perfect solution for unwanted hair.

COOLSCULPTING ®

Non-invasive fat reduction.

BEFORE

AFTER* (16 WEEKS)

*Before and after photos courtesy of Grant Stevens, MD, FACS.

ULTHERAPY ®

Facial skin li ing.

BEFORE

AFTER

BEAUT Y & ANTI-AGING • B O T OX ® • K Y B E L L A ® • VO L U M A ®

• DY S P O R T ® • J U V É D E R M ® • RESTYLANE® O O D A Y T C A L L T E Y O U R UL SCHED

FREE

CONSU

L T A T IO

3240 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618

- idealimage.com

BRANDON VICK BRANDONVICKPHOTOGRAPHY.COM

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

P { our cover story }

BY JULIA ANTENUCCI I PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK PHOTOGRAPHY

“Some Times You Want To Go Where Everybody Knows Your Name.” Cheers may have coined this classic -- daresay cliche -- line, but isn’t it just the truth? No matter where we go, humans as a species long for community. Like a watering hole in the serengeti, community forms around what gives us life. Food, drink, friendship, family -- all of these things keep us together, happy, and thriving. And for many in Rochester, Perlo’s Restaurant in Penfield is the spot for food, libations, celebration, and tradition.

conviction that it is an unfortunately rare thing to see female entrepreneurs spearheading operations in the food and beverage world. And as someone who works hard to support the ever-increasing female-owned establishments in Rochester, it’s exciting to speak to women like Donna. Her story is inspiring, and is one of perseverance and passion. Of course, like many extraordinary people, her humility is at the forefront of her personality.

Donna first started working in the restaurant industry in 1987. While she had no prior restaurant experience, Donna was game for the challenge. The Rochester native had worked at her family’s flower shop since the age of 13, and was eager to set out on her own venture.

This is no accident. In fact, anyone who knows Donna Perlo, knows that her restaurant was established nearly two decades ago with this very intention.

“I’m not one to focus on the past,” Donna tells me. “I always have my gaze on the future.”

With zero food experience under her belt, Donna became the owner of the Water Street Grille, located Downtown. The work was hard, but it taught her how to stick to her guns and how to run a food establishment successfully.

After all, her restaurant’s motto reads: “A tradition of fine foods, friends, and family.” As a food features writer, I can say with

But with a story like Donna’s it’s hard not to honor her past and the hard work she’s put into making Perlo’s a go-to spot for classic, New York style Italian dining in a family-friendly environment.

“I always wanted to do something that was mine,” Perlo said.

“I learned the hard way,” she said. “I basically went in blind.”

{ our cover story }

“One of the things that I’ve really enjoyed is working with some of the younger women and going for a job that’s not in a women’s field,” she said. “There are a few I believe I’ve helped, and it’s just been really rewarding.”

After 12 successful years of business, a devastating kitchen fire forced Donna to shut down the establishment. She decided not to reopen, and instead found a brief yet success career in real estate. But Donna missed her former career, and the sociable, connection-forming nature of the hospitality industry. “I just love people,” she said. “I make real relationships with my customers and I missed making those connections.” So after four years, Donna decided to get back into business. With the help of her husband, she opened Perlo’s. The business has been thriving for 16 years come this October. Over the years, Perlo’s has evolved. But Donna feels the most current redesign is reflective of Perlo’s at its essence. “I wanted it to feel like a neighborhood restaurant in New York,” she said. “And it finally looks and feels the way I want it to.” As a native downstater, I can attest that Donna 14

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

was indeed successful. Stepping into Perlo’s, you’re greeted by the warmth of wood-oaked panels, and walls adorned with vintage family photographs. The warm, carpeted space is matched with the aroma of warming bread, of baked clams and steamed water glasses. It’s the smell of Sunday family dinners in a familiar, yet elegant dining space, the smell of home in many ways. And for many, Perlo’s has become a hub for family occasions throughout all walks of life. From weddings to baby showers to communions, Donna has seen families throughout all stages of life come together to celebrate and make memories. For Donna, this is the most rewarding part of owning Perlo’s -- the palpable connections she is able to make with her customers and individuals in the industry, and the loyalty that persists with the relationships she builds. “I love what I do. I love my customers,” she told me. “They’ve been through a lot with us over the past 16 years. To have been at somebody’s wedding and then watch them baptize their first baby?” She smiled. “It’s just really fulfilling.”

Her connection to her customers can be found everywhere -- from their highly active Facebook page to the menu, where each dish is named after a longtime customer. And to make it to the menu? Donna’s answer is simple. “Become a regular,” she said, laughing. “If I see you in here every week for a few months, you’ve become part of the family.” Throughout her career, Donna has also had the opportunity to help others in their own entrepreneurial journey -- whether it’s her son, owner and operator of Downtown’s the Bug Jar and recently opened The Silver Iguana, or women in the industry just starting out. “One of the things that I’ve really enjoyed is working with some of the younger women and going for a job that’s not in a women’s field,” she said. “There are a few I believe I’ve helped, and it’s just been really rewarding.”

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

How Can this Kitty Sell More Chevys than the Big Fat Cats?

PRICE

Busy becoming the largest Chevrolet dealer in the Rochester area.

1338 Pittsford-Palmyra Road, Macedon, NY | 585-22-CHEVY | www.vanbortelchevrolet.net

{ special feature }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ SPECIAL FEATURE }

BY REBECCA EVANGELISTA I PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK PHOTOGRAPHY

sweet on

Vigneri Chocolates The phrase “food and wine” often elicits strong, passionate emotions.

These emotions can be enhanced if the particular food we’re speaking of involves chocolate. People write poems, short stories, and books about chocolate. Women have love affairs with chocolate.

If one were to spend time googling “chocolate quotes,” she’d find some excellent reminders such as, “Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is,” and “Life happens, chocolate helps.” Alex Vigneri is one such Rochesterian who has a passionate, successful relationship with the decadent delight itself. Vigneri, a 3rd generation chocolatier, is the CEO of Vigneri Chocolate located on Emerson St. in Rochester. I had the pleasure of sitting down with Alex to talk about his business’ strong roots, the company’s commitment to its sustainability program and Fair-trade alliances, and his vision and aspirations for the future.

Sweet Roots

In 1951, Gaetano Vigneri opened a pastry shop, Pasticeria Vigneri, in the coastal town of Realmonte, Sicily. Sixteen years later, his son Filippo moved to America and followed in his father’s footsteps after learning the rich traditions and practicing the recipes his father had passed down. Luckily for us, he opened his pastry shop right here in Rochester. Before traveling to the US, Filippo studied under and learned from some of the best pastry chefs

in Italy at the time. The pastry shop in Rochester quickly became an integral part of the community. Filippo started

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ special feature }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

to dabble in the chocolate industry and soon demand for his chocolate confections grew so much that the business had to move to a separate production facility. In 2011, Alex Vigneri, son of Filippo, reorganized the business into Vigneri Chocolate. At the helm as CEO for the past six years, Alex has grown his family’s business into a widely successful enterprise.

Today’s Chocolatier

You may be wondering where you can sample some of Vigneri’s mouthwatering delights. Although direct to consumer retail accounts for only 25% of the company’s revenue generation, the Rochester woman reader can purchase Vigneri brand chocolate in outfits such as Walgreens, Toys R Us, Dylan’s Candy Bar, and the local favorite, Wegmans. Wegmans and Vigneri Chocolates have a strategic partnership. The two local powerhouse companies collaborated on the illustrious Wegmans-brand chocolate bark. If you haven’t had the opportunity to purchase the chocolate bark, you’re truly missing out! Next time you’re in Wegmans, head over to the bakery and pick up pieces of the hand broken chocolate treat. If you’re in the company of children, you may have seen the buzz surrounding the Doodle Egg this past Easter. The Doodle Egg is a Vigneri Chocolate creation in which one can decorate a semi-solid all natural milk chocolate egg with an edible candy shell! If you haven’t experienced the chocolate egg decorating kit for yourself, I recommend getting your hands on one next year. The Doodle Egg won Vigneri the 2014 Most Innovative Product of the Year award at the Sweets & Snacks EXPO. This is a prestigious honor in an industry that is constantly innovating and evolving to win the consumer’s attention. Bummed the “Doodle Egg” is only offered at Easter time? Don’t worry, this inventive company won’t let you down. They have a lot of projects in their pipeline and maybe you’ll find yourself staring at another one of Vigneri’s creations on a shelf during an

upcoming holiday shopping trip! As previously mentioned, the Vigneri brand of chocolates only accounts for a portion of the company’s success. The other two segments are the Vigneri Chocolate Partner Brands, and their new Da Cocoa line which includes ingredient elements for the chocolate professional to execute in mass retail. The basis of the later line, just as with all Vigneri’s creations, is to focus on all natural coloring, all natural ingredients, and provide the same taste and quality one comes to expect from Vigneri. The Vigneri Chocolate Partner Brand segment is the fastest growing for the local company. It’s because of Alex’s forward thinking approach to this segment that Vigneri is able to excel in this space. Speaking of the chocolate industry and partner brands, Alex comments, “If it’s your dream to make it happen, we want to make it happen with you.” Sustainability and Fair-Trade For an operation that can churn out over 100,000 pounds of chocolate a week, the focus is on producing the best quality chocolate while constantly thinking of ways to reduce their carbon footprint. The company is focused on its sustainability program and is actively pursuing ideas to use less materials and reduce their waste. When asked if the company works with consultants to help with this effort, Alex replied, “No, we do everything ourselves. It’s challenging work, but it’s the right way to run the company.” Another impressive company value is their laser focus on sourcing Fair-Trade cocoa beans. Alex is intimately familiar with his company’s primary ingredient, the cocoa bean. Prior to taking over the reigns as CEO, Alex spent time as the Chief Marketing Officer for the West Africa Growers Assoc. Nearly 70% of the world crop of cocoa is grown in West Africa. It’s a core company value to ensure the cocoa he is sourcing is Fair-Trade. For those unaware, Fair-Trade standards, as “agreed by the Fairtrade Labelling Organization, stipulate that traders must: · Pay a price to producers that covers the costs of sustainable production and living · Pay a premium that producers can invest in

business development and/or social improvements · Make partial advance payments when requested by producers · Sign contracts that allow for long-term planning and sustainable production practices (Anti-slavery international, 2004).” Vigneri Chocolates other core values, besides ingredients, include: integrity, innovation, inspire, and invest.

Eyes on the future

Speaking of innovation and investment, Alex Vigneri is committed to his vision of enhancing his community. In the near future, he hopes to create an experiential learning center, focused on chocolate. The space would provide an opportunity for adults and children alike to learn the art and science of chocolate making as well as the opportunity to create their own treats! Vigneri knows that in his industry, he needs to be persistent in his innovation efforts. He clued me in on some exciting projects that are in his R&D pipeline, one of which is called ICON. ICON stands for instant chocolate ordering innovation. The platform allows consumers like you and me to customize our chocolate by answering when, why, and what prompts! What an exciting novelty! There are quite a few other projects in the works, and if you keep your eye on this company, you’ll know soon enough how insightful and creative this company is. Vigneri sees his company continuing to evolve on the sustainability front as well as remain loyal to his core values. He sees the transition that a lot of society is making toward more natural snacking and choosing healthier options. This is exactly why the company’s website reminds us of chocolate’s health benefits. In case you forgot, “raw cocoa has the highest antioxidant value of all natural foods in the world,” and “chocolate protects against heart disease – similar to red wine, chocolate contains phenols.” I don’t know about you, but I think that’s just about all the prompting I need to go out and snag some decadent Vigneri Chocolate.

special section Rochester Woman Online

HOME & GARDEN

READ ABOUT:

- mortgage tips - real estate hints - tree care - home owners insurance - decorating ideas - finance tips - and more from our experts!

{ susan talks home }

It’s also a great way to involve the entire family in the move and to spread some of the responsibilities to each person, including your children. You’ll feel a sense of accomplishment as items are checked off. Moreover, as the weeks roll by, your checklist will help ensure that nothing has been overlooked or omitted from your planning, and that alone will go a long way toward relieving some of your anxiety. Here are a Few Moving Tips To Get You Started… Excerpt from the book HOW TO HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MOVE that I created over the years to help my clients Eight Weeks Before You Move

H OW T O H AV E A SUCCESSFUL MOVE BY SUSAN ASER

It’s never too soon to begin planning your move.

The best way to make a smooth transition is with a checklist.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Create a “Move Information” file to hold all your move related receipts, documents etc…Using a brightly colored organizer/file box with interior pockets/ folders ensures critical moving, income tax, etc…paperwork is not misplaced or left behind! Interview mover(s) and get estimates. (Book your truck rental if you’re not using professionals and buy a padlock for the truck) if moving a long distance (see “Moving Guide” hints) Contact your insurance company to see how to handle your policy with moving. Additional insurance is also available thru the mover. Start collecting boxes (if they’re not being provided by the mover) Remove items from your attic, basement and storage shed. These are items that you probably don’t need anymore or can pack. Sort your belongings and place into one of four boxes: 1. Taking 2.Donating

3.Garage Sale 4. Garbage Start to use up things you can’t move, such as frozen foods and cleaning supplies. If moving out of town, contact your realtor, the Chamber of Commerce or visitor’s centers in your new community. Or for a local move contact the towns for a welcome package. Make appointments for any medical, dental, vet, vaccinations, or eye services that can be done before the move. Then get copies of medical, dental & school records for every family member. Get copies of vet records. Make sure all vaccination info for family and pets is up to date. Ask offices for any recommendations they may have for the new area. If relocating: request letters from all utilities that you currently use (electric, gas, etc..) to present to your next utility company. The letters should state that you were a customer for “X” number of years and always paid your bills on time. Call the local DMV (dept. of Motor vehicles) and the DMV in your new community for requirements on driver’s licenses and car registrations and titles. Get certified copies of all important documents in one location: marriage licenses, divorce decrees, birth certificates, car titles, etc…Don’t forget the abstract, Home Owners Association Papers, & the survey to the home your selling! (Contact your attorney for more information) If you rent, give your Landlord proper written notification that you’re leaving. Also, make arrangements for the return of any money you have on deposit.

{ susan talks home }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ buying & selling }

SPRING HOME SALE?

5 Prep Tips From Your Mortgage Loan Partner BY STEVE D’AMICO

It won’t be long before the snow melts away and the flowers and warm weather of spring arrives. For many homeowners, this season is a popular time to sell their houses. At Premium Mortgage Corporation, mortgage loan experts who serve Buffalo, Rochester, and Syracuse, NY, as well as Barre, VT, offer tips to thousands of sellers on the best ways to prepare their homes for would-be buyers. Their mortgage brokers also have their fingers on the pulse of the housing market and are always in tune with the latest trends. If you’re gearing up to sell your home this spring, here are a few pointers to help boost curb appeal and overall value:

• Enhance the Landscaping: A

neat yard is an instant eyecatcher. Keep the landscaping looking sharp with regular mowing, pruned brushes, trees, and the placement of beautiful flowers.

• Declutter & Clean: Make the

exterior shine by removing clutter and storing items in a clutter-free garage. Clean out the gutters and pressure wash sidewalks, walkways, and driveways.

• Repaint the Front Door:

Welcome guests with a freshly-painted front door. Exchange rusty, damaged hardware and street numbers with new designs for an enhanced look. 26

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

• Declutter the Interior:

Get rid of any clutter in every room of the house. Clean the spaces so the areas look warm and inviting to potential buyers. Placing fresh flowers and green plants throughout the home is an added bonus and a nice touch for potential buyers.

• Use Neutral Colors:

Consider painting over rooms that have bright and bold colors with more neutral tones, which may appeal to more visitors looking at your home. Since 1999, Premium Mortgage Corporation has been the region’s leading home loan provider. Whether you’re seeking mortgage financing or refinancing guidance and procurement, you can count on the professional and licensed team to help you every step of the way. Just read a few of the testimonials from satisfied clients who rave about working with the area’s top team of mortgage loan officers! Get your home ready to put on the market this spring! The award-winning office of Premium Mortgage Corporation is your trusted partner for a wide variety of mortgage loans and home loan rates. To learn more, check out the website for extensive information on their services. You can also connect with the team on Facebook. Corporate Contact Information: 2541 Monroe Avenue Rochester, NY 14618 (585) 241-0000 NMLS# 3254 Equal Housing Lender Licensed Mo r t g a g e B a n k e r NYSDFS

HOME BUYING & SELLING IN THE ROCHESTER MARKET

The Perfect Time TO BUY A HOME

Find out why buying now, rather than waiting or refinancing your current home, will benefit your bottom line! ULTRA-LOW INTEREST RATES – NOW, BUT NOT FOREVER With affordable home prices and a healthy economy, the Rochester area is a great place to purchase a home. Paired with historically low interest rates, now is an excellent time to make this investment. But with recovery of the national and local economies taking effect, these ultralow rates and home prices are only going to rise! Experts predict the Federal Reserve to start inching up the rates sometime in 2015, and housing costs will climb as well. Therefore, getting in now before the market heats up can potentially save you thousands on your mortgage!

DON’T WAIT TO SELL & BUY BIGGER

SUSAN ASER

Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker

C: 585.738.7087 O: 585.279.8288 SusanTalksHome@gmail.com www.SusanTalksHome.com

Plus

2171 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618

You may think you can save some money by waiting – staying put or refinancing your current home. Your current property will appreciate in value over the next few years. However, purchasing now with an ultra-low rate on a more valuable home will see much higher appreciation. Buying now means that any appreciated value will go into your own net worth, while waiting will simply translate into a higher purchase price down the road!

BUYING VS. RENTING If you don’t already own a home, now is the time to make that investment! A report by Trulia (October 2014) shows that the average cost of homeownership (mortgage, insurance, taxes, maintenance, etc.) is considerably less expensive than the cost of renting. In the Rochester area, buying is 45% less expensive than renting!* Stop paying your landlord’s mortgage, and invest in a home of your own!

*Data according to http://www.trulia.com/trends/vis/rentvsbuy-q3-2014/

STEVE D’AMICO Loan Officer, NMLS# 37093

C: 585.746.3471 O: 585.241.0000 x119 D: 585.363.7067 Steve@PremiumMortgage.com

As always, if you need our expertise, we are here to help! 71 Main St. Sts. 2-3 Hamburg, NY 14075 716.633.0501 NMLS# 1198760/1213669

2150 Wehrle Dr. Ste. 200 Amherst, NY 14221 716.633.0501 NMLS# 92181

Corporate NMLS#3254 | Equal Housing Lender

2541 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618 585.241.0000 NMLS# 3254

128 Main St. Geneseo, NY 14454 585.447.9197 NMLS# 157688

www.PremiumMortgage.com

4205 Longbranch Rd. #6 Liverpool, NY 13090 315.457.0926 NMLS# 1270748

105 North Main St, Ste. 102 Barre, VT 05641 802.476.7000 NMLS# 854380

Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS

{ lawn & garden tips }

CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF... by LAURIE BROCCOLO

Many folks believe that Spring is the time to treat grubs in their lawn, this is not true! Spring is not the time to treat your lawn for grubs. They are too big, eat minimally in the spring and the products are ineffective. Also, moles and voles do not necessarily mean that you have a grub issue, they eat worms and other critters too! Fo r m o s t l a w n s , fertilizer only needs to be applied twice throughout the growing season. Fertilizer is best applied to healthy lawns in mid-May or the end of June. After the plant has used up resources in spring growth, fertilizer will help replenish and keep it healthy through the summer. Healthy lawns do not need extra fertilizer in the spring. It may cause too much growth, weaken the roots and become more prone to disease or chinch bug damage. Only spot treatment for weeds is recommended. Did you know that weed killers actually weaken the turf grass, so blanket treatments will set back the grass which has to work harder to recover? Treat the problem weeds not the grass!

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Contrary to popular belief, old established trees do not require fertilization. If a tree that is more than 5 years old is not growing or portions of the tree are dying, that would indicate a more

serious problem and it is likely not lack of fertilizer. It could be and array of issues including compacted soil, high ph., too wet or too dry. It could be street pollution or a fungus that cannot be seen. Perhaps the tree was planted too deep or has a root strangling it, called girdling roots. If someone recommends fertilizing an old tree, then they may not be true arborists. It is best to call for certified arborists to examine to make the correct recommendations. To spray or not to spray insects attacking trees? There are many questions to ask yourself before making this desicion. What is the cost? How often will it be needed? Will this be an ongoing issue? Can organic or horticultural oil take care of the problem? What would the cost be to replace with a different plant? How valuable is the tree to the property real estate, environment and sentimentally? Move forward with a plan after determining your answers. Provided by Broccolo Tree and Lawn Care www. broccolotreeandlawn. com 585-424-4476.

For most lawns, fertilizer only needs to be applied twice throughout the growing season. Fertilizer is best applied to healthy lawns in midMay or the end of June.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

LAWNS LANDSCAPES

TREES

585-424-4476

GARDENS

Sales Office and Garden Center: 2755 PenďŹ eld Road, Fairport, NY 14550 Business Office: 2059 Brighton Henrietta Townline Road, Henrietta, NY 14623

$10 off your next purchase of $25 in the Broccolo Garden Center

3 miles east of Wegmans on Rt. 441 in Penfield

FIRST TIME CUSTOMERS ONLY* Limit one per household. EXP: 9/30/17

www.BroccoloTreeandLawn.com

LET THE

GOOD LIFE IN.

Get home insurance that gives you more. Your home is your most valuable possession. It deserves the right protection from the company you trust, plus helpful tools and tips like customized maintenance alerts and much more. So ask me about home insurance today and let the Good Life in.

VINCENZO SCOLLO 585-381-3530

Subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Vehicle and Property Insurance Co., Northbrook, IL ÂŠ 2013 Allstate Insurance Co.

215228

835 Fairport Road East Rochester vscollo@allstate.com

{ home insurance tips }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ home insurance tips } BY ENZO SCOLLO

At your home, you rely on having a safe, comfortable place to live. When you purchase a home insurance policy, it should contain a description of your home’s structure and a list of excluded events that may not included. It’s important to ensure you understand what in included in your coverage and any additional options you may want to consider.

Your Residence Type Matters

There’s No Place Like Home. Be Sure It’s Protected. Protecting Your Home & Personal Property with Insurance

Structures vary so widely that a different policy is usually required for each type of home. For instance... • A Condo policy typically covers interior structures like wallboard and lighting fixtures. Depending on your state, your association by-laws, and insurer, external walls may not be covered. • Within a Home insurance policy, usually a home’s entire structure is covered along with sheds and detached garages. • For Manufactured Homes, the entire structure is usually covered, while sheds and garages may require an optional policy. • A Renters insurance policy typically has no physical structure coverage at all, but it often provides essential liability and contents coverage. Most insurance companies offer coverage for the same events that may damage the structure of your home, including fire, smoke, lightning, wind, hail, frozen plumbing, theft, explosion, vandalism, the weight of ice and snow, and a few others. It is important to know that typically, floods and earthquakes are excluded from basic policies, but in some areas, you may be able to get supplemental insurance policies for those situations. A few other conditions most companies specifically exclude are mold, fungus, wet rot, dry rot and bacteria. The best loss is one that never happens … but if you are subject to a loss, how can you help prevent the hassles of creating a list of the things that were lost or damaged or stolen from memory alone? By creating a living inventory of the items in your home…Sound difficult? It’s easier than you think with the Allstate Digital Locker tool. Anyone can use the tool for free at even if you aren’t an Allstate customer by visiting www.digitallocker.com. Digital locker is a free tool from Allstate that allows you to create a visual inventory of your personal property. With it, you can use your camera or phone to take pictures of your items, organize them by room or category, assign a value to them and store them safely in the cloud.

How does it work?

• Secure Account – Digital Locker allows

you to create a username and password so that you can access your account from any internet-connected device • Templates – We provide you with room and category templates to help you get started with your inventory process and create a property catalog • Photos – You can either take photos with your smartphone or use existing photos to add to your inventory for a visual reference of your items • Item Value – You can also enter information on the value of your items (you can use your best judgment, or use the Google or barcode search) • Synchronized Data – You can access your “locker” from the app or the website and back up your inventory to Allstate’s secure data cloud

What are some of the advantages of creating a home inventory?

• Online, secure inventory of your personal property that can help you itemize your possessions for insurance purposes • Putting the value on your possessions may help you determine what your insurance limits should be • Home inventories help you to keep track of your possessions and help replace items due to a loss (and may even help streamline the claims process) • Easily accessible information from any internet-connected device • You can share the information with others, so that they are aware of your personal property and its value • You can print or email a copy of your inventory as needed • In the event of a claim, it will help you prevent the hassles of trying to recreate a list or description from memory For more helpful information contact Allstate Agent Enzo Scollo at 585-381-3530 or email VScollo@allstate.com. You can visit his Allstate Agencies at 835 Fairport Road, East Rochester or 919 S Winston Road, Suite 204, Rochester. ___ The Allstate Corporation (NYSE: ALL) is the nation’s largest publicly held personal lines insurer, protecting approximately 16 million households from life’s uncertainties through auto, home, life and other insurance offered through its Allstate, Esurance, Encompass and Answer Financial brand names. Allstate is widely known through the slogan “You’re In Good Hands With Allstate®.” The Allstate brand’s network of small businesses offers auto, home, life and retirement products and services to customers in the United States and Canada. In 2015, The Allstate Foundation, Allstate, its employees and agency owners gave $36 million to support local communities. Allstate employees and agency owners donated 250,000 hours of service across the country.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ A FEW financial Tips } BY JEANNA LOMBARDI

uSING YOUR TAX RETURN WISELY

Tax season has once again come to a close, and some of you last-minute filers may still be waiting on your return. Did you pay too much in taxes throughout the year and are therefore receiving a hefty return? Did you underpay, resulting in having to send an additional payment to the IRS? Now is a good time to evaluate the outcome and plan for what your return may look like for 2017.

You may also still be trying to decide how best to spend your return this year. There are lots of good options to consider: paying off some debt, using it for home repairs and upgrades, or just keeping it aside for a rainy day. One possibility for a portion of your return is to put some of that money to work for “future” you, to be used in retirement when you are no longer receiving a paycheck from an employer. Making an additional contribution to your retirement account can bump up your nest egg by more than just the amount you contribute due to compounding interest and the potential rate of return you may earn. It’s no secret, though, that saving for retirement can be complicated. There are many factors to consider when deciding what’s best for you. No specific recommendation could be made in an article like this, since not everyone has the same set of variables. 34

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

There are many strategies to consider when deciding to put your savings to work for you; one strategy being to maximize your employer’s retirement plan. Whether you have a 401(k), 403(b), 457(b) or other employer-sponsored account, take the time to understand how the plan works and what your contribution limits are. Take advantage of as many pretax contributions as you can, and get as much of the employer’s match as you can. 2017 contribution limits for 401(k) plans are $18,000 or $24,000 if you’re over the age of 50.

be when it’s time for them to retire, so it may be the best strategy to have saved in multiple types of accounts. Give yourself options when you need your savings to start working for you. If drawing the income you need in retirement comes entirely from a fully taxable account, you have to withdraw much more than you actually need to cover taxes, which can deplete your savings faster than anticipated. Keep in mind an individual can contribute to both an IRA or employer-sponsored plan and a ROTH IRA, simultaneously.

Another strategy would be to use a Traditional IRA, if you don’t have an employer plan and you have a need for deductions now, or a ROTH IRA, to accumulate tax free income for your retirement years. Contribution limits for 2017 are $5,500 or $6,500 if you’re over the age of 50 for these accounts. There are alternative methods to accumulating funds for retirement as well, which are unique depending upon other pieces to your financial life. Sometimes there are solutions that can simultaneously take care of two responsibilities, such as saving for college, saving for retirement, or protecting your family with life insurance. These strategies can be discussed more in depth with your advisor.

Again, work with a financial advisor when making investment decisions to ensure you understand the details of the plan, and so that your risk tolerance matches your investment objective. Always consult with an accountant for specific tax advice, including how your current year contributions will affect your end-of-year tax filing. Start contributing to your retirement account sooner than later; you’ll have to set aside a lot less when time is on your side. The longer we wait, the more we have to contribute to attempt to reach our goals.

No one can say for certain where taxes will

Good planning today could make you much happier years from now in retirement!

JEANNA L. LOMBARDI Financial Adviser Kappan Financial, LLC. Ladies, let’s face it. Men think they know everything. We obviously know that’s just not true. Sometimes, men just don’t communicate effectively with us, and we are unable to help them understand what we want, and need. Consider your personal financial planning needs. Are you trying to communicate with an adviser who thinks he knows everything? Is he able to effectively listen to you, to really allow himself to understand your unique situation? Please understand that I’m not man-bashing. Men are great, and gender alone is no reason to choose, or not to choose, your financial adviser. Your selection should be based on several key factors - - competence, experience and compatibility should be paramount. At Kappan Financial, LLC., our clients are always our top priority. We never lose sight of the one overriding truth when working with our clients - - it’s your money! We strive to earn your trust every day. Come see if we are a good fit for you. Call or email me today. (585) 641-6814

JEANNA@KAPPANFINANCIAL.COM

{ FINGER LAKES LIVING }

FINGER LAKES IS THE PLACE TO BE byMARY ST GEORGE

Who else loves the Finger Lakes and wants to live here? The Finger Lakes area of Western New York has been and continues to be a popular vacation spot.

the Finger Lakes. She is known for her innovative, strategic and creative marketing techniques allowing her to represent the finest in Finger Lakes lakefront properties.

From the pristine waters, fishing and boating opportunities, wineries and scenic landscapes abound in the Finger Lakes, the property on these magnificent lakes is coveted, and having a place to vacation on the weekends just a short drive from home will be an investment that shows an undeniable return

She takes pride in her knowledge of the lakes and the uniqueness of each one. Keuka Lake, Canandaigua Lake, and Seneca Lake are her main focus but she

There is nothing like getting in the car and heading for a week or two of fun on the lakes. There are hundreds of wineries, breweries and even distilleries, restaurants with locally produced foods, farmers markets, boating, swimming and just plain old relaxing. We all need a little bit of down time in this hectic world and what a great place to experience both relaxation and fun. Mary St.George spends her time as a Real Estate agent with Nothnagle Realtors and specializes in helping buyers and sellers in 36

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

selling their properties or purchasing a property on many of the Finger Lakes. She does spend most of her time on Keuka Lake where she lives, but her and her team sell on most of the Finger Lakes. With affordable waterfront property, staying close to Western New York friends and family while enjoying the luxury of vacation living has never been this attainable. If you are considering purchasing a vacation home or thinking about selling one that you currently own, talk to Mary. She is also one of Nothnagleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Homes of Distinction Agents with the ability to offer home owners the highest standard in marketing their homes for sale.

happily serves the rest of the Finger Lakes and Eastern Monroe County areas as well. Her dedication to the area has encouraged many to seek out her expertise in either

It will be difficult to forget your first sunset, sitting on your very own waterfront property. Call Mary today and 315-719-8377

{ SHIFT+CONTROL { picture this } }

IS IT A BUYERS MARKET? IS IT A SELLERS MARKET? by RITA PETTINARO

If your home has moderate to extensive upgrades and is priced right - it will sell right away. There are more buyers than sellers at this time, but that can quickly change. Every seller wants her/his home to sell fast and bring top dollar. Does that sound good to you? Well, it’s not luck that makes that happen. It’s careful planning and knowing how to professionally spruce up your home. So, if you are thinking of selling, let me make a few suggestions:

- Install elegant cabinet knobs to give it a new facelift. Clean your cabinets. What do your appliances look like?

Beautify the bathrooms

-Spruce-up by replacing accessories such as towel rings, toilet-paper holder, and trash can. Top it off with luxurious soaps in a pretty dish, fluffy hand towels, and fresh flowers.

Rejuvenate the bedrooms

-Hang a mirror in a small bedroom to make it look larger. If you’ve considered purchasing a new bedspread, do so now. Make the bedroom look like a spa retreat!

Livingroom makeover

-What color is your living room and foyer? Is it time to paint? Consider neutral beige, browns and greys. I am all about the bright yellows, pinks and reds – your buyer may not have the same taste.

Turn your home into a house

Flooring

De-clutter, de-clutter, declutter

Curb appeal

-Buyers need to picture themselves in their new home

-Do you have hardwood floors under that carpet – remove the carpet! How old is your carpet? Is it time to update your flooring?

-Clean your home and make it spotless

-The first impression is when the buyer pulls into your driveway and has that first reaction! What does your front door look like? What does the grass look like? Does your home need landscaping? Are your trees blocking the view? Are your trees hitting the house? Did you paint and seal your deck?

- This includes closets, baseboards, windows, countertops

Make your home aroma wonderful

- If you have not used it over a year – box it up

De-personalize

- You want the buyers to imagine their own items in the home

Get it inspected so there are no surprises later

- Items highlighted in the inspection report must be taken care of. Why not do it before the buyer becomes aware

Remove excess furniture

-Do you need all those chairs? Removing furniture makes your room look bigger

Remove knick-knacks

Have an interior decorator come in and provide suggestions for staging your home

Rent a storage unit

-If you can’t decide what to get rid of, then put it in storage for another day 38

Re-invent your kitchen

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

-Do you have a diffuser, if so, add lavender and/or lemon? Add those same oils to your furnace filter so when your furnace kicks on, the entire home will have great smells. So those are just a few tips to help sell your home right away. If you decide not to sell your home – think about the feeling you will have staying in your newly “remodeled” home. If you would like a free market analysis of your home, don’t hesitate to call. My passion is seeing people smile when they purchase their first home or their next home. I would love to see your home and give you ideas to make it shine.

HAVE YOU MET YOUR

neighbor? The Local Expert in Home Financing

Phyllis Haberer

2016

Senior Loan Officer | NMLS# 58078

585.314.8511

(cell)

CALL OR TEXT!

585.363.7087 585.241.0000 x104

(direct) (office)

Phyllis@PremiumMortgage.com

Call me today for a FREE, no-obligation Pre-Approval! SHOP LOCAL!

Phyllis Haberer is a Rochester native and Fairport H.S. Grad

Time to refinance? Thinking about purchasing a new home?

Contact Phyllis Haberer today! 585.314.8511

Many Financing Programs Available! CONVENTIONAL · FHA · USDA · 203K · VA · PORTFOLIO

www.PremiumMortgage.com

PrmMtg

2541 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, NY 14618 | (585) 241-0000 | Equal Housing Lender | NMLS# 3254 | Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS

{ mortgage tips for women }

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN A BANKER AND BROKER? by PHYLLIS HABERER

They say no two people are exactly alike. While my daughter Lauren and her “bestie” may disagree with me, I’ve found through my decades of experience in mortgage lending that, in fact, no two homebuyers are quite the same! From the first time homebuyers just starting out, to experienced homeowners refinancing or upsizing, each individual’s circumstances are unique and require special attention to meet their needs. There are a multitude of options available for homebuyers in today’s market. From large banks to small mortgage brokers, borrowers can sometimes feel overwhelmed and confused by the wide variety of lenders out there. But there are some important differences between the many types of lenders in the market, some with very real advantages over the others. At Premium Mortgage, we want you to have the best information so you can make an informed decision about one of the most significant financial transaction of your life. Generally speaking, you have three types of professionals to choose from when seeking mortgage financing: A traditional bank, a mortgage broker, and a mortgage banker.

Traditional Bank

Some people choose to secure financing through the same institution where they have a checking or savings account. While this is certainly a viable option, one of the drawbacks is that the client may be limited to the dozen or so products the bank offers. And oftentimes their customer service, loan processing and underwriting is sourced to a business from out of state or even outside of the country!

If the client would be best served by local processing, a quick close, a 203k rehab loan, or a Rural Housing mortgage and their bank does not offer the program, the client could potentially be losing out. Although a traditional bank has a large variety of financial services they are involved in, they are not dedicated home finance professionals, and lack the incentive to offer the complete variety of mortgage programs that are available today.

Mortgage Broker

A Mortgage Broker has established relationships with a variety of different banks, but is NOT empowered to make, grant, or approve mortgage loans. All loans are provided by third party lenders. The disadvantage of working with a broker is that the available pool of banks willing to establish relationships with these brokers is getting smaller, as their lenders are scrutinizing the credit quality and appraisals of their submissions since the 2008 financial crisis. Brokers do not have overall control despite the larger variety of programs they may have access to, compared to a traditional bank. And more often than not, a broker is not authorized to guarantee the estimates that they provide. If you prefer to shop locally, I commend you! Keeping money inside your own community is becoming more and more important to many consumers. But the only funds likely to stay in the community from a brokerprovided loan are the commissions that the broker makes. But there is an even better mortgage option for those who prefer to keep their money local…

Mortgage Banker

As a Mortgage Banker, Premium Mortgage provides the very best that is available in the mortgage market today: authorized, educated, and experienced Loan Officers, and the ability to control the process from start to finish. Our loan processors, underwriters, and customer service staff are all located right here in the local area! Our Rochester office is staffed by over 70 employees, with additional offices in Buffalo, Geneseo and Syracuse, keeping your money close to home!

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ mortgage tips for women }

Premium Mortgage also offers the full array of home financing programs. From Conventional fixed-rate mortgages, to federally insured VA and FHA loans, 0% down Rural Housing mortgages, all the way to jumbo financing and adjustable rate mortgages, Premium Mortgage has options for all types of borrowers. Whether you’re a first time homebuyer, you need to up-size (or downsize) your home, or refinance your mortgage, Premium Mortgage has a great selection of programs for you! We have a three prong approach to securing financing: 1. We have access to the same programs that a mortgage broker does 2. We lend in our own name from a warehouse line of credit and 3. We establish lending relationships with national banks that will extend their programs to mortgage bankers but not mortgage Brokers. The chart below outlines the benefits and drawbacks of each type of mortgage lender.

The Experts in Home Financing 42

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Premium Mortgage provides the very best that is available in the mortgage market today: authorized, educated, and experienced Loan Officers, and an operations team that is committed to providing the best possible service in each market we serve. Since we are financially responsible, and the performance of our loans are rated by the investors who buy them, our excellent track record is reflected in the rate that we can offer our clients.

Phyllis Haberer, senior loan officer at Premium Mortgage, grew up in Fairport and is a graduate of Fairport High School. She attended the College of Saint Elizabeth in Convent Station, New Jersey. She became the very first Premium Mortgage Loan Officer in March of 2000, and brought with her over 15 years of experience in the mortgage industry. Her background includes extensive “hands on” experience in all aspects of home finance. Having worked as a Mortgage Loan Analyst, Mortgage Loan Underwriter and Manager of Operations, her in-depth knowledge of the mortgage process offers true advantages for you, the homebuyer.Phyllis (@MTGAGEGIRL on Twitter), has the know-how to quickly summarize your needs and find you the mortgage program that best suits your situation and she will guide you through the loan

application process and be with you to answer your

It’s thyme for your dream kitchen AWARD WINNING

“ D E S I G N S PA C E , T H AT R E F L E C T S Y O U R S T Y L E ”

www.kitchenthymedesignstudio.com

BUSHNELL’S BASIN | 672 KREAG RD. | PITTSFORD, NY 14534

Call for your appointment today! 585-385-9149

{ women who inspire }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ women who inspire } BY CANDICE KORTS I PHOTOS BY TIM TOAL

She has helped clients all over Upstate New York as well as the Thousand Islands and the Virgin Islands. Life for her is about taking in the moments and cherishing them one day at a time. Here is her story.

IT’S

KITCHEN THYME!

Kitchen Thyme Design Studio sits in a quaint boutique style shop in the heart of Bushnell’s Basin on Kreag Road in Pittsford, NY and this month hits a milestone celebrating a decade in business! Denise Peters, owner and design expert has a passion for helping others reach their goals of a beautiful, ageless kitchen or bath.

Denise, the daughter of a homebuilder and cabinet maker knew from a very young age she had a love for home remodel and design. She pulls on that experience to add to over 15 plus years in the business herself designing, overseeing and selling kitchen and bath remodels. From simple yet sophisticated to a full overhaul, Denise ensures every client feels the same happiness and enjoys the remodel process from moment one with Kitchen Thyme. Clients can choose to meet with her at the boutique where every moment is spent on their project or she will come to them in the comfort of their own home. Clients will feel a part of their project every step of the way and even after completion. Denise is CAPS Certified (Certified Aging in Place) which allows those that wish to remain in the comfort of their own home as they age the reassurance that she will design a home that will grow with them safely and efficiently. She is also affiliated locally with RHBA (Rochester Home Builders Association) as well as the NKBA (National Kitchen and Bath Association). She takes pride in knowing she has been both the contracted and the contractor over the years and brings this knowledge and experience with her to her clients to help set reasonable expectations as well as to limit any inconveniences that may arise. It’s this experience that has put her at the top of the industry and why she is going strong in her 10th year in business.

Her Inspiration

If asked this same question many years ago, Denise would have told you that she gained

inspiration from those individuals that were larger than life. Now, her inspiration comes from her family. Denise says that her three grandchildren are her inspiration. They drive a passion in her that makes her want to leave this world a better place for them. They lead her to stand up for values of importance to her because they are important to them. Her grandchildren she says, are beautiful and bring more joy to her than she could have ever imagined. It’s these three that bring amazing insight about the world through unfiltered eyes and their theories on why things are the way they are! Aside from family, she is inspired by those who live simple yet passionate lives. Friends that enjoy photography, nature, their landscapes. When she needs to reset, Denise says she wakes up a bit early to catch the days sunrise. This is just enough to give her the inspiration boost she needs.

Aside from business

Business keeps her busy however, aside from that Denise enjoys many things. She is a mother to three grown children, a grandmother, a friend, a writer, and her own home design and remodeler! She is working on house #6 that she has bought to remodel and sell. She doesn’t follow the traditional “house flip” role however in that she has only bought, remodeled and sold 5 houses over the last 10 years taking her time on each individual project whether it be a year or more to ensure it is what she would want to see if she were the home buyer. She does not want potential purchasers to feel like they are walking into a flip, she wants them to feel the time and love she has put into the home and cherish it the same way that she had during the process. This, she says is where her passion truly lies. Aside from her business Kitchen ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Thyme, she also continues this work as her own hobby!

the Rochester International Jazz Festival.

Another hobby that she soon hopes to turn into more that Denise enjoys is writing. She cherishes the stories she would tell her children as they would lie in bed to fall asleep and in recent months has finally had the time to put them on paper. She hopes that one day soon she will be able to publish some of them for others to enjoy as well. In the Summer months you will most definitely find Denise out and about enjoying the many live music festivals we have here in Rochester, her favorite being

We meet so many people along the story that is our life and Denise would find happiness in knowing that in the end she has made a lasting impression on those she has had touched as well as those that she loves and cherishes enough to call friends. Her humble hope is to be able to continue inspiring others through her work and her life. Life is not always easy, but as she puts it, it is always transforming and she wants to make it a point to be a positive part of this transformation process. She hopes that

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Her legacy

her children will remain strong and true in their beliefs as she has and will continue to. Just like her designs, her inspiration she hopes, is timeless. For more information on Kitchen Thyme Design Studio please visit their website www.kitchenthymedesignstudio.com Here you will find design portfolios as well as contact information for Denise and her team.

C IMPROVE OR MOVE.

What are the signs that help you make a lifestyle altering decision?

How do you decide whether it is time to “Love or List” your house? Home Improvement and Real Estate shows on TV make it look easy. There is a magical team of elves working hard in the background to make the clients design and real estate dreams come true. Reality TV is great entertainment when you are a spectator and cheerleader for someone else’s life. It is their financial health at stake not yours. It is a very personal decision to leave a home sweet home that you have come to love or love to hate. Let’s review some critical factors.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Location

If you love where you live and the perfect new house at the right budget doesn’t materialize in the neighborhood maybe it is time to consider a change of scenery. Can you adjust your layout or build an addition to give you the peace of mind that you need for the stage of life that you are entering? Do you have way too many bedrooms, amenities that you no longer cherish and are paying for square footage or school district that you have not used in years? Look for alternatives in your desired area or go outside of your comfort zone to explore a new opportunity.

Condition

Is your home in perfect shape and the thought of starting renovations all over again is giving you nightmares? Then maybe you will want to consider a move into a new home tailor made for you. Talk to your Realtor, designer and builder about custom home options. It’s more affordable than you think. New construction offers you a new home warranty and the latest in building codes and material technology. You can also get into a net-zero home or one that will allow you to “Thrivein-place” as your need for an accessible home increases.

Finding a Win/Win Solution

Did you buy your house at the right price and then have over-spent on personal decorating choices that will not realize you a return on your investment? While neutral choices offer the best increase in value by appealing to the masses, it does not provide you a lot of personal joy! If you can’t see yourself living with

someone else’s decorating style then you may be better off staying put. There are amazing homes out there if you are working with a talented Realtor and are ready to take their advice in getting you the home of your dreams. You cannot wait when the perfect home appears. If it is perfect for you then it is likely on other’s wish list. You then have to be prepared to let your house go and do everything you can for a quick sale at top dollar. Most effective is decluttering and cleaning prior to showing and doing all necessary repairs to be in the best condition possible and staging to remove all personal and religious effects. People want to see the move in condition and value of your list price. Since you have to improve your home anyway to get the best outcome you may as well do it now and enjoy the fruits of labor while you contemplate the best solution.

High Tech

In today’s connected world there are so many options to help you take control of your space! Miele is a leader in appliances with Con@ctivity 2.0 which is a platform to have access to your appliances and cooking technology with your smart phones and tablets. Everything you need to execute perfect recipes every time is made user friendly, consistent and easy to use. Never worry again about a refrigerator or freezer door being left open, a leaky dishwasher or washing machine accidently flooding your rooms or overcooking a favorite recipe. Discover how SONOS can streamline your sound system and music library, Nest can tame your HVAC environment, Phillips Hue can light up your life and

{ city Sense }

by DanIELA i. (DANI) Polidor

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ city sense } Rooms should be spaces of joy! Reflecting all the things that are important to you. Colors, textures and objects should make you smile.

Ring can keep you informed about the activity around your home. Being tech savvy has never been more enjoyable or stylish!

High STYLE

HGTV and Cable TV shows, Design Apps and Designer Catalogs have made excellent interior design accessible to everyone. It has allowed people to unleash the designer within them. Consult with a qualified Interior Designer who will guide you through the process, step by step and help you translate the ideas that you have collected and want to live with. Rooms should be spaces of joy! Reflecting all the things that are important to you. Colors, textures and objects should make you smile. City Sense brings the International Design 50

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Centers directly to you. Traditionally the to the Trade only Design Centers in New York, Toronto, Chicago, Boston, Los Angeles and in other major markets were the exclusive domain of Interior Designers. Some have now opened their doors in a limited way to the public for browsing but purchases require a design professional. City Sense has access to a vast array of these unique and varied offerings. Traditional Retail Shops also offer trade discounts to designer that the public does not have access to. Stop in at City Sense Monday – Friday 10:00 am to 6:00 pm or call Dani for a private appointment at your convenience.

SOLUTIONS

Health, safety and welfare are the foundations for any great environment. The myriad

of beautiful products and reliable service providers available are astounding. New technology and the latest product are always emerging. Tried and true classics and design principles never steer you wrong. Surround yourself with the people who you love and bring your personality to every space that you occupy. Project ideas can easily be translated into your everyday with planning, a budget and timeline that suits you. A great design can be created at all price points. Daniela I. (Dani) Polidor is a Realtor, SRES and Charter Partner with Empire Realty Group @ City Sense, Furniture, Fixtures + Finds at 127 East Ave. Rochester’s only Real Estate and Design Center with a focus on Kitchen and Bath Remodeling. Stop in and visit today. O – 585-347-4900 C – 585-474-5677

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

585-347-4900

{ in her own words }

HOME IS NOT A PLACE... IT’S A FEELING! BY LISA CASACELI

As I begin my new chapter as a real estate agent, the number one question I get is, “Why now? You have a good job.” I have worked at a wonderful place for over 25 years, and I like the company that I work for, I just want more. I want a career that gives me purpose, to help others find their special home. Whether they are single, newlyweds, or a blended family. I believe we all have the ability to be whoever we want in this world, although sometimes life takes you in a different direction and holds you back from your dreams and passions. As I go through this journey, I decided to take a look in the mirror at myself. What did I see? I saw someone who lived their life through the eyes of other people, always thinking I needed their approval. I was not allowing myself to grow. To become the strong, independent woman and mother I knew I could be, I had to do some soul searching. I began the transformation by exercising, eating healthier, and finding my inner self. I wanted my daughter to be proud and see that it is okay to want things for yourself, for that is what makes us better people. Therefore, with these changes I have made, I decided to follow my passion and get my real estate license. 56

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

There are seven billion people in this world, which means there are seven billion stories to be told. Your story is one of them, whether it’s adventurous, romantic, or mysterious; It is your story, and I want to be the one to help you start your next chapter. Whether you are buying or selling, I can help to make your

dreams come true. I am very adventurous myself and I love a good challenge. Why am I different from most realtors? Growing up I had the privilege of living in a small town, where everyone smiles and says hello. Big businesses often times see you as nothing but a dollar sign. I will conduct my business like a small town merchant, I will be the one person whom will welcome you with a smile and a simple hello. You are not a dollar sign, you are a person with hopes and dreams of starting a new chapter in your new home. To me, a home is not just a roof over your head. A home is where your heart will grow, where your dreams come true, and memories are made. In order to be a successful realtor, you must have a passion for it. Choosing me as your real estate agent is and will be the best decision you will make in the world of home buying and selling, as I am a true believer you will get what you want out of life if you help other people get what they want. In conclusion I want to give thanks to my wonderful daughter Gessica for giving me the inspiration to do this. I love you Gessica Rose.

{ in her own words }

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I believe we all have the ability to be whoever we want in this world, although sometimes life takes you in a different direction and holds you back from your dreams and passions. As I go through this journey, I decided to take a look in the mirror at myself. What did I see? I saw someone who lived their life through the eyes of other people, always thinking I needed their approval. I was not allowing myself to grow.â&#x20AC;?

The B r enna B oyc e Team pr oudl y s uppor ts the Roc hes ter Mus ic Hal l of Fame! PERSONAL INJURY I BUSINESS & ESTATE LITIGATION I MEDICAID PLANNING PROBATE I PROTECTING OUR BILL OF RIGHTS & MILITARY LAW I WILLS & TRUSTS

Law Forum Radio Show Sundays 8 - 9AM

2016

Experienced, Effective, and Smart. Personal Injury | Business and Estate Litigation | Medicaid Planning Probate | Military and Security Clearances | Second Amendment Law

Brenna Boyce PLLC

{ platter Chatter }

By Julia Antenucci | Photos by Brandon Vick PHOTOGRAPHY

RESTAURANT FIORELLA FOR FOOD LOVERS AND FAMILIES ALIKE

Among the din and clamor of the bustling Rochester Public Market...

a row of tried and true restaurants -- old and new -- serve as the round-the-clock foundation that makes this local spot a destination all seven days of the week. Here, you’ll find Fiorella, a charming contemporary Italian restaurant that brings fresh local produce, authentic Italian cuisine, and a splash of Greenwich Village flair to the Rochester Public Market strip. The restaurant’s focus is their pizza, made from naturally leavened pizza dough and made in minutes in their wood fired oven. Naturally leavened pizza is a deceptively simple artform. Salt. Flour. Time. With careful choice of honest, fresh ingredients, like smoked mozzarella, local oyster mushrooms, arugula and a splash of truffle oil, this modest dough transforms into an authentically Italian pie and eating experience. Thick and flavorful chewy crust with a soft center, perfect for pizza eaters like myself who employ the folding method. It’s the kind of pie you can keep to yourself and finish in a matter of minutes. While flavor can certainly be as complex as mixing colors on a palate, Italian

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

“We were at a crossroads,” says Alison. “You only have the opportunity to open a place like this once in a lifetime.” vegetables, cooked just enough to maintain their color and lively snap. Finished with a light cream sauce and a generous sprinkle of herbs, this is a spring dish that not only stirs a sense of excitement for the season to come, but had me inspired enough to recreate in the comforts of my own kitchen only days later.

Before becoming the culinary brain behind Fiorella, Gino attended culinary school and worked in restaurants for over two decades. Gino and Alison met while working at the same restaurant. Come 2015, they were given the opportunity to open their own restaurant and they couldn’t help but give the venture a go.

“We try to use whatever is fresh and in season,” Alison Ruggiero, co-owner of Fiorella’s says.

“We were at a crossroads,” says Alison. “You only have the opportunity to open a place like this once in a lifetime.”

For this reason, it’s rare to find the same dish on their menu from season to season.

“And it was a lifelong dream of mine,” Gino adds. “So we went for it.”

Fiorella’s only opened its doors in August of 2015. But Gino and Alison are no strangers to Rochester’s restaurant scene.

Garnering inspiration from their Italian culinary heritage, their travels to Italy, and the local agricultural scene, Fiorella’s

opened its doors in August, bearing the namesake of their daughter. Fiorella’s takes care to source a majority of their ingredients locally, collaborating with local purveyors like Headwater Food Hub and Smugtown Mushrooms. In addition to their rotating seasonal offerings, Fiorella’s is open for market and offers a range of decadent, authentic Italian desserts. From the olive oil chocolate cake, with its rich and distinct flavor to the playful Neapolitan ice cream, constructed from house-made gelato, there’s a sweet treat for every age and palate. “We want this to be a place for everyone. For food lovers and families alike.”

{ rochester drinks }

CELEBRATE THE COMING OF SPRING & SUMMER by JASON PIERCE

Rochesterians instinctively know how to celebrate the coming of Spring and Summer. Just like the grape vines of the Finger Lakes or our famed lilac bushes, we crave sunlight and warmth. May brings budbreak to the vineyards, predictions about when the lilacs will reach their peak, and unending opportunities to enjoy the change of seasons with interesting and innovative adult beverages. It is time to stow your bulky sweaters, trade hot drinks for cold, switch from red wine to white and rose, stock the bar with gin and vodka, chill the champagne and start to think about mixing your favorite rum with fresh squeezed fruit juice. Plan an afternoon or evening out at your favorite watering hole, or better yet get the invites out for that cocktail party you’ve always dreamed of hosting. RWO and Rochester Drinks have a few tips and events to help you get social: • Rochester Cocktail Revival runs May 1 through May 7 at some of the most interesting venues our city has to offer. We are extraordinarily lucky to have access to the 40 plus events focused on craft cocktails and cocktail culture. While many events are free of charge, do your homework and don’t delay. The best events, like the Ardbeg Scotch dinner at a Good Luck on Anderson Ave May 4th, sell out quickly. • RCR week will be followed on May 10th by a unique opportunity for bar professionals to hone their craft with four classes presented by the Bar Institute when they come through town and set up shop at Black Button Distilling from 64

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

10am to 4pm. We love the Black Button Lilac Gin available in their tasting room on Railroad Street outside the Public Market or at select stores like Country Club Liquor Mart on Fairport Rd. where they will be sampling Black Button spirits May 12th from 4pm to 7pm. • Cinco de Mayo provides us with plenty of opportunities to get in on the tequila trend or even try a mezcal. If you are tentative about tequila we recommend relying on the expertise of your

favorite bartender to mix you up something tasty. Once you have discover an amazingly complex liquid like Don Julio Reposado you may never go back to your old standby vodka cocktail. • Don’t forget the bubbles for Mother’s Day- Italian prosecco, Spanish cava, American sparkling, or French Champagne…depending on your budget we recommend Domaine Chandon Rose, Veuve Clicquot Yellow Label, or the fun new Moet & Chandon Ice which is served over ice in a wine glass. If mom likes mimosas spurge for fresh squeezed juice. Mom deserves the best. • Plan a day at the Lilac Festival Craft Beverage Expo – Thursday, May 18- Saturday, May 20 or hit up a couple of the dozens of craft brewers who have popped up all over the region. • Take a drive to “Sunday Funday” at Colloca Estate Winery on Little Sodus Bay in Fair Haven. They have a amazing wines, great food, and live music every Sunday. • Have fun while perfecting your favorite gin and tonic recipe. We recommend Nolet’s gin, Q tonic, a splash of Aperol, and a squeeze of fresh grapefruit juice. Or let the staff at Revelry on University Ave mix you up a gin concoction at the Nolet’s Hip Hop Brunch May 7th starting at 1pm. • Invite your friends over for a “no rules” make your own tiki cocktail party. Get the biggest bottle of Captain Morgan Spiced Rum or Naked Turtle White Rum at your local liquor store. If fresh squeezed juice is to much work, just go with whatever strikes your fancy in the juice isle at the grocery store. Let your guests choose from any piece of glassware you own. Give them plenty of ice and a shaker and let them go wild. Don’t forget fresh fruit skewers for garnish.

• Check out I-Square in Irondequoit for their “Swine. Wine. Steers. Beers.” wine and beer, five course pairing dinner, scheduled for May 25th. These dinner are always incredible and always sell out. • Spike your iced coffee with the new Almande from Bailey’s, a gluten free, dairy free, and vegan liqueur made with almond milk. • Zoo Brew, May 26th at 5:30pm at the Seneca Park Zoo on St Paul St. has become a a highly anticipated event. We can’t think of a better

way to support wildlife than by getting out for a happy hour in the sun drinking with our animal friends. • Memorial Day is all about grilling and chilling. Pair grilled shrimp with a Finger Lakes Riesling, we like the selection at Knapp Vineyards. Steaks on the grill pair perfectly with Argentinian Malbec like the affordable and delicious wines from Terrazas de los Andes. If you prefer to let others do the cooking check out Mochi Grill at Village Gate for their Memorial Day wine dinner Monday May 29th at 5pm. The chefs

at Mochi Grill will be pairing four courses with four California wines including Smoke Tree Chardonnay and Smoke Tree Pinot Noir. All for just $35 per guest. • Plan ahead for Father’s Day. Stop by Iron Smoke Distillery in Fairport to shop for the man who has everything. Any dad will appreciate a bottle of locally crafted whiskey wrapped in a shirt or jacket featuring Skully, the Iron Smoke mascot.

LogoType 1B (BW)

1B (BW), vertical www.mochigrill.com Black: C=100%, M=100%, Y=100%,K=100%

LogoType 1B(Color)

1B(CMYK), vertical Black: C=100%, M=100%, Y=100%,K=100% Red: C=0%, M=100%, Y=100%, K=100%

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ trilogy }

bY joan lincoln i photo by brandon vick

The Trilogy CONTINUES Saying “Yes” when the publisher asked me to be a guest contributor for the May issue just seemed like the thing to do. The request was not to write about fashion or image as I have been known for, but the topic was to be about my past 7 years as a “Serial Entrepreneur” Mom and the effects on my friends, relationships and most importantly my daughters. How appropriate that the issue comes to us around Mother’s Day. Always a beautiful time of the year with spring awakening, fashion avenue blossoming and steering us away from the safe dark colors of our winter wardrobe and a renewed energy. Proud to be the sole owner of Panache Vintage & Finer Consignment, Panache Home & Design, and Trilogy Fashion Foundry at Brighton Commons Brighton, NY. Recently I have been described as a “serial entrepreneur” by a few, I take that as a compliment, but usually I describe myself as: A mother of 3 beautiful adult daughters, 2 incredible sons-in-law and blessed to be a grandmother at an age where I can still get down on the floor and play with 18 month old Cooper Anthony. I hail from the Finger Lakes area where my immediate family still resides. A Rochesterian for the past 37 years, I started my retail career with The Limited, Inc. then moved on to manage Eastview and Marketplace Mall facilities, allowing me to sink my teeth into the “BIG” City of Rochester.

In the 80’s and 90’s, I had a few good years of modeling for B. Forman VOGUE Show and many gigs with Kodak, Bausch & Lomb and Xerox, etc. Then stepping from in front of the lens to behind it I began ‘painting’ Upstate N.Y. women more beautiful for more than a decade as a Makeup Artist. Working for NYC-industry giant Trish McEvoy Cosmetics, I was blessed with a reputation that allowed me to become a sought-after makeup artist in the region over the past 20 years. Retired from the makeup industry presently, has allowed me to focus on becoming an entrepreneur, and launch 3 small businesses over the last 7 years. My passion and recent accomplishments have always focused on femalebased fashion retail/resale, marketing, women empowerment and event planning careers. You can tune in weekly on WARM1013.COM with Fashion First with Joan Lincoln and catch our live fashion banter with Tony Infantino and Kristie Credit from 7am to 9am every Thursday, blessed to have been a columnist for 5 years for the former Rochester Woman Magazine, I continue to be contributor of Image Inspires for Pittsford Neighbors Newsletter and Recipient of The Entrepreneur of the Year from the Brighton Chamber of Commerce. That should validate and explain a few thing about me. Family First is a motto we use often in our home and within our family communication. Family is a gift and the most precious of gifts and home is where your story begins. It’s been a most interesting 7 years since I began writing my first small business plan. Being a business owner wasn’t really on my personal

list of things I had to do but looking back it’s what my journey was preparing me for. My children were entering a phase of their lives where colleges and jobs were taking them away from the area. I have always worked so Mommy “working” wasn’t a new concept. My goal was to allow them to be involved at the level they choose because this was my job choice afterall not theirs. The girls loved the idea of Mom owning a really cool Designer Resale Boutique, Girls + Fashion = Happy Household! As a single Mom for many of their elementary, middle, and high school years created a special bond and a level of communication among us that was easy to include them as a sounding board for some of my ideas. My children were becoming adults and they were able to see things in ways that I was blind to. My 10 year personal relationship took a hit just about the time I was preparing to launch Business #2 and it took my breathe away for quite some time but then the competitive nature in me kicked in and I was off and running with a renewed energy, confidence and self-esteem. THANK YOU Girls! As my businesses built, so did the girls interest. My oldest daughter Elizabeth, husband Mike, and Cooper live local and love the concept of the resale, recycle and repurpose business. My middle daughter Jessica and her Military Army husband Pat and their two dogs, presently stationed at Fort Huachuca in Sierra Vista, AZ is a Masters Graduate of Roberts Wesleyan in their Strategic Marketing Program and is a branding specialist for National ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

“Live life with style & flair... with Panache... Image is our Inspiration”

and many small businesses. She has guided me and my social media team remotely through the navigation of the ever-changing social media world. My youngest daughter Taylor will be graduating with honors for her academic achievements from St. Lawrence University and has decided to stay local and respect the city that we call home. She is a “Home-Grown” young professional that will be staying in Upstate NY by securing her first career job at RIT and begin her Masters program as well. Sad to be graduating but excited to be near her family again, Taylor has voiced with excitement and enthusiasm her anticipated involvement in developing additional concepts to help promote my/our Trilogy of businesses. After launching Trilogy Fashion Foundry in August of 2016 my girls decided among 70

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

themselves that to simplify the division of Mom’s businesses that they would take on, when needed, the store in order of their their birth order. Priceless!!! Beware, as the journey of entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone, just like retirement I hear. My commitment to family first, a plan and community has made the road for my Trilogy of small businesses appear to be a flawless adventure. The “Dream BIG” and “Take the Leap” quotes are scary but so worth it. When it was “my” time, everything from family and finances were in order. I am grateful that my children, their new developing families, my immediate family from the Finger Lakes, and my local extended Family and friends are a network that embrace my crazy Trilogy!

Live life with style & flair...with Panache... Image is our Inspiration panacheconsignboutique.com 585-473-5343 Panache Clothing 585-473-4416 Panache Home 585-473-6353 Trilogy Fashion Foundry

image is our inspiration ÂŠ antonio barbagallo

three fashion forward boutiques at brighton commons

1855 monroe avenue | 585.473.6353 | www.panacheconsignboutique.com

{ o talk with ortensia de loren }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ The “o” talk }

BY ORTENSIA DE LOREN I PHOTOS BY LUSH LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY

THE MOTHER OF DRAG(ONS)

The central tenet of drag is the ability to take on the presumed habits of the opposite sex. It is always mesmerizing to see the transformation. While the art of drag has been around for many centuries, it is within this century drag has garnered a global attention. This is due in no small part to RuPaul’s Drag Race. prospect of a better life.

Since 2008, the show has gone on to produce nine seasons – with a tenth season already in the works. (Several of our local queens are applying; let’s hope to see one of Rochester’s own!) Many contestants have gone on to careers in entertainment, journalism, modeling, and business. Moreover, the show has added yet another dimension towards LGBT acceptance in mainstream media and society. Queens across the country apply for the show every season, but only a few get the callback. And for those that do it is a rewarding experience. Among Rochester’s queens, we have had three performers get the chance to sashay down Ru’s runway: Pandora Boxx (Season 2), Darienne Lake (Season 6) and, last but not least, Kasha Davis (Season 7). My apologies – MRS. Kasha Davis. As ‘Queen of the Cul-de-Sac’, Mrs. Kasha Davis (MKD) has been a staple in Rochester’s drag community. Named after a poodle and a street in her hometown of Scranton, PA, MKD is agal who loves to be on the stage and perform. And she has a massive following around the town and the world. Her persona is inspired by a slew of women in her life, including her mother and grandmother, as well as classic actresses such as Lucille Ball – an actress she admired since a child. Her charm, wit, and jovial nature is what brings this motherly persona together. It certainly is a far cry from her upbringing. “I grew up in the 1970s and 80s where you couldn’t be gay,” Mrs. Davis recollected. As Edward Popil, growing up in Scranton had its drawbacks. Partly Ukrainian and Italian, the pressure to conform was prevalent. “For the majority of my life, until the age of 28, I was in the closet.” Married firstly to a woman, Popil found the situation discomforting. But

there was always something in the back of his head which never wavered: dreams in which the name ‘Steven’ appeared. “My God you can’t be dreaming of your love,” Davis recalled. “Are you sure it isn’t Stephanie?” Finally, after many years of marriage, Edward divorced his wife and moved to Rochester in 1999. It is here he truly began to live his life – finding love and, later, marrying a man named Steven. Rochester is also where Edward explored the world of drag. Popil, then director of DialAmerica, had a passion for theater. But the demanding hours limited his opportunities. Although he frequented the drag shows at Muther’s (the locale now occupied by Skylark Lounge), Edward never thought of doing drag. A trip to Provincetown with Steven forever changed their lives. It was there they discovered the local drag icon, Miss Richfield 1981. With her large hair, oversized glasses, and quirky outfits – think Phyllis Diller meets Pee-Wee Herman – the queen left a lasting impression. Popil recalled how her personality, rather than her appearance, garnered attention. “She’s making people laugh and, through her humor, she has a genuine message!” On their trip back, the two began creating the now iconic Kasha Davis. The honorific ‘Mrs.’ was not applied until much later on, bestowed unto her Muther’s club owner/drag diva. It was there Kasha began to develop her persona. She preferred acts that she enjoyed – classics by the likes of Ethel Merman, Liza Minelli, Judy Garland, and Peggy Lee – rather than performing Top 40 numbers. Kasha smiled, “There I was doing my first two songs: ‘Lime Jello Marshmallow Cottage Cheese Surprise’ and ‘I Enjoy Being a Girl’” Among the cast was ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

K { The “o” talk }

Her persona is inspired by a slew of women in her life, including her mother and grandmother, as well as classic actresses such as Lucille Ball – an actress she admired since a child. Her charm, wit, and jovial nature is what brings this motherly persona together. It certainly is a far cry from her upbringing.

Aggy Dune, the ‘Duchess of Drag’. Known for her impersonations of popular female artists, Aggy needed someone to fill in a spot at the last minute. Impersonating none other than Tina Turner, MKD garnered much acclaim. It was on that fateful night the Big Wigs drag show got its start. And it wasn’t limited to the clubs and bars. Kasha reflected, “Aggy’s dream was to expand the audience – to be more than just the late-night club act that is hidden,” Kasha reflected. “We realized that dream together.” Starting at private weddings and events, they have since taken the show across America. Beginning this season, Big Wigs is now in-residence at Blackfriars Theatre. The demand for Mrs. Kasha Davis has rapidly increased. But with the popularity came a personal reflection. “Addiction is something in my family,” Kasha said. “And in a lot of people’s lives.” It was during her many travels and performers she came to realize her addiction to alcohol. Now 74

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

two years sober, Mrs. Davis is not one to be shy about it. On the contrary, she celebrated it. On a satirist and comedic level, her onewoman act ‘There’s Always Time for a Cocktail’ reflects on her personal life. From growing up in Scranton, to finding herself through theater, and the courage to come out to her family. Towards the end of the show, she reflects on sobriety. “I don’t need to be ashamed of it,” Kasha grinned. “I certainly wasn’t ashamed when I was drinking!” In ‘It Takes a Lot of Balls to Be a Lady’, she celebrates the fun, wittiness and carefree aspects of both drag and life. Moreover, through the use of social media, Kasha humorously addresses her struggles. Not surprisingly, it has been wellreceived across the globe. “What is the better gift of helping someone else through your own experience?” MKD is humbled that, through her appearance on Drag Race, she now has an elevated platform to speak from. Auditioning each season of the show, Mrs.

Davis never gave up. She rejoiced, “I believe in order to get anywhere in life, you have to be a pain in the ass!” And getting on the show was a victory. A touching moment came when she discovered the studio used to film the hit show was also used for some of the earliest episodes of ‘I Love Lucy!’ In Season 7, Kasha and thirteen drag competed for a cash prize of $100,000. Sadly, she did not come out on top. “So many people have come up to me and tell me I was robbed,” she reminisced. “I was robbed? I was given a gift and it has been the most amazing blessing!” Since her appearance, MKD continues to travel to Hollywood where she works on various projects – in addition to traveling the world as her drag persona. “I believe in the power of thinking positive,” Kasha affirmed. “If you want success you have to allow it and you have to verbalize it.” Positive affirmations includes continued performances on the stage, becoming a household name via commercials, and a

{ The “o” talk }

“Addiction is something in my family,” Kasha said. “And in a lot of people’s lives.” It was during her many travels and performers she came to realize her addiction to alcohol. Now two years sober, Mrs. Davis is not one to be shy about it. On the contrary, she celebrated it.

household name via commercials, and a chance at competing on RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars. Of course, social media continues to play a big part in the MKD brand. “You have to be on social media now,” she proclaimed. “It’s your opportunity to do a show 24 hours a day!” Similar to queens of another sort, Kasha believes drag artists are celebrities in their own right. With bigger-than-life personas, people realize their dreams and desires through what queens are doing. It is for this reason she upholds a caveat: to be careful of what is posted online and how performers are portrayed. Not only are adults looking at drag queens as role models. “There are young boys and girls watching us,” she said. “I didn’t have those role models.”

Avenue. Bringing in a variety of performers from the area, her desire is to ensure an active and cooperative community of drag performers. “Just getting us all together and celebrate our uniqueness,” She said. “It’s not always a competition – everybody can be successful.” Indeed, such comradery is what has allowed drag to last throughout the ages. Drag is historic, mythical and mystical. Ancient legends tell of gods who baffled their opponents in the guise of the opposite sex. Shakespearean female roles were always played by men, with at least one play placing drag as a central theme. While vaudeville popularized drag in the late-Victorian era, the conservative movements of thirties forced it underground. It would take icons such as Divine and RuPaul to bring it back into mainstream society.

Despite her international fame, Mrs. Kasha Davis has not given up on the local drag scene. In addition to Big Wigs, she hosts a monthly brunch at Edible’s Restaurant on University

Rochester, too, has made its own drag herstory. Miss Gay Rochester is one of the oldest drag beauty pageants in America. Over the course of its near fifty-year history, among its

reigning queen is Mrs. Kasha Davis (2008). As she and many others can attest, the vibrant history of drag is a continued medium in which art, fashion and, most importantly, life’s celebrations, converge. As RuPaul famously said “everyone is born naked; the rest is drag.” Check out kashadavis.com and follow her on social media (@mrskashadavis) for a listing of her performances.

Kiss, Kiss Dahlings!

Ortensia

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ for a good Cause }

WHY

ONEHOPE? by BARBARA AXELSON

At one hope we Serve + Celebrate every day. Every ONEHOPE product helps make our world a better place. Our mission is to bring people together to celebrate and serve the world. We start with award winning wine and we also have fantastic gifts. All of our products empower people to serve the world via everyday actions. ONEHOPE was founded in 2007 by a small group of passionate entrepreneurs with a vision to make the world a better place. We have created an award winning collection of wines, gifts, and other gourmet products, with every item providing a built-in donation to our meaningful cause partners. As a Cause Entrepreneur & Founding Leader at One Hope, I have the ability to earn an income while making an impact through ONEHOPE products. Our wines are produced in collaboration with Rob Mondavi Jr., OneHope provides award-winning wine with a social impact. Our core Collection varietals each feature a dot pattern that represents a statistic related to the cause the wine supports. For example, our California Sparkling Brut’s dot pattern symbolizes that 1 in7 children do not know where their next meal is coming from. That’s why every bottle of Sparkling Brut helps provide nutritious meals to children fighting hunger. I sell beautiful gifts, wine and Glitter Bottles. (Editor’s pick at Oprah Magazine, named 78

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

our wine one of the best gifts that give back). I am very passionate about my charity causes. I am also very passionate about wine. So it was easy for me to join the OneHope team. ONEHOPE Wine teams up with multiple

nonprofits for various causes, and sells bottles of wine that give back! One charity we support is Autism with our Cabernet Sauvignon! For every bottle you buy, ONEHOPE provides ABA therapy for children with autism, which has an 80-90% chance of showing significant improvement! We have all kinds of wine for different causes! From animal rescue to breast cancer help, heart education, to LGBT awareness. We have provided over 1.5 million meals, planted 83,868 trees and 46,930 life-changing medications to name a few. In additon, we can raise money by having a “CASE FOR A CAUSE” event. We discount our wine and for every case or half case we sell at an event, we can raise 15% to the cause of your choice. Reds, whites, and even fancy glitter bottles! At ONEHOPE we like to say “Indulge. Do Good”! FEEL GOODS: Drink Wine AND Support A Worthy Charity! Lastly we are a MeritBased Sales company and have many ways to grow a business and earn an income while making an impact through ONEHOPE products and experiences. In addition, Upstate New York is wide open and I would love you to consider joining my team. Who does not want to give back and you can do this by drinking wine? I will show you how to build your team and grown your income as a Cause Entrepreneur.

“I sell beautiful gifts, wine and Glitter Bottles. (Editor’s pick at Oprah Magazine named our wine one of the best gifts that give back).” Earn wine, gifts and trips with our company and you are helping the world One Bottle at a Time! I love the company and opportunities are endless. If you email me to discuss the wine, I will enter you into chance to get a ”Free Wine 80

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Tasting”(bring 6 bottle of wine and we can support a cause of your choice). Contact me at baxelson12@windstream.net and I will get in touch with you about OneHope. In addition, for anyone that orders on the below cause link, we will be donating to following Rochester cause.

We will donate 15% of all full and half cases purchased. You can go to my store to explore @ www.viaonehope.com/barbaxelson Paste link below & Click on link and go to Party Exclusives to help us raise funds. https://secure.viaonehope.com/parties/11924

Barb Axelson www.viaonehope.com/barbaxelson 315-420-3538 Baxelson12@windstream.net

{ woman owned businesses }

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Mark and M.E. makes you feel sexy from head to toe!â&#x20AC;? 1775 Mt Hope Ave I Rochester, NY 14620 I (585) 473-7360 I www.marknme.com/

{ woman owned businesses }

This Mother’sDay Give Her Something To Glow About! ***

Glow Sunless Tanning wants all you beautiful Moms to Enjoy $10 Off your next Custom Airbrush Tan. USE THE COUPON CODE “MAYMOMS” anytime in the month of May when booking at glowsunlesstanning or call 585.621.GLOW(4569) “You Won’t Know...Until You Glow” Celebrating 10 Years In Business Happy Mother’s Day!

BRIGHTON 2241 MONROE AVENUE I PARK AVENUE 71 PARK AVENUE GREECE 1343 LONG POND ROAD

{ woman owned businesses }

TRACI MURRAY ROCHESTER, NY I 585.939.6572 MTRACI6993@GMAIL.COM

If You Can Design One Thing, You Can Design Everything...So Glam It Up!

Gloriaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s giant flower love

HANDMADE FLOWERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS I WEBSTER, NY I 585.472.0528 I WOODGLORIA@ROCKETMAIL.COM

{ woman owned businesses }

Reiki by Andrea Healing Massage Retreat I 550 Latona Rd Bldg C Ste 305 I Rochester, NY

Reiki Without or With Aromatherapy $40/45 hour first time

585-227-6816 I www.healingmassageretreat.com

{ woman owned businesses }

Marioâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Hair Studio

ENJOY 20% OFF

YOUR FIRST/NEW COLOR SERVICE WITH US!

1474 Monroe Ave I Rochester, NY 14618 (585)473-8593 I www.marioshair.com

{ woman owned businesses } 35 YEARS OF TURNING THE ORDINARY INTO THE EXTRAORDINARY!

R O C H E S T E R ’ S P R E M I E R C AT E R I N G & E V E N T S O L U T I O N S E X P E R T.

C A L L U S T O D AY F O R Y O U R F R E E C O N S U LTAT I O N .

5 8 5 / 7 0 5 . 7 8 0 7 • J U L I A K C AT E R S . C O M

E AT W E L L • L I V E W E L L • B E W E L L

PROVIDING: Permanent Cosmetics and Dream Lash Lift services

Open house 6/10/17 from 2-4pm.

758 South Ave I Rochester NY I 585.496.6542

SHERYL WESTERMAN shinystuffbysheryl@gmail.com

{ woman owned businesses }

where

style

created!

Creativity is intelligence having fun! 32 south Main Street i pittsford ny 14534 i 585.383.8482 salonbellavitapittsford.com

{ woman owned businesses }

{ special feature } by nancy odonNell

Peppa Pot Jamaican Restaurant Delights Area Foodies

Great meals, just like great sex, are better if love is involved. And especially if the whole experience takes its time. crave, but one that I feel is often missing in typical hair and beauty settings.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Open the door of Peppa Pot in the South Wedge, and you can smell the love wafting from the slow-cooking Jamaican stews and braises behind the counter. Owner Marlene Henry fell in love with cooking as a teenager and fell hard. Growing up in Kingston, Jamaica, she often took home the top award in cooking competitions. It was love at first sight when Marlene came to Rochester in 1989 while visiting her brother during the Christmas season. Even the snow didn’t dampen its effect. “It was so festive, and there was a lot of cooking going on for the holidays,” said Marlene. When she returned to Jamaica, she vowed she would return, and a year later she did. She found a day job, but she begin dreaming of opening her own restaurant one day. During her first year in town, Marlene visited different restaurants. Soon she was cooking her specialties out of her home kitchen in Irondequoit and sharing the results. “People would compliment me,” said Henry, “and I started to think ‘I can do this in a small place. I can manage to make Jamaican food and keep it real.’” First, she opened a small space with a friend, but she found out soon enough that the late night bar food her friend wanted to serve was more likely to be “fried chicken and French fries not fried dumplings or oxtails,” so the business partners parted ways.

Marlene opened Peppa Pot in March 2011 on Gregory Street across from the Marie Daley Park. “There are so many different types of people in the South Wedge. They’re very welcoming,” said Marlene. “I liked the quaint houses, too.” (Peppa Pot’s closet neighbor on Gregory Street is a 19th century Gothic Revival house.) Once she found the space, she decorated the former South Wedge grocery store and vegetarian restaurant with the bright colors of Jamaica. She hung prints of Jamaican artists and landscapes on the walls and papered a line of refrigerated freezers with bamboo stalk contact paper. “I named the business after the traditional one pot meal my mother used to make in Jamaica. It calls for a lot of vegetables including callaloo [cooked amaranth greens], which is something like spinach and lots of meat like salt beef or pig tails,” Marlene said. Business was slow at first at the small cozy restaurant until Marlene took her special dishes to Carifest, Rochester’s Caribbean festival) and festivalgoers asked her where they could get more of her delicious dishes after the festival. eppa Pot’s menu varies by the day, but keep coming back and you’ll be able to enjoy a full range of Jamaican specialties-curry chicken or goat, pineapple jerk chicken, brown stew chicken and oxtail stew. Marlene’s special seafood dish is escovitch which is codfish seasoned,

by cheryl kates benman, Esq. i PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK PHOTOGRAPHY

{ special feature }

fried and marinated in a peppery vinegar dressing made of scotch bonnet peppers. Other dishes are enhanced by a range of spices and additions like pimentos and Irish moss, thyme and garlic. Ordering a genuine Jamaican dinner at Peppa Pot’s includes a meat or fish entree and four sides (plantains, fried dumplings, cabbage vegetable medley and rice and butter beans). Many customers come especially for ackee and codfish spiced with scotch bonnet sauce, accompanied by a boiled green banana. A recent article by food reviewer, Nathaniel Mich, rapturizes over Marlene’s jerk chicken: “Served as several drumsticks resting in a dark brown sauce, the meat was slow-cooked until it fell off the bone. This is not an exaggeration: upon picking up my first piece, the meat all slipped off the bone before I could take a 98

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

bite…the sauce, laced with tamarind and vinegar and infused by the house-made jerk rub, started off sweet and smoky, with acidity and brown spicy flavors filling in the middle. The heat – enlivening but not unpleasant – was slow and sneaky, waiting until I swallowed to bloom in the back of my throat, layering with each mouthful.” Finally, it’ll be a big mistake not to order—if only as take out—Marlene’s orgasmic bread pudding. Served warmed with caramel sauce (eat in only), the large chunk of delight is smooth with not a bread crumb to be seen and dotted with golden and brown raisins. Alcohol is not served, but Marlene invites diners to bring their own wine and beer. For nondrinkers Peppa Pot offers include freshly made sorrel (again beautifully described by Nathaniel Mich: “Sorrel is what hibiscus is called in Jamaica, and so the eponymous drink

takes on the rich red color and floral, citrusy flavor. Generously sweetened, it was also flavored with ginger and pimientos, balancing the sweetness with a gentle warmth”). You can also try Jamaican “Ting,” a grapefruit drink, coconut water, Kola Champagne or Aqua de Coco. After a lunch or dinner at Peppa Pot, it’s natural to ask if the rumor is true. Does Jamaican food act as an aphrodisiac? “Well, it may make you feel more romantic. And there is goat head soup that some believe helps virility. I don’t make it,” Henry said with a laugh. “Men want only men to make it.” 133 Gregory Street 473-3663. Hours: Closed on Monday. Tuesday- Sat. 11:30-7:30 p.m. Sunday 12 - 6 p.m. www.eatpeppapot.com Facebook.

{ special feature }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ rw wine bar hopping }

WHO RUNS THE WORLD GIRLS! by Denisse Dirlam

Ladies everywhere are looking for ways to support their fellow females, right? I found two amazing wine bars that not only serve amazing wine; but are run by two skilled, smart, beautiful boss babes! No question about it, wine bars are no longer what they used to be. But these two ladies took on a venture and made it their own, and have proven to be the top wine bars Rochester always talks about. Come with me as I take you through my venture of getting to know these two ladies and their success as I hop from one wine bar to another…let’s go! It’s a beautiful, warm April day and I am driving to Cornhill to meet Elle Andrews, the general manager at Flight Wine Bar. First off, I have been in Rochester for 7 years, and why have I not been to Cornhill Landing?? What is wrong with me!! Great location for a wine bar with a hip, cool vibe that surrounds the area. I am super excited to meet Elle as I have heard nothing but amazing things about Flight Wine Bar. I arrive a little early and start peeking through the windows and love their outside patio. Here comes this tall, poised, blonde that I assume is Elle. Sure enough we introduce ourselves and as she is opening the door to let me in, I can start smelling the aroma of beautiful mixes of wine. I LOVE wine and was blown away stepping in with the ambiance and beautifully picked décor. Now the actual bar was outstanding, filled with multiple wines all arranged by type. It felt so inviting and full of character; that I can only imagine why wine lovers love coming here. As I sat at the bar; we start chatting about the wine bar. April marked 7 years that they have been in business and Elle as the GM and Wine Expert. What caught my attention was how the wine bottles being served were stored. With the system of using nitrogen tanks; it guarantees the correct serving wine temperature; as well as effectively keeping the wine fresh. Elle is all about freshness, and the love of 100

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

wine. They offer a variety of different wines; attributed to Elle and how she does the buying and selecting. She likes to have a broad spectrum. “I like to have a balance between wines that are recognizable but also educate and enlighten people with wines that they have never tried before,” Elle commented. With that wide variety of a selection, she also offers higher end wines, that if you would love to try but is more expensive than your car payment for a bottle; you have the opportunity to try a glass. One thing for sure; Elle is super excited to talk about wine! Her enthusiasm about the

wine bar shines and her knowledge makes her a rock star! That is why if you are wanting to learn more about wine, you have to sign up for her weekly wine classes offered right there. It’s offered every Wednesday for 10 people or less. You learn to taste the heart of the grape and where it grows. She posts on their Facebook page what each week class will consist of and how to rsvp. I say sign me up! What I did love is their rolling menu. She is a believer in having a global wine experience, and bringing people to a different level of wine tasting. I looked at Elle and told her that I loved her passion and that it truly shines through. I wanted to know where that came from and how she started her love for wine. With a smile, she said she was working in a corporate world; traveling nonstop and always feeling she had to prove herself in a business predominately run my men. It wasn’t until her then boyfriend said; you need to do something that makes you happy because you totally are not! He asked her when were you your happiest. Her answer….when she managed a small wine bar in the South of France! That was enough to get her going and focused. She started bartending, going to school and getting certified as a wine expert. It wasn’t until she came to the soft opening at Flight Wine Bar and met owners and looked at them and said; “I’m going to be your general manager!” The rest is history and this girl is shining with life, happiness and love. Oh and that then boyfriend that told her to follow her true passion; is now her husband! Come in and visit Elle, try one of her mystery flights, or Tuesday is free wine tasting, Wednesday is cheese tasting and Thursday come in for $6 sparkling wines! Tell her I sent you ..shhhh! My next stop was none other than one of my faves – Apogee Wine Bar located on Park Ave. Owner and wine expert, Simone Boone is the sweetest girl ever! With a love for

food and travel; and awesome customer service, it made sense that Simone would open up a wine bar. The décor and atmosphere is warm and inviting yet chic and big city like. What I loved is being able to sit outside, enjoy wine paired with a gourmet cheese tray and people watching. I was very excited to speak to Simone and learn about what makes her space so inviting. I can tell she was very proud of Apogee, her pride and joy! What was her main focus I asked …her answer was to encourage people to try new wines, making them feel at home and enjoy a night out. She has a love for travel, which is why it was important to her to carry worldwide wines and offer that knowledge to people. Now how did this cute, full of life boss babe get started; it goes back to her honeymoon! Her husband and she were in wine country in Argentina; and that is where she fell in love! She knew she had to go that route

and so she did! She started bartending at Wegmans Bar and Grill, getting certified and then landed the job as the wine director at the Strathallen Hotel. She described how much she learned and knowledge she gained. Then as she was setting her goal to move along, the beautiful space on 151 Park Ave opened up and things started moving along faster than she anticipated. BOOM....Apogee Wine Bar was born August of 2014! Simone loves to offer interesting wines to those that are open to new ventures. She runs specials of higher end wine and offer glasses from $7 -$13. Apogee has now become a fave to a lot and Simone says she does have her regulars, but her Fridays are filled with couples and girls out for a drink with friends! Be sure to look out on her Facebook page for her weekly Thursday –Saturday cake of the weekend. The girls from Scratch Bakery have partnered with her to offer Apogee wine lovers a lovely

pairing of cake and wine. If you haven’t tried Scratch Bakery it’s a must! I asked Simone what advice she would give to those wanting to start something new. She said, “well there is no guidebook, so you have to reach out to as many people as you can, and talk to people who are smarter then you” as she chuckles. Making sure you pick their brains, knowing you may make mistakes and getting back up is important. Now this business owner is not only amazing at running her Wine Bar and working it, but she is also expecting baby #2!!! Simone is a true inspiration with her drive and focus and admire her balance between work and family. If you haven’t been to Apogee Wine Bar, you need to call your girls or plan a date! Have Simone surprise you with an incredible glass of wine to end your work week! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

101

TAYLORS

NIGHTCLUB

Not Just Your Average Night Club... there is something for everyone and for every age group! Plus, don’t forget to book your next event, or private party with us. May 19th Tombstone 45 May 26th Give Back Party May 27 Krush Groove Day Party May 28th Lasvahas Strip Show & Memorial Day Party June 1 18+ Party June 2 18+ Dance Party June 9 Hip Hop Ragae Party June 10th Cover Girls June 11th Let’s Get Ready For Summer Expo June 16 roaring 20s party June 17th Ross Entertainment Day Party June 23 Don Q Performance May 24 Sundress Day Party June 30 Cheryl Kates Birthday Bash

3300 Monroe Ave I Pittsford NY Follow us on Facebook

D 104

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ LOCAL BUSINESS MATTERS } BY Maja Millicevic-Klugh I PHOTOS BY jeff gerew

A G I R L’ S DAYDREAM BECOMES A REALITY

There is an old saying that “women make good cooks, but men make better chefs.” Setting aside the inaccuracy of this statement, it does tell us something important about the way that society looks at the roles of men and women in the kitchen. Women have traditionally taken on the role of family cook. But they were usually not seen as suitable candidates for the more complex and prestigious jobs of managing elaborate kitchens or bakeries in fancy restaurants.

For decades, women have fought for equality in every aspect of their lives. And it is certainly true that this overall trend towards equality has had an impact in the professional kitchen. At the same time, inspirational female chefs, bakers and restaurateurs have shown the world what women are capable of. They have worked with tenacity and perseverance to thrive and exert influence within a male dominated industry. Rebecca Kester is one of these culinary dynamos who has applied her unique creativity and style to the art of baking. Rebecca grew up in an old farm house with a lot of animals and children from her mother’s daycare that was run out of the house. She was always surrounded by art, competing with her family in creating the next best thing. Her family was a driving force in inspiring Rebecca to create: • Rebecca’s father Patrick is a sculptor, sculpting beautiful marble and wooden figures in the family barn • Rebecca’s mother Heidi creates jewelry out of metal clay • Rebecca’s two older sisters, Jenna and Julia were/are Rebecca’s biggest influences who she tried to copy in everything from drawing, sculpturing or clothing fashion. It was very clear to Rebecca that art would be part of her career. Baking and cake making was a unique, fun way to use her sculpting and painting background. She took her chance at age 17, where she began making cakes at home and the path of her career was identified. Rebecca knew to pursue her passion in making

cakes she needed to take big step and she did. In pursuing her dream, at age 18 she moved to NYC, to study at the “French Culinary Institute” earning her diploma in Pastry Arts. After graduation Rebecca lived in the hectic city of Manhattan for 2 years, working as the assistant decorator at the well-known “Betty Bakery” and “Silk Cakes” where she created and sculpted cakes and soaked up as much as knowledge and experience as she could. All the techniques of piping beautiful detailed royal icing cookies Rebecca learned working at “Elenis Cookies” during her stay at NYC. To save money for her next big adventure, which was a 3 month backpacking trip to Europe, Rebecca moved home after her time in NYC to a small town in Wayne Country. The first month of her backpacking trip to Europe was with a friend from culinary school, and the other two months were on her own. Her time in Europe was spent tasting and experiencing different types of creative pastries, desserts and cakes. Rebecca traveled through 15 European Countries, visiting more than 30 cities. She definitely identifies this experience as the most challenging, inspiring step she has taken so far in her life. Upon her return home, Rebecca embraced the adventure by opening her own cake business, Daydream Cakes. The world is always looking for the next big thing in culinary arts. Whether it’s a dish that changes how we think about food, a persona that excites the public, or a glimpse into the high-fashion world of pastry arts that makes non-chefs excited about cooking, talented pastry chefs are constantly reinventing the dessert world. Successful pastry chefs have more ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

105

{ women who inspire }

BY CHERYL KATES BENMAN I PHOTO BY BRANDON VICK

“I find inspiration from everyone in my life. From Karen who is one of my best friend and is always there for advice on business, life, and cake ideas, to my amazing parents who gave me the freedom to go for my dream.

106

than just a sweet tooth! It takes dedication to the craft, innovation, and curiosity to develop the skill set that will bring the world its next great pastry chef.

step for both ladies. For Karen, the new open shop allowed her to keep her name Cakes by Karen. For Rebecca, it was an opportunity to start her Daydream Cakes business on her own.

To reach Rebecca’s goal of becoming the next great pastry chef, she started working full time for Karen Osterling at Cakes by Karen in Spencerport. This powerful pastry duo decided to try out on Food Network for the Cake Wars show and were accepted as contestants. They were on their way to LA to film on the Food network set! They didn’t end up winning on the show, but it was an amazing experience for both ladies and a great opportunity to meet fellow cake decorators from all over the world. Upon their return from LA, Rebecca and Karen decided to open a new shop together called Cake Co-op. It was a great adventures

Rebecca’s life mantra: “I find inspiration from everyone in my life. From Karen who is one of my best friend and is always there for advice on business, life, and cake ideas, to my amazing parents who gave me the freedom to go for my dream. My sister, Julia, who is an art teacher and is always someone to compete with and exchange artistic ideas and creations with, and Jenna, who is an amazing mother of triplets who just turned one and is the most amazing mother I hope to be like one day. To my boyfriend Sean who is also an artist with his many guitars always singing, drawing, and dancing who brings

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

fun and happiness to my life.” Currently, Rebecca works full-time running her own business, with Karen next door who runs her own business down the hall, which makes both of them happy and fulfilled. Rebecca lives in the city of Rochester with her wonderful boyfriend Sean Morgan and dog Charlie. At the time, they are planning a trip to Thailand. Rebecca’s style is that she is up for anything and always on the lookout for next adventure. Pastry is a rigorous art and precise science. The culinary pastry industry is one of the most notorious male-dominated careers. The art of mastering pastries is a carefully crafted one. Rebecca is sharing her pastry artistic gift daily with all of us. Thank you, Rebecca.

{ special feature }

Jeanie Smith:

wife, mother, and c-suite power house by JULIE M. MAY I PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL

Jeanie Smith has always had a passion for healthcare and people. So when she saw a newspaper ad in the early 90’s for Rochester Regional Healthcare Association Family of Companies (RRHA) she applied for it. She had hoped that it might be a good way to start a career in healthcare administration and perhaps be a stepping-stone to another position. She got the job. And she excelled at it ever since. Twenty-four years later, Jeanie is the Chief Strategy Officer of that same company, helping them grow from 50 million in volume when she started, to more than 350 million in volume today. Most incredible, while achieving career success and rising to her executive position, Jeanie was also married, raising five children and taking care of her aging father. When I asked her for advice about balancing between a career and her busy home life, Jeanie states, “Family comes first. Work comes second. Everything else is third.” She said she doesn’t have an equal balance between work and home, but what she does have is “an ideal balance for me.” If you think this means she is always at work, she found time to be the basketball coach for all five of her children’s teams. Her three girls and two boys currently range in age from 10 to 19. They have all attended Fairport Schools. In addition to work and family obligations, Jeanie has served on committees at the Bivona Child Advocacy Center, a Rochester 108

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

non-profit that assists abused children. Jeanie has personally volunteered worked with children going through the healing process after abuse. Jeanie is modest, and constantly swings the credit to her success away from personal attributes, and credits the company she works for. According to Jeanie, RRHA helped her tremendously, by allowing her to work-flexible

hours, particularly when while her five children were young. “In many ways,” she says, “the company was ahead of its time, trusting and investing in me as a person, employee, mother and woman. They gave me the time to be a mom, a wife and a daughter when I needed to be there for my family.” In return, she became a loyal employee. She also says they allowed her to wear many hats within the company and provided her with several strong mentors throughout her career. Jeanie says she learned her most valuable lessons from bosses, colleagues and customers. She said she was taught that ‘people buy from people’ and the key to sales “is building a unique relationship with everyone you meet.” While she is quick to always praise her colleagues for her business success, it’s clear from speaking to her that she is also personally driven. Jeanie obtained her Bachelor of Science in Business Administration with a concentration in Healthcare Administration at SUNY Fredonia and earned her MBA at St. John Fisher College. While she learned the academic aspects of managing a business while pursuing her degrees, it’s her exceptional people skills that strike you as a large contributor to her success. “You need to learn from everyone around you and always look for the good in them,” she says. “It’s cliché, but I truly believe that it’s important to treat everyone

with courtesy and respect, from the custodial staff to the CEO.” When pushed to describe her own talents and skills, she says her three best personality traits are that she’s driven, disciplined, and passionate about healthcare. She credits her parents for instilling a strong work ethic in her. “I was raised with a strong set of values and was encouraged to work hard to succeed.” She smiles when she says that, obviously thinking of her parents. When asked about her favorite part of her job, the mother of five says she truly enjoys being busy and she’s the ultimate multi-tasker. “I appreciate having the ability to wear many hats in this company and be involved in all

aspects of a small business, including sales, marketing, sourcing, contract negotiations, customer service, and most recently, strategy and process improvement,” Jeanie says. It’s actually exhausting to hear all she loves to do at work, then she goes home and cares for such a big family. Yet she has the energy to do it all. When asked to give women career advise, she says that “women need to seek out challenges and opportunities within your organization. If you see a need for improvement, make it known and make it happen. “Women need to step outside of their comfort zones and take credit for their ideas,” Jeanie states. “If you have a great

idea, share it and take credit for it!” Jeanie also loves to talk about the company she works for. As Chief Strategy Officer, Jeanie would like more people to know about the work they do and to understand the RRHA brand and their role in improving health care. She said the family of companies within RRHA are truly a “hidden gem.” She explains that there are four individual, yet related businesses within the family of companies. Their shared goal is to improve quality access and healthcare in the areas in which their members live, while minimizing costs. The first of the four companies, Rochester ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

109

{ special feature } “I like to dive right in to understanding our customers wants and needs, then do whatever it takes to exceed their expectations.”

Regional Hospital Association, was formed in 1947 and became the Rochester Regional Healthcare Association in 1998. RRHA is a not-for-profit association whose membership is comprised of sixteen hospitals and their related-health systems in the Rochester and Finger Lakes Region. The Association works with members to attend committee meetings, share information and best practices to improve the health care to the population of an entire region rather than compete with each other. Next came Rochester Regional Healthcare Advocates, in 1988, another non-profit company that advocates for legislation that affects it’s members. The last two organizations under the RRHA umbrella are the Joint Ventures Corporation and Seagate Alliance. They are RRHA’s group purchasing organizations (GPO) that have more than 1,300 members in 28 states. A GPO aggregates the purchasing volume of its members for various goods and services and develops contracts with suppliers through which members may buy at group price and terms if they choose to. RRHA offers purchasing power on everything from medical supplies 110

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

to nutritional food for hospital patients. The companies have expanded group purchasing into all aspects of healthcare, hospitality, education and other businesses.

According to Jeanie, the family of companies offer their members “best in class pricing, high-quality product portfolios, and unparalleled service.” “I like to dive right in to understanding our customers wants and needs, then do whatever it takes to exceed their expectations,” Jeanie says. So between having a full home life to a successful career in healthcare, what could possibly be on Jeanie’s bucket list? “I am half Irish and half Italian,” Jeanie said. “So I would really like to travel to Ireland and Italy. It would be a way to honor my parents, who never got the chance to travel there.” Given that she has always found a way to make time for everything in her life that’s important to her, we hope she will share visits of her over-seas adventure with Rochester Women Online.

A national Group Purchasing Organization with local beginnings. We bring our members best in class pricing, high quality product portfolios, and unparalleled service. SAVE U TO 30% P EXPEN ON SES

Call Us Today! (888) 7 32 - 4282

MEMBER BENEFITS INCLUDE: P O I N T O F C O N TA C T. We do the work for you. Our account managers provide personalized service to help members maximize savings and opportunities.

their supply chain and adds value to their organization. Seagate members benefit from more than 3,000 group purchasing contracts.

VA L U E .

We deliver data. Through Seagate's account

We have history. For nearly 20 years,

Seagate members have had access to purchasing power that drives costs out of

C ON SU LTAT ION .

management, committee meetings, and education, members access information about industry issues, suppliers, and more.

W W W. S E A G A T E A L L I A N C E . C O M (888) 732-4282

V 112

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ special feature }

S i p p i n g Prosecco on the Pittsford Canal at ViaGirasole Wine Bar

I don’t often find myself on the Pittsford Canal. I live Downtown and by nature, I tend to find myself eating and drinking in the area more often than not. But sitting here at Via Girasole Wine Bar, sipping my Torresella Prosecco over a board of bread and cheese, I’m finding that I should

BY julia anTEnucci

Via Girasole is a wine, beer, cider and charcuterie bar that opened in July of 2015. Yet despite its short time in existence, Via Girasole, that loosely translates to “the way of the sunflower,” has become a star that wine lovers and kombucha drinkers alike seem to revolve around. Via Girasole is owned and operated by Nicole Casciani McLean, who works in conjunction with her mother, who owns the adjacent liquor store, Pittsford Wine and Spirits. Talking to Nicole, owning Via Girasole seems to be just as fun as I would imagine it to be. “Before I opened this place, I had an understanding of what wine was, but didn’t really have an in depth knowledge,” Nicole said. So how did she learn? “I started eating and drinking,” she said with a laugh. Along with her staff, which includes her mother, Marie Casiani and manager Susan Matuck, Nicole decides the yearly wine menu from various distributors. Their wines are sourced from a range of local, national and international, and are chosen solely for their flavor and unique nature.

dreary Monday afternoon after a day at the office. The space, paneled in light oak and contemporary wallpaper, toes the line of rustic and sophisticated. As I sip my selection of wines and munch on my cheese plate alone at the bar, I chat with local regulars about their love of wine, happenings in the community, and beyond. It feels nice to be here. I don’t even live here and I can tell that on this small yet bustling canal, this is a place people literally come to drink and be merry. And in the case of the group of regulars, chowing down charcuterie in their celebratory derby hats, adjourn for weekly book clubs. It’s just that kind of place. And in addition to wine, beer, and cider, Via Girasole even offers local Fairport Kombucha. I appreciate this, because while I do love to throw back a glass (or three) every now and again, a glass of gut-healthy ‘booch is just as satisfying to me. But I’m also a weirdo who likes to sit alone at bars, typing away on my laptop. So there’s that. When the summer is finally here, you can bet I’ll stop by after work to sip a bubbly prosecco and flit away at my laptop.

“We pick wines that don’t normally get showcased,” Susan Matuck told me. “So they’re not just unusual, they’re wines that we all really like.” To battle the case of the workweek blues, I decided to drive over to Via Girasole on a ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

113

{ special feature }

SOME INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT Susan Matuck

Susan Matuck is a proud mother of five beautiful children and a lover of everything wonderful, especially wine. The perfect fit for Rochester Woman ONline’s May edition as we head toward Mother’s Day. She began with a part-time job at Deer Run Winery in the tasting room, and then moved into outside sales and helped with the event coordinating at Deer Run Winery. Her passion in wine grew over the years as her family began moving out of her home, so she joined a Wine and Spirits family and starting working in their store in 2012... enter Via Girasole. As Via Girasole Wine Bar developed, she knew she wanted to be part of another family business.

THEY EVEN OFFER A BEER BAR

When you think about the perfect glass of beer, complete with rich, malt flavor and a thick head of everlasting foam on top, you probably don’t think of a wine bar. However, at Via Girasole Wine Bar, they offer an amazing array of craft beer. Their wine and bar are the perfect place to meet friends, or enjoy extraordinary wine and brewed beers. If you are unsure about which one to test, try their flight to help you decide on your favorites. When you need a bit of advice or information about your selection,their amazing staff is always available to answer any of your questions. Whether you like malt beer or prefer something lighter, you will find something here to your liking, guaranteed. Be sure to check them out at http://www. winebarinpittsfordny.com

114

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Greed.

{ mastermind lounge } BY ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE

John H. Beck Professor Emeritus of Percussion Eastman School of Music

Rochester Woman Online: Since we are doing this interview while you are in Belgium -judging one hundred percussionists, how do you find the time to do all you do?

116

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

JB: Since I have retired from full time teaching,

I now have time to do clinics, workshops and judging at various music festivals. When I was teaching and playing timpani in the Rochester Philharmonic orchestra, I did not have time to do this sort of thing.

after Vice President, and then President. I Was honored to be asked to serve for Two Terms, instead of the usual one, which meant Four years, and I couldn’t say no because they were in the midst of a transition and I didn’t want to let them down.

Rochester Woman Online: How

Rochester Woman Online: You made

JB: I guess you could say “once a teacher always

JB: It is sort of like being in the right place at

is teaching and mentoring so fulfilling in your life? Considering all of this, Why did you decide to help Bob Brenna with Mastermindlounge, and agree to be its Executive Director of Music? a teacher”. It’s in the blood of a musician. Playing and teaching are what it is all about. Now that I am part of Mastermindlounge I have the opportunity to continue doing it in a relaxed and meaningful way. This is a brand new technology and it’s on the cutting edge of teaching on-line. It is unique, and it’s not just Music, it’s Life.

Rochester Woman Online: How did you become President of the International organization Percussive Arts Society, and How big is it

JB: There are about 6 or 7 thousand members

throughout the world. I started out as the president of the Chapter for all of New York State. When I became president of the Chapter I hosted the first Percussive Arts Society Convention at the Eastman School of Music. It’s known around the world as PASIC, and then I was asked to be the secretary of the International organization then soon

the transition from Pennsylvania to Rochester eventually you would go on to teach there and to become the one Eastman School of music respected and revered educators can you talk about the transition in your life? the right time. The first percussion graduate of the Eastman School of Music was Ollie Zinsmeister in 1935. He went into the Presidentąs Own Marine Band in Washington, DC. I came to Eastman in 1951 and graduated in 1955. Ollie was retiring from the Marine Band in 1955 after 20 years and I took his place. I left the Marine Band in 1959 when my teacher William Street was retiring from the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra and asked me to join the orchestra - so I came back to Rochester. I also became his assistant in teaching until he, retired in 1967 after 40 years. I then became the teacher at Eastman for the next 49 years retiring in 2002. I am still teaching a History of Percussion class in the first semester for the last 9 years.

Rochester Woman Online: Who

are the percussion heroes in your life, for example, who are the people of made a difference to you?

{ masterminds lounge }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

117

JB: All my former students are my heroes

Marine Band gave me an opportunity to learn about the business of music, the playing of music in a professional environment and touring. Experience that made me a better teacher.

big difference in instructing somebody who wants to play drums for Timpani, or jazz, rock and classical or is being a great drummer just being a great drummer no matter what music you’re playing.

famous for being Steve Gadd’s teacher along with many other famous drummers. What are you most proud of in your career? Your roster of students is amazing......can you talk about some of them?

Rochester Woman Online: Your methods

JB: There is a difference among the percussion

JB: Yes, Steve Gadd is probably the most revered

JB: Music is a universal language. Quality

because without them I would not have had a job. They have gone on to do excellent things in percussion. I am proud of all of them.

Rochester Woman Online: You are quite

and imitated drummer in the world. There are also former students in major orchestras, professors of percussion in colleges and universities, members of chamber percussion groups and either jazz groups or rock groups. One thing I am pleased about is the variety of musical jobs they have. My philosophy of playing and teaching is versatility. They have taken me seriously.

Rochester Woman Online: How did

of teaching are known worldwide, and you often go to Judge, and teach percussion around the globe --is it different in other countries it is here in America. percussion playing is the same around the world. There may be different stylistic approaches to the instruments but a quality snare drum roll is the same around the world.

Rochester Woman Online: There’s the

old joke of the person that comes up to the musician and says how do I get to Carnegie Hall and he answered by saying what advice would you have for aspiring musicians?

you join the United States President’s Military Band, and can you talk about that experience?

JB: Practice, play, communicate and enjoy

JB: That is explained above. Playing in the

Rochester Woman Online: Is there a

the moment.

instruments and their application to the various styles of music. For example: if you want to be a timpanist you must learn the correct way to play timpani and also learn about symphonic music. Listen to great symphonies and go to concerts. If you want to be a drumset player you must learn how to play the drum set, go to concerts, play gigs and listen to the great drummers of the past. Being a great percussionist/drummer is the same regardless what style you are playing.

Rochester Woman Online: The drum has not always been as prominent an instrument for music education as it is today, but you’ve made a difference and helped make it one that is, why is that and how does it make you feel? JB: When I was growing up it was difficult to

find a drum teacher. Most instruction was given by the band director and they could be a trumpet player, a clarinet player or almost any kind of player except a percussionist. I wanted to chance this so my goal was to be a player and a teacher. Now with practically every college and university having a percussion department there are hundreds of good percussion players. High schools may not have a band director who is a percussionist, but they quite often have a percussion specialist come to the school and teach the percussion section. I see the future of percussion being a viable part of the musical community - not that it isnąt already a viable part, but I see it becoming even stronger as composers learn about the potential of percussion and as the world opens up with the internet ethnic percussion is becoming a growing part of the learning experience. I am pleased that I had a part in the evolution of percussion.

118

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

.COM

P 2

120

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ the divas report }

BY kelly breuer & cheryl kates benman, esq.

DINING I TA L I A N S T Y L E : Prosecco I talia n Restaurant and Jazz Bar

This month the Divas took a serene, scenic drive out to Farmington, NY to Chef Gio’s Prosecco Italian Restaurant and Jazz Bar. Nestled just a hop skip and jump from downtown Rochester off exit 44, the delicious food is worth the trip.

Located onRoute 332, just minutes off the thruway and close to Finger Lakes Gaming & Racetrack, this intimate, eclectic restaurant was definitely a treat. Chef Gio, who is the owner of this fabulous Italian inspired restuarant, prides himself with savory culinary creations in a welcoming atmosphere. Along with all the Itailian features, there is also live jazz on the weekends just in time for summer nights and the patio is open for fresh air dining. Prosecco offers several special features such as “bring your own bottle” Tuesday/Thursday nights where there is no corkage fee and a family Sunday dinner where kids eat free. Chef Gio even prepares nightly food specials to delight your pallet. The restaurant opens daily at 4:00- 7:00 pm with happy hour. The full service menu includes an invitation to “ Experience a true taste of Italy-authentic dishes made fresh and served in an atmosphere of beautiful textures, wonderful aromas and great music. Prosecco features a variety of Northern and Southern Italian specialties and live entertainment in an ambiance that reflects casual elegance”. The menu is extensive where accommodations can be made for gluten-free and vegetarian selections. All salad dressings are made fresh and are not consumer products. Additions of chicken, shrimp, scallops or gorgonzola cheese may be added to salads to make a healthy meal. Selections for antipasti include bruschetta, arancini, stuffed artichokes, calamari among other delights.

The Divas enjoyed a fresh broccoli soup and Sicilian calamari to start off our dining experience. The soup was blended to perfection and nice and creamy with fresh broccolo spears. Then the calamari tickled our taste buds and was fried to perfection with a side of marinara sauce for dipping and some spicy banana peppers. Dinner entrees come with a fresh side salad and fresh bread with specialty butter. Their pasta selection is extensive. Penne Vodka, Spaghetti Aglio e Olio, Alfredo and Manicotti are all choices and even some crab ravioli was offered, which was our choice to enjoy that evening. Other entrees include chicken or veal marsala, saltimbocca, siciliana, drunken clams, steak and pork chops just to name a few of the decisions we were forced to make. There is even a large selection of pizzas including a gluten-free to choose from. The Divas decided on a mouth watering steak special with delicious loaded mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus. Additionally, we ordered the crab ravioli. Fresh bread was accompanying the meals. The portion sizes were generous and we ended up with a few doggie bag to take home for later. Ok, well my son enjoyed mine as soon as I walked in the door. All the food was perfectly seasoned and the special sauce was delicious. All the vegetables were fresh. The salad dressings were delightful. The homemade bread was to die for.

{ the divas report }

Important to Divas, the wine selection included their favorite Moscato. Chef Gio also provides a full catering menu. Proseccos can accommodate weddings, corporate parties and special events. They have a stage and even an aisle perfect to say â&#x20AC;&#x153;I doâ&#x20AC;?. Which Gio said they have had couples do a few times already! Overall, Prosecco offers a beautiful atmosphere, where you feel like you get just a little taste of what it would feel like to be in Italy. The food is amazing and the customer service was fabulous. This hidden gem is somewhere we should all begin visiting, especially now that the summer time is right around the corner, and you can enjoy dining both inside and out. Fine dining is often hard to find that includes all of the amenities that Prosecco Italian Restaurant and Jazz bar offers. Definitely, this is a new place to add to our list of favorite restaurants. Mangia!

COUTURE BEAUTY PROFESSIONAL

585.755.4022 LINDSAY.DEROUEN@GMAIL.COM

H { hot beauty trend alert } BY LINDSAY MARIE

One of the newest and hottest trends, as evidenced through social media within the past 12 months is “Microblading”, and it has taken the beauty industry by storm. You can’t go on social media, within the beauty world, without reading about it, seeing someone that has gotten it done or discovering a professional who performs that service. When I started researching about it, 18 months ago, it seemed like the perfect new service to offer my clients as the trend hadn’t quite caught on in the Rochester area just yet. What a whirlwind it has become in such a short amount of time.

124

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ hot beauty trend alert }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

125

{ hot beauty trend alert }

I WA S 1 5 YEARS INTO MY CAREER

and wanted to offer my clients a fresh new service that almost all of them could benefit from. I educated myself through reading and research and was anxious to get trained professionally. It is a cutting-edge procedure and I wanted in asap. It would be life changing for my clients and myself.

126

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

As the Rochester area had yet to offer any kind of professional training in blading, I traveled to NYC for 4 days of intense education. The course consisted of two days of theory and two days of hands on. The love and passion were immediate. The amount of information to absorb and retain seemed a bit overwhelming but I was eager and determined to get everything about it perfected. Once home, I committed to fine-tuning the muscle memory in my hands in order to perfect this service by practicing on “fake skin” and fruit before I started on actual clients. When word got out and photos started circulating of what was going on, it caught on like wildfire. Soon our clients and local beauty community were buzzing about it. Shortly after that, everyone and anyone was getting bladed or they were getting “trained” to offer it as their hot new service. It didn’t take long for the many misconceptions and questions to start to swirl around about this procedure. Still being very new to it and learning so much with each and every client, I took it upon myself to perfect my craft but also to educate people, whether it be clients or other artists. Now with a little over 12 months in performing this service I’m still learning every single day. Just like with anything else it’s trial and error and self-education takes practice & patience with lots of time and investment. What is Microblading? It is a form of permanent makeup that provides a means to partially or fully restore missing eyebrow hair to a near perfect looking natural state. The technician makes tiny incisions or scrapes in the upper layers of the skin with a hand tool, that mimics the look of hair. Once the scrapes are made, pigment is then manually implanted into the skin. Each microblading stroke is applied individually, allowing the technician the ability to control the shape, color and density of the completed eyebrow. Microblading should be performed using aseptic technique. Needles must always be sterile and single use. The technician must disinfect the area of the skin prior to the microblading service. Microblading, although considered “semi permanent” is still considered permanent makeup and lasts anywhere between 6-18 months if the procedure is done correctly and the proper aftercare is followed and maintained. The treatment is typically a 3 step application process. 1.The consult. Where your shape is discussed, information is given, the client is educated and a deposit is taken. 2.Initial visit. Which is your first stroke implantation visit. 3. The “touch up” visit which is 4 to 6 weeks after the initial to ensure micropigments

are healing properly and responding well. If you should decide to never give your brows a yearly touch up, the pigmented strokes after exposure to elements or certain skin care regimen’s, will eventually fade to be almost non existent. Microblading should NOT hurt. If the technician takes the appropriate time to allow the skin to become numb and remain numb throughout, there should be almost no pain involved in the procedure. The most time consuming portions of the procedure include the numbing and the eyebrow mapping. After the skin is sterilized with an alcohol wipe, with the client sitting upright, brows are measured and marked creating an outline of what the fished product will look like. After the brow mapping is done, the numbing cream is then applied and you should numb anywhere between 30 and 45 mins depending on skin thickness and brow hair density. Immediately post treatment the eyebrows will appear darker than expected, but will fade 50-70% during the healing process over the following 2 weeks. Contraindications of microblading include: oily skin, diabetes, if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, if you have had Botox less than 6o days of your first procedure, if you are taking any blood thinning medications like Coumadin or Asprin, if you have any transmittable blood conditions like HIV or Hepatitis, if you are on or taken the skin medication Accutane in the 12 months before your initial visit, chemotherapy, high blood pressure, active skin cancer, or are a hemophiliac. Microblading is not for everyone or every skin type. It is truly an art, a trained skill, and should not be taken lightly. This is your face. If you are considering getting this procedure done, I highly suggest you educate yourself and do your homework. Certified technicians are a must. Before and after photos of initial visits AND healed work are also a must. You surprisingly do not need to be an Esthetician to be a microblader, however, It’s important that whomever is working on your eyebrows, KNOWS eyebrows. Also, an insured technician is a thorough one. Bloodbourne Pathogen certification is not a NYS law but is highly recommended. A sanitized work area and disposable products are obviously of the utmost importance. Following all of these very important guidelines should be a high priority not only for you the client, but for whom you choose to perfect your brows with, the certified “Microblader”. A professional of this new, cutting edge trend taking over the beauty industry.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

127

{ fashion forward } BYCHRISSY MONROE

There was once a time I could afford to to go out and buy a new wardrobe as soon as the weather shifted each season, but unfortunately those days have been long gone due to the responsibilities of adulthood.

I have never been able to understand the difference between a $5 White Old Navy t-shirt and a $300 white Armani T-shirt that look exactly identical.

take two of the items because they weren’t a certain designer in a certain season that they were accepting at that time. I said that’s fine as I just knew I had a gold mine sitting there with the two bags she decided she was going to take. You should have seen the look on my face when she told me she could give me about $600 for the two designer purses that I had spent well over $4,000 for if I wanted the cash on the spot or she could could consign them for more but I would have to split 60/40 with her and who knows how long they would take to sell.

I mean maybe I need glasses or something but I really don’t think I do ! Is it the secret thrill one gets from wearing a label that no one even sees on the inside of their shirt? Is it the level of quality Maybe? Even though both say one hundred percent cotton and nine times out of 10 they are manufactured in the same country?

I took my purses and left the store very disappointed. That day I vowed never to spend that much on any such thing ever again. Needless to say it was a very humbling experience, but one I look and laugh on today. I still have impeccable taste in fashion but I’ve learned to basically “ball on a budget” so to speak.

I can’t call it but I do know if I were to spill a glass of merlot on the more expensive version, I would definitely be more upset then if would have spent the five bucks instead. I’m sure there are plenty of people whom $300 is a drop in the bucket and probably have closets full of these high-priced items, but for a regular girl like me, I just can’t relate. Sorry!

I’ve traded in the YSL bags that I still drool over for the Zara version,I’ve swapped the red bottoms for the Aldo’s end Steve Maddens. And guess what? No one loves me any less!! Lol . All of the expensive things that I used to think I needed to be fashionable, I now know I really didn’t need at all.

My question is how much is too much when it comes to Fashion?

THE BROKE AND THE BEAUTIFUL

Spring has finally sprung! Time to put away those big bulky sweaters and pack away those Uggs in exchange for some much lighter pieces. The malls and internet offer such a vast variety of beautiful clothes and shoes, it’s enough to make anyone’s head spin !

128

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

I have known many women throughout the years who live in credit card prison due to their fashion addiction! They live and die for the next big sale and it’s almost as if shopping is a sport for them. Believe me, I love to shop just as much as anyone else but one day I had to wake up to reality when the credit card bills kept coming and I realized I owed way more then I had in my savings. Things got pretty scary ! All of the sudden those beautiful dresses and designer bags didn’t look so hot collecting dust in the back of my closet. So I came up with the game plan okay I’m going to sell some of these items that I don’t wear anymore and pay off all these high interest credit cards right? Wrong!! The joke was on me when I went to my local consignment shop thinking I was going to get close to what I paid for for some of these high-priced items that I bought trying to keep up with the current trends at the time. When I got to the counter first of all the sales lady informed me that she could only

Yes I will be shopping this month for some new pieces but I will not be breaking the bank. Instead I will be looking for those deals and strategically putting my outfits together with some of the items I already have in my closet. I will not be shamed by these fashion snobs who are carrying $5,000 handbags but don’t even have $5 in it!! I would rather take my Bebe outfit wearing butt on a flight to Jamaica and lay on a beach in my target bikini and sip on some rum punches and actually enjoy my life instead of being the poor fashion slave as that I once was. All of this is just a small part of my story and merely my opinion.God bless you if you are able to afford these high-priced luxury items. I do agree the craftsmanship and quality are usually superb and yes I still gawk at Bergdorf’s window displays and day dream at the Chanel store, but that’s all I do, as I have had to learn self-discipline in the name of fashion for the sake of having food and shelter instead. LOL Just kidding I hope this month finds you looking fabulous in everything light and comfy as the hot weather approaches us. Don’t forget to wear your sunblock and you’re fabulous sunglasses to block the haters!!

{ Tuxedos pet corner } BY Mark Forrest Patrick, CDT VA, CMT

HOUSE TRAINING YOUR FAMILY PET 130

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ Tuxedos pet corner }

House training your family pet can be a challenge and frustrating experience for everyone including your pet. As a family it is critical to be consistent and remain focused on the task one day at a time. Being successful is a primary goal for any dog and when you give your dog positive reinforcement for eliminating outside each time they will learn from your positive experience. To be successful, I have created some really simple steps for you to achieve your goal and to have a dog in your home that looks forward to going outside to potty. The first goal as a family you need to establish an area outside to be taken to eliminate. Always take him to that same place immediately after waking up in the morning, fifteen minutes after he has eaten and ten minutes before retiring for the night. Depending on your dogs age you may need to take him out much more frequently than that.

When you place him in the crate remove his water and food bowl thirty minutes before you will leave the house. Make being placed into the crate fun, exciting and rewarding with a special toy. Keep this toy separate and only available to him when it is crate time. It has been proven that dogs rely on their crates as their den and their safety zone. He will not eliminate in the crate unless it is absolutely necessary. When you are home and able to take him outside always take him out the same door and on a leash until he has had no accidents in the home. It is recommended that you start by taking them out every thirty minutes initially. This is where the routine is important. Set a timer in the home and when the timer goes off, he goes outside.

If left alone during the day and no one is able to take him outside to eliminate, a crate is recommended. The crate must be big enough that he can stand and turn around inside the crate. The crate should NOT have a blanket or bed for him to lay on. When he is placed in the crate it is always a fun time with excitement and a treat. If your dog is not crate trained already start with slow time intervals and build on it.

When you take your dog outside to potty, potty is the primary goal. Once they have eliminated then they can engage in playtime. Take him to the same location and on the same walk routine. If he eliminates outside be sure to praise and reward him with a treat and tell him “good boy” immediately after he does it. Important not to interrupt his elimination ever, even if you catch him in the house. This may create a behavior of your dog that he will hide to eliminate or will not eliminate in front of you on a walk.

NEVER use the crate for punishment when he has eliminated in the house. When you leave for the day or evening, place him inside his crate.

Until your dog is house trained, never allow him to roam freely in the home. Once he has eliminated outside you can allow him to roam

in the home with you. This allows you to keep an eye on him and when he begins to circle or places his nose to the floor…”Let’s go outside and go potty!!” with a happy excited voice. Your dog is ready to eliminate. Another sign of body language is when them hump there back as if they are going to squat. If he has an accident in the home never scold him for an accident in the home. Take him outside immediately and do not draw any attention to the elimination in the home. Drawing attention is rewarding the behavior either in a positive or negative manner. Once he has been outside clean the area with a neutralizing cleaner. Do not use a soap based cleaner this will maintain the ammonia in the urine on the surface. You can find neutralizing cleaners at the local pet store. House training your pet can be very frustrating but it also can be a very rewarding process when it is done with consistency and with rewards. During your house training experience if you have any questions or concerns please feel free to contact Mark at Tuxedo’s K9 Training Camp, Inc at info@Tuxedosk9.com. Good Luck with your house training and as the weather get’s warmer it is always easier for the dog too.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

131

{ Tuxedo’s Pet corner }

MEALS ON WHEELS FOR PETS by GINI DENNINGER

Andrea Miller has always been involved in doing for others, particularly animals. One beautiful Rochester morning before the crowds began to stream in to Rochester’s Clothes-Line Art Festival, she finished setting her booth up and began visiting other booths, as “they all do at some point during the day”.It was then that she found “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program.” Familiar with “Meals On Wheels”, this was a new twist! Intrigued, Andrea jumped to volunteer. Ernie, Andrea’s 13 year old dog joins her on the deliveries. Once a month they go to a pet food pick-up spot and then deliver the food on their assigned route. “Meals On Wheels” employees distribute the pet food Saturdays on a volunteer basis, off the clock. Andrea remarked that never was there a time that the employees were not there and or late. This is remarkable and shows the dedication of the “Meals On Wheels” staff to their clients, by coming in on their days off to volunteer for their clients pets.

132

Recipients are usually over 60 years old and have some sort of physical limitations or reasons they are not able to shop or cook for themselves. More than half a million clients are veterans. 64% are women, while 40% live in poverty. They all rely on the thousands of volunteers donating their time to bring them meals. “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program” got its start 15 years ago in San Diego, after “Meals On Wheels” volunteers noticed often clients would divide

their food with their pet because they had no pet food in the house. After partnering with the Helen Woodward Animal Center to make the pet food drop offs, a sister program of “Meals On Wheels” developed and grew nationally. Clients become involved when their volunteer notices they have a pet and pass this information to the “Meals On Wheels” office. They are approached and asked if they would like assistance through provisions of dog or cat food. If the client agrees, meals for their pet(s) arrive Saturdays, separately from their own meals. This provides an additional opportunity for connection with others when the recipient receives the pet food. “Meals On Wheels” for Pets provides for dogs and cats, but not other animals like snakes or birds.

Rochester, NY. has the distinction of founding the third in the country “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program”. This ancillary organization distributes food to recipients of “Meals On Wheels” pet owners. “Meals On Wheels” a nationwide network of non-profit programs helps recipients live independently, by providing a nourishing meal and additional services like volunteers checking in with the clients. If a volunteer finds concerning issues since their last visit, they’re trained to assist. Imagine the peace of mind for distant-living relatives this program provides.

Pets play an important function in the lives of the clients, giving them reasons to stay active and feel needed. Their lives would be much emptier without their fuzzy companions. One person who can attest to this is Lucky D. who lives in downtown Rochester. He himself worked for the Visiting Nurse Service in his younger years. Now receiving “Meals On Wheels” he waxes enthusiastically about the program and his visits with Andrea and Ernie, especially since they knew each other before she began delivering to him and his dog Jock, a senior dog. Ernie and Jock are longtime buddies, years ago having become friends while living in the Neighborhood of the Arts area. Through the dogs friendship, Andrea and Lucky developed their own rapport and look forward to catching up with each other on delivery days.

“Meals On Wheels” operates in cities well as rural areas.

While Andrea is usually only able to visit briefly with each

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

client, this visit she took food up to Lucky’s apartment because a health issue prevented him from coming downstairs. Her arrival with Ernie was cause for much joyous barking, especially by Jock who could hardly contain his excitement over visitors. After a brief sniff and greet for Ernie, Jock began to busy himself with his visitors, demanding a good and thorough petting by gluing his body to whoever was willing to stroke his luxurious fur. As Lucky doled out treats to the dogs he discussed how much Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program comforts him by helping take the worry out of keeping his dog. He detailed how important Jock is to him, providing company and entertainment. The strong bond between them is clearly

evident. It’s these bonds between pets and their owners that volunteers enable through their service. Many clients probably never imagined they would be recipients of this service. Bringing this home, Andrea commented that she too might need help someday. She would never want to have to contemplate parting with a beloved pet when something as simply vital as “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program” could mean the difference of her keeping or not keeping her pet. After leaving Lucky D’s apartment, Andrea and Ernie are on their way to their next stop. Her parting comment about “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program” was: “It is a blessing to be part of, working with all those that make it happen.”

The “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program” is a volunteer based organization run through the “Meals On Wheels”, a UR Medicine Home Care program. Funding comes from various sources. Recognizing this, the Genesee Valley Kennel Club has chosen this organization to partner with. Instead of charging admission to their annual three day dog show being held at the Dome Expo in Henrietta, June 23rd25th,GVKC asks that the public come to see the dogs and donate either dog or cat food for “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program”. “Meals On Wheels Pet Food Program” volunteers will be there to talk about the program and collect the bags and cans of food they hope the public will donate. Come out to support this worthy cause and see some incredible dogs! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

133

{ Tuxedos pet corner }

878 East Ridge Road

270-5511 Sueâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Creature Comforts All Breed Dog and Cat Grooming and Also Offering Pet Sitting in Your Home

(585) 615.7475

~All Alcohol-Free Shampoos ~All Hand-Drying ~No Drugs, No Crates ~By Appointment Only ~Woman-Owned and -Operated ~Two Locations: Ontario/Sodus Sue Dziedziech Certified Professional Groomer She is a graduate of, and an instructor at The Rochester Institute of Dog Grooming

{ Tuxedos pet corner }

“Training for you... Training for your dog”

Training Services Offered: • Private In Home Lessons • Puppy Socialization • Basic Obedience • Intermediate Obedience • Canine Good Citizen • Therapy Pets Unlimited and more...

Tuxedo’s: The boarding, day care and training facility where your dog is never alone!

Customized Nutrition for your Pets No Fillers, All Natural, No Chemicals Holistic Supplements and Wellness Products Ask about our â&#x20AC;&#x153;PawBoxâ&#x20AC;? to treat your pet Jan Thompson Independent petPro Cell: 585.755.9900 Email: petprohealth@gmail.com www.pawtree.com/petprohealth

11th

Annual

5K &10K Races, Dog Walk & Pet Fest

Saturday, June 3, 2017 Join us for a Pet Festival, Pet Contests, Live Music, Food Truck Rodeo, FREE Vaccination & Microchip Clinic, and more! Rochester Animal Services, 184 Verona Street, Rochester, NY 14608 Race Registration begins at 7:00 am 8:00 am 10K Start • 8:15 am 5K Start 9:00 am Walk Registration • 11:00 am Walk Start $20 for 5K and $25 for 10K before May 31, 2017 • $25 for 5K and $30 for 10K after May 30,2017. • Free tech shirts for first 300 registered runners. • Runners can raise $50 to receive an aluminum water bottle. • Walkers: $25 registration fee includes a cotton t-shirt if registered before May 31, 2017. 5K- Top male / female finishers each receive a $50 Fleet Feet store voucher; medals will be awarded to the top male and female finishers in each age group. 10K- Top 3 male and female finishers receive a $100, $75, or $50 Fleet Feet store voucher; store vouchers for $15 - $40 are also awarded to top 3 male and female finishers in each age group. Plus great new fundraising prizes!

Questions? Call 311• www.cityofrochester.gov/TheFastandTheFurriest

{ badge of honor } by rebecca jaffarian

2017 marks the 10th anniversary for The Badge of Honor Association, a 501(C)3 nonprofit organization that was founded by Rochester Police Sgt. Justin Collins. Even as young as the age 6, Justin’s dream was to be a Police Officer. Growing up in South Buffalo, he idolized Police Officers, seeing them as Superheros who protected those in danger. At an early age he knew that one day he too would be a protector. Although his journey to becoming a Police Officer was not easy, Justin never gave up. Determined to succeed, he studied and

trained hard and when faced with rejection and failures, instead of giving up he kept fighting. He never forgot the promise he had made to his six-year old self and wouldn’t give up until that dream was accomplished; and that day eventually came when he was offered a job with the Rochester Police Department. Collins began his police career working in some of Rochester’s toughest neighborhoods both as an officer and Police supervisor. He found success as a police officer connecting with community members and relying on them for their support to catch some of Rochester’s most dangerous and violent criminals. During Justin’s time as a Patrol Officer, he worked Patrol Division West, working with what was then the old Maple and Genesee Section. Collins has become a

recognized expert in his knowledge of Westside gangs and was later transferred to the Tactical Unit where he continued his work with violent offenders and local gang members. Collins was promoted to Sergeant in 2010. He is currently assigned to the Department’s Headquarters, Technical Services Division, where he is responsible for managing over 60 officers and civilians who work in various integral units within the section. These units include Headquarters, City Records, Accidents Records, Paralegals, and the Auto Pound. Collins has been the recipient of many awards including Officer of the Month and Excellent Public Service awards numerous times. As well as the Henry Jensen Memorial in 2008 for being one of his departments “Unsung Heroes” for his endless hours of community outreach and outstanding police ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

139

{ badge of honor } As many of you know the work of a Police Officer is a 24-hour job. Through the years the need for the Badge Of Honor Association and its many supporters has grown so much that leading this organization has in turn, also become a 24-hour a day hour operation.

work. Just last year he was recognized as ne of the five 2016 ESL Jefferson Awards. Collins is the driving force behind the 2010 resurgence of the Rochester Police Activities League, a volunteer organization that connects youth and police through community activities. As this groupâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s leader; Collins has made it his purpose to build bridges and improve relationships between youth and Police of the City of Rochester. 140

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Since Collins began with PAL, he and his team have hosted over 50 events to include reading engagements, basketballs games, hospital events, Shop with a Cop, to name a few. Collins in his time managing PAL has literally united thousands of youth with hundred of Rochester police officers. Collins believes very strongly that cops spending time with youth will go a long way to building bridges for his department and police officers across Monroe County in the future.

The Bob Johnson Chevrolet Nissan Websmart Policemanâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Ball to benefit the Badge of Honor Association will be a night to remember on Saturday, May 20th at the Joseph Floreano Riverside Convention Center. For more information or to purchase your tickets visit: www.badgeofhonorassociation.com

{ on the way up }

Struttin on the Catwalk: Toni beth weasner by cheryl kates-benman, esq. i photos by brandon vick photography

As early as 13-years-old, Toni Beth Weasner started event planning with an event for B.O.C.E.S. Her career was a life-long love. Toni enjoys working part-time at Panache Vintage and Consignment (a fashionistas playground). In 2014, after planning some events on the side, she gained the courage to become an entrepreneur and opened Toni Events. 3 years later, Toni has planned a multitude of events for the private and not-for-profit sectors. One of her first shows was for Rochester Woman Magazine at Eastview Mall. Toni is the woman behind the runway. She is the person who puts it all together for many in Rochester when they are planning a fashion extravaganza. From Lord and Taylor, to the annual Rochester Young Women’s College Prep School charity benefit, to Fashion week of Rochester, NY (event manager and troubleshooter), Toni is the woman who makes it all set it off without a glitch. The 8th annual Fashion week in Rochester is already up and running, scheduled to take place October 1014, 2017 for the Center for Youth. Last year, fashion week raised $ 400,000 after expenses according to the Center’s website in which funds are used for operating expenses (1). Toni didn’t expose any secrets for us of what to expect this year so we will have to wait and see. Toni feels planning fashion shows are the best part of her job but she also enjoys the not-for-profit luncheons, charitable events and weddings, although they are very emotional. She recalls after the big Rochester Woman Magazine show crying because it was an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment after seeing how well the fruits of her labor paid off. Rochester Fashion week is also a great time. She is often relieved when the week is over as it is straining running back –to-back shows but she would not change being involved for anything. People do not recognize the amount of work which goes into all of the shows. It is a tedious process requiring massive organization, 142

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

setting up model’s fittings, and scheduling boutiques. People only see the glitzy side of the fashion industry, the pretty girls, wearing fancy clothes strutting their stuff down the runway. Toni describes most of it as sitting behind a computer. The planning is the most tedious process. Working with volunteers as many of the events are for charity is often challenging. You can only expect so much from someone who is not being compensated for their work. After all the hard work, a great show comes out of it. In the end the glamour, lights, camera, action make for an enjoyable evening often for a good cause. One of the most cherishing things about Toni’s endeavors is that she is able to work alongside her daughter Erin. She loves watching Erin, a plus-sized model shine when she is on the

runway. Erin also works as Toni’s right-hand and she has grown to rely on her. She is proud as she sees the growth and development in her daughter’s work skills and ethics as she continues developing and learning in the industry. She feels that often she is hard on Erin and raises the bar because it is her daughter. The spring fashion trends are interesting. The off the shoulder dress seems to be a big hit when the maxi dress looks like it is maxing out. Cropped pants, florals and tribal designs are in large demand. People are also seeing stripes in the summer wardrobe attire. Boho chic is also a favored look. On the other side in the not-for-profit sector, Toni is currently working for Judicial Process Commission (JPC) planning their 45th annual fundraising luncheon. This is the third luncheon Toni has worked on for the organization. JPC is a grass roots organization which works with ex-offenders assisting with re-entry. The philosophy of this organization is through their efforts they will assist in creating a non-violent community believing in a fair justice system for all (2). The luncheon date is June 15, 2017 at the Temple B’rith Kodesh 2131 Elmwood Avenue featuring Thearthur Duncan. Duncan is the author of the book Felon-Attorney which tells his story. The once felon, rose above, was given a second chance and is now an attorney. Toni Beth Weasner is a woman of substance who inspires others to strive for greatness. She finds beauty in everything and then presents it to the world. This is the woman behind the catwalk. The behind-the–scenes genius who makes the runway come to life. She creates memories, on the day which will never be forgotten, the day planned by Toni Events. Resources (1) The Center for Youth Services (2017). retrieved April 25, 2017, from http//www. fashionweekofrochester.org/ (2) Judicial Process Commission (2017). retrieved April 25, 2017, from www.rocjpc.org

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

143

144

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

One of the most cherishing things about Toniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s endeavors is that she is able to work alongside her daughter Erin. She loves watching Erin, a plus-sized model shine when she is on the runway. Erin also works as Toniâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s right-hand and she has grown to rely on her. She is proud as she sees the growth and development in her daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s work skills and ethics as she continues developing and learning in the industry. She feels that often she is hard on Erin and raises the bar because it is her daughter.

Sandy Arena Photography Light Seeker Believer Multi-Media Storyteller

M A MOTHERS BY SANDY ARENA

A MOTHER’S MANY EMOTIONS

“My inherent belief is that motherhood is pious, and I am humbled by it.” Madhur Bhandarkar, Film Director, Writer, Producer

As a writer, photographer and filmmaker who has documented the role of motherhood over many years, and also as the mother of 10 children (three biological, two adopted, three miscarried and two regretfully aborted), I consider myself somewhat of an expert on the honor, high calling and sometimes heartbreak that is motherhood. What has been consistent in all of my life experiences, work and the opportunities I have had to peak into the hearts, minds and relationships of mothers and children over the years, is that motherhood evokes emotions that can be as numerous as the grains of sand on the beach, as endless as the stars on a clear summer night, and as polar opposite in response as the east is from the west. I offer a small and humble photographic journey here of some of the moms and mom

stories I have known that is far from complete, because after all, how do you fully capture the tears, years, yearnings and learnings of a woman’s most sacred places as it pertains to the children of her heart? It could be a gallery that would never end. Motherhood is ageless, timeless and universal. It is black. It is white. It is empty. It is full. It is happy. It is sad. It is ugly. It is beautiful. It is raw. It is stark. It is heart wrenching. It is heart fulfilling. It is all of this and more on any given day, all wrapped up in one, or not at all. My hope is that as you see these pictures and imagine the stories behind them as they relate to your own understanding, viewpoint and pursuit of motherhood, that you will be inspired.

Sandy Arena

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

147

Nicole poses with some of the 56 children from an orphanage in Africa. Nicole â&#x20AC;&#x201C; mom to four children here in the US â&#x20AC;&#x201C; grows her motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heart by frequently traveling from Rochester to Africa to be with these kids, and to arrange for support packages, finances, sponsorships, and missions to the betterment of the children.

ADOPTION

A teen mom poses with her baby.

BRAVERY

FEAR

One pregnancy test can evoke many responses depending on a motherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s perspective.

ELATION

DEVAST

TATION

FUN

HOME BIRTH

NURTURE

The same mom who posed with her stillborn daughterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s ashes, nurses baby number five as a testimony of the power of time and faith in the journey towards healing in the wake of unthinkable loss.

GRIEF

A mom grieves over her son who died from childhood cancer. She said: “They say the hardest part of being a mother is when your child grows up. They are wrong. It is when your child doesn’t.”

HOPE A mom with a terminal brain cancer diagnosis huddles and poses with her husband and eight children as a witness to their unshakable peace in the midst of medical trials and uncertainty. They say their true joy comes only from faith in Jesus. A rainbow light as seen on this photo naturally appeared on many of the photos taken that day.

LEGACY

Rochester residents Jessica Shanahan and her mother Carol Crossed promote the legacy of Susan B. Anthony at her Rochester gravesite and through their work for mothers and children’s rights at the Susan B. Anthony Birthplace Museum in Adams, MA, the site of where America’s greatest heroine was born. Carol purchased the homestead in 2006, and after four years and nearly $900,000 raised for its restoration, opened it as a museum in 2010. The ‘Votes for Women’ pin is an authentic 100 year old piece of suffrage jewelry. It was a gift to Carol by her husband Richard upon completion of the museum. The museum has replicas of the piece - recreated by local metalworkers - for sale in the museum gift shop.

STRONG

REGRET

WORK

In Memory Of Crystal 1996-2012

A { her edge }

by CHERYL L. KATES-BENMAN

Her organization held the first annual “Music and Sports Award Ceremony” at Edison Career and Technology High School. Ms. Cornelius likes to recognize people for their accomplishments and at this event her focus was on the kids. “All Women Rock” has extended its arms in recognizing the youth who are going above and beyond to make a difference in their journey of life. Cornelius’ believes embracing the youth has a ritualistic effect in bringing fullness to the organization. The children are our future!”

ALL WOMEN ROCK WITH TONYA CORNELIUS AND NOW KIDS TOO.

On April 8, 2017, Tonya Cornelius founder of All Women Rock gave back to the community.

176

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

What a room full of talent! Rebekah Boykins hosted the event. Performances included India Wofford rapping her song “Dreams and Nightmares”. Bianca Beckley graced the stage performing spoken word poetry. Baylee Morrison belted out her song “Discommunication”. The kids performed some dance moves. We can’t forget Dj Kharismatik Sound. One young man transformed into a human beatbox (Jevon Singletary). Other performers included Latoris Thomas and Breydan Beckley. The ceremony was amazing to watch and all of the children who participated deserved the recognition.

Ms. Cornelius founded “All Women Rock” because she herself felt counted out throughout her life as always an outcast. She wanted to create a forum where all women were celebrated. “I wanted to recognize other women who were the unsung heroes but who were overlooked as well”. Tonya did a lot of soul searching to find her purpose in life. Through “ All Women Rock” Tonya tries to do meaningful things in the community. Two of the additional projects they work on include sponsoring a young lady for her prom (All Women Rock Prom Prince/Princess) and a Christmas Celebration where the organization provides gifts for underprivileged families. Tonya, as a homeless, pregnant teenager started off her young life in a world of chaos. Tonya was ashamed of her past and this made her an introverted but extraverted person. Growing up in a verbally and physically abusive home, with a parent who was an alcoholic contributed to Tonya’s feelings the world was an object of rejection. Lacking a high school diploma increased her struggle. Determined to never give up, Tonya rose above the obstacles she faced. She obtained her HSE and continued on to Monroe Community College where she is now a student in Health Studies concentrating on Healthcare Administration. Going back to school as an adult is hard enough. Tonya chose health services due to

her experience of losing family members. She enjoys helping people so she thought this field would be a great fit. Education is the key to opening doors. Part of Tonya’s choice to go back to school was contributed to the fact she wanted to relay a message to the kids that it was never too late. Growing up Tonya felt “It seemed no matter how much I wanted to fit in I knew I was different from some I embraced as my inner circle of friends. My mission for “All Women Rock” is simply to let all women know they are created equal in the eyesight of God. No one woman is greater or lesser than another. If we can unite as women and develop this mindset, together we will all be women who rock”. In the future, Cornelius plans to expand beyond New York State and will continue to spread her message everywhere indicating “We don’t see race, creed or color. It’s strictly women empowering other women”. Motherhood is usually a joyous celebration of life for people having their first child. Tonya’s experience was much different. She found herself as a homeless, pregnant teen whose mother threw her out of the house. Tonya never witnessed what a good mother looked like as her upbringing was tainted with a woman who used alcohol to get through each day. “I had to learn to be a mother. Being a homeless teenager did not make motherhood joyous as I worried each day how I was going to provide for my child. Becoming a mother was that much more challenging as I had no example to structure what being a mother was. I learned as I went and through the challenges and mistakes I began to know what worked and what didn’t. I was able to know what I didn’t want to do and this helped me grow and maintain an unbreakable bond with my daughters”. “All Women Rock” is planning the annual awards ceremony recognizing women who deserve to be honored for their dedication and commitment to their communities. Among the honorees are Rochester Woman Online’s own Kelly Breuer and Cheryl L. Kates-Benman Esq. As women who work tirelessly to celebrate women who inspire others the pair were a great fit. Additional honorees include Jackie Snowden Brown, Assunta Wilson, Loretha Caruthers, Cluster M. Harris, Cherry Almedino, Roni Turner and Natalie Sheppard. The event is scheduled this year at Woodcliff on October 27, 2017. The event includes a fashion show. Tickets are available through Tonya Cornelius (Facebook) 585-537-8680..

{ rochester minimalists }

REDUCING FOOD WASTE THROUGH COMPOSTING by amy cavalier

Join the Rochester Minimalists on Tuesday, May 9 from 6:-00-8:00 p.m. at the Coffee Connection at the Greenhouse Cafe, 2271 E Main St, Rochester, New York 14609. There will be a demonstration on in-home composting by Amber Powers, a passionate supporter of the environmental justice movement in Rochester, followed by a presentation from Community Composting, a curbside composting service in Rochester.

Turn scraps into paydirt!

Don’t pitch those food scraps. Set up an at-home compost system! -Get three rubber storage totes and one lid. Wash the containers and dry overnight. -Drill several ⅛-inch holes in the bottom and sides of two of totes. -The container without holes will be used to catch liquid. Fill it with rocks to ensure a four-inch clearing between the bottom tote and the first worm bed. -Prepare a worm bed in one of the totes with holes using newspaper clippings, coffee grinds or straw, topped off with soil. Sprinkle water on the bedding to create a moist environment. Allow it to soak in for 24 hours before adding worms. -Check online or with your local gardening club to obtain worms. -Add worms to the worm bed along with food scraps in the corners. Keep the compost covered to prevent light from getting in and to keep the compost moist. -Fill with food scraps over time. 178

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Avoid dairy, meat or fish products, animal feces or excessive citrus or oily scraps. When the first tray is full of composted matter, remove the worms and use the soil in your plants. -Prepare another worm bed tray, add worms and start the process over. -Leaves and yard clippings can be easily composted outdoors in a wooden bin, old car tires, or a large wire mesh panel zip-tied into a ring.

Waste not, want not

Learning to love leftovers could save you a pretty penny. Before you scrap those potato peels, try soaking them in water, tossing them in olive oil, adding a pinch of sea salt and baking them in the oven for a crispy treat. How about those those berries you didn’t finish? Toss them in the freezer for a smoothie later. “If someone has spent the resources and done the work to grow food, it should not be wasted,” said Elizabeth Henderson, an organic farmer in Newark, New York. It’s estimated that Americans waste $165 billion dollars in food each year. That costs the average American family of four anywhere from $1,365 to $2,275, estimates the Natural Resources Defense Council (NRDC). From the grocery store to the plate all the way to the garbage, there are ways you can save money and help reduce food waste.

Don’t judge a vegetable by its shape

About seven percent of food never leaves the farm because it doesn’t meet the standard for shape and color, according to a report by the NRDC. Still another $15 billion worth of unsold fruits and vegetables alone are thrown out each year at the store, estimates the United States Department of Agriculture. “We have created a monster by purchasing and displaying only pristine foods and now customers expect it,” said Tricia Banks. Banks oversees Flower City Pickers Mission which collects

about 3,000 pounds of food each week at the City of Rochester Public Market in New York. The food is donated to over 20 shelters and soup kitchens or to local farmers for their pigs. “I think grocers would love the opportunity to sell less beautiful food, but are afraid that they would lose customers,” Banks added. “It may also end up being more work for them since some of these foods may have a shorter shelf life and they would have to rotate their product more often.” Don’t overlook that crooked carrot, oddlyshaped head of broccoli or blemished tomato though, said Henderson. Sometimes farms will sell imperfect produce at a discount which can still be cooked, made into sauce or frozen once you cut out damaged areas.

Shop Cooperatively

Where you shop can also make a difference in reducing food waste. At Abundance Food Co-op, a cooperatively owned grocery store in

Rochester, New York, food sustainability and minimizing waste is essential to their business. “Our shoppers and owners believe food matters; how it’s grown or made, how it tastes and how it impacts the world around us,” said Chris Whitebell, Marketing and Outreach Manager. Abundance offers produce that is not as fresh as the standard selection at a reduced price. “Most of the time the produce is perfectly edible and tasty, but might not look very pretty,” he said. “It’s a great way to get high quality, organic produce for a low price.” Anything that doesn’t get sold goes to the staff to take home or to Community Composting which turns the food waste into soil for Rochester gardens. Henderson was the founder of Peacework Organic Community Supported Agriculture, one of the oldest CSA’s in the country. Along with

their share of vegetables each season, Peacework members receive information about short and long-term storage and use of food. Anything that doesn’t get picked up goes to a local soup kitchen and a program which teaches youth about the importance of a localized community food system. “None of our food goes to waste,” she said.

Rethinking leftovers

Freezing, preserving, dehydrating are a few ways to keep food out of the trash. Besides peppers and berries, produce should be blanched before freezing, Henderson advises. Vegetable peels or bones from meat can be boiled in water to make broth. Potato and sweet potato skins or left over kale can be made into chips. “All kinds of interesting chips are made from vegetables,” she said. Whitebell said it’s also good to learn to love and anticipate leftovers!

{ tea for two }

AFTERNOON TEA... AND ROSE byJOSEPHINE MATELA

During the past twelve years The Red Bird has been very fortunate to have met many fabulous people. When I think of that I think of Rose. Rose came to the Red Bird one day for Afternoon Tea with her lovely daughter Patricia. As Rose and Patricia took their seats at the table set with the appropriate tea accoutrements, white tablecloth and white napkins I knew that this would not be just any Afternoon Tea. Rose was dressed impeccably in a soft

180

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

green dress, her eyes sparkling and her every movement in sync with the ritual of taking tea. Her upswept hair framed her cheerful smile and her voice was sweet and breathless as she made conversation with her daughter. Being the hostess that I am, I waited until the conversation broke to intercede and introduce myself. Rose and I immediately fell into a conversation about cucumber sandwiches and to my surprise I was given a lesson on the spot on making them.

You see Rose, famous for her Afternoon Teas, was gracious in giving me her secret to those wonderful traditional Afternoon Tea sandwiches. That was the beginning of Afternoon Tea with Rose as she then frequented the Red Bird for quite a few years until she died. I keep her secret of the cucumber sandwiches close to my heart and every time I make them I think of her. Thanks Rose you taught me well!

Fresh, farm to table. Just good food. Only at the Red Bird The Red Bird

Café • Bakery • Gifts

25 Main St., Brockport • 637-3340 Lunch Served Daily 11-2; Mon.-Sat. 10-5:30

www.redbirdcafeandgiftshop.com

Like us on

Hours for lunch as follows 11-2; Café open til 5

Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte.

Intimate Bridal and Baby Showers Catering

D { law and hip hop } by CHERYL KATES-BENMAN, esq.

I like being around people with the “I can do it” spirit”.

“As for being a plus-sized woman, -well… within the belly dancing community, I don’t think I am so harshly judged. It is pretty amazing though to be able to break the stereotypical, pre-conceived notions of people. I love it when a student comes in and feels comfortable because I am not 5’2 and 105 lbs. The remark I hear the most is “Thank God a regular person is teaching this class!” The only time I am treated differently in my dance form is when it comes to being shown in the “public’s eye”. People try to fat shame me all the time. I say bring it on! Besides stating the obvious….what else can you say? I can dance! I know my stuff! I have done my homework!”

THE DANCING QUEEN

Katrina Kruse Scott definitely defies the odds and redefines what is beautiful on the dancing scene. As a plus-sized woman, Katrina stands out as an amazing, beautiful woman comfortable with herself and confident of the skill she has learned mastering her craft. “I alone am responsible for my dance direction. I don’t settle. I gravitate to positive people.

182

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Katrina also shares some of the mean things which were done, “I was featured in a “Health” magazine before in Rochester and they used a picture of some skinny, little thing who weighed 95 pounds soaking wet! I could not believe they would use another person’s picture to “sell” the experience I have. I will admit that pissed me off. I am me! I have worked hard for what I have! My face and body no matter what shape it is in it represents me and I am not for sale!”

As many young girls do, Katrina began dance lessons at the age of 3 or 4 enrolling in jazz and ballet. She continued lessons until she was 6 and her parents divorced. At that time, the family moved from Ohio to NY. Katrina didn’t re-enroll until she was 11. Katrina attended Our Lady of Perpetual Help Catholic School and it is here where she met her best friend Linc Pape’s mother who was a belly dancing instructor.

Katrina always loved Egypt so she instantly fell in love with the ancient dances. She started her Middle Eastern Dance career focusing on Egyptian Oriental (Raks Sharqi) and Turkish Cabaret styles of dance (Danse Tansi). Preferring the more folkloristic styles of the dance, Rakks Shaabi is her favorite including Cane (Raks Al Assaya), Tunisian, Moroccan, Algerian, the North African styles of Bedouin Dance. It was at age 12, Katrina joined her first belly dancing troupe. By age 18, she was promoted to costume director. By age 25, she became the director of the troupe. Katrina teaches at the University of Rochester in the dance department, and guest teaches at the University of Brockport. Teaching is her way of sharing her craft. She also is featured at community dance centers, community colleges and her home-based studio. During her membership to the belly dancing group, she was given the opportunity

to travel attending workshops across the country. She met renowned dancers and musicians. She grew up with Faruk Tekbilek & Ibrahim Turmen’s drumming and music. Katrina loves Turkish music. In 2001, along with Kim Hoover, Katrina started Sword and Scarab. Katrina was 35 and felt she needed to dig deeper and gain a deeper understanding of belly dancing. In thinking about how dance impacts life, “I would have to say dance impacted my life for the better. I was blessed with the opportunity of travelling to Egypt, Turkey and across the USA to study with the best instructors and musicians. I have learned so much about the history and dynamics of my dance art form from so many different countries. I’ve met so many amazing women in so many walks of life My dance career gave me the opportunity to teach in many facets including health clubs, community centers, dance studios and colleges where I currently teach at the University of Rochester (13 years running)”. In addition to her passion for dance, Katrina is also someone’s Mom. Her son Benjamin Scott, is an artist. He will be 25 this year. Katrina danced through her pregnancy and performed at 8 ½ months at the International Festival at Darin Lake. In collaboration with Kathy Keady, Kim Hoover, Cori Averill, Joanne Neidzwicki, and Linda Weiland Katrina is sponsoring “Tails of Arabia”. The event benefits G.R.A.S.P. (Greece Residents Assisting Stray Pets).This event includes workshops, vending and a show. Katrina is a woman who inspires. When watching her perform in “Island in the Desert” at the Memorial Art Gallery, she was beautiful in her chosen dances. Her cane dance was phenomenal. In this performance, she was also a musician where she was playing a drum. We as women, should have the confidence to do whatever our heart desires. Katrina paves the wave for this by beating the stereotypes and being comfortable in a world where mainstream tries to define beauty as 5’2 and 125 pounds. This is not what real people look like in America. Katrina leaves us in closing “ So, me in a nutshell. I am married to a wonderful man Doug Scott and we’ve been married for the last 28 years. I am 52. Not going to hide it. I am 5’10. Scottish/Polish in ethnic background. I come from a state south of the Mason Dixie line. I own a Triumph Motorcycle, love heavy metal. I am a gear head. I still want a 1967 GTO”! Katrina Kruse Scott: the dancing queen.

K { law and hip hop } The dance is often referred to as a dance for lovers, a sensual art. “In truth, I like to avoid the adjective ‘sensual’ or ‘sexual’ when describing Kizomba, Elyse says. We often get a bad rap for being ‘too close’ or ‘too intimate’. For me, the draw of Kizomba lies in the connection. It is the most honest, connected, and safe experience that I have found in dance and it has taught me so much about the nature of human interaction, touch therapy and trust. The vulnerability required for true connection with another human being, without the implications of sexuality, for me, is where the magic is :)”. While Meliisa and Elyse sparked the interest locally, the love for Kizomba quickly spread throughout the globe. The ladies not only teach weekly classes in Rochester, NY but also travel the world teaching and performing sharing their love of this dance with everyone they can from Buffalo, Syracuse and Albany, to Washington DC, Columbus OH, Pittsburgh, PA, to Montreal, London and Toronto, Canada. Meliisa and Elyse grace the stage! You can even catch Elyse on WAYO radio, 104.3 FM.

KIZOMBA DARLING?

184

Kizomba is an exotic form of dance sometimes called “the African Tango” which emphasizes the connection between dance partners. This dance originated in Africa but was traced back to Angola. Four years ago, alongside her dance partner, Meliisa Parkhurst , Elyse Inzinga started Roc Kizomba. The pair turned the local love of this dance style into a movement.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Elyse is not the typical radio show host. “I host a weekly Kizomba radio show called Roc With Me Kizomba Radio on Thursdays at 12 Noon on WAYO FM - I fell into this opportunity to host a show on WAYO and jumped into it head first. Turns out, I LOVE hosting this show and we have listeners and participants from all across the US, Canada and beyond each week. The show has provided a means for kizomba dancers from far and wide to discuss important topics related to dance, connect with one another and share fantastic music. (check out past shows here: https://www.mixcloud.com/RocWithMe/)”. Elyse found a niche and she danced with it! “Dance is life! Truthfully, I found myself, when I found dance. Dance has connected me with an incredible community of people, it gives me a means in which I can connect with people from all over the world, share something I am passionate about, inspire others, empower people, and leave the world feeling a little more loved and embraced. Dance is my therapy, my social outlet and my true passion. I can’t imagine life without it!” when reflecting on what dance does to enhance Elyse’s life.

With a background in African dance, Zumba, Latin Dance, and dance performance, Elyse brings years of unique dance experience to the table. Adding traveling the world, learning and teaching workshops with all ages, backgrounds, and languages, Elyse developed a mastery of instruction and can teach anyone how to move. Feeling like she accomplished her goal of tackling the dance and music industry in Rochester Elyse strives to continue to share her passion for dance. Of importance she was awarded “best instructor” during her participation at the Toronto International Kizomba Congress. Prior to opening her own dance studio, Elyse was a fitness Zumba instructor. She recently became a mother. “ As anyone with children

knows, becoming a parent changes everything, and my life has been no exception. Thanks to my incredibly generous and kind husband, I have had the privilege of continuing to dance through my pregnancy and throughout my daughter’s first year. It is a balancing act (that I am still working to improve) to the max and would not be possible without his patience and support. I have had to cut back drastically in the event organization aspect of running a dance company and have prioritized instruction as my best contribution to the community. The juggling act is one that I am certain many women can relate to, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I cannot wait for the day my daughter can participate in dance classes and look forward to watching how my business, family and dance life will continue to evolve” Elyse remarked. Roc Kizomba also supports the Latin Rhythm Dance Club at RIT. This organization is completely student-run, and Roc Kizomba visits several times a year to teach kizomba to their Club and help support their performance and event teams. Roc Kizomba offer weekly classes for kizomba at our studio, located in the Fedder Building (1237 E Main Street, Rochester). Our beginner-oriented classes begin the first Wednesday of each month and are 4-week long, progressive classes. These classes meet at 6:30PM each week and are 60 minutes in length. Our Level Two (for those with Kizomba experience) classes are Wednesdays at 7:45PM, and follow the same 4-week progressive structure, with various specialty topics each month. We also offer private dance instruction for those that cannot make our group classes, and these private lessons can be booked based on personal availability. Elyse is very goal-oriented and soars as a female entrepreneur. In addition to the dance studio, she is in the midst of launching a new company, Roc Wedding Dance. This is an effort to increase her brand and the reach for dance instruction in Rochester and beyond. Elyse took the wedding jitters and turned it into a business plan. “ I have found couples who are soon to be wed have anxiety surrounding their first dances, and also find ‘traditional’ dance instruction to be intimidating, too expensive or dated in terms of their interests. My mission with Roc Wedding Dance is simple – I want to empower my students, take away the nerves, help them have fun AND look great on their big day. My instruction is tailored specifically to each student and I take the time to get to know them and their goals before lessons even begin. I won’t teach the Foxtrot or the Waltz here – I want to take wedding dance instruction into the 21st century and shake things up a bit. I am so excited to launch this new spin on wedding dance in Rochester - this is yet another dance dream coming to life!” Elyse indicates. She looks forward to continuing her dream, enjoying life, doing what she loves…Kizomba Darling??? Roc Wedding Dance Website: https://www.rocweddingdance.com/#home-section

STOP

SCIATICA SUCKING THE JOY OF LIVING OUT OF YOU.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;There Is Another Way!â&#x20AC;? . Sciatica Shooting, stabbing, burning pain can take over your life wasting, strikes when you least expect it and can lead to muscle down to your numbness and constant tingling which can spread right toes. ng out of you. livi of joy the k suc lly rea and life r you r ove e tak It can But there is another way...

There is a safe, natural, proven solution to this dreadful problem that works consistently to resolve the pain, discomfort and stress that sciatica can cause. Call 671-9210 NOW and for just a small investment of $27 (some docs charge much more) you will receive a complete sciatica evaluation to lead us to the problem and offer you options to reduce or even rid you of sciatica for good. Call 671-9210 NOW. Note: Only 10 places are available at O'Dell Chiropractic for this offer so please call quickly.

{ ask the doctor }

INTRODUCING DR. NORMAN O’DELL by dr. norman O’Dell

“Isn’t it normal for my spine to degenerate with age?” When people ask me that I can see how they would think such a thing. I mean just look around and what do you see, “senior citizen posture” all around us. It seems like that bent over posture is becoming more and more common. What is common isn’t always always normal. People have arteries clogging all the time but that doesn’t make it normal. People get kicked out of their seat while sitting in their seat on the plane, that doesn’t make it right. Research is showing that a properly maintained spine will not result in the rapid degeneration that most people are commonly suffering from. The question now is: “how do you want to age?” I see people running races and working out in their late 70s and beyond. But then I see people in the same age group who are stuck limping around or using a walker or cane and not enjoying the activities that they once had. What is the difference? When you consider what controls everything in your body , what do yo think of? The spine and nervous system goes through on average 1500 falls and impacts by the age of 2. Then we fall off our bikes and get in car accidents. Go through live 188

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

with bad posture and probably don’t sleep in the best positions. Think about the traumas even when considered minor that have accumulated in the body. The body remembers. Muscles tendon and ligaments lose their strength and flexibility. Yes some of that is normal but what is common is way beyond normal. By taking an X-ray of your spine people are able to discover where their spine is working normally and where

it is shutting down abnormally. From there it may be specific Chiropractic adjustments, traction and home postural exercises that have proven to be effective in reducing the common in you. So unless you like that “senior citizen posture” we had better get your spine checked.

“Once I go to a chiropractor do I have to keep going?” Great question and definitely one of the common concerns that people have. When someone comes in with headaches for example, we first need to timeline how long these have been going on. For many people they have been suffering with some form of headaches for many years and some actually say that they can’t remember when they didn’t have headaches. Once we come up with a timeline then the next step is to find out what these headaches are preventing them from doing or enjoying. This way we have specific goals set up to not only get rid of headaches but also change how they view and experience life. ( Same idea if it is low back pain or neck pain or whatever ). Once we do an exam and usually X-rays to find out the cause, then its just a matter of getting in there and doing what is needed because depending on the X-ray results these are usually

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

189

H { the perfect hUE }

BY BLAKE DUFAULT I PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK

BAUHAUS.

The German term Bauhaus—literally “construction house”—was understood as meaning “School of Building”. -A triangle, circle and square are the shapes that create everything we see on earth. I even have a tattoo on my neck representing this symbolic constructivism. Included with colors red, yellow and blue in it, (colors I’ll be featuring in a coming article), this tattoo has a significant meaning, as that is what the HUE brand is built around.

190

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

“Hair cutting simplified in one sentence; pull away from what you want to keep.”

At Hue Salons we combine the technique of pulling away with utilizing shapes when cutting guests hair. “It’s architecture.”

Style with Knowledge is the basis of how the artists at Hue Salons conduct guests consultations. During Maja’s Style with Knowledge consultation we included the discussion of creating an illusion of exaggerated length, width and height; the three dimensions of shape.

Picture a chop stick and how it is thick at the base and thin at the ends. That was the challenge with Maja’s hair. We needed to remove weight from the base to give the illusion of thicker ends. We achieved this by utilizing three shapes; a triangle at the nape of her neck to the point of her ear, a circle on the crown of her head, and a square at her temporal bones. The triangle was cut concave, overdirecting hair to the center of her nape. This removes weight where everyone has too much and forces weight to go behind the ear where everyone has much less. The circle was slightly disconnected in length. Think of a wedding veil as it cascades over everything underneath. Within that circle there were many smaller triangles that were also cut concave to exaggerate height and create points within the shape.

The square was thencut balanced on each side to protect the length and exaggerate fullness.

The internal shape, meaning everything not discussed, was wrapped around Maja’s head and cut short to long. Utilizing her bone structure to create layers versus elevation. This made it able for us to create a very custom tailored layer for Maja’s haircut. Now think of a headband if you were to tie it in a bow on your forehead; the hair comes from the back and wrapps to the front of her head then is cut short to long to create movement within the shape. So after our creation, we bring our guest to the glass enclosed washhouse, where you will feel a sense of peace in the tranquil atmosphere; the smells and warm air will make you feel relaxed. Part of thewashhouse experience is to let the guest pick the experience they want to have with us. Maja choose “Lemon Aid.” The HUE Salons Artistic Team will basically make “lemonade” in the guests hairb by starting with a soft scrub of sugar in the raw, then adding fresh squeezed lemons and finishing with a sparking water rinse. Sugar in the raw is meant to exfoliate your scalp while stimulating blood flow and increase circulation. The fresh squeeze of lemons then gently cleanses and swells each individual hair strand while enhances shine and body. To finish the experience, sparking water is used to rinse the guest hair to create bubbles that will make you feel revitalized. The “experience” is then followed up

{ the perfect hUE }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

191

{ the perfect hue }

with a healthy dose of Paul Mitchell’s hair repair treatment which repairs weak, damaged hair and improves strength, texture and elasticity. Thefinish; to others known as style, was a classic set with a modern twist. Utilizing Paul Mitchell’s Super Skinny Serum to reduce blow drying time and to increase shine. Paul Mitchell Express ION XL brushes and Extra Body Firm Finishing Spray were all used together to create volumeous waves and increased shine and manageability. At Hue Salons we make sure that experience and presentation is highest priority. Everything is very clean and crisp in the salon, with bright white and silver decor for a high class feeling. We even give every guest a bottle of VOSS water.

192

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Each brush that is used has been cleaned and is individually wrapped right at the artist’s station. The presentation of each brush being brought out in front of the guest and unwrapped allows the guests to feel as if they were the first one sitting in the artists chair. The brushes were used in a modern way to create a roller set for Maja with each brush being intentionally set in a way to create body and movement. When the Maja was finished in the artist chair, she was then brought over to the makeup station. She got to sit in a Directors chair and have the option to have her makeup touched up, or completely applied. This is an option for all of our guests. Each artist in the salon is trained in Cao Cosmetics, a high definition brand based out of LA; the owner Alee a good friend of mine

is also the owner of a Paul Mitchell School. Alee believes in the HUE Salons brand and was able to fly out an educator to Rochester to train the team when we first opened. Each station is adaptive with an iPad to enhance and engage each guest. The iPads are used to give a blueprint of your haircut and color placement, so every time you come back to Hue Salons you are able to get the exact haircut no matter what artist you see. If this is the experience for only a haircut, just imagine what the experience would be for a color? Stay tuned for next month when Rochester Woman Online owner Kelly Breuer talks about her experience with me and her new color, style and look. It is going to be something you won’t want to miss!

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

193

You can earn a $150 bonus by opening your first new personal checking account with us by 6/9/17. Just make a single direct deposit of at least $500 that posts to the new account within 60 days.1

Check out how convenient banking can be. Our supermarket branches make it easy to take care of all of your banking needs right where you shop — with extended hours, 7 days a week. 175 Winton Rd. North (Inside of Tops) 585-288-4690 CALL 1-888-411-7442 CLICK citizensbank.com/150 COME IN to talk with a banker in your supermarket branch today

FOR MORE INFO CONTACT: Frank Randall Frank.randall@citizensbank.com facebook.com/citizensbank 585-288-4690 @CitizensBank

To qualify for the $150 bonus you must open your first new personal checking account between 5/6/17 and 6/9/17 and have at least 1 single direct deposit of $500 or more post to your new checking account within 60 days of account opening. Primary signer on the new checking account may not be or have been a primary or secondary signer on any personal checking account within the previous six months. Offer only available in select branches. The new account must be open and in good standing to qualify for this offer. Offer may be withdrawn without notice and cannot be combined with any other checking offer. $150 Bonus will be deposited into your qualifying checking account within 90 days after the first qualified direct deposit has posted and will be labeled as “Balance Builder Bonus.” One bonus per customer. Bonus will be reported to the IRS. Variable-rate Annual Percentage Yield (APY) for Checking with Interest varies by account and tier. For example, as of 3/17/17, APY by tier for Personal Checking with Interest is: 0.01% for $25+, $2,500+, $10,000+, $25,000+, $50,000+, $75,000+. Minimum opening balance of any amount. Fees may reduce earnings. Rates may change after account opening.

Member FDIC. Accounts, services subject to approval. Fees, policies and prices subject to change. Citizens Bank is a brand name of Citizens Bank, N.A. and Citizens Bank of Pennsylvania. © 2017 Citizens Financial Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

574157 BW

3349 Monroe Ave Pittsford Plaza Rochester, NY 14618 585-586-6860 106 Greece Ridge Center Dr. Rochester, NY 14626 585-371-3194

{ young womens college prep } BY CHERYL KATES BENMAN I PHOTO BY BRANDON VICK

YOUNGWOMEN’S COLLEGE PREP CHARTER SCHOOL - AP TEST Young Women’s College Prep Charter School students like Sara Trabelsi are not waiting to get to college to start earning college credit.

. They are getting a jump on higher education – just like millions of other high school students around the country – by earning college credit through AP (Advanced Placement) courses. YWCP offered it’s first AP course in 20152016. This year, the school is offering four AP courses (World History, Environmental Science, Psychology and English). Last year, as a 10th grader, Sara became the first YWCP student to earn a grade of 4 (out of 5) on an AP exam (AP World History). Four other girls scored 3s. Colleges vary on the score they require for a student to earn credit, with some accepting 3s, and most accepting 4s and 5s. Teacher Kristen Pasquarella taught the first year of AP World History as 9th graders, a precursor to the second-year AP course. “It is awesome if the girls can get college credit,” she said. “But even just the exposure to something as rigorous as this helps them. It’s like something they would see in a college course.”

The AP test was on May 12. “I stayed up every night until like midnight for two weeks before the test,” Sara said. “Granted that was probably not the best idea because I woke up tired on the day of the test.” She also studied on the bus and studied together after school with her classmates and teacher Jorge Degro. “I was really relieved after I took it,” Sara said of the test. “All that stress was gone.” AP grades became available online on the College Board website on July 9. “I woke up that day really stressed, thinking what did I get, what did I get?” Sara said. “The scores were available at 9 a.m.; I woke up at 6. “I felt so happy,” she said, when she saw her score. “It’s amazing that I won’t have to take these classes in college,” Sara said. “In college I will have more time to do the things that I really

want to do. … It was very exciting.” Ms. Pasquarella was thrilled, too, about how the students performed. “I think I cried a little bit,” she said. “I’ve known these girls for five years and had them in 7th and 9th grades. … I am very proud of them all.” An added bonus for the girls taking the AP World History test - and their teachers: all of them passed the Global History Regents exam. “The prep for the AP test was extremely helpful for the Regents exam,” Ms. Pasquarella said. This year Sara is taking three AP courses: AP Environmental Science, AP Psychology and AP English. Her advice to other girls who will be taking AP tests next May: “Don’t stress too much. Even if you don’t get the score you want, the college you go to will see that you tried really hard.”

{ all about m.e. }

where’s the IN BY MARY ELIZABETH NESSER

PASSION?

When I look around at the people who have come in and out of my life over the years, I’m discouraged by the vast number of men and women who have so little passion in their lives. Our journey is a short one, and I, for one, am not going to waste it pissing and moaning about how I wish things were different. I am the one in control of my destiny and my happiness. I can’t expect other’s to do it for me. It is time for all of us to find a way to bring more passion into our lives and more joy into our hearts. When the alarm clock goes off in the morning, how does it make you feel? Are you dreading the workday or are you excited about the day ahead? If you are one of the countless worker bee’s who can’t wait until Friday to come, then I think it might be time to reconsider your career choice. You shouldn’t be spending the majority of your day doing something that makes you unhappy.

My parents spent a lot of of money on my private education, which began when I was in the fifth grade. Not only did I secure a bachelor’s degree at the University of Rochester, I received a Master’s Degree from our very own Nazareth College. While I was teaching, I realized that I didn’t love what I was doing. I had a difficult time adhering to rules I didn’t agree with, constantly worrying about the children on an academic and also a personal level, and feeling disgusted by how poorly teachers were compensated in our society. I was really worried that my mom (my dad had passed by this point) would be disappointed that I wanted to change professions since they spent all this money helping me get my degree. When I told her I wanted to join Mark at the salon, she couldn’t have been more supportive. She assured me that education was never wasted and was proud of me for wanting to find a career that made me happy. Since she worked alongside her husband for forty years, she was thrilled 198

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

that I wanted to be an even bigger part of my husband’s life. What I didn’t realize until I left education was that my marriage suffered while I taught. The stress from my job carried on to my relationship. It was nearly impossible not to bring the stressors of work home with me at night. We weren’t as connected physically or emotionally. It was a difficult time for us. Walking away from teaching and having the courage to try a different path in life was the best decision I could have ever made. Working in the salon made me feel valued, which was important to me. And there is something about making another person feel better that is more rewarding than I can put into words. Changing careers was also, by far, the best thing I could have done for our marriage. Making women feel beautiful, whether I was painting their nails, giving them a facial, waxing their bikini, applying their makeup or styling their hair was a career that I instantly fell in love with. Interacting with clients in a salon setting is very personal. You establish connections that aren’t often found in other professions. I felt passionate about my career. It made me happy. Being happy at a place you spend at least 40 hours a week translates into more happiness at home. It’s hard to come home after a full day doing something you dread and putting on your happy face when you’ve been consumed with a ho-hum existence all day. If you spend a day doing something that excites you or you find rewarding, on the other hand, then you’ll be much more inclined to radiate positivity to your loved one’s. Passion breeds passion. Being complacent in your relationship can be just as damning as being complacent with your profession. Remember when you first fell in love and you couldn’t keep your hands off of each

other? It was such an exciting time. Every part of you felt alive. Spending time together, making out, cuddling, holding hands and especially sex was satisfying and brought you such joy. Then life gets in the way and you settle for a quick romp on Saturday nights and an occasional peck on the lips when you leave for work in the morning. I find it difficult to believe that there is anyone who wouldn’t prefer the intensity that existed at the start of your relationship than to how it is now. Believe it or not, you have the ability to keep that passion alive in your personal life. You shouldn’t have to live vicariously though the heroines in your romance novels. I’m living proof that the honeymoon doesn’t have to ever end, because I refuse to make such a huge sacrifice in my happiness. I would love every woman to find a way to rekindle that passion that may be waning at home. Here are a few examples. -Turn off the television. He won’t be able to concentrate on you with ESPN on in the background. -Make a pact to turn off your phone. Nothing ruins a good make out session more than that incoming text. And I hate to break it to you, but that text is probably not urgent and could wait twenty minutes before you respond. Can you even remember the last time you shut your phone off? I think those small, hand held devices are destroying our sex lives. Turning things off can be such a turn-on! -Go on a date. Not once a year or even once a month. I want you to shoot for once a week. I know you have work and possibly kid obligations. I have three children; I get it. But if you make dating a priority, you will find the time. Believe it or not, dates don’t have to happen solely on a Saturday night. How about getting up a little earlier and having breakfast in bed and a little bit of

f each other for a treat? Trust me, it’s the best way to start your day. You can also schedule an hour or two in the middle of the day to go to the movies or sneak back in bed for some afternoon delight. If you think outside the box, your box will thank me. -Send romantic or naughty texts during the day to remind your partner that not only are you thinking about him, but also you still want him. It’s time to make your relationship a priority. The more sex you have, the more sex you will crave. For those of your married folks out there, remember your honeymoon? You couldn’t get enough. It was the most connected you have probably ever felt with another person in your entire life. Stop making excuses. Turn off the phone, turn off the lights (or maybe turn them on so you can see what you’re doing!) and reestablish that connection that brought you together in the first place. Just like a smile is contagious, so is passion. Make passion something you can’t live without and you won’t be able to stop smiling! M.E. Nesser is the author of A Promise of Passion series, which can be found on Amazon.

Join Maureen McGuire, Adam Chodak, Emeterio Otero, and the Rochester Mambo Kings to celebrate the successful educational programs of the Ibero American Action League! Supporting Early Childhood Education Sponsored by Vision Auto Rochester Riverside Convention Center Saturday, June 17, 2017 256-8900 www.iaal.org iberoevents@iaal.org

self love love }} {{ self

202

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ soul sense } Making sense of this crazy world from the eye of the Soul is what I do personally and professionally every day. In every choice, challenge and experience. It allows you to feel the beauty of life and have the strength for the challenges that come our way in this human experience. I love to share ways I have found to help me as a woman, mother and as a student and teacher of life. It has been through healing grief I have learned the most. So I thank my parents in the heavens for how they still inspire me every day. So you say you don’t have time or have tried to meditate but you can’t? Or it’s not your thing? (Yes I have those words)! I would like to share with you the power and natural benefits meditation has for you. Only 10 minutes a day can change your life!

Soul Sense with Medium Beth Lynch

BY BETH LYNCH

I have been teaching meditation for all ages for over 20 years and often hear, “I try, I can’t, I don’t have time.” I remember when I said all of the above. When I tried, and could not stop my thoughts. We are thinking, feeling beings, and will not stop thinking. Meditation is the awareness of thought and discipline of emotion. A simple commitment for a few minutes a day and at bedtime is all you need to get started on a powerful and natural journey of love and healing. Once you reinforce this practice, it will feel natural to do. It will become part of your daily routine. Meditation is the mediation of the spirit (your personal relationship with God, Universe or Oneness) and Self (personality, qualities and challenging aspects of it). As a human being, we must learn to understand, nurture and create from our true essence, which is our Spirit. Our Spirit is our connection with Source, oneness with others, it is God, it is the Buddha within. It is powerful, compassionate and truth filled. It is an intelligence of all that is great and eternal. Again, it is NATURAL. Why wouldn’t you want to connect to this source of energy? First understand that when we meditate we connect to our most natural and sacred part of who we are. You are teaching yourself to look at the bigger picture or see the highest perception possible. Stepping out or details and into the symbolic meaning of what we are experiencing. In my own meditation, I have asked “why are we a society where there is so much suffering, from children to animals even our waters and earth. There is a tremendous amount of abuse, neglect and even ignorance. Ignorance is the “ignoring of higher truth of who we are”. The message returned to me in the silence was this, “You have evolved as a species technically, but not spiritually and you are now in the consequence of that. It is not a punishment, but is a consequence”. Ouch. It

should hurt. Even more so, it should inspire and drive us to want to understand our true, sacred and natural nature. Our Divinity, our relationship with God, the Universe, Buddha, Allah, Jesus, whomever it is, IT is all ONE. You may find the proof you need on earth or when you cross into eternal life. But you are here now, expressing creativity, love and even fear at times. Wouldn’t you like to be connected to a Oneness that will never, ever, let you down? Then look in the mirror, IT is right in front of you. IT is in your heart. Even with the daily choices and the most challenging experiences in life, it will help you to connect with the inner voice and trust your intuition. Intuition is a survival instinct coming from the highest frequency of our source. It is natural and sacred. We must plug in every day. Moments of creative expression, connection to nature or conscious meditation time (daily devotion) will plug you in. Whether you are a beginner or devoted to the daily practice of meditation, you can benefit from the simplicity and the power of a meditation practice. The beginning will be consistent so you can become more comfortable and embrace the natural emotions that come with meditation. The power of understanding who we are as a spiritual and a human being is more important now than ever. We have evolved as a species technically but not spiritually. Meditation practice shows you honor, respect and devote to the practice of the self-love the law of attraction aligns you and your intelligence as a human being opens for the physical manifestation of the conditions and experiences. Keep this formula in mind, thought + emotion equals the condition and manifestation of all things. Thoughts are energy, emotions are energy and all matter is energy. My meditations begin with bringing the heart light in and around. This is using the power of your heart as opposed to reaching outside of yourself. The power IS within. IT is a sacred source of energy that affects your nervous and immune systems as well as every cell in your body. Be aware of your physical difference prior to meditation and after. It is a sense of peace and relaxation. This is what creates condition of the energy field around you. This field, commonly known as the aura, is the magnetic field that is around every human being, animal and even plants! Studies have shown five minutes a day with breath awareness, visualization and positive affirmations (combined these create a meditative state) will strengthen the immune and nervous system, enhance concentration, relieve stress and help self-confidence. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

203

{ soul sense }

It will allow your mind, heart and body to function in its strongest capacity. Allowing for a stronger immunes and nervous systems, intuitive and natural expressions of creativity, self-confidence and love. Will practicing meditation help me every day? Yes! Meditation is “mediation” between your thoughts, feelings and actions. It will have an impact in all aspects of your life from obtaining goals, to achieving healthy relationships personally, professionally and financially. You will have a clearer view in making choices and when facing challenges. You will begin to understand your resistances (seen in patterns & challenges) from the perspective that you are energetic being. You are energy, thoughts are energy and emotions are energy. All things physical manifest from the energy of our thoughts and emotion. (Law of Attraction).

How does meditation help mentally?

Our mind is the way we direct thought and patterns of thought that create this frequency. This can be seen as the energy field (aura) around you. If you practice meditation and pay attention closely, you will begin to sense this energy around yourself and others. The source is not outside of us; it is in the within. The act of self-love propels this through and around us, influencing all conditions, relationships and experiences past, present and future. Creating the conditions around your relationships, health, wealth. It allows you to express creativity and recognize your goals and dreams.

204

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Every thought we have are so important and the patterns they create have a profound effect on the conditions of our life. The conditions do not just happen to us. Just look around at the mental health of society today. It is hard to believe this many young and old are mentally “ill”. Society has created this condition and until we respond to our ability as a human being, embrace the spirit of life we will heal these conditions. In turn taking back the power we have as a thinking, feeling being. Again, meditation is “mediation” between what we think and how we feel. If we accept we can discipline our thoughts and we to a natural way of thinking. How does meditation help us emotionally? The conditions of all relationships are created by your perception you have about it. The foundation of the relationship you have with yourself is the beginning of the perception. Imagine a pond between you and another person in your life. The condition of this relationship is based on the frequency of the emotions and thoughts you have and what the other is having. Is the pond murky or clear, rough or calm? It allows you to discipline the response you have to your feelings. It gives you a strong sense of being in control and allows you to become active as opposed to reactive to your emotions toward yourself and others. It gives us energy when we feel tired because it is like getting a positive charge if we are drained! It turn it relaxes the internal systems, when focus and intention and action (breathing patterns) are applied because the body will follow the intention of the slower breath and awareness.

How will meditation help physically?

Meditation has a profound effect on the human body. It will strengthen the immune and nervous systems. It balances and brings what is needed to the body because it is aligned with the natural frequency or highest potential to function. For example, energy if tired or sluggish and if nervous or anxious it will bring you into a balance.

Meditation is a conscious choice to just sit and connect the mind, heart and body. It is an act of self-love and empowers you to make healthy choices from nutrition to exercise. A simple walk connecting to nature is a meditative experience. When we begin the act of meditation we use the breath to start to be more aware of the present. Allowing you to release from stressors in life and even energize yourself naturally. We must think in terms of the science and the personal connection of being a conscious being. This perception carries a frequency that is above the human conception but it is our natural source of connection to be creative, cope with all emotions and to exercise free will. Because our thoughts and feelings are measured in vibration and the law of attraction can only bring us the experience of that frequency. Our cells and function of our physical systems also run on this measurement which is why meditation has profound effect on the health of the body. When we meditate we align to our natural infinite source of energy which will give us energy, relax if anxious and allow all physical systems to run in their highest potential.

How does meditation help us with financial success and security?

This perception about money can and will change your future. The perception you have with money creates the conditions of the relationship you have with it. The emotions connected to the thoughts about money propel the magnetics and the law of attraction is in motion to bring it to you, push away or hold it still. The relationship with money is formed on how we have experienced it in our childhood. How we perceive the experiences becomes the foundation in teens and will carry on in our adult life. Imagine children have a healthy relationship with their financial security. It is every parents dream for their children to be able to create financial security from what they love to do as well as provide for themselves and a family someday. To give ourselves and the children the tools they need and deserve to be a creative, happy and healthy human being is our purpose but we must give to ourselves first. Then we teach them how to express and create from the most powerful source they have, the spirit of life! So, as you can see meditation can help all ages. It helps us express the energy of love and creativity to our highest potential and can be fun in doing so. It is a natural act we often do without realizing. As the kids in the schools say when they experience it, this is cool. They also say, “where did my anger go”… need I say more? We have a silent language that is expressing between every living person, animal and plant and I would say it’s time we all learn it. I I offer free, yes free, online meditations every 1st & 3rd Thursday 9pmest. In the comfort of your own home. Family and pet friendly. Just read and register on my website! Peace.Love.Meditate. www.innerlighteaching.com

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

205

{ senior lifestyles } by jim payne

Grandparenting My Favorite Job With all those clichés about grandparenting, like “you can send them home when they get cranky” or “grandma’s job is to spoil her grandkids”, the one thing I really didn’t anticipate, is how truly great it is to be a grandparent. After all the struggles of learning parenting and hoping the kids would turn out well, it feels wonderful to be a grandparent with its unique responsibilities, joy and satisfaction that comes with this important role. We adore our own children, but with experience under your belt and more time on your hands, being a grandparent is a completely different experience than parenting and a truly wonderful time in life. But, what are the roles that grandparents play in the lives of their grandchildren that will bring value, happiness and satisfaction to the children’s lives and our own? Their parents are the boss when it comes to their kids, but historically grandparents have been the elders who offered wisdom, stability, experience and in many cases child rearing to the family. So, let’s think about what grandparent skills can be offered as valuable roles in the modern family.

The Family Listeners

As much as we hope to have an open dialogue with our children throughout their lives, there are somethings that just don’t get discussed. Whether it is a trust issue or children already know how their parents will respond, few children have open dialogue with their parents all of the time. But at times, grandparents can offer an

objective ear to hear a grandchild’s concerns, fears and thoughts in a way that their parents may not be able to do. Conversations with our grandchildren can be less distracted than their parents who are still in the peak of life with limited time on their hands. Grandparents on the other hand have the time and interest to hear the stories the way that their grandchildren want to tell them. With a more open unbiased frame of mind, grandparents can consider all sides of their grandchildren’s thoughts and offer advice and acknowledgement that can be an important additional element in the child’s development. By framing discussions with their grandchildren’s safety and positive development as their goal, recommendation based on the grandparent’s long experience can enhance the trust grandchildren inherently have for the grandparents. Take the time to be the family Listener when the opportunity arises so that your grandchildren will have another trusted source for advice and guidance.

The Family Cheerleaders

Whether learning to ride a bike, a sporting event success, a great report card or a graduation, grandparents can bring joy and encouragement to their grandchildren by being part of their lives and acknowledging their grandchildren’s achievements of all sizes. Taking the time to be part of your grandchildren’s’ lives by attending their events are more than momentary experiences. The feeling of being supported by generations of your family creates confidence in children as they face challenges and develop the foundation that adulthood will ultimately

be formed on. Not to mention the joy and satisfaction that grandparents get in return for taking on or sharing the all-important Cheerleader role.

The Family Historians

As we all age, many of us take note of the significance of our heritage. Where our family came from, why we are who we are and what our heritage means to future generations. With the internet tools and DNA testing that are available today, we can collect names and statistics, but it is difficult to really understand who our relatives were from a personal perspective. What they were like, how they lived and what their challenges were; told through the real-life stories that only the elders of the family can share. That’s where grandparents come in as our own family Historians who have lived long enough to have known three or four generations personally. The stories that grandparents have shared with their grandchildren for thousands of years have extended the knowledge of not only your family, but the environment and culture that those generations experienced. They tell the stories about how they lived, loved and lost. The fun they had, how the extended family shared personal and professional responsibilities, the impact of war, how technology has evolved and who they miss the most. Without having our grandparents to share the stories of their life experiences, we could never really know what life was like in the generations before us. Not just out of curiosity, but to ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

207

{ senior lifestyles }

learn from their experiences and appreciate their contributions to our lineage and society.

The Family Backup

The term “Backup” denotes a strong sense of inferiority in the sports scenario, but in the grandparent game, acting as the backup when needed is a critical position in the success of the family. Every grandparent knows, that when your adult children’s’ schedules are busting at the seams and Bobby needs a ride to his game or needs to be picked up from school, Super Grandparent will step in and save the day. Well maybe not exactly Superhero status, but very important to minimize family stress and frankly get another chance to spend time with your grandchildren. Offer to help and take on the role with gusto. Have a backup kit in your car with a change of clothes, a bit of food and maybe some books and toys just in case you get that call to assist your adult children and grandchildren when they need your help.

M aking S pecial Relationships

Now that you have several grandchildren, you want to be sure you share a special relationship 208

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

with each one of them. You want each one to feel you have a unique relationship when they are with you and have memories of the time that you spent together that will last a lifetime. But what makes each relationship with our grandchildren unique? First and foremost, each grandchild is unique as we all are, so try to find out what each grandchild likes to do that is different than the others. If one grandchild likes art, another likes animals, science, cars or sports, find activities for each of their own interest that you can do with them. When it comes time for presents, buy presents that reinforce their own interest, like a paint set, a book on horses or a big red noisy car. Extending their unique interest throughout your relationship with them will only enhance the time you spend with your grandchildren and reinforce the wonderful memories that you will share with them. If you are a grandparent, enjoy these times and make it special for your grandchildren and yourself. If you are not a grandparent yet, look forward to the joys that grandparenting will bring to you. My favorite phase to hear when the door opens is “Hi Grandpa!”

What’s on Your Mind?

We would love to know what you would like discussed in future issues of Senior Lifestyles. Knowledge is power when it comes to creating the best lifestyle for seniors and their care providers, so let’s start a dialog on what matters to you. Feel free to contact me directly. Jim Payne, Director of Marketing Seniors’ Choice Communities Jim.Payne@seniorschoicecommunities.com SeniorsCC.com ChateauHS.com Jim Payne has provided consulting and held executive positions for companies offering senior living/care communities and services. Jim is a certified Eden Alternative Associate and has also held a three-year cabinet position with Leading Age New York, the premier association of senior living and care communities. Seniors’ Choice Communities is a developer of senior living and care communities serving the needs of upstate New York by offering independent and assisted living communities with unique upscale amenities and services including the new Chateau at Heritage Square in Brockport.

Chateau at Heritage Square

ENJOY CATERED LIVING With unique amenities and services, Chateau at Heritage Square was created from the ground up to genuinely enhance the quality of life for seniors without all the worry, obligations and unpredictable cost of owning a home. • Located on a wooded property near the quaint Victorian Village of Brockport • Six luxurious apartments styles from studios to 2 BR-2 ½ Bath 1,400 sq. ft. • Apartments include: Granite counters Stainless steel appliances Washer & dryer in each apartment Tiled baths with walk-in shower Fireplaces Weekly housekeeping and linen services All utilities (except phone) Flat screen TV FREE cable and Wi-Fi internet • Meal plan at Madeleine that is open to the public • Clair de Lune cocktail lounge that is open to the public • Services Free Transportation services Valet parking Concierge services 24 hr. maintenance and security Personal emergency alert system • Amenities Luxurious salon and spa that is open to the public Modern fitness center that is open to the public Pet friendly community Library Extensive arts, cultural and educational activities calendar Educational collaborations with the College at Brockport

NOW OPEN! Call us today to select your beautiful new apartement

585.431.3474

www.ChateauHS.com 100 Isla Way, Brockport

SENIORS’ CHOICE COMMUNITIES

Home

{ cooking with Julia k } BY JULIA KHOURY

“Automation” for The

BE TRUE to

yourself

210

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: MAY 2017

{ cooking with Julia k }

In this Wine and Food edition I think it is important to be true to yourself. Learning by doing and heartfelt enjoyment has always seemed more intriguing to me than the science behind or dutiful study of…. almost anything. I suppose I can or could have been a sommelier, I suppose I can or could have been a classically trained chef. I have chosen not to be either and respect both. My tastevin is a gift from a friend. I measure rice with it. It fits like a glove. I like it and I make good food with it. Don’t tell anyone. Having said that, when I look at food and wine pairings, two things come to mind. Really in depth “tasting notes” kind of events that border on pretention where I just nod and “knowingly” agree, (don’t get me wrong these are very educational and I suggest it) and the other event where my friends come over and everyone brings something new

and we kick our shoes off and eat and drink. I like this one. What we like to do is pay homage to local so we grab some cheese maybe from our friends Muranda Cheese or First Light Farms. Then we get some crusty bread from Flour City or Baker Street. Then we each grab some local NYS wine favorites (too numerous to mention) and have a little tasting party. There is a wine trail. There is a cheese trail. Follow them. I know there is a science behind it but we prefer to share and enjoy and not overly examine. We learn from our mistakes and celebrate our new finds. New York is a great state for food and wine. Embrace it in your own way with products and people you care about. I am sure you cant go wrong. There is no scorecard like experience. Enjoy!

Julia K.

{ mind, body, spirit }

The Sacred Feminine Today’s Goddess by alANA CALHOON

I was inspired. Let me tell you. I had no idea what I was in for when I signed up for Wisdom Rising back in January. It was my birthday, and I needed a tune up. That means a trip to Kripalu Yoga Retreat Center. It’s a magical place where I can let go of all my worries and be free. So that’s what I was planning to do … 4 months later … in April. Boy was I ready. I packed my yoga attire and my hippie clothes. (Yes. I do have others - a few suits, Ann Klein, Tahari, etc. but no need for them here.) I was on my way on a sunny morning from Rochester, NY to the Berkshires, a mere 4 1/2 hour drive. I love this place. Did I mention that? It sits on over 200 acres of sacred land. The building was a former monastery. It’s enormous with 4 levels sprawling in either direction. There are classes and programs from 6 am to 9 pm. The kitchen is pretty phenomenal, too. Especially if you’re vegetarian. Even if you’re not. “Wisdom Rising.” Sounds cool, doesn’t it? “Calling all women for this life-changing meditation retreat and celebration of the Divine Feminine!” Yes! Count me in. “Learn to transform core emotional patterns affecting women today anxiety, anger, inadequacy, depression, grasping, and compulsive doing - into living wisdom.” 212

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

This may not only help me, but the women I work with, too. Oooo! Maybe I can incorporate some of the tools into the Goddess Within Retreat. There I was. Ready for transformation. And when I left, I was.

Goddesses

Have always fascinated me. Why, each and

every one of us is a Goddess. She is luminescent, brave and sensual. She is the mother, the lover, and the sister. She is represented in nearly every religion and culture. The Mother Mary in Christianity who prays for us. Quan Yin, the Buddhist Goddess of Compassion. Aphrodite, the ancient Greek Goddess of Beauty and Love. Eriu, Ireland’s Goddess of Sovereignty. Who are our Goddesses today? I met a few on my journey in Kripalu.

Lama Tsultrim Allione

Her story is fascinating. A college girl from America goes off on a jaunt to Nepal and India with a girlfriend in the ’60’s. Only she decides to stay. Six months later she returns to college in the states, but is eventually drawn back to India and by the age of 22, becomes a Buddhist nun. Not something that happens every day. Not then. Not now. She was a pioneer. She listened to her intuition. She followed her heart, and pursued her ever evolving dreams. When have you allowed your self to do that? Follow your heart and pursue your ever evolving dreams? What makes Lama Tsultrim intriguing is her down to earth nature. The calling to be a mother and wife became stronger than celibacy and was equal to her calling to serve God, the Source. She left her post, and discovered the intrinsic value of raising a family with its joys and demands. She took this wisdom back with her upon

BY ALANA CAHOON

Lama Tsultrim Allione, Founder of TaraMandala Retreat Center

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

213

{ mind, body, spirit } “In the beginning and along the rocky road, we come to realize the power of love in many forms, shades and ways.”

Today, Lama Tsultrim runs her own Retreat Center in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, the Tara Mandala. I’m hoping to make it there soon. Perhaps for my next birthday!

Shiva Rea

Led the physical movement during the Wisdom Rising program. I met Shiva on the West Coast by chance while looking for a yoga studio to practice in several years back. She is so COOL. With a name like Shiva, and, by the way, she was born with it, how could you not be? Shiva is the embodiment of the sensual Goddess, Aphrodite. Iris, Goddess of rainbows. She moves like liquid. Her smile is always gleaming. Her heart always open. “In the beginning and along the rocky road, we come to realize the power of love in many forms, shades and ways.” She is proof that the Type A personality, mega-achiever can chill out and go with the flow. Her personal transformation began with a series of tragedies that pulled her from the pursuit of a Ph. D to a career in yoga. She is the founder of Pranavinyasa, a unique form of yoga integrating meditation creating an overall healing experience through mind and movement.

Krishna Das

Is a dude, not a Goddess, but he is THE dude when it comes to new age music. 214

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

And he definitely played a role in my decision to sign up for Wisdom Rising. Apparently, he and Lama Tsultrim met as two young Americans in India searching for something deeper than themselves or perhaps within themselves, and have been friends ever since. His music is fun! You get to sing and chant along. The theme of the evening was … the Feminine Goddess.

And one more Goddess on this inspiring journey to share ~

Jurian Hughes

Teaches dance, yoga & meditation at Kripalu. I decided to start off my birthday journey with a coaching session with her. After all, I am a coach. (It’s always fascinating to see how others coach.) And Jurian and I have a lot in common. We both lived in NYC where we were involved in the arts. It was wonderful to share with a kindred spirit, another living Goddess. To learn tips of wisdom, to be encouraged, and supported. That was the golden take-away. Goddesses hold other Goddesses up. We show them their mirrors. We open their hearts and heal them. We work together side by side. We build each other up. We nurture. We feed. We love. We trust. Make that your intention today. See the Goddess in your self. Open your heart and smile into the heart of every woman you pass by. Hold up a mirror. Look into the landscape of her life, her joys and tragedies. We are not all that different. We are all Mothers, Lovers, and Sisters. We are the Goddesses of today. Alana Cahoon is the Creative Coach & Founder of Grow 2 B U. Her Annual Retreat, Goddess Within is being offered in San Diego, CA on July 8th. Be on the lookout for her fall retreat held regionally. She can be reached at www.grow2bu.com.

Jurian Hughes, Yoga, Dance & Meditation Instructor, Kripalu Retreat Center

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

215

U { unraveled } BY SHEILA KENNEDY

This stinking donut. It seems harmless enough, right? Just a little donut caked in cinnamon sugar. Probably a million calories and the sugar grams are out of this world undoubtedly. At 45 years old, eating something like that could cause some damage. It takes a lot more situps or miles around a track to get rid of the remnants of donut eating than it used to.

218

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

219

{ unraveled }

I went to Wegman’s to buy groceries on Saturday. I was feeling pretty high on life. Two big projects at work are nearly complete and that felt amazing. I came from getting my haircut and a little salon time always makes a girl feel good. I was going home to clean out and purge my closet. I have gained some weight and needed to get rid of the clothes that don’t fit anymore. (Sidenote – I ended up purging 75% of my wardrobe!) Life was feeling really good and then I walked into Wegman’s bakery aisle.

220

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

That is when I saw it. That stinking donut. It just called out to me. “Let’s celebrate! You are having a great day – You’ve earned this!” Seriously tempted to purchase the donut for all of those reasons, I had a certain amount of restraint. I decided to walk around the store and finish my shopping. If I still wanted the donut when I was finished, I would go back and get it. Typically when I do that, whatever it is that I originally wanted, is not enough of a lure to go back and get it when I am done. As I was traveling through the store I kept thinking about why I shouldn’t get the donut. I was going home to purge clothes because I had gained weight! Surely the donut wasn’t going to help that situation. Was I eating for comfort or was it pleasure? It wasn’t because I was hungry. If I loved my body, then I would only feed it things that were healthy and loving. That’s the one that usually gets to me. At the end of my rotation through the aisles of Wegman’s, I still wanted the donut despite all of the positive reasons why I should celebrate with a food that was healthier. But I wanted it. When I was a little girl, we would go to the Apple farm with my class every Fall. We would have cinnamon donuts and cider and it was my favorite trip every year. I recreate that experience every year for my daughter. The smell, the taste, the good memories – those are some of the reasons why I wanted that donut. As for my waistline – well life is short, was one donut going to make that much of a difference? What is that saying? “Life is short, eat the dessert.”

So, I bought the donut. When I got home, I warmed it up just a bit and then I ate the donut. Honestly, ate sounds too crude. I savored every bite of that donut. Was the pleasure worth it? ABSOLUTELY! Would I do it again? You bet! This is just one hour in the life of a someone recovering from body image disorders. It’s a beautiful thing when eating something doesn’t cause guilt or a desire to exercise at an insane level to make up for the sins of what would go in my mouth. Buying the donut was a little victory even if it wasn’t the healthiest thing for me. Everything in moderation, right? A donut every once in a while, will not make a difference if I make healthy choices the majority of the time. Can anyone relate? A few months ago, Rochester Media Association hosted a showing of the movie Embrace. It is a documentary about body image created by Taryn Brumfitt. The response to the showing was amazing. There was a waiting list to get in and many people were disappointed that they didn’t get to attend. The RMA is hosting a second showing with a panel discussion on June 9. For more details you can visit www.rochestermediaassoc.com. Body image is a pretty important topic in this community and I hope you go and see the movie if you haven’t already. It impacts so much more than the individual. Let’s continue to have great conversations about our body image and our health – mental and physical. I will look forward to seeing you there and maybe afterwards we can go grab a stinking donut to celebrate.

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

221

{ you can be...! } by mary therese friel

PUBLIC speaking Welcome to my column… You Can Be…! In my professional career I have had the pleasure of speaking in front of many audiences. In this installment, I will share many of my tips with you.

gift. They should use it wisely. They should be honest and not under any circumstance abuse that power. Most importantly, the role of a public speaker is to educate, inform, enlighten, entertain, ignite and excite!

Public speaking is putting communication into action. Communication is the process of sending and receiving information. It involves a speaker and a listener. A person skilled in the area of speaking publicly is called a public speaker. A public speaker’s job is to communicate information (send) in a professional manner to their audience. Their job is also to be sure that the information is accepted (received) by the audience and that an acknowledgment is made (feed back).

Some helpful hints for a successful presentation: 1.) Decide what you are going to speak about.  2.) Research your material.   3.) Make an outline.   4.) Write a script.   5.) Practice a lot!   6.) Make any necessary revisions. (It is important that you are happy with your speech).   7.) Decide on the manner in which you will deliver it.   8.) Decide on your manner of dress (with conservative always being the safest).   9.) Arrive on time.   10.) Introduce yourself to your audience. Be personable. 11.) Qualify yourself as their speaker (give them your credentials).   12.) Acknowledge and thank the person who invited you (and your audience for being there/ having you).   13.) Share ahead of time, what you are going to go over.   14.) Tell your audience what you hope they will “walk away with” from your speech.   15.) Give your speech.   16.) Open the floor to comments or questions afterwards (optional).   17.) Thank your audience for coming and for their attention.

There are many factors that determine what makes a good public speaker. Two of the factors are: content and delivery. When choosing the content, one must choose carefully and then research thoroughly. It should be appropriate in nature, interesting, understandable and applicable to their audience. A skilled speaker’s delivery must be clear, concise and intelligible. They should avoid too many umms, ands, uhhs, etc. They need to avoid negatives, overdoing it, going off on a tangent, being biased or too self-serving. It also helps to keep it moving, be smooth and not let it be too long. Different speakers prepare and deliver their speeches in different ways. Some memorize. Others rely on their script or notes on index cards. Some use a slide presentation, while others use an overhead projector or computer. A few speakers will even use an electronic aid such as a teleprompter. When a public speaker speaks, they must be aware of the power and impact that they have. It is the power to make a difference - it is a

Some Tips

The best speakers try to captivate their audiences, grabbing them and keeping them spell- bound. One way to do this is with good eye contact. A speaker will pick out a person and speak directly to them while other speakers choose to

do a “sweep” over or through the crowd. This enables them to get the feedback needed to “read” their audience. They can make changes as they go (called ad-libbing). By noting their reactions, they can adjust, if needed, any part of their presentation. They can also be sure that they have their audience’s full attention as well as their interest. When a speaker wants to make a point or add emphasis, they may pause, periodically. This technique is used to create interest, or initiate audience participation. Some speakers even allow breaks when a speech is very long. Breaks can allow for freshness, as well as digestion of material. Speakers may also invite feedback (questions, comments, suggestions), confirming their intended message has been correctly received.

Experience

A speaker has a responsibility to hone their skills, to offer their optimum “performance.” This is a combination of technique (including timing) and delivery. Their voice should be clear, sincere, smooth and tasteful in tone and projection. It should be loud enough but not shouting, quiet enough but not whispering, and pleasant. Inflection should be added. Stay away from monotones! Pronunciate and enunciate. Use words and text your audience will understand. Keep it simple! When giving a speech, don’t forget to express yourself; use your smile, your eyes, the tilt of your head, various expressions, etc., to help do this. Your body language should convey your confidence and authority. For example, be strong but relaxed. You may use your hands to gesture or emphasize a point (but only if they are not distracting). Props may also be used if they compliment, not overpower your ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

223

{ you can be... }

Even if and when you’ve done everything right, things can go wrong. Don’t panic! Keep focused. If any embarrassing moments should arise handle them with ease and dignity as well as good humor. You’ll get through it. Never overreact. It’s unbecoming and unprofessional. Remember, you’re in charge — never let them see you sweat!

PitfallS-The Audience

Public speakers sometimes “loose” their audience because their audience gets bored. Once lost, it’s difficult usually, to bring them back. A speaker needs to keep their audience “with them.” However, sometimes it is not the speaker that is boring, but the audience itself. They may be disinterested, tired, distracted, etc. If this happens, the speaker must try their best to turn the situation around.

The Message

A good public speaker makes sure that the content of the speech is tasteful. They do not use slang or swear words. They do not use 224

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

improper gestures or tell inappropriate jokes or stories. They do not give their audience any reason to doubt their sincerity, ability or credibility. The speaker must appear secure and in control and at all times, professional.

The Audiences’ Role

The audience as well as the speaker, is an important part of any successful presentation. As an audience member, you must be attentive, quiet and polite. You need to listen carefully. You may take notes, but do it discreetly. If you want to ask a question, raise your hand. Ask good questions that you really want to know the answers to. Don’t waste the speaker’s time. Show the speaker the respect you would expect. Sit up straight. Be alert. Do not make noises such as sighs, whispers, yawns, tapping, snapping, clicking or giggling. This is rude and distracting behavior. Before even entering the presentation area, remember to turn down your cell phone. Be thoughtful. If by chance you must leave during a presentation, do it discreetly and quietly.

In Summary

Public speaking is a platform that allows you to express yourself and share your knowledge, thoughts and interests with others. This job requires a professional. You must act like one! Your audience is there to take whatever you have to offer. Give them quality. Remember one very important thing. Once your audience has come in contact with you via your (your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions and your opinions, they have been touched by you forever and that matters. Make it count! Leave a little bit of yourself each time. (Don’t worry you have plenty!) What you give will come back 10-fold. A final note: do a self-evaluation after you’ve completed your speech/presentation and decide whether you felt you did a good job. Is there anything you would want to change, add, or delete? If you were happy with it, give yourself a little “congratulations!”. One more suggestion/ thought…you may even want to invite your audience to help with the evaluation process, by asking them to fill out a questionnaire or evaluation sheet, so that you know how they felt.

{ woman owned businesses }

When You Mention This Ad and Receive 20% OFF a Full Set of Mink Lash Extensions First time clients receive a gift bag too! Cici’s Salon 1068 Stone Rd Rochester NY 14616 forever_lash_and_waxingllc

Wesley Clark & Bates, LLP is one of the only majority women owned law firms in Rochester. A cornerstone of our practice is a close relationship among attorneys and with each client; this enables us to address a client’s present legal issue and also future planning and goals. Our firm is unique in that we have a general practice, where each attorney focuses primarily on one area of the law. Our attorneys’ experience is varied and wide reaching. Our practice areas include but are not limited to Family and Matrimonial Law, Personal Injury, Wrongful Death, DWI, Criminal Defense, Real Estate, Wills, Trusts and Estate Planning. Call (585)546-1734 today! I wesleyclarkandbates.com

{ woman owned businesses }

S Dear Sarah, Who do I have to become in order to experience the life I want to experience? Who do I have to be in order to find what I’ve been searching for so long? Thanks, Jessica

{ ask the angels } By Sarah Itkin, LCSW

Dear Jessica,

The angels are saying you don’t have to become anything. You just have to be. Be your fierce, wild, independent, intuitive, brilliant, talented, creative self and the life you want for yourself will manifest. The angels are telling me that you must recognize that your path is very different from the norm so don’t compare yourself to others. Celebrate the fact that you are achieving your life’s purpose. In many ways, you are the person you want to become! Honor this by holding a celebration for yourself. Living authentically is a huge challenge in today’s society, yet you are doing this every day of your life successfully. You mentioned in your email that you see the number 444 everywhere and you are aware that angels communicate to us through repetitive number sequences. I go to the Joanne Sacred Scribes website to look up the meanings behind each number. The meanings that stand out to me in regards to your question are that you are encouraged to continue on your current path and that you have “nothing to fear in regards to your life, work, and divine life purpose”. You go through emotional peaks and valleys. When you’re at your peak, you feel connected to your angels and spirit guides. You’re tapped into your essence, feeling at one with source. Your creativity flows with ease, and miracles start to occur. Then you feel blocked when you enter the valleys. The dark, messy moments we all experience when self-doubt and fear rear their heads. I feel that your emotions shift rapidly as you’re very sensitive to the energy around you. You also walk with anxiety and depression as a result of your biochemistry. You have a diligent practice of self-care. Please congratulate yourself for having the discipline and awareness to face these emotions head on! What might be missing is your ability to make friends with your beautiful mess. Embrace the fact that this aspect of yourself is also a guiding force behind your creativity and you will be able to release it more readily. This is much easier said than done, and some things in life are too much to work through on your own. Your tendency is to retreat when you feel unbalanced. You would benefit from ongoing support from a psychotherapist, intuitive healer, and/or coach. The angels are showing me an image of someone taking your hand and providing loving support as you walk down a path in the woods. You respond with love and are able to return to your center with more ease.

Dear Sarah,

What is my purpose? Like, how do I find out what I am supposed to be doing with my life to feel like I have more purpose? I want to be successful, love what I do, and make a difference. Katie

Dear Katie,

You are a kind, loving, and supportive person to your friends and family. The angels want you to know that you already have a great many successes to be proud of. Look into the eyes of your children to feel the reward of your greatest success, being an excellent mother. You raise your children in such a way that they feel safe to express their uniqueness and feel comfortable in who they are. They each have special talents which you encourage them to pursue, and this allows them the freedom to live life authentically. Motherhood is one aspect of your life’s purpose, and you have even more to offer the world. I see you channeling your gifts as a caregiver into different career options which will result in you fulfilling your life purpose. I see you supporting a business enterprise that you believe in, working in schools with young children either as an employee or volunteer, providing one-to-one care for someone with special needs, or all of the above. I’d like to focus on showing you how to clear blocks towards fulfilling your life’s purpose rather than telling you more about what your life’s purpose is. We enter the world with a set of challenges to overcome in order to fulfill our highest potential. Your challenge is deepening self-love and overcoming a lifetime worth of anxiety and low self-esteem. This will give you the courage to step into the career that will be most fulfilling. The messages for you are very similar to the messages I received for Jessica. You try to cope with your anxiety on your own, but you need someone outside yourself to help guide you. You also need to turn the love and support you give others towards yourself. Listen to the words of encouragement you offer your friends and family. Write them down and recite them to yourself. You can also recite several affirmations. The angels want you to focus on this affirmation specifically: “I am worthy of the love I give to others”. Also give yourself the same loving gestures you give others, such as buying little presents and cooking your favorite meal even if your family doesn’t like it. Just don’t tell them I said so! I’m looking forward to hearing from more of you! Please email your question to asktheangels777@yahoo.com. Type Ask the Angels in the subject line and indicate how I should address you (using your real name, just initials, etc…) in my response. Feel free to visit my website if you’d like to schedule a reading or learn more about my offerings at www.sarahitkin.com or find me on Facebook at @sarahitkinintuitivehealer. DISCLAIMER: Despite confirmed psychic ability, intuitive visions and messages are not always 100% accurate. Therefore, Sarah Itkin and any sponsors must disclaim any and all liability to all persons and parties who act or rely upon her intuition. This column is for entertainment purposes only.

{ healthy woman }

? Does It Do? By Cassondra Kubit

What

CUPPINGIs It What

Cupping, is a term that has come to the limelight since the Olympic Games. What is heck cupping? Why did Michael Phelps and the Olympic Swim Team have hickey marks all over their bodies? Cupping is an awesome treatment. It can be combined with a massage treatment, an Acupuncture treatment, or it can also be used as a standalone treatment. Cupping is a technique that has been practiced in Traditional Chinese Medicine for thousands of years. It is treatment method that is widely used in many Asian and European countries for a wide range of ailments. In recent years, cupping has really grown in its popularity in the United States. As we all saw that many athletes in the Olympic games were having cupping treatments to help with their pain. There are also numerous celebrities including Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston, Victoria Beckham, Jessica Simpson and Lady Gaga get regular treatments. So, what exactly is cupping you are wondering? Cupping is a technique performed by Acupuncturists and Massage Therapists that use applying cups to the skin. Cups can be made from bamboo or plastic, but the most common is made of glass. The plastic cups are used with

a vacuum that pulls the air out of the cup. It can be a plugged in a machine or a hand operated machine. The glass cups are used by placing a burning, alcohol-soaked cotton ball inside of the glass cup. This removes all the oxygen in it and creates a vacuum. The cotton ball is quickly removed and the cup is turned upside down and placed on the patient. The vacuum, created by the lack of oxygen, anchors the cup in place and raises the underlying tissue partway into the cup. Cupping is generally done on the fleshy areas of the body, most commonly on the back, legs and shoulders. It can be performed on the abdomen, arms and even on the face and neck. Cupping produces blood flow, improves circulation and pulls toxins out of the body. In turn, it promotes healing, improves health and provides numerous benefits. Stress relief, pain, allergies, asthma and chest congestion, arthritis, gastrointestinal disorders, fatigue, muscle aches, colds and flu are just a few conditions that can be treated by cupping. Cupping is rarely painful. Rather, most patients find it relaxing and soothing. One way to think about cupping is that

is it the reverse of massage. Rather than applying pressure to the muscles and tissues, the suction uses pressure to pull the skin, tissues and muscles upwards to reduce tension and promote relaxation. This is a great treatment for myofascial tightness and pain. There are several methods of cupping that can be performed. Cupping can be split into two categories wet cupping and dry cupping. Dry cupping can be broken down into three different styles: Static Cupping, Massage Cupping and Flash Cupping. Static cupping is the most common style of cupping. It involves placing the cup upon a sufficiently lubricated skin. The cup is left in one place. In Static Cupping the practitioner will place multiple cups in the areas of needing treatment. This is the easiest treatment to do when there are multiple areas needing treatment. This style helps stimulate deep localized blood circulation, lymphatic drainage and synovial fluid movement. Massage Cupping involves the movement of the cup over the skin. The skin has to be sufficiently lubricated to allow a lower suction and easy gliding across the skin. This is used to shake up cellular

waste, helps break down tissue adhesions (like trigger points), stimulates the nerves, releases myofascial tension, skin rejuvenation, and cellulite reduction. Flash cupping is a technique that uses suction applied to the skin in very shot intervals, or â&#x20AC;&#x153;flashesâ&#x20AC;?. This means the cup is placed on the skin for 5 seconds at a time before the pressure is released and the next spot is worked on. This is usually used when the face is being worked on. Flash cupping is great for sinus issues and cosmetic beauty enhancement. It encourages healthy movement of cellular fluid and reduces the risk of lingering marks that cupping tends to leave. Each of these styles can be combined or used separately depending on what is being treated.

234

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Wet cupping involves making tiny cuts into the skin with a three-prong needle, lancets, or scalpels. After the scraping of the skin a cup is placed over the are to suck up the blood. The therapist may apply pressure to help speed up the flow of blood. The cut is later treated with antiseptic ointment and bandaged. Wet cupping can be dated back to Hippocrates and is used to help relieve pain. If you are looking to try cupping there are a few precautions to be taken under consideration. People whose immune systems are weak, the very elderly, and children who are dehydrated should not have cupping. Cupping should not be applied immediately after having a bath or after an abortion. Patients who have had a valve transplant should

avoid cupping. Patients who have blood clotting issues should not have cupping done. Cupping is not recommended for pregnant women in their first trimester. When it comes to cupping make sure that you are seeing someone who has been trained and takes a thorough health history intake. Cupping has contraindications and precautions that need to be taken into account before a treatment is rendered.

INTRODUCING MASSAGERITAS CHOOSE FROM ANY OF THESE 4 SERVICES STARTING AT JUST $75: The Traditional Massagerita Massagerita on the Rocks Frozen Massagerita Frozen Massagerita with Salt

HEALING MASSAGE RETREAT

BLDG C, 550 Latona Rd #305 I Rochester, NY 14626 I (585) 227-6816 healingmassageretreat.com I FOLLOW US on facebook

{ it’s a Rw secret }

HIGH PRICED ARTWORK AND BREAKOUT GAMES by CASSONDRA KUBIT

High Priced Artwork, Kidnappings, Hostages, Spying, High Stake Robberies…

The list can go on and on. The adrenaline filled excitement that those words bring to mind sounds like one exciting movie to watch, but we aren’t talking about movie. The craze of the Breakout Games has finally hit Rochester, NY. Date night has once again found Mike and I trying to find something to do that doesn’t involve dinner, going to a bar or a movie and of course no cell phones allowed. We came across Breakout while surfing the web and we thought we’d give it a try. We went to their website and read all about their 4 rooms. You have the exciting Kidnapping where you are actually handcuffed and blindfolded with your fellow comrades. You are set the task to escape the “locked” room within 60 minutes. You have to find the clues hidden within the room. There is the Museum Heist where you have been hired by the museum to break into a thieves’ home who has stolen a valuable piece of artwork. They say this is the hardest of the 4 rooms that they have. You have to search the rooms to find all of the clues to break into the home and then to break back out with the stolen artwork. Then there is the Operation: Casino where you are a spy searching for a missing agent. You are looking for the ones who are responsible for his disappearance by following each clue.

And the fourth room is the Hostage. You are on an airplane when your plane is hijacked. You “wake up” trapped and handcuffed with the other hostages and you have to find a way out and escape within 60 minutes. They are planning on releasing a 5th room the Island Escape. You are vacationing on a tropical island and there is a volcano. You have to escape the island before the volcano erupts.

Their website breakoutgames.com have some fun videos that introduce you to each escape so you have an idea of what you are getting yourself and your friends into. Each room is booked for an hour and can hold up to 8 people. They have an easy to use website that you can see which rooms are available at what time. Mike picked the Museum Heist because he felt that I would enjoy that one the best, not knowing that it was the hardest of the rooms. We booked a Sunday night game hoping to have the room to ourselves so we could truly enjoy working together to solve the mystery. We drove out to 3300 Monroe Ave for our date night. We weren’t too sure if we were in the right place at first but once we walked in the door we saw the sign that said Breakout on the 3rd floor. We rode up an elevator that set the mood of the whole night. It was an older elevator that would probably only fit 4 people. It took us to the third floor and we were greeted with a beautiful hotel feel with skylights. The elevator and the skylights made you feel like you were nowhere in Rochester, NY but some far off place. We were greeted at the door of the Breakout games by a very polite staff. We were happy to find out that we were the only ones in the Museum Heist. We were told that this was the hardest room and because the room wasn’t booked after us if we needed more time we would be allowed to have more time, which was very nice. Our gamemaster for the night led us to the room while explaining

BY ALANA CAHOON

that she would not be in the room with us but would be watching us and giving us hints as the game went on. They were a little concerned with it being the two of us trying to figure out all of the clues, but we were assured that if we needed help they would grant us help. We enter the first room and out game master made sure to let us know that the doors were not locked and we could leave at any time if we needed to step out. The first room looked like someone’s front door which of course that is what it was supposed to look like saying we were breaking into someone’s home to steal artwork that he had stolen. Once our gamemaster pressed start on the clock we started searching for clues on how to break into this guy’s home.

We made short work of the first room and moved into the second room. The second room was full of locked cases and boxes that we had to figure out all of the codes to get into them. We had a black light to start with and as we started finding clues and breaking clues we were adding more and more things to our collection. We got through to the third room with 15 minutes left in the game. We had to figure out how to get the stolen artwork and then the codes to get back out of the rooms. There were word games, number games, hide and seek games, and maps. We ended up finishing the game with 4 minutes to spare. We couldn’t believe how fast the game went. Mike ranked this date night as 9.5/10. He wants to do it again and I am sure we will be finding our way back to the Breakout games.

I believe the next one we will be doing is the Kidnapping and we may just end up doing them all. If you have wanted to try an escape game then you need to make your way to 3300 Monroe Ave and tryout Breakout. Take a friend, a group of friends, it can also be used as a team building project for work. Enjoy the mysteries of escaping.

238

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ everyday push } by tracy echeverri

STOP JUST

STOP! So it’s May. The warm weather is almost here and everyone is going on their trips and dieting to look fabulous in their swim suits. And this is when I hear women all over saying the same crazy diets. I’m on a “no carb diet” I’m on a “no sugar diet” and these chicks are attempting to physically never have sugar or carbs for this limited time and to be honestits practically impossible and pointless. You eliminate these carbs and sugars and you are supposedly working out more than you ever do or just starting to exercise and this leaves you miserable, exhausted and you will have no energy or ability to focus on anything but when you will be sleeping next or the next time you can eat a whole loaf of bread. STOP Just STOP. You need carbs. You need sugar. These are things you need to consume in a diet to be normal, sane and I don’t know not go absolutely bonkers! You need to understand what you should and shouldn’t be eating. And this is not always easy. But the second you get your head around it- it will all fall into place. My focus in this article is Carbohydrates. We need carbs. Carbs are fuel. They give you energy. Carbs are needed for not only physical activity but also brain function and the operation of the internal organs! Not only that they’re needed even for intestinal health and waste elimination--So you need carbs. Period! But if you don’t utilize the carbs you ingest, they then get broken down and turn into sugar

and sit in your body and that’s how people gain weight. Now- when I say utilize the carbs, I mean burn them off. If you sit all day in a desk you should not be consuming a huge amount of carbs and you should be eating more vegetables and lean protein (chicken, fish). But if you work in a warehouse and are moving and lifting boxes all day- you should be eating more carbs then someone who sits in an office but most of us are struggling to be active I know I have said this before but I personally avoid processed carbs (ie: pasta, rice and breads) all together. I normally skip these most days with maybe a slice a bread at dinner with my meal. Processed carbs/fake carbs are what I call “man made.” These carbs are made in factories and are not from the earth. Processed carbs also absorb slower in your body and its harder for you to burn them off.

Not the carbohydrates that are in a carrot or a potato. There are carbs in practically everything but you should avoid the processed/ fake ones as much as possible and they should be limited. I am not saying you never eat rice or pasta or hell a doughnut but you should not be eating it everyday and if anything you need to focus on your portions being small and/or limited and again loading up on more vegetables over everything else! So again preferably I avoid breads, rices and pastas. If i do eat bread I will never buy white bread. When you buy bread choose multi grain

breads,wheat, rye and/or pumpernickel- but never buy white bread. EVER! Rice- do not buy white rice but go for the brown rice and again measure with moderation when consuming. So what am i getting at? Like almost every article i write-- EAT CLEAN. Natural foods. Carrots, apples, lettuce, chicken, fish, pears and beans. Fill your daily diet with natural food. Real Food. Eat the grapes and skip the grape flavored juice drink. Not boxed macaroni and cheese, or powdered mashed potato flakes. Instead Boil some multi grain pasta with some real cheese for your kids and actually boil some real potatoes and mash them yourselves and add some natural tasty seasonings. Unfortunately cooking healthy isn’t always fast and easy and that’s where you need to find a happy balance and make eating healthy a top priority. Our bodies need to stay healthy and strong for a long time and eating right and taking care of this body needs to be important. It needs to come before other things on your list and especially when you are not just feeding yourself but your family as well. Eat good, be happy and learn to enjoy being healthy. It is a great feeling and can be a huge change in ones life but it is one change you will never ever regret.

Peace & love!!!

240

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ a woman’s perspective } by jill burress I photo by Amelia Neusatz

AM I THE M E A NES T MOTHER IN THE WORLD?

Oh the busy month of May! Wait, its almost Mother’s Day so all of you mothers better have a day of relaxation in the plans. How about a day at the spa with warm stones and soft, elevator music? And don’t forget to pamper your nails.

If they are like mine, they are splitting at the ends from cleaning too much, so go get that taken care of before they all break off and then you’re left with nothing to paint. Take time to go shopping all by yourself and look at all the stuff in the store that you typically pass by when you stick to the grocery list because everyone needs you all the time! Stop by Starbucks and indulge in the coffee that you haven’t bought yourself in a long time because you don’t have time or you don’t spend money like that anymore. Oh all of this dreaming…just kidding. Stop dreaming, Mom! I just blinked and here I am. Typing away at this article with no massage in the plans, no manicure on the horizon and coffee from the coffeemaker because it saves time and money! Mothering is short lived, the few years we have with our children will outlast the minutes of pampering lost due to time spent with our family. Someday Ill have my time, when my kids are in college or working a full time job. We will miss these days! Well, either way, to all you mothers in the world, “Happy Mother’s Day.” And to all readers who aren’t mothers but you were raised by Mom, this article below will hopefully make you chuckle. You see, I found this old yellowed newspaper article in my grandmother’s cookbook. Yes, in her cookbook. To my surprise, when I opened her book after she passed a couple years ago, I realized that my grandmother had saved so many articles, Bible verses, phone numbers, and pictures of people cut out of the newspaper. The cookbook is a treasure chest of words of wisdom from my grandma. What a gift! So, here goes. The famous, Ann Landers was at it again with her ever so blunt advice column, which was initially printed over fifty years ago. Don’t let time fool you though, read it and see if you feel that it still rings true today. The column is titled, “The Meanest Mother in the World.” I had the meanest mother in the world. While other kids had candy for breakfast, I had to eat cereal, eggs and toast. While other kids had cola and candy for lunch, I had a sandwich. As you can guess, my dinner was different from other kids’ dinners, too. My mother insisted on knowing where we were at all times. You’d think we were

on a chain gang or something. She had to know who our friends were and what we were doing. I am ashamed to admit it, but she actually had the nerve to break the child labor law. She made us work. We had to wash dishes, make the beds and learn how to cook. That woman must have stayed awake nights thinking up things for us kids to do. And she always insisted that we tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. By the time we were teenagers, she was much wiser and our life became even more unbearable. None of this tooting the car horn for us to come running; she embarrassed us to no end by insisting that the boys come to the door to get us. I forgot to mention that most of our friends were allowed to date at the mature age of 12 and 13, but our old-fashioned mother refused to let us date until we were 15. She really raised a bunch of squares. None of us was ever arrested for shoplifting or busted for dope. And who do we have to thank for this? You’re right, our Mean Mother. I am trying to raise my children to stand a little straighter and taller and I am secretly tickled to pieces when my children call me mean. I thank God for giving me the meanest mother in the world. Our country doesn’t need a good fivecent cigar. It needs more mean mothers like mine. Blessings on That Wonderful Woman. And blessings to you, Mother. Happy Mother’s Day! Jill Burress is a full time Speech-Language Pathologist at NTID/RIT along with another full time schedule of “randomness.” As a pastor’s wife and mother of 2, she is passionate about inspiring women to be the best they can be! She is currently Mrs. Flower City in the Mrs. New York America Pageant. Find her on Facebook, Instagram and discovervictory.com.

{ hypnotized with RWO }

FOOD. FOOD. EVERYWHERE FOOD! By H Douglas Jones M.Ed.

As I write this, I have passed the pantry four times since getting home from the office. Twice I have actually opened it to peruse the contents looking for a tasty snack. I know I have just about one hour until dinner but I can’t help looking for something now. I’m using willpower to ignore the temptation and wait until dinner.

to rely on sheer willpower to avoid that snack or cookie. The Wikipedia definition of hypnosis is: Hypnosis is a state of human consciousness involving focused attention and reduced peripheral awareness and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion.

Certified hypnosis professionals consult and guide you through the hypnosis process to help you reach your desired results. However, through self-hypnosis everyone has the ability to use this hypnotic state of mind to influence their own habits.

S teps to SelfHypnosis

Have you ever passed up those delicious cookies in the break room only to return a few minutes later just to see what is left?

Instructions: Follow these steps first thing in the morning and right before you go to sleep. 1. Sit in a comfortable chair and place your hands on your lap.

When you return that second time, do you pass them up again or just take a cookie that would have been your second choice?

2. Focus on a spot just above eye level.

Willpower is a funny thing. It’s a great tool to motivate you to do something (or not do something) “in the moment” but it only lasts a few seconds to maybe a minute. Forming good habits, on the other hand, is a consistent, predictable way to positively influence a desired behavior. Willpower helps, but habits are the key to change. Hypnosis creates habits, so you don’t have

3. Take three long, slow deep breaths and relax.

mouth on the count of 6. Do the terms “flow state” or “in-the-zone” ring any bells? Those are hypnotic states of mind where you block out everything else because you are so focused on a task. Hypnosis can help put you “in-the-zone” to create the good habits.

4. Breathe in through your nose to the count of 5. Breath out your

5. Repeat breathing exercise 3 times. 6. Now close your eyes and repeat the below affirmation 10 times. Press a finger down on your lap each time

The Wikipedia definition of hypnosis is: Hypnosis is a state of human consciousness involving focused attention and reduced peripheral awareness and an enhanced capacity to respond to suggestion.

you say the phrase so you don’t lose count.

“Everyday, in every respect, I get better and better and I eat healthy foods when I am hungry.”

7. When you finish, count to 3. 8. Open your eyes and say “wide-awake feeling great.” Food will always be in front of you… cookies and treats staring you down, tempting you to take a bite. Self-hypnosis is a strategy and tool to change your habits. The more you practice, the better you will get.

About the Author H. Douglas Jones is the owner of Jones Hypnosis and the Howie Hypnotize Comedy Hypnosis Show. He is a Board Certified Hypnotist (BCH) and instructor with the National Guild of Hypnotists.

Call today to get started! Fairport & Greece locations

POUNDS

joneshypnosis.com

Text Drop10 to 44222 for a free Food Planner standard messages and data rates apply.

Mention this ad and save $50 on your first appointment!

244

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ 40 something and fried } BY DARCIA KUNKLE

I will concede that I am a bit of an anomaly - I actually LOVE to cook. It has been a hobby of mine since I was young. Cooking relaxes me, and I am good at it. Maybe is my Italian heritage. I currently have a stack of recipes clipped from my favorite foodie magazine that I am dying to try. Problem is that I don’t have the time that I used to. How do busy moms keep their sanity? Sometimes it is a well-planned out homemade dinner. Occasionally it is a fast-food drive-through window. Most of the time, it is somewhere in between. I am certainly not a food-planning guru, but I have learned a few tips along the way. What are the main concerns I hear from today’s stressed-out moms? • Nutrition: too much fast food. • No time. • Budget constraints.

Healthy Meal Choices – In my

Busy Mom Meals Finding Food Sanity and Life Balance

I am a mom, a spouse and an author. Preparing family meals day after day is usually the last thing on my mind. Often burned out from being everything to everyone, I don’t have the time, energy or personal chef to feed five people three squares a day. Whether you are a stay-at-home mom or work outside of the home, the struggle is real.

new book, 40-Something and Fried, I discuss the lost art of cooking the “happy meal” that plagues frazzled moms. Choking down fast food has become the norm for so many, yet we are constantly food-shamed by messages to eat clean, organic and natural foods. You don’t have to go nuts with kale, chia seeds, beets, or any of the other latest super food crazes to make a healthy meal for your family. When it comes to meal prep, I use the acronym KISS – keep it simple stupid: • The fewer ingredients, the better. • Fresh ingredients are best. • Skip pre-made meals in a box. • Eat a variety of REAL foods. • Not all foods need to be organic – especially if they have an outside peel/shell – like bananas, onions, avocados and sweet corn. • Fresh fruits and veggies are best; frozen fresh is next! On grocery runs, I try to stick to a list and shop primarily around the outside of the grocery store. That is where the fruits, vegetables, meats and dairy products are located. Most of the processed, packaged junk is located within the middle aisles. I will throw in some dark chocolate on occasion…. I am not totally delusional! I just avoid unnatural items like potatoes in a box or shelved pre-cooked bacon.

Time Savers – Many restaurants tout

“healthy” food delivery. By the time food is ordered and delivered, you could have stir fried some meat and veggies, and served them alongside a 10-minute rice blend. Now that nutritional values have been made readily available, many restaurant choices are not as healthy as they claim to be. What other food hacks save time? • Casseroles can be healthy, time-saving, economical and comforting. Prep the night before or freeze ahead. • Semi-homemade is not evil. The pasta may not be homemade, but you can cook some high-fiber noodles; use a jarred pesto or quick Marinara; and add a few shrimp to make a healthy meal. • Get your kids and spouse involved. After all, they should learn how to cook and appreciate food too!

• Stock up on basics. With veggies, meats and pastas on hand, you will always have quick meal options. • Crock pots are back in! Add ingredients in the morning and forget about it! Soups and stews are fabulous crock choices. • Try breakfast for dinner, or make a bunch of appetizers as a meal. • The Big Salad – a salad full of ingredients like mixed greens, chicken breast nuggets, veggies, sunflower seeds, boiled eggs, and cheese is always a hit! • Get Grilling! Throw on a lean meat and a side veggie, and you are done! • Fruits, Oatmeal and Eggs for breakfast instead of instant cereal. They are quick and much better for you.

Money Matters – Most of us can’t afford

a personal chef, continuous food delivery or endless restaurants. How do you create meals within a budget without becoming a crazy couponer? • Avoid portioned food and spices that arrive in a box. While appealing to singles or small families with large incomes, they just don’t make economic sense for larger families. • Choose in-season fruits and vegetables, and watch for meat specials. • Buy store brands for basic items; and use phone apps with digital coupons. • Leftovers are food too. Take some to work for lunch. • Meatless Mondays and Taco Tuesdays – make up your own day of the week favorites! • Stock a variety of spices, a good olive oil, and a few flavorful cheeses. They guarantee the biggest bang for the buck. • Make your own coffee. You you can add fancy creamers and syrups, and it will still be cheaper than that overpriced store-bought Venti.

Food Sanity - I admit that some days I

struggle to be creative with food options. When my children were smaller, I went to great lengths to make cute kiddie food. Now I just try to get good options on the table that everyone likes at a decent time. I confess that my older girls probably got a lot more of my “creativity” than my son. The need to make Mickey Mouse-shaped pancakes had passed. I do try to make healthy choices, but I no longer lament stopping at an occasional drive-through or the yearly Halloween candy stash. Who has the time or energy for all that guilt? Fads come and go. My family is still happy and still healthy. Go ahead and try that recipe you saw on TV, in a magazine or from a Facebook post, but please do not spend the next three weeks obsessing about how you can’t stay on the Paleo diet, or that you occasionally stop for fast food. Oh, and don’t forget the chocolate and wine every now and then! Keep it real; keep it simple; and forget about it! full time schedule of “randomness.” As a pastor’s wife and mother of two, she is passionate about inspiring women to be the best they can be! Find her on Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/ mrsflowercity/ and www.discovervictory.com Dress designed by Mary Ellen Hill: https://www.facebook. com/bespokedesignsroc/ Make up by Diamond Expressions Studio: https://www. facebook.com/search/top/?q=diamond%20expressions%20studio

246

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ CNY Latino } by Marisol Hernandez

Leading a Healthy Life Suellen Pineda is a Honduran-born bilingual Culinary Registered Dietitian Nutritionist. Suellen received her Bachelor’s of Science degree in Nutrition, Food Studies and Public Health from New York University and completed a Dietetic Internship through Syracuse University. She also holds a Professional Cooking Certificate.

Suellen says; “Latin American food is incredibly vast, with each country treasuring their own native ingredients, dishes, flavor combinations, cooking techniques and so much more”. At a young age Suellen enjoyed being in the kitchen. She remembers always going to the kitchen section of the magazines that her mom bought. Reminiscing that she never thought at time that she would take Nutrition as a career later in life. “Eventually, I was interested in knowing about the meals, not only the taste or how to prepare them, but also what is better than something else, what’s healthier, what was unhealthy, what happens after you eat or drink refreshments.”

She moved to Rochester about 4 years ago with her husband Dr. Alexander Baez. They have two boys 15 and 7 years old. “Growing up in Honduras was very different than here in the states,” Suellen says, now that she is raising a family in Rochester. “Everything, for me, for example, the lifestyle, the environment, the language was different. I had to adapt gradually to those changes that were given me,” she says. Some of those changes that drew Suellen’s attention were the concepts of abundance, over consumerism and food accessibility. Those became more apparent; particularly readily accessible food, availability of it around the clock, without having to even to leave home. That in and of itself, Suellen believes, is one of the contributing factors that has worsen many public health concerns, including the rise in Diabetes and other chronic diseases in the country. Thus, Suellen has found her passion to work with individuals and groups on education in concepts of good health, nutrition and wellness. Her main areas of interest within the nutrition field are healthy cooking, food culture and health promotion. She has worked on these issues through the implementation of nutrition education modules, nutrition counseling, recipe development, cooking demonstrations and food and nutrition-related articles. She is a strong believer that individuals can reduce the risks of many chronic diseases such as diabetes and high blood pressure by gaining basic competency in the kitchen, developing a healthy relationship with food as well as learning about basic sound nutrition information. In addition, she believes in appreciating the foods, ingredients and cooking methods that reflect one’s culture.

For Suellen having a mix of clientele gives her an edge in being diverse and learning more about other people’s culture, their food, their habits and integrating all that she learns from her clients to assist them in making the changes they need to make to lead healthier life. So she thinks it’s important for people to know that incorporating basic cooking techniques into everyday life is definitely vital for people to “Take control of their health”, says Suellen. She has been helping people who are considering bariatric surgery. It is crucial to empathize with clients, meeting at where they are, and helping them achieve realistic goals,” Suellen points out. She has also helped the Hispanic community, which has one the highest incidence of obesity and obesity related issues in the nation. “More physicians and other health care providers are

now seeing the crucial role that Dietitians play in the prevention of chronic diseases,” Suellen says. Another approach in which Suellen has helped individuals is through food and nutrition writing. Suellen enjoys contributing recipes and articles about information on nutrition, to help the community to discern trends from real facts. “Trends in nutrition come out daily. You see new information all the time, usually something that cures everything, or that makes you lose weight almost instantaneously.” There is always this, the market generates products for people who are interested in improving their health, but unfortunately that is not real, or is not based on science, it is only something that sells, for them to make a profit,” shares Suellen. That is why so many times her purpose is to educate people so they can distinguish between something that looks promising, but that at the end it’s something the creators just want to sell and make money out of, “most likely very unrealistic.” Suellen says. For Suellen and her family, the fact that she is a Nutritionist has not changed the expectation about cooking and enjoying food as a family. She thinks people out there have some stereotypes. “We go back to the labels they put on us, because if you’re Latina, then it’s like you suddenly cook tacos, or you prepare a particular food like tostones”, says Suellen. And at the same time, people ask her “Do you eat that?” It is assumed that as a nutritionist it is not something she should eat, because it is fried or it has salt. She believes that these labels are the ones that do not work for us. Suellen helps people understand that at the end it is a matter of knowing, obviously eating with moderation, learning what to eat, learning to enjoy food, trying to eat the least processed foods possible, learning to enjoy our culture, because yes, tostones are part of her culture, and therefore she does eat them once in a while. Suellen is always educating people to know that our Hispanic food is so varied depending on the parts of South America to Mexico and the Caribbean, it is not only rice and beans as people often think”, shares Suellen. “We are many countries and each brings a different gastronomy. It is time to end the stereotypes that enclose our Latino culture, be proud of it, and recognize the Latino contributions to society and in the process help people live their lives more healthfully. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

247

ALL FOR THE SAKE OF CONVENIENCE

{ in her defense } by dave jenkins

This recurring column by Dave Jenkins of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC will explore different areas and methods of personal protection and self defense. Topics will range from using specific tools, techniques, or even yourself and your mind as the weapon. The goal is to create a more aware and safer you! Questions or suggestions are welcome! In today’s hectic life, we always look for ways to maximize our efficiency and do more with less. When that happens, we usually end up compromising our security, personal information, or more. All for the sake of convenience. Online dating is starting to grow way beyond what most people have thought. This growth brings a LOT of opportunity, as well as nearly the same level of risk. With a plethora of apps and websites, it’s hard not to be drawn into the ease and convenience of this idea, right? What are the advantages to online dating apps and sites? Well, for one, you can comb through a lot of people in a short time, and you can set specific parameters for searching so you end up with a pool of ‘more likely than not’ candidates to choose from. You can also initially communicate with ones that pique your interest without revealing too much of your private information. When people ask me, the personal security expert, how to be safer online, I have one immediate answer: “DON’T”. It’s just easier to avoid it altogether. But, since you really have to try online dating and want to be just like everyone else, or just have exhausted your everyday options and need to utilize a different method, here are some things you need to consider: Your informational safety, personal safety, stalking, scams, and overall fraud. Before you begin, you should consider taking the following steps. The first is to set up an email account just for this purpose. This way, that specific email can collect all of the messages, notifications, ‘winks’, or contacts in one place so you don’t bet bombarded by tons of email messages. You can then go to the inbox at your leisure and sort through them. You’ll also be subjected to an increased amount of ‘spam’, phishing emails, and more fraud. This method will keep you from compromising your computer or phone. Then, set up Google Voice proxy number. It’s easy (and free!) to do, and you won’t be giving out your own private number. The person on the other end only sees your Google Voice number. This way, you can change it or delete it and your own number is still secure. When you set up your profile, pick a username that does not include your real name or other identifying information such as your work, home, or hobbies. Avoid the overtly sexual or flirty usernames as well. You’ll attract attention

but it will most likely be the wrong kind. Be careful about linking your online dating profile to your Facebook one. A savvy or dedicated searcher can find out a lot about you by digging into your FB page. One tip is to use a different variation of your name or a different name altogether. I’ve seen where quite a few women will use their middle names as last names, or they’ll use their own first name and someone else’s first name or last name on their profile. Here’s a hint: the VERY FIRST thing someone does if they wish to find out about you is to look you up on Google or Facebook. Want to see what they’d see? Google or Facebook search for your name and see what you find. Disable any ‘location sharing’ features on the application. This not only tells you where others that meet your criteria may be, it also works the other way too: it tells others where YOU are. This could present a problem if a criminal finds out your home address and is then able to tell if you are there or not by looking at your current location information on the dating site. If you are going to post a profile picture, ask yourself: Would I be worried if someone I know sees this picture? Consider a respectful, neutral setting with normal dress, not anything too revealing or compromising. (Same goes for Facebook profiles too!) Also, remove any ‘geotagging’ information from your pictures. This is where your phone and computer may store location info in the data of the image. You can deselect this feature on your smartphone very easily. Now, while you are browsing, avoid anyone that immediately gives you pause or ‘that feeling’ and move on. Your intuition is usually pretty good and don’t override it for any reason. Stay in control of your private info. Don’t send anything right away, let it take time. Share as you feel comfortable. Remember, once you put it out there, you won’t get it back. Stop communicating with anyone that tries to pressure you into providing any information, be it personal or financial, or otherwise. Report them to the service provider as well. Requests for money, or unacceptable / suspicious behavior should be a RED LIGHT for you. Do your own research. Remember when I said that most people will look you up to find information about you? Do the same! See if they are listed on other social media sites like Facebook, Linkdin, etc. Or, do a Google image search on their profile picture. What about that face to face meeting? Eventually, you’ll find someone that has your interest and you decide that it’s time to meet. Here are some important tips: 1. Plan it, say it, do it. Do not deviate. Thais is YOUR date. You decide when, where, and

how long. Don’t get pressured into changing the time, location, or other details 2. Meet in public and stay in public. Drive or arrive there on your own and leave on your own, not with the other person. Moving to a private environment should be done only after you have ensured that you are still in charge and that you are making the decision. 3. Leave when you want to leave. If you’re feeling uncomfortable, make an excuse and go or just leave. Don’t worry about hurting their feelings or offending them. You’re not indebted to them in any way and you’ll probably never see them again. 4. Get to know the person. Don’t talk about topics on their profile. Ask about other interests, other connections they may have, etc. 5. The second you feel at risk is the time to act. Go. Leave. Do what it takes. Make noise, get assistance, whatever it takes to leave, you must make it happen. What are some other initial steps you should take to be safe when dating? Personal safety is a mindset that YOU need to have. Hoping that someone will protect you is not the safest, most effective means of self defense. You need to take a self defense course, not kickboxing, or a ‘teaser’ self defense session, you need to commit to a good, solid, self defense/rape prevention course such as The EQUALIZER from Rochester Personal Defense. You should also obtain, train, and carry pepper spray. This small, yet somewhat effective tool is great for self defense. The use of pepper spray is easier and will make an attacker stop for a few seconds, allowing you to get away. Another option is a handgun. With the proper mindset and training, this tool can be one of the most effective self defense methods you’ll ever find. Although not for everyone, nearly all of the women that my team of female instructors and I have trained have discovered the awesome power, respect, and comfort or the ownership and use of a handgun. We can take the fear, mystery, and inaccuracies out of the idea very easily. Summing this up, online dating can be good and bad. You have to remember to protect yourself while exploring. Everything in life is a balance. The more access you give someone, the less security you have. Find your balance and make sure it is on the better side of secure than access. Dave Jenkins is the founder of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC, Rochester’s choice for self defense training. Come join the other women that have learned how to be safe, keep their family safe, and how they became their own bodyguards.

H { in her defense }

When people ask me, the personal security expert, how to be safer online, I have one immediate answer: “DON’T”. It’s just easier to avoid it altogether. But, since you really have to try online dating and want to be just like everyone else, or just have exhausted your everyday options and need to utilize a different method, here are some things you need to consider: Your informational safety, personal safety, stalking, scams, and overall fraud.

250

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Rochester Personal Defense, LLC | (585) 406-6758 I www.safeinrochester.com

{ Think opposite }

THINK OPPOSITE ABOUT DRINKING by alison donaghey

Why do we have so many rules around drinking? I’m not talking about rules that keep us safe, like criminalizing drinking and driving. I mean societal views of drinking, our parenting around drinking, and our restaurant rules around drinking. What are the rules you have around alcohol? Where do they come from? Who do they serve? I wonder what the world would look like if we treated alcohol like anything else that is kept in the house. We use knives which when used improperly can be very dangerous, but we learn how to handle them responsibly. Is alcohol not the same? I understand that alcohol is mood altering and can have adverse effects on our health, however, so does coffee and so does chocolate, but we figure out how to incorporate them into our lives. Can we do the same with alcohol? Would we drink to excess, in secret, or out of rebellion if it were just no big deal? When it comes to the social opinion of alcohol, I think there is a chicken and egg scenario here. If alcohol is intrinsically evil, then we are right to think it’s bad and create rules around it. If alcohol is not intrinsically evil, then it has to be our opinion of it that is causing the problems. Another possibility is that alcohol is dangerous, but our opinion of it being “bad” makes it more dangerous. Don’t get me wrong, excessive drinking is harmful, but what interests me is whether our opinions of alcohol (and the rules we wrap around it) cause us, as 252

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

a society, to want it more and therefore it becomes more harmful to us. It’s not an issue unless we make it an issue. Or is it? IF drinking was treated differently, and if it was introduced with a “whatever, take it or leave it” attitude, would it become something that we abused? This study showed Societies with generally positive beliefs and

expectancies about alcohol…experience significantly fewer alcohol-related problems; negative or inconsistent beliefs and expectancies… are associated with higher levels of alcohol-related problems. (more) I don’t know about you, but as a teenager I drank out of rebellion. I would keep a bottle of something in my locker at school just to show that I didn’t care about the rules. It was how I rebelled - that and smoking. And coincidently both were forbidden. At some point in my adult life, I just stopped doing that, not the locker part but the rebellion part! At some point alcohol (and smoking) just became another thing I did or didn’t do. How much easier would my teenage years have been had I not used alcohol as a form of rebellion? Or perhaps it saved me from engaging in some other forbidden activity that would have been worse. What do you think? Would I just have substituted? Would you? Did you? Even as adults, we can still sometimes engage in the battle of rebellion and rules. I have heard people say they will get drunk after a break up as if that is going to “show” the person who left them. Or remember something they heard about it being bad to have a drink before noon. Or justify a drink by saying “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere”. Damn, they have songs about it! And then if we do have that drink before noon, are we in a state of rebellion or choice? Or do we just start to hide it? If drinking becomes secretive, then so do the problems that go along with it. Secrecy is often shrouded in shame and judgement, and how does that impact our world?

The things we are told about alcohol remain in our subconscious, and may or may not be serving us well. What if the “taboo” around alcohol didn’t exist? How could a teenager use it as a rebellion if there was no prohibition of it? I could always tell the kids at my son’s parties whose parents had open views of alcohol and those who adamantly prohibited it. Those kids whose parents had super strict rules always seemed to be the most drunk. Forbidding something has never really been an effective control of behaviour. The prohibition era certainly proved that. People just became more creative about making and selling it. It simply went underground. Or does the forbidding of it actually protect us, maybe from something worse?

With the negative history around alcohol, are we now trying to make alcohol more sophisticated in order to justify our enjoyment of a beverage? Perhaps alcohol is best only when it’s wine and people are actually connoisseurs. But then I read studies like the one in The Guardian and perhaps being a connoisseur is all fiction and no one can actually tell the difference between the wines. Essentially, Robert Hodgson shows that trained professionals fall short in distinguishing wines that “Only about 10% of judges are consistent and those judges who were consistent one year were ordinary the next year.” I just saw this great article on tequila and the health benefits. Seeing as tequila is my drink of choice, I was quite interested. Here is what I was told – tequila can help me lose weight,

aids in digestion, it’s pro and pre biotic, and the list goes on. Could this be true? But then I read other articles stating all the harmful facts about alcohol and I am left back in that place of “were they right? Should it be forbidden? What do you think? And I am not talking about your first knee jerk answer I mean take some time. What do you really think? And then take some time and Think Opposite about what you think and see if there is any relevance in the “other side” maybe there is and maybe there isn’t but if we don’t honestly and openly look at the other side then how can we truly and fully understand what we think?

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

253

{ You’re worth it }

by lisa cove i photo by christopher cove

Wikipedia defines it as, any substance consumed to provide nutritional support for an organism. It is usually of plant or animal origin, and contains essential nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins, or minerals. However; is all food really nutritional? Many theories about the caustic nature of the over abundance of simple processed sugars in much of the food we consume has caused great concern to the medical community. https://authoritynutrition. com/10-disturbing-reasons-why-sugar-is-bad/

Understand y o u r love/hate relationship with food and wine…

Ah… just the mere mention of “food and wine”, who doesn’t get a sense of excitement when hearing those two words? We bask in all the wonderful memories around food and drink. From our earliest days, food many have had a direct correlation with family, friends and celebrations. Drinks, cocktails or wine also represents some kind of celebration, good times or a way to connect with people we know. Food; What is it?

Where (do we get it)? Typically, we find

our foods at local grocery stores, large general merchandise stores, farmers markets and our own personal gardens. We can shop in person, shop on line or even have a mysterious on-line shopper prepare our cupboards for cooking meals at home. But a huge influx of dinning out at restaurants has been shown to be significant over the past 5-10 years. http://nymag.com/ scienceofus/2016/06/americans-spend-moreon-restaurants-than-groceries.html

Why (do we eat it)? Food consumption is

to feed our body for survival, but we all know people eat for many other reasons. Food is used to feed emotions such as stress, anxiety, guilt, boredom, depression and even happiness can drive us to eat. Recognizing “why we eat”, has been shown to be a powerful tool in weight loss and maintaining a healthy body state. This is called the science of “mindful eating”. http://www. mindful.org/6-ways-practice-mindful-eating/

When (do we eat)? Many of us have been

raised to habitually eat 3 meals a day. What happens in between those times is being disputed by many different recommendations. Do we eat only 3 meals a day, do we eat only when we are hungry, do we eat every 2-3 hours, do we have a 12-hour fast every night? I bring the choice back to a combination of your personal history for gratification, your authentic hungry feeling and where your body is as far as a happy healthy weight. But along with excitement may come anxiety. Ways to reduce calories and maintain your eating pleasure; 1) When going out to eat, ask for a take-out container before you start your meal. Take half from your plate and put it away in the container to take home. 2) Stay away from ordering an appetizer (many times they are as big as a meal) or eating the bread/butter or oil. 3) Share an entrée. 4) Drink 2 full glasses of water while you wait for your food. 5) When cooking, use lots of spices instead of butter/oil for flavor. 6) Be aware what you put in your mouth and savor the tastes slowly. 7) Fill up on vegetables; I add a huge amount of undressed greens under my pizza. 8) To satisfy your dessert craving, drink coffee/ flavored tea or a small piece of DARK chocolate (at least 72% cocoa).

Wine (or other alcohol);

What (is it)? Wikipedia defines it as, An alcoholic drink, or alcoholic beverage, is a drink that contains a substantial amount of ethanol (informally called alcohol), a depressant which in low doses causes euphoria, reduced anxiety, and sociability and in higher doses causes intoxication (drunkenness), stupor and unconsciousness.

Where (do we get it)? Alcoholic beverages

are found most anywhere that is associated with socialization, celebration or enjoyment. No wonder alcohol is the most abused form of drug in the world, causing not only pleasure but also may cause harm through addiction. Some say it is the “real” gateway drug. https:// www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/ wp/2016/01/06/the-real-gateway-drug-thatseverywhere-and-legal/?utm_term=.17ff34479293

Why (do we drink it)? Alcohol consumption

is known to be a way to connect with others. It is used many times for relaxation purposes. I cannot tell you how many times I hear my friends (in their 40-50’s) concerned about having wine every night; whether it is enjoying a glass at home after a long day, having a glass while they cook and/or with dinner or whether they stop out with friends after work for “happy hour”. Their concern is real, as alcohol becomes a habitual part of their daily enjoyment.

When (do we drink)? Not only is alcohol

used as a celebratory opportunity, but some say it is used to self medicate. Needing something to calm us or reduce anxiety from life events is quite commonly when we drink it. Alcohol has also been called “liquid courage” used when we need a little push in a social circumstance. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-tian-dayton/ self-medication_b_3236724.html Here are ways to reduce drinking alcohol (and its empty calories); 1) Meet a friend for a walk after work instead of going to a bar. 2) “Fake drink” sip on one drink all night long by adding water to it when it starts to run out. No one will ever know, you won’t be pressured to drink more, and you will not disrupt the fun social part of meeting friends out. 3) Drink seltzer water with lemon or lime. It also can be made to look and taste like a “real” drink. 4) Make a plan that you will drink only on certain days and stick to it. 5) Be aware to add your (alcohol) calorie consumption into your awareness. Food and wine are a beautiful part of life. In moderation and with acute awareness you can enjoy it without over-doing. Whether you are trying to reduce calories or just being healthier, understanding the way we use food and drink will help us connect more with who we are. Keep away guilt and remorse when enjoying life’s pleasures by feeling in control of what you put into your body. Why?

{ SOCIAL MEDIA MOXIE } BY TAMARA MACDUFF

256

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

B by TAMARA

{ from buff to brawn } by KITTY TERESI

M. Many people fail at getting fit because they can’t get past the sore stages. Telling themselves, “I’ll go back when the soreness wears off.” only to end up in the same position again. This is a very common reason why many people give up on getting fit. They don’t want to deal with the soreness and stiffness of the first few days of training. If you have never done physical activities before, or it has been a while since you’ve engaged in fitness, it is inevitable that you will feel some sort of soreness. Even those already engaged in a training program, starting a new activity, or increasing the intensity or volume of a current workout, will experience some sort of soreness. Whenever I start training a new client, I always make it a point to tell them that “Soreness is your muscles reminding you that they are still there and have been awakened and stimulated!” Starting a training program doesn’t have to be so painful.

Soreness… Crippling Your Desire To Be Fit!!

Have you ever tried to start a fitness program, and found yourself so sore the next day that you really didn’t want to return? Well, you’re not the only one with these feelings.

MACDUFF

Severe soreness will occur 6 to 8 hours after a high intensity training session, and will peak at about 48 hours. So, the second day (48 hours) after your training session, you will find yourself feeling even worse. Indicators of severe soreness, or overdoing it at your first, or any training session are: - Waking up with the feeling that you got hit by a bus. - Wondering how you’re going to feed your pets when you can’t even bend over to get their dishes - Hoping you can press the break when you drive to work - Looking for an elevator at work so you can avoid the stairs. - Afraid to sit on the toilet because you might not be able to get back up. This may sound pretty funny, but the experience can be very traumatizing, causing new fitness prospects to call it quits. Thinking to themselves, “How the heck am I going to deal with this pain over and over again?” Not really understanding that it will subside if you are consistent, and don’t give up. Check out these signs to determine if you are experiencing a high intensity workout: - Your breathing becomes rapid and deep. - You start sweating almost immediately after beginning your training activity. - You are out of breath, barely being able to

say a few words without pausing to catch your breath. Slight to Moderate Soreness is what we are looking for and definitely will occur when you are starting a training program, changing to a new physical activity, upping your current workout, or believe it or not, just giving your house a nice good cleaning. So, the key to beginning, or changing your new fitness program is to start out your training at a low intensity level and gradually increasing it as your body adapts to the new demands of fitness. Yes, I know you’re excited and want to have a washboard stomach, biceps that can crush nuts and sexy tight glutes by tomorrow! You will definitely get there without needing help out of bed the next day, you’ll still be able to bend over to feed your pets, and you’ll even be able to take the stairs at work. All this while still feeling the work you put in yesterday, and actually looking forward to your next training session. Check out these signs to determine if you are experiencing a low to moderate intensity workout: - Your breathing becomes faster, but you are not out of breath. - You start developing a light sweat about 10 minutes into your training session - You are able to carry on a light conversation without stopping every few words. So, with the understanding that soreness is inevitable… You and/or your trainer should do the research so you can begin, change, or increase your training sessions, without being incapacitated the next day. This way beginners and clients will more likely return to the gym for additional workouts, and continue their commitment to being fit! And, as if that wasn’t great enough… Now that you have started a program, keep in mind that when you do the same activity over and over again, your muscles will begin to get used to it. You will have less to very low soreness because you have strengthened those muscles. From the House of KitFit5pt0….. Commit to Fit!! Kitty Teresi BEDROC MMA Mixed Martial Artist Personal Training to Success!

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

257

{ cooking with oils }

SUMMER PATIO GRILLING BY DEBBIE MCQ

Summer Patio Grilling - getting that burst of flavor can make all the difference! While many of us try to keep grilling all year, there is something to be said for that time of the year when the winter temps break, outside living spaces come alive, and our gardens and flowers begin to bloom. What follows quickly is quality time with friends and family for some well deserve patio time. For me, I am blessed with the most amazing neighbors. At any time, you can hear the kids running from yard to yard, playing capture the flag, swimming, jumping on trampolines, and playing pickup basketball games. For the parents, time for to catch up after a busy school year and long winter. Gazing out over fresh cut lawns on comfy patio chairs, a cold beverage and our favorite patio foods can make any day amazing. I can’t even estimate how many times we invited neighbors over for a simple BBQ dinner that turned into an evening around the fire pit, an evening swim and s’mores. We live for these evenings!!!! And on any one of these nights, whether it be just our family or with others, the one thing that absolutely sets the tone is the food. While we all have our summer favorites - chicken, steak burgers or ribs, it’s the wafting aromas, char of the gill, and home grown veggies from the garden make our summer foods so flavorful.

258

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

But, this year is the year of new beginnings, I set a challenge to you --> Take your summer patio meals to a new level. Create marinades for your meats, veggies and fruits, or try bountiful dressings for your salads with new tantalizing side dishes like fresh guacamole, salsas, infused hummus and dips. This patio season can be filled with simple, flavorful and wildly healthy, on budget that flavors that will blow away any you have enjoyed before.

How can you have a grilling season like this? First, pick out a couple of your favorite dishes and find the herbs, spices and fruit flavors that are mentioned -- no limits here! Then replace each with a Young Living Vitality Oil. Basil, thyme, oregano, lemon and lime, tangerine, tarragon (cilantro), go for it! Then, get your patio ready, call over some friends and get grilling. So, what are essential oils? They are the therapeutic liquid distilled from shrubs, flowers, trees, roots, bushes, fruit, rinds, resins, and herbs. They are the most powerful part of the plant. Also, called “The Life Blood “of the plant. So, an example would be like, when you break a leaf off your house plant and the liquid seeps out, that is its essential oil. Each oil consists of over 100 different natural organic compounds. They provide support for every system of the human body. The skeletal, muscular, circulatory, respiratory, and digestive system. The endocrine system and your hormones. Great supports for the immune system. And they also help support brain health and healthy weight. They are used extensively for emotions and for spiritual support in meditation and prayer. Oils are mentioned in scripture directly and indirectly 1100 times. During Christ’s lifetime, essential oils were so expensive they were traded on the market the same way we trade gold and silver today and the king or ruler’s wealth was determined by the amount of OIL he possessed. They were used to anoint priest and kings and for perfumes and to beautify. They were even brought back from the Crusades and used by the medieval Europeans. Their potential was recognized long before us. But it wasn’t until after World War 2 when essential oils were basically rediscovered and now the science on their uses grow every single day.

The vitality line was created to take the guess work out of what can be taken internally. Just look for the white label. This is how quick they work:

when consumed. It can help to balance hormones and lessen the symptoms of menstruation, aid in your weight loss efforts, and even minimize the severity of allergic reactions.

Test have shown essential oils reach the brain in 22 seconds when inhaled; in 2 minutes, they can be found in the bloodstream after being applied topically and in 20 minutes they affect every cell in the body. Expulsion of essential oils takes about 3 to 6 hours in a normal, healthy body. The secret to this Young Living Vitality Essential oils. Each and every one offers far more than just amazing flavors. Let’s see what some of our favorite herbs and citrus oils can provide our bodies with.

LEMON ESSENTIAL OIL

BASIL ESSENTIAL OIL:

The health benefits of basil essential oil include its ability to treat nausea, motion sickness, indigestion, constipation, respiratory problems, and diabetes. Basil oil is also a good source of Vitamin A, magnesium, potassium, iron, and calcium.

OREGANO ESSENTIAL OIL

Oregano oil is very important for human health, and impressively effective for the treatment of parasitic and fungal infections in many different parts of the body. It is also an all-around immune system booster, and can help improve digestion

The health benefits of lemon oil can be attributed to its stimulating, calming, carminative, antiinfection, astringent, detoxifying, antiseptic, disinfectant, sleep inducing, and antifungal properties. The benefits of lemon oil include its ability to treat stress disorders, fever, infections, asthma, obesity, insomnia, skin disorders, hair conditions, stomach problems and tiredness. A conversion example for our Peppermint Vitality oil is that it takes approximately 30 peppermint tea bags to equal the healthy benefits of one drop of peppermint essential oil! WHOA!!! This past week a group came together for dinner - all focused-on Patio time meals. We sample many of our longtime favorite summer dishes, but replaced tradition dried and fresh herbs and citruses with Young Living Vitality Essential Oils. If you are interested in having one, - feel free to call me at (716) 870-0234 or email melyoilsroc@gmail.com to set a date. A sample recipe from our classes:

Southwest Marinade for Beef

Yield – enough to marinate 2 pounds of beef, Preparation Time – 2 minutes Ingredients • 1/4 cup fresh cilantro, chopped (Tarragon Vitality oil) • 1/4 cup olive oil • 1/4 cup lemon or lime juice • 2 teaspoons salt • 1 teaspoon cumin • teaspoon fresh garlic, minced • 5 drops Black Pepper Vitality Essential Oil • 7 drops Lime Vitality Essential Oil Directions • Mix all ingredients together. • Marinate tenderized beef for at least an hour in the refrigerator before grilling to proper temperature (145 degrees + 3-minute rest). Delicious when served with a side of homemade guacamole.

{ surviving & thriving }

260

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

{ SURVIVING & THRIVING } By Jamie Betteridge

Work Strain and Employee Mental Health: Considerations for Leaders

I am exhausted. And as it turns out, most of the female population is messy bun up, “where the hell is my coffee?” – exhausted. This comes as no surprise 45% of American’s report that they are waking up feeling sleep deprived even after getting the recommended eight hours of sleep. Now this could be attributed to a plethora of different reasons, but the most common is stress. I can speak from personal experience that women, especially, are expected to do more with less time.

It is a perpetual chaotic dance of waking up tired, working for eight hours or more, picking up the kids, dropping the kids off, making dinner, paying the bills, spending quality time with your significant other, trying to maintain a social life (what social life?) – all the while facing societal pressures of what is considered physically beautiful, and traits of a good mother and spouse, and working woman at that exact second . Rinse. Repeat. Then, to add to the daily chaos, is work related stress. So, I am sure you will tell me, “Well of course stress affects health. We all know this and hear about how it affects physical health it all the time.” Cortisol is bad and all of that jazz, but what about mental health? Often mental health gets ignored for a variety of reasons including stigma, culture (pull yourself up by your bootstraps!), and lack of education concerning detection and treatment. Longitudinal studies of employees that are in a high stress work environment were more likely to develop a diagnosis of major depression and use anti-depressants. These individuals also were more likely to experience dysthymia, or a neurotic depressive state of low mood and lack of interest in activities. One study in the Journal of Affective Disorders compared work stress and mental health disorders between men and women. One positive that came from the study, if you want to spin it that way, showed that women have a higher threshold for work stress than men. Women were less likely to develop depression and anxiety. However, when the study accounted for extra stressors such as marriage and children – that threshold flew straight out the window. As strong as women are, we all have our breaking point. But what are the sources of work related stress and what can we do about it? Let’s break it down. A study of female employees in relation to stress and organizational behavior discovered there were certain aspects of the job that induced more stress than others. One of the major stressors was work and family conflict. The surveyed female employees who had to often choose between work and their home life had a significant deficient in their health

overall, lower job satisfaction, and an enormous amount of stress wreaking havoc throughout their bodies. Another major factor to stress was role ambiguity; meaning a lack of clarity and understanding of the job or position. In addition to that, another stressor is not being clear on the company’s policies. So, we have employees who are handling relentless conflicts, are physically and mentally unhealthy, and aren’t clear on how to do their jobs properly. This summarized job strain; a high demand job, with little control. This is just bad news all around for both their employees and their companies. But, there are ways to address this problem. It literally pays off to invest in the wellbeing of your employees. Instead of incurring the cost of recruiting new employees, training them, and businesses falling in their own cycle of rinse and repeat, it is more cost effective to address the stress and retain employees. So, to our female leaders, pay attention. This is worth your time. A lot of the suggestions I may give may seem like common sense, but when you are building your empire and are caught in the daily hustle and grind, it is important to be intentional with incorporating these suggestions. The action of being intentional sets our first suggestion into motion: organizational culture. Organizational culture, or the essence and feel of the company even when you simply just walk in the door sets the tone for your employees. Are you the kind of leader that would jump down your employee’s throat for expressing their concern about the work load, or do you embrace their ideas on how to make the company better? Do you check in with your employees and see how they are doing with their various projects or are you hidden in your office? Are you able to offer flexibility on the job if an employee can’t find a sitter when their child is home sick? An employee who feels cared for is a loyal one. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

261

{ SURVIVING & THRIVING }

The second suggestion focuses on that investment. Salary, while it is obviously vital (we all love to get paid), it isn’t the end all be all for employees. Employees are looking for the total package including fringe benefits. Does your company offer health insurance and is it any good? The costs of health insurance continues to rise, so are you looking into how you can continue to keep costs low for employees? When offered programs such as employee assistance programs that offer therapy sessions, financial advice, etc… employees will take advantage of them and find value in them. Then there is communication. The other leading cause of work related stress is simply not knowing what the hell is going on and what to do. A work environment where an employee 262

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

doesn’t know what to do or where to go might as well be considered the work equivalent of purgatory. There is no growth, only confusion. Communication can be handled in a million different ways, but it should be conjoined with your organizational culture. If you want your company to be an open environment, having open forums, team meetings, surveys, and ways for employees to offer their opinions in a comfortable way will do wonders. Policies, trainings, and job descriptions should be clear, concise and easily available. Are your policies buried in some binder in the darkest corner of your office, or is it out and available for employees to reference? Electronic communication should be handled delicately. Tone is lost and that is often an aspect that is forgotten due to

the luxury of the quick “FYI” e-mail. Look at the communication through the lens of an employee; is it easy to understand? Can it be misinterpreted? Should it be communicated in person instead? Figuring out how to handle employee stress is no easy task and sometimes could be out of your control due to systemic problems that are larger than life (hello, non-profit sector) and there are a million different ways to handle the same problem. If this article was to leave you, dear reader, with one thing is to find out what your employees value and invest in that. Smart leaders invest in their employees and in turn, reap the rewards.

{ women that rise }

WOMEN THAT RISE by CARRIE GRUSCHOW & LAURIE RE

Let’s be honest, life as a woman can be tough sometimes. They say, “life is an adventure”, but you may have lost your way and want to find the path back. Maybe you feel like you lost a bit of yourself as you have taken on more roles: wife, mother, boss lady, go-to friend, employee of the month, etc. You might have done all the “right” things but something feels off, something is missing. Most people spend more time planning their vacation than they do their life, but we know you want more-more purpose, more joy, more fulfillment. Do you want a real plan to make the most out of your life? The life you were created to live, a life of purpose and meaning. You need something. You need a tribe that lifts each other up. A place to be with other women that “get it”. Joy, not judgment. Community, not comparison.

264

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

That something is Women That Rise. Together, we RISE.

Reflect Inspire Support Equip.

Women that Rise is an online community of like-minded women. It was born out of the desire for women to have the support and community to do life together. We want women to know they have purpose, are remarkable, are enough---even when they don’t feel like it. We help women to be inspired and encouraged, to help them identify their strengths and talents to create a life they love. We support them as they identify areas of their life they want to strengthen and focus on and equip them by providing simple tools and strategies. We’ll help you ‘overcome the overwhelm’ and make the most out of your life. To create a life you don’t need a vacation from. We can’t pour from an empty cup and as women we tend take care of everyone else first. We need to take care

of ourselves too, it’s essential. Like you’ve heard flight attendants say, “you need to put your mask on first before you assist others”. Do this for yourself and those around you. Be part of the Women That Rise community There’s a few ways to plug in and get the inspiration and resources: • A weekly blog called Rise & Shine at 9 comes out every Monday to help you get your mindset headed in the right direction for the week. You can subscribe through the website www. womanthatrise.com to get it delivered directly to you. • Following us on social media will give you, the on-the-go woman, a daily dose of encouragement. We prefer a social media feed filled with positive thoughts rather than negative noise. So be sure to check us out on Facebook and Instagram. • You can grab helpful, FREE resources and

and printables including daily planners, a “Life Checkup” for more balance and a “5 Day To Your Best Self e-course” all available through our website. • We teach local courses such as “Discovering Who You Are”, “Life GPS” and “Vision Board workshops” (you can check some of these out at The Brainery). It’s a new twist on mom night out’s. These can serve as great add-ons to conferences and events. • Soon we will be opening the doors to our Rise Tribe Membership Community, where members get exclusive access to even more personal growth tools, trainings, and helpful connection to other Tribe Members. If you’re here and need “something”, something for you, something to help inspire you and help

you get your life back on track then connect with the community of Women That Rise. Even if you feel stuck, overwhelmed or just like something is missing---you can write a new chapter of your story. Remember that you are unique, your life has purpose and you can make the choice to start to find your path today. The Women behind Women That Rise We are Carrie Gruschow and Laurie Re, the personal growth leaders and co-founders of Women That Rise. We believe small consistent steps lead to big positive changes. We have spent almost a decade guiding, teaching, and leading women from all backgrounds in the corporate world, college settings, and in the sales field. We discovered our passion was helping women identify and use their gifts and talents to find purpose, fulfillment and live abundantly.

We also have found having the right tribe that supports each other is key. We noticed that women lacked authentic connection with other women and needed an environment of compassion, not comparison, in order to thrive, not just survive. Together we use our unique talents and gifts to create resources, facilitate courses, cultivate a community of support, and help women on their path of personal growth and development. We look forward to having you be part of this uplifting community and together, we will be Women That Rise. Contact us anytime at hello@womenthatrise.com

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

265

T { queen of arts } by cassondra kubit

TATTOOS ANYONE?

Tattoos have become more mainstream and are no longer just for the “rebels”. There are over 45 million people in the United States who have at least one tattoo, if not more. Tattooing is a 1.6-billiondollar industry with over 21,000 tattoo parlors spread throughout the United States. If you are a tattoo enthusiast I hope that you made it to the ROC City Tattoo Expo that was showcased at the Holiday Inn last month.

266

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

The ROC City Tattoo Expo brings hundreds of tattoo artists from across the United State, Canada, Europe and even Japan all together for one exciting weekend. The ROC City Tattoo Expo is brought together by Jet, the owner of LoveHate Tattoo. The Expo is a place where you can see the hundreds and thousands of different styles of tattooing, and even finding a rare piece that you would like tattooed. While at the Tattoo Expo you could see that the world of tattoo artists is predominately male, but you do come across a few female tattoo artists mixed in. Especially one female tattoo artist by the name of Brianna Nichols, who graces Pyramid Arts with her beautiful art work. Nichols comes from Syracuse, NY and found herself in Rochester for college at RIT where she majored in Fine Arts. She also met her mentor who encouraged her to look towards becoming a tattoo artist because of paintings that she made. Nichols at that point in time was not truly ready to become a tattoo artist. She found herself in NYC as a Vegan chef for about 5 years and after that she ended

up in Boston where she worked for a design company for 3 years. She came back to New York State after that and worked for her mentor’s tattoo parlor in Canandaigua. She came to Rochester, NY about a year ago and started working at Pyramid Arts. She has a passion for botanical art work, mandalas and traditional tattoos, which are her favorite. Ben Wight is one of many people who have inspired her to continue doing the work she does. He keeps her motivated and is very supportive. Lea Rizzo, from Pyramid Arts, and Christine Erickson, from LoveHate, are two great female tattoo artists in the Rochester area that Nichols truly looks up to and enjoys working alongside of them. Nichols says that, “It is nice to be around other women in a field that is truly male dominated.” Nichols loves being in Rochester, even though her family is in Syracuse and Boston. Her family is very supportive of her career choice so it makes it easier for her to be in Rochester chasing her goals. She says Rochester is a busy

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

267

{ queen of arts } “There are 45 million people in the United States who have at least one tattoo, if not more. Tattooing is a 1.6-billion-dollar industry with over 21,000 tattoo parlors spread throughout the United States.”

town with a ton of things to do. The people are nice and she loves all the greenery. Some of her favorite places in Rochester are the Red Fern, Good Luck, and Voulas. They all serve great vegan and vegetarian foods. Nichols enjoys tattooing and hopes to continue learning and expanding her skill set in the future. She loves being able to talk to and learn from as many artists as she can. She doesn’t see herself owning a tattoo parlor, at this time, because she wants to focus on her artwork and expanding her skill set and knowledge base. 268

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Nichols says that the tattoo world is always evolving and changing. You must continue evolving and learning with it. The tattoo world changed so much with the advancement of technology and social media. Social media allows you to show the world the different kinds of tattoos that can be done. She says that Ipads have really made it a lot easier to show people different looks that a tattoo can have, but she still likes the old style of free hand drawings. She doesn’t see the tattoo world stepping away from using thermafax paper anytime soon, but with the way technology changes it is always possible.

When asked what advice she would give to anyone who is thinking about becoming a tattoo artist or to any artist already in tattooing field is, “If you stop learning you should stop tattooing.” She strongly believes that you should always keep on learning everything that you can. You can find Brianna Nichols at Pyramid Arts, 638 South Ave. You can also follow her on Instagram and see all of her great work: briannanicholstattoo.

{ what motivates you }

GET MOTIVATED WITH MOTIVES BY KELLIE MESLER

Summer is almost here and I start to think about my beauty essentials and what I will be carrying around in my bag. I have some favorites but I always find it difficult to narrow it down. So I thought I see what Loren Ridinger, Senior Executive Vice President of Internet retailing giants marketamerica. com and SHOP.COM, as well as the creator of the award-winning cosmetics line, Motives. She’s beautiful inside and out, is an incredibly successful entrepreneur, and her tips are timeless. So let’s see what’s in Loren’s bag! Wondering what’s in my bag? I have to admit, this changes with the seasons – warm weather brings out some different needs than when the cold winter wind is blowing. Does that happen to you too? There’s no doubt I have my staples – things that haven’t changed from year to year – and, honestly I can’t leave the house without them! Curious what I’ve got in there? Let’s take a look:

What’s in My Bag: Summer Essentials A good SPF that I can apply anytime. You never know when you’re going to end up on an impromptu trip to the beach or even out for a walk during the lunch hour with friends. When that summer sun starts blazing, sunscreen 270

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

(especially on your face) is essential. Find one you love – and you’ll never forget to apply. Motives 10 Years Younger Setting Spray – Want to look great all day or just give makeup a refresh before you head out to happy hour? This stuff is a lifesaver – and it’s one of those essentials that you will

always find in my bag. Motives Makeup Remover Towelettes – I never leave home without these! From touchups to just being at that point in the day when it’s time to get all that makeup off, this little packet of towelettes will save you! The perfect nude palette. This stays in my bag year round without a doubt – no matter what my style for the day, I always have a just-in-case palette along for the ride. What better way to make sure you have everything you need for the perfect look and touch ups? A neutral lip gloss – Never, ever leave home without it – something light and shiny that I can apply without looking in a mirror when I need a quick pick me up. When you swipe on a little shine, it’s the perfect way to step up your look with minimal effort – make it a neutral and you can use it anytime. - Loren Ridinger, Loren’s World, May 13, 2016. So what’s in your bag? If you’d like to hear more about these and other essentials I’d love to hear from you! Kellie Mesler www.motivescosmetics.com/ kelliemesler kmes223@gmail.com

{ given wings }

HACKERS LOVE WIFI SPOTS by JESSICA KELLY

I don’t know about you, but I love meeting clients out at local cafes. Something about grabbing a cup of coffee and having a faceto-face conversation about their project really connects me to their ideas. Getting out of the office and into the public is just a very liberating and exhilarating feeling. But it can also be very dangerous to my business. How many of us have connected to a local free Wi-Fi hotspot to get a break on our monthly data plan allowance? Or hunkered down with a donut and cup of coffee at our favorite cafe with our laptop to get some work done out of the confining office setting. Beware! Those free wi-fi may seem like a lifesaver but could end up costing you more in the long run.

if you’re logging into an HTTPS website, an encrypted website, or not. Malware: Malware is even more dangerous than “man-in-the-middle” attacks. It potentially gives the hacker access to everything on your device. With malware, they can steal your files, photos, and even turn your camera and microphone on! If the hacker gains access to your login information for a cloud service, they can easily install malware onto your device. Wi-Fi Sniffing: This involves monitoring

3 Ways to Hack Your Private Information

Man-in-the-Middle Attacks: The “man-in-the-middle” attacks happen when a hacker emits their own Wi-Fi network, usually titled similar to those within the same range. When you log onto their network, they have full access to your computer and any saved information, like passwords. It won’t matter 272

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

Check Before You Connect

Here are some basic tips you should remember before you use public Wi-Fi: 1. Connecting to bank accounts, email…even social media profiles is a BIG no-no when connected to a public Wi-Fi hotspot. Even running the mobile apps on a phone or tablet can be dangerous. 2. Double check to make sure that the accounts or profiles you’re trying to log into keep a secured connection while you’re logged in. Some login screens start with an HTTPS login, however, drop the security after you’ve logged in.

Free public Wi-Fi is everywhere - even our grocery store! We all use it, but most of us don’t realize the risks to our personal security when we do. If you decide to use public Wi-Fi, just be aware that you could be making yourself an easy target for hackers — and putting your information and more at risk. The major issue with using public Wi-Fi is that all your information is available to everyone logged into the same network. What hackers do is try to intercept the communication between your computer and the computer your trying to get access to - like your Facebook profile or bank account. Once they get access, they can log in as you anytime and anywhere.

break on your data plan while you’re out and about. Just remember, the apps on your phone may automatically transmit account data back and forth while they run in the background your phone.

network traffic. Hackers record batches of data as it travels across the public Wi-Fi network and then analyze it later to uncover useful details. Did you know, a lot of the time it’s not even illegal to do this? That’s right! Some Wi-Fi connections do not list Wi-Fi Sniffing as a no-no in their Terms & Conditions before a user connects, which leaves the ability to record data streaming throughout the network as perfectly normal activity.

So, Now What? Never Connect to Wi-Fi?

It’s not that simple. Public Wi-Fi hotspots can be unsecured or secured. And, don’t get me wrong, they’re a convenient way to get a

3. Stop your devices from automatically connecting to public Wi-Fi whenever it’s available. Allowing your devices to automatically connect keeps you from being able to pick a secured connection to make sure it’s the best and safest. 4. When in doubt, use your data plan! It’s not worth the risk to your personal security to connect to an unknown or unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot to save a few GB on your monthly data plan. If you’re constantly going over your plan’s limit, consider increasing it to save on any overage charges.

Stay Safe, It’s Easy

While free Wi-Fi is a nice to have and very convenient while you’re running around, just remember, hackers are going to hack. It’s just what they do and it’s inevitable that someone fall prey to their antics.

{ Building your Business with Biqi }

DOING BUSINESS IN A DIGITAL WORLD BY Stephanie Nitya Armstrong

When I started in marketing in 2010, the landscape was very different. Most of the marketing plans I built were comprised of billboards, television commercials, direct mail, newspaper and radio ads. Although there wasn’t much data to support how effective the campaigns were, these methods were all that was available. I allocated budgets based on how many people we could reach and how cost effectively we could reach them. Results were difficult, if not impossible, to measure and I was often at my desk stuck in a daze as I assessed and reassessed and re-reassessed every aspect of the campaign strategy. I had few insights to offer my clients and desperately sought out advances in the industry to help me help them better. Most of my colleagues seemed satisfied in running the campaigns without any clear direction or feedback and I caught a lot of eye-rolls and long sighs for questioning the status-quo (darn Millennials, always questioning everything). In 2012, digital marketing first became “a thing” in most advertising companies. Initially, every client I proposed digital marketing to gave me a half-smile for my efforts and passion, took my proposal and told me they would call if they were interested. I don’t think I made it out the door before they threw it in the trash and I’m fairly certain most of them didn’t even look at it. Somewhere, there is a small cemetery of my digital proposals that never realized their full potential. I still cry for them sometimes at night. In early 2015, it became apparent that the digital marketplace was rapidly changing the way marketers do business. I was ecstatic! Preliminary data was finally available that could prove return on investment for businesses and best practices for marketers. All my career dreams were coming true! I could now prove to my clients what worked and what didn’t and we could optimize campaigns to 274

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

continually bring them more leads and ultimately, more revenue! I started BiQi Marketing in early 2016 and haven’t looked back! Our clients are building their businesses at a fraction of the cost of traditional media, getting exponentially better results and receiving cold, hard data about how their consumers interact with their brand. Everything we do is trackable, measurable, and completely transparent so our clients know what we’re doing, why we’re doing it and how it’s impacting their business. Because the industry is changing so much, so fast, many businesses know that they need to invest in their digital presence, but they don’t know where to start. The first and most important component of your digital presence is your website. Your website should be your best sales person, best brand ambassador, best customer service tool and it’s your most valuable piece of real estate. Well designed, well thought out websites have the power to turn any business into a sales machine! Years ago, families took days to go shopping. They visited different stores looking for the right item for the right price. Business owners and staff had the opportunity to meet prospective consumers

and “sell” them. Ultimately, consumers made decisions based on this in-person experience and the business, itself, had much more control of the buying cycle. Today, consumers are much more empowered and typically start their buying cycle on Google, searching for the product or service they need. Consumers must to be able to find your business here to even take it into consideration. How do you rank in your Search Engine Optimization (SEO) among your competitors? If you search your business category and your broad geographic region, where do you show up? Page 1? Page 4? Somewhere else down the line that no one ever sees? The bottom line is, if you’re not on page 1, your chances of closing the deal are slim at best. In most cases, your business won’t even be taken into consideration. Data shows that 90% of internet browsers never even look at page 2 and 53% of them go to the first listing. Web traffic translates to leads and leads translate to sales, hence, the value of SEO to your business. When they do get to your website: • Does it engage them? • Do you have a clear strategy on the site to educate and empower them in their buying process? • Is your site mobile friendly? • Is your brand and culture proudly displayed? • Can they easily contact you? • Can they make a purchase or complete a lead form? In a world doing nearly $2 Trillion (with a T!) dollars of online purchases, make sure your business is positioned to take advantage of the amazing opportunities available with digital marketing and online sales. Consider your website your digital storefront and make sure your consumers have a great experience so they come back over and over again! If you’re interested in growing your business online, we are eager to help! Contact us today: Ciao@BiQiMarketing.com

276

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

M { motherhood matters } by monica infante.

While mothers will be happy to get the gardening tools or books (or skydiving lessons) they asked for, I can think of a few things that moms really want for Mother’s Day (and every other day of the year, for that matter) that don’t fit in a box. Here are three things that make parenthood a little easier for moms, as well as some local organizations that focus on making them possible.

What Moms Really Want for Mother’s Day

This month, many moms will be treated to the customary Mother’s Day breakfast in bed and will receive thoughtful gifts of all sorts—jewelry, clothing, perfume, gift cards, and more. If they have young children, they’re also likely to be presented with something special that was made by little hands.

Parenting Support

Even if you have a big family, parenting can feel isolating—that’s how I felt after the birth of my first child. Fortunately, we have many organizations in the Rochester area that can help moms feel less alone. Founded four years ago, Parenting Village is a nonprofit that provides connections and support for parents in the form of drop-in groups, workshops, special events, home visits for families with new babies, social gatherings, and more. You can learn more about Parenting Village at their fourth annual Bash on Sunday, July 30.

Sarah Farash, LMSW (who happens to be on the Parenting Village board) has created mindfulness and meditation courses for caregivers of both school-aged children and children aged 0–5, while JLF Counseling Services (Jessica Fowler, LCSW) helps women facing postpartum depression and provides groups and classes that include Embracing the Mess of Motherhood, a Big Emotions Class for Preschoolers/Pre-K, a Moms Matter Workshop, and more. Rochester also has a strong network of support for families who have kids with special needs, including organizations like AutismUp and Flower City Down Syndrome Network.

A Good Night’s Sleep

No matter what their child’s age, all moms want to wake up each morning feeling rested and ready for whatever parenting adventures the day will bring—and of course, moms of babies find that goal frequently out of reach! Some infants’ sleep habits prove to be more challenging than their parents had expected, but luckily for

those moms and dads, help is out there. In addition to her doula services she offers through her business, Birthful, Adriana Lozada, AdvCD (DONA), works with exhausted parents in her sleep consultant services. (Note that it is not “sleep training.”) Lozada creates a personalized sleep plan for each baby to aid moms and dads in addressing day/night reversal, early risings, “sleep fighting,” and much more. New moms who choose to breastfeed will find themselves waking up many times during the night to feed their babies, and if they need guidance with nighttime nursing, they can find it at meetings run by La Leche League of Rochester, as well as a class and breastfeeding support group at Beautiful Birth Choices.

Reliable, Trustworthy Childcare

Finding quality childcare as a working parent can be overwhelming. To get help in sorting through the possibilities, moms in Rochester can turn to the Child Care Council, Inc. for resources, information, and free referrals to qualified providers that are a good fit. Staff members can educate parents about the various kinds of childcare and explain how to evaluate a particular provider, and the agency even offers an enhanced referral service through its Special Needs Referral Program that assists parents of children with developmental disabilities or developmental delays. For preschool and school-age children, KidsOutAndAbout. com has an extensive listing of summer camp options on its website, aiding working parents in finding just the right camps for their children, whether that means spending days enjoying soccer, science, or Minecraft. Whether it’s Mother’s Day or any other day of the year, it’s always a good idea to reach out and ask for help when you find yourself struggling in your role as a mom. To all the mothers out there, regardless of what you get this Mother’s Day, may you have a beautiful day with the people you love (because that’s the best gift of all). ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

277

{ menopause moment }

By James Woods, M.D., and Elizabeth Warner, M.D.

THE VALUE OF MONITORING BONE HEALTH WITH AGING Our ability to monitor and, hopefully, improve aging bone health is the product of modern technology and a renewed focus on preventative medicine. Terms such as “DXA (previously dexa) scans,” and “T-scores” populate our discussion of aging and the prevention of falls. But the negative impact of a hip fracture cannot be overestimated. In one study of 428 consecutive hip fracture patients followed for up to 3.7 years, the risk of mortality was threefold higher than that of the general population over 65 years of age. In another series of 758 hip fracture patients over 60 years of age, 21% died in the first year, despite being co-managed by orthopedic surgeons and geriatricians. Why are certain bones in our body at greater risk of fracture than others, and how do we monitor and affect that risk? Healthy bones are a result of a continuous process, from birth until death, of modeling and remodeling to adapt to normal biomechanical and hormonal forces and additionally to repair damaged bone. Bones are made up of 50% to 70% mineral (primarily hydroxyapatite for mechanical rigidity and strength), 24% to 40 % organic matrix (primarily collagen 1 for elasticity), 5% to 10% water, and less than 3% lipids. Long bones (for example the humerus, radius, ulnar and femur) have a hollow shaft made of hard, cortical (compact) bone for support and movement, which encloses the marrow space and trabecular (cancellous or spongy) bone on the ends. Trabecular bone and marrow function to maintain hematopoiesis, mineral homeostasis, and a reservoir for growth factors. Trabecular bone, which is a honey-combed lattice of trabecular plates and rods, also is found in the flat bones of the skull, ribs, vertebrae, and pelvis. The human skeleton consists of 80% cortical bone and 20% trabecular bone, but this relationship differs by site. The ratio of cortical to trabecular bone in the vertebrae is 25/75, while in the femoral head it is 50/50. Modeling of new bone begins in utero as bonebuilding cells called osteoblasts manufacture matrix made up mostly of collagen into which calcium compounds, mostly calcium phosphate, are deposited. These cells then become osteocytes, which are surrounded by calcified matrix and serve to monitor mechanical stresses and, through signaling molecules, coordinate the balance between bone production by osteoblasts and

bone breakdown by osteoclasts. Throughout life, as bone requires remodeling or repair, new osteoblasts develop from stem cells that come from the dense vascular connective tissue that lines the outer aspect of compact bone (periosteum) and the inner surface lining of the bone’s marrow cavity (endosteum). Resorption of “old” bone involves a different cell type called osteoclasts. Osteoclasts are large, multinucleated cells derived from the monocyte-macrophage cell line that have the ability to lower the pH in bone, which mobilizes bone material, thus allowing it to be removed and excreted. In a single year, approximately 20% of bone tissue is replaced. The challenge in managing bone health is the impact of aging. During menopause, women lose about 1% to 2% of bone per year, mostly in the first couple of years, as bone resorption exceeds bone deposition, linked in part to the decline in estradiol from the ovaries. Other factors besides age that affect the development of osteopenia (mildly reduced bone mass) and osteoporosis (severely reduced bone mass to the point of bone brittleness) are family history, race, nutrition, gender, body weight, medications, and bone structure (frame). Therefore, monitoring the rate of bone loss and, thus, osteoporosis risk in the postmenopausal female has become a major preventative health issue. Prior to 1987, bone status testing was a plain X-ray of the skeleton, which was poor at determining bone density. Single- and then dual-photon absorptiometry were introduced, focused first on the radius (single) and then on the spine and femur, but both used radioactive isotopes as energy sources. Introduction of dual-energy X-ray eliminated problems with decaying isotopes. Then, in 1987, Hologic first introduced dual-energy X-ray absorptiometry (DXA), which generated alternate high- and low-energy pulses in a thin beam. Soft tissue absorption was subtracted, leaving values only for bone mineral density (BMD). Although a DXA scan did not determine structural or mechanical strength, its use gained attention in 1990 when reports first appeared that bisphosphonates can slow the process of bone resorption. Fracture risk as a T score from DXA measurements was established as the negative or left shift of a bell curve distribution of values from adults with a fracture history compared to that of healthy

young adults without fractures. The Study of Osteoporotic Fractures, a ten-year study of 9,704 white women begun in the United States in the 1980s, found that a T score from the femoral head of -2.5 standard deviations or worse as compared to a normal T score of 0 presented the greatest risk for a subsequent hip fracture. In 2008, using a meta-analysis of 12 independent studies, the World Health Organization expanded the value of the DXA scan and developed the Fracture Risk Assessment Tool or FRAX score. By using the T score from the femoral neck along with age, body mass index, prior fractures after age 50, family history of hip fractures, smoking and alcohol use, corticosteroid use, or history of rheumatoid arthritis, the ten-year risk of a hip fracture or incidental osteoporotic fracture could then be calculated. Fracture Risk Assessment scores that reflect a greater than 3% risk of a hip fracture or a 20% risk of another bone fracture became justification for offering some type of treatment. Recent tools to assist care providers in monitoring their patients’ bone health involve an array of blood and urine bone turnover markers, which reflect the rate of bone resorption. While bone turnover markers are not used to diagnose osteoporosis, they can assist in managing the pharmacologic treatment of patients at increased risk of osteoporotic fractures. The important role of the DXA scan is strongly supported by the North American Menopause Society, National Osteoporosis Foundation, American College of Preventive Medicine, and the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force who recommend screening of BMD in all post-menopausal women beginning at the age of 65 or sooner if there are co-morbidities. Time and research observation will tell if the improved diagnosis and treatment of osteopenia and osteoporosis actually improve morbidity and mortality of the aging U.S. population. References Available Upon Request James Woods, M.D. is a practicing gynecologist certified in menopausal medicine and a regular contributor to Rochester Woman Magazine. Elizabeth Warner, M.D., is a retired gynecologist living in Rochester, NY. For questions regarding this menoPAUSE or other menopausal issues you would like to see addressed in future editions, please call him at (585) 271-7800 or email him at james_woods@urmc.rochester.edu.

Jim Woods MD

We have a BLOG for Menopause! www.obgyn.urmc.edu/menopause Why me? Why have the years when I was having children been so well orchestrated for the preservation of the species, only to leave me feeling like this? When I see my doctor, my first thoughts are “What has happened to my memory, why am I gaining weight, why is my skin drying up, what is bone loss, why is intercourse painful, in fact why do I not care for sex at all and why do I go from urinary tract infection, to vaginal yeast infection, to other infections around my vagina, and then back to urinary tract infection? What are these bursting moments of hot flashes, why do my moods swing so widely, and what are these new awkward aches? Why does my doctor talk to me about my cardiac risks when fear of breast cancer is my mountain to climb, and what are my options for management of these problems? If my doctor talks about hormonal management, I am really confused regarding what are bioidentical hormones, should I go on hormones and for how long, and what are the differences between the estrogen patch and the pill?” For several months we have provided short discussions regarding aspects of menopause in our BLOG that can be reached by www.obgyn.urmc.edu/menopause. We hope you will enjoy and learn from these discussions. Jim Woods MD (UR Medicine: Menopause and Women’s Health ;formerly Hess/Woods Gyn) Phone 585 2717800.

We are Now Offering A Non-Hormonal Therapy for Menopausal Women And Breast Cancer Survivors

Call us today for a FREE MonaLisa Touch consultation! Relieves: Vaginal Dryness • Painful Intercourse • Vaginal Health Issues The MonaLisa Touch is a non-hormonal, FDA-approved laser therapy that stimulates collagen production inside the vagina and promotes vaginal mucosal revitalization

Women are calling this “life-changing” Clinically Proven • In-Office Procedure • Immediate Results • Only 3 Treatments Less Than 5 Minutes • No Anesthesia • Painless • Safe & Hormone Free 43 Willow Pond Way – Penfield 585-377-5420

1520 Route 332 – Farmington 585-398-2040

1880 East Ridge Rd – Irondequoit 585-388-7380

may

{ calendar of events }

SHERO Live at Photo City

2017 Bud to Bloom Fashion Show

location: Photo City Improv: Comedy & Music Venue

location: INN ON THE LAKE

TIMe: 8:00-10:00pm more info: https://ticketbud.com/ events/98a63170-30e7-11e7808d-aff70c6dbd3d

time: 11:00AM-2:00PM more info: https://www.facebook. com/ONYA-OntarioYatesFund-for-Women-andGirls-106074902764215/

rOCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE MAY LAUNCH PARTY

Realtors C Foundatio Hour Fundr

location: pERLOâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S RESTUARANT E. ROCHESTER

locati Branca M Tower

TIMe: 5:30-8:00pm

TIMe: 5:0

more info: WWW. ROCHESTERWOMANONLINE. COM

more $10 for tickets proceeds go homeless

june

{ calendar of events }

The Rochester Gluten Free Health & Wellness Expo 2017

Rochester Old School Party for a Cause

location: pIETERS fAMILY lIFE cENTER

location: rOCHESTER RIVERSIDE CONVENTION CENTER

00-7:00PM

TIMe: 10:AM-3:00PM

TIMe: 7:30PM

info: tickets- all to help the homeless

more info: www.rocglutenfreeexpo. com

more info: https://www.facebook. com/events/822599347917017/

Charitable on Happy Fundraiser

cation: Midtown/ ower 280

fast and the furriest

location: BROWN SQAURE PARK TIMe: 7:00AM-2:00pm more info: http://vsas.org/ events/the-fast-thefurriest-2017/

3 11th

Annual