New Year SELF-CARE Issue 6 Beautiful Articles from Strong Women
Story: I am Busy!
Featured Coach: Health in the New Decade!
Quote Page
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Hey there ladies,
Letter Quote From Page Editor
This month we decided to focus on Self-Care!! Pretty perfect for coming out of the busy Holiday Season, starting the New Year, and creating an amazing year for ourselves, don’t you think? It’s so easy to take care of everyone else and completely ignore our needs.
I LOVE the seemingly-new focus I have seen lately of women finally learning to give themselves their best first, and THEN giving to everyone around them. It just makes sense. So, welcome to our “Love Yourself-Love Letter.” I know you will enjoy this edition as much as I have. The stories and articles our G.A.L.S. wrote are heartfelt and genuine. I hope you are having an amazing year so far, and I hope we can help it to be just a little bit better. I will leave you with this: You are a Diamond. You have a great purpose. May everyone you meet be RICHLY blessed from knowing you! Love, Myhriah Young
What You Will Self Help Issue Letter from the Editor
2
Contributor Page
5-6
Busy
7
Mindnumbing Mindfulness
13
Rita’s Quilt
15
Find in Here: January 2020
211.org
21
Self-Care
27
Health in the New Decade
33
The Inspiring GALS behind this beautiful publication:
Kandie King-Author Amanda Goff-Photographer
Mind-numbing Mindfulness
Pages 12, 29 Silver Keys Media http://silverkeysmedia.com/
Kristi Straight-Author Rita’s Quilt
PattyLynn Gossman-Author EVER Skin Care Specialist
Sammy Gossman-Author
www.everskin.com/with/ pattylynn
Self-Care Daughter of PattyLynn
We hope yo
Featured Coach: Kathy Tarbell-Author & Photographer I am Busy www.mthoodphotography.com
Melony Buenger-Author, Coach, Speaker Health in the New Decade! www.melonybuenger.com
Cara Kangas-Author
ou will enjoy our articles and Pictures!!
Photo Credits for this article: Mt. Hood Photography
Busy By Kathy Tarbell The persistent small buzz and tingle at my wrist woke me. A gentle tap on the side button shows 5:00AM. Quick and quiet I roll out of bed pad to the adjacent bathroom and pull on the workout outfit left out the night before. A fast face wash, hair pulled through an elastic band, a brushing of teeth, and I escape the room with my husband still fast asleep. I maneuver through the silent house, and pull the Lexus out of the garage. The trip to the gym is a fast one-even in the pitch black with windshield wipers going full speed. What can I say about my work out? I am not 20 anymore, as my college girlfriends like to remind me at our monthly get-togethers. So, I dutifully attend at least 4 classes a week, hit the yoga studio frequently, and give the elliptical and treadmill some time as well.
By 7:30 I have breakfast laid out on the granite bar in the center island of the farmhouse kitchen. Hand my husband his coffee and his packed lunch as he escapes to his corporate management position. I hurry to get the kids up and dressed for the day. My seven-year-old daughter is quick to point out mommy’s cellulite that is clearly visible below my workout shorts. The day moves at breakneck speed. I am busy! Busy with school drop off, busy volunteering in a 4th-grade classroom, busy running errands, busy coaching volleyball, busy making plans for the weekend with my parents. Mom reminds me that my outfit for lunch on Sunday must be stunning as she has invited her church ladies to join us at her club. I call the salon and beg for an appointment the next day for a color touch up, cut, and add a wax as well. The next call is for a mani-pedi. If I forgo lunch tomorrow, I can just squeeze it in. Better to plan on being perfectly groomed. Who knows what style dress I will find. Amazon Prime is my friend as I next day order a sparkly blue number size 6. Good thing I will be missing lunch tomorrow, as a matter of fact, better skip dinner tonight as well.
The house is finally quiet. Kids fed, bathed and tucked in. Husband softly snoring after having a nightcap while he watched the day's sports highlights. I long for a glass of wine in the tub but know the moment I try it a child will appear needing something. So, I sit on the couch in the great room. Surrounded by toys waiting to be put away and laundry that needs to be folded. I scroll through Facebook. Looking for something‌ some quote of the day or magic remedy to make me sparkle. I look through my feed and see all the amazing pictures I have posted, kids smiling faces, beautiful meals I prepared, a funny anecdote about the dry cleaner, selfie at the fun photoshoot I did with a local Boudoir photographer last week.
She told me how amazing I am, treated me like a queen and admired the lingerie I brought. I drank mimosas and shared girl talk, discussed art and my passions and dreams. She encouraged me to see myself as a remarkable, talented, brilliant, gorgeous, kick-ass woman and wanted me to use the images we took to remind of it every day. I blatantly said that I have no private space in my house for such intimate pictures. Her images of me were at first glance so incredibly & powerfullybeautiful! Then I remembered; I work out and skip meals to be a size 6, always a 4 before kids, I am not 20 anymore, I have cellulite on my legs, I need salon appointments and pretty dresses, what if someone else sees images of me looking sexy.
I close my FB app and I tell myself, “No, Sparkle! You're fine, you're good, you're worthy……. Buuuuut, I am not sure I believe it.
I am busy!
Photo Credit: Silver Keys Media
“The REAL difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself.” -Maya Angelou
Mind-numbing
Mindfulness
By Kandi King I was first introduced to Mindfulness about nine years ago. At first, I somewhat brushed it off. “Yeah, mindfulness-pfft,” was my attitude. Being mindful equaled being aware in my book, so I just assumed that it was just being aware of what you were doing while you were doing it. Pretty easy, right?! Well, kinda. What I’ve learned is that this mindfulness stuff is as subtle as noticing the slightest change in my body, or my brain. Being mindful isn’t necessarily all about recognizing that the sky is blue or what the forest smells like, instead it is more about how that sky makes you feel. Being mindful is also realizing that my actions cause other people’s actions and vice versa. Every day I hear someone complaining. Whether it is about the driver that cut them off, or the slowpoke holding up the line at the store- their boss, their coworker, the kids—and on, and on. I too am guilty of complaining about this or that, but I now work to be more mindful. In these moments, I try to: -Think that maybe that driver needs to go to the bathroom really bad, -Or maybe they have a family member in the hospital, -Etc. If I am able to see these people as experiencing pain or discomfort THEN I can be more forgiving and in turn, I get more peace when I don’t let that stuff bother me. Mindfulness keeps you in the moment-fully feeling everything that comes. Practicing mindfulness has given me better control over my anxiety and it has given me deeper empathy for those around me. I have always been able to sit still when I’m uncomfortable, antsy and even excited, but now I can fully describe to you every sensation in my body while I am having those feelings. If you have never tried to have a practice of being mindful, or if you have the same reaction I initially did, I challenge you to dig deeper into this. Read a few articles and try an exercise or two a day and see what happens for you. You may be very surprised by what it opens up for you.
Here are a few articles that may help you further explore this topic. https://www.mindful.org/what-is-mindfulness/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/mindfulness https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2018/04/less-stress-clearer-thoughts-with-mindfulnessmeditation/
Rita’s Quilt A story “in proper thread form” By Kristi Straight
My name is Kristi Straight. I usually laugh when The News reports on a social-media occurrence, but I am really happy Shannon “Badass Cross Stitch” Downey is getting media coverage for Rita’s Quilt. I think she is a great example of our type of G.A.L.S. For more details, writer Sarah Steimer has a well-reported article on Chicagomag.com: [http://www.chicagomag.com/artsculture/December-2019/The-ViralQuilt-Comes-Together-At-Last/#/0].
Shannon Downey is described as a “craftivist” who embroiders political art under the name Badass Cross Stitch.
The story of Rita’s Quilt starts at a September estate sale when Shannon finds two projects of Rita Smith’s craftwork and peaks by Christmas time as thousands are brought together to watch the completion of the massive embroidered quilt.
I read the Pinned Tweet on Shannon’s Badass Cross Stitch Twitter account in October. It begins “A story… (in proper thread form).” I was hooked. The first tweet has a photograph of the United States in a frame that Rita embroidered. Shannon bought it for $5, the plastic tub full of the fabric pieces, and map of the unfinished quilt for $6, because she knew she had to complete it.
There is joy in reading the thread account (I recommend checking it out), and I do not want to spoil the story for anyone, but Rita was personally inspiring enough for Shannon to call on her Instagram community to help her. She needed assistance due to the scope of the project but also because her skills were in embroidering and not in quilting. Amazingly over 1,000 volunteers offered to help. Having worked in volunteer coordination myself, I know it’s hard. In that position, you often have to just be happy with what the volunteer wants to give in terms of time and effort. The more organized the coordination, the better. I have a love of spreadsheets and Shannon said she had a massive one for this. Completed work was due back by November 15.
The coordination paid off and the volunteers came through. All the work was done by the deadline (all but four stars were returned; Shannon had a built-in back-up plan that accounted for half of the items not coming back). The volunteers also bonded through online chats and got to know more about Rita as they found out she was a nurse and located a photo from her high school yearbook.
On December 7th, 35 sewers came together in-person to hand -piece the top of the quilt. By this time, Shannon had gotten press attention and even Kelly Clarkson’s show sent cameras to film. Shannon dedicated the day to Rita and “all those who have been stitching and making since the dawn of time and sharing their stories.�
Shannon’s appearance on the Kelly Clarkson show as a Good Neighbor segment aired on December 17th. She appeared with Blake Shelton and Jameela Jamil. I have replayed that show quite a few times and it still gets me every time. Show SPOILER: There is a background package on the story, footage of the quilting day, the finished quilt drops down, and Rita’s family provided pictures of her with a message that they are very private, but that she would have enjoyed the community Shannon brought together. https://twitter.com/ShannonDowney/status/1207093461062692864?s=20 https://www.kellyclarksonshow.com/video/quilters-from-across-the-country -honor-a-stranger-in-the-most-amazing-way/4085760
This is a great story, but to me, it is the crafter at the center telling the story that I admire most. While a friend and I often say, “that should go on a pillow,” Shannon actually makes those samplers (sometimes profanity is included). It has been her kindness in her interactions with everyone as she is getting all this attention that has stood out to me. I even fangirl tweeted her a picture of my handed-down doily as many were doing and she totally tweeted me back!
The last quote of the Chicagomag.com article has her saying “It’s super important to me that this group understands that I do not believe that this quilt is mine in any way. It is ours.” This may have been tested (or not, considering her response) when she let us know that no less than five guys had tried to buy Rita’s Quilt. I am wishing Shannon Downey all the happiness and success she can handle on the adventure she created putting together Rita’s Quilt! The next chapter to follow is a tour after the quilt spends some time on display at the National Quilt Museum in Kentucky. I am sure the tour will highlight Shannon’s larger personal goal of putting attention on art that is traditionally done by women. https://www.gofundme.com/f/badass-cross-stitch-tour? utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet I also feel a movie about it coming and hope Hollywood gets it right! (Reece Witherspoon?)
Find Your Resources
Hello! My name is Cara Kangas and I work for 211info as the agency’s Manager of Outreach and Emerging Services. My story with 211info began in 2011 as a Community Information Specialist, answering phone calls from folks seeking assistance with community resources. I dabbled here and there in outreach events, as opportunities arose. After a brief hiatus working as a housing case manager, I returned to the agency in mid-2016, working on our Outreach and Resource database teams, fully engrossed in spreading the good word about 211info’s services. I currently manage our Outreach team members, field outreach requests, and travel around our 40 county service region providing presentations, building partnerships with community-based organizations and stakeholders, and bring a face to the name of 211. Here is a bit of background on the agency for this month’s publication.
Since 2004, 211info has served as a single point of contact for empowering Oregon and Southwest Washington communities by helping people identify, navigate and connect with the local resources they need.
Anyone can connect to 211info by: • • • • •
Dialing 211 from their phone Monday-Friday 8 am-6 pm; Texting their zip code to 981211 Sending and email to help@211info.org Monday-Friday 9am-5pm Searching 211 info online database Mobile app 24/7
All contacts with 211info are free, live, confidential and anonymous. At its core, 211info connects people to programs that address the social determinants of health: the conditions in which people are born, grow, live, work and age. Some of these safety-net resources include support around • housing (maintaining and acquiring) • homelessness prevention • utility assistance • nutrition • transportation • health care • domestic violence programs • child care • behavioral health supports • emergency incident response • culturally specific programs
Staff are trained in active listening, community resources, equity, assertive engagement, and trauma-informed care. 211info has a strong commitment to equity. The Equity Team develops and advises an equity plan, focusing on both internal and external practices. This includes hiring and retaining a diverse staff in terms of race/ethnicity, socioeconomic background, gender identity, age, and life experience All staff have access to an interpreter line with 240 languages. Many people who call, text, or email 211info present a specific, simple need, such as help locating a food box. We know that situations are often more complex, and by utilizing active listening skills and asking the right questions, a food box request may lead to referrals to housing or a community clinic. But situations are often more complex. Clients often have multiple needs, such as a pregnant 24-year-old veteran who is living in her car, or a single parent experiencing stress-related health problems and who can’t find stable child care.
Community information specialists provide resource information and also give callers the experience of talking with a live person who listens with compassion. Here are comments from 211info callers that illustrate the kind of service provided by contact center staff:
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“I spent five hours trying to find out the information you found in 30 seconds.”
“We might have eventually been able to find help on our own, but I’m convinced that by contacting 211info my wife averted a major mental health crisis.”
“Calling 211 actually gave us hope instead of that feeling of drowning. It gave us someplace to turn to.”
“I’m 43 years old and I’ve never had to struggle like this in my life. First the divorce, then becoming a single dad, and now losing my job. I really don’t know what I would have done without your referrals. These were things that I never even knew about before.”
The 211info database is updated by a resource team that works closely with community partners throughout the service area. Staff members participate in a range of health and human services networks, conduct trainings, attend meetings and community events, and maintain relationships that have existed for 15 years.
211info also offers specialty program information around topics such as: Maternal and Child Health
Reproductive and sexual health
Foster Parent Support
Child Care Resources
Food Access
Severe Weather Information
Transportation for Breast Cancer Treatment Coordinated Entry for Homeless Services Holiday Programs
Income Tax Preparation
Pesticide Information
Health Insurance Emergency Incident Response
If you or someone you know are looking for community resources, reach out to us! I recommend: Calling us directly OR taking a look at our website: www.211info.org There you’ll find a plethora of information, including a data dashboard where you can see what resources people are requesting. We’re also active on Facebook and Instagram @211info And of course, if you have any specialty outreach needs, drop me a line at cara.kangas@211info.org.
Self Care By Sammy Gossman
Every day we are bombarded with hundreds of articles and websites and posts from famous Instagram influencers about selfcare and how we need to implement it into our lives because of the radical change it did for them for their mental health. But what does self-care really mean to me? With all these articles and opinions how do we know which one is true? The catch is that each person views themselves differently and we are all especially hard on ourselves about how we look and act around others. So self-care will look different from person to person.
Self-care, this somewhat new concept, is about looking at yourself, seeing your worth, and treating yourself with the respect and the love you deserve. It is about listening to your needs and your pains. It is about wanting to make a positive change in your life. It is about loving yourself deeper than you ever have before. It is about putting yourself first sometimes. It is about being confident in who you are because you realize that you are worth more than what this world can give you.
Picture Cred: Silver Keys Media
Where do we start?
Well grab a cup of coffee, take a seat, and relax. While you are relaxing, think about what makes you happy, think about something that makes you feel relaxed and happy inside. Follow the instructions of our dear friend, Marie Kondo, and only have the stuff in your life that “sparks joy” for you in one way or another. There are many different ways to practice self-care but most importantly it is about taking care of yourself and treating your body like a temple. It is the only one you are going to get in this life so treat it that way! Some easy and fun ways to practice self-care on a day–today basis are: -getting a sleep schedule, -eating healthy, -making healthy relationships with good people, -doing some sort of exercise: yoga , running, or going to the gym. See, it’s easy, and even kinda fun Just choose things that are healthy and at the same time make you feel good; ones you are excited to do.
Give yourself positive reasons to want to get out of bed in the morning. Most importantly make sure to save sometime in your busy schedule for some you time, to do the things that "spark joy." I like to spend this time doing a face mask, painting my nails, listening to music, playing guitar, doing art, or reading a good book with some coffee. And sometimes I like to spend my free time watching a cheesy romcom while I shovel popcorn into my mouth. So, do you think you can integrate self care into your lives? If you do, I promise that you will start to feel better about yourself and others around you will notice a positive change in your life too.
“A
Bird doesn’t
Sing
because it has an answer,
it sings -Maya Angelou
“
because it has a song.
Featured Coach: Health in the New Decade!
Have you decided to set a resolution for the start of this new year and beginning of a new decade? 2020 might just be your kick-off for that new goal and new you in the coming year. You might find yourself saying I need to set my targets out, get clear, and map out each step of the way. Do you face your goals like you are “all in” or not? It is amazing to me an event like New Years, a birthday, or upcoming special event can leave us saying, “Now is the time!” We need an excuse to motivate us to start. We have to find the right plan because we have tried so many and they didn’t work for us. Maybe in the past, you have even started out strong and then find yourselves saying well not today.
You and I are not that different! I have found myself in the same situations several times and have learned that whatever you call it a resolution, goal or target. You have to make a decision and DECIDE you are doing it for yourself. I have coached hundreds of people along the way and know that you can not do it for anyone else or event to make a lasting change. Those things can motivate you and get you going, but to have lasting results we need to choose ourselves. Choosing ourselves allows us to create lasting lifestyle changes and the layering of new habits along the way to make a new decade different from the last The key is in you deciding to do something different. Once you make a decision I believe you are halfway there. There can be no more - I will start again tomorrow! Are you ready to say yes to yourself and join me today? One thing I have learned in the last year is to be kind to myself and try new things. There are lots of different tools out there and I have a few new ones that I love, and old ones that are like best friends. I have coached and encouraged people on their health now for over fifteen years. But the truth is they are just tools and we have to choose to use them, stick to them and stay focused on the outcome we want to create.
Giving yourself grace is important to know you will make mistakes along the way. You did not get where you are right now overnight and you will not get back to that high school weight, your favorite jeans, or pre-baby body overnight. We have to learn new habits and take different small actions each day. I have tried some new tools this last year that are helping me experience more energy, and weight loss. I love them! They have been game changers and made the journey easier. But My excuses were sexy! Those excuses were not getting me the results I was looking for. Can you relate? Having the right tools did me no good until I decided to make myself a priority, forgiving myself for putting some of the weight I had lost back on, and having a mindset shift focused on the health I wanted in my life. I had to decide to keep layering new habits each week and day along the way for a lasting outcome and change.
Here is a powerful tool we all have and may or may not be using. Most of us don’t realize how powerful our thoughts are, nor do we realize how or why we are creating those thoughts. This is important because if you want to have a different experience and different results, changing your thoughts and self-talk is an absolute MUST! Your thoughts are a result of your programming and beliefs, both of which can be changed with some purposeful perspective shifts.
I invite you to make an identity shift this year. You have created the version of you that you are today and the great news is you can create an “improved” version of yourself if that’s your desire. People often identify with behaviors that they are in the habit of having...even when the habits no longer are serving them.
It can be more difficult to try to make a change from the person you have been until now. Rather, focus on the version of you that you desire to create and act as if you are her or him now....and watch how quickly you catch up with that vision of who you desire to become. •
What do they eat, say, feel, think?
•
What are their priorities?
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What excuses do they not make?
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How do they move their body?
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How do they treat themselves? Others?
We will be here cheering you on!
Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want or what you think you’re losing.
What we focus on, we find. If you’re approaching your goals and lifestyle in a way that’s focusing on what you can’t have or what you can’t do, you’re going to find yourself resentful. Instead, think of and focus on what you GET to have and GET to do.
A negative perspective is going to make this journey harder, especially since we are our own worst enemy when it comes to change. We are programmed to avoid change. So, focusing on the negative sends a message to your brain that this change isn’t good. If you’re cutting out fast food, don’t focus on what you can’t have, instead focus on what you get to have instead and how you get to fuel your body well as an act of love. If you’re beginning a workout routine, don’t focus on how difficult it feels or that you’re not able to do some of the difficult movements. Instead, focus on how incredible you’re going to feel afterwards and the good it’s doing for your body. Don’t look at your progress and be disappointed with where you are or if you experienced some hiccups along the way, focus on what you want to achieve in the future and that each and every step in that direction is progress, no matter how small! Too often we set out on a path toward our goals and become distracted by the pain of change or the pain of letting old habits die. We focus on what we see as the negative areas of change, and that becomes all we can see. Then when all we see is negative, what is the motivation to keep going? We have to continue to work on our mindset muscle and train it to build its strength and resistance.
A perspective shift makes a dramatic difference. You must look for and focus on the positive. You will find this is powerful and choosing to build the mindset muscle your goal is closer, more fun and is no longer impossible as you once may have felt. I am excited about 2020 and what is ahead. I am looking for people who want to join me on my health journey and need encouragement and accountability. When we surround ourselves with like-minded people we create more amazing results, find the type of support, encouragement and activities that support our overall goals. Be that in our faith, family, fitness or finances. This new decade is yours and I challenge you to say yes to yourself and your goals. Build your mindset muscle, use the tools you have, be open to trying new systems and plans. Be kind to yourself, forgive yourself and know change is okay and can even be good. Make a decision to say yes to each goal be it large or small. Be committed to the outcome you are looking for and find the right people to surround you.
Connect with me on social media (clickable links):
OR Visit my website: www.melonybuenger.com Let's schedule a time to chat about the results you are going to create. One thing is for sure that if we don't start today... tomorrow will be the same. I believe in you and would love to have you join me on my journey. Happy New Years and Cheers to health in the new decade as you Release U!