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I Do... howe caverns wedding A RWO SECRET special section

Special Feature

cooking with F. OLIVERS

Our August Fashion Insert

Her Edge:

Beth Mandyck

SUMMER festival fun

Jessica Lahr wanting to have it Legendary Diane Chevron Fun In The Sun ROCHESTER’S FIRST LADY OF THE THEATRE ALL! with RWO Making Rochester “GLOW”


august

{ table of COntents }

regulars 6

20

PUBLISHERS LETTER

8 TEAM LIST

64 A WOMENS PERSPECTIVE 68

YOU CAN BE...

80 ANGELLA’S ADVICE

53

86 O’ TALK 93

HER EDGE Beth Mandyck

104

IN HER OWN WORDS Pam Werts

110

YOUNG UP AND COMING Tyler Aser

116

SPEAKING SOCIAL MEDIA

118

WOMEN WHO INSPIRE Michele DiBernardo Justyna Consaul

176

DIVA’S REPORT Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture

186 ON THE WAY UP

Jenna Abelon

206 TUXEDO’S PET CORNER 216 RESOLVE

110

Teen Dating

224 MASTERMINDLOUNGE

Suzi Willpower

Health & wellness 100

ROCHESTER HEALTHY SUPPLIMENTS

174

HEALTHY WOMAN

180 ASK THE DOCTOR

93

208

IN HER DEFENSE

244

THE BEST YOU

256 EVERYDAY PUSH 262

MIND, BODY & SPIRIT

270 THE THIN LINE

12


t 2017

{ table of COntents }

12

COVER STORY 12 Diane Chevron Rochester’s First Lady of Theatre

regulars

special features

228 230

LAW FORUM WITH BOB BRENNA

IT’S A RW SECRET

212 TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY

182 ROCHESTER POLITICS Natalie Sheppard

240 ALL WOMEN ROCK

234

248

fashion & BEAUTY

YOU DON’T KNOW MY STORY

250 FINANCIAL LITERACY WITH FRANK

254

MORTGAGE TIPS FOR WOMEN

260 UNRAVELED 258 FLOWER CITY BITIES

66

DANA’S STORY

FASHION FORWARD

74 #JESSAYING 78

all about m.e.

242

THE PERFECT HUE

266 CITYSENSE

food

272

200

PLATTER CHATTER Simply Crepes

276 ASK THE ANGELS

214

ROCHESTER DRINKS

282

220

ROCHESTER WOMAN FOODIE

280

COOKING WITH JULIA K

NO EXCUSES

HYPNOTIZED BY HOWIE

284 TIPS FOR WOMEN 286

MARKETING WITH BIQI

288

MOTHERHOOD MATTERS

104

290 THINK OPPOSITE 292

PICTURE THIS

294

CALENDAR OF EVENTS

special features 20

rOCHESTER WOMAN’S 2017 FASHIONS

48 BLUE CORAL SWIMWEAR 58 A LITTLE RWO SHOE PORN 61

INTRIGUE ACCESSORIES

63 TALEAHMORE STYLE 126

I DO...WEDDING SPECIAL Joevals Formalwear Vittorios Formalwear Soirre Tellier Photography Chef’s Catering Belle La Vie Paperozzi Invitations Cupcaked

126


{ from the publisher }

“Fashion is what you buy. Style is what you do with it.”

F

or anyone that knows me, you alredy know I am a fashionista. I love clothes, accessories, and especially shoes! So, it should come as no surprise that this would be one of my very favorite editions of the year!

Our August Fashion edition of Rochester Woman has the legendary first lady of local theatre on our cover, Ms Diane Chevron. A bit of a fashionista herself, Ms Chevron. can not only be seen on the local stage, but on mastheads flagging East Ave. You can read all about this incredible Diva starting on page [12]. We are truly honored to have such an extrordinary lady grace our cover.

Kelly T T

ON OUR COVER

On our cover this month for our Fashion Edition we have Rochester’s one and only legendary theatre maven and diva extrordinaire, Ms Diane Chevron. Karlie Lani, owner of Lush Light Photography shot our cover “diva” on site at her studio on University Ave.

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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017


{ a look at our team }

PUBLISHER EDITOR-IN CHIEF ASSOCIATE EDITOR CREATIVE DIRECTOR/GRAPHIC DESIGN PHOTOGRAPHY

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

ADVERTISING SALES SOCIAL MEDIA DIRECTOR WEB DESIGN & MANAGEMENT

Kelly Breuer Cheryl Kates-Benman Cassondra Kubit Kelly Breuer Tellier Studios John Myer Sandy Arena Lush Light Photography Brandon Vick Christopher “GoodKnews” Cardwell Daniel Delucenay Ben Miller Photography Julia Antenucci Chrissy Monroe Cheryl Kates-Benman Michelle Dibernardo Alana Calhoon Ortensia deLoren Gini Denninger Dani Polidor Alison Donaghey Pamela Werts Mark Forrest Patrick Debbie Santillo Mary Therese Friel Cathy Martelli Smith Phyllis Haberer Allison Omalley Paul Iatomasi Rita Pettinaro Sarah Itkin Lauren Frankfurter Rebecca Jaffarian Emma Cooksey David Jenkins Sheila Kennedy Julia Khoury Cassondra Kubit Tamara MacDuff Julie M. May Debbie McQ Maja Milicevic Klugh Stephanie Nitya Armstrong Mary Elizabeth Nesser Jason Pierce Kitty Teresi Lauren Harrison Robert L. Brenna, Jr. Jes Sutton Monica Infante Roz Richards Jordyn Adams Doug Jones Kelly Breuer Cassondra Kubit Brandon DeWind

Rochester Woman ONLINE is the premier professional woman’s online publication in the greater Rochester area. Our feature articles address major topics that interest local women. Each issue includes articles on health, fashion, fitness, finance, dining, lifestyle and personal perspectives, as well as a spotlight on local area women. The electronic magazines are distributed freely through your favorite app store and will be in your inbox electronically by the first week of every month. The publication is available free of charge. Please feel free to contact publisher Kelly Breuer at 585.727.9120 or you can email us at networkrocqueen@gmail.com. Download our current media kit at www. rochesterwomanonline.com. The magazine is published 12 times a year by Rochester Woman ONLINE. Copyright © 2017 Rochester Woman ONLINE. No part of this magazine may be reproduced or republished without the consent of the publisher. Rochester Woman ONLINE is not responsible for unsolicited submissions, manuscripts, photos or artwork. All such submissions become the property of Rochester Woman ONLINE and will not be returned.


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D


D { our cover story }

BY JULIE M. MAY I PHOTOS BY LUSH LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY

LEGENDARY D I A N E CHEVRON :

ROCHESTER’S FIRST LADY OF THE THEATRE

If you know anything about theatre in R o c h e s t e r, y o u p r o b a b l y k n ow Rochester Theatre’s own “First Lady,” the beautiful and glorious Diane Chevron.

Dubbed “a local theatre legend” by Rochester’s City Paper, Diane has graced the stage of nearly every Rochester theatre.

Diane is an award winning actor and director, and has played roles from villain to stripper, in performances ranging from high comedy to serious drama. She spent many years of her career on the road starring in classic musicals and many children’s productions. Diane has been awarded several TANYS (Theatre Association of New York State) honors for The Queen of Bingo, Save Me a Place at Forest Lawn, Jake’s Women, The Mousetrap, Love Letters and True West among others.

As part of the International High Falls Film Festival, Chevron was in the feature films Signs of Undoing, The Big Bit and Smoking Laws which were screened at the Little Theatre. Diane was also the female lead in Tug of War, a short film written and directed by local playwright, Laurie Stone, which premiered at the Cinema Theater and went on to the Sundance Festival in Utah. She has also written, directed and performed in several musical revues and is the co-founder of the cabaret group CITY SIX.

When she is not on stage, Diane is participating in planning fundraising events for various charities. She has raised millions of dollars to help people in this community. One of her favorite events is Epilepy/Pralid’s Chocolate Ball. It started in the late 80’s with Diane and four women who also became her

mentors in Charity work, and had what she calls “a crazy idea.” The event has evolved over the years, but is still going strong. She was honored at the 25th Anniversary of the event, and she says today being honored at the event is one of her favorite accolades. She is also passionate about her work with HPA (Helping People with Aids) and now Trillium, which she says is her most rewarding volunteer role. Diane has traveled extensively so we had to ask about her favorite places. She says Sydney, Australia, “ranks as one of my top five - the water, the opera, the cosmopolitan feel and the people. I love Paris because it is ‘The City of Light,’ very romantic with exquisite food. Bangkok is exciting and beautiful. London is an actor’s dream and Rio is a party!” (It’s hard to imagine Diane showing up anywhere and the place not turning into a party). Her friends describe her as a big fish in a small pond, saying she knows ‘everyone who is anyone’ in town. They say if you want to meet her in person, you might be lucky enough to see her at the Park Avenue Pub. The current role she is working on is in a 3-person play, The Last Romance by Joe DiPietro. VARIETY said of the play: “The boulevard comedy gets a shot in the arm. Remarkably free of cliché…the golden-years love story casts a bewitching spell. It should enjoy a long life.” It will open this October. She is also working on an autobiography,


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“I have been so lucky in my life to get to do what I love: stage shows, movies, commercials, voice-overs and emceeing jobs that my bucket list holds more of the same. I’d like to stay healthy and keep it up as well as continuing my charity work. Of course traveling to anywhere I haven’t been is high on that list and one day I’d like to fly a plane.”

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ our cover story }

“I love the collaboration with other actors and directors as well as the support team. I love starting with a script working through it and developing a character and seeing a production evolve.” although she jokes that the only people who will read it are those “afraid they are in it.” Always in a whirlwind of activities, Rochester Woman Online was lucky enough to get Diane for an amazing cover-photo shoot and to get answers to questions about her fascinating life.

What can you tell us about growing up in Rochester?

It was a gentler time and very much a “neighborhood” based environment which made families closer and more in touch with their neighbors and community. For me it was a safe, friendly, atmosphere. PS #36 was walking distance from my home as was Benjamin Franklin High School. I have many fond memories of both and my formative years there. I still have friends from school and they always mention the spaghetti dinners my mother would cook and my Halloween parties, but their greatest memory is everyone walking to my house after ice-skating at Carter Playground where my mother had a vat of hot chocolate warming on the stove and homemade cookies waiting for them until they were picked up by their parents. This continued all through high school. Downtown Rochester was always magical but especially at Christmas, Sibley’s Christmas Tunnel, Edward’s Train and Breakfast with Santa at McCurdys. When Midtown Plaza opened, my Senior Ball was the first one ever held there and the first time off campus for my school. Some of my favorite Rochester places as a child were The Seneca 16

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

Park Zoo, Red Wing Stadium, the RKO Palace Theatre, Charlotte Beach and Seabreeze, not to mention wonderful scenery and lakes.

Do you remember what yo u r first theatre performance was?

My first “real” stage performance was for dancing school and our recital at The Auditorium Theatre. I was 4 years old and had a solo tap dance. It didn’t occur to me to be scared until Miss McCue came up to me as I was practicing my steps in the wings ready to go on and tapped her cane and said, “If you embarrass me, I’ll never forgive you!” I went out there a never missed a step. I still her voice every time I walk onto a stage.

What do you love about the theatre?

The experience of thrilling an audience and opening them up to new ideas and experiences. I love their immediate responses, whatever they are. I love the collaboration with other actors and directors as well as the support team. I love starting with a script working through it and developing a character and seeing a production evolve. I particularly like “talk-backs” with the audiences after performances – I think we learn from each other. Every production is a new adventure, challenge and learning experience.

What was the favorite role you performed?

That is very difficult to answer because I have been lucky to play so many varied characters

from Shakespeare to Sondheim and everything in between. Several stand out, however – playing my own Aunt in an award-winning play The Dreamland Bus, written by my playwright cousin, Kenneth Graham. Performing a onewoman show portraying the concert pianist and composer Clara Schumann in The Man at the Piano is Not Here, the stripper Electra in Gypsy, The Bird Woman in Mary Poppins. One of my absolute favorites was playing Safta in the JCC production of Handle With Care – a true gift, up there with Melissa Gardner in Love Letters. At various ages in my career, I played all three leading roles in Blithe Spirit from the ingénue to the “dotty” Madame Arcati.

What role did you not play that would be your dream?

The role that has always passed me by, usually because of another theatre conflict, is the female lead, Amanda Prynne, in Private Lives by Noel Coward. Now I am too old to play her.

How did you get into fundraising?

It really started with my parents when I was young. My sister, Debbie, and I always understood what it meant to be charitable both to people and to the community. I started Trick or Treating for UNICEF money the first year it started and my Mother gave me my candy at home. When I was an Auctioneer for the WXXI in my twenties, I met a wonderful man, Will Sprattling, who


ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

17


C

{ cover story }

Dubbed “a local theatre legend” by Rochester’s City Paper, Diane has graced the stage of nearly every Rochester theatre.

was the Community Relations Manager at Xerox. Because of him I learned the right way to go about working on Charity Events, Galas and being a valuable Board Member. He introduced me to a wonderful group of women and the rest is history! I have had the pleasure of serving on many Boards and am a lifetime Member of the Rochester City Ballet Board.

How do you feel about being called a Rochester legend?

Ha! Ha! It feels good! I am humbled and honored.

What are your favorite places in Rochester?

I have great fondness for Highland Park, Irondequoit Bay, Richardson’s Canal House, the Park Avenue Pub, Frontier Field, The George Eastman Museum, Eastman Theatre, Sodus Bay and High Falls to mention a few. 18

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

W hat are yo u m ost grateful for?

The love of my family and friends, the respect of my colleagues and the ability to give back to the city I grew up in.

What advice would you give a young person who wanted to pursue acting?

In my lectures and classes on acting, the point I try to drive home is that talent is NOT enough. It does help, but if you want to be successful in the theatre your reputation is what will see you through and give you longevity in this tough business we call “show”. There’s no room for prima donnas – male or female – help each other out and keep your nose clean. I also give a little cautionary advice to be careful in choosing a partner or spouse. It is sometimes difficult for normal people to “get it”. The strange hours, the time away for rehearsals, the relationships between leading men and leading ladies and processes actors go through.

Contrary to popular opinion this is a serious job that actors need to put time and energy into. A good actor is always learning and a great actor LISTENS.

What’s on your bucket list?

I have been so lucky in my life to get to do what I love: stage shows, movies, commercials, voice-overs and emceeing jobs that my bucket list holds more of the same. I’d like to stay healthy and keep it up as well as continuing my charity work. Of course traveling to anywhere I haven’t been is high on that list and one day I’d like to fly a plane.


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ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

19


2017 Rochester W

featuring: blue coral swimwear, brian mccullough shoe porn and the mrs new york pas


Woman Fashions

orn, intrique designs, Tellier studios, Chris “goodknews� cardwell st and present contestants.


Diane HARDGROVE

Mrs. Arizona America 2006, Mrs. America 2006, Mrs.World 2007, Executive Director of The Mrs. New York America Pageant Wearing a red 2-piece from Blue Coral Swimwear with pearl accessory belt from Intrigue.


Patricia Gomez Mrs. Syracuse

Wearing an army green 2-piece from Blue Coral Swimwear with this stunning necklace from Intrigue.


Wearing an army green 2-piece from Blue Coral Swimwear with this custom designed jewelry from Jennifer Tellier.


Bobbi Jo Dondorfer Mrs. Rochester

Wearing the“bridal� white 2-piece from Blue Coral Swimwear with pearl and rhinestone necklace and earrings from Intrigue.


MELISSA BRISCOE

Mrs. New York America 2003 Wearing this sport 2-piece in blue and black from Blue Coral Swimwear with a large matching necklace and earring set from Intrigue.


AMY BELL

Former Mrs. Upstate New York and Contestant Walking Coach Wearing this gorgous blue with green 2 piece from Blue Coral Swimwear with a large “statement� matching necklace and earrings from Intrigue.


BRENDA STEFFON Mrs. Greater Rochester

Wearing this black top with floral coverup from Blue Coral Swimwear and black feather and jewel necklace from Intrigue.


Â

The Mrs. New York America Pageant is held to give honor and tribute to the incredible married women across our state. For more information regarding participation in the Mrs. New York America Pageant or for appearances by our reigning Mrs. New York America, Alice Lee Giannetta at your event, please contact us at

WWW.MRSNYAMERICA.COM • www.facebook.com/mrsnyamerica


{ rw fashion feature }

BLUE CORAL SWIMWEAR, LLC. by Maja Milićević-Klugh

We all know that fashion comes and goes. Trends keep us on our toes, but they also say something about the social climate we live in. And, that doesn’t exclude bathing suits. Clothing for swimming, bathing, and seaside wear has been an important and influential area of fashionable dress since the late nineteenth century. The evolution of swimming and bathing costumes has been closely associated with trends in mainstream fashion and advancements in textile technology, but has also reflected broader societal attitudes about personal hygiene, body exposure and modesty, and whether or not it was appropriate for women to participate in active sports. Entering the swimwear market requires an understanding of the industry and its history. For instance, bikinis are not a modern invention. A fourthcentur y Greek mural depicts girls wearing twopiece outfits. Still, swimwear took centuries to go from covering the entire body to the styles currently available. This evolution is representative of the changes that have occurred in 48

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

the swimsuit industry. Recognizing these changes and current trends will ensure that your business is ready for the future of swimwear. Around sixty years ago, the world’s first bikini made its debut at a poolside fashion show in Paris. The swimsuit is now so ubiquitous that it’s hard to comprehend how shocking people once found it. When the bikini first arrived, its revealing cut scandalized even the French fashion models who were supposed to wear it;

they refused, and the original designer had to enlist a stripper instead. Callista Gifford-DeHart, founder and owner of Blue Coral Swimwear, understands importance of a good, well-fitting bikini and swimsuit. Blue Coral Swimwear started in Delray Beach Florida three years ago, but Callista started right here in Western New York. The up and coming women’s swimwear line focuses on unique designs that flatter different features on women, all while providing support and quality that makes it truly unique. Callista GiffordDeHart was raised in nearby Pavilion, went to Genesee Community College, and graduated from Buffalo State College with a degree i n Fa s h i o n Merchandising. She went on to earn an MBA from Kaplan University and comes from a family of small business owners. H e r determination, creativity, and smarts led her to become a Quality


{ rw fashion feature }

photo by:: AUGUST ben miller ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE 2017 49


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{ rw fashion feature } Blue Coral Swimwear and Callista Gifford-Dehart are focused on making women feel beautiful in their own skin. Callista’s experience in manufacturing and sewing ensures that these manufactured in America women’s swimsuits and cover ups will last many seasons.

the nation’s largest bedding manufacture. But, while she made her way through the corporate world, her childhood fascination with swimwear drove her to indulge in her passion. She often made yearly trips to see her grandparents in Tarpon Springs Florida, just north of Tampa. On every visit she would also have to see what the latest swimwear t re n d s we re a n d purchase either a new summer swimsuit or cover up. Once she moved to Florida she noticed a trend. A lot of women’s swimsuits looked the same. She became tired of seeing the same thing over and over again and wanted something different. Callista’s style can best be described as eclectic. She feels fashion and creates from her emotions like a painter creating a masterpiece. She grew up idolizing the fashion styles of Audrey Hepburn and Coco Chanel and their ability to create sophistication and make breathtaking statements through nuanced styling. Those ideas can be seen through her two current lines of swimwear, and the new

upcoming ‘Summer Romance’ line that will be released in the Spring of 2018. If you swim regularly, you’ll know that the materials used in fabrication are very important when it comes to choosing your swimwear. This is why the top swimwear

manufacturers invest a great deal of money in researching and developing new materials that can help you improve your performance, comfort levels and the longevity of your suit. For those of us who have rarely thought about why this is so crucial to swimwear design, below you will find a comprehensive guide to the different types of technical materials used by the top swimwear brands and why they are used. Sexiness isn’t about being young, hot and wearing a bikini. It’s about being powerful and feeling like you belong in your skin and it feels good. Your bikini should complement your style, and they should work to frame your body. Blue Coral Swimwear and Callista GiffordDehart are focused on making women feel beautiful in their own skin. Callista’s experience in manufacturing and sewing ensures that these manufactured in America women’s swimsuits and cover ups will last many seasons.


A LITTLE SHOE PORN

PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL


{ rw fashion feature }

Shoe Porn Designer Brian McCullough PHOTOS BY CHRISTOPHER “GOODKNEWS” CARDWELL

Born August 7, 1988 I realized I had the gift of art. I was born in New Jersey an lived in multiple places like Miami Florida, Atlanta, South Carolina, etc so I have pick up the art and design attributes from a lot of places. When I was in middle school drawing anime an flowers, I would draw anything

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I could think of. I was drawing so much, so often, that I was literally drawing images in my mind as I slept. By the time I reached high school my artistic ability had exceeded the college level so then I began drawing and designing on clothes. Soon after high school, I got into painting. I painted everything from landscapes to 3D art and after years of

this, I found that drawing and painting wasn’t a challenge anymore. That’s when I got into shoe design. I’ve been designing shoes for about four years now and my business is simple. I design my own brand of shoe, and I also do custom designs for my clients. My goal is to have the most comfortable shoes


“Chase your dreams, in high heels of course!”

on the market, while making them look like no others. One of a kind for every fashionista out there. My shoe designs are my own brand as well as custom designs that are made to fit your feet. Custom designs are made to order an can take up to 3 weeks depending on how intricate the design is. All of my

shoes are comfortable an stylish. My business is composed of a multitude of things, from drawing all types of art, to blue prints for a house and designing shoe art. I also enjoy painting various art from graffiti landscapes and all sorts of urban

art. I build my own canvas’s constructed out of wood which is helpful when I paint 3D art that you can hang on your wall. Check out all of my latest designs, and order your next pair of “shoe porn” from me by contacting me on facebook at Brian McCullough.


Making A Classy STATEMENT PHOTO BY TELLIER STUDIOS

Intrigue is a men and womens fashion boutique that has a wide variety of exotic but classy statement pieces that will surely make your outfit become an eye catcher. Contained inside of Intrigues inventory are women’s statement necklaces and blingy wrist accessories. For the men, there are elegant ties and bowties, as well as, handkerchiefs and cufflinks that will compliment any repertoire of swagger.

The birth of Intrigue rooted from the demands of my lifestyle. In the simplest way, I wanted better for my family and myself. I was tired of being dictated by the government in the sense of what I am able to achieve, where I am allowed to stay, and who I am allowed to be. After years of contemplating and waiting, last year I finally took action to achieve such goals for myself. I started off with a mere 50

dollars under my name and ever since I took that leap of faith, Intrigue has grown significantly and is still developing greatly. Even though it has been mentally and financially tough to maintain it at times, ive been blessed to have discovered a new facet of my mentality - there is no other option but to succeed.


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TALEAH ELLIOTT Edutainer | Dancer | Actress | Designer When you think of your typical 5 year old girl you probably think dolls, play dates and dance classes. And although you’d be spot on with this description of little Miss Taleah, she’s far from typical! Taleah has been on a mission since she started walking at the tender age of 9 months old. 


Her parents Charlyn and Todd Elliott, both media professionals, noticed she was special and began using their skills and influence to document her unusually accelerated process. Now at 5 years of age, Taleah is a published author of her first book entitled “Puppy Love”, an award winning competition dancer, have worked as a spokes model and have professionally modeled for major brands like Fisher Price and Lord & Taylor. As if this isn’t busy enough for her, she has teamed up with L.A. wardrobe specialist RaShante Seaborn of ReSel to develop her exclusive clothing line for the spunky little girls that like cute, comfortable, flashy fashion. Accenting her custom clothing designs, Taleah works closely with her mom Charlyn who is also designing her exclusive line of jewelry.

The Little Girl With BIG Plans! Photography by Todd Elliott

Taleah’s mission to spread love, educate and inspire others to be great, has earned her several news media interviews and she’s even received a proclamation from Monroe County Legislators. To learn more about this mini mogul and follow her journey, visit her website www.taleahmor.com. You can also find her on Facebook and Instagram @taleahmor


W { a woman’s perspective }

by MAJA KLUGH I PHOTO BY BRANDON VICK PHOTOGRAPHY

A WOMAN’S PERSPECTIVE ON

fashion

Have you asked yourself these questions? What’s your style? What’s your personality? What is Fashion to you? Fashion in the English dictionary says:a. style in clothes, cosmetics, behavior, etc., esp. the latest or most admired style b. (as modifier): a fashion magazine

Fashion has been one of the most significant phenomenon’s in the world. It affects the attitude of most people towards both themselves and others, though many might not realize it. The refutation, however, is more often than not disagreed with by our own consumption life-styles. The surfacing of fashion as a past phenomenon contributes to a main distinguishing feature with modernization, the break with tradition and a never-ending venture to reach the new world. It can be referred to as the everlasting reappearance of the new. I would say that an understanding of fashion is necessary because it helps in gaining a sufficient consideration of the modern world. However, it cannot be declared that fashion is the key capable of providing such an understanding. Fashion enables anyone (both men and women) to create personality, enhance their bodies and create first impressions. “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” —Yves Saint Laurent Fashion is an art. Fashion is a religion. It’s a job. Fashion is a peek into a personality. It’s an escape or a disguise. It’s a feast for the eyes. Fashion is something we deal with every day. Woman and fashion!!! Women are taking fashion in a big way and are experimenting with different looks, styles, and textures. Fashion plays an increasingly important role in our lives because it is considered as a means of self-expression. “In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different.” —Coco Chanel Today, fashion does not necessarily mean glamour, or the urge to follow the current trends. It is more a way of life, a reflection of inner beauty, where the intellect shines through, complete with comfort quotient. Every person nurtures an innate desire of looking good and feeling ‘accepted’ in their socio-economic circle. The word fashion instantaneously brings to mind a flash of color with a dash of glamour. “Attitude is everything.” —Diane von Furstenberg Personal style is more than fashion, it is everything with attitude. It’s how you dress, style your hair, decorate your home, act on a date, choose a gift, treat a friend, drive your car, say yes to something, say no to something, do your job, get your job, quit your job, and make your choices. Everything and I mean everything, can and should be done with a sense of style. “We must never confuse elegance with snobbery.” —Yves Saint Laurent When I say style, I’m not just referring to the latest trends or the most popular designers. I mean your personal style, the style that is uniquely suited to you and everything you think, feel, want and do. “I don’t approach fashion. Fashion approaches me!” —Daphne Guinness Fashion style is important. Your clothes make your fashion statement, and how you’re perceived. Stand straight and carry yourself with grace. You will radiate self confidence.

“The joy of dressing is an art.” —John Galliano For many years people have put some message in the way they dress. Fashion is an individual statement of expression for each of us. Clothes prompt our emotions, thoughts, attitudes and attention with many ideas and ideals of self, the world and others. They have become a non-verbal device that we as a society utilize daily based on social and career environment. “I don’t do fashion. I am fashion.” —Coco Chanel One certain thing in the fashion world is change. Fashion is a language which tells a story about the person who wears it. Fashion isn’t defined solely by our clothing choices, but also conveyed through the way we carry ourselves, our personalities and our views of the world. Fashion is everything from the way you wear your hair, your accessories, to the shoes you wear, to the clothes, to the designs and the way you carry off all these combined. “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” —Edith Head Confidence-It is among the most important things that we must master in life. It can mean the difference between you and everything you want out of life. It takes confidence to step out of your house in the morning; it takes confidence to look in the mirror and like what you see; it takes confidence to trust yourself and nail that presentation at work. Building it is a lifelong task, but there are many ways you can increase your confidence on a daily basis, and it can make a huge difference. Gaining confidence with how you dress is one way and it will inform everything you do. It cannot be underestimated how much of an impact it will have on your prospects, your personality and the way the world perceives you. “More is more and less is a bore.” —Iris Apfel My attitude towards fashion is dress to be yourself. I call myself a lover of fashion. Fashion is a tool to enhance your body and your personality, hiding those unpleasant parts while flaunting parts that are great or enhance your character. “Fashion is not something that exists in dresses only. Fashion is in the sky, in the street; fashion has to do with ideas, the way we live, what is happening”. - Coco Chanel Fashion is also important to me because I can be who I want to be through it. I don’t have to or choose to dress like everyone else, because then I wouldn’t be me. I dislike copying everyone else and being just like them. I personally think it is better for people to have their own style and not to just jump on the bandwagon because it’s “cool” and popular. People shouldn’t care what others think about them and their styles, because maybe they are inspiring someone else to be themselves. As John Fairchild has stated, “‘Style’ is an expression of individualism mixed with charisma. Fashion is something that comes after style”. It is never too late to be what you might have been. Be yourself!! Be fashion!!!


{ a woman’s perspective }

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{ fashion forward } BY CHRISSY MONROE

I sat down with Dena who is very petite with naturally beautiful Afro-Latina features. She is always dressed to the nines with her own unique eclectic style so effortlessly pulled together.

Chrissy Monroe: Please tell me a little bit where and how you grew up ?

Dena Lancry: I grew up in Europe with my

mom who was a single parent in the military I got to live in the best places such as London, Paris, and Germany , I moved to the States when I was about 15 to Texas and then went to college in Virginia where I graduated with a poilitcal science pre law degree from Norfolk University, I also became pregnant with my daughter at that time .

Chrissy Monroe:Wow!! That’s a lot of life experience at such a young age. Please tell me, how did you end up in New York?

Dena Lancry: Well, I got bit with the

TALKING STYLEWITH CHRISSY MONROE Hello readers,

fashion bug early, being in Europe and seeing all the trends that were happening at the time, designers like Guess and Girbaud were very popular and I just knew I had found my calling. So when I came to New York I noticed a lot of the trends were similar and wanted to get in the world of fashion and make my mark in my own way .

Chrissy Monroe: So how did you get your start in the big Apple?

Dena Lancry: It definitely was not easy I

Told my mom give me 6 months and if I don’t make it in the fashion industry I will be back-to go to law school obviously I’m still here lol . My first job was for Chico’s as a trim manager,that gave me enough experience to get hired by Mark Echo who was one of the biggest brands at that time.We were in the same building with the G-unit office and Complex magazine ,I was always bumping into Kanye West, Eve, and even Beyonce who was there shopping her House of Dereon line. What a great experience! I went on to work for Ralph Lauren for 10 years And even went back-to school at FIT And earn my degree and technical design for men’s fashion .

Hope that everyone has had a beautiful and stylish summer. Hard to believe we are already moving into the fall and It’s already time for the Rochester Woman fashion issue ! This month I decided to focus on a Chrissy Monroe: I am truly amazed! All this while being a single mom? Where did very special woman in the fashion of you find the time ? industry who I actually met during Lancry: Thank you! I will never fashion week-in New York City Dena say it was easy, especially doing all of this while . Her name is Dena Lancry and raising my daughter, but everything just seemed she is currently a senior product to balance out. designer at Donna Karen and is on Chrissy Monroe : What was it like working the Donna Karen women’s ready to for the legendary Ralph Lauren? wear team and currently the brand It had it’s ups and downs, Ralph is very traditional and is all about the heritage of his company. I ambassador for Reese. encountered a lot of different personalities there Needless to say this woman is very to say the least but I feel I handled them all One of the highlights of those years accomplished and I am intrigued gracefully. was working with Madonna , lebron James and with her success and wanted to know designing for the U.S.Olympic team . how she got where she is today in the Chrissy Monroe: You are amazing me more very competitive world of fashion . and more with your accomplishments !! Please

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tell me your goals for the future and where you see yourself in 5 years on this glamorous career path ? Dena Lancry: I would love to have my own fashion line, P.R. firm and would love to continue styling some of the world’s top entertainers and trendsetters .

Chrissy Monroe: Who are some of your favorite designers now?

Dena Lancry: I love Vera Wang ,her

designs are so chic and I am definitely a Coco Chanel girl for life !!

Chrissy Monroe: How do you feel about

the Internet and fashion? Do you think that social media and the Internet have changed the fashion industry?

Dena Lancry:Absolutely! The Internet

has made everything much more convenient for the consumer it’s all about fast fashion now, a quick fix ! Who really has time to go to the mall anymore when you can just have a complete ensemble at your door-step in 24 hours? Times are definitely changing and I have no problem with it.

Chrissy Monroe: Please give me your fall fashion forecast for 2017 .

Dena Lancry: I definitely see a lot of animal skins and prints in the same colors. It’s all about texture this fall.

I also predict a chunky heel as most women want that height and bit of sex appeal but are turning more towards comfort and practicality to fit into their busy lifestyles .

Chrissy Monroe: What advice would you

give someone coming to New York wanting to get into the fashion industry?

Dena Lancry: Do not let anyone or anything

stop you! If I can make it as an Afro-Latina woman in this Industry anyone can. I have encountered racism, sexism and all kind of negativity but I brush it right off and keep going ! If you have a dream in your heart follow it like I said earlier, it won’t be easy but the rewards are endless.

Chrissy Monroe: I am truly inspired by you and I love how you are always giving back! I recently added you to the board of directors for my domestic-violence foundation Survive to Thrive Global. I am so pleased with everything you have already contributed to help us help others. Dena Lancry:I am honored to be on

board and look forward to helping organize our Fashion week event this winter, we can save a lot of lives collectively! It’s amazing how we met and everything just fell into place !

Chrissy Monroe: Yes !! Thank you so much

for your time! You are an amazing woman who I am now happy to call my friend and have learned so much from in a short period of time. Dena Lancry: Awww Thank you and thank you to Rochester Woman for the opportunity to tell my story !


{ fashion forward }

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{ you can be...! }

hair & makeup by mary therese friel

Take a moment to stand in front of your mirror and look at yourself. Do you like what you see? Are there changes that you can make so that you will be happier? It’s important that you like that person staring back at you. Hopefully you are happy with what you see. If not, think of what simple things you can do to “alter” that perception and embrace that reflection staring back at you. And please, don’t be too quick to criticize - look for the best in that reflection. Maybe you want to loose a few pounds, or get into better shape; maybe a new hairstyle will do the trick or even trying a different makeup routine. Changing things up a bit can make you feel like a whole new person. Sometimes just a little “update” can make all the difference. In my last column we dealt with health and fitness. In this installment, I’d like to talk to you about hair and makeup. Deciding what your best look will be when it comes to your hair is a personal choice - choose carefully. Select a cut, style and color that flatters you, and one that you can live with. Equally important is the choice of the right

makeup and its correct application. Makeup is meant to enhance your natural beauty, draw attention to your best attributes and hide flaws.

Hair

Many people look upon their hair as their “crowning glory.” Maybe you do too. So the choices they you make regarding it are very important. Those choices reflect your personality, sense of style and how you feel about yourself. You need to consider how your choices will affect you and those around you. Some people really enjoy their hair, they use it like a fashion accessory; dying it, cutting it, beading it, shaving it, perming it, streaking it, crimping it, braiding it or rolling it. Some even add extensions to it. Others choose to cover it up by using a wig or fall. To determine the correct haircut or style, consider these things: the shape of your face, the kind of hair that you have, your lifestyle, how handy you are and how much time you have to spend on it. Go with a style you can live with, work with and love. When choosing a color, consider your skin tone, eye color and best overall colors. Work with a reputable hairdresser or stylist. If you are unsure of a

style, look in a beauty magazine for options or ask a person who sports the style you admire where they had their hair done. Whatever you decide to do, be sure to select the right look that will work wonders for your total appearance. General rules of hair care • Use a good shampoo and cream rinse/ conditioner. 
 • Avoid too much heat on your hair or using harsh chemicals • Brush carefully so as not to break hairs or split ends and get regular trims to keep hair healthy and curtail splits. 
 • Deep condition when necessary and avoid over-perming or over-coloring. 
 • Avoid doing anything that would cause permanent or irreversible damage. 
 • Consider consulting an expert whenever making any major decisions about your hair, which will affect your overall look and confidence. 
 • When deciding on looks for children, choose easy cuts and manageable styles.

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{ you can be... } Take a moment to stand in front of your mirror and look at yourself. Do you like what you see? Are there changes that you can make so that you will be happier? It’s important that you like that person staring back at you.

• For teenagers, choose classic or trendy, conservative or drastic, but choose carefully. The wrong decision could be devastating. • For women, choose an age-appropriate look. Be realistic. Consider the role you play and the image you are trying to convey.


Makeup

If you need help, consider consulting the experts. You can ask a professional makeup artist at a salon, or one at a cosmetic counter in a store or an independent one you may meet on set or in training, for advice. You can also do your research - there are many fine books available on the subject of makeup and its application. Whenever possible use products that are waterbased for everyday use, as opposed to makeup that is oil based and used more for performing, say, on stage. FYIcheck out the ingredients. The first ingredient listed has the highest concentration (also, check to see if those products are animal tested or not). Shop carefully, selecting products that are appropriate for you. Look for items within your budget, don’t overtax yourself. The right makeup choices and the correct application of it, are the keys to a successful
end look. 
 Remember, makeup fads will come and go, but your look should have a lasting impression, so, choose the right color combinations that will give you a “harmonized” look. Ultimately, do avoid looking “made-up” and don’t hide behind your makeup; remember, less is more. 
 For a touch of glamour, makeup can be the ticket! Not every person wants to 70

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look like a model, but there are times that you do want to look and feel a bit more glamorous.

Preparation

1.Wash and moisturize, using a mild soap and warm water (not hot), and a soft washcloth. You may prefer a facial cleanser/beauty bar, instead of soap. 2. Pat dry with a clean towel 


3. Follow up with a moisturizer compatible with your skin type. 
 Some helpful tips as you get prepared to start your application… • Have all of your makeup ready before you start.
 • Remove everything from the packaging, shake then all and remove the lids. Sharpen any dull points. 
 When applying your makeup… • Apply makeup in such a way that you look like you’re not wearing makeup at all, that you’re just naturally perfect!
 • Avoid being “too colorful” or “too made up”. 
 • Always use your makeup to enhance your best attributes or to hide flaws. 
 • Try to keep it natural. Neutral tones allow your natural beauty to shine through. • Keep your makeup clean and germ free. Don’t share your makeup or hair-care products. 
 • Be sure to retouch your makeup periodically to keep it looking fresh. 
 The most important result is to look and feel great. Your light shines from the inside out. So whatever you choose to do, be it a little update or a complete makeover, choose wisely and carefully and take your time. When you’re all done, you want that reflection in the mirror to be a happy, confident and self-assured person smiling back.


{ #jessaying }

BARBETORIUM BY JES SUTTON

Texture, Movement ,Shapes

when you think of those words when it comes to hair you would think Woman’s hair .. Not Anymore , these are the words Men are using with their Barbers /Stylist these days . Be it a Short Textured Cropped haircut , or a Mid Length McDreamy Movement wavy style, or a Shoulder Length with movement . Guys of all ages are curious what their can do more these days then ever. And are changing it more frequently instead of waiting a year or more its more like every few months .

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With learning everything from what shapes and styles work with their face shape , body , and lifestyle , and with the Plethora of Products that are on the market targeting men , They have more Options then ever ! Then you throw, Blow-driers , brushes and even flat irons in to the mix and they have more to do with their hair then most Teenage Girls ! Still looking for that Perfect place to take care of your Hair , these are a few things to consider . If you are new to a city , ask Guys who have hair you like where they Go , They will be flattered you Noticed ! If your to shy to ask look up on line some places and see what people are saying about them , maybe book just a neck trim .See how they treat you and how well they work with

their team members ! When booking a haircut , if they don’t mention it ask if they build in consultations time before just Cutting Away , its so Important! You also don’t want to go to a Barbershop that’s over books or just does walk ins , or a salon that is fitting you in-between a woman’s color , you definitely are not going to get what you want ! Stay tuned to this space for more tips, tricks and style Sessions If you are afraid of the haircut costing more then $25 , just think you spend more on coffee and cocktails in a day then your hair every 3-4 weeks !! #JesSaying


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“Mark and M.E. makes you feel sexy from head to toe!”

1775 Mt Hope Ave I Rochester, NY 14620


0 I (585) 473-7360 I www.marknme.com/


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{ all about m.e. } by mary elizabeth nesser

GOOD TO GO

In this day and age, everyone is busy. There just doesn’t seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done. It’s hard to find time to workout, plan your meals, work full time, run errands and have sex. Once all of those tasks are taken care of, when are you going to take care of all those personal grooming items on your list? None of the above mentioned activities are as fulfilling if you don’t feel good about yourself.

When your gray hairs are busting through, your legs are hairy, your nails are chipped… you just don’t feel right. Face it, not feeling properly groomed can put a damper on your entire day. Some women don’t color their hair or do their nails, but I think most women have some grooming ritual that disrupts their sense of well being when it’s neglected. Fortunately, we live in a society that has figured out how to optimize our time and make us feel prettier with little to no effort. Since some women are high maintenance, there are numerous services available to make their lives much easier. For instance, it takes time to pencil in your eyebrows. Voila! Now we have a new craze called microblading that is offered all over our city. Microblading is a semi-permanent tattooing service that lasts roughly 12-18 months. It has been a huge hit at Mark & M.E. and if you haven’t seen how realistic it looks, you need to check it out. The ink is applied in a manner that looks like hair. It looks so much more natural then having your brows tattooed the old-fashioned way. You can also get eyelash extensions. Another brilliant, time saving option. It takes 3-4 coats of mascara before I’m satisfied with the way my eyes look when I’m doing my makeup. When you have extensions, you don’t need any mascara. Since the extensions are normally longer then your natural lashes, you automatically look that much prettier and more awake. If you are one of the countless women who have had the brows and the lashes done, then you can get out of bed and just go! There is a product on the market called Dry Shampoo that is extremely popular these days. There are numerous companies that make dry shampoos and your hairdresser should be able to suggest a good brand for you. The purpose of a dry shampoo is to avoid washing and drying your hair on a daily basis. When you spray dry shampoo in your hair, it can give you a “just washed” and/or finished look without having to start from scratch every day. Think of how much time that can save. There is also a salt spray that can be applied to dry hair that can revitalize your curl so you can sport that beach wave look that is so popular. We are fortunate to have a multitude of products on the market that can make your hair styling regimen easy and fast. This generation wants to save time, but they are not patient. For example, we don’t want to wait for our hair to grow. That is why we get hair extensions. Within minutes, your shoulder length hair turns into long, luxurious waves. You can have them

professionally done or do them yourself. It’s nice to know we have so many options. Since most women work, they don’t have time to get their nails done weekly. That is why our industry offers gel manicures. Gel polish is cured under a light and can last up to four weeks. It usually needs to be soaked off, because it stays that well. It also dries instantly. No more blowing on your fingers or sticking your hands in the freezer to wait for your nails to dry. If I don’t have to worry about spending a lot of time doing my hair and makeup, I have so much more time to do what I want. Like going to the gym, for example. I can’t fit in an hour workout and then an additional hour primping before work every day. I need things to be easy to maintain so I don’t have to get up at three in the morning to find the time to get everything accomplished. Our generation has even made working out easier. There are workout facilities everywhere you look. And if you don’t like going to the gym, there are exercise channels on television and countless workout tapes you can buy. You can also purchase any kind of workout equipment imaginable. The options are endless. Now to my favorite timesaving salon service - waxing. Although getting any body part waxed may cause some immediate discomfort, it is generally a quick service that has more benefits then you could ever imagine. Getting a Brazilian, for example, is the most empowering type of wax you’ll ever get. It makes that part of the body feel cleaner, smoother and sexier. Shaving that area can cause irritation that can last for days. In addition, shaved hair often tends to get itchy and scratchy when it grows back in. I was talking to two clients about this topic. The one woman told me having a Brazilian gives her more options when she is picking out a swimsuit. There is never any concern whether or not there is pubic hair protruding from any area. They also said that they always feel prepared for anything. If they decide to go to the pool, they are ready. They don’t need to take a shower and go through the acrobatic process of trying to shave our most complicated body part. It’s also makes it possible for you to be ready to have sexy time with another person whenever and wherever. There is nothing more embarrassing than when you’re in the heat of the moment and either you are sporting a 70’s bush that he is going to get tangled in or you are so prickly from shaving that everyone is going to be left with a brush burn. Today’s woman is smart and sexy and good to go! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ angela’s advice }

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{ angela’s advice } by angella luyk

I am all about showing your individuality. After all I am the girl with purple, or pink or bright burgundy hair. I however do not think you should show your individuality with how you dress. It is sad to say, but we do judge each other based on appearance. Research shows that your appearance strongly influences other people’s perception of your financial success, authority, trustworthiness, intelligence, and suitability for hire or promotion. And well, perception (in the mind of those who judge us is reality to them) what you wear not only communicates who you are in the minds of others, but also influences your level of career advancement.

How do you dress at work?

Unfortunately, we as a society often judge each other on the way we dress. Business casual, corporate dress, casual dress down? There are so many options, which one is right for you? I have often heard “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” By dressing for the job, you want you are showing people that you are ready and understand the dynamics of dressing for the new promotion.

The outfit you wore to the club that all your friends complimented you on, is not the outfit to wear to work. I am not saying you need to wear a 3-piece buttoned up business suit to work every day. I am however saying think before you dress. I was reading an article on line from Forbes that I found interesting. Allow me to quote them for accuracy.

1.“Tall people get paid more money: A 2004

study by Timothy Judge at the University of Florida found that for every inch of height, a tall worker can expect to earn an extra $789 per year. That means two equally skilled coworkers would have a pay differential of nearly $5,000 per year, simply because of a 6-inch height differential, according to the study.

2.Fat people get paid less: Obese workers (those

who have a Body Mass Index of more than 30) are paid less than normal-weight coworkers at a rate of $8,666 a year for obese women, and $4,772 a year for obese men, according to a George Washington University study that cited data from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth in 2004. And other studies indicate obese women are even more likely to be discriminated against when it comes to pay, hiring and raises.

3.Blondes get paid more: A 2010 study from

the Queensland University of Technology studied 13,000 Caucasian women and found blondes earn greater than seven percent more than female employees with any other hair color. The study said the pay bump is equivalent to the boost an employee would generally see from one entire year of additional education.

4.Workers who work out get paid more:

According to a study in the Journal of Labor Research, workers who exercise regularly earn nine percent more on average than employees who don’t work out. The study from Cleveland State University claims people who exercise three or more times a week earn an average of $80 a week more than their slothful coworkers.

5.Women who wear makeup make more: Not

only do people judge beauty based on how much makeup a woman is wearing, make-up adorned women also rank higher in competence and trustworthiness, according to a study funded by Procter & Gamble, Massachusetts General Hospital, Harvard Medical School, Boston University, and the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute. A study in the American Economic Review said women who wear make-up can earn more than 30 percent more in pay than non-makeup wearing workers.

6.Handsome people are paid handsomely: A

Yale University study from Daniel Hamermesh finds employers pay a beauty premium to attractive employees. The beautiful workers earn an average of roughly five percent more, while unattractive employees can miss out on up to almost nine percent, according to the study.

7.If you’re too pretty, it’s a pity: Generally

speaking, attractive people make out when it comes to salary and hiring. But what about the exceedingly attractive among us? If you’re an attractive man, don’t sweat it because you always enjoy an advantage, according to a 2010 study that appeared in the Journal of Social Psychology. However, women rated as very attractive face discrimination when applying to “masculine” jobs.”

Wow what is a person to do? Here are a few tips for dressing professionally on the job: 1. Stock your closet -- Start with some versatile basics perhaps a pair of black pants, or a dark pant suit, even some button-down collared shirts and a classic pair of dark shoes. Once you have these staples, you can build your wardrobe to give you plenty of options.

2.Keep it neat and clean – This goes without

saying, make sure your pants, shirts and other clothes are ironed, stain-free and in good condition. When your clothes look sloppy, so do you. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ angella’s advice } The outfit you wore to the club that all your friends complimented you on, is not the outfit to wear to work. I am not saying you need to wear a 3-piece buttoned up business suit to work every day. I am however saying think before you dress.

3.Steer clear of bar attire -- Don’t mistake the

office for the local watering hole. You are not going out clubbing. Leave the slinky shirts, tight pants and cut off t-shirts at home.

There are many options for you. Professional attire which is the most formal consist of full suits. This is appropriate for everyday wear in certain professions, and for special presentations and meetings in more casual atmospheres. Suits, button down shirts (and ties) for men and tailored blouses for women, and dress shoes for both. Business casual which is a bit more relaxed. Button-down shirts and pants for men, and a skirt or pants with a blouse or appropriate sweater for women. Wearing a coordinating sport coat or blazer is fine. Khakis and a polo shirt that bears the corporate logo are usually acceptable for both genders. Women should avoid leggings, stirrup pants, miniskirts. The final look is casual. This is reserved for the most casual work environments, casual wear can include jeans, sneakers, polo shirts or sport shirts. Avoid wearing jogging suits, T-shirts, skimpy sandals or flip-flops, sweat pants, muscle shirts or any revealing clothing. 82

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If you are going to wear jewelry, makeup, perfume, and cologne this should be in good taste, with limited visible body piercing. Remember, that some employees are allergic to the chemicals in perfumes and make-up, so wear these substances with restraint. Corporate dressing helps you get noticed and stand apart from the rest. You need to create your own unique style to survive the

competition. Why would your boss pick you for that important business deal if there is no difference between you and everyone else? Dressing formally gives you that extra edge, it makes you feel confident and fresh throughout the day. The moment you put on your formal clothes, you tend to be alert and attentive at work. Corporate dressing inculcates a sense of pride and team spirit among employees, one of the most essential factors which decides the growth chart of an individual. It is essential for employees to make a mark of his/her own at the workplace, you can do this by wearing a statement piece of jewelry or a bold colored shoe. If in doubt think of it like this, “Would I wear this to the club or to go out with the girls to a bar?” If yes, then most likely it is not appropriate for the office. Angella Luyk is a national award-winning business owner at Angella Luyk LLC, Midnight Janitorial, and One Stop Janitorial and Office Supply. She understands what business owners go through and wants to help end the struggles with proven techniques. For more information check out her website angellaluyk.com or send her an email successhappnes@ angellaluyk.com Bring her donuts and she will provide the coffee. Connect with her today and start taking your business to the next level.


“With Artistix, you’re not just wearing a piece of clothing, you’re wearing art, something that came from somebody’s soul.” - Greg Polisseni


{ The “o” Talk }

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{ the “o” talk }

bY ortensia deloren i photos by lush light photography

“ W i t h o u t foundations,” Christian Dior said, “there can be no fashion.” Fashion. The word itself evokes different feelings, images, and sensations. It conjures up sumptuous and spectacular gowns woven by personalities big and small. Cristobal Balenciaga, Coco Chanel, and of course Dior. Fashion evokes the styles of legendary women.

. Princess Grace. Jackie Kennedy. Audrey Hepburn. Fashion is an industry steeped in human history as much as the psyche. Behind the textiles and silhouettes is a performance of fashion. I’m not simply referring to the catwalk, either. Fashion exemplifies who and what we are. An extension of our selves. It can boost the confidence of the wearer, inspire jealously or admiration of onlookers, or indeed anger a nation. When Dior unveiled his first collection on the morning of February 12, 1947, it was hailed by fashion’s elite as the ‘new’ look – while his fellow French compatriots considered it extravagance in a time of great austerity. Who could believe that fabric has such power! Performing fashion is more than just wearing clothes – it is the desired perceptions of who we are and how we want to be seen. It is constructing an identity. From classical Greece, to modern Manhattan, the way we dress can represent more than our social, ethnic, political, regional or national identity. The beret is considered a symbol of French identity, despite its Spanish origins. Though lambasted as such, headdresses like the burka are not exclusive to Islamic beliefs. White gowns were associated with early 20th century suffragettes, while black is a staple for… well…pretty much any New Yorker. Fashion can be a great unifier – or divider. Regardless of backgrounds and affinities, as the summer draws to a close, closets all around the county begin the seasonal changeover from summer to fall. Bright, floral prints are exchanged for more earthy tones, while heavier fabrics slowly but surely re-enter the fray. For years, it has been something of a ritual. The Changing of the (sartorial) Guard, if you will. And while many will be transitioning their wardrobes from one season to the next, my own transition has placed me to start anew. Navigating unknown waters – and closets – can be a bit treacherous. After two months going full ‘T’, I knew the time had come to get rid of clothes. After all, they represent a former state and stage of my life. But if I were to take Dior’s cue, there certainly

wasn’t much foundation to stand on. A few leggings, several (gender-neutral) shirts, and all my drag outfits. After the panicking and one (or two) tears, I realized there was nothing to be saddened by. There was no need to worry about the few outfits for daywear. No need to fret about the lack of workwear. This was an opportune moment to buy clothing that matched my personality and my new gender! To reinforce my personal brand of Ortensia Èstelle de Loren. And, let’s be frank, who doesn’t love a good shopping spree?! With an undisclosed amount of money, I relied on three main sources: Family & Friends; Retail & Thrift stores; and the Web. Of all the women in my family, the one I knew I could turn to was my mère. A fashion muse in her own right, my mother ranks among my fashion influencers. I remembered her closet fondly. The times I spent surrounding by fabulous gowns and suits as I browsed through her Vogue magazines. My mother has since become one of my biggest supporters: from my early months as a drag queen, to the early weeks as a transwoman. “You don’t need everything to be so damn tight!” she exclaimed one Sunday afternoon. After many pleas, she agreed to grant me access to her chamber of fashionable secrets. Among the prized possessions were at least three dresses; suits cut in the same shape and in a variety of colors; multitudes of pants and skirts; jewels belonging to my late grandmother (another fashion muse and influencer); and half a dozen bags. The price tag? Zero dollars! After all, a daughter’s new path is best laid with free things! The Pierre Cardin dress an exception, and suits that could be worn to work, I still felt my new wardrobe lacked my identity. So I ventured to the next place I thought I would never trespass – the brick-and-mortar retail shop. Things have certainly changed since Cher and Dionne walked the malls. Not that I loathe going into shops. I just hate gate going to otherwise drab malls! Nevertheless, I ventured to several stores in the area. Chains and otherwise. After a weeklong venture, I could find nothing. NOTHING! Either the fit was too odd, the cut way different than on ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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O { the “o” talk }

If Dior quipped that fashion lays the foundation, let everyone build their own. It’s more than just the body and fashion but the value one places on oneself. The ability to walk out the door and show yourself to the world. Fearlessly, and with confidence.

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the mannequin, or the price tag too much for the quality. Pacing and judging, I gave up on the likes of NY & Co., Lane Bryant, and others. The time had come to go online. And it was anything but underwhelming.

Perhaps Mother Fortune shined upon me. I was thoroughly surprised by my online results. Amazon has been my new fashion destiny. Swing dresses. Pencil skirts. Opera gloves. Evening gowns with décolletage, others meant for business. I’m in absolute heaven! Shoes, admittedly, have been a hit or miss. While some designers were successful, others were more than difficult to navigate. Praise Prime returns! For the court shoe enthusiast (pumps, in American vernacular), I would definitely recommend Shoes of Prey (shoesofprey.com). What can be better than buying shoes? Buying customized shoes! I have no regrets.

Glossing through Alexander Fury’s editorial book on Christian Dior’s collection from 1947 to the present, I realized I’ve been unconsciously fascinated with the dressmaker’s New Look. The art of ultra-feminine and ultra-luxe, the styles of the 1940s and 50s recall a time I didn’t experience. However, the nipped waist and padded hips recall a world very present to me – the world of drag. There is no greater representation of performing fashion than through the art of drag. Throughout history,

drag queens have been entertainers as well as agents of social and politics issues. Despite some men and women – both straight and gay – who abhor drag for its flamboyant and, oftentimes, confusing display, drag queens have pushed the envelope as avant-garde artists with out-of-this-world personalities. And while being trans and a drag queen are not mutually exclusive, drag has nevertheless allowed me to become comfortable with who I am. I may get a few looks while wearing a dress lifted by a tutu, but I also get many compliments. Onlookers – supporters and detractors – may find my sartorial choices one way or the other. It’s as much of their right as it is my prerogative. If Dior quipped that fashion lays the foundation, let everyone build their own. It’s more than just the body and fashion but the value one places on oneself. The ability to walk out the door and show yourself to the world. Fearlessly, and with confidence. A person of great confidence does more good when they can also inspire future generations to love who they are, what they do, and where they go in life. And that’s more chic than any label. Kiss Kiss Dahlings,

Ortensia


{ the “o” talk }

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Our Mission: Providing people with developmental, physical or intellectual disabilities a barrier-free, safe, accessible place to experience the health benefits and joy of play through baseball, other team sports, and adaptive recreational equipment.

No Boundaries, Only Possibilities.

Serving children and adults from throughout Monroe County.

To learn more or make a donation, visit

www.RochesterMiracleField.org

Decorative Bench

The only fully accessible outdoor playing field and boundless playground in our community.


HER EDGE NOT YOUR

TYPICAL BODYBUILDING CHAMPION


B

{ her edge }

bY rebecca jaffrian i photos by john myers

NOT YOUR TYPICAL BODYBUILDING CHAMPION

When she is not training, working out or competing, she is a Labor and Delivery Nurse at Rochester General Hospital.

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Labor and delivery nurses have the incredible opportunity to guide women and their families through one of the most transformative experiences of their lives – childbirth. Along with providing routine and emergency care to mothers, these nurses are often responsible for the initial stabilization and care of the newborn immediately after birth. The term “labor and delivery (L&D) nurse” does not adequately describe the wide scope of this branch of the nursing profession. L&D nurses must be quick thinkers, good communicators, and rapid assessors to treat unpredictable shifts in the health of mom and baby with compassion and safety. It also requires a great deal of strength and stamina to work as a Labor and Delivery nurse. In August 2014, Beth felt she was starting to lose both. This led the 55 year old to trainer, Jean-Claude Desaurdouin where she started to tone up and regain some of that lost strength. Over the first six months, she slowly began to see some physical transformation, but what she noticed more was how much better she began to feel.

Why do you do what you do?

\The intense training that I do is physically challenging, yet energizing… and it is an amazing stress reducer. As I transform and strengthen my body, it translates into a great feeling of accomplishment. And that feeling spills over into my overall well-being.

How do you train to maintain your body?

Off-season, I train three times a week. When preparing for a competition, I am in the gym four times a week, and occasionally five for an extra cardio session. Outside of the gym, I also work with a posing coach, Shalom Gause. Being a former Ms. Buffalo herself (2009 Bikini Division) — and an experienced veteran of many bodybuilding competitions, she is great partner to have to refine the nuances of form as well as the composition of a routine.

Tell us about your diet?

Whether I am training or not, I try to eat well, which includes lots of vegetables and protein

(chicken, turkey and fish), but if I want to have something likes gnocchi and meatballs — my faves — or a piece of pie, I will have it. Moderation is always a good concept. In-season, diet becomes more complicated and when a competition is approaching, it can be very scientific. At about 4 weeks out, I rely solely on JC to manage my diet on a week-to-week and then day-to-day basis. It is highly individualized because every person’s body responds differently to specific foods or food groups. Typically, it is HIGH protein, HIGH vegetable broken into 6 SMALL meals per day including protein shakes. I also adhere to a vitamin and supplement regimen to meet my nutritional needs. Being a nurse presents a number of eating challenges as newborns coming into the world rarely do so on a schedule that allows for meal breaks so I have to be prepared with a food bag and a number of ready options for when I can’t sit down to take a proper meal. Another definite challenge is how to keep food being interesting when I’m in the second and sit down to take a proper meal. Another definite challenge is how to keep food being interesting when I’m in the second and third month of prep for a competition. At that point, food has been limited for a number of weeks so it can sometimes be relegated to purely being a fuel. As such, I really enjoy talking to other competitors about their food regimen and sharing tips, ingredients and recipes. One of the best that I’ve conjured up on my own is a turkey loaf with zucchini and sweet potato. My husband and I serve it sliced thick on a field of greens with a heavy dose of chili sauce on the side. It is tasty!

Tell us how you got into COMPETITIVE bodybuilding?

I started to go to Glow around 2011 when all of the nurses on my floor decided that we needed some color for a friend’s wedding. They were headed to see Anne Marie DeSalvo for


{ her edge }

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{ her edge } “The intense training that I do is physically challenging, yet energizing… and it is an amazing stress reducer. As I transform and strengthen my body, it translates into a great feeling of accomplishment. And that feeling spills over into my overall well-being.”

the event so I made an appointment with her. Little did I know how fateful that phone call would be! Anne Marie is the premiere supplier of sunless tanning services to the local bodybuilding world. As such, as we became friends, she kept saying to me that I was a natural and that I should think about competing one day. I told her that I was blessed with good genes but it was NEVER something that I considered nor did I take it seriously. Fast forward another three and a half years to the spring and summer of 2014 and I find myself regularly working out at the gym where I am being asked by other people what show I was preparing for? They had seen me training hard — with JC, a former NPC National Bodybuilding Champion as well as a Mr. Universe — so they simply assumed that all of that sweat was for a purpose. Then, in August of 2015 — after being at the gym for about a year —my husband, who is a very goal oriented person, asked me if there was “a goal” to my training. There did NOT need to be, but that kind of quickly turned into a conversation with JC who said, in his patented French lilt, that I could absolutely go on stage. My first thought was No! It was also my second and third. But then it became Maybe? And within a week, I wrapped my head around the concept and decided to go for it! So, I entered my first competition, the 2015 OCB Eastern USA. It was held at 96

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Greece Olympia HS and was promoted by Paul Iatomasi, Sr. Paul and his two sons, Paul and Da. They are bodybuilding legends in the Rochester area and they run some topnotch events. I was excited and nervous that first time on stage. It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t prepared — because my husband made sure that I was! It was more that everything was new, and I really didn’t know what to expect. Just walking across the stage was a feat. Even so, I won my first trophy that October night. It felt special — and pretty cool — and somewhere inside, it ignited a competitive desire for me to come back and to do better. I have NEVER played a sport or had taken any competitive opportunity seriously in the whole of my 50 plus yeas so this was a completely

foreign concept to me, but I embraced it and that drive has served me well in what is now approaching two years — and 6 more competitions — since.

Tell us about your background. How you were brought up? Who were some of your role models growing up?

I grew up in a large extended Italian family in Endicott, NY. My father worked for IBM. His job took our family overseas on three occasions where I was fortunate enough to live, spending extended time in Germany, France and Switzerland. We travelled extensively while we were in Europe. My parents exposed us to many cultures, languages and foods. I started taking ballet when I was 4 and I continued up through my high school years. The ballerinas mesmerized me as they danced across the stage. In many ways, I think that although bodybuilding and ballet have little in common in the immediate sense, I think that my approach to the posing requirements and my routine incorporates many of the principles of dance.

Who or what are your biggest inspirations for your life?

My grandmother, Tess, on my father’s side, was an exceptional woman and role model. She raised two children alone while working full time at the Endicott Johnson shoe factory. She was a loving, strong, determined, independent woman who I treasure deeply. She gave me many things, not the least of which are my best recipes!


{ her edge }

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{ her edge } “I was excited and nervous that first time on stage. It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t prepared — because my husband made sure that I was! It was more that everything was new, and I really didn’t know what to expect. Just walking across the stage was a feat.”

What are some of your professional goals for the future?

As long as I feel good and continue to enjoy competing, I would like to pursue my pro card with the NPC (National Physique Committee). The sport of bodybuilding for women is a small sliver in numbers compared to the men’s side of the equation. As I’ve competed, I’ve met some amazing women who like me, would like to see it grow and thrive. I am not sure (yet) what is needed to make that possible, but it is strongly in my mind. When driving back from Pittsburgh after competing at the recent NPC Masters Nationals, I was thinking that I would like to become a test judge if only to see what it is like to sit on the other side of the table. Lastly, bodybuilding is an expensive pursuit.That has only become truer as I’ve now moved from local to regional to national venues so I continue to look for sponsorships that make sense for both myself and the sponsoring party. With another national show coming up at the end of August, this is a real pursuit!

What are your three (3) biggest accomplishments?

Even though I wear scrubs at work, I have a definite thing for uniforms: from airplane flaggers to hard hats to fireman to policemen to horse jockeys, I’d love to look at trying many jobs, but perhaps only for a day or a week!

For many women, having a child is not an easy process. Such was the case for me so, after some significant hardships, my husband and I welcomed our son 17 years ago this past July. Bill still calls him ‘our miracle baby’. I do believe that he always will.

Every journey begins with a step, and that step many times begins with inspiration: found, given or taken, as the circumstances may be, from someone else. Such was the case for Beth Mandyck who — at age 55 — has not only used it to become a national level masters bodybuilder, but now passes it along to a new generation of women.

Obtaining my nursing degree! Ten years of college and three degrees later I finally got it right.

Being married for 21 years to a fabulous man who spoils me, who cheers loudly for me, who speaks French and Italian to me, who sings (and dances) with me, who laughs with me, and who still frequently surprises me.

If you could not to be doing what you are doing, what other occupation would you have chosen? Why?

Over the next four months, she will be joining us for a monthly column to explore THE THREAD OF INSPIRATION as well as some other themes from her journey, which is still very much in progress. Please look for Beth next month when she returns to our pages in our September issue.


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{ healthy suppliments }

“Cleanse Away” Detox your body with these top Supplements BY PAUL IATOMASI, JR.

When someone comes into a Vitamin/ Nutrition store they usually are coming in for a specific product or for a certain reason to see an improvement somewhere in their overall health or physical appearance. Most people think doing a “detox” will make them lose all kinds of weight but its usually not bodyfat, sometimes it’s a little bit of fat but most of the weight loss you see is from the removal of unwanted toxins. But removing more toxins actually will set yourself up for more fat loss if done correctly. I know what are the top supplements to help someone cleanse and detox. We always have a Special Sale on these products listed at the GNC in Collegtown, Webster and Victor locations. Drum roll please….Here is the list:

Product Number 1 (Goldenseal):

Goldenseal extract is a common remedy for cleansing the body. This herb helps you get rid of harmful toxins by increasing the elimination of fluids from the body. This, in turn, can prevent many potential diseases.Another one of the Goldenseal root benefits is its cleansing and antibiotic effect on wounds in the skin. In addition, Goldenseal extract improves lymph circulation in order to accelerate the healing process. It can also help treat ear infections. Since it boosts your immune system, your body can easily defend itself against invaders like bacteria before they have a chance to infect the tissues. Also, lymph drainage in the ear area becomes more efficient. Goldenseal extract can treat and prevent heartburn. It helps calms the central nervous system. It has sedating and relaxing effects, which could help with falling asleep faster 100

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and not waking up throughout the night. It lowers your blood pressure and slows your heartbeat. Goldenseal root makes all your internal system and organs function more effectively and efficiently. This includes your pancreas, intestines, colon, liver, spleen, circulatory and respiratory systems, and more.

also helpful in managing chronic constipation. The Psyllium works very effectively with high water consumption as it make the psyllium expand in the colon then pushes all toxins out of the digestive track along with it. So water consumption is key with this plant fiber.

Product Number 2 (Psyllium Seed Husk):

Other Standout Detox/ Cleansing Supplements:

Psyllium husk benefits digestion by keeping the colon contents moist, malleable, and in this way reduces cramps, pain, and bowel irregularity in irritable bowel syndrome. It is

There are still another handful I would recommend. But honorable mention to these other products:

3) Milk Thistle: Helps detox and cleanse the liver and supports healthy cell balance in the liver. 4) Licorice Root: Not only is it a big time immune booster and anti-viral agent but is a potent colon cleanser. 5) Aloe Vera Juice: Aloe Vera Juice (Or Gel) is a very soothing natural cleanser. It also helps with ulcers, colitis and crones disease. I would recommend people who are interested to go see myself or my good friend Justin who owns and operates a GNC located on Mt.Hope in College Town Plaza. Or also Tim and Matt Ellis from the Webster or Victor GNC locations. All 3 locations have special deals especially if you mention this article. Paul Iatomasi is a Professional Natural Bodybuilder, Nutrition Specialist and Contest Prep Coach as well as a Bodybuilding Contest Promoter and Fitness Model. Paul can be reached via email at pauliatomasi@gmail.com or follow him on Facebook and Instagram (Paul Iatomasi Jr).


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{ in her own words }

LIFE CAN CHANGE IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE by pamela werts i photos by sandy arena

Life can change, drastically, in a blink of an eye. This was a lesson I learned in February of this year. After a brief bout of the stomach flu, I started having very bad abdominal pain. I did as we often do and looked it up on the internet and found this was common after the flu. I figured it would pass and all would be well. I was wrong. The pain got worse. It got to the point that I would have to stop talking and beads of sweat would form on my forehead. I kept thinking, “Oh, it will pass”. I got up every day and went to work in terrible pain. My coworker was pregnant and gave me one of those bead filled bags you can heat up in the microwave to help me with this pain. I used it all day and night. I, like most of us women, just figured it would pass and since it was common after the flu, I saw no need to seek medical attention. After a week of this pain, I finally went to Urgent Care. The woman wanted an X-ray of my abdomen and afterward told me I was merely constipated. Thank God! Now I had a reason for this pain and was relieved that it would soon pass and I would be fine. She told me to get some magnesium citrate and drink it and I should be fine. She was wrong. I drank it, faithfully, hoping to get some relief. This was on a Thursday afternoon. By Saturday, I was lying in bed trembling from the pain. I could not understand why it seemed to be getting worse. I cried and begged God to make the pain stop. Still drinking the magnesium citrate hoping it would finally work! By Sunday, I was taking pain meds my husband had 104

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for a recent rotator cup surgery. It knocked me out and at least I wasn’t in that pain when I was sleeping from the drugs. I knew something was very wrong. I kept “hearing” my grandmother in my head telling me I had to go to the Doctor’s by “8 AM Monday”. I know it sounds insane and I am not sure it if was the drugs or not but she was VERY insistent. To the point I almost wanted to yell, “I get it! Shut up already!” I followed her advice and went back to Urgent

Care at 8 AM on Monday. There was a different woman there and she said I needed to have a CAT scan. She set it up and off I went assuming they would be able to see the problem and fix it. My life changed radically that day. After having the scan, I was in the sitting waiting for the results. It was like every door they had flew open and they whisked me into a room with a phone where I was told I was going to the hospital IMMEDIATELY. They had called ahead and I was to go NOW. And if I didn’t agree to go NOW, they would call an ambulance. I was scared out of my mind. My husband drove me to Rochester General and when we walked in and gave my name they knew exactly who I was and I was instantly put in a room and in a gown. I was in horrific pain but had NO idea what the heck was wrong. I remember the nurse practitioner’s face as she looked at the scan and then at me. I said to her, “I don’t like your face! What is wrong?” I would go in and out of consciences. When I would look up, I would see my husband crying. I have been with this man almost 25 years. I had seen him cry before but not like this. I remember thinking, “What the heck is his problem?!!” Then they told me what had happened. And I was floored. My colon had perforated and I was in severe sepsis shock. Sepsis??!! What the heck is sepsis?!!! Well let me tell you and I apologize if it gets kind of gross here, but because my colon perforated, my abdomen was full of


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feature } } { {inspecial her own words “I would go in and out of consciences. When I would look up, I would see my husband crying. I have been with this man almost 25 years. I had seen him cry before but not like this. I remember thinking, “What the heck is his problem?!!”

fecal matter and puss and they were not sure I was going to make it, though they didn’t tell me that just then. I met the surgeon Dr. Christopher Richardson and off I went to have to major surgery to try and save my life. I was cut from stem to stern. I woke up in surgical ICU. But at least, I woke up. I had bandages, a drain, IV’s, stickers all over my chest attached to wires that were attached to a black box to monitor my heart Apparently IF one survives the operation, there is the possibility that you can have a heart attack or your kidneys shut down. I was hooked up to a machine that took my blood pressure every HOUR. EVERY HOUR???!!!! Good Lord! There was NO sleeping. After a week, I was moved to a regular room for another week in the hospital. I had a nurse named Funke. She was TOUGH but amazing and made sure I walked EVERY day to ensure I did not get blood clots. My husband came and saw me three times a day.

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I was humbled by the flowers and balloons I received from friends, but I was different. I was so grateful. I was so grateful that I had another chance. I was grateful that my grandmother was insistent though annoying. I was told had I waited a few more hours, I would not be here typing this article. That thought still affects me and how I view life today. It’s been a long battle back. I wasn’t sure if I could handle it all. I was so VERY lucky to have the OUSTANDING and coordinated care I did. Aside from my surgeon, I was visited by wound care team, infectious disease team and the two amazing women that were in the ER with me, Xena and Lauren. After I left the hospital, I was cared for by Lifetime Care for over three months. My visiting nurse, Dawn, was not only a godsend but became my friend and got me laughing again. The same can be said for Sue Szczepanski, Dr.

Richardson’s nurse practitioner. She was there for me as I cried about what had happened and was a foundation of strength guiding me through this long and scary battle. I could not have fought back without the support of my medical team. I will be in debt to them all for a very long time. I was nervous about writing this article when Kelly suggested it. But Rochester Woman Magazine has always been a champion for women so I decided to write it. I want each person reading this to listen to her body. We tend to put off our own care so many times. Don’t! Get yourself to a competent medical professional and address what is happening. I was very lucky to have another shot at life. There are many, many others who do not get that opportunity. Put yourself first sometimes. The alternative is not a path you want to venture down.


{ young up and coming }

To Be A Teenager... by Maja Millicevic-Klugh

To be a teenager is to live in a parallel universe to the world of grownups and little kids. Teenagers have their own vocabulary, their own jokes and their own heroes. They scorn our rules, but police their own society with exacting systems of etiquette in which the simple matter of making conversation with a member of the opposite sex is as bound by convention on the top deck of a bus as it ever was when Jane Austen was observing a country dance. At the nub of teenage rebellion is their compulsion to flaunt their difference. Fashion is the key word for today’s teenagers. Fashion reflects even in school students. The bags they carry, the watches they wear and the way they carry themselves involve so much of fashion. Teenagers seem to be more fashionable than adults now. In fact, they can be great trendsetters themselves. There are many teens that invent their own styles and aim at becoming an icon among their peers. Tyler is one of the cool kids on the block with her own twist of fashion, style and an icon to many of her friends. Ty l e r w a s b o r n i n Rochester, NY, and grew up in town of Penfield. Currently, she 110

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is attending Webster High School. Tyler is working hard at balancing work-lifeschool activities. Due to a very busy modeling career, she has missed many days of school. She has learned how to be extremely organized and manage her time efficiently.

Tyler describes herself as upbeat, fun loving, trustworthy, honest, hardworking and brave. Some things never change. Teenagers are incredibly particular about how they look, often obsessing over details that don’t seem important to adults. That is not the case for Tyler. One of her favorite things that she loves to do is to spend time with her two cats, Graham and Nugget, and with her friends. Tyler worked with an acting and voice coach at RAPA (Rochester Association of Performing Arts). She took yearlong Training in Voice, Acting and Dance (Jazz, Ballet, Hip Hop and Theater). She landed the lead in many movies shot in Rochester and the NYC area. The move from acting to modeling happened when Tyler was asked to be a model for local designer. She led the runways and appeared in catalogs from Rochester, NYC, and Orlando. She has appeared in catalogs Toronto also. Teenagers are mostly attracted to western fashion culture and


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{ young up and coming hot beauty trend alert }}

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{ young up and coming } Fashion is the key word for today’s teenagers. Fashion reflects even in school students. The bags they carry, the watches they wear and the way they carry themselves involve so much of fashion.

hey are triggered by the exotic western dress. Students want to create a unique image and for them fashion is a way to express their inner self. By having the latest clothing, they feel they look cool. Many of them think fashion helps them create an aural psychic influence and it pervades and highlights their presence in their surroundings. Teens are mostly influenced by the latest trends, colorful designs and outfits. There wardrobe is full of different brands which like Giorgio Armani, Dior, Levis, Gucci, Louis Viton!!! Teenagers are mostly inspired and influenced by celebrities, models and fashion media. College boys and girls are also trying to lionize themselves. Their fashion icons are their all-time favorites artists, which helps teach them how to innovate, develop and create new, stylish things and from them they also learnt that how to look the worlds from the new perspective. Tyler enjoys watching TV and movies which is also a form of studying her craft.

Her favorites:

Movie: Wizard of Oz TV Shows: Famous in Love, Secret life of the American Teenager, Pretty Little Liars

Justin Beiber, Sam Hunt, Alisha Keyes Thing to do: Hanging with her friends and keeping up with social media Foods: Macaroni and cheese and Wendy’s spicy chicken sandwich is a must while she is traveling with her family Hobby: Shop, shop, shop!! Hollister, Forever 21, Abercrombie & Finch Dislike: When she runs out of hot sauce and that Pretty Little Liars is over.

A simple fashion trend can change a teenager’s attitude in many ways. A positive effect of fashion is when teens feel more socially acceptable and confident in their approach due to the way they look. Even though clothes are powerless on their own, they represent symbols that have strong influence. On the other hand, there are negatives to fashion, such as when teenagers go to extreme lengths to attract attention with their clothes. Due to society and peer pressure, teen girls can be inclined to wear revealing clothing and act inappropriately for their age. Also, in their quest to keep up with the current fashion, some teenagers become victims of depression. Instead of being creative and original, then can end up copying others in a desire to fit in. Tyler takes the focus of all the attention she garners and uses it in the best possible way by addressing the ongoing bulling issue in schools. Being popular is everyone’s desire but also can be a burden without proper support and guidance. Thanks to very strong family values and guided by her successful mother, who is Tyler’s manager as well, her star is just rising.

Music: Hamilton music, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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HOME BUYING & SELLING IN THE ROCHESTER MARKET

The Perfect Time TO BUY A HOME

Find out why buying now, rather than waiting or refinancing your current home, will benefit your bottom line! ULTRA-LOW INTEREST RATES – NOW, BUT NOT FOREVER With affordable home prices and a healthy economy, the Rochester area is a great place to purchase a home. Paired with historically low interest rates, now is an excellent time to make this investment. But with recovery of the national and local economies taking effect, these ultralow rates and home prices are only going to rise! Experts predict the Federal Reserve to start inching up the rates sometime in 2015, and housing costs will climb as well. Therefore, getting in now before the market heats up can potentially save you thousands on your mortgage!

DON’T WAIT TO SELL & BUY BIGGER

SUSAN ASER

Licensed Associate Real Estate Broker

C: 585.738.7087 O: 585.279.8288 SusanTalksHome@gmail.com www.SusanTalksHome.com

Plus

2171 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618

You may think you can save some money by waiting – staying put or refinancing your current home. Your current property will appreciate in value over the next few years. However, purchasing now with an ultra-low rate on a more valuable home will see much higher appreciation. Buying now means that any appreciated value will go into your own net worth, while waiting will simply translate into a higher purchase price down the road!

BUYING VS. RENTING If you don’t already own a home, now is the time to make that investment! A report by Trulia (October 2014) shows that the average cost of homeownership (mortgage, insurance, taxes, maintenance, etc.) is considerably less expensive than the cost of renting. In the Rochester area, buying is 45% less expensive than renting!* Stop paying your landlord’s mortgage, and invest in a home of your own!

*Data according to http://www.trulia.com/trends/vis/rentvsbuy-q3-2014/

STEVE D’AMICO Loan Officer, NMLS# 37093

C: 585.746.3471 O: 585.241.0000 x119 D: 585.363.7067 Steve@PremiumMortgage.com

As always, if you need our expertise, we are here to help! 71 Main St. Sts. 2-3 Hamburg, NY 14075 716.633.0501 NMLS# 1198760/1213669

2150 Wehrle Dr. Ste. 200 Amherst, NY 14221 716.633.0501 NMLS# 92181

Corporate NMLS#3254 | Equal Housing Lender

2541 Monroe Ave. Rochester, NY 14618 585.241.0000 NMLS# 3254

128 Main St. Geneseo, NY 14454 585.447.9197 NMLS# 157688

www.PremiumMortgage.com

4205 Longbranch Rd. #6 Liverpool, NY 13090 315.457.0926 NMLS# 1270748

105 North Main St, Ste. 102 Barre, VT 05641 802.476.7000 NMLS# 854380

Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS


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Facebook LIVE Video: Do You Use It? BY TAMARA MACDUFF

Facebook Live video has come alive for everyone. While Facebook has given this ability to create videos to everyone, not everyone should be using it. It’s like anything else – just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. So, do you use it for yourself or your business? I am doing a Facebook LIVE challenge. I’m supposed to go LIVE every day during August. I posted about it and got a crap ton of comments – some not in favor of me doing this. I get that. I didn’t realize people felt so strongly about these live videos. Let’s cover some of these objections and help you do live video better for your business. Live video is giving the business pages some much needed boosting power; of that there is no doubt. Because it is so powerful, you should make sure you have something to say. As I said, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. T h e Fa c e b o o k L i v e Challenges: Are they worth it? A better question is this: Is it right for me? Ask yourself – what do I want to get out of this challenge? Am I struggling with creating video? Most importantly, do I have anything to say? A commenter wrote: “Challenges are just attention grabbers for the creator so they can put a feather in their cap.” I do believe this. Therefore, you should go to the authority on doing these challenges: YOU. Why do you want to do this challenge? Need a safe place to practice with your new toy? Awesome – a challenge may be the perfect place 116

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for you. Your best friend is doing it? OK. Like I asked my cousin when he said he was vegetarian because his new girlfriend was: Why are YOU doing it? Define that and you have your goal for this challenge. I f you don’t start with your WHY you won’t have a purpose for doing it and all you are doing is contributing to the noise on Facebook. If you were born to stand out – why would you blend in?

Creating Content for Content’s Sake

Content is what feeds the digital beast. You must have fresh content on a consistent basis. We all know this.

Should you create content just because it’s what you should do? I think the better answer to that is to create content when you have something to say. Once again, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Remember this: your content has no value if nobody shares it. If it doesn’t move someone, it doesn’t move. Remember your audience and listen to what they are telling you. Do they want to see more content or video from you? Can you do a Facebook Live video series and answer your most often asked questions? Give a tip of the day? Some sort of value is what needs to be given.

Do You Have the Talent to Do a Live Video?

This is not meant to be mean. It really isn’t. I’m not sure I have the talent to do live video either. Hence the reason I do not have a Podcast or Live TV streaming. If the answer to this is a truthful “No” then please, do not do Facebook live videos every single day. They are not as funny as you think they are, and nobody is listening to you. The reach numbers lie to you. You are trying to activate your audience, not bore them to death with yet another shameless plug for whatever you are trying to sell. You need to create value for them so they


will share your video, comment and engage with you then engage you for your services. However, even if you don’t feel you have the talent to do a live video or video at all, if video is stopping you from moving your business forward or it is stopping you from connecting to your audience, you absolutely should participate in the challenge. Most challenges have a private group where you can learn this newfangled video thing in the private company of your friends and others who are trying to get out of their own way too. Do that. Once you have a few under your belt, you can share them on other pages, in your personal newsfeed, etc. I have found when I’m trying to get out of my own way, again, that if I can move beyond one fear; I can move beyond others.

How Did I Do with the Challenge?

Well, not so good. Though there is still time to get it done! My reason for doing the challenge was to do what I just described above: learn a new tool and to get out of my own way. I can’t very well counsel my clients on creating video if I have never done it. I also did plan to do a few live videos so I could bring value to a niche I am working on becoming known in. My plan had all the markings of a real winwin. I got to learn something new, gain some confidence and even gain some new followers. My audience got some actionable advice and tips on how to market in this niche. Then the Adirondacks called my name and I went and unplugged for a week. Now I’ll get back into it – not worried about the reach or the number of live videos I am doing or didn’t do. I don’t worry about it because that wasn’t the goal for me in this challenge.

twitter or catch me on Facebook or LinkedIn. I’d love to hear your stories. If I can help you with your social media strategy for your business, let me know! I’m always happy to have a conversation and move great content in the social sphere. Tamara MacDuff, business owner at NOW Digital Marketing. She drives sales for business owners through social media & content strategies. When she isn’t being strategic with her social media, she teaches workshops on social media, social media strategy and content creation & strategy. For more information reach out on Twitter (@tamaramacduff1), Facebook (fb.com/ hellotamaramacduff) or LinkedIn (linkedin. com/in/tamaramacduff) She loves great coffee, conversation & rock and roll.

Do you or don’t you like to participate in these challenges? How do you find ways to create meaningful content and provide value to your audience? Let me know – tag me on ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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Michelle DiBernardo

Michelle DiBernardo is a successful entrepreneur from the Syracuse, NY area. Born in Frankfurt, Germany in the early 80’s. She was raised by her mother, Charlene Gavin and father, John DiBernardo the 3rd. Michelle has grown into an inspiration for girls and boys of all ages.

DiBernardo has 2 teenagers, Sam and Kailee which pretty much consume her life. Since a child, Michelle wanted to be on the big screen. The sparkle that came from her eyes when performing for her family singing Paula Abdul was very noticeable. Her eyes always seemed to be glued to the screen as she watched her role model was the great Susan Lucci on All My Children ritually with her Mother. Which she did meet 3 times to date. Once while being an extra on All My Children. As we know things were a lot harder in that time as technology had not evolved as much as current day. Unfortunately, she did not have a strong support system so she did not become a child star. As a child, Michelle did a few minor things; modeled at local department stores, performed in school plays, etc. In 2002, her first born was interested in being in front of the camera. So she had got back involved in the business by being the “Stage Mom” until Sam was no longer interested in pursuing acting & modeling. She was never the pushy stereotypical “Stage Mom” as she just wanted her child to do what he wanted to do. A few years later her youngest had decided she had wanted to try the business and she too had lost interest. Not a big deal because that gave her the go for herself.

In 2010, DiBernardo joined a large modeling and acting school that was established in 1939. Since then she has been promoted to the rank of Director of Educator. What we do there makes me feel incredible. At the school they train these young minds how to be successful in whatever it is they want to do in life. They are training in life skills that will impact them for the better. With success stories from her directing in Kalamazoo, Omaha, Jackson, Fort Wayne, Rochester, Buffalo, and Syracuse, it’s no surprise she is at the top of her field. Not only does she help mentor her staff and

students to become powerful and strong adults like herself. Michelle holds her NYS teaching license and NYS Director of Education license for Acting & Modeling. Once Michelle started with this school she started taking her career a bit more seriously. They had given her so many tools to use, confidence and so much knowledge that she decided to become the best she could be. No she is not a high fashion model but that does not stop her. That is where lack of knowledge is failed in society. They did not develop a commercial division for no reason. Michelle has dealt with rejection and tries to use that as her ignition to her fire to keep her going. All you can do is try, you win some and you lose some. DiBernardo is a firm believer on if you are a training others in the entertainment industry that you should be doing it as well and that she is. She has played background in countless television shows such as: Blacklist, Blue Bloods, Hostages, I Just Want My Pants Back, The Leftovers, Smash, Unforgettable, etc. DiBernardo has also appeared on local print ads, billboards and commercials for Americu Credit Union which was a huge accomplishment. She did not know she was going to be on the billboard and nearly crashed when she drove by Destiny Usa and saw the first one. In addition to that, she has experience in voiceovers, commercials, runway, short films, feature films, music videos, theatre, promotional modeling and print. Some of her most recent accomplishments are Co-Producing alongside of her business partner Tamara Reese, Directing, Director Of Photographer and Post Production for CJack Run Networks: Visionary Minds- Inspirational Woman Of Syracuse, Inspirational Men Of Color In Syracuse & Survivors, Nurse Joanee in “12 Days Of ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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God”, Mina in “De Ja Vu” for Mad Angel Films, a Publicist and Behind The Scenes Photographer for “Priest-The Lost Son’s ” trailer, Sharon in Syracuse University’s short film “Dessert”, Makeup Artist for “Still Life With Family”, the Duchess in Sage Cat Media’s “A.K.A. Alice”, Background in the Feature Film “Wolves”, Detective in “Da Citi” Feature Film, a Corporate Video for Otto Media, Supporting in Peppino’s commercial, Principal in Mooradian’s Furniture Commercial, and Background in 120

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Fountainscape Commercial and Principal in “I Love NY app” Commercial. Michelle had trained with Robert Russell in 1 on 1 sessions for a year. Currently she is on her 5th Screenwriting class with Jeremy Garelick. DiBernardo has taken an online Theatre and Globalization class. Some other recent training she has recently taken are with Dennis “LA” White, Tom Logan and Ryan Glorioso. She enjoys being an inspiration to many

and ultimate goal is to direct and act full time. DiBernardo is hoping to attend Jeremy Garelick’s school, the Liverpool School Of Cinema upon opening. Michelle can be found on FB- Michelle DiBernardo, Instagram- DiBernardoMichelle & Snapchat- NYActressMD. Bookings @ MichelleDiBernardo@Gmail. com (Serious Inquiries Only)!


COUTURE BEAUTY PROFESSIONAL

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585.755.4022 LINDSAY.DEROUEN@GMAIL.COM


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BY REBECCA JAFFARIAN I PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK

Justyna Consaul

Living With Passion And Purpose

Leaders like Justyna Consaul, Mrs. Western New York. The qualities that make great leaders are as much about who they are as it is about what they do. Leadership is a lifestyle. Leadership is a choice. Justyna was born and raised in Rochester, NY within a tight knit Polish community, 1st generation in America. In the summer of 2013 on the set of “Spiderman” while it was being filmed in Rochester, Juystyna and her husband met Diane Hardgrove, Director of the Mrs. New York America Pageant. A friendship developed during this time on the movie set and Diane encouraged her to compete in the pageant. Justyna was inspired by Diane’s confident spirit, her inner and outer beauty, and genuine heart. As a contestant, Justyna relished the realization she would be around women of Diane’s stature which would challenge and encourage her to be a better woman.

The Mrs. American pageant is one of America’s oldest and most prestigious beauty pageants that honors married women and sees the relevance of the beauty pageant their accomplishments. She as an opportunity for women who can come to promote one another on their It was founded in 1977 together own individual beauty, and uniqueness while and continues to empower encouraging each other in their passions. married women to Living with PASSION and become leaders through PURPOSE Know what drives you, what moves you community service.

Justyna’s passion is her family, her husband of 20 years, their four children and her work with Integrative Practitioners in making nutritional intervention a first line of therapy in the prevention and management of disease, along with the promotion of optimal health. “How we can impact how our genes express themselves, thereby influencing our health and the quality of life we lead”. She counts her mom as the most influential person in her life. “She is the strongest women I know, who loves her family unconditionally with a giving heart and extremely accountable. She has been the prime example for me how to be the Mom, Wife and Giver.”

Authenticity

For Mrs. Western New York, we asked her definition for the essence of a woman. “Just being a woman is God’s gift that all of us must appreciate. She shows a man what sharing, caring and unconditional love is all about. Each woman is intricately wrapped by layers and layers of qualities which make up her very fundamental nature and her essence.” Who would you most like to meet and why? Ivanka Trump, it would be an honor to be able to meet her. We are both Mom’s with careers, with a passion for our familes, and children in Making American Great Again! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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What Constitutes True Beauty? “There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is true beauty. It’s embracing your true self which radiates a natural beauty that cannot be diluted or ignored.” Most successful women this writer meets are kind, honest and transparent. That’s what makes them a leader and other people wanting to follow them, Justyna Consaul is one of these leaders.

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the Rochester Woman Online 2017 Special Wedding Insert


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Providing Adorable, One Of A Kind Looks For Rochester Brides and Their Bridesmaids

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Formalwear:

- Hundreds of jewelry pieces that are handselected by the owners at various showrooms across the country. Most jewelry is created with genuine Australian crystal as well as Authentic Swarovski crystals. We also carry and exclusive jewelry line in which we work directly with the designer to create custom pieces for pageant competitors and other special-event attendees. - We carry over 3,000 gowns in store for customers to see, touch, feel, and try. We cover ANY event that might require a dress. Guest-of-the-wedding, Bat-Mitzvah, Sweet-Sixteen, Quinceanera, bridesmaids, mother of the bride/groom, cocktail, black-tie/gala, junior pageant, pageantry, custom evening gowns, prom, flower-girls, rehearsal dinner, shower dresses, etc. - We are so excited to be carrying the highend sportswear line, Joseph Ribkoff. The carry amazing pieces in luxurious fabrics. Based out of Canada, they offer anything from denim to party-pants, blouses to cocktail dresses, skirts to jumpsuits. A must-try!! Everyone should have a little Ribkoff in their wardrobe! - We are the only shop in New York to carry Sherri Hill Couture, a custom couture line in which we work directly with the client and the designer to create a custom, one-of-a-kind look that is unlike

anything that you have ever worn. We love making our customer’s vision come to life, and creating the look they have always dreamt of.

Bridal:

- On top of providing adorable, one-ofa-kind looks for a bride’s engagement party, shower, and rehearsal dinner…we are now offering a gorgeous selection of bridal gowns. - We are exclusive to all of our bridal designers, which we hand-picked to carry in the shoppe. - We work one-on-one with all of our brides, and take private appointments only. Brides and their guests have the entire shop to themselves, so they can browse our selection at their leisure, and try on their gowns privately with their party, without the pressure of other parties being present. It is a very intimate, exclusive experience. - The majority of our bridal gowns range from $700-$2,000. - Appointments can be requested through our website at joevalsbridal.com


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V TIPS FOR DRESSING YOUR GROOM & HIS MEN

On your wedding day, all eyes will be on the bride and groom. Making decisions about what the groom and groomsmen will wear are easier when you have some advice from people who have been there before. The web is great for basic research, but finding a local shop that can help guide you through a dizzying array of options will help you avoid spinning your wheels while figuring out this piece of the wedding puzzle.

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At the most basic level, your attire should be appropriate for your venue and match with the overall vibe of the wedding. If your wedding is in the daytime or outdoors, you can wear something a bit more casual, e.g. lighter-colored suits khaki or light grey. If it’s an evening affair in a ballroom or higher end hotel, go with either a dark, well-tailored suit or a tuxedo. Your wedding is your first opportunity to show off your style as a couple, so make it a joint effort. While it’s traditional that the groom doesn’t know exactly what the bride is wearing, you’ll want to be sure your styles work together. So, if the bride’s dress is a bedazzled ball gown, you won’t want the groom to wear a lightweight linen suit—a classic black tux is more like it. Other combos that work: a rustic lace gown paired with a tailored tan suit, or a streamlined city-chic gown with a slim-cut gray suit. Magazines, Pinterest and menswear websites can all provide useful ways to zero in on how you want things to look. Just remember, those pictures were all shot with professional models, perfect lighting and an hour’s worth of hair styling before the shoot. You want to see how your groom will look, so find a shop that allows your groom to actually try on what he’ll be wearing.

The key to looking sharp is dressing for your body type. If your groom is tall and slim, most slim or trim tuxedos and suits will look good on his frame. If he has an athletic build with broad shoulders, look for a model that fits the shoulders and is appropriately tailored at the waist to avoid too much excess material in the lower part of the coat. Conventional wisdom is that darker hues are slimming. And to elongate the body (and add some height), try a one button jacket with a low ¬button stance. Bigger guys should avoid slim fit styles that give the impression of wearing a suit that’s too small. Classic fit styles with proper tailoring will give them the room they need to look and feel great for their wedding day. Regardless of whether you’re renting or buying, most shops will custom tailor your purchase. Here are a few basic tailoring rules: • The jacket sleeve hem should fall at the wrist with about one-fourth to one half inch of the shirt cuff showing below. • The bottom hem of the jacket should cover the butt and the vent shouldn’t pull open. If it does, that means it’s too tight. • The collar should lay flat on the back and sides of the neck without any gaps or bulges. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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• Pants should fit comfortably when standing and sitting and break across the top of the shoes so they cover the top one-third. • A bow tie should fit snugly around the collar. Traditionally, the groomsmen wear attire that’s the same as or similar to that of the groom, but the good news is, it’s your wedding so you get to decide how everything works. Often times, the guys accessories (ties and pocket squares) will match or coordinate with the color of the bridesmaid dresses. If you want some different options for the groom, try changing up the tie type (long tie vs. bow) or use a different color such as white or ivory for his accessories. Even if you aren’t planning for all the men in your wedding party to wear the exact same suit or tux, it’s important that their outfits match in style and feel with yours. Matching doesn’t just end with the guys either—your whole wedding party should have a cohesive style. To achieve this, aim to pair your groomsmen style to that of the bridesmaids—for instance, if the bridesmaids are rocking a vintage vibe, the guys can don retro three-piece suits. Other ways you can personalize things would be to include specialty cufflinks – these could be sports teams or an elegant engraved cuff link with your groom and groomsmen’s initials on them. Whether you end up with elegant, semicasual or somewhere in between, be sure to focus on the reason for the day – your wedding is a celebration of your love that you share with friends and family. The rest of it is just details! Matthew McDermott, President and Owner Vittorio Menswear & Tuxedo Rochester, NY Matt started in the clothing business working part time in high school and college in a men’s shop in upstate New York. Matt and his wife Jennifer purchased Vittorio Menswear & Tuxedo from the founder at his retirement and have been helping guys look their best for special occasions ever since.


Help Your Favorite Guy Look His Best for Work, the Weekend, or Any Special Event

Use Coupon Code RWM06 in-store by July 4th Receive a FREE Pair of Men’s Fashion Dress Shoes with any Suit or Sport Coat & Pant Purchase

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1900 East Ridge Road (Near 104/Culver) • 467-7711 • vittorioformalwear.com


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By Julie M. May i photos by sandy arena

Soirée Wants You To Have A Party!

Sh e r r y D a m p i e r has always had an entrepreneurial spirit. “My brother also runs his own business, so perhaps it’s in our blood,” she says.

It’s definitely in hers. As well as joy. Sherry says she’s inspired every day by “people I randomly meet. Happy people... genuine people. I love that.” Her newest business venture is Soirée on the corner of Park Avenue and Alexander Street, is a new event rental space that can be used for all kinds of things. Unlike the local parks, other venues or restaurants, Soirée offers fine china settings and crystal to rent, making any occasion into an extravagant affair to remember. Sherry’s blend of unique, vintage and modern china transforms a wedding, christening, shower, and anniversary or dinner party into a truly memorable, one-of-a-kind event. “You can bring whatever food or beverages you like into our space or we can have your event catered,” Sherry said. She admits her love for fine china (and some of her inventory), come from her family. “My mother and Grandmother loved to entertain and catered lots of events, I grew up loving all the beautiful things that made a table come to life. I have vintage china that has been passed down from several generations on both sides of my family that mean a lot to me, but should be enjoyed more. I have over 500 pieces and have done everything from intimate rehearsal dinners to extravagant weddings with beautiful mismatched pieces. We can accommodate small gatherings up to the largest celebrations.”

She says one of the events that stands out to her was an elaborate Quinceañera. “I love the beauty of ethnic parties, so rich in tradition,” she says. “People of Indian decent also come in because they throw beautiful first birthday parties for their children. I get to learn about different cultures and participate in beautiful celebrations of life.” Her new event rental space, Soirée, can be used by local crafters and artists to market and sell their products via a popup shop. The space can also be used by local businesses as a meeting space or for a team-building luncheon followed by a pedal-tour down Park Avenue. “The possibilities are endless, and once I get the kitchen up and running I may even do a lunch or breakfast service during the week. I love a good breakfast burrito or a salad and sandwich combo for lunch,” Sherry says. This is not her first dive into entrepreneurship. Sherry also owns One Night Stand, a business located in Village Gate that she started in 2014. It is open by appointment only. “I rent beautiful dessert and cake stands, so a bride or customer doesn’t have to buy them, they can rent them,” she said. She says many of the local bakeries all know her, and refer people to her business to provide a huge variety of cake stands, candy and dessert station displays. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ SHIFT+CONTROL } “I had to get out of corporate life after all of the loss and battling my own cancer and I’ve never looked back. I now need an outlet for creativity, not a cubicle.”

“We have everything from vintage to classic to modern. Any bride can come in planning any type of wedding and I can show her a cake stand that will make her excited about her cake and dessert bar. And if I don’t carry it, I will custom make it.” She has done wild and crazy custom stands. She actually created a chandelier dessert stand and hung an upside down wedding cake from the chandelier. She also repurposes vintage items into cake stands, anything from shoe shine stands to hanging lighting fixtures. Her macramé rustic stand “hangs from the rafters of a barn and is enrobed in sunflowers, denim, and a huge Mackenzie Childs tray for the cake!” She often works nights and weekends to consult with clients on their schedule. Sherry says she has always worked with the public. “I even work part time at Michaels Craft Store so I can interact with likeminded crafters. I love sharing ideas and creating new relationships,” she said. As far as life outside of her two businesses, Sherry is a liver donor and cancer survivor who says, “I treat every day like it’s my last.” After losing both parents and her best friend to cancer, she continues to choose a path that leads to a happy and healthy life. “I had to get out of corporate life after all of the loss and 148

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battling my own cancer and I’ve never looked back. I now need an outlet for creativity, not a cubicle.” Sherry lives with her fiancé Steven Miller. They have been together for 10 years. They have a blue nose pit bull named Rigsby. She says the dog gives them joy. He goes

to Dogs at Play daycare on Monroe Ave., and he loves it. Sherry has no kids, but Steve has kids and they are blessed with 3 grandchildren and one on the way. “ The grandchildren steal my heart,” Sherry says smiling. “I wish I had more time with them.” Sherry does add, “in five years, it is likely my entire business plan will change. Since I have met so many talented people along the way, I envision partnering up to do some really creative and beautiful events. She already partners with Odelia Gilmore at Soirée and the One Night Stand. “Odelia came to The One Night Stand to rent décor and stands for her wedding,” Sherry says. The two became good friends and then Odelia decided to go into the Linen business after planning her own event. “She has been an amazing and very loyal friend, is always positive and her bubbly personality is absolutely infectious. Odelia demands perfection and it shows in her product. If you have ever seen a wrinkled linen, you can rest assured, it wasn’t from Linen’s by Odelia!” Her advice to would-be entrepreneurs is “Hold on to your hat, it’s a wild ride!”


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“We have everything from vintage to classic to modern. Any bride can come in planning any type of wedding and I can show her a cake stand that will make her excited about her cake and dessert bar. And if I don’t carry it, I will custom make it.”

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“The World is but a canvas to the imagination.” Henry David Thor

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Capturing that “FIRST LOOK” BY jennifer tellier i photo by tellier studios

When we book the photography for a wedding, we often help the couple though many different aspects of the wedding planning. One of the most common discussions that we have with them is about the idea of a “first look”. Traditionally, the partners are not to see each other until one of them walks down the aisle. Many couples, however, are choosing to ditch those traditional ways and start a new trend, one they are calling the “first look”. On the wedding day, before the ceremony, we set up one of the partners to have them wait in anticipation for the love of their life to walk up from behind them. Sometimes, only the couple is involved, while others choose to include their bridal party as well. The other partner walks up from behind and with a tap on the shoulder, shout of their name, or slap on the butt, they get their attention and turn around and have their moment. This is the “first look”. Sometimes they gasp, cover their mouth, cry, laugh, or just stare in awe. We photograph the entire encounter between the two of them. That moment is theirs and it is beautiful. However, for some people, the thought of walking down the aisle and having your partner see you for the first time in that moment,

surrounded by family and friends, is the driving force in sticking with traditional ways. Both options are beautiful, so how do you possibly choose? Some things to keep in mind are that if your partner is on the shy

side, they may not want to show as much emotion during the ceremony. Perhaps they would react more if it was just the two of you on your own. Also, with a first look, most of the portraits can be done ahead of the ceremony. This leaves time to enjoy the cocktail hour that would otherwise be taken up with wedding portraits. Also, if you are planning a fall or winter wedding, keep in mind that it gets dark much earlier. In that case, there may not be enough light after your ceremony for portraits, so it could be a good idea to get them done ahead of time. If you are not concerned with attending your cocktail hour, and there is plenty of time after the ceremony for portraits, then by all means stick to tradition. If you have an unwavering vision of seeing each other for the first time as you walk down the aisle, then tradition is also going to be your best choice. As with all wedding planning, every situation is unique and special. Your day will be perfectly beautiful either way! We can’t say enough how much we love what we do and we just want to celebrate being real through our photography!


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WEDDING CATERING

AT ITS FINEST...CHEF’S CATERING byCHERYL KATES-BENMAN I PHOTOS BY BRANDON VICK

We all know it is expected we grow up, get married and have children. A wedding is supposed to be the best day of your life. Often the planning of that big day turns into a nightmare. Cash or open bar? Sit down or buffet? Live entertainment or DJ? Cream puffs or cannoli’s? Decisions, decisions. One thing is for certain, if the food is bad this is what everyone will remember. Many venues have in-house food providers, but an alternate is available; Chef’s Catering. This is catering at it’s finest. The motto of the company is, “We don’t just deliver your food, we provide peace of mind”. This really says it all. Just exactly what every bride-to-be wants to hear. Located at 1700 East Avenue, they also offer two mobile kitchen solutions as well. So, don’t be surprised when you see Chef’s Catering riding around town in their food trucks. The truck was at recent events such as The NY Wine Festival(Canandaigua), Corn Hill Arts Festival, The Italian Festival and the Farm Bureau Agricultural Dinner (Durand Eastman Park). They were also at the City’s Party in the Park! The trucks serve up sliders, combos and plates and more delicious choices. Favorites are available such as pulled pork, fries and even something for the seafood lovers... lobster sliders are all on the menu! 158

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They are even competing at the NYS Fair in the Taste NY Food Truck Competition. In 2015, Chef’s was awarded Rochester Rocs “Rochester’s Best Food Truck” Award. So, as you can see, they are more the just a wedding caterer...they are full service. The business prides itself in offering custommade menus so the experience is sure to delight your palate. Founded in 2011, by

Chef Michael D, Zazzaro, Chef’s Catering took off fast! With over 15 years in the food service industry, Executive Chef Zazzaro prides himself in building long -lasting relationships with clients so that he is your go to for all of your entertainment needs. Zazzaro attended Johnson and Wales earning his degree in management in culinary arts (Providence, Rhode Island), Michael indicates his inspiration came from his family traditions and his Nana who showed him skills in the kitchen. Michael prides himself on focusing on four values in delivering culinary services: passion, integrity character and service. These are the fundamentals for a successful food service business. Chef’s Catering is founded under some very high standards. Knowing this while planning your wedding day should make any bride-to-be feel right at ease. Chef’s Catering knows if you look good they look good. Fundamental emphasis is placed on the customer and their satisfaction. Michael Zazzaro provides a wide selection of exceptional wedding cuisine including stationed and hand-passed hors d’oeuvres, party platters and desserts, buffet selections and elegant styled cakes. Sweet tables can also be a part of the package custom designed for your special day.


{ i do... } “We don’t just provide your food, we provide you with peace of mind.”

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Mention this ad and receive your 3-in1 Super Facial for only $59, for your introductory skin treatment.

Call us today for your complimentary consultation

11 State Street in the Village Of Pittsford(Inside the ESL Credit Union Building upstairs) Suite 205 Pittsford, NY 14534 i 585-737-7466.


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Exfoliation, Infusion, and Oxygenation BY CATHY MARTELLI SMITH

It’s Official: One of the hottest trends right now, is a women wearing smart, chic clothes and rocking a bare face. Belle La Vie’ Laser Skin Care Spa, can help with that beautiful, smoother, younger, looking skin. We are proud to announce we have added to our Spa menu, and are so excited to now offer the 3-in-1 Super Facial OxyGeneo that combines Exfoliation, Infusion, and Oxygenation. Patented OxyGeneo technology provides unparalleled skin nourishment & oxygenation, revealing younger looking skin after just one treatment. Come in to our new location and experience the new geneO+smarttouch platform, the 3-in-1 Super Facial. Similar to the natural hot springs effect, the geneO+Super Facial is the world’s first system that significantly accelerates the absorption and optimal utilization of nutrients by the skin combining exfoliation, nutrient infusion, and oxygenation from within.

OxGeneo deeply cleans the skin while creating a chemical reaction between the patented Capsugen capsule and OxyGeneo nutrient-rich gels, plus any of your optional skin care serums. This

chemical reaction produces countless CO2-rich bubbles which gently burst on the skin’s surface, while essential nutrients and antioxidants are infused deeply into the skin. Through ultrasound, skin permeability is increased for maximum infusion of essential nutrients. OxyGeneo is safe on all skin tones and can treat sensitive skin without irritation. You will see younger looking skin, less lines, plumper areas of concern, and radiant glowing skin. Let Belle La Vie’ Laser Skin Care Spa introduce you to laser hair removal and the 3-in-1 Super Facial OxyGeneo treatments. You will have that smooth, silky, healthy glowing beautiful skin. Don’t settle for less than the best! Call us today for your complimentary consultation @ 585737-7466. As always, we are also offering the best laser hair removal packages, 50% off your laser hair removal package.

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Mario’s Hair Studio

MAKE YOUR DAY SPECIAL

CALL FOR YOUR FREE CONSULTATION TODAY! 1474 Monroe Ave I Rochester, NY 14618 (585)473-8593 I www.marioshair.com

WITH AN ORIGINAL CUSTOM UP-DO DESIGNED JUST FOR YOU AND YOUR ENSEMBLE.


Gloria’s giant flower love

HANDMADE FLOWERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS I WEBSTER, NY 585.472.0528 I WOODGLORIA@ROCKETMAIL.COM


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You want to select an invitation that represents you!! As your guests open the envelope to reveal your invitation, you probably want them to say “Wow” and be as excited about your special day as you are. It is after all, the biggest personal event you will plan and experience!!!

Selecting the Perfect (for you) Wedding Invitation

First and foremost, it is important to select a wedding invitation package that reflects your style, taste, and level of ceremony and celebration. Your invitation is the first glimpse your guests will have of what your special day will hold!!

There are more to invitations than most realize. Details. Details. Details. Presenting the who, what and where is the task at hand and to make it beautiful and memorable as well. After all, an invitation lasts for a lifetime!

Things to consider:

• Design elements/style/graphics • Stock being used • Printing methods • Imprint Colors • Budget • Number of invitations needed (to mail; not the guest count). Design elements and styles are available from complete simplicity and tradition to avant-garde and graphics galore, styles are available in all price ranges.

Your stationer will guide you to the best to suit your style.

Stock to print on and printing methods The range of stocks available vary by the type of printing method chosen. If you want the top of the line, then a letterpress stock that is a 1 or 2 ply cotton or bamboo is for you. The mid range can offer letterpress as well, along with foil stamping, thermography and digital with many choices in paper, color and weights.

Imprint colors

Your colors can carry thru to your invitations, but they don’t have to! The invitation with traditional black on ecru can be exciting if combined with a layer stock of color or an envelope liner that enhances your design.

Budget

A budget is a starting point for you. The reality is there are very expensive invitations to very inexpensive. The old adage “you get what you pay for” is usually true, but a look can be replicated in a cost effective printing method on a nice stock and save you money. You have to realize that the smaller the quantity the higher the per piece cost is. If your quantity is higher, your per piece cost will decrease.

What your wedding invitation package needs:

• Invitation—Must have!!! • Outer envelope—Must have!! • Inner envelopes—Optional; some packages include them; others don’t • Response set—Must have!! • Reception card—needed if reception is at a different place than the ceremony • Accommodations—necessary if you have many out of town guests (it is a courtesy to provide for your guests) • Directions—not usually needed unless you are at a “hard to find” venue or have parking issues • Wedding Details—great for a weekend of events and website information (registry that is a no-no to not be mentioned on the invite can be found here!) Putting this all together is best achieved by dealing with a professional stationer—you are doing it once and probably for the first time (and hopefully last!). The professional has been doing it for years and has done many and knows the etiquette for you to follow and most importantly, how to get it done! Timing is of the essence. Invitations should not be left as the last thing you do!!! For a nice package, allowing 6-8 months usually suffices; for a more custom package, longer is needed. If you are in the last minute of your timing, there are fewer choices. Come see PaperRozzi Invitations. We can help you select the perfect wedding invitation – for you! ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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Hi everyone! My name is Anne Coe and I am the owner of Cupcaked Bakery and Event Planning. We just opened in the Spring of 2017 and are growing exponentially by the day. Our bakery specializes in gourmet cupcakes ranging from standard chocolate and vanilla to specialty flavors such as red velvet or lemon blueberry to even filled cupcakes like almond raspberry and cannoli! If you are more traditional and would prefer a cake to make your wedding unforgettable, have no fear! Our cake selection is just as vast as our cupcakes, up to three tiers of deliciousness. We also take pride in our ability to deliver and setup for any event and make our cupcakes fit in perfectly with the theme. The most popular service we offer for weddings is our day of coordination services. To ensure that this truly is the most special day, we will go above and beyond for you throughout the day. Do you need someone to organize the ceremony and guarantee things run smoothly? Or maybe you would just like every one of your family and friends to be at the ceremony and not running around the reception hall trying to set everything up. That is where we come in, lighting candles, setting up the buffet or desserts, decorating, coordinating the ceremony, anything at all to make your day the best day! We offer a tasting of three flavor combinations and a consultation before the wedding. Call us today to book your next event! 716.378.8850 or cupcaked@yahoo.com We look forward to catering the desserts for your next event or wedding!

Annie and Scott Coe


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CUPCAKED BAKERY & EVENT PLANNING

We Bring You Vision To Life!

Online Bakery able to help with your event and wedding planning needs with rotating events and Farmer’s Markets in WNY bringing you exciting flavors and custom decor!

“Hi everyone! My name is Anne Coe and I am the owner of Cupcaked Bakery and Event Planning.

setting up the buffett or desserts, decorating, coordinating the ceremony, anything at all to make your day the best day!

We just opened in the Spring of 2017 and are growing exponentially by the day. Our bakery specializes in gourmet cupcakes ranging from standard chocolate and vanilla to specialty flavors such as red velvet or lemon blueberry to even filled cupcakes like almond raspberry and cannoli! If you are more traditional and would prefer a cake to make your wedding unforgettable, have no fear!

We offer a tasting of three flavor combinations and a consultation before the wedding.

Our cake selection is just as vast as our cupcakes, up to three tiers of deliciousness. We also take pride in our ability to deliver and setup for any event and make our cupcakes fit in perfectly with the theme. The most popular service we have for weddings is day of coordination. In order to ensure that this truly is the most special day, we will go above and beyond for you throughout the day.

We are from the Southern Tier area and would love to cater to that area as much as possible. We do weekly delivery runs to the Salamanca, NY area as well as being involved in the Farmer’s Markets in Salamanca, Hamburg and Blasdell. ​ We will be attending numerous Bridal Shows, Events and Festivals this year. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to find out where we will be next. Call us today to book your next event! 716.378.8850”

Do you need someone to organize the ceremony and guarantee things run smoothly? Or maybe you would just like every one of your family and friends to be at the ceremony and not running around the reception hall trying to set everything up. That is where we come in, lighting candles, ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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COME R

HEALING MASSAGE RETREAT I BLDG C, 550 Latona Rd #305 I Rochester


RELAX WITH US Introductory Prices For New Clients

60 minute Swedish Massage $40 60 minute Deep Tissue Massage $60 60 Minute Hot Stone Massage $60 60 Minute Facial $45 60 Minute Reiki $40 Swedish Massage & Facial $99 Treatment Massage & Acupuncture $135 Manual Lymph Drainage, Body Contouring Treatments & Waxing Available

ochester, NY 14626 I (585) 227-6816 I healingmassageretreat.com


{ healthy WOMan }

Shiatsu? by cassondra kubit

Shiatsu is a complimentary therapy that occupies a unique place in the world of medicine. Its pedigree is possibly one of the most ancient on the planet and has flourished in the Far East, but it is only recently that Shiatsu has gotten its name and its rightful place in medicine. The word Shiatsu encompasses a wide range of styles and treatments. But what is it? Shiatsu is a form of Japanese bodywork essentially meaning “finger pressure”. This “finger pressure” is used along what is now known as the Chinese Meridians and Acupuncture points. Shiatsu can be performed fully clothed laying on a futon, completely naked in a high-end spa, lying with 10 other patients in a Japanese clinic or sitting on a stool at a Western health exhibit. Treatment can be very heavy handed, forceful pressure with manipulation or gentle with subtle pressure and stretching of the limbs, or palm healing. Some styles even work entirely off the body; very similar to Reiki. Shiatsu is often thought of coming from the practice of Acupuncture, but there is reason to believe that it predates Acupuncture. Touch is an instinctive form of healing and is the oldest form of medicine. It is only right to think that the points on the meridians had been rubbed and massaged before stone needles were in use (predated back to 8000 BC at the Neolithic sites in China where the first stone needles were found). Some Acupuncture teachers say that the meridians were originally perceived as lines of sensations travelling along the body while they were being stimulated. Using needles instead 174

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of thumb and finger pressure took less energy for the practitioner so Acupuncture took over in China as the main form of “energy” manipulation, although mastery of palpation and massage techniques are still very important part of the physicians training. In the United States Acupuncture became a dominant healing mode in the medical world while Massage ended up in the industry of pampering, until the 1970’s Olympic Games where massage started making a comeback into the medical field. Japan has a close relationship with the Chinese culture and took over the forms of Chinese Acupuncture and massage with less distortion. However, after the introduction of Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) in the 6th century changes were made. The Chinese culture is well known for their creativity, while the Japanese are known for their mastery of fine detail. With this the Japanese took the Chinese’s techniques and took the down to the finest details which ended up creating a kind of pressure massage of the abdomen called, Ampuku. Practitioners would spend 12 years of training learning how to diagnose and

treat disease exclusively via the abdomen, or the Hara as it is known to the Japanese. The Hara has its own unique place in the theory of Shiatsu, it is a very important area for diagnosing and treatment it is the center of the bodies energy. This area is known as the Sea of Ki, the Japanese word for Qi. Ki is the center of Shiatsu practice as it is in Traditional Chinese medicine, the practice of martial arts, and many other forms of healing and ways of life. The Hara and Ki is rooted so deeply in the Japanese culture that it is customary to ask how is your Ki instead of asking how are you. Shiatsu has been very successful in treating many disorders. They are split into different categories; Stress Related, Muscular Disorders, and Localized Physical Effects. Under the stress-related issues is insomnia, anxiety and depression, muscular tension, headaches, digestive disturbances, menstrual dysfunctions, low resistance to infection, which all respond well. Some of the muscular disorders are backache, synovitis, sprains and strains, neck and shoulder stiffness, and joint pain. Some of the localized physical effects are sinus congestion, fluid retention, and poor circulation. These are just a few things that Shiatsu has been proven to help. There are few contraindications for Shiatsu, but there are a few including the first trimester of pregnancy. After the first trimester Shiatsu is safe except in the abdominal region but also be worked on by an experienced practitioner. Any acute illness and fever is also contraindicated. Va r i c o s e ve i n s , wounds, fractures, operation scars and adhesions, inflamed


joints, and red or raw skin are also contraindicated. Shiatsu is traditional performed on a mat on the floor because this allows the practitioner the most versatility since the practitioner must use their body with all the techniques, including full body stretching, much like Thai Yoga. They use their hands, elbows, knees and feet to hit the points on the meridians. But for certain clients who can’t get down on the floor a chair or a very low table can be used. It is a little bit harder for the practitioner to do certain movements but they can be modified. Shiatsu is traditionally given while clothed, for this makes stretching the client much easier because of modesty issues. The practitioner doesn’t have to worry about exposing the client and the client can relax more knowing they won’t be exposed. It can be practiced

unclothed if the therapist is mixing traditional massage and Shiatsu. Another piece of Shiatsu is learning how to breathe through the Hara, abdominal region, if you have ever done yoga you will have some understanding of deep abdominal breathing. There are many different kinds of breathing and understanding them will help with the practice of Shiatsu. It’s about opening up the Hara and the energy channels of the abdomen. Shiatsu is deeply rooted in Traditional Chinese Medicine and works with the Five Element Theory to help with diagnosing and treating the Meridians of the body. There’s an extensive history background that should be taken which will give the practitioner an idea of what they are dealing with. The Five Element Theory

helps with figuring out which meridians are over abundant or under abundant of energy. Touch is also very important in determining if each meridian point has too much or too light energy flowing through the area. If there is too much they have to shut the point down if there is too little the point has to be opened up by using pressure on the points. Shiatsu is great alterative to Acupuncture if you are afraid of needles. Shiatsu can also be used in conjunction with Acupuncture. Acupuncture has many great healing aspects in its own right.

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A FACE LIFT WITH ACUPUNCTURE

Cosmetic acupuncture is a natural antiaging treatment that’s intended to stimulate the body’s healing energies and increase circulation to reduce wrinkles, fine lines and folds.

As I get older I have been noticing the fine lines and wrinkles around the eyes and the redness on the cheeks. I have tried fillers and botox, and makeup to hide the aging lines that all women have to contend with as they start to age. I have talked about my experience with Acupuncture on Facebook over the last 2 years and how much I love it. Acupuncture has helped with my menstrual cramps, neck pain and my headaches. I found out that Acupuncture is a great alternative method to treat aging skin, breakouts, acne, wrinkles, eczema, sagging skin, dark spots, dry skin, dullness and enlarged pores. Almost anything can affect complexion, from stress, poor sleep, bad diet, hormonal imbalances and environmental factors, which acupuncture has been proven time and time again. Acupuncturists have been using acupuncture for cosmetics since the Sung Dynasty (960-1279 AD). They inserted needles into specific points on the face that stimulate collagen turnover and blood flow to nourish the skin and reduce the appearance of wrinkles. It has been nicknamed the “Acupuncture Facelift.”

The Acupuncture Facelift, also known as the Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture, is an effective non-surgical, painless way to lessen the appearance of fine lines as well as deep wrinkles. According to Chinese medicine, it helps improve circulation and stimulates the body’s natural anti-aging powers. It helps increase blood and lymph to the face. This carries oxygen and nutrients, and aids in

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eliminating toxins. The Facial Rejuvenation Acupuncture may erase up to 15 years from the face, according to research. Sounds a bit scary to have needles in your face, but assure you that they do not. I have had the pleasure of going through a whole series of 10 treatments and I really started to see a difference in how my skin laid smoother around session 6, which is what I was told would happen. Amanda Balseca, L.Ac., who practices out of Healing Massage Retreat, uses hair-thin needles that are gently inserted into specific points on the face to facilitate the movement if blood and to stimulate the production of collagen. What I felt was super relaxed throughout the entire session. What you can look forward to with this treatment is those pesky fine lines maybe completely eliminated and deeper wrinkles diminished. The bags under the eyes can be reduced, the puffiness eliminated, droopy eyelids lifted and double chins minimized. Increased collagen production, muscle tone, and dermal contractions, brightened eyes, improved hormonal balance to help acne, and reduction of stress is a bonus to this Acupuncture treatment. I know you are supposed to do many treatments to see a result but every time I walked out I see results immediately. My skin was glowing, more voluminous, brighter. I noticed the dark circles around my eyes deminished greatly, the overall texture and


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“I have tried Botox and Fillers, and honestly loved the results from the facial acupuncture even better because they will last so much longer and are absolutely painless.” brightness of my face is much healther looking. Crows feet almost erased and the lines around my lips are greatly diminished. The most significant line reduction was from my nose to the corners of my mouth. These are completely gone. I feel so much better about about my looks and would refer others to Amanda Brilliante at Healing Massage Retreat. Before you decide to have facial acupuncture, you should make sure that the practitioner you choose is licensed and is an experienced one. 178

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While treatment preparation may vary slightly depending on the specialist you choose, the placement of the needles is similar for each treatment: with common insertion points being on the chin, around the nose, on the forehead, and on the sides of the face. No aftercare is needed with an acupuncture face lift and the risk of side effects is low. The treatment itself is quite painless, although if you don’t like needles, at first you might be a little aprehensive. Just close your eyes, relax and let the Acupuncturist go to work.

I have tried Botox and Fillers, and honestly loved the results from the facial acupuncture even better because they will last so much longer and are absolutely painless. Make sure you contact Amanda Brilliante at Healing Massage Retreat and get your free consultation today! Mention Rochester Woman Online and receive 25% Off with 10 sessions paid in full!


Acupuncture Facial Rejuvenator:

HEALING MASSAGE RETREAT I BLDG C, 550 Latona Rd #305 I Rochester, NY 14626 (585) 227-6816 I healingmassageretreat.com


{ from the doctor }

Female Laser Genital Rejuvenation by Mary Gail Mercurio, MD

Skin wrinkles are the most outward sign of skin aging. For the most part, wrinkles, skin tags and the “age” or “liver” spots associated with the aging process may be frustrating, but they typically do not have any serious medical consequences or limit our daily activities. While we don’t always think of it, there is simultaneous aging of the not so readily observed genital skin that may be accompanied by profound symptoms impacting quality of life. Everywhere you turn, you see a “miracle” treatment to combat skin aging. Aging genital skin, on the other hand, is the topic no one wants to talk about publicly (but everyone wants to talk about privately). Genital skin aging is inevitable and only varies in degree from woman to woman depending on a variety of factors including genetics, childbirth, age of menopause, exposure to chemotherapy, and estrogen use. The decline in estrogen that occurs after menopause has a profound impact on all the tissues of the lower genital tract including the external genital skin, vagina, and lower urinary tract impacting quality of life in a variety of ways. Like the skin elsewhere on the body, the composition of the genital skin changes with age with resultant thinning (atrophy) and alterations in the pH making the region less acidic (more basic). The more acidic environment that exists while we are young lends protection against yeast infections and urinary tract infections. Furthermore, this acidity helps to maintain what is called “barrier function” that scales down inflammation that can arise from external exposures that can be irritating or even cause allergic reactions. As we age, the loss of moisture and decrease in acidity means that the vagina and other genital areas are vulnerable to becoming so dry that small splits or cuts develop. These cuts are not only painful and slow to heal, but also create an entryway for infection and also allow substances in contact to cause irritation and allergy.. With a less robust barrier function, the same very routine exposures to substances that were not a problem prior to menopause including anti180

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bacterial soap, the fragrance in a scented feminine care product, or the preservative in an anti-itch cream, now can result in pain and irritation. In some women, the skin aging results in persistent burning and itching, and relieving the itch by scratching is not only socially unacceptable but increases the risk of traumatizing what is already more fragile skin. In light of all these changes, it is not uncommon for a woman who started out with a simple irritation to end up with an infection as well. Vaginal health is literally an extension of genital skin health. Like skin everywhere else, with age, the wall of the vagina thins, becomes less elastic, and there is a decreased in blood flow to the area. These changes result in fewer secretions, impairing natural moisture production that diminishes pleasure

with intimacy or makes it full out painful. And in some women, the result is persistent dryness, itching, and burning. Estrogen is the miracle drug for many women and the availability of locally applied estrogen makes it safer than ever. But for variety of reasons, estrogen is neither an option, nor the solution for all women. Fortunately, scientific advancements have led to a variety of more effective treatments for women suffering from skin related medical conditions as well as inescapable aging manifestations. Lasers have become the gold standard for safe and effective treatment to improve a bounty of age-related skin conditions including wrinkles, pigmentation, broken blood vessels, and unwanted hair growth, just to name a few. Genital application is a natural extension of the exciting laser technological advancements that dermatologists have pioneered and perfected over the last several decades allowing non-surgical and minimally invasive office-based techniques that can safely and effectively be applied to vulvar and vaginal concerns. The laser entree into the genital arena enables a non-pharmaceutical approach to turning back the clock on the inexorable changes that result from diminishing estrogen. By treating the vaginal wall with the laser, more vitalized tissue is created. The increased vasculature results in changes to the composition of the vaginal lining and restoring the body’s own natural defenses to infection, irritation, and allergy that abate with natural loss of estrogen. In addition, the damaged collagen and elastin that forms the framework of the vaginal wall is restored to its pre-menopausal thicker and more resilient state --- this is the precise technology used for reversal of wrinkling and sagging that occurs on the facial skin. Facing the aging process is not easy for women, and many of the accompanying symptoms are not only vexing, but also difficult to discuss which underestimates the scope and impact. Whether its Viagra or vaginal lasers, patients are increasingly aware that scientific advancements have significant physical and psychological relevance. The conversation with your doctor may be the first step to a whole new approach to enhancing self-fulfillment and quality of life!


Dermatology

Finally, a non-hormonal solution to a woman’s most intimate challenges.

The UR Medicine Dermatology is now offering diVa™ Vaginal Laser Therapy, a breakthrough innovation for women of all ages. Treatments offer a non-surgical approach to thinning or damaged vaginal or vulvar tissues – and are safe, effective and tailored to meet each woman’s specific needs. For more information or to schedule an appointment, please call (585) 487-1440 or visit urmedicine.org/dermatology

diVa is ideal for treating: n

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Urinary incontinence

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Painful intercourse

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by CHERYL KATES-BENMAN, ESQ. I photo by frank white

GROWTH OF A COMMUNITY COMES THROUGH EDUCATION

Ms. Sheppard studied Child and Family services at Roberts Wesleyan College earning a Master’s degree in Social Work. She works as a Care Coordinator at Hillside Family of Agencies and is an Adjunct Professor at her Alma Matter, RWC. She serves on the board for Action for a Better Community’s program, New Direction. Natalie utilizes her ability to problem solve and find solutions for complex problems when working with youth in her employment. Advocating for families and youth were always a part of her career path. Previously, she worked as a Program Coordinator at the Urban League; as an Intake Worker at the Crisis Nursery, a Caseworker at the Monroe County Children’s Detention Center and as an Associate Teacher at BOCES. Throughout her diverse career, dealing with complex issues involving the community’s youth Natalie has worked with students with developmental disabilities, youth in the criminal justice system and families. This diverse background makes her an excellent, experienced and caring person qualified for the political position she is seeking.

Natalie Sheppard, political candidate for Rochester City is running on the Democratic ticket for School District Natalie the primary election held September 12. There three seats available in the upcoming 2017 Commissioner of areelection. Candidates must be US citizens, 18-years -of -age, qualified voters and literate. On June Natalie received the Women’s Equality Schools, believes our 30,Party’s2017,endorsement. She is also endorsed by the Democratic Party and the Working Family’s schools directly affect Party. She was recently notified she was selected the “World Changer” award from the growth of our toAllreceive Women Rock ( an organization founded to empower and celebrate women). Natalie was overall community. chosen for this award because “She is worth

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this award and more. Her passion and vision is to change the world starting with home first. We’re honored to have such a young, powerful visionary such as Natalie’ (words of Tonya Cornelius, All Women Rock). Natalie’s campaign indicates she is the one for office because: “Natalie believes in the importance of having effective leadership that will work consistently with the community. Her vision of community partnering including students, families and neighborhood assets makes her the right choice” (campaign of NS). Natalie points out in campaign materials, the Rochester City School District is a community issue in that in the past figures indicate there is less than 50% graduation rate, students have a less than favorable reading assessment respective of their grade levels (grade levels) (N.S Democratic Committee Member Letter). If elected, Natalie hopes to change the negative assessments of the City School District. Natalie points out, “One major theme that has surfaced in each of my career positions is “reaching the highest levels of potential and effectiveness can only occur if all parties involved gives maximum effort.” It is important that we all believe we have a duty to ensure that our students are receiving appropriate education that will not only sustain them during their school years, but will give them an advantage once they have moved on and become responsible citizens. If it takes a village to raise a child, we all play a part. No role is too small. No goal is too big. Working together to build our community, with a general theme


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that “there is no separation” will produce the greatest results”. Natalie is optimistic. She is a very good candidate to add to the current Board to help effect change. “I decided to run for Rochester City School District School Board because I have experienced the hardships of trying to assist in rebuilding a person when the K-12 educational system has failed them. In my role as a Care Coordinator in Hillside’s Therapeutic Foster Care program, one of my main duties is to ensure that students are receiving the proper educational supports. I have advocated for students in various districts and I have seen the vast differences of how students and families are serviced in the Rochester City School District. There are many barriers that exist within the RCSD that continue to stand firm due to the RCSD leadership. I decided to run for office because I believe the Rochester community deserves leaders who will ensure that students receive a quality educational experience, families are treated with the utmost regard, and the community organizations and programs play a more active role within our district.

The positions of my platform are: 1 . O p t i m a l St u d e n t Engagement 2. Effective School Resources 3. Enhanced Teacher Support4. Strong Partnerships with Caregivers and Families 5. Utilizing Community Assets. 184

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I will make a difference as a School Commissioner by repairing the fundamental relationships of district leadership with students, families, staff, and community members. My leadership style can be described as partnership so I will be transparent through identifying areas of improvement, planning, and implementation. I whole heartedly believe in the concept of no separation so I will be a representative for the community as a whole”. Since so much in our society focuses on race, Rochester Woman Online decided to ask Natalie what issues she faces being a woman of color entering the political arena. No matter how much we try to incorporate equality and fairness into our institutional structures racism always plays an underlying factor. In professional spaces, we hear of unfair hiring practices, lower pay scales and that African-American people as a whole, must work twice as hard to achieve the same as white counterparts. Natalie answered this question in an interesting fashion: “I do believe as an African American woman that I face challenges running for office. Appearance is a big challenge for me. I know conforming to the “norm” of what society has placed on professionalism throws a huge curveball at me. I have natural coarse and curly hair. The styles that are conducive to my hair texture include the fro, cornrows (braids), and my most frequently worn self-named “frawk” (combination of fro and Mohawk). The challenge in appearance is if I am viewed in a negative way valuing my ability as a leader and more importantly as a person”. Rochester Woman Online began featuring Rochester Politics in the last edition as we head into the end stretch of the election process we again feature a new politician entering the arena. Q: What is your opinion on Rochester politics as a candidate? “This is my first time running for a political position and I have had quite the experience. There are different political groups that have

been formed for decades. I entered the race saying I would be a “neutral” candidate and would be willing to work with any person that holds the same values of transparency, integrity, and partnering. I experienced much back lash in the political arena being told numerous times I would “have to pick a side”. I stayed to true to my core values as a leader and did not pick a side. Instead I worked with like-minded reformative and progressive individuals that want to continue to service the community in such a way that creates positive outcomes in the areas of education, poverty, and community relations. I think that Rochester politics needs to be changed especially how leaders interact with one another and the community”. Rochester Woman Online is proud to tell our readers a “Behind the scenes” story about Natalie Sheppard. It appears she is a progressive leader seeking genuine change for the betterment of the community. Natalie Sheppard is a woman who inspires!


{ SPECIAL FEATURE } “One major theme that has surfaced in each of my career positions is “reaching the highest levels of potential and effectiveness can only occur if all parties involved gives maximum effort.”


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by CHERYL KATES-BENMAN I PHOTOS BY TELLIER STUDIOS

A NewFound Freedom, Soaring Through the Sky

It’s a bird! it’s a plane! No, it’s aerialist Jenna Abelon, soaring through the sky on her trapeze. All of us have memories of attending the Barnum Bailey Circus, watching the beautiful aerialist trapeze teams and wanting one day to be them.

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The women in beautiful costumes, riding around on exotic animals and the suspense of whether anyone will fall from hundreds of feet above the three rings, up in the sky. For us this comes once a year, kicking off with the elephants marching the streets in down town Rochester, but for Jenna Abelon this is her everyday life. The life of an aerialist became even more so popular when Cirque Du Soliel popped on the scene and with recording artist Pink, using ribbon air techniques in her performances. Jenna performs trapeze, hoop, cube, pole and acro-dance.

Rochester Woman Online caught up with Jenna to learn more about the life of an aerialist. Jenna traveled the country to follow her dreams. Last year, she packed up her life in Rochester NY and travelled across the country with her dog Paco. She left her friends and family behind to pursue better opportunities in Las Vegas, Los Angeles and later in North Carolina. During this trip, Jenna reflected on her past and all of the obstacles she was faced with including being a survivor of domestic violence and personal struggles. Her spiritual connection with God often becomes her strength to face another day. The experience to relocate did not go smoothly and things Jenna put in place fell through. Jenna started out staying with a friend, but in pursuit of her dreams, she was faced with a new dilemma, being homeless in a foreign place. Jenna recalls some days where she slept in her car or ate raviolis out of a can. Despite these challenges, she refused to give

up, because she was following her dreams. She then decided to move to North Carolina where she taught Pole in Charlotte while performing with Cirque De Vol in Raleigh. When Jenna came home to visit recently, she realized that no matter how good the success was she was missing one thing…the friends and family to share it with. She packed up everything again and returned to Rochester to be near family. She was going to travel either way so why not make Rochester her home base. Jenna spends most of her time in entertainment as she founded Epic Rose, a company which provides a variety of artists for events. Additionally, she teaches at Aerial Arts, and provides training through Strong Inside Out Personal Training. Jenna recently performed at Raven Night Club in Atlantic City and at the grand opening of Comedy @ The Carlson. We see the glamour and glitz of being an aerialist, as a whole, I don’t think any of us understand the true commitment and dedication required to perfect the craft. Jenna must practice daily. In addition, she must adhere to a strict diet and exercise regime to maintain her strength and agility. After performances, although it appears easy because they are done usually in ten-minute stretches, an aerialist is often sore and battered, but this is something they become accustomed to as part of their life. To Jenna, the bruises and rough hands are worth every bit of the reward and therapy she gets from her art During practices, or the show, an aerialist may have glitches but the show must go on.


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Recently, when performing at a local grand opening, while on the trapeze, Jenna suffered a wardrobe mishap where her corset opened. Being a performer, you take things as they come and basically wing it. If something unplanned occurs you deal with it. Jenna’s most memorable performance was a piece she choreographed surrounding the stages of Alzheimer’s. Through make-up Jenna transformed to an old woman. This was personal as a close family member is suffering from this disease. When she writes and performs, she hopes to touch her audience so that they can feel her performance instead of just watch it. Her art comes from her personal experiences, and is her therapy, adding “This is my high, my drug, my happy place…No matter what I’m going through there is a dance and routine waiting for me to express to deal with it all.” Additionally, Jenna is working with Cheryl on the film “Happily Never After” a documentary film on domestic violence survivors. Using personal experiences as the fuel for your passion enhances whatever art-form practiced. When the artist feels the pain, the pain is portrayed 188

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in the end format of the work. To teach others through performing is an experience like no other. Jenna is also a vocalist. She was in Rebel Studio recently working with music producer Fido and Rogues Pierre of Dark Reign Royalty, an entertainment company in Long Island. She enjoys and makes all kinds of music. In the near future, Jenna hopes to release her musical projects and knows it will be something different we will all enjoy. Jenna models, is an artist and does tattoos. She is formerly, editor Cheryl L. Kates-Benman’s co-host on WAYO radio’s LAW and Hip Hop. The pair are embarking on a new venture in the future with Glickman and Goldman Media. A new podcast is scheduled to kick off in early September featuring Kates and Abelon “Lights, Camera Fashion”. Why should our readers be inspired? Despite, facing extreme obstacles Jenna Abelon was able to pick up the pieces and start over. Sometimes knowing how to go home is all you need. Sometimes being a pretty face makes things

more difficult. As a woman, when you are beautiful often people fail to recognize your true potential because they can’t see past your physical beauty to the beauty within.

“This is my high, my drug, my happy place…No matter what I’m going through there is a dance and routine waiting for me to express to deal with it all.”


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By Julia Antenucci | Photos by Brandon Vick PHOTOGRAPHY

SIMPLY CREPES It is unquestionable that the crepe is a romantic food. A delicate, slender thing, the crepe wraps its golden body over the fillings and flavors the eater so chooses to place in its center. It is elusive, and hard to pin down. With the sprinkle of salt and the addition of cheese, crispy bacon, avocado, eggs and hollandaise, the blank canvas soon transforms into a sweeping savory symphony. But a little sugar, some terrifically fresh slices of fruit and a dollop of amaretto cream will render a sensually sweet crepe, one that certain 17th century literary greats are wont to wax poetic about (I’m looking at you, Anatole France).

The crepe is a romantic food. From its form to its context, it’s easy to feel like the world is a little more magic when you’re eating a crepe. It is this very sense of enchantment that made Simply Crepes open its doors in late 2007. Originally from Rochester, her father’s job brought Nicole Heroux and her family to Japan. For a few very formative years of her childhood, Nicole, her brother and her parents found themselves immersed in Japanese customs, language, culture and, of course, food. Nicole and her family would often find themselves at the monastery shrine sales, where foods and items of all kinds were sold. Nicole found herself enchanted by the sights and smells – especially the crepe vendors. “You could just smell the crepes walking through the market,” she said. Moreover, Nicole and her family were taken by the way Japan approached food and dining.


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“When you went to a restaurant, you wouldn’t find sushi, ramen, and hotpot all on one menu. In Japan, restaurants tend to focus on one food and showcase it.” In Japan, this is a common practice. With an emphasized value placed on simplicity of ingredients and mastery of craft, establishments are more likely to showcase the value and versatility of one dish, using toppings, condiments and the like. For the Heroux family, crepes were the perfect blank canvas to release their creativity upon. If you think about it, it really is a perfect food. Crepes don’t exist exclusively in a single culture. From the Chinese jianbing to the Russian bliny to the well-loved and romanticized French galette, crepes have existed for centuries and have been found across all seven continents. And for this very reason, Simply Crepes is able to resonate with a multiplicity of individuals within numerous contexts. While many of the crepes on the menu take a rather traditional route, Nicole and her team continually researches food trends as well as new and interesting flavor combinations. Like chicken cordon-bleu? There’s a crepe for that. How about the breakfast of champions, eggs, bacon and cheese? There’s a crepe for that too. And pineapple upside down cake? By God, there’s a crepe for that also (and one of my favorites,

can’t you tell?), gloriously stuffed with amaretto roasted pineapple, toasted almonds, a delectable amaretto cream and topped with a generous scoop of ice cream. Another crepe of note is the scallion crepe, loaded with bacon, fresh scallions, cheddar cheese and two perfectly over easy eggs. While non-crepe items are few and far between, you can also indulge in some small plate items, like balsamic bacon brussel sprouts with goat cheese or fried cinnamon crepe chips in amaretto cream dip. It’s the kind of place that really has it all. Whether you’re a savory or sweet person, meat eater or vegetarian, gluten intolerant, a weekend warrior or a staunch cold brew lover, Simply Crepes is a place where eaters can forget their differences and come together. Hell, even the low carb set can rejoice, as the crepe is an inherently low-carb food. “We always want to stay true to ourselves,” Nicole said. “Everything we do leads back to that.” Today Simply Crepes has two additional locations: in Canandaigua and in Raleigh, North Carolina. According to Nicole, a surprising number of locals stumble upon the Raleigh location. “It’s always an amazing reminder of how small our world is,” she said.

While crepes may be their culinary niche, Simply Crepes doesn’t limit themselves when it comes to getting involved in the community. Just last month, the establishment took home the winning prize at Sip and Savour Rochester/Rochester A-List’s Waffle and Beer Pairing Event at Genesee Brewery. On August 24, the restaurant will be holding a prix-fix pairing dinner, featuring a full course harvest dinner paired with drinks Three Heads Beer and featuring recipes from Black Button Spirits. If you’re not able to make it to the pairing dinner, you can catch Nicole on the third episode of Roc’n Kitchen on September 14, where myself and Stephanie (Sip and Savour Rochester) hang with her in our kitchen and learn how to make one of her favorite recipes from childhood. Find Roc’n Kitchen on Facebook or Instagram to learn more about Nicole’s upcoming appearance. Simply Crepes’ place in the Rochester/ greater Fingerlakes community is anything but simple. Sweet, savory, and extremely enchanting, it’s a spot that will continue to maintain its status as a beloved Rochester eatery for years to come.


{ Tuxedos pet corner }

ATTENTION ANIMAL and JEWELRY LOVERS You’re Invited to a Pawbrokers Party For

Verona Street Animal Society Foster Program Wednesday, August 23, 2017 5:00 - 9:00pm

Lovin’ Cup Bistro

300 Park Pointe Dr.

Rochester, NY 14623 Thousands of pieces of jewelry including:

Designer pieces-Current fashion trends- Gemstones

Gold - Silver - Pearls - Rhinestones - Onyx - Chunky - Delicate - Funky And so much more……..

100% of the proceeds will go to Verona Street Animal Society Foster Program Clean out your jewelry boxes of the jewelry you no longer wear

Bring it with you the day of the party – if you don’t have any, please come anyway See our website for future dates www.pawbrokers.org

We will be selling our signature Pawtinin and $1.00 of everyone sold will go to the rescue


{ Tuxedos pet corner }

“Training for you... Training for your dog”

Training Services Offered: • Private In Home Lessons • Puppy Socialization • Basic Obedience • Intermediate Obedience • Canine Good Citizen • Therapy Pets Unlimited and more...

Tuxedo’s: The boarding, day care and training facility where your dog is never left alone! Attendants on site 24/7.

The boarding, day care and training facility where your dog is never left alone! Attendants on site 24/7.


T

{ tuxedos pet corner } By MARK FORREST PATRICK

There are plants, shrubs and mulch that are harmful to your pet. If you are not sure which gardening materials are pet safe ask the local gardening professionals.

SPRING DIGGING... IN THE SUMMER

With the arrival of the summer months it is time to think about lawn and garden needs for the growing season ahead. As you make your plans for your outdoor space please keep your family pet in mind.

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Planning ahead with the proper information can make this a safe and happy summer for your entire family. When preparing your garden and yard here a few suggestions to save you frustration later. Refrain from allowing your canine companion seeing you dig in the yard or garden. Once your pet observes the behavior, it has given them permission to follow the same activity and behavior. There are several reasons why your dog may dig and here are a few of the most common. A.) Boredom and lack of activity. B.) The environment is not desirable (lacking toys and playmates). C.) Digging for burrowed animals or insects. D.) Seeking comfort in hot weather. E.) Seeking attention by digging in front of you. To address these concerns you will need to get to the root cause of the problem. When you allow your pet to roam and play outside alone the chances are boredom. Monitor their activity and if you observe scrapping on the ground with their front paws give the cue of “NO DIG� and go outside and redirect the behavior by giving them some attention with a ball or walk the lawn. While it may appear that your dog is enjoying their time outside, dogs enjoy your company too. Include in the daily routine additional exercise and stimulation with playtime outside. Allow your companion to run and play with his toys outside. Some dogs have an excessive desire to dig and in this situation, create an area that is their safe digging zone. The area should be soft sand and/or top soil, if you see them beginning to dig in the yard, bring him to the area designated

as a dig zone and dig a hole. Encourage your pet to dig in the designated digging area. If he/she continues to dig in the forbidden areas place chicken wire one to two inches under the soil in the area that he had dug before. When placing the chicken wire under the soil fold the sharp edges under to avoid injury. Place large rocks into the ground around the buried wire, creating a boundary. If the digging continues, keep him inside and only allow him out during supervised and controlled visits. When correcting a behavior it must be corrected at the time of the activity. If it is after the fact it is too late and your pet does not understand what you are correcting him for. If you have a dog that enjoys digging, turn the activity into a game by burying dog treats in the digging zone. While placing the treats into the digging zone allow your dog to see you bury them in the sand. Once they see the activity they will begin to search for the instant reward of the dog treat in the sand. Once this activity begins, continue to restock the digging zone with new treats and toys. Regardless of what method you take to eliminate and stop the digging, the most important rule of thumb is not to punish your dog for the behavior. If digging continues despite your best efforts contact a professional to assist you with the challenge and address the root cause for the behavior. Digging is an undesirable behavior and if not corrected can lead to serious frustration for pet and owner alike. Mark Forrest Patrick is the owner and trainer at Tuxedo’s K9 Training Camp. Visit www.tuxedosk9.com for more details.


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{ IN HIS DEFENSE }

Burglary...Home Invasion... WHATEVER by DAVID JENKINS

This recurring column by David S Jenkins of Rochester Personal Defense, LLC will explore different areas and methods of personal protection and self defense. Topics will range from using specific tools, techniques, or even yourself and your mind as the weapon. The goal is to create a more aware and safer you! Questions or suggestions are welcome! Burglary, home invasion, whatever. It does not matter what they call it when someone that does not belong in your home is in fact, in your home. It’s scary, it’s not what you want to deal with in the middle of the night, or even in the day time, and it definitely is something you should not have to encounter- with the right planning and preparations. Our initial questions range among the following: “What is their intent?” In most people’s minds, it does not matter. Someone is in your home and you want them gone now! “Why would someone break into a house anyway?” – It’s either to steal your property or to assault you. They’re not in your house to compare the décor to Better Homes and Gardens. “What should I do to prevent this?” Read further for tips and ideas. Statistically, burglars will most likely enter via unlocked windows and doors. Wait, It’s that obvious? Yes! People will leave windows and doors unsecured for many reasons. Most times it is convenience or laziness. Sometimes it is the feeling of “It won’t happen here, I live in a good neighborhood”. Other ways they gain

entry is by pretending to be door to door survey or sales people, or asking directions, for gas or money for a broken down car, or other trick. Just looking into your home gives them a chance to assess what’s inside. As evidenced by a recent story of a burglary/ home invasion, it CAN happen in your neighborhood. Unfortunately, it is not an isolated or rare incident. Just recently, a couple in a Northern Rochester suburb woke up to a number of criminals inside their home and upon discovery, the homeowners were attacked and beaten. Obviously, we don’t normally expect to be assaulted in our own homes, but what if it was YOUR home and YOU were the ones that heard the noises? Do you have a plan and are you practiced and prepared to use that plan?

Looking at the statistics, more burglaries happen in the daytime as they expect the house to be unoccupied. These break ins are usually planned, meaning the criminal has an idea when you won’t be home or how they will get in. Some break ins will happen at night because they figure stealth and darkness will help. Either way, there are many ways to reduce the risk that your home is burglarized. We’ll start with want we call the ‘outer ring’ or the view from the street. This may be 30 to 50 yards away from your home or more. Then, we’ll work out way in to the center. This something I would encourage you to go out and perform. Think like someone trying to get in your home. Another way is: if you lost your keys, how could YOU get into your home without lots of damage or noise?

The view from the street:

- Does your home show signs of ease of access through a window or door? How many windows could you look into? Can you push a screen out and climb in? Can you get to the window lock and open it? Do the bushes cover the windows allowing you time to get in without being seen? - If you have an alarm, are the decals on the windows or a sign stuck in the ground in the front? They’re not just there for advertising, they’re also good for a visual deterrent. - Are there ladders and other climbing tools outside that someone could use to get to a second floor window? - If you have fences


by dave jenkins

- If you park your car in the driveway, make sure it is locked and that you remove the garage door opener (or avoid programming the built in buttons on the console). A lot of home entries have been made thru the attached garage because the car was unlocked.

Next the house itself:

- Are your doors cheap and weak hollow core types or are they steel, fiberglass, or even solid wood? - Do you doors have large glass windows or smaller viewing ones? it’s not that hard to break a door window quietly and then reach in to open the locks and the door. - How good are your locks? Currently, you are advised to have a lock AND a deadbolt on your door. The deadbolt should be at least 2” or more in length to protrude into the framing of the wall, not just the frame of the door. Don’t go cheap. Spend good money on good locks and you’ll be safer. - Are your windows locked or pinned so they cannot open enough for someone to crawl in? - Are the window locks secure and tight? Over time, the metal swivel locks on wooden sashes will loosen. The screws will not hold tight and the locks themselves do not last forever. Check all of them and replace any faulty or damaged ones immediately. - Is there an alarm system? If so, do you use it every night and when you leave the house? If you do, good for you! If not, why? They are one of the most effective deterrents and

tools you can have to protect your home and your family!

The inside of your home:

- When leaving the home or at night, do a lock and window check. You’ll sleep better knowing you’re making it difficult for someone to get in. - Have a break in/home invader plan. This plan should include calling the police immediately when you hear anything that is not right. Yes, immediately. That way, help is coming. You can always call back if it turns out to be nothing or less than what you thought it was. Another part of your plan, if you are sure that someone is in the home, is NEVER go looking for an intruder to ambush them. You may want to catch them in the act so the police can arrest them, but you are taking a huge risk for your safety. Only confront them if there’s a risk to your family. Get to your kids if required, or secure yourself in a room and stay on the phone with 911. - Have a ‘GET OUT’ plan for everyone that lives in the home. This can be very similar to a fire escape plan. - Alternatively, have a ‘safe room’ plan. In the event of a confirmed burglar/home invader, have a way to get everyone to a place of safety. This should be behind a locked, solid door with some means of outside communication.

The last component in this home defense concept is you and your family. - What have you done to physically protect

yourself? Have you learned what tools or weapons you’d be willing to use to protect yourself or your loved ones? tools can be: Bats, golf clubs, pepper spray, and firearms. Whatever you decide to use, you MUST be trained and practiced in the use of that tool. Otherwise you will not be effective. Have you educated your family members the same way? - Have you worked out scenarios that are likely to happen? Have you walked though them by yourself or with your family? Obviously, there are a lot more tips and tactics that can be used to safeguard your home and property, but this is a good way to get started. Another option is to have the staff from Rochester Personal Defense, LLC come do a home safety and security inspection. The investment in time and money now will save you a lot of expense and hassle later. Don’t make it easy on the criminals, burglars, and assaulters. They only commit crime because us good people are sometimes unwilling to accept that it CAN happen and it WILL happen if given the chance. Deny them the chance. Be aware, be strong, be proactive. You’ll make it a lot less likely that you’ll be a victim. David S Jenkins is the Founder and Primary Instructor for Rochester Personal Defense, LLC, based here in Rochester. Contact him through www.safeinrochester.com or at 585-406-6758 to see what programs he offers and how you can get involved


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{ special feature } by cassondra kubit

As a Licensed Massage Therapist, I hear that getting a massage, getting acupuncture, getting a facial or a body treatment every month is too expensive. I am here to tell you that that is BS. We only have one body and taking care of our bodies should be top priority. I will admit that Massage Therapy can be terribly over priced in high end spas and hotels, but there are many independent Licensed Massage Therapists (LMT) that are reasonably priced and very good at what they do. When you are looking for a LMT you want to be looking at their credentials, how long they have been in business, and what kind of continuing education they have had. You want to look for a therapist who is going to be fitting your needs. There are many types of massages which come with different training courses and certifications. Having knowledge on what to expect from different styles is also important when testing out a new LMT to make sure you are getting what you are asking and paying for.

What Do You Mean Taking Care of Your Body Is Too EXPENSIVE?

Massages in the Rochester, NY area range from $60-$100 for a 60 Minute massage, this encompasses Swedish, Deep Tissue and Hot Stones, which are the most basic of massages. When you step away from those three styles the prices tend to range from $80 and up depending on the price of the training course and what is involved in the session. If you are walking jason pearce into a High-end spa by or hotel expect that a 60 Minute Swedish Massage will start out around $80 and go as high as $120 in the area. You are paying for the atmosphere of the spa and not for the experience of the therapist or their skill set. You might say that is super high and that you can go onto Groupon or Living social and get a Swedish Massage for around $35, which is very true, but you are paying what you get. Not to say that the therapists on Groupon are bad, I would never say that because I know quite a few of them are very good, but you are paying $35 which is cut in half by Groupon and the therapist is only getting paid $17.50. (If you do Groupon for any services I ask that you call the therapist up and offer to pay the Groupon price to them.) Now that I brought this up if you end up liking the therapist you got to see, I suggest that you stick with them and continue seeing them at their regular price. You will get better work done when the therapist is familiar with your body and the issues that it causes you. When you flip from therapist to therapist you will be getting different services and styles that may not be what you are needing. Having one or two therapists that you like and sticking with them will make sure you are being worked on the way that is best for you. Now that we have gotten price talk out of the way we have to talk about budgeting Massage, Acupuncture, Body Treatments, and any other services that take care of your body, into your monthly budget. Yup I said budget it in for

the month. Let’s go with your massage/body treatment costs $60 with $10 tip a month. Looks like a big number, but it really isn’t. Let’s look at your monthly habits. Many people go out and buy coffee at least 2 times a week or more. Or if you aren’t a coffee drinker maybe you but an energy drink or a chiller, which ever it is let’s say your average cost is $3.50 each time. So, 2 times a week you spend $3.50 which is $7 dollars a week and $28 a month. What if you only bought 1 drink a week and put $14 dollars towards your treatment for the month. So, we have $14 dollars and need $56 more out of the monthly budget. Ask yourself how many times do you go out to eat each month or hit a fast food restaurant. Eating out nowadays for two people is no less than $40 dollars. Going to a fast food restaurant for two is usually around $15-20. Let’s say you go out to eat at least once a week and once a week for fast food at least once a week. So around $60 a week is spent on going out to eat which equals around $240. So instead of going out to eat every week you could stay in that night and put $40 towards your treatments, or not go to the fast food restaurant for lunch and save $20. Cutting on one of each for the month will put you at the $56 that you need to cover your treatment. If eating out is a big thing for you there are other things that could be slimmed down. How often do you go see a movie on the big screen? This outing costs anywhere from $20-$40 if you buy drinks and popcorn. You could do a movie night at home and rent from red box or any of the online sites for $1-$4 and pop some popcorn from the cupboard. There is also impulse buying when at the grocery store. You could make a list and cut coupons to save some money and not throw in that extra bag of chips that you may have an opened one at home of. What I am trying to say is there is always a way of taking care of your body. Our muscles are the cause of 90% of our pain. We need our muscles to do everything that we do in our daily lives. We tire our muscles out to a point of no return, which can be reversed with a monthly massage. Our skin is our first line of defense. The skin can tell us where there is something wrong internally. Acne, dry skin, oily skin, color changes are all signs that could tell us about our internal issues. Why not take care of the skin and strengthen our first defense against disease? Our internal energies can be disturbed by everything that we do. Having them realigned with Acupuncture will help us heal and make you feel better. So, there are NO EXCUSES about taking care of your body. There are always ways of getting the care you need. Sometimes it’s just cutting out a cup of coffee from a store and making it at home. Some therapists even offer loyalty prices and package deals to help keep down the costs. All you have to do is ask. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ rochester drinks }

ROCHESTER SUMMER... Finally In Full Swing by jason pearce

Rochester summer is finally in full swing. Time to fire up the blender, switch your ice maker from cubed to crushed, and visit your local liquor store for some fine Caribbean rum. Get the invites out ASAP for a late summer, island themed, cocktail party. RWO and Rochester Drinks have compiled a selection of easy to prepare frozen cocktails to help you chill with friends and family and squeeze every ounce of fun out of the season. First decide on three to four cocktails to be served. You can keep it traditional with frozen margaritas and fruit daquiris, go trendy with “frose” or sangria wine slushies, get creative with fresh squeezed juices and unusual liqueurs, or keep it simple and easy with premixes like Parrot Bay Orange Pineapple Dream and Parrot Bay Mudslide that come ready to blend and serve. These recipes and tips, compiled by frozen drink enthusiast and former Hilton Head Island Tiki Bartender, Jennifer Pierce, should help even a novice host create memorable cocktails: First, make a batch of simple syrup by heating equal parts sugar and water. It is that easy. Once the sugar is dissolved you have one of the basics of cocktail creation. Put it in your favorite sealed container and store in the refrigerate for up to a month, so you can make cocktails at a moment’s notice. If you want to add a flavor to your simple syrup you can add any ingredient you like during the heating. Fresh mint is easy to find and mint simple syrup can add another layer of flavor to many cocktails. Second, coat fresh berries in simple syrup, put them in a ziplock bag and freeze them. Pre-frozen berries will work, but fresh fruit at local farmers’ stands and the Rochester Public Market is too affordable and delicious to pass up. Also peal and freeze bananas, the more ripe the better. Stone fruit, like peaches and cherries are also great in frozen drinks when in season. 214

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Make sure you have plenty of ice. The smaller the better, and crushed iced works best when blending. Remember, there is no such thing as too much ice when throwing a party. Mixes, like those used by many restaurants and created locally by feebrothers.com can save you time and effort, and many people prefer to use a premade daquiri/margarita mix or pina colada mix, but with a little planning and prep work at the market and in the kitchen you can create all your favorite drinks using fresh ingredients. Fresh squeezed fruit juice is great when put into ice cube trays and frozen before being added to the blender.

Pina Colada- 1.5 oz Naked Turtle Rum, 2 oz coconut milk, ½ cup fresh pineapple, 1 cup ice. Blend all ingredients

together and garnish with a pineapple wedge and cocktail cherry.

Strawberry Daq- 1.5 oz Turtle Rum, ¾ oz fresh lime juice, 1 oz simple syrup, ½ cup strawberries, 1 cup ice. Blend all ingredients together and garnish with a fresh strawberry on the rim of the glass. (Substitute your favorite berry, blend of berries, or fresh fruit for strawberries to make a wide variety of frozen daquiris.) Margarita- 1.5 oz Peligroso Silver

Tequila, ½ oz Stirrings Triple Sec, 1 oz Fresh lime juice, 1 oz Simple Syrup, rim glass with lime juice and coarse kosher salt. Add 1 cup ice and your favorite fruit (we recommend watermelon or honeydew melon) and blend with ice. Garnish with a lime wheel.

Captain’s Milkshake- 1

frozen banana, 1.5 oz Captain Morgan Spiced Rum, 1/3 cup milk, 3 scoops vanilla ice cream. Blend all ingredients together and garnish with whipped cream topped with cookie crumble.

Frohito- 3 oz Naked Turtle Rum,

6 fresh mint leaves, 1 oz simple syrup, 1 oz fresh lime juice, 1 cup ice. Blend all ingredients together and garnish with a mint sprig.

Raspberry Wine Slushy-

1.5 oz Smirnoff Raspberry Vodka, 5 ripe raspberries, 1 oz OJ, 4 oz of your favorite red wine (Finger Lakes reds like the ones from Colloca Estates work well), ½ oz simple syrup, 1 cup ice. Blend all ingredients, pour into large wine glass and garnish with a raspberry. Finally, if you want to get really creative try using any one of these recipes to create boozy adult frozen dessert bars. And always remember to tag #RWO and #rochesterdrinks when posting pics of your guests enjoying your hand crafted cocktails.


{ rochester drinks } Pina Colada - 1.5 oz Naked Turtle Rum, 2 oz coconut milk, ½ cup fresh pineapple, 1 cup ice. Blend all ingredients together and garnish with a pineapple wedge and cocktail cherry.

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{ resolve }

OMG! My Kid is Dating by Allison D. O’Malley, CEO

A few years ago, I wrote an article for Rochester Woman Magazine about teen dating, a topic that strikes fear in the hearts and minds of most parents. As CEO of RESOLVE, a nonprofit organization focused on preventing violence and abuse in intimate relationships, I spend entirely too much time thinking about this issue. At the time, I was reeling upon the realization that my son, who had just finished learning about puberty in his fifth grade health class, was on the cusp of dating. Today, he’s 14. He hasn’t ventured into dating yet, though some of his friends have; and he has felt the sting of disappointment over an “out-of-his-league” crush. Why does the subject of teen dating scare parents? There are many reasons. Most of us recall the awkwardness, embarrassment, and heartbreak we experienced early in our dating lives. For some, the prospects of teen dating force us to confront that our kids are growing up and we may not be ready to let them go. Some of us know that dating is different now – with technology – than it was for us and we just don’t know what to expect. Some of us are freaked out about our kid’s growing interest in sex. I’m sure this list could consume the rest of the article; but whatever your fears are, please take comfort in knowing that you’re not alone. Unfortunately, there isn’t a parent’s handbook for teen dating; but we do have a role to play. Teens have lots of questions, but don’t really know where to start. So, just like we did, they press forward and learn through experience. Is teen dating really different today than it was for us? YES, absolutely! First, there’s technology, which fundamentally changes how romantic relationships develop and play out. Early dating relationships can exist entirely online; which isn’t necessarily safer than person-to-person. Kids also feel much more societal 216

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and peer pressure to become sexually active. They are bombarded by TV, YouTube, video games, radio, magazines, and teen novels with messages about sex, how to be and act sexy, and how to engage in sex acts. Many also believe that oral sex is “no big deal”. Another big difference today is that both boys and girls feel tremendous pressure to meet unrealistic body standards. Today’s teens also have a much greater awareness and acceptance of sexual orientation and gender identity. With their peers, they don’t feel pressured into traditional heterosexual relationships. In fact, kids in middle school talk openly about being gay, lesbian, or bisexual; some identify as asexual, which means not identified with any specific gender group. Students who identify as transgender are

also much more common today and change the dating landscape. This openness about sexuality is really liberating for our kids; and it can be incredibly challenging for parents to accept, let alone understand.

What role do parents play in teen dating? It is our job to monitor these early dating relationships and make sure they are safe. It’s important to recognize that intimate relationships at any age exist on a continuum. The best relationships are healthy and feature: mutual respect, a spirit of cooperation and support, the ability to navigate conflict, and consent. With emotions and hormones running high in teen years, this can be a tall order. However, finding ways to talk with your kids about how they want to be treated in relationships and how they treat others will help. Many teen relationships are unhealthy. These relationships feature high emotion and intensity, lots of drama and fighting often due to jealousy, lack of trust and respect. It is very common for young people to float between unhealthy and healthy in early intimate relationships. What you really need to watch for are abusive or violent relationships. You might think “not my kid, don’t be silly”, but you would be sorely mistaken. According to a 2013 Youth Risk Behavior Survey, published in JAMA Pediatrics, 1 in 3 high school students reports being physically or sexually abused in a dating relationship. Please note that statistic does not say girls, it is all students. In the world of teens, abuse is perpetrated nearly equally by boys and girls, so you need to pay attention to your son’s relationships too. Abusive teen relationships feature dynamics of power and control that can be hard for parents to identify, but here are some clues. 1) Pay attention to how your teenager is feeling about


{ resolve } It is our job to monitor these early dating relationships and make sure they are safe. It’s important to recognize that intimate relationships at any age exist on a continuum. The best relationships are healthy and feature: mutual respect, a spirit of cooperation and support, the ability to navigate conflict, and consent.

themselves particularly after interacting with their dating partner. 2) Watch for changes in behavior like dropping out of activities that matter to them, changing how they dress, or how they spend downtime. 3) Listen to how they talk about their partner, if they say things like “he needs me” or “she’s great but…,” these are important warning signs.

What can I do as a parent? The single most important thing you can do is keep the lines of communication open

with your teen; be observant and present. Pay attention to how your teen is responding to the relationship. Are they generally happy or anxious? If you can, get to know their dating partner and their family. When they fight, even if it’s often, don’t rush in or pry. Fights visible to you, unless they are physical, are probably not abuse. Teens will hide the really bad stuff. Look for non-confrontational ways to find out how they are feeling. Most kids would rather talk to you about their feelings then be interrogated about what happened.

If you have reason to be concerned, find a gentle way to point out what you’re seeing. Explain why you’re concerned and remind them that you love them and just want them to be happy. If you issue ultimatums, be ready for your teen to dig in and take their partner’s side. This can be tricky. If there are indications of violence and abuse, or your teen is seriously depressed, talk to a domestic violence professional or call 911.

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Join us for a Happy Hour to benefit g Featurin guest rs: bartende Dino Kay Fickle 93.3

Kelly Breuer Woman Magazine

August 26, 7 – 10 p.m. The Reserve Wine Bar at I-Square 400 Bakers Park in Irondequoit

Taylor Copie RESOLVE Board Mem-

Special thanks to:


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{ rw foodie }

by debbie santillo i PHOTO BY SANDY ARENA

As the peaceful, serenity engulfed me. My mind felt happy and healthy. I was no longer stressing over this or that. I looked around and no one was in sight. I really started to evaluate just how wonderful this yard and my gardens were. I started to think, wow, how did I get so lucky as to have such a wonderful environment surrounding me? This garden that I have built over the last 11 summers, truly became a wonderful, friendly, happy and healthy place. Trust me, it didn’t grow over night. So, as I evaluated what I artistically placed together, I realized just how in sync everything was. How did this yard get there? Well this I’ll explain.

Friendly, Happy, Healthy Gardens

Some say, take the time to smell the roses! But often, we are too busy. Today, after doing what was needed, I took the time to do just that. Sitting out on my deck, looking out over my many garden areas, on a very hot afternoon was very peaceful. So, I just sat. I don’t think I’ve been able to do that all summer.

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Gardens have a very important balance to maintain. Even though one does not think pleasant thoughts of bugs as when bees, spiders, and lady bugs are mentioned, they play a wonderful role. You see bumble bees, honey bees, carpenter bees, are all good pollinators. They work hard collecting all the nectar and pollen. They carry it from one plant to another, pollinating or fertilizing each flower they land on. Bees are very important. Our plants, fruit trees, need them. Does anyone love spiders? Well maybe a few, but not me! If left alone on their built webs, they can catch many bugs that could ruin your plants. Those hard-working spiders get a bad rap. While you’re not looking they are often eating the eggs of Japanese Beetles. Who doesn’t want help eliminating them from your garden? Got a beetle problem? Never mind those sprays and bags. When you see a plant fully loaded, just get a bucket half full of warm soapy water. Go outside being brave with a metal long spoon or other object, tap hard on the plant. Use one of those picnic food umbrellas that can be casually put over the plant at first, so when you bang on the plant, they have a ceiling and cannot fly away. They will fall right into your warm soapy water and drown. How about those crazy lady bugs! They love gorging themselves on those destructive aphids. Better let them stay! One of the best bugs to have around is the Praying Mantis, they love eating bugs! Send out an actual invite to them! When trying to invite beneficial bugs into your garden, try growing herbs. Let them flower just a little. The good bugs and bees will be drawn in by them. Once around they will get right to work eating the bad bugs, like they are on duty, then, the bees will stick around and pollinate your gardens. Would you like to repel mosquitoes? Grow Rosemary, Horsemint, Marigolds, Lemon Balm. Ageratum, Citronella, Catnip, Basil, Lemon Thyme and Lavender. I happily have

many of those growing in my gardens or in pots somewhere. So now that you have all those wonderful bugs working for you, helping your garden stay healthy, for free, I might add, let’s look at making it friendly to birds and butterflies and your pets. Does your cat dig up your fresh flower bulbs, or trample your tender young vegetables? Your cat may be guilty of scaring away those beautiful birds and butterflies you are trying to attract, but there is nothing much that can be done about that. But let’s look at the up side of having a cat in your yard. Cats control the presence of moles, mice, rats, and chip monks. Keeping them to a low count is a positive reason to let your cat roam. Keeping them out of your flower and vegetables may be as easy as finding another spot to grow Catnip, where your cat will be more likely to hang out. Just be aware that a few friends from the neighborhood may come visit also! Want beautiful butterflies and birds in your wonderful outdoor space? Try leaving some fallen fruit from your fruit trees to rot. It won’t take many. Or just use the cores from a few eaten pieces of fruit. Leave them in shaded areas, or near hot rocks, mud or in areas with little wind. The butterflies will come! Butterflies, are used to native plants and trees, to your area. They will first use a native tree or shrub to use as a host plant to attach to, then once released as a butterfly, they will be more than happy to flutter around. Attract them also with Lilacs, Black-Eyed Susan, Purple Cone Flowers, Herbs and Zinnia. Want to attract Humming Birds? Well of course there are always those Humming Bird feeders, but I find them to be extra work. Why not grow Petunias, Lantana, Canna Lily, Salvia, and Phlox? These plants will certainly welcome those cool birds to your gardens. They are so much fun to watch! As far as attracting other birds, just be sure to have a source of fresh water, maybe a bird bath, some shelter in the form of ground cover, low plants, shrubs and trees. Although an adult bird needs to feed their baby birds with caterpillars, once an adult, they love eating berries, such as blueberries. When your Black-Eyed Susan’s and Purple Cone Flowers start to lose pedals, keep the heads on. Once the seeds in them dry, birds, such as Finches love to eat the seeds. Now you have it. A garden bug protected, healthy, happy, and friendly, to birds, butterflies, pets and of course you. An environment worth siting in and admiring. Enjoy! Sitting and observing this all in your garden can bring you one of the world’s best gifts for free! Peace of Mind.


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{ mastermindlounge } by ROBERT BRENNA, JR.

AN INTERVIEW WITH SUZI WILLPOWER

What is your musical/ expertise background?

I started singing, and playing music when I was a kid, attending Atkinson School, in Rochester, NY. I have been singing in church since I was a kid, and would sing in All State. I attended College of Marin, in Kentfield, CA, where I fine tuned my vocals

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After that, I immediately started playing in bands. Beforehand, I would only sing solos, trios, quartets, and classical music. My first time as lead singer was with the band Edith Head. My dearly departed friend, Sam LaCara was looking for a vocalist, and I liked what he was writing. We were joined by David Shahin (of Transistor Sky), and Gregory Andrews. Greg, Sam and I, along with Jason Repp started Earl Cram Revue. When my husband joined the band, we renamed it Velveteen Fox. Don and started another band with Greg called Anonymous Willpower, and have the likes of Eric Davidson on bass, and Howard Samuel on guitar. So, for the past 40 years I have been singing, with over 20 of those years singing professionally.

Hynde made me want to play guitar and sing. Alison Moyet helped me to become a blues & electronica singer. Chaka Kahn was the first person I saw on Soul Train- I was a huge fan of that show. More Soul Train than American Bandstand. I prefer being honest from the inside and out.

What or who helped you grow as you learned your craft?

I met Bob Brenna back in 2005, when I was waiting tables at The Rochester Regency Hyatt, in downtown Rochester. He was a lot of fun to speak to, and we became fast friends. It wasn’t until later that he told me he was an attorney. About nine years later, at his office, he was explaining Mastermind to me. I told him that I teach vocals, and stage presence. He had me sit down and think about it, and three years later, here we are!

My sister, Karin Whitney was my inspiration growing up. She studied at Eastman School of Music, and gave me vocal lessons. When I was a kid, my step-dad would play jazz and blues albums, and I would sing to the radio. I picked up guitar when I was eight years old. But singing was my specialty. Singing made me feel special. It made me feel like I could do anything in the world. I also took lessons in high School with Patricia Alexander. She always made me feel amazing.

Who are your heroes, your muses? My heroes continue to inspire me to perform and teach. Peter Murphy from Bauhaus is the first person that comes to mind, then Tim Curry, who has the histrionics of a major performer made me want to be crazy and different. Chrissie

Who am I kidding? The real reason I wanted to perform and sing was because of my sister, Karin Whitney. She is a jazz singer in California. She was my vocal coach. She can always nail Billie Holiday

How did you come to be associated with MasterMind Lounge?

Describe the way you came into teaching and mentoring. Mentoring, in general takes a lot of patience, and understanding from everyone. I am currently working with someone who is auditioning for The Voice. There is a specific set of needs for that amazing, unique opportunity. It’s important to have someone to warn you about the little things, like how you will be in a very set, and boring, environment for four to five hours


{ mastermindlounge }

waiting. Then you will be numbered, and put into lines, split up, then put into another line and this can go on for hours You will run out of water and, if you try to buy it there, you’ll run out of money too. So in that situation it really pays to have someone with patience and specific experience that can give you a broader picture of what awaits you. That’s where a mentor is distinct from just a teacher. I started mentoring kids when my daughter started attending School Without Walls. I was asked to become an expert mentor for kids who played music. I started teaching acoustic guitar. Idonia Owens gave me her instruction papers from when she used to teach music at SWW. Then , I was asked to teach percussion, piano, and vocal lessons. After SWW, I became a mentor/teacher for kids at Girls Rock! Rochester. I really enjoy watching people’s reactions when they “get it”. What teaching methods and styles do you hope to bring to MasterMind Lounge users? I hope to bring ease and skill to Mastermind Lounge users. When I acquire a new student, I always like to find out what type of learning style they have. Are they visual, aural, or verbal? Do they learn quicker with hands on training? Or are they mathematical thinkers? Do they like to work in a group setting? Or do they prefer to study on their own? I am a visual, aural, and physical learner. I need to see hear, and do, to understand what I’m learning. I want students to feel Comfortable. I am excited to get to use new technology to ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ mastermindlounge } “I started mentoring kids when my daughter started attending School Without Walls. I was asked to become an expert mentor for kids who played music. I started teaching acoustic guitar.”

s waiting. Then you will be numbered, and put into lines, split up, then put into another line and this can go on for hours You will run out of water and, if you try to buy it there, you’ll run out of money too. So in that situation it really pays to have someone with patience and specific experience that can give you a broader picture of what awaits you. That’s where a mentor is distinct from just a teacher. I started mentoring kids when my daughter started attending School Without Walls. I was asked to become an expert mentor for kids who played music. I started teaching acoustic guitar. Idonia Owens gave me her instruction papers from when she used to teach music at SWW. Then , I was asked to teach percussion, piano, and vocal lessons. After SWW, I became a mentor/teacher for kids at Girls Rock! Rochester. I really enjoy watching people’s reactions when they “get it”.

What teaching methods and styles do you hope to bring to MasterMind Lounge users? I hope to bring ease and skill to Mastermind Lounge users. When I acquire a new student, I always like to find out what type of learning style they have. Are they visual, aural, or verbal? Do they learn quicker with hands on training? Or are they 226

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mathematical thinkers? Do they like to work in a group setting? Or do they prefer to study on their own? I am a visual, aural, and physical learner. I need to see hear, and do, to understand what I’m learning. I want students to feel Comfortable.

I am excited to get to use new technology to make this happen. My hope is to continue to pick up on what each student needs even though we’re hundreds, maybe thousands, of miles apart. It’s a really exciting time.

What advice can you give to those hoping to learn more about getting ahead in music? Be yourself. If you really want to get ahead at music, you need to take at least half an hour a day on your craft. Scales, and rhythm are so important in any instrument that uses musical notation. If you are a singer, stay away from dairy, eat a healthy diet, exercise an hour per day, and drink PLENTY of water. When you’re ready, find people that really connect with you, that have been where you want to go, and draw on their experience. That’s never been easier than it is now with MasterMind Lounge. Be sure to check us out at www. mastermindlounge.com


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{ law forum with bob brenna }

And You Swore You Would Never Wear A Tie... by ROBERT L. BRENNA, JR.

I called my daughter, who graduated from Park School of Communication at Ithaca College, to let her know I had been asked to do this column, rather than just the radio spots or interviews I had done for years. I needed advice. How do I get started, now that I’ve been thinking about it for weeks? What should I write about for my first column? It’s a strange feeling when you realize that you are at a point in life when you ask your kid for advice.

in a hospital’s psych department. I moved to Boston and lived in what was politely called a neighborhood that was being “re-gentrified.” I was supposedly playing in a band for a living, but that barely bought food. I also worked at Massachusetts Rehab Hospital, at one of the country’s first pain clinics, lived in a brownstone with my dog and a few college buddies, and tried to sort it all out. I worked my rent down to $25 a month by helping to rehab the brownstone.

As usual, she was great. “Just write about yourself, Dad. Let it be an introduction, so your readers will know who you are. People take more interest in reading about what someone has to say when they know more about the author as a person.” Sage advice. “Tell them you weren’t sure you wanted to be a lawyer when you were in college at Syracuse, and that you swore you would never wear a tie. I always get a kick out of that.” She always found that ironic. Even though I’ve always loved the law, what it stands for, how it empowers me to help others and all the law can accomplish, there was a point in my life when I would have laughed at anyone who told me that I would someday have a closet full of courtroom attire.

After a while, music became like a job and

Especially ties ! Before going to law school, I was a drummer, because that was what I loved. I was studying psych and pre-med, and toying with all kinds of ideas about my life. My first job was working in a small electronics assembly plant. I did everything from beginning to end of production.After a while, I found work 228

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If only everything were that straightforward and black and white now. After the age of five, things became increasingly complicated. But, there is comfort in knowing that the next generation is there for me. My wife and I joke about the fact that the geography and history lobes of my brain never developed to the point of being even marginally functional. Luckily, my son knows more about when and which civilizations flourished over another, what battles led to the language and cultural changes on most of the globe, and many obscure facts the busy workday seems to keep me from learning. I love the law. I love the fact that when the weight of the world is on someone’s back, they turn to me, out of all the people on the entire planet, to help make it right and to seek justice in an unjust world. But, at the end of it all, when I try to sort it all out — which I still occasionally have to do — it’s a strange feeling asking your kids for advice.

I started yearning for school again. Even if I wasn’t going to practice, I knew I wanted to go to law school. I knew I needed the intellectual challenge. Although I’m only 28, this coming May will mark 40 years since I graduated from law school. When I was four or five years old, life was easy. I knew I was going to be a lawyer, and there were no doubts. In fact, when my cousin asked if I wanted to be an alter boy when I got older, I started crying and said “No. I want to be a lawyer like my Daddy.”

Robert L. Brenna Jr. is a partner in the Rochester law firm of Brenna, Brenna & Boyce PLLC, which his father founded. He serves on the board of directors for the New York State Trial Lawyers Association and concentrates his practice in the areas of estates and trusts, medial malpractice and personal injury. Brenna also hosts a popular Sunday morning radio program entitled “The Brenna & Brenna Law Forum,” on WHAM 1180 AM. ‘


The B r enna B oyc e Team pr oudl y s uppor ts the Roc hes ter Mus ic Hal l of Fame! PERSONAL INJURY I BUSINESS & ESTATE LITIGATION I MEDICAID PLANNING PROBATE I PROTECTING OUR BILL OF RIGHTS & MILITARY LAW I WILLS & TRUSTS

Law Forum Radio Show Sundays 8 - 9AM

2016

Experienced, Effective, and Smart. Personal Injury | Business and Estate Litigation | Medicaid Planning Probate | Military and Security Clearances | Second Amendment Law

Brenna Boyce PLLC


{ it’s a rw secret }

Date Adventure Canandaigua Wine Walk by CASSONDRA KUBIT

Once again Mike and I searched high and low for the perfect Date Night activity. We were lucky enough to come across the Canandaigua Wine Walk in our travels through wine country. We love wine and enjoy doing wine trails. The Canandaigua Wine Walk is held every first Saturday of the month rain, shine, or snow.

As we know that we have 4 rules for date night: • No Dinner • No Bars • No Movies • A N D N O CELLPHONES ALLOWED! It is hard to find different things to do as adults who are dating that don’t involve all the above. It has become socially acceptable to call Date Night going to the movies where you have no interaction with the person sitting next to you, or going to a bar where it is hard to talk with the person next to you because of the noise level, and going out to eat, which is something we have to do every day anyways. On top of all of that we have become so attached to our cellphones that we are unable to put them down even when we are with other people. If you look around anywhere you go I bet at least 50% of 230

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the people are on their cellphone at all times. When Cellphones are allowed on Date Night it takes away from enjoying the person you are with and with those around you. When we were doing in the Canandaigua Wine Walk I didn’t see a single person on their cellphones. The setup of this event was perfect. The Canandaigua Wine Walk involved multiple wineries, foodies and local shops. They set up 11 different stations each

sitting in a different shop along South Main Street and some of the side streets. There is plenty of parking throughout the area which is nice. They had a main start spot where you get a wrist band, a map and a wine glass all for $8 a piece (you can bring a wine glass from previous wine walks and save a dollar). We felt like we were on a treasure hunt looking for each location. The map had 11 stops, but there were other shops (the artisan shops) that were also getting involved with the walk trying to sell their wares. We started our treasure hunt with Simply Crepes where we got to taste test Hosmer Winery and some powdery goodness. We got to taste test Hickory Hollow winery at Casa de Pasta. We taste tested Buttonwood Winery at Flavors Restaurant, the ended up running out of wine by the end. We enjoyed my favorite winery Torey Ridge Winery at Olde Homestead Country Store where there were also sampling fudge. We all know that wine and chocolate go hand and hand. Torey Ridge is two wineries in one. There is the Redneck winery and then you have the meadery and cidery. If you like honey wines or hard cider this is the place to visit. They are located on the Seneca Wine Trail right down the street from Bellhurst Castle.


As we made our way through the trail we were surprised at how many people were there. There were lines at each place wanting to try out the different wines and food. It was fun to chat with people about the different wineries and looking at all of the different stuff. We came across a tea shop, Good Life Tea, and they were sampling their teas, fell in love with their Cinnamon tea and had to buy some. They had a yummy pastry shop also sampling their cakes. Great pairing with the tea. There was live music on the local stage on South Main Street where we met the Cotton Candy guy. He was having some issues with the rain and wind but in very good spirits. We were going to save the cotton candy for later but we ate it. Drinking wine on an empty stomach not the best choice. 232

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We went on the hunt for the food venders and we came across Arbor Hill at Jeanne Beck Art Gallery, this one was a bit hard to find because it was tucked up on the 2nd floor, but was well worth the hunt. If you ever get down to the Arbor Hill winery on Keuka Lake you have to stop and eat at Arbor Hill. They have great sausages made with their own wines, and make sure you order the German Potato Salad!! This was to die for. We came across Castle Grisch Winery at Lake Land & Sea. They had a great selection of wines and they gave ot free passes to do a wine tasting at their winery, which of course we will be frequenting in the near future. Mike fell in love with their Baco Noir, which is a red dry wine. Definitely a dinner wine. We also tried Apple Country Spirits at Pickering Pub. Apple Country Spirits has a wide range

of spirits, wines and ciders. They have a dry hard cider that is very good and flavorful. They also have this tart cherry wine that is delicious. When we were finished with our Wine Walk we ended back up at Simple Crepe’s to listen to the live Jazz Music that they were having and of course we had to have a desert crepe with strawberries and their sweet cream that I can never duplicate when I make crepes at home. In Mike’s words he would do this again. He enjoyed this the most out of everything that we have done so far in our Secret Shopping Date Nights. The next Canandaigua Wine Walk is Saturday September 2nd starting at 4pm. Hope to see you there.


{ it’s a rw secret } As we made our way through the trail we were surprised at how many people were there. There were lines at each place wanting to try out the different wines and food. It was fun to chat with people about the different wineries and looking at all of the different stuff.

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: may 2017

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{ special feature }

Dana M. A Young A Woman’s Journey by CHERYL KATES-BENMAN, esq.

Dana M., gradated high school, attended college and raised a family like most women choose to do. She worked full-time as a case manager. As a single-mother of two children, Dana struggled at times but they always made it through. One day, everything changed. Dana was 29-years-old. She was faced with a decision of whether to undergo a double mastectomy or live in fear she would die at a young age. This is her journey. Dana suffers from Cowden’s Syndrome. This is a complex genetic disorder predisposing an individual to certain types of cancers and causes non-cancerous tumor-like growths (hamartomas) (1). Most people learn of Cowden’s when they find a tumor on a

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mucous membrane or the skin. (1). The tumors show up by the late twenties (1). Of concern with Cowden’s Syndrome is the pre-disposure to certain cancers such as breast, thyroid, renal and uterine cancer (1). The onset of the cancer begins in the 30’s or 40’s. (1). This disease affects 1 in 200,000 people (1). Dana’s strain of Cowden’s involves a change in the PTEN gene (1). There is a genetic indicator (1). Dana’s father died of colon cancer when he was 37. Her sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at 33. Angelina Jolie, suffered from BRCA, which is a similar genetic condition. Cowden’s is more complex as it involves multiple systems in the body. In Dana’s case, she went for a physical

and her blood test results revealed she may suffer from Cowden’s. After having testing, it was discovered she did have pre-cancerous cysts. Dana learned through genetic testing, she would suffer an 85% chance of suffering breast cancer. The only preventative treatment to ensure she would be okay was to undergo a double mastectomy. This is what she did. For Dana, undergoing a mastectomy at such a young age was very difficult. She was diagnosed October 3, 2016. By May 15, 2017, she was scheduled for dual mastectomies. She went through a very strange emotional process in accepting her body image. The surgery leaves many scars. She also suffered hematomas and


skin necrosis. Dealing with the traumas she endured after the surgery took a toll on her overall well-being. She will now have to undergo colonoscopies, endometrial sampling and ultrasounds annually. As the healing process began, things began to even out. She was given an immediate reconstructive procedure after surgery. The implants are very hard. Dana now has limited feeling in her breasts. She also does not have any nipples. She indicates she must undergo having the implants filled to allow the skin to stretch. Her first fill will take place in June. Her implants are filled with air. They are very hard and she is unable to sleep on her stomach or side. Once the breast implants are filled to the size wanted, Dana will undergo a second surgery. A softer implant will be placed. She will still have to undergo testing for the rest of her life, as there is still a small chance she may develop cancer in any remaining breast tissue.

Dana indicates although going through this process was scary, it was something she would do again if she had to. The risk of cancer was so high had she not undergone the procedure her life would be consumed with fear. Despite the personal, emotional struggles and disgust she had during the process because of then negative body images, she was strong and made it through the storm. The skin necrosis involved her breast area under the implant. The necrosis was an area where the skin died and turned black. It was very painful and her breasts appeared distorted. Dana still despite undergoing this extreme procedure is a mother and worked fulltime. She took a leave of absence from work in May but will return on the 10th of July. She also is participating in a research study through the Cleveland Clinic. The purpose of the study is to document the lifetime cancer risks for individuals with germline PTEN mutations. The study will assist doctors in developing cancer

risk assessment and management. Dana says the beginning portion of this journey was very upsetting and involved the fear of the unknown. ‘This is something you must take very seriously as it will kill you if you don’t. If because of fear you ignore doing preventative measures, you could end up losing your life. My father was not aware of his condition and he was dead by the age of 37. Genetic testing saves lives�. Dana M. is a woman who inspires. She is a warrior. She despite her fears, did what was necessary to save her life. Rochester Woman salutes you. Resources 1. Cowden Syndrome (2017). US National Library of Medicine. Retrieved July 2, 2017 from https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov


{ special feature } As the healing process began, things began to even out. She was given an immediate reconstructive procedure after surgery. The implants are very hard. Dana now has limited feeling in her breasts.

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Work-Life Balance Panel Discussion

Hyatt Regency Rochester 124 East Main Street Rochester, NY 14604 September 14 5:30 - 8:30 pm Join us and Visit Rochester for a thought provoking discussion on the challenges and rewards of finding a worklife balance with the demands of a professional career. Each panelist will speak to one aspect of work-life balance as it relates directly to them: Maggie Brooks, Vice President at Rochester-Genesee Regional Transportation Authority and former Monroe County Executive, will talk about balancing her public life with her private life.

Jennifer Johnson, Morning News Anchor and Reporter at WHAM13-TV, will share her perspective as a working mom to a medically fragile child before she passed away and then share how she navigated balancing her needs while working through her grief.

Cassandra Rich, partner in Boylan Code's Commercial Lending & Real Estate Group, will share the path she has chosen and the sacrifices she has made to pursue her career goals.

Together, the panelists will be covering five topics relative to maintaining a work-life and allowing for questions throughout: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Managing your time Enjoying weekends and vacation Building in downtime into your schedule - taking time for you Removing activities that add no value Exercise and relaxation By attending this event, you will be entered into a drawing for some great prizes. The grand prize is one weekend night overnight stay and breakfast for two at the Hyatt Rochester. Other prizes include $250.00 gift certificates (one each) from Char, Good Luck, Del Monte Spa and Geva Theatre and five $25.00 Starbucks gift certificates. You must be present to win!

This event was made possible, in part, with a grant from the TMA Global Chapter Resource and Response Committee (CRRC).

TO REGISTER: visit www.turnaround.org/upstateNY and use discount code CF7, or contact the chapter office via email at upstateNY@turnaround.org or call (716) 440-6615.


{ all women rock }

All Women Rock Out With ASSUNTA CONYERS by tonya cornelius

Assunta Wilson is a celebrated unsung hero in the Rochester community. The entrepreneur behind B. Renewed LLC, Assunta is a pioneer in the field of restoring hair using holistic practices. The concept behind her products and philosophy of the company focuses on discovering the root of any hair problems and addressing the problem directly instead of symptom treating. Healing the scalp, restoring hair from damage and recovering the loss the client experienced is the focus of services. Assunta entered this field after experiencing her own issues with hair loss. After the birth of her first son, she herself experienced severe hair loss at the temples and crown. She recalls learning hair loss was often associated with hormonal changes but her experience sparked her desire to learn more. The experience for a woman is devastating and going through it made Assunta want to be part of the solution for other women. Assunta began her journey by obtaining her hair loss practitioner certification. She also decided to go natural with her own hair. She shared her experience with You Tube and after seeing the amount of viewers interested in the topic and reading their responses, Assunta knew how important this issue was to society and women experiencing the same dilemma. Hair loss was a silent but deadly killer to self-image and self-esteem causing women to experience negative feelings about themselves. B-Renewed offers a holistic hair loss prevention program which treats the mind and body naturally but in a holistic fashion. The services offered range from scalp treatments, laser scalp massages and hair loss treatment systems that include daily use shampoo, conditioners, supplements and sprays. The company also discovers a protective style for the client to wear while 240

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we treat the hair. This is very important because looking good brings healing and restoration to self-esteem. Prior to any service, a microscopic scalp analysis and consultation is completed. This allows B-Renewed to see the client’s scalp magnified and determines the root cause of their hair loss. Assunta Wilson attributes her success to her solutionist mind-set. She keeps the problems her clients face before her and remains determined to solve their issue. Innovation comes naturally to her and her success is fueled by becoming the answer to her client’s problem. Distinguishing her company from others comes easy to her because she offers her client’s a holistic approach which provides them with more than a service and a product but an overall solution. The clients receive constant encouragement and someone that truly understands the issue of hair loss. The consultation deals with the matters of each individual’s process and the matters of heart they face. Assunta seeks for each person to leave feeling secure and strong in confidence they are a beautiful woman regardless of the challenges they face as a woman experiencing hair loss. B.Renewed seeks to expand in the future with a line of extraordinary hair loss solution products including wigs specially made to stimulate hair growth when worn. Assunta envisions facilitating trichology courses and one day having a platform to allow women to share their battles with hair loss televising it for the world to see! Assunta sees herself as a revolutionary! Assunta indicates this field is an evergrowing area and although she has vast experience and certification, there are still things she does not know. Her biggest issue is when a client presents and she doesn’t

know the exact answer. Hair loss comes in every shape and form. Each case presents a challenge to research and analyze things to find that individual an answer. Constant education/training and research is essential. With any start-up business, the first year feels more like a loss than a profit. It can become challenging and discouraging when we always as a society, begin to measure success on instant gratification. Assunta learned to count costs and to be patient with the growth process. Entrepreneurship is not always easy. B-Renewed prides itself on providing one-on-one service in a clinic style setting. Many clients indicate the biggest challenge is walking into the clinic to obtain services. The first step is showing the practitioner the hair loss. It is very embarrassing to show someone else your hair when you have experienced hair loss with bald spots etc. Assunta believes her personal service is the highlights of the service. The motto Assunta lives by,” Live Life on Purpose with Purpose!” All Women Rock Salutes Assunta Conyers! Assunta will receive the “Rising Star” award. She is viewed as a woman who is fearless, health-oriented and persistent in helping women achieve their goals with the treatment of hair disease. She was born with a purpose to uplift and empower women struggling to find their self-worth while suffering a traumatic issue affecting their self-esteem and personal beauty. As a rising star, Assunta used her own struggle which she overcame, obtained further education on the issue and then used those experiences to help and empower women. Assunta Conyers is an inspiring woman.


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{ the truth about hair }

A LITTLE HAIR ORIGAMI... by blake dufault

“Origami is about working cleanly and precisely: crisp folds, placed just right,” said Mitchell. “The same goes for coloring hair—but it’s not just about sharp lines. If you’ve mastered your craft, even when you use a more organic technique, there is a precision of intention. Origami teaches us this: if you practice your craft with excellence, it rises to the level of an art.” -Angus Mitchell, CoOwner and Artistic Director of Education Paul Mitchell.

At HUE Salons, we were inspired by this Origami collection from Paul Mitchell. We wanted to show Rochester, NY the creative process behind the scenes.

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How can we show this 5 hour process in 20 minutes? Think cooking show. Prior to showtime, the HUE Salons Artistic Team tackled this daunting task. Modelsarrived at HUE Salons, 100 Marketplace Drive at 2pm. They pre-set their “Chopstick” model, and completed 80% of her makeup. So Chloe, their Makeup Specialist and CAO Cosmetic Brand Ambassador, could finish the “Geometric” makeup application and style the set on stage. The entire team completed the makeup on the rest of the models. They had their Color Specialist Amy, complete 80% of her models color placement as well. She completed this look on stage and the result was a beautiful Origami shape built out of foil. Blake, Artistic

Director of HUE Salons, prepped his models hair using a “Bobby-Pin” set and teased it out completely. This resulted in a “Cotton Candy” look that Blake cut on stage. Blake placed a Japanese rice straw hat over his models hair and cut the remaining hair below the hat, with clippers! The result was a gorgeous bob shape with incredible texture. Blake also prepped 80% of his other model with folded Origami paper to lock in “FOLDS” or “CREASES” as you could see completed on stage and on the two statue models. What a celebration of ART and HAIR through ORIGAMI. If you missed this amazing show performed by HUE Salons, follow them on social media @ welovehuesalons or #welovehuesalons for a video of the show. Stay TUNED!


{ the best you }

LETS FACE IT... by Christine Buff, LE, CPLC

Let’s face it… we’re not getting any younger. Certain circumstances like our hormones, the food we consume that may contain harmful preservatives, pesticides, artificial sugars and colors. In addition, our lives can be full of stressful situations and events. Our air contains more pollutants, change of seasons, etc. All of these can contribute to harming your skin in one way or another from the outside in or visa versa. So why do so many people feel that visiting a licensed Esthetician is just a luxury and not a necessity these days? Let’s look at this way, sure you will feel relaxed, pampered and spoiled during your facial service, but remember, the facial process as well as the professional products used also contain the most beneficial ingredients to help provide the best treatment for your skin type. However, facials are really much more than that; they are a necessity for the health of your skin for cell renewal, collagen and elastin growth also as well as many additional benefits as well. I am often asked why can’t I buy skin care products at the store and are they the same as what you are using? As a licensed Esthetician, I purchase products that can only be purchased through suppliers that only supply licensed Esthetician’s with their products. The reason for this is to make sure they only contain the most proven non-harmful and healthiest ingredients available. One should treat their skin just 244

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as important as exercising and eating healthy. Facials are much more than an hour of indulgent pampering. They have enormous benefits to the health and wellness of your skin both in the short and long term. Everyone can benefit from a facial, men, women, and teenagers alike. Our skin is the largest organ of our body, but is also delicate, and when not taken care of properly, it can be harmed. It contains numerous cells that should be exfoliated each month for cell turnover in which new ones will grow. Our skin also contains many layers and barriers for our protection. Receiving monthly facials by a trained, licensed Esthetician is important to enhancing the health and wellness of skin and also for a fresh and rejuvenating feeling. It’s a great feeling when others notice and compliment healthy skin on another person when they know healthy skin care is given and received. There are those who do not feel it necessary to

see an Esthetician for regular care and think home care only is enough. Let’s look at it this way, you brush and floss your teeth at least 2 times a day, but you still need to see a Dentist twice a year for maximum health of your teeth and gums. An individual needs regular visits to their Esthetician. Licensed Estheticians have all you need for your facial services in their treatment room. In my treatment room this includes steamers, FDA cleared equipment, beneficial products, education (which is continuous for research and current trainings) for the wellness and individualistic treatments for any skin type. A licensed Esthetician will educate you on your skin type with skin analysis and all you need in and out of the treatment room with your home care. A home regimen is important in between skin care visits to get the best and most effective results. A facial consists of many steps in the treatment room. Your visit will start with a consultation and consent form to get to know who you are and answer any questions that you or the Esthetician may have. After changing into the facial gown wrap, you will then be asked to get into the bed where you will experience a heated mattress and the sound of relaxing music, and the scent of relaxing


RWO and Rochester Drinks want to encourage you to look beyond lawnmower beer, summer ales, and malt beverages to expertly crafted cocktails and tiki inspire concoctions. Summer is a time for rum, gin, and of course vodka.


Our skin is the largest organ of our body, but is also delicate, and when not taken care of properly, it can be harmed. It contains numerous cells that should be exfoliated each month for cell turnover in which new ones will grow. music, and the scent of relaxing essential oils. The facial will last approximately an hour and will consist of double cleansing, skin analysis, exfoliation, facial massage, application of masque that depending on client may include a shoulder massage. We will conclude the facial with nutritional serums, moisturizer and SPF to meet your skin’s needs. You will be educated about your skin and the best home care regimen to maintain your skin’s wellness as well as scheduling your next appointment. Regular visits will ensure the wellness and health of your skin, and eliminate any dull, uneven, or dry skin, and to enhance any added absorption of products to result in radiant, glowing skin. Facial upgrades are another great way to get the most out of an appointment. They can range from adding a Chemical Peel and Microdermabrasion, to Radio Frequency to tighten and tone your skin and rebuild Collagen and Elastin. LED (Light Emitted Diode) are great for anti-aging, destroying bacteria under 246

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the skin (which may result in acne), lighten the skin due to hyperpigmentation and also even out the skin tone. What is stopping you from receiving all offered and getting your skin looking its best and to its ultimate wellness? If you still have any doubts or questions, I am here as a Licensed Esthetician and Certified Life Coach to help you through it. When you look in to a mirror, we want you to see the difference we know you will see from receiving a facial or series of facials, and regaining the health, wellness and confidence in your own skin. It’s going to be one of the first things others will notice about you, so why not be comfortable in your own skin knowing that you are on the right journey to reversing any discomforting visual signs that make you insecure of your skin. Keep in Mind that our skin changes with the seasons also, and has different needs based on the oncoming season, with humidity, temperature, hours of sunlight, etc. A facial can be personalized to restore the

wellness of your skin based on a particular season, whether prepping your skin for winter, restoring moisture from the frigid temperatures, to reversing the signs of sun damage that can occur from the hot summer sun. Effective facials will give you immediate results and a more youthful, radiant glow. Allow the Esthetician to help with all of your skincare needs, especially if in doubt on how to treat a condition such as Milia which should never be treated by anyone other than a Licensed professional. Please address and contact me with any questions that you may have to:christinebuff@frontiernet. net, or text them to 585-298-6618, or make an appointment with The Best You Spa located in Webster, NY. Together let’s make your Skinmmitment journey to wellness and allow me to help you to be The Best You that you deserve!


The Best You...Believe it, Achieve it!

Enjoy A 10% OFF A FACIAL at the Best You Spa!

847 Ridge Road I Webster, NY 14580 I 585- 298-6618 I www.cmbthebestyou.com


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S


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{ you don’t know my story } BY emma cooksey

You Don’t Know My Story

“You Don’t Know My Story “is devoted to the development, rehabilitation and overall progrression of the homeless. I strive to contributie to the daily wellness and awarness of such individuals.

“You Don’t Know My Story “is devoted to the development, rehabilitaion and overall progrression of the homeless. I strive to contributie to the daily wellness and awarness of such individuals. “You dont know my story” is a project that focusses on providing direction , and giving hope through simple acts of compassion. Talking to the homeless, I learned that they are so use to there ways and its all they know. I seek to let them know that there is more and sucess is an achievable goal. I created “you dont know my story” T-shirts to raise awanrness and give people an understanding and help them see that they are more than just homelesss but survivors with storys to tell. On this journey I met a survivor named Donald. He has been homeless for almost two years. I met him as I was exiting a store when he asked for spare change. He needeed money for neosporin. I was with a friend and she suggested I ask him about his life and how he became homelsss: That was the beginning of “You dont know my story.” He was living with his mom and step dad until his step dad no longer wanted him living with them, so they kicked him out.

his finger whre he he really needed the money for it. Yes for some drugs and alcohol may be a factor but we have to understand that some become hopeless and they grasp on to whatever makes them feel better to cope. We must not judge, but come up woth a soulution to end this cycle. They just need to be loved and showed that there are people out there who care. A simple smile can change ones whole day. Since starting the initiitive, one of the gentlemen have checked into a rehabilitation center. All is not lost, and all it took was simple acts of epmphathy.I hope this will open your eyes and give you a whole new outlook of the homeless. Im hoping to bring in others to help fight the fight with these men and women.

This led him to go to the Open Door Mission but was only allowed to stay for a short period of time, so he now lives behind a dumpster. Most people think when there giving money to the homeless that they are using it for drugs alcohol but he showed me a gash on ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ financial literacy with frank }

Bucket Budgeting 101 by frank randall

Introductions first, I am Frank Randall a Branch Manager at Citizens Bank here in Rochester on Winton Rd. One of the things that I am passionate about is promoting financial literacy. That covers many different topics from; budgeting basics, saving for a home purchase, retirement, and refinancing debt etc… I am honored to be going on this journey with you as a 10 part series on financial literacy over the next few months!

Budgeting 101

What is the first word that comes to mind when you see the word ‘Budget’? For some people it can be fear, anxiety, simple, smart, or confusing. For me, empowerment comes to mind. Having a monthly budget gives me the power to control my finances to accomplish the goals I have set out for myself. So, logically the next question is what is a budget? A budget is a blue print for spending and saving that helps you take control of your finances. Creating a personalized budget tailored for you can equate with the priorities in your life. For some, that may mean to spend within your means, maintain good credit, save for emergencies and retirement, or to obtain financial freedom from debt. According to a 2013 Gallup pool, only 32% of Americans 250

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put together a budget each month to track income and expenses and just 30% have a long-term financial plan laying out savings and investment goals. Before we cover what the 5 easy steps are to build a budget keep this quote in mind from Dave Ramsey “Financial peace isn’t the acquisition of stuff. Its learning to live on less than you make, so you can give money back and havae money to invest. You can’t win until you do this”

The five simple steps that we will cover on how to build a budget are: 1) Assess Your Financial Situation 2) Set Financial Goals 3) Build Your Budget 4)Use Credit Wisely 5)Stick to Your Budget

Step one: Assess your financial situation

to build a working budget. This is the easiest step, just simply record all of your income on a monthly basis on an after-tax basis, also referred to as your take home pay. This is the “money in” category. Next, start a list of all your expenses, this includes required bills and costs of living such as food, entertainment, gas, and so on.

Step Two:

Determine what your financial goals are and then categorizing them between short-term and long-term goals. Some examples of common short-term goals are vacation, new home purchase, marriage, less debt, or eating out. Longer t e r m g o a l s a re usually comfortable retirement, protection for family, college, or a vacation home. Step two is the most important step in my


It is our job to monitor these early dating relationships and make sure they are safe. It’s important to recognize that intimate relationships at any age exist on a continuum. The best relationships are healthy and feature: mutual respect, a spirit of cooperation and support, the ability to navigate conflict, and consent.

opinion because the purpose of a budget is to accomplish set goals, without defined goals the budget falls apart.

Step three: Build the budget and to

put it into practice. By this point, you have all the information on your income and expenses and you know what we want to save for! One of the most effective ways to build a budget is using the ‘bucket budget model’. This I where you break your budget down into three buckets; a working account, a spending account, and a leftover savings account. A simple way to do this is to have two checking accounts and one

savings account to help separate the ‘buckets’. This is something that I personally do and has helped me get out of debt, here is how it works. I have one account for all the money coming in which includes my paychecks along with any extra income that I receive. This way, I have created an easy tracking system using my bank statement and online app to understand my total income. I use this account for my dedicated bills like rent, car, and utilities. Then I have a second checking account that is specifically for spending money on entertainment, food, and fun. This second account is what I have

my debit card linked to as I should only be using it for sporadic purchases. Finally, I have a savings account where I put money away for those long-term goals. By separating the accounts, it gives me control of what money I have and how quickly I can save. The first thing I do is always put money towards my savings, it’s important to pay yourself first. Something as little as $40 dollars a week adds up to over $2,000 a year! Then after I put some of my savings away, I look at what required bills I need to pay that week (or month). These are the required


things like rent and insurance that I use my working account for. Lastly, the money that is left over I transfer to my spending account for the week. The reason why it is advised to have a dedicated spending account is that it makes it easier to track how much money I spend (instead of it being mixed in with other activity) and to help protect my money in the event of fraud. If I ever lost my debit card or had my information compromised, the bulk of my money would be in the other two accounts. This is what having the debit card tied to only your spending account is prudent. Any money left over that isn’t spent can be used towards next week budget or moved into savings. Here is an example of what it look like in action: Now, that we have basics mapped out we can finish with the last two steps using credit wisely and sticking to your budget.

Step four: Use your credit wisely,

which carries a significant amount of impact throughout our financial lives. There are two sources that can be used to monitor your credit score for free and to examine all the details of the report. First, www.annualcreditreport.com, allows any American to access their full credit 252

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report from one of the major bureaus once a year. That mean you can get a full credit report from Transunion in January, Experian in May, and Equifax in September. This way you will be able to see full details on your report like who is making inquiries, if you have any delinquent or outstanding accounts, and even giving you options on how to dispute anything that look incorrect. Secondly, using www.creditkarma. com (they also have a user-friendly smartphone app) will give you two of your credit scores. It’s important to note that scores always vary and change frequently, so if you see different numbers, don’t panic that’s normal. There are six credit factors that play a role in your score; what balances your carry, how many delinquent marks, payment history, total accounts, age of credit history, and the amount of hard credit inquires. Making sure to pay your bills on time and avoiding credit late fees is one of the most important responsibilities of building good credit. Paying at least the minimum each month and only making purchases you can pay back on time are best practices as well. When looking at how much debt you have, because most people have some debt one way or another, it is important to know the interest rates you pay and to know what options you have to

lower those payments. One suggestion is to take out a Personal Loan or Home Equity Line of Credit to pay off credit cards with high interest rates. Credit card debt usually carries high interest rates near 20%, if you can move that debt to a personal loan or a home loan you can potentially cut those interest rates by at least half!

Step five: Stick to your budget. Remember

you have taken all this time to assess your situation, set financial goals, build the actual budget, and learned how to use your credit wisely – now you must stick to the budget you have set for yourself. Committing to your budget and putting it into practice may take some time getting used to but it will pay off in the end. The budget doesn’t have to be something set in stone, and it can change from month to month as needs and your financial situation changes. There is an element of trial and error of figuring it all out. That’s why it is important to update you budget when goals, income, expenses, or life events changes things. Lastly, understand that once in a while you will go outside your budget and that’s okay! But having the knowledge and discipline to create and stick to a budget is the first step to financial freedom.


You can earn a $150 bonus by opening your first new personal checking account with us by 9/1/17. Just make a single direct deposit of at least $500 that posts to the new account within 60 days.1

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To qualify for the $150 bonus you must open your first new personal checking account between 7/29/17 and 9/1/17 and have at least 1 single direct deposit of $500 or more post to your new checking account within 60 days of account opening. Primary signer on the new checking account may not be or have been a primary or secondary signer on any personal checking account within the previous six months. Offer only available in select branches. The new account must be open and in good standing to qualify for this offer. Offer may be withdrawn without notice and cannot be combined with any other checking offer. $150 Bonus will be deposited into your qualifying checking account within 90 days after the first qualified direct deposit has posted and will be labeled as “Balance Builder Bonus.” One bonus per customer. Bonus will be reported to the IRS. Variable-rate Annual Percentage Yield (APY) for Checking with Interest varies by account and tier. For example, as of 6/26/17, APY by tier for Personal Checking with Interest is: 0.01% for $25+, $2,500+, $10,000+, $25,000+, $50,000+, $75,000+. Minimum opening balance of any amount. Fees may reduce earnings. Rates may change after account opening.

1

Member FDIC. Accounts, services subject to approval. Fees, policies and prices subject to change. Citizens Bank is a brand name of Citizens Bank, N.A. and Citizens Bank of Pennsylvania. © 2017 Citizens Financial Group, Inc. All rights reserved.

606855 BW


{ A FEW MORTGAGE TIPS }

Mortgage Loan FAQs: Closing Costs by PHYLLIS HABERER

When you plan to purchase a home, the cost of the house itself is not all you need to budget for. In addition to moving and renovation costs, various expenses will come up during the closing of the sale—when the title of the home is transferred from the seller to the buyer. It may seem complicated, but Phyllis Haberer at Premium Mortgage Corporation will help you understand the ins and outs of your mortgage loan.

FAQs About Your Mortgage Loan Closing Costs 1. What Do Closing Costs Involve? Closing costs include various fees related to transferring a home’s title and completing loan paperwork. These fees include (but are not limited to) the following: • Attorney fees • Appraisal fee • Application fee • Escrow fee (also known as the “closing fee”) • Credit report fee • H o m e inspection fees • Insurance fees • Mortgage loan premiums and prepaid interest fees • Property tax and title transfer taxes

• Underwriting fee

2. How Much Does It All Cost?

The exact cost will vary depending on the price of the home, the amount of outside help involved, and your mortgage loan details. Generally speaking, most closing costs come to about 2–5% of the overall purchase price.

3. Is There a Way to Avoid Closing Costs?

You can save on closing costs if your loan officer offers a “no closing cost” mortgage plan, but the mortgage rates themselves may be higher in the long run. Other times, the seller may absorb the closing fees, but this might result in a higher overall cost for the home. Talk to your loan officer about

your financial situation to figure out what kind of mortgage loan and payment plan will work best for you. When you’re ready to learn more about securing a mortgage plan, call Phyllis Haberer at Premium Mortgage Corporation: 1 (585) 314-8511. You can also email her: phyllis@ premiummortgage.com Phyllis Haberer Senior Loan Officer | NMLS# 58078 2541 Monroe Avenue, Rochester, NY 14618 (585) 241-0000 NMLS #3254 Equal Housing Lender Licensed Mortgage Banker NYSDFS


Home is where your story begins... Let us help you write the First Chapter The Local Expert in Home Financing

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2016

Senior Loan Officer | NMLS# 58078

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{ everyday push }

How do your arms measure up on the wave scale? by kit teresi

Have you ever waived to someone and felt the back of your upper arm continue to waive even after your hand stopped? Well, if this has ever happened to you, here are a few steps you can take to tighten up and put confidence back in your waive! First of all let’s understand the causes of flabby upper arms. It is usually caused by aging, overweight, and/or lack of physical activities. Flabby arms are a natural result of aging for the average person that doesn’t usually do physical activities. With age, your skin loses elasticity, giving you a flabby appearance. Becoming overweight can cause flabby arms at any age. Genetics will also play a part in how much you store fat in your arms when you carry excess weight. Lack of physical activities will affect your waive, even if you do not have a weight problem. It brings us to the term “skinny fat.” It refers to an individual who is thin, but has a high body fat percentage. They may be in the acceptable range for their weight, but their body fat percent is high, and they carry more flab. Now let’s take a look at the arm. The major muscles in the arms include the deltoids, biceps and triceps. Your deltoids are the major muscles in the shoulders that control lifting your arms up forward and out to the sides. Your biceps run down the front of your upper arms. They bend the elbow joints against resistance. Your triceps are located the back of your upper arms, They overcome resistance to straighten the elbow joints. Your triceps are the most affected by flabby arms. The good news is, we can do something about it. Let’s look at some ways we can combat flabby arms!!

Cardio: Keep your body moving for

at least 30 minutes at a moderate intensity. Some examples are walking, dancing, jogging, swimming, water aerobics, zumba, HIIT and cycling. 256

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Standing Arm Scissors: Lift

your arms straight out to shoulder height in front of you. This movement consists of a continuous motion of stretching your arms wide open to your sides, and bringing them back to cross in front of you.

Triceps Overhead Press: Using light to medium dumbbell, hold it behind your head. Keeping your elbows pointing upward and your arms close to your head and ears, raise the dumbbell using your forearms, straight up towards the ceiling and back down to the beginning position. Do not lock your elbows during this exercise

Triceps Kickback: Using a dumbbell,

and bench for support. Lean on the bench with one knee and the same side hand, keep your shoulders even. Bring your elbow pointing back, to your side and parallel to the floor, touching your waist. Bend it to a 90 degree angle. This exercise consists of bringing your elbow from a 90 degree angle to an almost straight back position, and back to 90 degrees.

Push Ups: Keeping your fingers pointed

forward or slightly inwards, allows you to target the back of your arms. Using any variation of this position will still help you firm up your triceps. Variations include push ups on your knees, on a counter, or against the wall. Just remember to keep your back flat, your stomach tight, and your head in line with your spine.

Skull Crushers: Lie with your back

on the floor or on a bench. Hold either a barbell, or dumbbells in your hands with your elbows pointing directly to the ceiling. Your hands are positioned with your palms up, resting right above your forehead, or past your head. Keeping your upper arms still, raise your forearms until they are almost completely extended, and lower them back to your beginning position. Do not lock your elbows during this exercise.

Arm Circles: This exercise will tone

and shape flabby arms. A classic exercise that can be done with or without weights. Stand with your arms straight out to your sides, raised to shoulder height. Rotate your arms in the backward direction. Then switch your circles to the forward direction. The backward and

forward arm movement tones all the muscles of the arms including the triceps, biceps, shoulders and back muscles as well.

One Arm Floor Dips: Sit on the

floor with your knees bent and feet placed flat on the floor. Place your hands on the floor about a foot behind your hips, palms kept shoulder-width apart and fingers pointing towards your back. Now, raise your hips off the floor by straightening your arms. Bend your right elbow to lower your hips as close to the floor as possible, without touching it. Straighten your right arms and bend your left elbow to again lower your hips as close to the floor as possible. Repeat on alternate sides.

Dips: Can be performed on a bench, chair,

or box. Place yourself in the seated position, move your butt off of the edge of the surface. Bring your hands to the edge of the surface and place them right next to your hips facing the surface and gripping it. This movement consists of slowly lowering and raising your hips with your elbows facing back at all times. This fat reduce exercise not only tones the arms, but also your back muscles. Give yourself a few months of these exercises, along with a healthy diet, and plenty of water. Don’t forget to take your arm measurements, and pictures before, and after so you can see and show off your results! It’s never too late to start your journey to being healthy, fit and feeling sexy!

From the House of KitFit5pt0….. Commit to Fit!! Kitty Teresi BEDROC MMA Mixed Martial Artist Personal Training to Success!


{ flower city bitties DIY }

Facing my fears by lauren harrison

finding success, lau nching a crafting empire I have always considered myself a strong and resilient person. In all reality, I very much am. I have survived the college years, the independent adult years just after college, marriage, an international move, two children, a full-time job. I think that most people that we encounter in our daily lives should be considered resilient. We all face the same world where everyone

strives for success- the definition for success

is different for everyone, but it is what we work towards each day. Now that I have played in this ‘adult’ game for a few years, I find myself reflecting back on my

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18 year-old self to see if my goals are the same and if I have reached them. In doing so, I struck a very unnerving cord within myself. At 18, I wanted to be in business and went to college to do just that. I wanted to have control. I wanted success and to feel powerful. I wanted to make an impact on the world, although I didn’t know how exactly that was going to transpire. But life happened. I met a guy. Slowly my goals transitioned from ‘worldly’ to ‘homebound’. I changed my major, went into teaching, and hunkered into this new life. Eventually I met my husband; we got married, and had our first child soon thereafter. I continued my career in education, dabbling in crafting as an outlet to relax and excuse to hang out with my friends. Throughout these busy years as my family was growing I felt this odd tug deep within. My 18 year-old goals were pushing through.

Despite being wildly successful on many fronts, something in my life was lacking. I suppressed these feelings for a long time. Who doesn’t feel fulfilled teaching? Who considers leaving a fulltime job with benefits and a pension? I did. I considered it. And then, I DID IT. I took the leap. Nervousness and anxiousness abound on the daily. I ask myself, as I lay in bed at night “Will my pursuits be lucrative? Will I be able to support my family financially and STILL find the happiness and fulfillment I have been missing?” I don’t have those answers. I have a drive to be successful, to create a business and brand that flourishes and grows. My children will see their mother work and hustle. Every. Single. Day. They will be proud of me.


I am facing my fears and insecurities, swallowing back the random nausea as I realize how huge this life choice is. I read books, take classes, network every day. If I fail, it won’t be because I didn’t work hard. Honestly, I think even if I do fail, I will feel fulfilled because I tried. I face my fears and take leaps to follow my dreams everyday. There is nothing wrong with following dreams and I am beyond blessed to have an incredibly strong network that allows me to do this. And this is where where Flower City Bitties: Craft N a Box comes in… Someone once told me that the human brain is only capable of handling so much input and stimulation before it becomes overwhelmed. The modern woman is inundated daily with enormous expectations to perform in some capacity, whether that is at a job, at home, working from home. Without an outlet, these burdens can become overwhelming. So what is the hardworking woman in this fast paced society supposed to do to find balance!?

Craft. Roughly five years ago my girlfriends and I started holding Pinterest days. We would chat and browse our Pinterest pages and pick

crafts to work on over glasses of wine and tasty snacks. We had many successes- our houses are testaments to those successes. We also had many Pinterest ‘flops’ and our families houses are testaments to those. They most likely inherited our handmade beauties that weren’t lucky enough to find a forever home on our own mantles. The foundation of Flower City Bitties is simple and strong. I wholeheartedly believe that using creativity, in any form, is an outlet to relax and unwind. Honestly, crafting can be stress and anxiety-inducing even for me. How do I take a picture from Pinterest, oftentimes without directions or supply lists, and turn that into a real product? But at every step in my crafting journey, whether it is in a studio or in a class I am leading, the end products are always amazing. I don’t mean amazing like “Hey, I can sell this cool craft I just made because it is that good!”. The products are amazing because valuable time was spent on creating them. FCB products are amazing because they are made in the company of friends (and many times wine...wine is a friend, let’s be real). The products are amazing because they have been created in conjunction with a “team” of people who have uplifted and supported you

during the crafting journey. Sure, sometimes my painted peacock feathers have crooked strokes. Yes, my monogram wooden “H” adorned with garden stones has chipped and doesn’t fit any of the colors of my house. But there has not been a person yet (as far as I know) who has taken a class or purchased a Craft N a Box kit that leaves feeling embarrassed by the product they created. Those feelings of anxiety and stress dissipate with each step, with each guided tutorial. Feelings of accomplishment are often overwhelming; the laughs and relaxed atmosphere aren’t too bad, either. This is what I strive for. This is what makes working multiple jobs, with small children, worth every second. This is what makes hours of my time scrolling through internet pages and walking through Michaels and JoAnn’s enjoyable and exhilarating. The ability to give people an outlet for their creativity. The ability to give the less artistically inclined customers a fun and positive experience makes running FCB the most fulfilling thing I have done in a very long time.

Lauren Harrison Founder

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{ unraveled } BY SHEILA KENNEDY

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C


C { unraveled }

When Fashion Has Meaning

I am not particularly fond of animals and have never been on safari, but I wear zebra print as often as I can. Why? It is tied to the branding for my business, The Zebra Ink. When I wear zebra print is a natural billboard for my business and what it stands for.

Allow me to backtrack since there are many layers to the zebra story. When I first came out of my divorce, I went to see an image consultant who offered a class in Fashion Feng Shui. I was hoping to update my image and thought it might be a good idea to take the class. The purpose behind Fashion Feng Shui is to wear clothing that attracts what you want to invite into your life. Essentially, the results of the class were that my personal style was pleasure seeking and dramatic. I should choose trends that reflect FIRE Energetic Design Elements: reds and purples; pointed or angular shapes; animal prints and fabrics; attention-getting or body-conscious styling. I have let this guide my clothing choices for the past eight years. (Side note – if you have the chance to take a fashion feng shui class, I highly encourage it. So much fun and it really works)

the zebra if it is white with black stripes or black with white stripes. The zebra answered with questions like, “Are you good with bad habits or bad with good habits? Are you neat with sloppy ways or sloppy with neat ways?” The zebra went on and on and the poet decided never to ask the zebra again about its stripes.

About the same time as my image was changing, I was beginning to reorganize my business. I was a home stager prior to that and was leaning towards creating a coaching practice. I changed the business name and was taking my branding seriously. I decided to adopt a mascot – a zebra – that continues to be influential in my business today. Originally though, I was drawn to the zebra because it was reflective of the passion I had for helping my clients.

Here is the rub though. Zebra print can be pretty ugly and busy when not done well. I am petite and I have a tough time finding clothes and accessories that are fun, but not overwhelming in size and scale. In the beginning, zebra print clothing seemed out of my comfort zone, so I bought panties and bras with the print on it. I felt like I had a secret and would walk around with a smile on my face and confidence in my interactions. As I got bolder and began wearing zebra print clothing, that feeling only got stronger and people I was encountering were noticing and starting to look at zebra print in a whole new way. It has been truly beautiful.

As the coaching business was forming, I was going through an extremely challenging time personally. I found myself in a situation that had me feeling like I had no choices. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and I thought the only option was to get smashed. A good friend reminded me that I always have a choice. I took that to heart and began to think of the choices I could make differently. I ended up choosing differently and got myself out of the situation. I realized that I might not always be able to choose myself out of a situation, but that I could always choose my reaction. To this day, that is what I define as my moment of empowerment. I am dedicated to sharing the idea that choosing your reaction is incredibly powerful and available to each one of us. A few months after that epiphany, I read a poem by Shel Silverstein called, ‘The Thing About Zebras.’ In it, the poet asks

When I read the poem, it instantly reminded me of the power to choose. On that day, I decided to use the zebra print as a visual reminder of my power to choose my reaction. I wear zebra print to remind those around me that they too have the power to choose. Even though it started as something that was a little whimsical and fun, it has become something very powerful. I am now known as “the zebra lady” all over and it is because I wear the message and the brand so often in the form of zebra print.

One of my long-term business goals is to create a line of zebra print clothing and undergarments so women can reap the benefit of feeling empowered by the zebra’s meaning and message. They can look good and feel good regardless of what their style and comfort zones dictate. I will never be a fashion icon or designer, but I am looking forward to scouting talent that can create the line. What a beautiful world it will be when I look around and see legions of zebra print clad women who are strong, confident and empowered. The Zebra Collection of clothing and accessories will be a fantastic example of fashion that has meaning. I can hardly wait!

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{ mind, body, spirit }

Yoga Apparel

When did it become fashionable? by alANA CALHOON

A couple of years ago I was in Santa Monica, CA. I packed my suitcase with what I thought was appropriate attire. Jeans, shorts, dresses. And one set of yoga clothes. I quickly discovered that the only thing I needed to bring with me was that one set of yoga clothes. No one in the LA area wore jeans. An occasional dress here and there. But everyone wore their yoga attire, day and night. To cafes, to the beach, and yes, to the yoga studio. In fact there were so many yoga studios and gyms that it wasn’t any wonder that they may have never changed into anything other than … their yoga clothes! So today I decided to give it a try here in Rochester, NY. I wore my yoga outfit to Wegmans. Not a single person turned their head. At least none that I could see. I went from aisle to aisle, occasionally noticing some one else dressed in their work-out gear. Nothing. I was incognito. It was almost as if I was in LA. What does this mean? Is yoga attire acceptable, trendy, fashionable? All over the US? What about the rest of the world? Here’s what I found. Let’s start with who makes them. Athleta, Lulumon, and Prana are some of the leading brands. But Jockey, Calvin Klein & Nike offer a plentiful selection, as well. Yoga has become so popular that just about every brand is stitching up their own line. This fashion trend is called 262

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Athleisure. And it’s not all bad. For instance, we’re not walking around in baggy sweats picking up sticky treats from fast food chains. In fact, Women’s Health says that “people who wear gym gear - like yoga pants - to places where one would normally not wear that kind of ensemble are seen as having a higher status since they ignore typical social norms.” (http://www.womenshealthmag. com/fitness/stereotypes-about-women-whowear-yoga-pants)

A higher status? Now this is intriguing. I’m laying out all my yoga clothes for each day of the week. I’ll keep you posted! Maybe it’s not the entire yoga apparel. But yoga pants are definitely the bomb. NYT interviewed high powered women who justified wearing yoga pants to work. Their reasoning was that if the rest of the outfit is chic, you’re OK. (To Stretch or Not to Stretch. http://www. nytimes.com/2011/03/17/ fashion/17elastic.html) I suppose this makes sense. Leggings worn under a loose & flowy top can offer a sleek look. One might imagine seeing this style common in a creative setting such as an ad agency But could this be true in a more conservative setting like a law office? Calista Flockhart brought the short skirt to many episodes of Ally McBeal where she played a delightful, feminine lawyer. But would she have shown up in spandex pants and a crop top? I asked a few friends what their take on Athleisure wear was. Do they go about town in their tight pants? Their answers vary! Karen Mungenast is one of Rochester’s sexiest CFO’s. Her answer is a surprising, “No!” With legs like hers, who would want to hide them? Kathy Jackson says she only


BY ALANA CAHOON


{ mind, body & spirit } Maybe it’s not the entire yoga apparel. But yoga pants are definitely the bomb.

her yoga clothes to work out in but if there were a stylish brand out there she would reconsider. Real estate is her business and dresses are her style. “It would be great to have yoga styles for different types of bodies which look good. For example a brand that looks good on a small top or a large top or big hips or apple shape, etc.” Great idea, Kathy! Some one ought to jump on that. Sharon Perry-Ferrari is in the wellness industry with a response to match. “Pretty much everywhere, lol.” She follows up saying that she probably wouldn’t wear them in a traditional office setting. What if you wear a uniform to work like postwoman, Jill Morris? No can do. She wears her yoga clothes to yoga class and then right back home again! Charla Kucko, Sr PR director says she’ll wear her yoga attire at home or on a quick run to the grocery store but that’s about it. Lori Ventura-Lamendola is a Rochester native who now resides in Marco Island, FL. wears her yoga clothes casually but never to work! Occupational therapist, Caitlin Coleman-Chen says she wears her yoga clothes all the time. “So comfy! Lounge wear, workout wear, sometimes for work when I have to be all over the floor or with kids. My favorite so far is Calia brand and Alo.” And how about me? Well. Let’s start with how many pairs of yoga

pants I own. Then, how many do I actually wear. This year I’ve narrowed it down to black. They go with everything and will never go out of style. Pair them with a fashionable pair of shoes, a flowing top, strings of beads and bangles, and you’re golden. Black yoga pants are today’s little black dress!

STATISTICS

Only 4% of women in the US say they wear strictly business attire. Sales at Lulumon increased 56% in the 3rd quarter in 2010. In the US, activewear apparel sales totaled $45.9 billion in 2016, up 11% from 2015. Side Note While visiting California, our airbnb was located in the heart of Venice Beach, home of Gold’s Gym and our host was one of their first body builders. He moved to LA from Chile to pursue a Ph.D. in marine biology and was caught by the personal fitness bug. He works out daily, is a personal fitness trainer and wears his gear everywhere all the time. Alana Cahoon is the Founder of Grow 2 B U, providing a holistic approach to transition, leadership & entrepreneurship through creative coaching & meditation. Visit www. alanacahoon.com or www. grow2bu.com to learn more.


Priceless Vessels, Inc. (PV) an organization---more like a sisterhood--of ethnically diverse professional women who are empowered and empower other women to excel in their professional, spiritual and personal lives.

All “Rockin’ Women” are Welcome! Join us on THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 2017 at 6:00 pm for our “Fall Kick-off Event” for “Rockin’ Women” only ~~ We will have an interactive discussion on “WHAT AM I WORTH” led by Dr. CYNTHIA MCGILL, PV’s President. Dinner, wine, sodas and dessert included for only $39.00 at the lovely Chatterbox Club. Go online to learn more and register: www.pricelessvessels.com


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B


B MOVE OR IMPROVE?

Remodeling projects that yield the most return on investment at the lake and beyond!

{ city sense } BY DANI POLIDAR

Kitchens and Baths are the main sellers in every home. For Second homes that are lucky enough to be in close proximity to beautiful bodies of water there is even more of an emphasis on spectacular Kitchens and Baths.

polished have made a huge comeback. Go wild and experiment. Match or contrast the cabinet hardware and light fixture finishes or better yet do a bit of everything in your own style.

Because there are usually more guests to come share the activities that come with lakefront living the spaces to accommodate indoor activities are usually generously sized. Kitchens typically feature ample storage, vast counter spaces and huge Islands or Peninsula’s to keep well-meaning visitors occupied on the other side of the main work spaces. Walls of extra Beverage centers and large pantries to hold the food and supplies can be elegantly styled to blend or contrast with the main cabinetry theme.

The quantity and quality of bathrooms is important in Lake Homes that are sprawling and compact. If the square footage is tight create buddy or Jack and Jill baths with the Water Closet and sink partitioned from bathing areas. Showers with a zero-clearance threshold maximize space and increase safety for those of all ages.

Feel free to experiment with a variety of materials and finishes in a kitchen that is open to the adjacent rooms and waterfront perfectly outfitted for entertaining. Copper, hammered metals, quartz composite, stone and enamel are favored materials for those who are looking beyond the basic stainless steel offerings. Faucets are works of art on the own with many stylish finishes including many new options that are in every color in the rainbow. Metallic finishes in Rose Gold, Bronze, black, and brass both brushed and

For bathrooms carry on the style theme of the other areas or pure white or white Carrera marble look with chrome fixtures are timeless options. Bathrooms can be made more functional for multiple guests with double sinks, lots of hooks for towels and cubbies or shelving for each guest to have their temporary personal space. Proper ventilation and adequate lighting are great investments! The Kitchen is the heart and hub of every home and the bathroom is often the only spot where anyone can get a few minutes of personal space in any home so make sure that you get these spaces exactly the way you want no matter where that home may be. ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

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{ living above the line }

Chemo Curls My Signature Syle by debbie mcq

At first, when Kelly asked me to pen a article for Rochester Women’s Magazine Online’s Fashion edition I was a bit hesitant. My thought first went to my waredrobe and accessories and things we adorn ourselves with to flatter our bodies, compliment our personalities, be trendy and the list goes on. I spent time reflecting on what fashion truley means to me. What I came up with was more the total look of a person. Not only the items we select to wear or put on our bodies but our skin, hair, nails, size, everything. And for me, this struck a very personal cord. As I have shared, I am a cancer conquerer. This past year was my 8th anniversary for conquering osteoscarma (bone cancer). This battle left me able to work thrumultiple physical effects the battle took on my body, except one. My HAIR. You see, I have always had some wave to my hair, but never more than that.

IF I MAY SHARE A STORY

It was about 6 months prior to my diagnosis that my hairdresser, Janet, began commenting on my hair. We had been together for about 4 years so, she was uniquely positioned to see changes that I was not. She began to comment casually on the thickness of my hair. Shortly she added in the texture was changing. I was just 40 years old so was certian this was the onset of pre-menapause. Then, I began noticing at home after rinsing my hair that more hair than normal was ‘pulling’ out. As events unfolded, it quickly made sense to both of us what she had noticed. My body was fighting a battle and the changes to my hair were a casuality of this battle. Fast forwarding to my surgery treatment stage, I was fortunate, I never LOST my hair. While it went quite thin, I was never faced with needing to shave what was left off. The most noticable 270

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effect on my body was the attrophe in my legs from lack of use. But, as time passed, both my body and hair began to rebound. Getting off the crutches, being more active and reaching my final treatments, it was amazing to begin a new chapter, MY 2nd chance at life. As I began to take back my life, Janet was there by my side. I recall it was not before too long that she again started commenting on my hair but very different than before. You see, my hair was growing back so strong, so thick and so CURLY. Yep, you guessed it - I was given the gift of CHEMO CURLS. She could actually see that my roots were growing in different and helped me learn how to embrace my curls and feature them with pride. It was around mid summer in the Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania and the heat an humidity reaked havoc on my new curls. I can remember days when I could not get my fingers thru my hair and as soon as I went outside they went crazy. At times I

struggled to embrace them but over time she taught me it is a totally differnt way you need to cut and syle curls. An experience not be underestimated as anyone with curls will tell you they have a mind of their own! Slowly over time I grew to love them! They were a badge of honor, my new SIGNATURE STYLE, and I sytled them proudly. Here I am today with my AMAZING sister in Tanya at the renewal of her and my brothers wedding vows! It meant so much to me to be there for this blessed event! We have sinced moved from Pennsylvania and it has been a journey to find a replacement for Janet, but I have. Debbie (ha same name) is fabulous. She and I have shared our stories and she truely understands how to cut and style my hair. In fact, she has helped me begin to grow my hair, my curls, longer than ever before and I LOVE IT!!!! But one thing I have learned along the way - it is not just the cut. It is what you put on your hair and in your body. There are so many products that boast ‘healhty for your hair’ that it can be crazy confusing. I need to make sure that I give my hair every chance at staying as healthy and vibrant as my body. For me is it my goal to avoid any drying, thinning, or breaking of my hair caused my chemicals or products. To this day each and every time I wash may hair I consider how much hair may wash out in my hands. It is a barometer for me to understand if there may be others areas of my body and healthy I should check out.

THE BEST P R O DU C T CHOICE

Since introducing Young Living Essential Oils in to our lives, I have noticed far


to often that many of the hair products that toubt themselves as the BEST, do actually attempt to have fewer chemicals but very often some sort of essential oils or fregrances as an ingredient. The reality is they do have some chemicals and never have I found one with the quality of Young Living’s purest essential oils! So lets understand why companies try so desperately to use lesser grades of Theraputic Grade Essential Oils in them and celebrate the benefits we all desire.

Lavender

• Helps balance natural scalp • soothese scalp and calms hair • Promotes hair growth • Scalp treatement for itchiness and dandruff

Tea Tree

• Heathy scalp support • Soothes dry flaky skin • Used to treat dandruff and head lice

Cedarwood

• Normalizes dry and oily scalp • Stimulates scalp and hair folicles • Used to treat hair loss and dandruff • Antiseptic and astrigent

Chamolmile

• Gives golden highlights and sheen

• Conditions hair • Soothese inflamed scalp • Helps scaly scalps and psoriasis

Rosemary

• Great for stimulating hair growth and regrowing bald patches • Used to treat dandruff

Peppermint

• Stimulates the scalp • Energizes your mind and helps you wake up • Antiseptic • Used to treat dandruff and head lice As you can see, the benefits that just these six oils offer make it easy to understand why companies put them in their products, what ever the grade, in their products. But, for me, for my Chemo Curls - I want the best. I want what is really going to take care of my hair. Did you know that many of the retail essential oils you can purchase can be as little as 5% actual oil? It’s true, in fact, in the United States, there is no rating system for essential oils, the FDA requirement for “pure” or “therapeutic grade” label is only 5% essential oil! Oils fall into 4 categories; • Grade A is therapeutic, organically grown and distilled at low temperature. Only True Pure Oil! • Grade B are food grade, may contain synthetics,

pesticides, fertilizer, chemicals. • Grade C are perfume oils, adulterated. • Grade D is the “floral water”. After all the oil is pulled out, what’s left over is sold to companies which fill their bottle with 5% floral water and carrier oils and label it “pure”. Before you purchase research the company and see if they grow their own plants, own their own farms, control the whole process from Seed to Seal! From the farm to the sealed bottle. Pesticides, pollution, previously farmed land can affect the oil. Why go the extra step to get away from chemicals to use an oil laden with chemicals? So, I say to YOU.....your fashion represents off all you, not just you waredrobe and accessories. Your body lends so much to your fashion, your style. Give as much care to yourself as you do your waredrobe. For me, I have chosen the path of essential oils to care for my curls. As we age our hair naturally can dry, thin, break and certialy change in color. There is not one benefit from the essential oils discussed that all of us could not benefit from. Thank you for reading, please feel free to connect with me any time: Cell: 716-870-0234 Email: 1lavenderlemonade@gmail.com


{ no excuses } by julie m. may

NO EXCUSES: Finding Time For Fitness by julie may

Getting fit is the number one New Year’s resolution for Americans. Just go to a gym in early January and you’ll find thousands of people who made fitness their goal for the New Year. Go back to the same gym in February. Where did everyone go? Hello? Did they all achieve their fitness goals in a month? Bueller? Bueller? Experts say the most common excuse for not working out is the biggest excuse of all time that we use to ignore EVERYTHING we don’t want to do… “I don’t have time to do it.” I intend to show you that it’s not true. That’s what this “No Excuses” column is all about. Letting go of your fears to achieve your dreams. And admit it right now… it’s FEAR that is holding you back. Fear of failure. Fear you won’t be good enough. Fear you’ll never be a size 4 so why even try to work out… And on top of the list is the biggest excuse we have for anything we don’t want to do… I don’t have time. The job. The house. The kids. The animals… We can all come up with excuses for being “to busy” for fitness. But busy as we may be, we find time for television, binge watching Netflix. We have plenty of time to eat, sometimes way too much, mindlessly consuming snacks. We have time to surf the internet, checking out friends, relatives and ex-boyfriends on Facebook. (What did you see in him anyway? And did he really marry her?). I digress. We find time to go shopping on the sale rack at Kohls or Macy’s, looking for that sweater on sale because we’ll look just like J-Lo when we wear it. Or if we’re really in the mood to search we hit up the beautiful, chaotic disarray of Marshalls or TJ Maxx looking for sweet deals on designer clothes, purses and shoes. Face 272

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it, we are more willing to spend time and money to adorn the outside of our bodies than we are to change the INSIDE. But at the pace you are going, the clothes are going to outlive you! You need fitness in your life. Everybody does. We even find time for dull household tasks. We clean the toilets and do the dishes because we want our home to look nice. We clean out the refrigerator… ok, sometimes not as often as we should (what is that bowl of green stuff?) But come on, we are talking about your BODY. Why don’t you want to make time to make the real ‘home’ you have to live in every day LOOK and FEEL better? Right now, think about how old you will be in 20 years. What do you want your life to look like? Do you want to fit into the same clothes you wear today? Start exercising now because aging makes people gain weight. You can fend that off by finding a fitness routine and fend off spending thousands of dollars on bigger clothes. Do you want to be playing with your grand children? Find something you truly love to do that gets your body moving so you will have the energy to play with them. Do you want to be a sexual, vibrant, active human being? Start a work out now so you can be that person. Because you won’t be able to go back twenty years, hunched over on a walker and say “IF ONLY I HAD MADE TIME…” Don’t be in denial about your health. How will a sedentary lifestyle be affecting your future? Will you have time for multiple doctors appointments? Will you have the time and money to take medication every day to treat high blood pressure, high cholesterol or diabetes? Psychologists say there is a deeper reason,

that lack of time is really a cover-up excuse. Typically lack of motivation or lack of enjoyment are the two biggest reasons you don’t “have time.” Be blunt with yourself… Say this out loud: “I am lazy and don’t enjoy working out. AND I AM READY TO CHANGE THAT AND FIND FITNESS ACTIVITIES I ENJOY.” Write it down on a post it note and hang it on the mirror you look into every morning. Find an activity you love, and it won’t seem like working out. Try to find at least three so you can vary your routine and never get bored. NOW YOU ARE READY TO FIND A WORKOUT THAT YOU LOVE and can COMMIT TO. Here are my five best tips for starting an exercise habit: Rise and shine. For most people, the day only gets more demanding as it goes on, says celebrity trainer and fitness DVD star Sara Haley. “Exercising first thing in the morning will ensure you fit it in,” she says. Lay out your workout clothes the night before, she suggests. “This way you won’t waste any time and can’t claim you forgot anything.” Another friend says wear your work out clothes to bed… so you are ready to work out the minute you wake up. If you get up an hour early each day and do a fitness activity, a walk, a bike ride, a trip to the gym, an exercise DVD, some yoga, whatever you do if you plan to START YOUR DAY WITH IT YOU CAN’T ‘RUN OUT OF TIME’ TO DO IT. Even if you need to get up an hour earlier, the work out will make you feel so energized you will never miss that hour of sleep. In fact if your body needs the rest, you will fall asleep even faster and earlier at night. If you must do it after work… Hire a trainer. Putting some money on the line will provide you with the motivation


When working with my clients who are looking to shed a few pounds, I always advise beginning and ending their day with a glass of water. It fills you up and cleans out your system.

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{ no excuses } I intend to show you that it’s not true. That’s what this “No Excuses” column is all about. Letting go of your fears to achieve your dreams. And admit it right now… it’s FEAR that is holding you back. Fear of failure. Fear you won’t be good enough. Fear you’ll never be a size 4 so why even try to work out…

you need to show up for activity. Book some sessions with a personal trainer, so you will get to the gym no matter what. A personal trainer will help you set and reach realistic goals. A personal trainer will be your biggest cheerleader. A personal trainer will help you learn all the fitness equipment in the gym that you need to master to reach your goals. Find one. Every single gym will give you recommendations. Even if you can only afford 5 or 10 sessions DO IT. Ten is better to get you into a habit. That will be all you need to start seeing results so you can move forward on your own. That’s what my friend Christine did, and she toned up, firmed up and lost 43 pounds as a bonus and is sexier than ever! Be an active watcher. When you watch TV, make the most of it. Do some ball-crunches, planks, yoga poses, squats, lunges or pushups while you’re watching. Put a treadmill in front of the tv. Or keep fitness equipment, such as a kettlebell, resistance bands, a stair climber and a jump rope, near the TV. Get in a 30 minute workout while you are watching your favorite show. Or use the commercial breaks to mix in brief cardio intervals. Run in place or up and down the stairs; do some burpees or jumping jacks. You spend every minute of your life multi-tasking so make use of tv time. I promise you, if you do this you will have PLENTY of time to sit in front of the tv relaxing into old age because you invested in your health. Be a hot date. Dinner and a movie is so cliché. What if, instead, you took your date/partner/love-interest to a cycling class or a ballroom dance lesson, tried a tennis game, a bike ride, a yoga class, indoor climbing, went on a hike, walked along the beach or kicked a soccer ball around the park? Bonus: Research shows that shared activity builds attraction. Test 274

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it out for yourself. You’ll thank me later. Buy and wear a FitBit. It’s like having a tiny life and fitness coach on your wrist. Your fit bit needs to be on you everyday to remind you things like… why am I searching for a spot closest to the store when the spots furthest from the store are empty and I can get in a few hundred more steps? Why am I composing an

be naked ever after without it. Now I would be amiss to tell you people who make a fitness goal often do it to lose weight. As far as dieting goes, your goal should not be more than 7% of your current weight. (Multiply your current weight by .07 to get a goal weight loss number). Losing weight can be a perfectly good goal for starting a fitness routine, but remember, you will gain muscle. Muscle will burn more calories while you are at rest, but it also weighs more than fat. You absolutely cannot make losing weight your only goal. Because you won’t lose weight at first. You might even gain, which is muscle which will burn more calories than fat cells so you can eat more! Seriously, if you set your goal to lose 50 lbs you will get discouraged. If you set your goal to lose 10 lbs… now you have a chance and a motivational number. If you hit that goal and are motivated to keep going, set your new goal at another 7% weight loss. Just don’t say “I am going to lose 50 lbs” because that is a two year commitment if you want to lose weight and keep it off and you will get discouraged in a few weeks. THIN is not a goal. Healthy is.

email when I can walk over to my bosses office and ask the question in person? Did I do enough steps today to have a glass of wine with dinner or should I stick to water? Do your homework to find one you like. They range in price from $20 to $200 dollars depending on what features you like, but I guarantee it will change your thinking about fitness and exercise. Make it a habit for two months and you’ll

Where will you be in 20 years? Where will you be in 5 years? Where will you be next year if you stop making excuses to improve your fitness and start doing something TOMORROW? Find the time. You have the power in your hands right now to make it the best version of you possible. You only get one life and one body. Go out and take a walk right now. It’s the easiest, cheapest fitness regime ever. No excuses.


Photo by: Stephen S. Reardon Photography

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }

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Saturday, September 30th Check-in starts: 10:00 a.m. Walk begins: 11:00 a.m.

Lollypop Farm, Humane Society of Greater Rochester 99 Victor Road Fairport, NY 14450


S


S FINDING LOVE WITHIN Dear Sarah,

I’ve been wondering about

a relationship, any possible chances for a second

chance? He decided to end the relationship but I love him like no other -Michelle

{ ask the angels } By Sarah Itkin, LCSW

Dear Michelle,

I’m sorry to hear that you are experiencing heart break, and I hope my answer to your question will bring you some comfort. When people come to me asking about repairing failed relationships, I often see that these relationships ended for a reason. The messages I’m receiving indicate that this is the case for you and your former mate, whom I will refer to as Bob. It may or may not be possible for you and Bob to reunite, as the future can change depending on the choices you and Bob make. I’m intuiting that a relationship previous to your time with Bob negatively impacted your self-esteem. This partner was cold, often unkind, and temperamental. You developed beliefs about yourself that you were unlovable and not worthy of a healthy relationship. Understandably so, you carried these beliefs into your relationship with Bob. Deep down inside you expected that Bob would leave you, so you self-sabotaged by starting arguments. At the same time Bob had behaviors that were disturbing to you and perhaps would have been deal breakers if you were feeling more confident in yourself when you first met. The answer to your question is this: rather than trying to figure out if there is possibility of a second chance, ask yourself if you really want to have a second chance with Bob. You’ll find the answer to this question when you are able to love yourself fully. An angel popped up on my computer screen after writing that sentence so I know it’s important information for you. Self-love is a popular term amongst those who are on the spiritual path, but it’s much easier said than done. Here’s an action plan based on channeling the angels and my knowledge as a mental health therapist: Find a quiet place in your home, play soft

music, light a candle, and write yourself a love letter. List all the qualities about yourself that are loveable. Your letter should at least be a page long. Notice whether or not you have any negative thoughts or judgements about yourself as you write, and write those thoughts on a separate piece of paper. Read your love letter when you wake up in the morning and when you go to bed at night. Then take a look at your list of negative thoughts about yourself. Where did they came from? Most of the thoughts didn’t originate in your mind. They (advertently and inadvertently) came from family members, friends, teachers, dominant messages from society about beauty or image, and past romantic relationships. They started forming when you were young and continued as you got older. Take your negative thought list and write positive “I am” statements. The purpose of these statements are to cancel out the negative thought patterns. For example, if you wrote that you are stupid, write “I am smart”, or if you wrote “I hate my body”, replace that with, “I am grateful for my beautiful, healthy, body”. Transfer these positive statements to sticky notes and place them all over your home. Then take your list of negative statements and burn them. Throw the ashes in a garbage can far from where you live. Chances are, you may not believe your positive affirmations are true at first. Our thoughts are incredibly powerful, and if we practice replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations, it can change the way we see ourselves. I recommend going to author Louise Hay’s website at louisehay.com to explore this further. Louise is an expert on how positive affirmations can change our lives.


Another message from the angels I’m getting is to stay true to your convictions without yelling or instigating arguments. Communication can make or break relationships. All you have to do is notice what bothers you. These steps are excerpts taken from the 4-Part Nonviolent Communication Process developed by Marshall B. Rosenburg, PH.D: 1. Observe what you see (the specific behavior that makes you angry) and state the facts. Ex: “You didn’t answer me when I asked about your day”. 2. Say how you feel: “I feel angry and ignored”. 3. Share what you need: “I need to feel heard” 278

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4. Make a request: “Would you be willing to respond to my questions when I ask?” This will take a lot of practice, as most of us don’t communicate naturally this way. I would start practicing this with friends and family when the opportunity arises. Whether or not you or Bob get back together, I know you will find love again. If you can fall in love with yourself, you will draw a man who honors you and treats you with love and respect. When you feel like you can use extra help, call upon Archangel Zadkiel, the angel of healing through positive thoughts, bravery, and forgiveness of yourself and others, and Chamuel, the angel of finding soul mates. I’m grateful for the opportunity to be of service to you in your quest for love and happiness.

I’m looking forward to hearing from more of you! Please email your question to asktheangels777@yahoo.com. Type Ask the Angels in the subject line and indicate how I should address you (using your real name, just initials, etc…) in my response. Feel free to visit my website if you’d like to learn more about my work at www. sarahitkin.com or find me on Facebook at @sarahitkinintuitivehealer. DISCLAIMER: Despite confirmed psychic ability, intuitive visions and messages are not always 100% accurate. Therefore, Sarah Itkin and any sponsors must disclaim any and all liability to all persons and parties who act or rely upon her intuition. This column is for entertainment purposes only.


Home

{ cooking with Julia k }

“Automation” for The

A Tisket a Tasket it’s the CSA week

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{ cooking with Julia k } BY JULIA KHOURY

Our Community Supported Agriculture Basket came from Sunscape Farms. The Good Food Collective is another option and I’m sure there are more. Take some time and look these guys up, peruse some websites and get a little background as to what “the goal/mission” is. I am a late comer to participating in this world of CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) but it is highly recommended and now that we have our first basket we are hooked. This box of great seasonal items not only comes with suggested menus but also my favorite piece which is a bouquet of flowers that you pick out when you get your basket. A little happiness on the way out. Our basket included, corn, peaches, beans, blueberries, swiss chard, cucumbers and sweet corn. What we also like is we can do multiple things with the ingredients an example is the beans and cucumbers. We used half the beans for a seared tuna nicoise salad and the other half making our take on Ricks Picks “Windy City Wasabeans”. We used half the blueberries for freezer jam (super simple recipe on the back of the Sure-Jell box works great). The peaches and

plums we used half for Grilled Peach and Plum shortcake and the other half for Peach Bellini Cocktails. The sweet corn we grilled for Mexican Style Street Corn which is a summertime favorite here. My overall feeling is that instead of going to the store, this is an opportunity not only to enjoy the best of seasonal local ingredients, but a chance to be challenged by ingredients. Frankly they choose you and now you have the opportunity to explore the many variations on a “theme”. Take the time to research the offerings, there are offerings for vegetable “shares”, bread “shares, meat “shares” and so on. This is something you can grow into (no pun intended) and share with family and friends. The taste and experience is beyond compare. Enjoy! Enjoy!

Julia K.


{get hypnotized with rw }

HYPNOTICALLY AWARE by howie jones

Did you know that you can only pay attention to the things that you want to? Where you aware that you can only pay attention to one thing at one time. You and I can shift our attention to 7+ or -2 things at a very fast rate so that it feels like you’re paying attention to more than one, however, in actuality, it is only one.

Do you ever feel compelled to buy a product after a commercial or feel the need to jump out of your chair because something scared you in the movie. Even though we know it’s not real writers and producers know that if they can cause an emotional response you will act on it. It is just the way our brains are wired.

Have you ever been reading a good book or watching a movie and somebody comes in and tries to talk to you but you don’t hear or see them until they really raise there voice and get in front of you. Maybe they even had to wave their arms or poke you to get your attention. As we become absorbed into a book or a movie we only pay attention to what’s going on in them and not what’s going on around us. That absorbed state is hypnosis.

So, the next time you go to buy a card and the Hallmark card jumps out at you because of some emotional tie you’ll know why. When you go to buy sneakers and you grab NIKE because you could “just do it” or maybe a Coca-Cola because “it’s the real thing” or even McDonalds because “I’m loving it”. Just remember as you experience emotion you also experience hypnosis.

Just because you are exposed to commercials, movies, and advertisements does not mean that you must except them. In life we all have choices and free will. Just be aware of this; how advertisers, movie makers, and producers get you to buy their products. Sometimes in life we need to go see a hypnotist to help remove those things that we are hypnotized to. About the Author H. Douglas Jones is the owner of Jones Hypnosis and the Howie Hypnotize Comedy Hypnosis Show. He is a Board Certified Hypnotist (BCH) and instructor with the National Guild of Hypnotists. hdouglasjones.com


{ tips for women }

CBD - What is it and what can it do for you? by MAUREEN TA

Cannabidiol (CBD) is one of the most abundant cannabinoids found in the cannabis (hemp) plant. Unlike THC, CBD is completely nonpsychoactive. CBD has started to become more “mainstream” as it’s therapeutic potential is being realized. This important cannabinoid relieves symptoms associated with inflammatory disorders (arthritis, fibromyalgia, RA), anxiety, depression, neurologic disorders (multiple sclerosis, Alzheimer’s disease), chronic pain, and PTSD just to name a few. Kannaway’s products are unique and potent. We have products that contain CBD ONLY and products with a full spectrum of essential plant complex. We also have exclusive access to the time-tested Korean Bibong herbal formulation. Hemp is meant to be a part of our food chain. All humans have a system in our bodies known as the Endocannabinoid System

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(ECS) that is starving for cannabinoids. The Endocannabionid System is responsible for regulation of mood, memory, motor control, immune function, pain perception, appetite, and sleep to name a few things. In addition to our ingestible products, we have a HEMP VAP that contains 100mg of CBD with terpenes and a skin care line. Our TOPICAL SALVE is amazing for treating sore muscles or to use as a carrier for our essential oils. The quality, harvesting, extraction, sourcing, and lab-testing of our CBD are unmatched in this industry. Kannaway’s CBD oil comes from family farms in Austria, from a special high CBD cultivar, grown sustainably, without any chemicals (pesticide-free, herbicide-free, fertilizer-free), non-GMO, and undergoes a 3rd party testing process. It is then manufactured in California. Yes, you can purchase CBD from

many different sources, but it’s important to know WHERE the hemp was grown because hemp is a bio-accumulator meaning it will absorb anything from the ground it is grown in. Our products are 100% organic and triple lab tested for quality and consistency. They are also legal in all 50 states and DEA compliant. When you purchase our products, you can be assured you are getting what you are paying for. I would love to talk to anyone interested in learning more about CBD. You can contact me through FB or email (moetanp@gmail.com). Maureen Ta – Director, Kannaway


{ Building your Business with Biqi }

Talking the Talk with your consumer BY Stephanie Nitya Armstrong

How well do you know your consumer, really? I’m sure you can rattle off traditional target demographic indicators like age, gender or average household income but do you know their favorite movies? Who they look up to? What issues mean the most to them? Since marketing has changed from an outbound strategy (scream your message as loud as possible to whoever is listening) to an inbound strategy (create meaningful relationships and provide value to your audience), understanding your demographic on a very personal level is key to building impactful marketing messages. Every piece of content you generate should be consumer-centric, that is, completely focused on your consumer – not your product. For most sales-focused organizations, taking their focus away from their product’s features and benefits and becoming relationship focused can be a very difficult transition. For many traditionally trained sales teams, it may even seem counterintuitive to tactics that have been taught and used in the past but I can assure you (if you haven’t noticed), that these old tactics aren’t very effective anymore. In fact, they’re usually perceived as offensive, manipulative or lazy. The successful sales-oriented organizations have transitioned into creating delightful experiences for their consumer. Notice, I did not say “creating mundane/ m e d i o c re / a ve r a g e experiences.” Today’s consumer expects you to go above any beyond for their business – and their loyalty – by creating a relationship with them that provides real, genuine value. In the past, consumers have been limited by what products or services were offered in their general geographic region, but today, consumers have access to businesses all around the world – and can have whatever they want delivered to their door from anywhere in the world in just a day 286

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

or two. As a result, business has become much more competitive. It’s become harder to stand out. And when you’re not actively drawing attention to your business, your competition is actively drawing your consumers away from your business – and over to theirs! So how do you stand out in a highly competitive global marketplace even from your hometown? Your business needs to create consumer demand. I don’t mean that you’re the only car dealer within 20 miles so they demand you out of convenience. I don’t mean that people demand your business because it’s the most inexpensively priced. Your business needs to be so good at what you do, that consumers demand the purchase. They cannot imagine their life without doing business with you. You bring value to their life and they feel connected to you on a level deeper than your product or service. Which means, you need to understand them on a much deeper level than their average spend per visit or number of visits per year. You must understand who they are as people so you can create a delightful experience that creates an unrelenting urge to come back over and over again! Think of places you do business with that you can’t imagine going without! Maybe it’s your favorite restaurant, your favorite hotel, your

favorite apparel store, your favorite salon. What do they do that is so meaningful to you that you feel compelled to return? Because I’m always on the run but am also very health-conscious, Core Life is one of my favorite places! I love that I have access to healthy foods, that I can get them quickly and that I can have them my way! It’s like, they totally get me! My aesthetician, Lori, at Battisti Salon creates a totally delightful experience every time I go in! Sandy, who manages the front end, always greets me by name as I walk in, offers me coffee, tea or water and communicates to Lori that I’ve arrived. Lori always goes over my last visit, reviews any new products we’re using, discusses any concerns I have, makes recommendations and then completely caters to my comfort. She suggests products that fit my specific needs, lets me know about any promotions or sales and makes sure I have everything I need until the next time I see her without ever getting pushy. She consults me, she gets to know me and she understands me. She’s more than my aesthetician, she’s my friend. So, keeping my appointments consistent, purchasing products, sending referrals and increasing my average spend is something I enjoy doing. Battisti has made a loyal customer out of me. So, how can we use our marketing to start a meaningful relationship with our consumer rather than merely to promote our own self-interests? The first step is to create a Voice, that is, the general persona of your business. Personifying your business may seem a bit silly at first but when you start to think of the most successful companies, you’ll quickly realize they have a very established voice. They know exactly who they’re speaking to – and they don’t mince words when they speak to their


audience. This makes their brand stand out from the crowd. It establishes an emotional connection with the consumer, creating a relationship and establishing loyalty. Apple, Under Armor, Jordan and Forbes are great examples of powerful brand voices. Their consumers feel connected to the brand. Their consumers demand the sale. Why? Because they know how to speak to their audience.

expectations for engagement with your brand.

2) Values: What is truly important and

Have you started to establish the Voice of your business? If not, here are 5 Keys to Establishing your Brand’s Voice:

meaningful to your business? No one likes a fence-sitter. It’s time to share what really drives you. Do you have a passion for supporting youth-sports? A local food bank, shelter or cause? Do you have a mission to improve the lives of others in some way? Your audience wants to know the things that matter to you – and they want to connect with that cause. Proudly share what is most important to you to drive meaningful relationships with your audience.

1) Style: How do you present yourself to your

3) Culture: People today enjoy seeing the culture

consumer? Are you conservative? Upscale? Artistic? Athletic? Fun? Educators? Empowering? Tech-Forward? Classic? Trendy? Silly? Elegant? The list could go on and on. Clearly define your business style. This will shape your marketing content strategy so your consumers set appropriate

within your work environment. Share your internal workings with your audience. It will give them a chance to get to know your team on a more personal level so by the time they come through your doors, they are comfortable and feel welcome.

4) Linguistics: How do you speak to your

audience? Are they a more formal and objective group or do they enjoy casual and light conversation? Choosing language that connects with your audience’s communication style will stand out from plain-language from your competitors.

5) Relationship: You can’t fake a meaningful

relationship. Get to know your consumers personally by analyzing your analytics, taking surveys or just taking notes about them from your conversations. A little bit of effort goes a long way. Your consumers have created, and will continue to create your success. An interpersonal investment in them will surely yield exponential results! If you’d like to better connect with your audience, contact us today: ciao@biqimarketing.com.


{ motherhood matters }

While Cleaning Out My Cabinets by monica infante

While I was cleaning out a cabinet in my home recently, I made a startling discovery. I hadn’t purchased new makeup for myself in almost a decade. Let me clarify. Like many busy moms, I’ve bought concealer and powder to cover those dark undereye circles, which often come with the territory, but for the fun stuff—like eyeshadow, lip gloss, a little shimmer here and there—well, we’re talking ten years. With so many other important things in my life to take care of, it can feel selfish and self-absorbed to spend time and money on something as trivial as makeup. But my ancient eyeshadow is just a metaphor for a variety of not-so-trivial aspects of my life that I had deprioritized as a mother. Looking back to my late 20s, I had steady, rewarding work, and I lived with my then husband-to-be in an apartment on the 13th floor of the Temple Building downtown. We could see sunsets to the west and a sliver of Lake Ontario to the north. We were very fortunate to

have a life full of romance, friends, and family, and if you had asked me how things were going, my answer would have included some of these highlights—probably accompanied by the word “busy.” Ten years later, I can tell you: Back then, I didn’t know the definition of the word. My life today, with two kids, a career, a home, and a husband, is blessed and full in different ways than it was in my 20s, but “busy” doesn’t even begin to describe it.

for myself and my family, I neglected some of my own needs. It’s no one’s fault; it’s logical to place the needs of my children first, especially when they were babies and their very existence lay in my (and my husband’s) hands. It also makes sense to regularly put in 60 hours/week, since I made the decision to work for myself, and bills still need to be paid. And when I have free time, I prioritize quality time with my family.

When I was younger, my decisions—starting a family, buying a house, and leaving a 9–5 job to focus on growing my own business, among others—felt like they were being made in isolation. But as a parent, everything is interrelated, and little by little, without ever noticing, the life I have today is almost unrecognizable compared to the one I had just 10 years ago. My mother always used to say that the only constant in life is change, and now I understand what she meant.

The realization that struck me as I looked at my neglected makeup collection wasn’t as upsetting as it was empowering. Now that I had gained this insight, it was time to do something about it—to take care of my own needs and take time for self-care.

As I shaped the life I had always dreamed of

One thing I decided to prioritize was good sleep. As much I wouldn’t like it to be true—as a mom and as an entrepreneur—my body and mind have shown me that I need nine hours of sleep. Without it, I just don’t feel fully functional. It’s not just the quantity, but the


quality—I need to have nine hours of restful, sound sleep. Because I’ve accepted that, I’ve chosen to splurge on a high-quality, comfortable mattress for my home. Now that I’ve found one, I look forward to going to sleep, and my bed is like a haven. I see this as an investment in myself and my well-being—my quality of sleep undoubtedly affects the other aspects of my life, and I reap the rewards. I deserve to have a good night’s sleep, and my kids benefit from a well-rested mom, too! Another part of my life with far-reaching effects is my diet, so I’ve started to see a nutritionist to guide me in meal planning. When I’m really busy with my work and family commitments, it’s tough to plan ahead, and she’s helped me prepare meals for myself and the whole family. I’ve prioritized my health in other ways, too, because having two babies changed my body. My Cesarean incision for baby #1 and the

tearing that took place during my VBAC for baby #2 have caused some ongoing pain, so I’ve sought out pelvic floor rehabilitation. If you’re not one of the moms who would benefit from that sort of physical therapy, there are other ways to treat your body well. For you, that might be regular yoga and exercise, therapeutic massage or aromatherapy, acupuncture, and/ or therapy to improve your mental well-being. These may sound like luxurious things to spend money and time on, but making sure I sleep well, eat healthily, and address my lingering pain is anything but luxurious! These were the keys for my own self-care, but I encourage you to find your own. It’s OK to let things go about yourself, but you don’t have to. Give yourself permission to focus on the areas of self-care that you choose. Make yourself a priority, and never apologize for putting yourself first. For me, taking these steps isn’t just for my own

benefit—it’s making me a role model for my kids. I want to show them that even when you’re taking care of others, you shouldn’t forget about your own needs. You only have one body, one mind, and one life, so investing in yourself is essential. And yes, I’ve recently added to my makeup selections. I ordered a few items from NARS— three sets of eyeshadow—because I know I deserve it. Monica Infante is the founder of Babies & Bumps and Toddlers & Tykes, annual events designed to educate parents and connect them with local resources that support their growing families. She lives in Brighton with her husband and two young children.


{ Think opposite }

Do the clothes make the person or the person make the clothes? by alison donaghey

I had my very own, sort of, Pretty Woman moment. You know the scene when she goes in to the snotty expensive store and the woman wouldn’t help her because of the way she was dressed? Then the next day she goes in with all her shopping and tells the sales woman “Big mistake. Huge!” Well I had that happen, sort of. I mean I wasn’t quite Julia Roberts, but alas, who is? There is a shoe store that carries pretty expensive shoes. Not Louboutin (you know the ones with the great red soles… sigh) or Jimmy Choo expensive but they are pricey for the average person. I went in and I was dressed in old, but so very comfy, jeans, and an old pair of Rocket Dog running shoes, not beautiful but super cute and yep, comfy. My hair was tied up as so often is necessary with my curly hair. I walked into the store and was sized up by the three sales people who then decided I wasn’t worthy of their attention or their store and they went back to their obviously very important conversation. Needless to say, on my way to the door, I made some comment to them to the effect of “Damn, I was really in the mood to buy a couple of pairs of shoes today, but I guess you don’t think I am worthy, so I am just going to take my money to Fluevogs down the street.” For those of you who don’t know Fluevogs, stop reading right now and go to their website. Their shoes are ART and I love them. The three sales clerks started fumbling over themselves to keep me in the store but alas. They assessed my ability to 290

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

pay for their shoes by their judgment of my clothes. Big mistake. Huge! How often do we miss out on an opportunity for a client, a friend or just a great conversation because we judge someone by his or her clothes? Let’s face it we do judge people. What else do we have to judge them on in the first fraction of a second that we see them? Are they clean?

Are they richer than me? Poorer? Do they like sports? Are they preppy? Homeless? Did they look in the mirror before they left the house? Should I be scared? Could I talk with them? Do we have anything in common? Should I smile? Yes. We judge. And Yes, we need to because it keeps us safe. Sometimes. The trick is to know we are judging and then pause and proceed with conscious thought. We really have no idea what goes into a person’s fashion choice. Perhaps they are heading to a job interview in borrowed but ill fitting clothes? Maybe they have just come from helping a friend move and are wearing the grungiest track pants and really are not homeless. Maybe the well dressed woman at the food bank is actually recently separated and her ex is withholding funds for food for her and her kids and she is wearing the only clothes she has. And maybe the woman in the old jeans and rocket dogs really just wants a pair of great shoes. There is just so much that goes into the story behind what we wear. It is never as simple as our knee-jerk reaction. Things seldom are, yet we assume we are right about our judgment and the truth is, often we are not. Years ago, I worked at a bank and there was a grubby guy who always came in. The other tellers weren’t all that fond of him. He always looked and sometimes smelled like he needed a shower. I honestly had huge judgment about him but he always ended up at my wicket, which was I think well planned by my coworkers. Before too long I came to like him. He was always kind and even if he asked for things


like $12.50 out of his account or brought in rolls of coin to deposit, he was still a really nice guy. One day he came in (and you probably have guessed where this is going because you are smart that way) and I pulled up his account and he had a TON of money in it. He was so uncomfortable with the money and seemed quite embarrassed that it was transferred to this account and he hated to bother me with it but if I would be so kind as to transfer it. I had to get a supervisor and I was so dumbfounded that I really don’t remember much more of the encounter. He kept coming in asking for odd things and I

kept serving him and we never talked about it. But he was loaded and he was grubby. I often wondered about the story behind him, and his clothes and yes his huge balance. I never heard anything more about the situation and it really was none of my business. Eventually I left the job and never saw him again. But I learned a lot from that man. I had made a big mistake. Huge.

Everyone has a story. Everyone.

Now I play a game with my kneejerk reactions. When I have a thought about someone and what they are wearing. I make up a story about their day to explain their outfit.

And they are all pretty magnificent.

It’s unlikely I am guessing right but it stops me from judging and lets me see them as just people. Life is better when we find ways to see people as more than the sum of their parts. They have good and bad clothes. They are kind and courageous. Complicated and simple. Happy and embarrassed.

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{ picture this }

where dreams come home BY RITA PETTINARO

Beware of your Mortgage Specialist, rely on your Real Estate Agent. As a real estate agent, I can only suggest a mortgage lender can’t force one upon you. Real Estate agents deal with lenders for every transaction and know the ins and outs of how they work. Some can have you living in your new home in less than 45 days and some sit on your file for a month before they even touch it, which can cause you to lose your home, but you will never know it’s because they sat on your file. In the last 6 months, I had three buyers that happen to use the same lender, all three of them lost their homes and, of course, they blamed me. This lender sat on their files and did not process the paperwork accordingly. The buyer had to provide paystubs, income statements, etc., in order to be approved for the mortgage. This is typical of any loan, however, when the lender asks for the same information over and over again because the data you provided is outdated– BEWARE. They sat on your file and now you are out of contract, and the seller has the right to put the home back on the market – through no fault of yours. Because of my recent experience, the attorneys and I have decided to never work with this loan officer again. It has caused grief for the buyer, the seller, the listing agent, the buyer’s agent, and the attorneys. A few buyers and sellers out there don’t really understand the value of a real estate agent. Most think – “wow she showed me a few homes and she gets paid”. Well, if you really trust and work with your agent, you will quickly realize the value that is brought to the table. Your agent knows the marketplace, the lending agents, the paralegals that work very hard with the lender to push your paperwork 292

ROCHESTER WOMAN ONLINE :: AUGUST 2017

to completion, and most of all, they will get you into your dream home if you truly hear the advice that is given on all aspects of the buying cycle. Your agent truly enjoys helping you find that house that you are going to turn into a home. They are excited when you finally make a decision to buy a home. But remember, the hard part is after the offer is accepted. That’s when you start to see your agent work in the background to make sure things are done correctly and on time for you. You may think your agent has disappeared, but, in fact, the hard work has just begun. Ask your agent how to pick a mortgage broker. The topics of discussion should be around 1) Shop around and talk to at least three lenders

to get a sense of the person, the interest rates, and the specifics of the loan they can provide you with 2) Are you a first-time homebuyer? Do you have less-than-stellar credit? Looking for a specific loan type, like VA, USDA or FHA? 3) What is your initial impression of your lender. How did your lender respond to your initial contact? Do they honor their quote? Are they willing to explain things to you or educate you about different choices? Do they proactively discuss the timeline of the loan (estimated closing date, when to lock the rate)? Do they discuss when/ how rates will change? 4) If you need to pay PMI (Private Mortgage Insurance), has the mortgage specialist explained what this is? Make sure your specialist explains how to remove your PMI after you reach your threshold 5) Are you a priority for them? Are they pushing your paperwork along? When will you get the bank appraisal done? When will you get the commitment letter? When will you close after all these check items are completed? 6) Your mortgage specialist should explain things, such as: a. Cash – do’s and don’ts b. Purchasing things like a car during the mortgage process – do’s and don’ts c. Credit cards – do’s and don’ts d. Buying and selling – do’s and don’ts e. Closing cost – how much will you need to close on the home in addition to the price of the home? Don’t worry – your agent explains all this valuable information to you and then you confirm with your mortgage specialist and your attorney. Your agent will work closely with your “closing team” to get your dream home. Your agent is your personal eyes and ears. I look forward to helping you with your search and holding your hand through the entire process.


august

{ calendar of events }

Rochester’s Experience Psychic Fair

Rochester Challenger Miracle Field Grand Opening

location: pin Hide Map Radisson Hotel Rochester Airport

location: 1000 Ridge Rd, Webster (town), New York 14580

TIMe: Aug 26 at 11 AM to Aug 27 at 6 PM more info: rhi_rcny@ carlsonrezidor.com

26

time: 11:00am - 12:00pm more info: https://www. facebook.com/ events/1340973219354046/

26

Yoga: Mind, Body, and Brew location: Fairport Brewing Company TIMe: 10:30 AM - 12 PM more info: https://www.facebook.com/ events/326080267832969/

26

Best of Foo Rodeo w/ S Els

location The Scotch

TIMe: 3 PM

more https://www com/events/24

27


od Truck Something se

location: cotch House Pub

M - 7 PM

info: www.facebook. 40857066436425/

7

september

{ calendar of events }

Roc The Park: Motown and Soul

location: Martin Luther King Jr. Park at Manhattan Square TIMe: 2 at 6 PM more info: https://www.facebook. com/events/141478046388460/

2

Wine and Design with Pitty Love Rescue!

location: 4165 Buffalo Road, Suite E, Rochester, New York 14624 TIMe: 6:00pm more info: wineanddesign.com

9

Rochester Small Business Job Fair

location: 540WMain Community Learning Academy 540 West Main Street, Rochester, New York TIMe: 10 AM - 2 PM more info: https://www.facebook. com/events/450148852015746/

9


RWO August 2017  

Welcome to the August FASHION edition of Rochester Woman Online with the legendary Diane Chevron gracing our cover. Please be sure to check...