Fashion & Style
TIPS
from Julie Udell
Practical Skills for Positive Living with PattyLynn
Conversations with Coco
Cosette Leary Shares with us how to find your
Y-O-U
Myhriah
Shares with us her struggles around the holidays and how she mitigates the stress
PLUS 5 tips and tricks to
avoid Zoom Brain from Amanda on page 26 Amy shares with us a New Year Mindset on page 48 Susan shares with us a delicious quick recipe on page 58 G.A.L.S Junior on page 74
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2
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Winter Celebrations
12-17
Featured Coach: Judy Udell
18-25
Finding Coco
28-37
Going Deep
38-39
PattyLynn’s Troop Corner
40-47
New Year Mindset
48-51
Success Amid Covid
52-57
The Good Muffin
58-65
Home for the Holidays
66-71
Junior G.A.L.S
74-79
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WELCOME From the G.A.L.S.
SHE.E.O. Myhriah Young
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Hey GALS,
Welcome to the end of 2020!! As we are all ready to kick this year out-the-door with a resounding “Good riddance,” I can’t help thinking that we have no idea what 2021 is going to bring, and that’s somewhat scary. This year has provided much heart-ache; with loss of jobs, sickness, political chaos, and a complete disruption to our systems & programs. Beauty has come too, and for those who found it, that beauty has been more profound than the issues at hand. Many of us were so excited for the plans we had for 2020, and boy did that take a complete plunge off a cliff!
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GALS DIRECTORS
Myhriah Young Founder & She.E.O. of GALS
Kandie King Publication Director
Amanda Goff Communication Arts Director
PattyLynn Gossman Troop Director
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It’s because of this, I find myself cautiously tip-toeing toward making goals for 2021. Is it even going to be possible to do the things we want to do next year? Since we have no way to tell, the Directors and I am making plans, especially for GALS, knowing that each plan needs a Plan A, B, C‌...all the way to Z, lol. With that being said, we are going to make some plans for 2021, and I am super, yet cautiously, excited for them. You can rest assured that each event is being given much thought in the way of making alternative plans. We are re-evaluating our goals for having them in the first place, and the thing we keep coming back to is that we want to nurture an intentional community of connection through growing, empowerment, encouragement, and of course fun! So, we are moving forward. We will be looking at how we can add value in the ways that we are able. Turn the page to see some of the events to look forward to in the upcoming months.
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With the conversation about wanting to add value, also comes the topic of BOSS GALS. We introduced this idea several months ago, and some of you might be wondering what has happened to it. I want to apologize for the delay with getting this program up and running, however there is a pretty good reason for it. We want to make sure that BOSS GALS is jam-packed with value! With the all the ebbing & flowing we have had to do with 2020, we decided to push it back to February of 2021 to make sure that when we roll it out it is absolutely AMAZING! We have a lot of big plans for those of you joining us for BOSS GALS! Information will be coming out soon, so please stay tuned. Myself and the Directors want you to know how blessed we are by each of you. We are so glad that you are here, and we hope to continue to have many ways for you to connect with us and one another. From us to you, we wish you a wonderful Holiday season, and a very happy New Year.
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Hello G.A.L.S.! As we wrap up in 2020, I am left with a lot to reflect on. Our year has been a year of great chaos and change. With change comes a lot of mixed emotions. Fear used to rule my life when it came to any significant change, but then I was forced to change my schedule every quarter. With that, I learned that not all change is bad. Change signifies growth in my life. Anytime I am met with changing something, it often elevates me to newer heights. This ideology is true for me in both my personal and professional life. As we walk into 2021, I am pleased to let you know that there will be several changes to the publication! Some of these changes are included in this issue, and others will be revealed in our March issue. I am happy to share with you that this issue brings you our beginning of Junior G.A.L.S. We created this space where we can spotlight the youth in our community and give them a place for their creativity. We have also added a space to share recipes with you, and we have included future G.A.L.S. events so that you can add those dates to your calendar. I hope that you are all well as we approach the holiday season and that your family has been able to adapt to the changing landscape of the world as we fight Covid-19.
With love and gratitude, Kandie
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If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t really living. ~Gail Sheehy
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Winter Co Cel By PattyLynn Gossman
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lebrations ontents 2020Style A
s we face the winter holidays, including Christmas, Kwanza, Hanukkah, New Year’s Eve, and Valentine’s Day, it can be hard to plan. Our holiday traditions feel threatened by Covid19 and socially distancing guidelines this year. So, how do we make it special, celebrate our traditions and be safe for our families? Here are some ideas on how to celebrate and enjoy the holidays in our current state.
Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza I like to ask my family which traditions we should do each year. This helps me as the mom (and family “activities director”) to include those items which are particularly important for each family member. There are certain foods, gifts, and events that bring joy to us and our families.
Food There are some holiday food traditions around our house. In my family, we love to celebrate together by eating homemade clam chowder on Christmas eve, Christmas cookies, fudge, hot mulled apple cider, my caramel apple pie, and a “grazing table” on Christmas day. On Christmas morning, we also love a special breakfast together. Ask your family what foods define their celebration. You may be surprised at what they like and don’t really like. Food traditions are important because they make us feel safe, loved, and nourished. 13
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Presents
Gifts are a big part of these winter celebrations. But as many of our jobs have been impacted by Covid19, buying gifts can be a source of stress as funds are tight. By getting creative with your gifts, you will be able to save money. You can either make your gifts or buy your presents when they go on sale. I believe Christmas should not be all about gifts; it is about family time and celebrating together.
My kids usually write me a wish list. They know they do not get everything on their Christmas wish list… but I want to make sure the gift I get them is wanted or needed. It is meant to share happiness together.
Gifts have traditions too. The traditions of families gathering together around the tree opening gifts together with all the cousins will be different for you. More gifts will be shipped or delivered, consider opening on FaceTime. Thank you notes will be more important too as we will not be there to see the joy and delight as the gift is opened. Holiday gift-giving is special and important.
Events Christmas events make the holidays magical and create traditions. Our local
favorites, Peacock Lane and Miracle of a Million Lights have already been canceled. But I hear Winter Wonderland (our drive-through light display at the raceway) will be open! A lot of Christmas events we normally do have been canceled, so it is very important to be sure to make time and create new events to make Christmas special. For example, you could drive around town with the kids and unofficially judge neighborhood light displays. Instead of attending a Christmas choir concert we can put on some favorite Christmas music and drink our hot cocoa around our own Christmas tree. Instead of a Christmas play, put on a Christmas movie and have a family night in.
New Years Eve Celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of another is a huge tradition that is enjoyed worldwide! Most years this is a time of big parties and much merriment. Unfortunately for us in 2020, firework displays and parties have been canceled, even the NYC Times Square’s ball drop will be virtual. So what is the best way to ring in the new year? We need to find a way to celebrate in a new way which keeps everyone safe. This is truly a time to celebrate. A ‘strange’ year is over and we are heading into 2021 with as much positivity as we can muster…So it’s time for a celebration! Here are a few ways to do this safely by celebrating, connecting and positivity. 14
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Connection Truly connect with a friend. Whether you’re in person or virtually connecting make sure to spend time relating to one another to combat the feelings of being lonely and disconnected. Ask those great caring questions (how are you feeling, how is work, family situations). Play a fun game, get a list of trivia questions. Play truth or dare! Connect deeply with each other. Human connection is healing. 16
ontents Wrapped in Covid Confidence and Positivity Spend some time to reflect on the positives of 2020. Share your highs and lows of 2020. Make plans or wishes for 2021. Speak some hopes and prayers for the new year. It is important to speak hopefully for 2021 especially if you have little kiddos at home. There is hope for the future. As adults, we can look at the pandemics of history and see that they came and went. This pandemic will pass. But to our children it feels scary and as if things have forever been changed. We don’t know the future but we can have hope that together we will get through it. And we can focus on the good things that are happening around us.
Valentine’s Day I have a love-hate relationship with Valentine’s Day. I alternately love the gifts and cards and balloons and candy and then hate the commercialism of all the pink heart-shaped items for sale. It makes Valentine’s Day very expensive and feels very cheap at the same time. But most often I appreciate a day reminding us to tell our friends and family that we love and appreciate them. We do not say it enough. If ever there was a year to tell those you love them…it’s now. We need to tell those in our life we love them. So get those sappy Valentine cards and send them out. Order a bouquet for your mom or your sister. Bake your honey their favorite treat. Spread the love in whatever way you can. 17
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Featured Coach
Julie Udell: Personal Wardrobe Stylist Shared by Myhriah Young 18
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I have the opportunity to introduce you ladies to Julie Udell as this Publication's Featured Coach. Our initial conversation was SO inspiring. When we had coffee, I was in the thick of my job search for my current job. Hearing her story of how she worked her way up in the retail world to be where she's at today was instrumental for me. I had a few offers on the table and was indecisive about my options, but after our chat, I knew that I wanted to work at Lane Bryant, so I could uplift and encourage women with their wardrobes, just as she has done. The work she does is so key in helping women love themselves more, and I knew I wanted her to come teach here in GALS. If you missed her week long workshop, make sure to check out her unit in our Facebook group. I am so excited to share her with you! A Retail Exec Julie has always been in love with fashion. As a little girl, she chose all kinds of crazy things to put together, joking that it probably didn't look great, but it was the foundation for what she does today. It was all about expressing herself through her clothing. In high school, Julie had a 30-day rotation of clothes, never wearing the same outfits within a month. "I fell into retail and I loved it. I started as a retail associate at a very small company at the time called Chicos. I knew the owners, and they were designers. They designed the product, so I had access to the designs, and what it took to design the clothing, and just grew up in retail, and eventually ended up an executive in retail," she conveys with much enthusiasm. She was very fortunate to work with several women's clothing companies that were designer-owned & operated. This gave her a deeper understanding of design and the issues of what women go through with clothing design. 19
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Personal Wardrobe Stylist Julie's business is Styling with Julie in Vancouver, WA. She works with women to help them discover their Style, so they can feel comfortable, confident & styled. She wants YOU to have a wardrobe that communicates your signature style and fits your lifestyle. How you show up in the world reflects how people perceive you and how you perceive yourself. Julie says, "We have 3 seconds to make a good first impression. So we want to make sure that we're showing up as our best, unique, and authentic selves when we're going out or even meeting online for a business appointment."
Some Challenges people face when dealing with style are: • They don't know their personal style • They are overwhelmed with their closet • They don't know how to pull it all together-they just wear what's on the mannequin at the store So, what is possible with your wardrobe? "I believe everyone can feel comfortable, confident & styled. Everyone can express who they are with their own unique and authentic style regardless of their budget. It is possible for everybody." There are just a few tools & tricks we all need in our tool belt to make this possible. Julie shares, "Here is the definition that I live by: Style is the way you want to look expressed by the things you want to wear. That's what style is. It is not separate from and should be a part of your lifestyle." And, How many of you have had a transition in life, and now you feel like you no longer have anything to wear? Transitions such as becoming a mom, and leaving the corporate world to stay at home with your children. Perhaps with this change you found that you no longer needed fancy clothing and you now have nothing in your closet that works for you. 20
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Co Step 1: Discovering Your Style Personality: The biggest challenge Julie tells us she sees is that women don't have clarity and direction on who they are and how they want to dress. This often sounds like, "I don't know how to describe myself." Many women say I'm casual and I'm comfortable. However, these are not descriptors for style. These are descriptors for how you want to feel. Regardless of what you're wearing-business suit or formal attire-you want to FEEL comfortable. If you're in a casual environment, like a family picnic, you still want to feel comfortable while expressing your personal style. Instead, think of words that describe how you want to look. This might change over time, depending on your lifestyle, but should describe how you want to express yourself now. Do this using three words. They can be words such as: Boho, elegant, glamorous, classic, monochromatic, modern, natural, quirky, whimsy, feminine, modest, minimalist, bold, colorful, edgy, sophisticated. What fits you? When you are looking for clothing or putting an outfit together, you want to use these three words to guide you in how you dress or in what items you add to your wardrobe. This will help you to feel comfortable, confident & styled with the items in your closet. For more details, please see Video 1 of the workshop HERE.
Take Away: What are your three words to describe yourself?
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Take Away: Clean out your "working closet" so that you have items that are functional and help you look the way you want.
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Step 3: Elevate & Expand
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How do I shop smart? We start by going back to our three words from Step 1. There are two main challenges Julie hears when it comes to shopping:
• •
I hate shopping. I don't know what to wear and don't know what to buy. I love to shop." I buy so many things that I never wear.
Using the three words prevents impulse buying. Julie doesn't want you to purchase items th don't work for you. It's better to know how to shop smartly from the beginning, only purchasing items that fit and are flattering. This will save you time and money in the long run. Once you have organized and optimized your closet, you can create a priority shopping list. You will want these three categories:
• • •
High Priority: Need Now Medium Priority: Could use Low Priority: Want to buy, but no hurry Don't compromise on quality; a few pieces are better than a lot of cheap items!
For more details on how to make a fantastic shopping list, watch video 3 in the workshop HERE.
Take Away: Create your shopping list of basics and prioritize items.
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Step 4: Wardrobe Creation
Now it's time to put it all together and build your wardrobe with the Power of 3's. Using this tool, you can create 30 outfits from 9 key pieces. These items are:
• • •
A Bottom A Top
An extra item: Jacket, belt, scarf, blazer, etc.
You can mix and match these items in several different combinations to create a variety of outfits. This is the building block to a fun wardrobe that works for many situations in your life. Check out the video on Power of 3 HERE Plus, see how Julie puts together outfits with the Power of 3 HERE
Take Away: Start looking at your wardrobe with the Power of 3. There are so many more details that go into each of these steps. Julie didn't have time to go over all of them in the workshop, so if you would like to work with her, she has offered many ways to do just that. Her dream for you is that you'll discover your own unique and personal style, understanding the building blocks for a great wardrobe. If you are wanting to take your Signature Look to the next level and would like to work with Julie on a deeper level, you are going to want to take advantage of her next event. You can get ahold of her in many ways: You can join her in her Facebook group:
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5 Ways to Survive Zo
By Amanda Gof
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While we all have to embrace that we are now living in a very digital world, it is important to make to take steps to keep your brain from melting. It may seem like you are not doing much, but being digital is actually more taxing on our body. 1) Get fully dressed, do your hair a bit (even if it is putting it up) and put on a lipstick you like. Even though you are at home, this will help you feel more confident and bring your best self. 2) Stay hydrated‌. with water preferably Your brain is mostly water and you need to keep it happy. 3) Try to space out your meetings so that you can have time to get up and move a bit before jumping back into all. Movement helps us to think more clearly and avoid fatigue. 4) Create a space for your Zoom calls. One that is comfortable, well lit, quiet and one that energizes you. Your environment plays a lot into your mood and focus. 5) Know where to look. Even though you are digital‌.eye contact matters. 27
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Finding 28
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Late in the evening on the eve of our September publication, Myhriah messaged me and said something with the jest of "I have another piece to add to our September publication." Immediately I was a bit irritated. I was already behind in where I wanted to be in our production schedule, and here comes Myhriah with her one more addition.
After I got over my irritation, I pulled up the piece Myhriah sent me. Instantly my disposition changed. What this woman said resonated so deeply with who I am and what we do here at G.A.L.S. I got goosebumps all over my body. I messaged my fellow Directors and asked if Myhriah would introduce me to this woman. I wanted to do an in-depth piece on her. There was something about this woman, and how she spoke, that called me to her. Thankfully Myhriah introduced me to Cosette, and Cosette completely embraced me. She invited me into her circle and graciously met with me several times and entertained questions that were difficult to ask, and likely, difficult to answer. I am honored to share this wonderful woman with all of you. Cosette Leary is a powerhouse of encouragement, resilience, and truth. Long before I met her, and long before she answered my questions, she has been helping women to see their worth.
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She has helped them find their truth. As Cosette and I became acquainted with each other a few things stuck out for me. This woman has walked with dignity through some painful truths of her life. Much like me, Cosette had a lot of love for her grandmother, and her grandmother had lived a very muted life. Our conversation started on the topic of her family story and how Cosette became Coco. Cosette and I dived into a story she shares in her book, From Welfare to the White House. The story begins with her and her grandmother doing the dishes. Cosette's grandmother has a moment of clarity and asks Cosette to make her a promise. Cosette's grandmother took her hand and made her promise that she would do everything she dreamed of doing. As Cosette and I talk about what life must have been like for our grandmothers, I ask her the following. Kandie: What does it take to be an individual? How different is it for us to find and be that individual than it was for our grandmothers?
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Cosette: Being your true authentic self, we are still trying to sell that self. At her [Coco's grandmother] age, in her mid-70's, she knew she didn't have time to go back and be that 24-year-old woman with her 9-year-old son. Her identity rested on the opinions of those who were around her. What they thought she should be. To be your authentic self, there are two things you must always do: Love yourself and be yourself. Those are the two things my grandmother didn't have. A woman of color who would be 100 if living today. Being a woman, in the south, during that time, society told her she was nothing. When you have society telling you that you don't belong, well, sometimes you begin to believe that you don't belong. As Cosette and I explore the truth about her upbringing and how that factors into who she is today, Cosette said the following piece that shook me to my core. Cosette: [I had to navigate] Horizontal prejudice that came from my mother, who never wanted me to do what she wasn't able to. The ideas of who I could be were always getting shot down. Not one person was in my corner, telling me "you got this!"
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How many of you can identify with what Cosette said right there? I know I can. It is amazing to start unpacking the beliefs we have of ourselves and where those beliefs come from. Sometimes I feel like a pinball in motion trying to let go of who and what other people believe I should be or what my place is in this world. Cosette uncovered some deep truth for me as we finished up our first meeting. 
We are only existing- we are not living- if we live by what society says we should be.
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If we are to live authentically, we need to check out.
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We need resources and space to become our authentic selves.
I walked away from that first interview with Cosette with some serious questions for myself. Questions I've entertained before, but I have never really been able to answer. By Cosette's definition, "checking out" means that you need to live your life in a way that is free from any limitation placed on you by an outside source. Whether that limitation comes from society, your friends, or your family, teachers, or bosses. If you are going to do what you are intended to do in this world, then you must embody a bit of "Imma do me, you do you." Let me tell you that is easier said than done. As I said, I walked away from that interview with more questions than I had asked. I met with Cosette a total of three times, and each time we talked the dialogue got deeper. The questions ping-ponged back and forth, and I found some commonality with the woman who sat beside me. While we may appear from the outside very different, what I saw in Cosette that mirrored me was this absolute passion to uplift every woman that comes in her path. Cosette is a woman who has walked through life without a safety net; I saw a woman who cared about my wellbeing as much as she cared about her own. While I like to think that most people have this quality, the truth is it is exceedingly rare in our world these days. Much like a rare gem, Cosette sat before me shining through all the stories. She laughed at the painful truths of what brought her to her knees and then fueled the fire in her to be better, to create better. To take those two things into her community and teach other women to love themselves with a fire as intense as her beautiful red lips. 33
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Upon our last interview, I started the questions by asking her when her mindset shifted from seeking validation from an outside source to finding it within. Cosette's father died when she was 12 years old, and Cosette said that he was the only person in her life that gave her kudos and praise. As a young woman, she looked to employers and lovers to find her validation. Since growing up as a Black Woman, society told her she was nothing and remember how her mother would shoot her down? Her mother was envious of the heights Cosette wanted to achieve. Likely only because she was never able to aim that high. I can almost imagine what her mom may have felt. Nonetheless, having a mother that could not see her potential as clearly as Cosette could clouded Cosette's judgment and assessment of herself.
As a woman, Cosette started to shift her focus inward. She says, "I got sick and tired of being sick and tired." Instead of seeking outside validation, because in her own words, "that was just a temporary solution," Cosette went inward and asked herself, "What do I like about me?" I beamed with deep gratitude and love when she said the following.
Cosette: I like my curly hair. I like my big boobs. I like my face. I like my humor. I like that I get up. I like that I am a good mom and that I love my children from my heart.
“You are imperfectly, permanently and inevitably flawed. And you are beautiful.� ~ Amy Bloom
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Once Cosette shifted her view of herself from other people's judgments to her own, she was able to find freedom. Not just financial freedom, but that priceless freedom. The freedom that gives you the courage to cry; that pats you on the back at the end of a long day; that shoots streamers when you have hit a major milestone in your life. Cosette has the freedom to be who she is- without apology and regret. As I approached that final interview, I knew I wanted to bring more of Cosette into this publication. Sure, an in-depth article for our readers is nice, but I feel like I got most of the benefit. I believe you all could use that firecracker of a woman to help you push beyond your own self-limiting beliefs. I am beyond grateful to share with you all that in the publications to come, you'll get to see this woman come to life in these pages. As she shares a piece of herself and helps you to find more of who you are and help you to let go of who you are not. For more on this woman, and a peek of what she will bring to our table please check her out further at the links below. https://fromwelfaretothewhitehouse.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/500640080685734 https://youtu.be/99r2ELjbag4 https://youtu.be/uouiTs9Ir80
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Going Deep With Kandie King Deep within my mind, there is the place of solace that comes when the temperature drops and the snow and ice return to our region. I am not a big fan of the cold. I prefer the warm sun on my skin, minimal clothing, and running around barefooted, but there is a certain quiet that befalls my town when the cold comes. The smell of the fires from the chimneys takes my mind to the comfort of sitting on the hardwood floors at my mother's and soaking up the heat from her woodburning stove while painting canvas’ with my daughter. The quiet of the cold brings me inside where my life is. Where I am with my family, making meals, creating art, folding laundry. Where my motherhood is centered, and the warmth of their love is more than enough to kill the chill of the winter air. Of all the things I have been given the opportunity to do and be, being a mother has been the greatest gift this life has given me. Maybe that is why I love the chill and quiet the snow brings. Everything slows down; I can focus on my home and my children, which are the two things that bring me the most joy and peace.
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As the temperatures continue to drop, I encourage you to pull out your journal, snuggle up with your favorite blanket and a warm drink. Perhaps take some time for yourself and answer the following questions: 1. 2. 3.
What feeling does fall bring to me? How do I feel about the cold weather that comes with this time of year? What is my greatest joy in life?
What I love about journaling is that this is the space where I am allowed to explore all my truths. There is safety tucked in between those pages where I can be creative, or I can be real. My journal offers me the ability to write fantasy or truth free from the judgements of others. The only thing I need to be wary of is my own self-judgement which has been debilitating at times. With love and gratitude, Kandie
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Co Introducing PattyLynn’s Corner 40
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Don’t Miss Out!
PattyLynn’s
Troop Show!! 42
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Here you will learn all about the “Troop Show” and get some practical skills for positive living. Due to Covid19 guidelines for safe distancing, we are not meeting in person but virtually in a Facebook Live format on the third Thursday of the month. I really hope you’ve been able to join us on Facebook for my Troop Show. If you missed it, let me sum up: we have a blast!
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We laugh, we talk, we strategize, and, best of all, give away prizes! Our topic for October was Creative Menu Planning, where I had Faith Hayes as a special guest! She shared Pampered Chef’s new program: “Tastebuds” –a monthly mailing of spices and menus! We will be revisiting our November Troop Show, where we will discuss the topic of budgeting as well as tips for managing money. You might not love this topic, but we will make it fun anyway! So don’t miss out! Plan to tune in to “PattyLynn’s Troop Show” in our GALS FB Group!! If you’re a busy GAL like me, set the alarm on your phone for a little extra reminder!! You don’t want to miss it!
Every 3rd Thursday: 7:30-8:30PM COMING SOON:
December 17 Common Holiday Dilemmas January 21 What the Heck is all this Stuff? February 18 Growing Loving Relationships
Our Awesome Agenda: Opening Chat Game time! Troop Talk--Topic Activity New News PRIZES! 43
Silver Linings:
We have all heard it said: "Behind every cloud, there is a silver lining." And while I’m not here to debate whether that statement applies to every “cloud” in our lives, it does feel like we’ve been living in a dark cloud. And, well, I’ve been looking for that silver lining and have been able to find some positive takeaways from the past nine months of “social distancing.” These new practices have caused us to look at how we’ve been doing life. There are some good lessons to be found here. Here are some examples of finding the silver lining in our situations.
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Cloud: With so many of our events canceled due to precautions to diminish the pandemic and social distancing to limit our exposure to the virus, we’ve been home…just staying home.
Silver Lining: Being self-quarantined at home with your family members has created a situation where families are hanging out together more than before. It has made families work together to find things to do together. Families have taken more hikes together. Good old board games were dusted off and put to good use. With sports activities closed, kids have rediscovered bikes, scooters, trampolines, and had more time to do puzzles, crafts, and build masterpieces with Legos. Slowing down and spending more time together with your immediate family group will have long term impacts. Do not underestimate eating dinner together. Sharing your life over a meal is a bonding experience. Cloud: This closer contact with family members (and/or the distanced relationships with other family and friends) may have revealed some underlying relationship issues.
Silver Lining: These issues most likely needed to be discussed so they could be resolved. We now have time to build up what’s been neglected. Some ways to help restore relationships are to use your relationship skills, read a helpful book, or seek help from a counselor. 44
ontents Coming together with humble hearts and truly listening to one another will help current situations as well as build your relationship for the future. Cloud: Weddings have been rescheduled or scaled way down. (This hits home for me as a definite “cloud.” I had to miss a nephew’s wedding as only the immediate family could attend.)
Silver lining: With closed venues and limited guests invited many a marriage has now been commemorated in a new smaller way. It’s taken place in a family home with a few loved ones, or perhaps outdoors in a park where a bigger number of people can join. Although the wedding and honeymoon were scaled down (and hundreds [or thousands?] of dollars saved), two lives were still united together. And I know of many parties are planned to celebrate when it is deemed safe to do so. I can’t wait to celebrate in person.
Cloud: Schools are closed! This is a huge thunder cloud! Our little students are missing out on the relationships with peers, the close, caring contact with their teacher, and inperson schooling.
Silver lining: School is still in session. Teachers are going the extra mile to connect with students over the screen. Teachers are taking this time to reevaluate each lesson plan, reworking, and rewriting to determine the important lessons and convey them over a computer screen.
Cloud: There has been an increase in loneliness. During selfquarantine, we have lost touch with our close friends. This “social distancing” is like we’re in a long-distance relationship! And long-distance relationships are known for being hard to maintain.
Silver Lining: The good news is we want to reconnect with our friends. We long for our connection and interaction with our friends and family. And most of us can pick up our phone and do so. A simple text with a cute emoji or GIF, a video chat, or a good old fashioned phone call is great ways to reconnect and relate to one another. This has caused us to be more intentional in our relationships. We are focused on one another’s feelings and struggles. Do not let too much time pass between chats! GALS Cloud: We cannot meet in person! I miss our get-togethers, GALS happy hour, and parties. I look forward to meeting you in person when it is safe to do so.
Silver Lining: Until we can meet up again we have our GALS virtual events. Creativity abounds when it comes to how we can connect with one another. I am enjoying interacting on our GALS Facebook page, my Troop Show on Facebook live, a holiday “Secret Santa” gift exchange, many workshops, etc!
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Handling Stress with Grace and Hope
Winter Reflections Are you stressed out? Worried about your health, about your friends’ and family’s health? Are you stressed from sharing workspace as parents and kiddos are both home doing school and work from home? Are you anxious about finances? With work impacted by the pandemic, we may have a smaller paycheck-and some are now without a job. The pandemic adds stress with its unknown time frame and uncertainty of the course of the pandemic. How do we handle this added stress?
Grieve We have had many losses during this season. Trips and plans were canceled. Celebrations were drastically affected. Workplaces and schools closed. We are separated from family and friends. We also grieve for those who have died or lost loved ones to Covid19. Take some time to journal your emotions. Talk to a friend or mentor. Being able to grieve, feel the anger and loss will help us recover.
Gratitude It is so easy to focus on the negative around us. Our mind needs a break from stress and worry. Spend time to focus on the positive things in your life. Many studies have been done to show the power of a positive and grateful mind. Give thanks for the blessings in your life. Learn to live a grateful life. There is so much for which to be grateful: nature and beauty around you, loving friends and family members, those sweet pets, good food to eat, a job, a place to live, or even your favorite blanket.
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Take time to reflect. I like to find a quiet time and place. I like to sit by the fireplace and sip a cup of tea. Or sometimes I like a café with a cup of coffee and my journal. Or out on a crisp fall walk reflecting aloud to a friend. Seek some solitude and silence in which you can find peace. Reflect on this attitude of gratitude by speaking it aloud with family and friends. Write in your journal. Write notes of gratitude on slips of paper in a jar.
Grace It is hard living in close quarters with others. Be gracious with one another. Those around you are probably having a difficult time as well. Learn to see others around you. Listen to what they’re experiencing. Help one another. These people nearest to us, our family, needs our love and patience.
Health Stay healthy! Stress can take a toll on our health. Do the things you need to do to stay healthy this fall and winter. Take your vitamins. Drink more water. Eat less sugar and more vegetables. Anyone with Covid19, and those with fragile health, will have to quarantine. They should follow the guidelines and take precautions. This will probably mean staying home, missing some gatherings, or safely attending small family groups, with distancing and masking as necessary.
Hope As they say, “This too shall pass.” This terrible pandemic will run its course and as it does our lives will continue to be impacted in many ways…but we have hope that someday we will return to health and normalcy. We must continue to live our lives fully while taking precautions to stay healthy and keep our family healthy. It is my hope and prayer for you that as you combat stress and losses you can live a life full of gratitude and grace, health, and hope.
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New YearCo Min By Amy Hitsman
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It is that time of year again where we start thinking about a change for the upcoming year. I have always loved the beginning of a new stage. It brings excitement, anticipation, and fun. However, not everyone has the same feelings, and starting change is not going to look the same on anyone. The first step to any change is getting right with yourself. Take some time to really sit with yourself and “talk” about what changes you want and why. Feel the feelings you will have once that change has been made. Remind yourself to give yourself grace as you move forward. You can’t truly make a change until you truly want it. There have been times where it takes me a year or so to get in the right mind frame to make a change. But a year of telling myself that I want to change, only makes that change sweeter. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you are slow to start. Also, once you have started, you may have to remind yourself every time you are going off track why you started in the first place. Feel the feelings and remind yourself what it will look like in the end. Let me see if I can help.
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Here are some tips I think of when getting on the path to the change you are wanting. 1)
2)
I am a new year’s resolution type of person. I used to have people tell me that new year’s resolutions were a joke and people should just get over themselves and start at whatever date they made the decisions. Without the stab at someone wanting to wait until new years day, there might be truth to this. If you tend to find yourself super stoked the day you make the decision, set a day to start, and then lose the desire as the day approaches, you might need to start your change on the day you make the decision. There is nothing wrong with that process. Change is hard and scary so when you give it time to sink in, doubt creeps in from all sides. Doubt may sound like, “It is going to hurt, it will take forever, I won’t have enough time” and so much more. So, if you can relate to this, my suggestion is to start the moment the impulse hits. As I said above, I myself, am a new year’s resolution kind of person. I love getting ready, prepared, and set up to go on the day I have chosen to make the change. I also like to feel the comfort of my comfort level just one more time. I know in a few weeks or so, I will have a new comfort level, and saying “see you and thank you” to a place that was a previous stepping stone is a great start for me. If you are the type that likes to build anticipation before takeoff, then the new year may just be perfect for you. I like this method also because I know each year, I will set new ideas in place. Knowing that gives me the grace of a whole year to make the changes I need. I like having time and space to develop myself. Sounds weird, but knowing in a year, I am checking in, kind of makes me feel safe.
I absolutely LOVE new beginnings. New years is not the only time for new beginnings. Every month, you can check-in and make new dreams. Each week you can add to your list of momentum. Even every day you can wake up and set the intention that something exciting is going to happen that day. There are so many opportunities to reset your mind and make the changes you want to live your best life. Happy Holidays to everyone and have an amazing 2021! Amy Hitsman Mindset consultant @mindsetbyamy 50
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“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” - Maya Angelo
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SuccessCo Am By Melony Buenger
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hen Covid hit, I had just flown home from a speaking engagement in Philadelphia. The airports had begun stocking masks, but you only saw one or two people wearing them. I honestly didn’t feel like I was going to be affected. I had plans of taking my daughter to see Frozen on Broadway that Thursday evening. But in the blink of an eye, it felt like the world was shut down! The government closed all social gatherings and sporting events were canceled. Schools were closed and stores now had special hours of operations. The streets were quieter and had fewer cars on them than a Christmas holiday. Every state around the world was affected and we were asked to go into quarantine. As a speaker and coach, all my keynotes, speaking engagements, and events were canceled through the end of 2020. It was devastating as some of these events had been booked out two years in advance. I had big goals, new product launches, and visions for what 2020 was going to look like. Needless to say that all changed! Some days felt devastating, a bit overwhelming, and even scary to say the least. All my coaching clients but one canceled. Many of you may be able to relate or know someone else who was affected this way in their industry. I know many small business owners who lost their business. As a coach, I tell my clients that overwhelm, and chaos are a choice. I quickly had to address my mindset and start looking for the blessings in this storm. I told two young girls twelve and fifteen that we would have a staycation at home. I drove our RV to our house, stocked it with goodies for the girls, and let them stay up late as they wanted. When the house was getting crazy and I needed a quiet place to work or pray, I would go out to the RV. 53
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As an entrepreneur, it is easy to isolate yourself when you feel stuck. In a pandemic, it can also feel lonely. My world felt like it was closing in and I had to stop the pity party. I was not alone and would need to pivot or I was not going to recover. The question I began asking myself was, how could I adjust my goals? I didn’t want to lose the freedom to work from home and serve others. I felt as if I was fighting for what felt like my life! I chose to give every situation to God and find my peace in him. I slowed down and got quiet, fasted, and prayed for forty days looking for directions, and then did it again. In the end, I decided to do something that I had wanted to do for four years. I hosted an event called Be Radiant Live. Instead of doing the event live and in person, we hosted online. Covid had allowed me the opportunity to partner with my business friends around the world by cutting the cost of a live event. What had been stopping me before financially now was possible. I did not have any down payments for event locations, airfare, or hotel accommodations. I was able to partner with my colleges around the world because they could easily hop on to the zoom platform. Being online allowed attendees to join internationally. Mind-Blowing! Having the extra time, gave me the ability to foster the relations I had been building. I implemented funnels, created twenty affiliates, and elevated the value of my coaching mastermind program. The pandemic turned out to be a blessing wrapped in sandpaper for my business.
Just remember, you c set your mind to, b perseverance , and
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can do anything you but it takes action , facing your fears. ~Gillian Anderson 55
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As an entrepreneur, it is easy to isolate yourself when you feel stuck. In a pandemic, it can also feel lonely. Slowing down allowed me toMy world felt like it was closing in and I had to stop pity party. not alone and would need to pivot or I was not open mythe business up toI was the world going to recover. TheCovid question began asking myself was, how could I adjust internationally. This timeIallowed me to implement strategies my goals? I didn’t want to lose the freedom to work from home and serve and systems me to for scale others. I felt that as if enabled I was fighting what felt like my life! I chose to give every my business. Speaking opportunities situation to God and find my peace in him. I slowed down and got quiet, have begun rescheduling online, and I fasted, andopportunities prayed for forty days looking for directions, and then did it again. have more to speak around the world on different platforms. There is a benefit to being In the end, toto doget something online. It is aI decided lot easier 600 peo-that I had wanted to do for four years. I hosted event calledthan Be Radiant Live. Instead of doing the event live and in ple to anan event online 600 people in a ballroom. Fromonline. these speaking person, we hosted Covid had allowed me the opportunity to partner opportunities, I now have more coachwith my business friends around the world by cutting the cost of a live ing clients. event. What had been stopping me before financially now was possible. I did Our mindset is a powerful tool, not have for event and we getany to down choosepayments how we will use locations, airfare, or hotel accommodations. I was able to partner it. Everyone describes success with in dif-my colleges around the world because they could to the zoom ferent ways.easily I feel hop that on I have come outplatform. Being online allowed aton the other sideinternationally. of quarantine Mind-Blowing! Having the extra time, gave tendees to join stronger and more grateful. I learnedI had been building. I implemented me the ability to foster the relations many lessons and faced many hard days. If you asked me how I did it, I would say by the grace of God. I am a development coach that helps people ignite their God-Sized Goals and create signature programs. My heart is to leave a legacy and to help others to create impact, income, and influence on their journey. I became a student of the teacher and implemented the things I had my clients do. You can reach me online at melonbuenger.com or across social media @melony.buenger
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ontents 1. Be committed to your vision and consistent in your action! 2. Have grace with yourself, and don’t compare yourself. 3. Ask for help where you need it. 4. Believe in yourself. 5. Pray and listen. 6. Make decisions based on the outcome you want. 7. Be accountable. 8. Do it afraid. 9. Find three things to let go of to get you where you want to go. 10. Look for evidence of people achieving that goal. 57
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The Good Muffin By Susan LeGuyader
When Kandice asked me to write a food article, I was pretty excited. I write for some magazines but those are industry specific. Getting to write about food, something I love, sounded like fun. Do you KNOW HOW HARD it is to only pick one recipe? In the end, it came down to quick and easy. As we head into the holidays, it’s nice to have a go-to recipe for muffins that is quick and easy. My helper, Olivia and I whipped these up in about 30 minutes, start to finish.
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List:
Refrigerated 2 Eggs, large Baking & Spices 2 1/2 cups All-purpose flour 1 tbsp Baking powder 1 tsp Baking soda 1 cup Granulated sugar 1/2 tsp Salt 1 1/2 cups Semi-sweet chocolate chips 1 tbsp Vanilla extract
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Dairy 1/2 cup Butter, unsalted 1 cup Buttermilk
With this muffin recipe, it has some versatility to it, as you can change your add-ins. I usually do mini chocolate chips, but you do you. I like to assemble my ingredients and equipment first and put it away after it has been added. Far less clean up in the end. Here is the recipe I use, I found it on Pinterest- the greatest cookbook ever. https://pin.it/15oaioa Bakery Style Chocolate Chip Muffins 60
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“The most indispensable ingredient of all good home cooking: love for those you are cooking for.� ~ Sophia Loren
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Preheat oven to 425°
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Melt butter, using either the microwave or the stove top. I use the stove top to reduce cleaning up the inside of the microwave, after the butter explodes...learned that lesson the hard way.
Combine your flour, baking powder and baking soda together. Make a well in the middle and set aside.
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Either line muffin pans with liners or spray with cooking spray. You can use any size muffin pans you want. I like the jumbo pans. If you use smaller, reduce the cooking time.
Combine eggs, buttermilk, salt and vanilla in another bowl.
After butter is melted, add the sugar. Stir to combine. This cools the butter down and allows it to be mixed with the rest of the wet ingredient without cooking the egg mixture. 62
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Add the butter/sugar to the egg/ buttermilk and stir well to combine.
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Add wet mixture to the dry and stir just until combined. I use a Danish Dough Whisk. This utensil allows the mixing of quick breads without overworking the dough. Leaving your muffins (or waffles, etc.) tender and delicious. Overworking the dough leads to tough
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Use a large cookie scooper to fill the muffin pans or whatever delivery system works best
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Pop in the oven at 425° for 5 minutes.
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Reduce temperature to 375° and cook additional 10 minutes. If you are using regular or mini muffin pans, reduce time and check about halfway through.
Reduce temperature to 375° and cook additional 10 minutes. If you are using regular or mini muffin pans, reduce time and check about halfway through.
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I believe these can be made gluten free, I’ve seen Bob’s Red Mill One-To-One gluten free flour at Chuck’s Produce. I have also heard that it is a good product, although I’ve never used it. A bit about me, my name is Susan LeGuyader. I’m married for 21 years and counting. I have two almost grown boys, two cats and a doggo. We have lived in the Lincoln neighborhood for over 20 years. I’ve been a stay at home mom as long as I’ve had kids. I love my family and our pets. I enjoy making jewelry, reading, cooking, and baking. I have also spent so very many hours volunteering for the youth in our community.
Have a great holiday and I look forward to sharing another recipe next time. If you have questions, you can contact me at: suzqlgydr@gmail.com.
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Home for the Holida An intimate piece from Myhriah Young
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I am typically a person who likes to keep things light-hearted and on the happy side, in fact, sometimes to a fault. I know that I can drive some nuts with my “happy-go-lucky” mentality all the time.
However, today I am going to get a bit more real with you all. I am going to share with you why the Holidays have been hard for me in the last few years. My hope with sharing this is that I help may help someone else who has been feeling this way, or at the very least, help someone understand someone close to them who might also be feeling this way. I think in our merriment it is important to think about others around us who might be struggling for one reason or another. It is also good to remember for ourselves that we don’t always have to have everything 100% put together. For me there are a few key reasons that I find the season difficult: •
I struggle with seasonal depression.
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I miss my Nana who was the glue to one side of my family.
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My extended family doesn’t get along like they used to.
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With this year, even if we wanted to get together, we couldn’t due to restrictions.
I won’t go deeply into each of these points, but I wanted to share that I always have an array of mixed emotions when it comes to the Fall/Holiday season. Where I look forward to getting out my warmer clothes, eating comfort foods, decorating with Holiday fun, drinking warm drinks (although I do this all year, lol); I also really struggle to get motivated on a day-to-day basis. I fight low energy levels, even with a strict regimen of extra vitamins and nutritional intake, and am very aware of how I could slip up and an entire week could just be gone, boom! That’s my depression. My family has also become stressful for me. We have so much going on. One side of our family seems like we have been in a 67
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complete upheaval of our traditions for several years now. All stemming from my Nana getting sick, losing her memory, and eventually passing away. There aren’t words to fully cover the heartache that has come from that craziness. We lost our Nana and our family connection. Plus there’s dysfunction on the other sides of our family too. We all have it, right?
On top of that, we have 2020. Geez, Louise!! I mean, come on!! Give us a break already!! For a person who is all about connecting and enjoying other people, this year has just been one big flop after another big flop; I know I don’t even have to explain. With as much as I am looking forward to this Holiday Season, I must admit that I find myself worrying about what the heck is going to be next. What a weird way to spend the “Happiest Time of the Year.” It would be very easy to continually reflect on my family stress, missing my loved ones, and the new restrictions. These things are all so FREAKING hard and can feel all-consuming. We’re having tough conversations with those involved in our family situations and sometimes it feels like the resolution is not possible. Sometimes I get sucked into my sadness, want to “crawl under a rock,” and disappear.
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ontents And I am 100% absolutely allowed to feel what I NEED to feel. I can take some time to mourn and grieve what I have lost. In fact, for myself, I NEED to. It’s a self-care practice. I know what doesn’t help.
I don’t need anyone telling me to “Just get over it already,” or “it’s all going to be okay.” The truth is, I might not get over my frustration and stress about seeing all the things we used to do and have with family go away. It will never be the same and it won’t be okay. I have no control that.
So, what does help? To be honest, I don’t totally know. I wish I could tell you I muster up all my energy and I go off to SLAY the DAY!! Sometimes that’s not the case. Sometimes, I give myself permission to wallow in it. Now I give myself permission to feel ALL the feels. Sometimes I work to pull it together because I know that this is not who I want to be. I have a HUGE PURPOSE. I also know that I have a responsibility to a few people other than myself, so I need to find ways to keep my depression in check.
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I have little ways that I can motivate myself, and I reached out to other gals in our G.A.L.S. community to find out what they do when they are feeling down, so I thought I would share some of those ideas here so that perhaps we can pull it togethertogether: • Vickie: plan fun things to eat, learn to use my new silhouette-but step by step! • Susan: Shop at Lane Bryant (she comes to see me, yay!!)
• Melissa: Volunteer somewhere. It’s energizing and gets me out of my head. Second? Drink Baileys on the rocks! • Amanda: Dancing, walk, sing to musical movie soundtracks • Amy: Dance. Have you ever turned on a song, danced, and stayed mad? Probably not. I also jump around. Hard to be mad after you jump. Like jump as high as you can. It’s about refocusing. • Mairin: Work out, write, meditate, check out and read • Summer: Music!! Worship or oldies, and by oldies, I mean anything before like 2005; you know, what my teens call oldies, lol. • Bonnie: I listen to Pentatonix • Deanna: Play games. • Jodi: Dance and clean. Visit the Grands. • Mandy: Aromatherapy baths, listening to sermons on YouTube, Harry Potter therapy • Ashton: Color by numbers? Lol; just kidding. I make comfort food…and craft. • Myhriah: I give myself an allotted amount of time to wallow. Then I find something: music, yummy food, rest, time with my hubby, reading, or devotional/ reflection time. 70
ontents There are a lot of great ideas from fellow G.A.L.S. to help get you out of a funk. For me, I just need to take it one step at a time. I ask myself: what is the next thing I can do to help myself feel better? Then I follow it through with the next thing, and then the next. It doesn’t happen all at once, and sometimes it can feel like I’m taking three progressive steps forward, and one giant step back! But I am always moving forward. My organizing coach tells me, “progress not perfection.” So, for now, that is what I aim for. Progress. Just another foot forward. One more thing checked off. One more meeting scheduled. One more call completed. Just one more day at a time. If you are struggling to move forward, please let us know in the G.A.L.S. Facebook group. We all have a journey. We have all walked through something difficult and there is always a way that we can support you in your journey. Our community is here to help. Our individual and collective goals are to help every woman to become who she dreams of being. Some of us are at the ends of our journeys, some of us are midway, but all of us have had to start at the beginning. Whatever your beginning steps are, we are here to help. 71
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G.A.L.S. g the Torch As a mother, my main goal in life is to empower my children to do and become all they want to be in this world. Myhriah approached me regarding a G.A.L.S. Junior space within the publication, and I was ecstatic! I came on to this publication earlier this year, and my daughter quickly engaged in the creative process. I am beaming with pride to show you all the next three pages of G.A.L.S. Junior! Olivia is the editor and creative director for our juniors section. We plan to use this space to encourage young girls in their creativity. So if you know any younger GALS that are engaging in our community, creating art, or developing business and slaying strategy, WE WANT TO KNOW THEM! We would love to feature them on these pages. For more information email us @ publication.galsclub@gmail.com
With the warmest of wishes, Kandie
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A Young Girls’ Entrepreneur Spirit One day my teacher asked my class "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I didn't have to think hard, it was on the tip of my tongue; I wanted to blurt it out! I waited patiently for my turn. When my name was called; I held my head high, cleared my throat, and said very confidently "I want to be a boss". My teacher got quiet and then told me to think of something more realistic and attainable, like a cashier, because someone like me can't really be a boss. Little did she know, I had been working on my business idea for a while and I was almost ready to launch. I didn't let her opinion crush me, I let it push me! Hi, my name is Amira Ashley, and I am a 9yr old business owner. I have my very own vegan lip gloss line. My gloss colors are bright, flavored, and scented. They remind me of candy that's why I call them my candy gloss shop. There are a million reasons why I decided to start my own business, but I'll just give you a few. 1- I'm vegan and I love all things vegan. I think we should all have things that are good for us and the environment. 2- I want every kid to know that we can achieve anything regardless of our age, race, or gender. We don't have to be put in a box or put our dreams on hold. We can start now. 3- My mom has worked so hard taking care of me, my sister, and brother. She's sacrificed her life to keep us from being split up into foster care and shows me daily how to chase my dreams. She lets nothing hold her back, she's a boss, and reminds me daily that I can do anything. I hope to buy her a house one day (Maybe a pink castle).
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If your looking for ways to connect with me I'm on IG @boujeevegangirl I will be added to my mom's website with my own corner very soon www.shopboujeevegan.com I am currently waiting on my restock and taking pre-orders via DM. My gloss would be a great stocking stuffer (just thought I'd give you that idea) I look forward to growing with you and I continue to move forward in business and fun. 75
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Amelia is the daughter of fellow GAL, Naomi, and adopted niece to Myhriah. She loves the “Wings of Fire� book series, and really just about anything with dragons. She is a middle schooler and is finding ways to be creative during this crazy COVID time.
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COVID-19 Tips & Tricks This is how I am dealing with the Covid-19 lifestyle
-Find a mask that suites your personality. -Find something to do to pass the time. -Organize/clean and listen to music. -Write Personal narratives, Fiction,
Non-Fiction, etc. -Make a piece of artwork or a sculpture for whom ever you want to make it for. -Paint something. -Dance, wiggle and shake. -Have a lot of fun and do not be afraid. These are all my tips & tricks to deal with the Covid-19 lifestyle. 78
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Oli out
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Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone to greatness. ~Oprah
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