WHAT CAN YOU DO?
Remember that parenting, especially adoptive parenting should be first and foremost about maintaining a relationship with your child that continuously reminds them that they belong, that they are loved, and that they are worthy of love for the rest of their life.
QTIP! (Quit Taking It Personally) It’s hard,
but try not to take their steps toward independence personally. It’s what they are supposed to do! If you support their independence, they will likely turn back to you.
Quality Time. Spend dedicated,
Be Involved. Attend school events and
show interest in their interests and hobbies. Support their exploration of different activities and interests. It fosters selfdiscovery and passion.
Focus on Connection. Building a
uninterrupted time together doing activities your child enjoys to strengthen your connection.
supportive relationship where your child feels valued and understood will lay a strong foundation for their emotional and social development.
Show Empathy. Acknowledge your
Communicate Openly. Create an
child’s feelings and perspectives even if you disagree. It helps them feel heard and understood. Pay close attention to what your child says and how they feel. Reflect their emotions to show understanding.
Encourage Independence. Support
environment where your child feels safe to talk about anything. You will not always like what they do or say, so be open and nonjudgmental in your responses.
Adjust Expectations. Your child may
their efforts to do things on their own. Offer guidance but allow them to problem-solve and make decisions.
struggle with the developmental tasks typical for children their age. Be patient and remember that their chronological age may not match their developmental stage.
Celebrate Achievements. Recognize and
Validate Their Emotions. Be sure your
praise their accomplishments, big and small. It boosts self-esteem and encourages further effort.
child knows it’s okay to have mixed feelings about the idea that their adoption. They need space and permission to explore both the happiness and the pain associated with their story.
Need further assistance or support? We’re here to help!
An Insider’s Guide to understanding developmental stages in permanency.
7-9 years
Dear Parents and Caregivers,
DID YOU KNOW…
We are excited to share with you our new Insider’s Guide to understanding developmental stages in permanency. It was created to provide you with guidance, resources, and quick tips specific to the ages of your children. The realities of caring for any child can change year to year (if not day to day!). This is especially true for children like yours whose stories include separation from their birth parents and a difficult early history. As they grow, new challenges arise. Sometimes, problems surface due to developmental or capacity issues previously unidentified and unanticipated. Other times, troubles are due to new questions your child has about their story. A child’s perspective and understanding of their story changes at different developmental stages. Therefore, we will be sending you this Insider’s Guide each time your child enters a new age range. We hope that this guidance will assist you in navigating the challenges as they arise. Although every guardianship, permanent guardianship, and adoption journey is different, there is one constant – caregivers need connection and support! We wanted to take this chance to remind you about post-permanency services that are available to you here in Delaware. We encourage you to connect to these services as often as possible, even if no major challenges have arisen just yet. When you’re familiar with the supports and have already built connections, it is easier to reach out when you need to. Staff members at each of the agencies included below, are available whenever issues arise for your family. In addition to individualized support, regularly scheduled trainings and support groups are available. These services are available at no cost to any family that has adopted a child or received guardianship or permanent guardianship of a child. We firmly believe that all families do better when they are supported and that this is especially true for families that have been uniquely created. Support is just a phone call away! We hope to hear from you because we are here for you.
Laurie Lattomus, LCSW Post Permanency Guardianship Program Support Navigator
Post Permanency Support Services can provide your family with individualized supports such as:
· Parent Coaching · School Advocacy · Sibling Supports · Rec-n-Respite Program · Adoption Subsidy Assistance · Navigating Birth Family Relationships
· Recommendations for Therapeutic Services
A Better Chance for Our Children’s
Upstate: first Friday of every month! Call 302-746-7265 for more information. Downstate: fourth Friday of every month! Call 302-725-5008 for more information.
Kent/Sussex Counties
New Castle County
Email Celeste Bishop at cbishop@abcfoc.org
Email Katie Quirico at kquirico@abcfoc.org
Monthly Workshop/Training: third Tuesday of every month! (A new topic each month.) Call 302-725-5008 for more information.