Funeral Times issue 1 / 23

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

www.fearghasquinn.com

2023 Vol.23 No.1

patrick@fearghasquinn.com | +44 (0)28 2582 2525

Non-religious funeral and memorial ceremonies Meaningful and memorable ceremonies Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfect option for families and friends who want a sincere, personal commemoration of their loved one, without religion.

Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailored to the person who has died, and the wishes of the people who love them, in the most fitting way possible. That may be an upbeat celebration of life or a ceremony with a more traditional tone.

Humanist funerals are inclusive and welcoming to people of all backgrounds and faiths. They often include time for reflection on the person who has died, when those with religious beliefs can say a silent prayer, if they wish.

Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.

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For more information visit

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Humanist Ceremonies™ is part of Humanists UK, a registered charity in England and Wales (no. 285987) and company limited by guarantee (no. 228781)

> humanist.uk/ceremonies

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Newlands Cross 6

IAFD President Tom Lawless 16

New NAFD Chief Executive 50

Contents

A new chapter for Newlands Cross Cemetery and Crematorium.....6 Holywood funeral home extends premises................................................12 IAFD News . ............................................................................................................... 16 Out with the old and in with the new by Ian Fee................................... 26 BIE News ................................................................................................................... 28 Eimer Duffy on why you should embrace social media...................... 33 The borderline body by Tim Collison.......................................................... 44 NAFD News............................................................................................................... 50 Andrew Judd appointed NAFD Chief Executive..................................... 50 50 years of Kidney Research.............................................................................60 The man who had 10 funerals . ...................................................................... 63 Jennifer Muldowney asks Would you rather be compost?................ 66 SAIF News ............................................................................................................... 68 Just for laughs by Mattie Lennon ................................................................. 71 Dr Bill Webster on Attitudes towards Grief and Grievers...................74 Classifieds ................................................................................................................. 81

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

FuneralTimes | 3

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A new chapter for Newlands Cross Cemetery and Crematorium

N

ewlands Cross Cemetery and Crematorium was opened by Dublin Cemeteries Trust in 2000, to provide burial and cremation services to the East Coast area, and particularly the growing communities of West Dublin, South Dublin and the surrounding areas of Kildare and Wicklow. The cemetery is carefully maintained and landscaped and is part of a large parkland area which serves the local population.

Close to the M50 and covering almost 40 acres, Newlands Cross offers a range of grave options in a peaceful and dignified setting, along with a state-of-the-art crematorium, to provide a full range of burial and cremation services.

Inside the state-of-the-art cemetery

6 | FuneralTimes

A new Memorial Garden for Cremated Remains We are just about to launch a significant initiative at Newlands Cross Cemetery, with the opening of a new, beautifully-landscaped garden for the interment of urns (see photo on opposite page, bottom right). Rather than the rigid, straight-line structure of many columbarium walls, the emphasis here is on a more pleasing design and a variety of options, shapes and styles.

These include: Memorial Garden Plot: very similar to a traditional grave, but on a smaller scale, this option has a low limestone headstone marking the plot which can accommodate up to six urns beneath the surface. The headstone can be inscribed as normal.

Memorial Garden Niche: this is a small granite chamber or vault which holds up to six urns above the surface. Again, some space for inscription is available on the stone.

Central Columbarium Wall: a number of more traditional columbarium walls are arranged at varying angles across the centre of the Memorial Garden. They are two-tone in colour and each can accommodate up to two urns.

This beautiful new Memorial Garden is situated in a central, yet peaceful part of Newlands Cross cemetery and will be a very

attractive option for families seeking a tranquil, aesthetically-pleasing location for the interment of ashes.

Grave Availability at Newlands At Newlands, a grave can obviously be bought at the time of arranging the funeral, but increasingly nowadays people are purchasing a grave in advance as part of an end-of-life planning process for either themselves or their family. We are happy to assist either the Funeral Director or the individual in choosing from our selection of graves and locations within Newlands, or any of the cemeteries operated by Dublin Cemeteries Trust.

In terms of the types of graves or burial plots, there is a range of options available in Newlands Cross Cemetery. Depending on the individual’s or the family’s wishes, the options available include: - In Newlands, all graves are the same size and can accommodate up to four burials. By purchasing a grave, either as part of a preplanning process or for someone who has just passed away, families can acquire an important asset which will serve their needs for many years to come.

- Burial plots for cremation urns: remains that have been cremated and placed in an urn can be buried in an existing grave, or in the new Memorial Garden, the Garden of Remembrance, or in a Columbarium Wall.

CONTACT US: Our helpful team can guide you through all the options.

To find out more you can email: dthompson@dctrust.ie or call +353 (0)1 459 2288.

OUR LOCATION: Newlands Cross Cemetery Ballymount Road Dublin 24 D24 EP83

FuneralTimes | 7

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James Brown & Sons announces latest community fund recipients The third cycle of a Community Fund project by James Brown and Sons has selected six organisations which will benefit by receiving a donation from the £20,000 pot of money.

T

he funding project, created specifically for programmes that benefit local communities in the heart of Belfast and the surrounding areas, has provided funding for a wide range of entities that support vulnerable people in society.

These include everything from a hydrotherapy project assisting people with disabilities, schemes to support vulnerable men and elderly people, and an initiative to help mums and babies get active.

Youngsters will also benefit from the fund with a short-term intervention project at Victoria Park Primary School, and there is also backing for a recreational youth scheme in Monkstown.

Speaking about the final distribution of funding for this year, James Brown said: “It has been a humbling experience for us to serve the people of Belfast and beyond for almost 120

years during which we have made countless charitable donations. Last year we launched the Community Fund in my family’s name and in its inaugural year, I am immensely proud to have been able to recognise and provide much needed money to help support such wonderful causes in our area through the James Brown & Sons Community Fund.

“The goal of this fund is to ensure funding goes directly to those who need it at a specific time and we do this via an application process that allows us to accommodate those who need it most.

“Our six projects this time round represent some really admirable work in the community and it is an honour for us to support them. We wish them all the best with their continued efforts and contribution to the people in their local communities.”

Recipients from the James Brown Community Fund with James Brown FuneralTimes | 11

Funeral Directors improves offer to families by extending Holywood home

James Brown, James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors, Funeral Arranger Barbara Wilson, Regional Development Manager Julian Hodgkinson, Branch Development Manager Emma Moore and Stephen Dunne MLA

A long-established funeral firm have extended their funeral home into a previously empty shop next door to offer grieving families a more comfortable and private setting.

John Gray & Co, based in Holywood High Street, County Down, have taken over the building next door – which had been a pharmacy – and marked the official reopening with a celebration attended by Stephen Dunne MLA. The move will allow their dedicated team to take on more funerals and allow visitors extra space when they come into the home to arrange a service or visit a loved one.

The extension has been in planning for two years, with work to revamp the ex-pharmacy happening behind the scenes after the conversion was approved by the local council.

In order to match the overhaul in the new part of the building, their original premises has also undergone a refurbishment.

John Gray & Co was first established more than six decades ago in 1960 and is now part of the 12 | FuneralTimes

Funeral Partners network.

Senior Funeral Arranger Barbara Wilson said the opening event was a great success and it was wonderful to see so many local community organisations represented.

She said: “The expansion has been a major talking point in the town, and it has been very well received.

“Our launch event was well attended and was very successful so a big thank you to everyone who attended.

“We now have more space in a modern, comfortable funeral home with increased privacy for families, and we will continue to offer the same high quality standard of care.”

For more information about John Gray & Co, or to enquire about funeral arrangements at the Holywood branch, visit www.johngrayfuneraldirectors.com

Electric hearse makes debut for Funeral Partners as part of carbon reduction drive

F

uneral Partners has taken further steps to offer mourners in Belfast and the surrounding areas an alternative vehicle option which has a reduced impact on the environment with the introduction of a new electricpowered zero-emission hearse.

The electric option is now available at each of the five James Brown and Sons branches across Belfast and their funeral homes in Shore Road, Whiteabbey and the Beverley Shopping Centre in Newtownabbey.

It is also on offer at John Gray & Co Funeral Directors in Newtownards, Bangor and Holywood, Mulhollands Funeral Directors in Carrickfergus and Larne, Houston & Williamson Funeral Directors in Belfast, and Shields of Donaghadee Funeral Directors.

Kylie Gourley, Operations Manager for Funeral Partners in

Senior Funeral Director Terry Weir, Funeral Service Operatives Nicola Mckee, Deborah McConnell and Tom Maguire from James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors with the new electric hearse Northern Ireland, said she was hoping the new Nissan Leaf vehicle would prove popular.

“It’s all about offering choice,” she said. “More and more, we are finding many of the families may have driven an electric car themselves or lived a life where they were passionate about the environment or conscious about climate change, so having the opportunity to

offer that choice can only be a positive thing.

“It looks almost identical to a regular hearse, just a little smaller with no middle seat, so you do not lose anything with the look and feel.

“We know there is a demand for this and hope it will allow us to offer an even better service to families who need to arrange funerals – and also be good for our planet.”

About Funeral Partners: Funeral Partners is the UK’s third largest funeral business, with more than 230 funeral homes staffed by over 1000 dedicated funeral professionals serving communities across England, Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Chief Executive Sam Kershaw has over 40 years’ experience in the funeral profession, joining the business back in 2016 as Chief Operating Officer. Funeral Partners, celebrating its 15-year anniversary in 2022, has grown rapidly, building a strong reputation as a well-run, high-quality funeral services business overseeing more than 25,000 funerals each year.

It now includes more than 125 family businesses, which have entrusted their reputation and heritage to Funeral Partners.

For more information about Funeral Partners or if you are considering selling your business visit: www.funeralpartnersnorthernireland.com FuneralTimes | 13

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

David Kearney from Coughlan’s Funeral Home, Cork collects a new E Class hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Padraic Cawley Civil Funeral Celebrant Celebrating the life of the deceased, reflecting their personal beliefs, wishes, values and traditions.

T: 087- 2676050

E: padraic@padraiccawley.ie W: www.padraiccawley.ie 14 | FuneralTimes

INSTITUTE OF

CIVIL FUNER AL S

Newlands Cross Cemetery Ballymount Road Dublin 24 D24 EP83

Our helpful team can guide you through all the options.

To find out more email: dthompson@dctrust.ie or call +353 (0)1 459 2288

IAFD News A Message from the President I am delighted to take up the position of Irish Association of Funeral Directors President 2023 and I look forward to continuing the good work carried out by my predecessors.

My main focus for 2023 will be imbedding the revised IAFD Quality Standard. In 2022 we conducted focus groups with members throughout the country to gauge their views as we embarked on this very important project. Feedback we received led to us to make the decision to update the IAFD Quality Standard to bring it in line with the European Standard for Funeral Services.

A workshop has also been designed to introduce members to the Quality Standard and tell them how IAFD will be supporting them to ensure that they are fully compliant with this standard. The workshop will also introduce members to the various resources that are being developed to support members.

Our Membership Officer, Fintan Cooney, has worked tirelessly on this program as a means of raising the already high standards of our members and facilitating them in every way to meet with the many demands placed on us as business owners. Moving forward IAFD will provide specific workshops targeting different aspects of the Quality Standard, equipping our members in every way to achieve levels of excellence. These workshops will be invaluable to our smaller member firms who don’t necessarily have access to some of the expertise required to meet with the standards expected of all businesses, for example: I.T. professionals, employment law, GDPR and health and safety experts. They will also provide a platform for our larger member firms to train and upskill their staff members, a platform for Continuing Professional Development for all.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to my fellow board members for all their help and support over the past number of years and I look forward to working with them and fellow members in 2023. Finally, as President I am available for you, if you would like to contact me for any reason, please email president@iafd.ie

Tom Lawless

16 | FuneralTimes

President

IAFD News Irish Association of Funeral Directors Annual General Meeting 2022 was held on 19th November 2022 in Knightsbrook Hotel, Trim

D

uring 2022 the Board of Directors of the Irish Association of Funeral Directors Ltd consisted of the following: President – Dara Gillespie, First Vice President – Tom Lawless, Hon. Secretary – Keith Greaney, Hon. Treasurer – Niall Mulligan, Education Officer – Niamh Sweeney, Public Relations Officer –Mary Cunniffe, 2nd Vice President –Niall Mulligan, Immediate Past President (Ex Officio) – Donal Forde, Membership Officer – Fintan Cooney and Kylie Gourley, John Mark Griffin and Peter Maguire.

Mary Cunniffe served on the Board for four consecutive terms and one additional year and has now retired from the Board. The Board thanked Mary for her enthusiasm and dedication to IAFD during the last nine years.

FuneralTimes | 17

IAFD News 2021/2022 Highlights Dara Gillespie attended the National Day of Remembrance and Reflection which took place on the 20th March 2022 in the Garden of Remembrance, Dublin, held to remember all those who died during the pandemic and to pay tribute to everyone who worked on the frontline.

Meetings with Dr. Myra Cullinane, Senior Coroner, Dublin District Coroners, Dublin around the long delays on the releasing of the deceased to their family funeral director, this

was mainly experienced around the Dublin area.

Commencement of Funeral Directing Certificate Award (FDCA) Education Course began in September.

Launch of updated Excellence Programme and production of revised Quality Standard Past Presidents lunch took place in September 2022 and was enjoyed by everyone Launch of IAFD WhatsApp provided a faster way of communicating with members

First and Second Vice Presidents appointed and new Board Members welcomed We are delighted to announce the appointment of Niall Mulligan as First Vice President, Niamh Sweeney, Second Vice President and welcome Pat Smyth and Paul Reilly to the Board.

18 | FuneralTimes

Niall Mulligan, Heffernans Funeral Directors, Trim

Niamh Sweeney, John Sweeney & Sons, Arklow

Pat Smyth, Smyth’s Funeral Directors, Roscommon

Paul Reilly, Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors, Maynooth

IAFD News Benefits of joining Irish Association of Funeral Directors • Membership of a professional organisation recognised by the general public • Board of funeral professionals available to assist members • Funeral director led organisation for promoting and developing standards of funeral service including a Code of Practice for all Members • Access to IAFD education programme • Representation of Members with Government, local authorities and media • Unique all-island network of funeral directors • Professional Indemnity Insurance included as part of Membership fees • Dispute resolution and Mediation - including legal advisory service • Links to other trade associations

FuneralTimes | 19

IAFD Contacts Tom Lawless (President) Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Niall Mulligan (First Vice President and Hon. Treasurer) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim, Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com Niamh Sweeney (Second Vice President and Education Officer) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow, Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: niamh@johnsweeneyandsons.ie Dara Gillespie (Immediate Past President) Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Keith Greaney (Hon. Secretary) Conneely Funeral Directors Flood Street Galway 091 562866 keithgreaney@gmail.com Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: fintanjen@gmail.com 20 | FuneralTimes

Donal Forde Forde & Sons Funeral Home South Gate Bridge Cork, Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: fordes@indigo.ie Kylie Gourley Funeral Partners Northern Ireland 300 Newtownards Road Belfast BT4 1HF Ph: 028 9045 1021 Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com John Mark Griffin Griffin Funerals John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick Ph: 061 415000 Email: johnmark@griffinfunerals.com Peter Maguire Massey Bros Crumlin Road, Dublin Ph: 01 4541666 Email: peter@masseybros.com Paul Reilly Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors Leinster Street, Maynooth Ph: 045-868230 Email: info@reillysfuneralhome.ie Pat Smyth Smyth’s Funeral Directors Lanesboro Street, Roscommon Ph: 0906-627122 Email: info@smythsroscommom.com

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

In Loving Tribute W

e understand that the loss of somebody close is a deeply personal experience.

For family members and friends, setting up an online tribute fund web page with us can be a unique way to make a lasting memorial to a loved one and for many people, supporting a good cause by concentrating their time and effort into keeping a memory alive can help them cope with loss.

With Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke, via the online platform Much Loved, anyone can set up a tribute page in the name of a loved one and, as it is personal to them, they have the choice of how and when it is added to.

Any gifts of donations in memory, and those of family and friends who can also be invited to contribute, will help us continue our mission to care for local people with devastating illnesses, and invest in prevention with research, whilst at the same time, act as lasting tribute to a loved one.

How Does It Work?

Once the page is created, you can add to it at any time with messages and photos.

For example, you may choose to celebrate a birthday, special day or anniversary by contributing to the fund. Others may wish to

22 | FuneralTimes

hold their own in-memory fundraising event such as Run To Remember or fundraise by taking part in one of our organised events such as the upcoming 2023 Red Dress Fun Run at Stormont Estate on Sunday 26th February.

There’s no limit as to how little or often you or anyone can donate to the fund and we keep in regular touch with the tribute fund holder with updates on how much has been raised in memory of their loved one, and details on the important work that it is supporting, helping people across Northern Ireland get back on their feet again after a chest, heart or stroke related illness.

If you are interested in setting up a tribute page or would like to find out more on behalf of a bereaved family, then please contact our friendly community fundraising team who will be there to offer guidance every step of the way and supply additional materials to support any planned fundraising activities.

Please telephone 028 9032 0184 or email: communityfundraising@nichs.org.uk You can browse our in-memory tribute pages at www.nichs.muchloved.org

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www.mortuary-science.ie Re s to r a t i o n a n d Re co n s t r u c t i o n C o u r s e s 2 0 2 3 We are very pleased to announce our two Restorative Courses for 2023. These will take place on May 21st and September 17th.

Places for these courses are limited and Enquiries should be made to info@mortuary-science.ie These are “hands on” courses and will include: • Assessing the type of trauma and how to deal with it.

• Treating Tissue • Wax Blending • Advanced Suturing • Colour Correcting • Airbrushing • Cosmetics • Geometry of the face • Constructing facial Appendices

Our Reconstruction Course involves full cranial reconstruction.

Attendance to this course is by invitation only and students may only be invited after completing the restoration course.

Please check website for updates

www.mortuary-science.ie FuneralTimes | 23

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Martin and Claire Power, Powers Funeral Directors, Ferrybank, Co. Waterford get the keys to their newest addition, a 5 Door Quinn E Class

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FuneralTimes | 25

Out with the old and in with the new...

- By Ian Fee -

Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

A

s I write this, it’s the middle of January, and Christmas probably feels like a distant memory. Many of us take the new year as a time for renewal, for resolutions that we believe may have some profound effect on our lives. We’re full of good intentions, but you know what they say about the road to Hell!! Good intentions extend far beyond ourselves though. It’s not just about losing a few pounds, getting healthier, learning that new skill or giving up some old bad habits. It can be about a new attitude, a new commitment to something we’re a part of, something that’s important to us. Our work life can certainly be a part of this, both where we work and how we work.

Setting a new bar for ourselves isn’t about lofty ambitions, or trying to outdo others. It’s about that balance between who we are and how that is reflected in our work. In the funeral business, there are always new innovations and I’m sure 2023 will be no exception. They’ll be something shiny to catch our eye, a new gadget or gizmo that we may be convinced will make life easier,

and while it’s important to move with the times and to keep ourselves up-to-date on anything that might genuinely help us in our work, it invariably comes back to the basics of how we work and how we are with those who come to us for assistance and support in their saddest hour. No number of externals will cover for the internal. Most people won’t notice what brand of hearse we use, but how we carried them and their loved one over the days following the death, that will stay with them always.

Every family we work with shares something of themselves with us. We learn from them, from their experience of grief and loss, and their experience informs ours. We may feel that we’ve seen most things, that very little will surprise or move us in new ways, but each new year finds ways to surprise us. We need to be open to these moments, moments of shared insight and epiphany. These encounters can reset our compasses and give us a sense of new direction and purpose, just what we need to shake off the old year, and launch into the new.

Our Crematorium, Facilities and Remembrance Garden are available 7 days a week to accommodate Families and Funeral Directors (no weekend surcharge) Memorial Keepsakes

Lakelands Crematorium, Dublin Rd, Cavan, Co. Cavan Tel: 049 4362200 / mob: 086 2458489 email: info@LakelandsCrematorium.ie www.LakelandsCrematorium.ie

BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi All, I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and is sticking to those New Year’s Resolutions! I hope that people got to enjoy time with their family and friends. Obviously in this line of work we have to work all through the holidays for the poor families that lost their loved ones at this hard time but remember that they will always be grateful for your hard work even if it’s not said to you.

That memory they have of getting to spend those precious few hours with their loved ones before a funeral, trust me they appreciate the work you’ve done for them.

We had our AGM and first meeting of 2023 on the 29th January in the Hamlet Court Hotel, Johnstownbridge. We appreciate everyone that showed up in person and through zoom. Also I would like to thank the Reps from ESCO fluids on their presentation. It was very much appreciated and highly educational. We will definitely be having you back for another presentation. Again this has been another request from our members to have presentations on different embalming chemicals on the market 28 | FuneralTimes

and we are working hard to meet all requests for our members. We are always open to more requests either contact myself or our secretary Jenny, our details are on the next page.

On a final note, I would like to bring all our members attention to the letter that I circulated to everyone.

I really hope everyone takes 5 minutes out of their day to read it as it is important for the future of our Division.

BIE Irish Chairperson Niamh Cusack

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2022/2023 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson & Divisional Liaison Officer: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford.

Tel: 086 3744762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com Vice Chairperson: Robert Fehily MBIE Strand Road, Carrigaline, Co. Cork Tel: 087 660919 E: robertfehily@gmail.com Secretary & Public Relations Offcer: Jennifer Tighe MBIE St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333 E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com 1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuaryscience.ie Treasurer: John Hawe MBIE 12 Meadow Vale, Smith’s Road, Charleville, Co. Cork Mobile: 087 6390087 E: jmhawe@eircom.net Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran 20 Cedarwood Park, Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile: 086 0619500 E: susan.moran@mortuaryscience.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION Chairman Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk

1st Educational Committee Representative: Stephen Shields MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@ funeralpartners.com

Vice Chairman: Mrs N Taggart, MBIE 11 Alderley Crescent, Newtownabbey BT36 7WY Tel: 07917 220073 E: nikkiknockaning@aol.com

Student Liaison Officer Mr Frank Harron MBIE

1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com

1st Vice President: Dianne Hughes

2nd National Council Representative: Ellison Sloan MBIE Tel: 028 3833 6175 Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals. com

National President: Richard D. Van Nes MBIE Imm. Past President: Bobby Hopkins-Hoggarth MBIE

2nd Vice President: Mrs Rachel Shipley MBIE National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Tel: 01335 361419 Mobile: 07786 432014 E: karencaney@btinternet.com National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Business Tel: 01582 490005 Home Tel: 01525 860117 E: michael@silsloe.wanadoo.co.uk

Secretary: Liam Edwin Boyle, MBIE 4 Bradford Place Belfast BT8 7AW Tel: 07713 575501 E: liamboyle15@hotmail.co.uk

Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk

Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie Tel. 07523 477852 27 Navan Court Armagh

Master Fellow: David Kaye FBIE Student Liaison Officer: David Coster MBIE FuneralTimes | 29

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Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Professionals gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also co-hosts the only social media for business radio show in Ireland called “The Let’s Get Social Show” every Friday at 2pm on Dublin South FM and the show is on podcast too. Check out www. fitsocialmedia.ie to learn more.

Why use social media for your funeral home in 2023?

Social media is here to stay and it’s growing in popularity every day. It is a powerful tool which has many benefits. It can help funeral homes connect with their families and communities, increase visibility, attract future employees, build relationships and so much more.

So why use it and what are the real benefits?

Your social media presence allows people searching for funeral services online to find your funeral home and that’s not all: Increased awareness: Your social media presence can help families searching for funeral services online find your funeral home.

Improved communication: Social media is a great way to keep families informed about services and updates.

Relationship building: Social media can help you connect with your family and build relationships with your community.

Family education and support: Use social media to share educational and supportive content for grieving families.

Personalisation: You can use social media to show a personal side of your funeral home.

This helps families feel more comfortable and connected.

Inexpensive: Social media marketing is relatively inexpensive and can reach a wide audience.

Building a sense of community: Social media can help create a sense of community among those who have lost loved ones and help people feel less alone in their grief.

Target specific audiences: Social media allows you to target specific audiences, such as: Families in specific geographic locations, or individuals of a specific age or gender.

Performance Measurement: Social media analytics tools measure social media performance, analyse follower and audience behaviour, and provide valuable insights to help improve strategies and create more effective campaigns.

FuneralTimes | 33

Plus there are the benefits of attracting future staff such as:

Recruiting: You can use social media to post job vacancies and interact with potential employees.

Increased awareness: Your social media presence allows potential employees looking for job opportunities online to find your funeral home.

Employee engagement: Use social media to engage and communicate with current employees. This increases employee satisfaction and retention.

Showcase your company culture: You can use social media to showcase your funeral home’s values ​​and culture and attract employees who share those values.

Networking: Social media can be used to network with other funeral homes and industry professionals to help attract new talent.

Building a positive reputation: You can use social media to build a positive reputation for your funeral home. This makes it more attractive to potential employees.

Employee referrals: You can use social media to encourage current employees to refer friends and family. This is an effective way to attract new talent.

Creating a sense of community: Social media can help create a sense of community among current and potential employees, making the funeral home a more desirable place to work.

Training opportunities: Use social media to share training opportunities and educational resources. This can make the funeral home more attractive to potential employees.

34 | FuneralTimes

By using social media to connect with potential employees, showcase company culture, and build a positive reputation, funeral homes can attract prospective employees and improve employee satisfaction and retention.

How can I make the most of it and save time?

There are several ways that funeral homes can make the most of social media and save time:

Create a Content Calendar: Schedule content ahead of time so you can create and schedule posts in batches instead of on the fly. Here are some content ideas to help: - Share educational content about coping with grief and loss.

- Share testimonials from families who have used your services.

- Share photos and videos of funeral homes and staff.

- Use your blog to share your expertise with detailed helpful information on bereavement, funeral planning and other related topics.

Use automation: Social media scheduling allows you to schedule posts in advance.

Be on the right channels: Choose social media platforms that are most likely to reach your audience, rather than trying to be on every platform.

See what’s working: Measure your performance on social media, analyse follower and audience behaviour, and provide valuable insights to help you improve your strategy and create more effective campaigns.

Keep on track: Be consistent in your contributions, engagement tactics and stick to your schedule. This saves you time as you don’t have to spend extra time trying to catch up.

To Conclude

Social media is a very valuable asset for funeral homes to connect with families and communities, increase business visibility, attract/retain future staff and build local and global relationships. Through strategic use of social media, funeral homes can maximise the benefits of its use, save time and future proof their funeral business going forward.

Need more ideas or help?

If you have any questions on this or would like more information on improving your online presence, marketing strategies and saving time using social media and digital marketing for your funeral home, or just want have a chat with me, check out my website www.fitsocialmedia.ie or why not email me at eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie And you can find me on social media, follow me and I will follow you back and let’s connect.

Also delighted to say that “The Let’s Get Social Show” that I co-host on the radio every Friday has had a revamp - it’s now on YouTube as well as on podcast so hope you can check them out too. And if there’s any topic you would like us to cover, get in touch and we will mention your name and business on the show.

Thank you for reading.

Eimer

If you have any more questions, send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition.

All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish. You can contact Eimer by email at: eimer@fitsocialmedia.ie.

FuneralTimes | 35

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A

humanist funeral is a non-religious ceremony led by a humanist celebrant, which remembers the person who has died with warmth, sensitivity and meaning. It focuses entirely on them, the life they have led and their relationships. It also celebrates Can a hymn or a prayer be included? A the legacy that they leave, in their children humanist funeral is not an act of worship, and and grandchildren, in their achievements or makes no reference to an afterlife. It recognises in their way they have left their imprint on that the person who has died has lived their those around them in acts of inspiration, one life and has now gone, and will become education or kindness. nerals The and memorials ceremonies focus part of the cycle ofwhich nature. But sometimes a celebrant will spendare timenon-religious with the member might want to include a prayer learn all about thethey personled, to create n whofamily hastodied, the life and thefamily relationships they that is important to them, or there is a favourite a totally personal and authentic ceremony are based onmay the humanist perspective thatfrom every hymn schoollife days that would be fitting. script. This follow a traditional structure, Although the celebrant won’t lead any religious but ultimately the family can choose exactly nd unique. readings, they will find a way to make it work how they want to commemorate their loved within the ceremony. onememorial - there are noisrules. and neral or theReadings, perfectpoems option All our celebrants are trained and annually music are often included, and there may be d friends who want a sincere, personal Humanist funerals andhave memorials accredited and complete CPD. They DBS a symbolic ritual, such as friends and family are ceremonies on of their one, without religion. checks andnon-religious are insured. Significant for funeral that writing loved messages and placing them with the directors, theyon operate a network with has shareddied, focus the as person who coffin, or everyone coming forward to place a and memorial ceremony is tailored values andlife standards practice, flower on it. the theyofled, andwhich the means relationship that, in the rare situation where a celebrant is Humanist are wishes inclusive, and who has died, funerals and the of everyone they forged. They are based on the taken ill, there is usually someone else to cover. is welcome regardless of their belief or faith. humanist perspective ho loveThere them, in the most fitting way Humanist Ceremonies celebrants arethat every life is usually a moment for quiet reflection valuable and professional and trustedunique. partners for funeral on the of the person and all they have been, may be an life upbeat celebration directors, sensitive and supportive to the needs which allows time for a silent prayer for anyone emony with a more traditional tone. of their non-religious funeral families. or memorial is the who wants it.

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38 | inclusive FuneralTimes erals are and welcoming to ackgrounds and faiths. They often include

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perfect option for families and friends who want a sincere, personal reflectio

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very so often, embalmers are confronted with a situation where the condition of the body that has been received straddles the fence between being able to be embalmed and unable to be embalmed. This circumstance is brought about by many different factors such as traumatic injury, decomposition, or even disease. Bodies that have been severely traumatized will often have tissue missing and are unable to be restored, or the vasculature may be disrupted, and not carry the preservative solution to the required areas. When injuries are severe enough, the body simply is not able to be successfully embalmed.

Disease can render the person unable to be embalmed through the destruction of tissue, tumors, and lesions, as well as causing gross deformities that are irreversible by the embalmer. Occasionally the treatment of the disease can also inhibit the successful embalming of the body, e.g. steroid therapy which causes swelling and the inability of preservative solutions to reach the protein.

Another deterrent to successful embalming that is becoming more prevalent is a greater length of time elapsing between death and embalming. Embalmers have always dealt with unavoidable delays when a death occurs and the body is undiscovered, however, it seems that more frequently an embalming delay is caused by logistical circumstances. In several areas around the country, an autopsy may be delayed several days due to the availability of a pathologist. In another example, permission to embalm may be withheld until all surviving children have been polled to determine if it is desired. When a family is spread all over the country and in several time zones, this can delay permission for one or more days.

44 | FuneralTimes

Compiled, all of these issues find the embalmer at times having to determine whether the family needs to hear those dreaded words, “We’re not sure we’ll be able to show him or her.” As things normally go in funeral service, the funeral director will then generally hear, “Oh, we really wanted to see him or her, do the best you can.” The embalmer then has to determine how much effort to put forth for the situation.

As I have written many times over the years, embalmers can surprise themselves with the result, when they decide to do their very best.

I took a call from a customer who had received a remains that had died approximately three days previous to him receiving the body. The body was a male Caucasian, and exhibited some of the early indications of tissue gas, as well as being found in a facedown position. There was some distention in the face, primarily the lips, eyes, and temples, as well as the neck. The face also was severely discolored in several areas. The extremities and abdomen did not show signs of advanced decomposition. While the overall condition of the body was fair, the distention and discoloration of the facial features might make some embalmers pause when determining if the embalming would be successful enough to make viewing feasible. The family desired viewing if at all possible.

The body was embalmed using a solution of 48 oz. of Introfiant, 48 oz. of Proflow, 32 oz. of Rectifiant, and 32 oz. of Halt GX with an equal amount of warm water. The total solution injected was two and a half gallons. This solution was used to maximize preservation, and stabilize the body, with the Halt GX added to stop the suspected tissue gas. The result of the embalming was successful. There was no additional swelling from the tissue gas, and

the skin surfaces dried and remained stable achieved. The bulging appearance of the eyes which is necessary for the restorative and presented a different problem. When examining cosmetic treatments. The body remained in the eyeball, it looked as if it were distended due the preparation room overnight and further to pressure within the eye itself, and not just the treatment began the next morning. tissue surrounding it. It would not be practicable When we examined the body the next to apply the same technique to the eye as was day, two areas that needed restoration were used on the temples, as the same amount of immediately evident. From a photograph the pressure couldn’t be used to compress the fluid family had brought in, it was very noticeable out of the area. It also didn’t seem advisable that the temples and eyes had swollen due to begin dissecting tissue within the orbit to to the beginning of the decomposition. The lower the eyeball, since I felt there could be embalming had reduced them to a slight extent, the possibility of persistent fluid leakage after but not to the point where they would appear the procedure. For that reason a small incision normal when cosmetics had been applied. The was made in the upper portion of the eyeball swelling in the temples and the vitreous humor extended downward on removed using forceps and The body was a male each side of the face to absorbent cotton. After this a point in front of the Caucasian, and exhibited had been accomplished tragus of the ear. This was on both sides, it was some of the early probably caused by the necessary to cauterize the body lying face down for indications of tissue gas, interior of the eyeballs such a long period of time. to prevent any further as well as being found The tissue had become leakage. A protective layer congested with blood, in a facedown position. of Kalon White Massage causing the distention, Cream was applied to the There was some and embalming had not skin surface surrounding alleviated this problem. A the orbit of the eye. The distention in the face, 15 gauge 6” hypodermic cream creates a primarily the lips, eyes, massage needle was inserted at a protective barrier on the point just inside the hairline and temples, as well as skin in case the cauterant immediately above the would inadvertently drip the neck. area of the temple where out of the eye onto the the distention began. The surrounding skin surfaces. swollen area was vigorously channeled to break Using a hypodermic syringe, a small amount of up the engorgement, the needle removed, and Basic Dryene was injected through the incision pressure applied with the heel of the hand on in the eyeballs to cauterize and prevent leakage. top of a pad of Webril towel to protect the skin After ten minutes, forceps and absorbent cotton surface from abrasion. Moving from the furthest were used to remove any excess Basic Dryene. point, back toward the opening made by the The interior of the eyeball was then thoroughly hypodermic needle, fluid was removed from the dried, again using forceps and absorbent cotton. distended area. This procedure was repeated A small quantity of Q-S Powder was squeezed several times, with additional fluid being forced into the eyeball through the incision to provide out in each instance. With the removal of the additional insurance against leakage. While fluid through the opening, and the redistribution the removal of the vitreous humor eliminated of fluid into the surrounding tissue, a significant the unnatural protrusion of the eyeball, at amount of the distention was removed. the same time it made it necessary to restore After this method of fluid removal had been a natural curvature to the eye when the lid completed, Kalon White Massage Cream was was closed. To accomplish this, Inr-Seel was applied to the area, and a Tissue Reducer was placed over the eyeball approximately level used to further reduce the distention. With the with the bone surrounding the orbit of the combined effect of these two techniques, an eye. The concave side of an eye cap was then appearance much closer to the photograph was filled with Inr-Seel and placed in the eye. To FuneralTimes | 45

confirm that the proper height of the eye had been recreated, a straight-edge was laid from a point on the highest ridge of the eyebrow to the highest point of the cheekbone as a guide.

The eyelid was approximately the same height as the two points, which confirmed the correct contour had been established. This procedure of lowering the protrusion of the eyeball eliminated the bulging appearance that had previously been present and brought the facial features back to a much more normal look.

Given that the swelling of the eyes had stretched the tissue of the upper and lower eyelids, after the swelling had been reduced, there was slackness to the tissue in these areas.

After covering the eyebrows and eyelashes with small moistened strips of Webril cotton, and applying a layer of Kalon White Massage Cream to the surface of the eyelids, the Tissue Reducer was carefully applied to reduce the excess wrinkles. By keeping a layer of massage cream between the skin surface and the heating element of the Tissue Reducer, there was no scorching or burning of the skin. This treatment tightened the tissue slightly, adding to the improvement of the appearance of the eyes.

The treatment of the distention of the temples and the reduction of the eyes restored a much more recognizable appearance to the subject.

It is important to keep in mind that when restorative procedures such as the ones mentioned here are considered, it is prudent to have a signed authorization from the next of kin giving permission for procedures which may include dermal surgery, or surgical alterations to the deceased.

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NAFD News BBC News leads with NAFD President’s Bereavement in Education campaign

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he new year got off to a high profile start for the Association with coverage on BBC Breakfast, BBC Radio 4 Today, BBC news online and the BBC News Channel of the campaign to encourage age-appropriate conversations about loss and bereavement, in schools, as part of the National Curriculum.

NAFD President John Adams was filmed at his Shropshire funeral home and twelve-year-old Immy Leith, whom John had first met after he supported the Leith family with the funeral of Immy’s mum Kerry in 2020, was interviewed with her friends at school, talking about her experience of loss as part of work Oldbury Wells School is now doing to put proactive learning about bereavement into the curriculum.

The coverage also included interviews with the children’s writer Michael Rosen, author of The Sad Book, who is bringing out a leaflet to support children who experience loss, and Dr Louise Dalton, Clinical Psychologist at the University of Oxford, among others, as the story gathered pace during the day.

The coverage also sparked conversations across social media about the topic, with more than 18,000 people engaging with the NAFD about the story on Twitter alone, and provoked numerous emails from bereavement charities and educators, seeking to work with the Association on the campaign.

You can sign the petition to help get the issue debated in Parliament, by visiting: https://petition.parliament.uk/ petitions/624185

Andrew Judd appointed NAFD Chief Executive Andrew Judd, a former member of the NAFD Executive Committee, President of the NAFD Western Counties Area Federation and Operations Director for Dignity plc, has been appointed by the NAFD Governing Board to be the Association’s new Chief Executive.

Reflecting on his appointment, Andrew said: “I have been involved in the NAFD for more than 30 years and I am honoured to be invited to play a part in shaping its future success. I think the younger me, the one who took the minutes for South Wales Area Federation meetings in the late 1980s and early 1990s, would be particularly thrilled.

50 | FuneralTimes

“Having cut my teeth in a small independent funeral firm in Swansea, as a 14 year-old Saturday boy, followed by periods in both Edinburgh and Bristol, this profession and the NAFD have been running through my veins for my entire adult life. It feels as though I have come full circle and I have amassed the experience and seasoned understanding, across the entire UK end-of-life sector, that I need to lead the Association into its next chapter.

“Throughout my career I have been privileged, through countless opportunities across the United Kingdom, to experience, interact with and respect the expertise of all front line

funeral teams – seen and unseen – that care so passionately for the deceased in their care and the loved ones who mourn their loss.

“I moved into management in the early 1990s but have been determined to keep my hand in by personally arranging and conducting funerals of family, friends, colleagues and neighbours ever since. In doing so, I have never lost sight of why we do this critical and important job – nor the issues facing frontline funeral teams.

“My long-term involvement in the NAFD at both a national and regional level has also enabled me to build a wide network of independent funeral business owners, bereavement associations, kindred organisations and suppliers to the profession, and I now look forward to serving them and their needs in my new role. All our stakeholders are so invested in this amazing association. I would like to thank the Chairman and the NAFD Governing Board for giving me this opportunity to make a real difference, which let’s face it, drives us all in the funeral profession wherever we are and whatever we do.

“There’s a lot of work to do, but I will also be spending as much time as I can getting out and about to talk to members, to make sure I am clear on their expectations from the NAFD and, in return, they understand the myriad of ways in which the NAFD’s small, but talented team is able to support them.

“The NAFD is rightly recognised, by Government and others, as the only truly representative association for the funeral profession and I see my roots and connections with small independent firms, background at Dignity and Co-op Funeralcare, and my volunteer experience in the NAFD as a massive asset. I understand how all parts of this profession think and how to bring the different parts of the membership together, to ensure the NAFD delivers for all of them and the bereaved people they care for.”

Chair of the Governing Board Jonathan Rees, who chaired the recruitment panel, welcomed Andrew to the NAFD, saying: “Andrew has worked for both independent funeral firms and larger corporates and, as such, brings a uniquely broad perspective on the challenges facing funeral firms, not only at a strategic level, but also from the ground up – having continued arranging funerals throughout his 38-year career.

Andrew Judd, NAFD Chief Executive “That kind of informed thinking is what the Association needs and what stakeholders like Government have come to expect from the NAFD – and Andrew is well placed to deliver it.”

“He joins us at a pivotal time for the funeral profession, as we face new economic and regulatory challenges and as we continue to implement the Association’s Five-Year Strategy, published last year. I look forward to working with him to continue the change underway to ensure the NAFD not only continues to offer the unparalleled representation and benefits of membership that it is valued for – but also continues to modernise and expand its horizons, to ensure it is an agile, responsive organisation meeting the needs of all modern funeral businesses, whatever their size, that are striving for excellence.”

NAFD President, John Adams, who took part in the recruitment panel added: “Andrew brings a wealth of knowledge of the funerals business and has an undoubted passion for service to bereaved and deceased people that has earned him the respect of funeral firms and stakeholders across the UK. I am looking forward to working with him to bring stability during challenging times and maintain the development of the NAFD as the voice of the funeral profession.”

FuneralTimes | 51

NFE 2024 launches with a new brand, a third hall – and new date format!

Thursday 13th June - Saturday 15th June 2024 Stoneleigh Park

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vibrant new brand for the National Funeral Exhibition launched at the end of October, when it was also revealed that the 2024 show would run with a new three-day format from Thursday to Saturday and floor space would increase by more than a third to encompass a third hall and larger outside exhibition area.

One of the world’s most popular funeral sector exhibitions, many of the international exhibitors that were unable to attend the show in 2022 due to lingering COVID travel rules, will be back as the show returns, bigger and better than ever.

In response to feedback from both visitors and exhibitors, the 2024 exhibition will be held from Thursday 13 June to Saturday 15 June 2024 at Stoneleigh Park in central England, close to Birmingham International Airport.

The show is also expanding into a third hall for the 2024 show, in response to interest from exhibitors for more stand space for new brands and larger display areas. A larger outside exhibition area has also been designed, to provide additional space for vehicle manufacturers to showcase their latest models.

Jane Lawrence, NAFD Event Operations Manager, who organises the show explained: “The NFE brand has been reinvigorated with a bright and vibrant new look, echoing the 52 | FuneralTimes

optimism and trust in the NFE brand that we see from the market.

“It’s one of three major step changes in the show that exhibitors and visitors will see when they visit the website.

“We’ve also opted to slightly change the format. It remains a three-day event but, over the years, Sunday has become progressively quieter as a show day, so is clearly less attractive to visitors – and this naturally does not work well for exhibitors.

“Feedback from last year’s exhibitors and attendees asked for more of the show to be held during the business week, but one weekend day to be preserved to ensure that those unable to leave their businesses Monday to Friday would still be able to attend. So we’ve moved to a Thursday-Saturday format, which has met with a very positive response from the market.”

“Hall 1 and Hall 2 are almost fully reserved already, so exhibitors should get in touch to reserve their preferred space as soon as possible.”

If you would like to exhibit at the show, you can download the latest floor plan at www. nationalfuneralexhibition.co.uk. Why not follow @funeral_exhibit on Twitter to keep in touch with all of the news from the National Funeral Exhibition?

NAFD volunteer members attend reception with His Majesty King Charles III In November, a small group of NAFD member volunteers attended a reception at Buckingham Palace recognising the contribution of small businesses to the UK economy.

D

uring the reception, the group chatted to the Earl of Wessex and Duke of Kent – while NAFD President John Adams also had a five-minute conversation with the King. They spoke about the origins of the NAFD, the work funeral directors do to care for bereaved people and his determination to see young people who suffer loss better supported through the addition of education about death, dying and bereavement to the National Curriculum.

John said: “It was an unforgettable moment – and an opportunity I could not miss to talk to His Majesty about the work we do as funeral directors and take my education campaign right to the top. The King was genuinely interested and asked lots of questions about the NAFD, about funeral directing and about what I was hoping to achieve with the campaign. It was the cherry on the cake of a fantastic evening with some of my closest colleagues and friends in the NAFD.”

The Earl of Wessex and Duke of Kent were similarly interested in the work of the group, praising funeral directors for their front-line role during COVID and their compassion and care of those who died and their bereaved families; a rare, but welcome, opportunity to find out that the work of the profession is both seen and respected by the Royal family, even if it is not publicly mentioned.

FuneralTimes | 53

NAFD Past President Jeremy Field receives OBE from HRH King Charles III In November, NAFD Past President Jeremy Field OBE received his honour from His Majesty The King in an investiture at Windsor Castle, the first since the King ascended to the throne.

Jeremy, of CPJ Field & Co was recognised in the 2022 New Year’s Honours, for his service to the funeral profession and to the nation during the pandemic. As well as being a past president, Jeremy is the Association’s policy and legislation representative and was on call almost 24/7 during the peaks of the pandemic; sharing his time, knowledge and expertise for the benefit of others by reviewing guidance, attending meetings with Government departments and advising the NAFD team on support provided to members - despite facing considerable pressures as a working funeral director in his own family business.

Jeremy was accompanied at Windsor Castle by wife Victoria and the elder two of his three children, daughters Jessica and Georgie. He later went on to the Buckingham Palace Small Business Reception, hosted by the King, along with other NAFD volunteers.

NAFD members gather in Stratford-upon-Avon for the NAFD Autumn General Meeting 2022 In November, almost 200 NAFD members gathered for the Association’s Autumn General Meeting, with challenging economic conditions, lively debate, online snap polling and a focus on care of the deceased dominating the agenda.

After the Association business was completed, Independent Funeral Standards Organisation chair Natalie McKail joined the meeting virtually, from Scotland. Natalie addressed the meeting to outline the work that she and her team were now engaged in to re-establish the inspections programme across the UK and build awareness and understanding about IFSO with government, particularly in Scotland and Westminster. The focus of the afternoon then moved towards 54 | FuneralTimes

care for deceased and bereaved people with Kelly Sherlock and Anna Briggs from The Human Tissue Authority, presenting a session on the work of the HTA, its regulatory approach and framework and liaison with the funeral profession, after which there were numerous questions from the floor.

The discussion led neatly into the last session of the day, a debate in the room about some of the key questions that the sector may well face once the Fuller Inquiry turns its attention to funeral homes and other places where the funeral sector cares for deceased people.

Wrapped around the meeting was a vibrant exhibition of sponsors from across the sector, enabling members to network with colleagues

NAFD Member Benefits

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For more information on any of these benefits you receive as a member of the NAFD, please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk P Na N tional al As Asso sociat soc iation iat ion off Fu Funer neral ner al Dir Direct ecttors @NA AFD F _UK K @NAFDU @NA @ NAFDU FD K /"'% JT BO BQQPJOUFE SFQSFTFOUBUJWF PG 4&*# *OTVSBODF #SPLFST XIJDI JT BVUIPSJTFE BOE SFHVMBUFE CZ UIF 'JOBODJBM $POEVDU "VUIPSJUZ

NAFD Annual General Meeting and key suppliers before, during and after the meeting. In her speech to the meeting, Interim CEO Elaine Walder paid tribute to the support of event sponsors for this and other

NAFD events – thanking them for their support and noting that they were actively helping to significantly reduce the cost to the Association of running national events.

Direct cremation industry research presented to NAFD members I n November, the NAFD sent out a detailed deck of slides to members containing research findings about the growth of the direct cremation industry. The headlines were also presented to the Autumn General Meeting.

The survey was conducted with support from Funeral Solution Expert (FSE) and Trajectory Partnership and was designed to build an accurate picture of how NAFD members are feeling about direct cremation and the growth they are experiencing in their businesses;

56 | FuneralTimes

explore possible USPs, opportunities and efficiencies that funeral firms can offer compared to trade providers; and shape a picture of perceptions of consumer views on the topic ahead of potential consumer research to validate that view.

FSE donated £500 to Hospice UK on behalf of participants in the research. The next stage of the project is to explore these themes with consumers, subject to funding, and proposals for this work are now being developed.

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Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund rounds off 50 year celebrations with Thanksgiving service Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund rounded off their 50th celebrations with a special Thanksgiving Service at the Chapel of Unity, Methodist College Belfast on Sunday, 27 November.

Rev Willie Nixon officiated with key medical staff, kidney donors, their families and transplant recipients taking part. A poignant “lighting of candles”, by guests and members of the congregation, took place in remembrance of all affected by kidney disease. The first three candles reflected on different journey’s within transplantation and were lit by donor family member, Leah Carter representing Remembrance; transplant recipient Claire Moore representing Thankfulness, and Denis McNeill, currently on a waiting list for a kidney transplant, representing Hope.

Special guests included the Deputy Lieutenant, Dr Frank Sellar with his wife Claire, who brought greetings and congratulations from the Lord Lieutenant Dame Fionnuala Mary Jay-O’Boyle DBE DStJ; Deputy Lord Mayor, Councillor Michelle Kelly, and NIKRF’s Ambassador chef and food

Kidney Recipient Emma, with her family and Buddy dog, Blossom 60 | FuneralTimes

NIKRF Executive Committee with Deputy Lieutenant, Dr Frank Sellar and Belfast Deputy Lord Mayor, Councillor Michelle Kelly writer Paula McIntyre MBE. Medical staff included NIKRF Patron and retired Consultant Nephrologist Dr James Douglas; Professor Peter Maxwell, Emeritus Professor of Renal Medicine, QUB and former NIKRF medical advisor; Dr Aisling Courtney, Nephrology Consultant, Clinical Lead for Kidney Transplantation, Belfast; Dr Michael Toal, Specialist Trainee in Renal Medicine and NIKRF current Research Fellow.

Rev Jim McCaughan, and his wife Alison, launched a new annual bursary in memory of their daughter, Dr Jenifer McCaughan, Consultant Transplant Nephrologist at the Belfast City Hospital and director of the Histocompatibility and Immunogenetics Laboratory in Belfast.

This award will enable the chosen applicant to present their kidney or H & I research at a prestigious conference.

Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund (NIKRF) is the leading voluntary organisation raising funds for life saving research into the causes and possible cures for kidney disease in the

Group photo the Kidney Cow. Exciting times are ahead as we work tirelessly to support this important research and NIKRF are proud to be part of this journey.”

C

Robert Scott of NI Kidney Research Fund is pictured accepting a generous donation from George Fleming, President of Belmont Bowling Club, who had ‘fun’ fundraising at their New Year’s Eve party!

BR ELE AT

YE

G IN

province. 90% of funds go directly to research.

The charity also promotes organ donation and fully supports the new Opt Out legislation becoming law in Spring 2023.

Dr James Douglas, Patron of NIKRF says “As a consultant formerly involved in the treatment of kidney failure for over thirty years, I can personally attest to the enormous importance of the Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund in the development of renal medicine over the past fifty years. By its support of research fellowships, it has helped to create a reservoir of medical, surgical and scientific knowledge and skill, without which the development of renal services in the province would have been much more difficult. By its promotion of organ donation, it has contributed to improved public understanding and increased transplantation rates. By its inventive and effective fundraising, it has been a beacon of public generosity. By its voluntary and dedicated nature, it has made an unforgettable contribution to the motivation of all involved in renal medicine, dialysis, organ donation and kidney transplantation.”

Chair Susan Kee comments, “It is a great honour and privilege to be Chair of NIKRF as we celebrate our 50th Anniversary. From its inception in 1971, I want to pay tribute to all who have volunteered with the charity and to all our former and present Research Fellows.

Looking forward to the future, NIKRF have spent the last two years rebranding, welcomed our first Ambassador, and our new mascot, Bella

ARS

FuneralTimes | 61

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The man with 10 funerals From Ballyfallon to Los Angeles, Irish language revivalist Eoghan Ó Gramhnaigh was as notable in death as he was throughout his intriguing and much-heralded working life.

RTE covered a beautifully written piece by Dr Tracey Ní Mhaonaigh, Associate Professor in the Modern Irish Department of Maynooth University late last year detailing just some of the more interesting story which remains largely unknown to those outside Athboy, Co. Meath where he was born in 1863.

A central figure in the Irish Language revival of the late 19th and early 20th Century, his proud body of work stemmed from translating Irish Songs such as Auld Lang Sang (An t-am fad ó), latterly producing his widely recognised Simple Lessons in Irish, a series of booklets which assisted the Gaelic League accommodate the demand for Irish lessons.

His name, so the story goes, was however largely unknown to the greater populace until his death, at which point he, perhaps

unwittingly, became a figure for the displaced Irish.

Having become ordained in 1889, his life on home soil saw him quickly become editor of Irisleabhar na Gaedhilge and appointed Professor of Irish in Maynooth. It was his failing health which saw him set sail for the drier climates of California and later Arizona in 1894, eventually succumbing to his deteriorating condition in 1899 where he passed away at the Mercy Hospital, LA. There followed a routine burial at the nearby Calvary Cemetery, as could be expected, however Eoghan’s story was only truly beginning as at home in Maynooth, a man named Micheál Ó hIceadha, the successor to his Irish Chair, mourned his death as well as his burial afar from Irish soil, a sentiment widely echoed in speeches and discussions, primarily amongst Gaelic Leagues. It took until 1903 for his grave in LA to be opened and exhumed, quickly followed by another funeral mass, before travelling to San Francisco where he lay in state, attended by various members of Irish societies.

Following the customary funeral mass, his journey continued, taking in Chicago and New York, en route to Queenstown, before arriving in Dublin at the Pro-Cathedral. The College Chapel and graveyard in Maynooth were the sites of his final funeral mass and resting place (following the commissioning of an oratory), however the tales of thousands lining the streets in New York and the grand processions through the streets of Dublin have been long forgotten.

FuneralTimes | 63

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Jennifer Muldowney is an event planner for memorials in the United States of America and Ireland and is currently partnered with the prestigious Frank E. Campbell - The Funeral Chapel in NYC as their in-house event planner.

Jennifer is also notable as author of Say Farewell Your Way, Tedx speaker of ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and host of ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’.

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Would you rather be compost?

Gas-fueled cremations and toxic burials in cemeteries are currently the only options available to Irish Funeral Directors and their clientele. But this will not forever remain the only ways we care for our dead. We all know this and there are so many options currently in prototype build, in pilot mode or a simple idea in someone’s head. So how might deceased people’s bodies be attended to, honored, and better utilized in the future?

We know of Alkaline Hydrolysis (Water cremation, Bio Cremation, Fireless Cremation et al.) but what about Terramation or Human Composting or Natural Organic Reduction (NOR for short)?

Katrina Spade from Washington State in the USA, was the designer/entrepreneur behind the Recompose project, a project that propelled the idea of turning a body into compost into the media spotlight. She invented a system to transform a dead body into soil while earning her Masters of Architecture. After years testing the concept, the Recompose project won the approval of Washington state’s legislature and it has gone on to become legal in six other states in the US. Return Home is another company that offers NOR in the US (and Canada via shipping) and they have helped win the legal battle using the #IdRatherBeCompost hashtag on social media in Oregon, Colorado, Vermont, California and now just this year New York State. You may have heard Katy and Briana on the Aftering Irish Podcast last year.

So what exactly happens to the body?

The unclothed body is placed into a sealed, environmentally controlled cylinder vessel on a bed of a blend of woodchips, wet alfalfa and 66 | FuneralTimes

straw. The temperature of the body naturally rises over the course of a month and the vessel is aerated with oxygen creating microbes which quickly transform the body into organic matter.

After one month, all that remains is soil which is removed from the vessel to cure, and once complete, the now fertile soil is ready to return to the earth. The soil will be regulated as with current cremains.

While I believe it will be met with lots and lots of questions like any new method of disposition, I do believe the Irish Community will embrace the idea thoroughly when educated on it since we are historically a farming and land focused country. It is certainly a fascinating conversation of how nature’s principles might be harnessed to more efficiently return deceased bodies to the earth, sequestering carbon and improving soil health.

Thoughts?

Saif News Saif News Meet the Team

A

s we start the new year, it is a good time to reintroduce the team at the SAIF Business Centre.

Many of you may have spoken to the SAIF Business Centre at one time or another but apart from continuing to provide support to our members each of the team has a key responsibility: Terry Tennens Chief Executive Officer Claire Day Administration Manager Sharon Welford IFD Education & SAIF Administrator Maria Sherlock Membership Administrator (new applications) Sam Reynolds Standards Administrator (Complaints & Quality Assurance) Angela Camp Digital Administrator Any of the team can be contacted on 01279 726777, or email info@saif.org.uk

From all at SAIF Business Centre we wish you a Happy New Year for 2023

SAIF Membership SAIF membership continues to go grow stronger and if you are not a member then please do not hesitate to visit the SAIF website https://saif. org.uk/why-join-saif/, click on the QR code or call the office on 0345 230 6777 for further information.

SAIF AGM / Banquet Weekend 2023 S

AIF’s AGM/ Banquet weekend will be held at The Spa Hotel, Royal Tunbridge Wells 3 – 5 March 2023. On the Friday evening there will be an opportunity to spend time networking and meeting with our associate members whilst being entertained by Dave Sharp. Therefore, if you are a funeral director and a member of SAIF please do not delay and book your place by visiting https://saif.org.uk/events/saif-annualgeneral-meeting-and-banquet-weekend-2nd-to5th-march-2023/.

For further information on upcoming events and member resources please visit www.saif. org.uk Please be advised that there is limited spaces at the banquet being held on the Saturday.

68 | FuneralTimes

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Just for laughs...

By Mattie Lennon

Y

oung Father Martin was excited.

As his first official duty in his first parish. Fresh out of the Seminary, he got to officiate his first funeral for a homeless man with no friends or family.

The young priest vowed to give him the most loving send-off, the love he probably missed in this life.

The funeral was to be held at a new cemetery outside a small town in rural Ireland and this man was the first to be laid to rest there.

New to the area, Father Martin arrived late, but noticed a few workers gathering around the grave opening. The young and enthusiastic priest poured out his heart and soul as he gave his sermon and recited the prayers. His voice was so evocative and powerful that he brought the cemetery workers to tears.

When the service was over, the priest thanked the workers for listening and walked to his car. As he opened the door, he heard one worker say to the other, “ Do you know Mick I’ve never seen anything like that before and I’ve been putting in septic systems for over 20 years!”

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Paddy Mulligan.

”Did she say anything before

she died?” asked the sergeant.

“She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said Mulligan.

“ I hear Doyle

died, “ said Pat.

“Was he ill long?”

No,” said Mick.

“He died in the

best of health.”

Spotted in West Wicklow..

A visitor to a Lyreacrompane commented to a local Garda that it was a quiet little place. The Garda replied, “quiet to be sure, we haven’t buried a living soul in years.”

Beneath this stone lies Murphy. They buried him today.

He lived the life of Reilly, while Reilly was away

FuneralTimes | 71

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Attitudes towards Grief and Grievers

By Dr Bill Webster

A

ttitude is a little thing that makes a huge difference.

Death, loss, and grief are universal experiences that touch everyone, regardless of race, religion, ethnicity or gender. But the beliefs, attitudes, and opinions that are held and expressed about these topics are not unanimous.

Long before experiencing a loss of their own, individuals, communities and cultures form beliefs and attitudes about emotions, grief, and the many circumstances that precede and follow deaths or a loss. Some of these mindsets may be helpful in the person’s grief, while others reflect negative attitudes which create unfortunate stereotypes. Our words often reflect implicit attitudes and biases picked up over the years. Most expressions of grief by grievers and observers are fundamentally a learned behaviour.

But that does not make them right … or helpful.

Attitudes after a death or loss often begin with sincere sympathy, which can be classified as “compassionate, empathetic, and helpful.”

But sadly, at least from my observation, all too quickly, that moves into misinterpretation of the griever’s experience which might catalogue as “misunderstood, patronising, and otherwise negative or critical.” leading to some adverse attitudes and erroneous stereotypes.

The following statements reflect some of the attitudes grieving people endure: 1. The Negative Statement: “You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and move on. I thought you’d be over it by now!”

The Implied Attitude: “People should be able to get over their grief and move on … preferably quickly. There are time frames for grief. Things like empathy and understanding from others are time-limited. It’s weak to continue to grieve for longer than a set amount of time.”

74 | FuneralTimes

2. The Condescending Statement: “People have been through worse. Losing your husband is nothing compared to the death of a child. At least he lived a good long life.”

The Implied Attitude: You are weak compared to others. Certain types of loss are less valid and significant than others. Certain types of loss are less deserving of grief, sympathy, and support than others.

3. The Judgemental Statement: “I am going to hang up now – call me back when you stop crying. You’ve got to pull yourself together! You can’t go on like this.”

The Implied Attitude: You need to be stronger and less emotional. Your grief is unacceptable.

Your expression of grief and emotion is abnormal or undesirable.

Here is an important principle. “Statements usually come out of attitudes.” There are 3 steps in the formation of an attitude: a) Awareness: Even if a negative or stigmatizing statement has not been said personally to someone; even if they’ve heard it expressed in any form about anyone, whether a friend, community member, celebrity or even a TV character, the individual (or the group) is now aware that it exists. They recognize this as a prevalent attitude among their peers and culture. b) Agreement: The second step in the formation of selfstigma is where a person, exposed to negative messages or statements from those around them about their loved one, their loved one’s death, or their grief, decides whether or not they “buy into” this prevalent attitude, bias, or stereotype. “Does this apply to me? Is this what people think of me? What have people been saying about me?” And because they are vulnerable, and because they themselves don’t

understand their own behaviours and reactions, they are much more likely to be swayed by the opinions, perceived or actual, of others. c) Application: Thus influenced by awareness and agreement, the person applies the stereotype to themselves. “I must be weak; I must not be coping; I must be crying too much or grieving too long.” Thus internalizing these attitudes and statements, and suffer numerous negative consequences as a result In short, statements lead to stances which create stereotypes.

Words are important. I try to give the benefit of the doubt whenever possible and acknowledge that sometimes people say things they don’t really mean. But even when the harm is unintentional, words can be hurtful.

I am coming to understand that we can only change what people say and do by helping change how they think. How can we encourage people out there to change their attitude towards grief and death? Not an easy task, but there again, nothing worthwhile is ever easy.

But maybe the keys to changing outlooks on grief will come from grieving people themselves. Instead of changing the negative attitude of those who see grief as a weakness, or at the other extreme, those who regard it as a mental disorder, let’s take a new approach.

My goal in 2023 is to help grieving people change the way they’re thinking about their current situation by looking for evidence that contradicts their existing beliefs. How do we do that? Regularly, two or three times a week, we will post a short video on my Facebook page “Bill Webster” (to which you can link in on your own website.)

At the same time we will invite people to respond by sharing their stories giving them a forum to let them express what they have found helpful, and even more to discover that they are not alone in their experiences.

C.S.Lewis puts it, “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one!’”

I feel the way forward is to challenge long held negative attitudes and stereotypes. That will come by providing ongoing information and encouragement which will validate and legitimize a more positive and constructive approach to grief. Grieving people, given the right resources and support, can look after themselves because the key to recovery is always to promote personal empowerment.

As my mentor Zig Ziglar expressed it, “Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process .

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss.

The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.

FuneralTimes | 75

Fortnight waits to bury loved ones as priest shortages pose a problem Increasingly, recent months have seen bereaved families across Ireland holding more and more services in funeral homes as fewer active priests frequently increases the delay for a Church Mass.

With a huge number of parishes operating with just one serving cleric, compared to the traditional two or three, it often results in a highly reduced ability to accommodate only one funeral per day. Adding in to this the one day a week each cleric is entitled to take off, and it is plain to see the limitations placed on arranging a church service in a timely manner for a funeral.

The speed with which arrangements are made and burials occurr has long been a

staple in Irish tradition surrounding death and mourning.

The Catholic Communications Office have stated that fewer and fewer are joining the priesthood in Ireland, a trend which has been underway for some 30 years already, with the Irish Catholic Bishops Conference showing only 10 students commencing studies for Irish Diocese last year.

This growing issue therefore does not seem likely to dramatically improve any time soon, with funeral directors across the island turnng to humanist or civil celebrants more and more and opting for in-house services in their own premises or alternative, secular venues such as hotels.

GerryWreath McDermott Manufacturer Circular Road, Roscommon

Mob: 086 2544126 or Mob: 086 8205215 76 | FuneralTimes

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I’d like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways.

Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

I’d like the tears of those who grieve to dry before the sun.

Of happy memories that I leave when life is done.

FITZGERALD t=ITZGERALI> & & COMPANY C()MPAINY SOLICITORS !;OLICITOR�; Block D07 PA0D Block 1,1, Arran ArranSquare, Square,7 7Lincoln LincolnLn, Ln,Dublin Dublin, D07 PAOD

Acquisition Opportunity Acquisition Opportunity Funeral & Monumental Company Funeral & Monumental Company Business Information

Business Information Industry: Funeral & Monumental

Inclustry: Funeral & Mom mental Financial: 2021 turnover €909,576 Financiai: 2021 turnover -�909,576 EBITDA: €173,767 EBffDA: €173,767 Location: Greater Dublin Location: Greater Dublin Founded: Over 140 years Founded: Over 140 years.

Business Focal Points

Business Focal Points

• Well established and respected brand established and respeccedarea brand.

• *Well Commanding large catchment

large11.2% catch�ent area.

• ·i:comrianding Population growth growth 11.in2% • *Population Largest funeral home 10-mile radius

funeral home in 10-mile radius.

• "'Large,;t Preplanned funeral folder established funeral folder • *P1-eplanned Premises and Business onestablished. point · Premises and Business on pJint.

Sale Information

Sale Information

The Tre owners wish totoretire theircommunity community many years.

Theyengaged have engaged l1aving served served their for for many years.

They have owners wish retirehaving Fitzgerald & Company Solicitors to explore the sale of the business on an offers invited basis.

Fitzge1·ald & Company S0!1citors to explore the sale of the business on an offers invited bas1�..

Note of importance:

Note of importance:

A confidentiality agreement will the identity identityofofthe thebusiness business is provided A confidentiality agre1�ment willbeberequired required before before the is provided and we reserve the right to request proof of funds. and we reserve the right to request proof of funds.

Enquiries to:

Enquires to:

Pauline Fitzgerald Pauline Fitzgerald Office: 01 Office: 01 8727562 8727562 Email: pfitzgerald@fitzgeraldandco.ie

Email: pfitzgerald@fitzgeraldandco.ie Mandate Reference: 220704

Mandate Reference: 220704 The information pmvided in this document is solely for information purposes and has

The information provided in thisverified document is solely&for information purposes and has not been

by Fitzgerald Company. not been verified by Fitzgerald & Company.

No representations or warranties are provided as to the accuracy, completeness, or

No representations orvalidity warranties are provided as to the accuracy, completeness, or of the information contained herein. validity of the information contained herein.

Classifieds... Classifieds...

For Sale

For Sale

SEPT 2011 JAGUAR XJ HEARSE

2003 VAUXHALL HEARSE

• 3.0L D • 49000 miles • Finished in black over claret • Cover boards • Flag pole • Excellent condition • Full M.O.T. PRICE £35,000 O.N.O.

• Excellent condition • Only 50k miles • Selling due to upgrade

FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT: RONNIE THOMPSON FUNERAL DIRECTORS TEL: 07860 923377 / 028 9260 7367

For further information call ROI 087 2456 479 or NI 07704 550140

Price Reduced for Quick Sale

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82 | FuneralTimes