DON'T MAN UP
www.icenimagazine.co.uk
Issue 82 2020
Don’t Man Up, It’s Good To Talk
Men seem so good at cracking a joke or keeping busy with hobbies, over-working or hiding in their man caves to distract themselves from their emotional reaction to the unforeseen traumas and losses that life throws at us. When we are happy or receive good news, we want to share it with the important people in our lives (and even those who aren’t in our lives get splashed with our excitement). When we receive sad or bad news, it should be exactly the same - both emotions need equal expression. Yet society seems to have programmed men to be the strong one in the family, the one who doesn’t fall apart or let the tears show. The truth is, you can’t be anything for anyone, the best thing you can be is honest. Verbalising and sharing our feelings and grief with honesty about what we are feeling helps us to process our emotion in the present moment and connects us
to what is going on around us. We also begin to understand each other on a deeper level, human to human. Verbalising our emotions at the time we experience them is a powerful release and can help prevent a build-up of tension which can manifest and take its toll in many different ways - whether through anger or other damaging emotions. I find that anger tends not to be an emotion in its own right but stems from either sadness or fear. Next time you feel angry, ask yourself what you are frightened of or what is making you sad. Are boys programmed in childhood? In these days of social media, children already have a hard enough time fitting in, so how do we help a child through loss and how can we encourage them to deal with their losses comfortably, confidently and above all, not
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