Funeral Times issue 4 2024

TheFTmagazine Funeral in Ireland Advert 2024 - Issuefor - Front Cover - R2.pdfDirectors 7 04/09/2024 11:44:33

2024 Vol.24 No.4

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NON-RELIGIOUS FUNERAL AND MEMORIAL CEREMONIES

Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

A humanist funeral or memorial is the perfect option for families and friends who want a sincere, personal commemoration of their loved one, without religion.

Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailored to the person who has died, and the wishes of the people who love them, in the most fitting way possible. That may be an upbeat celebration of life or a ceremony with a more traditional tone.

Humanist funerals are inclusive and welcoming to people of all backgrounds and faiths. They often include time for reflection on the person who has died, when those with religious beliefs can say a silent prayer, if they wish.

Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.

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The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Erich Falconer Page 6

James Brown reaches 120 Page 14

Patrick Gallagher obituary Page 52

Contents How Falconers Undertakers is changing the future.................................................. 6 IAFD News.................................................................................................................................... 8 James Brown celebrates 120 years in business............................................................ 14 Eimer Duffy on the benefits of Facebook ads.............................................................18 Entheos expertise in child and infant funerals.......................................................... 30 BIE News....................................................................................................................................... 36 Drowning cases and frozen bodies by Lincoln Plain................................................40

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI

SAIF News..................................................................................................................................... 51 Patrick Gallagher obituary.................................................................................................... 52 This is your life, by Ian Fee ................................................................................................. 58 NAFD News..................................................................................................................................61 Mattie Lennon asks Who fears to speak of ’98.........................................................69 Jennifer Muldowney on Grief in pop culture.............................................................. 71 Kidney Research find beauty with a purpose..............................................................74 Grieving a client or colleague by Dr Bill Webster................................................... 80

Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Classifieds....................................................................................................................................82 Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

FuneralTimes | 3

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How Falconers Undertakers is Changing the Future of Funeral Services In an exclusive conversation with The Funeral Times, Erich Falconer, Managing Director of Falconers Undertakers in Waterford, shared his vision for the future of the funeral industry.

As one of Ireland’s most respected funeral directors, Erich is a third generation funeral director and has been a steadfast figure in the industry, and now, he is pioneering an innovative approach to funeral services that embraces both tradition and modernity.

Navigating a Changing Industry During the interview, Erich spoke candidly about the challenges facing funeral directors today. “We’re in an era where the way people engage with services is rapidly changing,” he observed. “Families no longer rely solely on word-of-mouth; they expect price transparency, ease of access, and support when they need it most. This shift has prompted us to rethink how we deliver our services.”

Erich acknowledged that while these changes present challenges, they also offer opportunities for innovation. “The need for transparency has never been greater,” he said.

“Families want to understand their options clearly and make informed decisions without feeling overwhelmed.”

Innovation Rooted in Community Erich’s response to these challenges has been the launch of a new, highly transparent website that offers detailed information on services and pricing. “Our aim was to create a platform that not only meets modern expectations but also supports families during their most difficult times,” he explained. The website’s introduction 6 | FuneralTimes

of Star Kids Care Packs, designed to support children and families as they cope with loss, is a testament to this commitment to community care.

Another standout feature of the website is the Churches of Waterford directory. Erich described this as a crucial resource for both families and funeral directors, offering detailed information on local churches, including contact details, histories, and distances from Falconers’ Tramore location. “This tool is about making the planning process smoother for everyone involved,” he noted.

Supporting Fellow Funeral Directors When asked about his broader vision for the industry, Erich’s response was clear: “We’re all in this together. The future of the funeral industry depends on our willingness to support each other and share our knowledge.”

Erich emphasised that he will assist fellow funeral directors who may be considering enhancing their own online presence. “If someone needs advice on creating a website, I’m happy to share my experiences and the contacts that helped me. It’s not about hiding our knowledge; it’s about fostering a sense of collaboration within our community.”

He continued, “I believe it’s time we, as funeral directors, support each other to grow. By working together, we can build a stronger, more resilient industry that honours our traditions while embracing the needs of the future.”

The road ahead As the interview concluded, Erich reiterated his call for unity within the industry. “The road ahead is one we should walk together,” he said. “Innovation and collaboration are key to ensuring that we continue to provide the highest standard of care, while also adapting to the changing needs of our clients.”

Falconers Undertakers’ new initiatives are a reflection of this forward-thinking approach, and Falconer’s leadership sets an example for

the industry. As funeral directors across Ireland consider how to navigate these changing times, Erich’s message is clear: the future is brighter when we work together.

FuneralTimes | 7

A message from Niall Mulligan, IAFD President

During my recent visit to the National Funeral Exhibition 2024 at Stoneleigh Park, I was warmly greeted by attendees upon arrival.

Ned Sweeney, the father of our Vice President Niamh, was among the first to welcome us.

Nearby, Gerard Duffy drew considerable attention with his new Model Mercedes Hearse, which was a highlight among attendees.

Conference Highlights The event kicked off on Saturday morning with a series of thought-provoking presentations by a lineup of inspiring speakers. These speakers offered invaluable insights into the future of funeral services, sparking engaging conversations.

A highlight was Bill Webster’s profound talk on “The Importance of a Meaningful Goodbye.” Bill Webster is renowned for his contributions to Funeral Times, and I encourage you to explore his new short videos on his website, www.griefjourney. com, which are designed to help families cope with grief. The afternoon was dedicated to networking within the exhibition, providing an excellent opportunity to connect with industry peers and explore innovative ideas and products. It was also a pleasure to meet several members from Ireland who travelled to explore the diverse range of exhibitors.

Niall Mulligan and Dr Bill Webster 8 | FuneralTimes

Niall Mulligan pictured with Andrew Judd, NAFD CEO and Jenny Gilbert Trigg, NAFD President NAFD Policy Updates NAFD CEO Andrew Judd shared critical updates on NAFD policies, with a focus on the forthcoming regulation for members in Scotland, which will take effect next March and then extend across the UK. This focus on regulation deepens IAFD commitment to ensuring all members comply with our new Excellence Programme, aligning them with potential regulations in Ireland. Completing the Excellence Program is essential to meet the EU standards it encompasses, and the Board is committed to providing the necessary support for all members to achieve this.

Reflections and Networking Attending this conference highlighted the strength and unity within our Association. The combination of professional development, recognition, and celebration made this event a memorable and impactful experience. After an informative day, we were graciously invited to join NAFD CEO Andrew Judd, President Jenny Gilbert Trigg, and Vice President Darryl Smith for refreshments and networking. I look forward to applying the knowledge and connections gained from this event.

IAFD Board Recognises the Importance of Self-Care in the Funeral Profession While it is rewarding, the funeral profession can be emotionally taxing. Funeral directors, embalmers and staff often support grieving families during their most challenging times.

Acknowledging the emotional demands, the Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) Board emphasises the importance of selfcare. This article explores the necessity of self-care for funeral professionals and offers practical strategies to maintain well-being.

Emotional Challenges in the Funeral Profession Funeral professionals play a vital role in helping families navigate death and loss. However, their duties carry a significant emotional burden. Constant exposure to grief can lead to emotional fatigue, compassion fatigue, and burnout.

• Emotional Fatigue: Continuous exposure to intense emotions from grieving families can leave funeral professionals feeling drained.

• Compassion Fatigue: Absorbing the trauma and pain of others diminishes empathy.

• Burnout: Characterised by exhaustion and cynicism, burnout significantly impacts mental health and job performance.

The Role of Self-Care Self-care involves taking proactive steps to maintain and improve well-being. For funeral professionals, it is essential. The IAFD board underscores several reasons to prioritise selfcare: 1. Emotional Resilience: Regular self-care builds emotional resilience, enabling professionals to manage stress effectively.

2. Preventing Burnout: Focusing on personal needs helps prevent burnout and maintain high-quality care.

3. Maintaining Compassion: Self-care replenishes emotional resources, sustaining the capacity for compassion.

Practical Self-Care Strategies Funeral professionals can incorporate various self-care practices into their routines: • Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices reduce stress and improve emotional regulation.

• Physical Activity: Regular exercise relieves stress and boosts mood and energy.

• Setting Boundaries: Establishing clear boundaries between work and personal life is crucial.

The funeral profession is both challenging and vital. To sustain compassionate care, funeral professionals must prioritise self-care. The IAFD board’s recognition of self-care practices promotes resilience, prevents burnout, and maintains emotional well-being, ultimately benefiting professionals and the families they serve.

Disclaimer: The IAFD board and its members are not medical professionals. Always seek professional assistance for mental health and well-being concerns. Please visit www.mentalhealthireland.ie/ for more information about support services in Ireland FuneralTimes | 9

FOR THE ATTENTION OF IAFD MEMBERS Please be advised the Irish Association of Funeral Directors Annual General Meeting will be held on Saturday 16th November at 2pm in Trim Castle Hotel, Co. Meath Followed by the Presidents Dinner

10 | FuneralTimes

Niall Mulligan (President) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim, Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: president@iafd.ie Niamh Sweeney (First Vice President and Education Officer) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow, Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: education@iafd.ie Paul Reilly (Hon. Secretary) Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors Leinster Street, Maynooth Ph: 045-868230 Email: reillysfuneralhome@gmail.com

Tom Lawless (Immediate Past President) Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Dara Gillespie Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Donal Forde Fordes Funeral Homes Ltd South Gate Bridge Cork, Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: donal@fordesfuneralhome.ie

Pat Smyth (Hon. Treasurer) Smyth’s Funeral Directors Lanesboro Street, Roscommon Ph: 0906 626122 Email: treasurer@iafd.ie

Kylie Gourley Funeral Partners Northern Ireland 300 Newtownards Road Belfast BT4 1HF Ph: 028 9045 1021 Email: kylie.gourley@funeralpartners.com

Fintan Cooney (Membership Officer) Fanagans 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: membership@iafd.ie

Peter Maguire Massey Bros Funerals Head office 109 The Coombe, Dublin 8, D08 AK10 Telephone 01 4533333 Email peter@masseybros.com

John Mark Griffin (Public Relations Officer) Griffin Funerals John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick Ph: 061 415000 Email: pro@iafd.ie

FuneralTimes | 11

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emoval vehicles completed recently for Ronnie Thompson Funeral Directors, Lisburn, Co. Antrim and Kieran Madigan Funeral Directors, Askeaton, Co. Limerick.

Funeral Directors mark significant milestone by supporting local charities with substantial grants J

ames Brown & Sons, a longstanding institution in Belfast, is celebrating its 120th anniversary by continuing its tradition of community support.

The company has made a significant impact on local charities having donated thousands of pounds to various good causes.

Having moved to Belfast from Ballybay, Co.Monaghan in 1904, James Brown established a business that would eventually become James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors.

Initially a coal merchant and furniture remover, Mr Brown arranged his first funeral in 1932 and the family name has become synonymous with caring for people ever since, now working from seven funeral homes in and around Belfast.

In 2022 the business launched its Community Fund, with the aim of providing financial assistance to programmes which support vulnerable people in the local area. So far, they have pledged more than £45,000 to various community-focused groups.

The recipients from the latest round of funding in June included Caring Breaks, a charity supporting families and carers of people with learning disabilities, for a music therapy and relaxation scheme, Mountpottinger Presbyterian Church, which will expand its Freezer Food Mission to deliver frozen meals to those in need, The Rathfern Junior Hill Wardens, to support their nature-based sessions for autistic children aged eight to twelve and Youth Initiatives, to run EmpowerHer, a ten-week holistic wellness programme for young women aged fifteen to eighteen in East Belfast.

Other organisations awarded funding were All Saints Church, Sólás, a special needs charity, Walkway Community Association and The Annadale and Haywood Residents Association, to launch a Community Café.

James Brown, who joined the business his grandfather set up more than 60 years ago and is still actively involved today, said: “Celebrating our 120th anniversary is a moment to reflect on

14 | FuneralTimes

Pictured above are James Brown, his daughter Beverley, and Branch Manager Andrew Neale the impact we have had in our community.

“Since I joined the business in 1960 much has changed, but our commitment to caring for people in difficult times remains constant.

“The Community Fund, supported by Funeral Partners, enables us to help even more people.

We have built meaningful relationships and witnessed firsthand the incredible work of these charities. Congratulations to the latest recipients; I look forward to seeing their projects thrive.”

The business remains a true family affair. James’ daughter, Beverley, is the Community Relations and Marketing Manager for the business, and its parent company Funeral Partners. Branch Manager Andrew Neale has also been with James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors for decades, starting with the business when he was just 17.

Funeral business support school’s inclusivity programme F

uneral Directors helped support an inspirational programme which aims to make schools accessible for young people with hearing loss.

James Brown & Sons Funeral directors were invited to attend Cregagh Primary School to mark the completion of the Engaging with Sign: A Language for You and Me initiative.

The programme was facilitated by the Controlled Schools Support Council (CSSC) and aims to create an inclusive deaf-friendly learning environment for schools educating children with severe or profound hearing loss.

Youngsters were able to participate in interactive sign language workshops.

Funeral Manager Andrew Neale said: “We’d like to offer a heartfelt thank you to

Funeral Directors mark anniversary of historic play group

A

Funeral Directors helped celebrate a half century of a local play group which has helped hundreds of local children get a good start in life.

Representatives from James Brown & Sons Funeral Directors were invited to the 50th anniversary celebrations of Dee Street Play Group having previously supported them with a grant for a music and dance therapy programme for youngsters with additional needs from their Community Fund.

The play group began in 1974 when a number of local women were determined to have a place where their children could go.

Volunteers raised vital funds and worked tirelessly to become properly trained and get the group officially registered.

They’ve been at their current home at the Dee Street Community Centre since 1979. Beverley

Andrew Neale from James Brown and Sons is pictured with Tracey Woods from the CCSC and Cregagh Primary School Principal David Heggarty Cregagh Primary School for the invitation.

“Their dedication to fostering inclusivity and understanding is truly inspiring.”

Brown, Community Relations and Marketing Manager for James Brown & Sons, said: “We have a great relationship with the play group who do such brilliant work for the children in the local community.

“These are exactly the sort of groups we want to support with our Community Fund – not only with grants, but also to create longstanding relationships.”

Beverley Brown at the 50th anniversary of the Dee Street Play Group FuneralTimes | 15

Your reputation is our reputation.

Thinking of selling your business? You’ll be in safe hands.

Over 100 family businesses and growing Be part of our story Selling is one of the biggest decisions that you will ever make for your business. You’ve worked for years to build your business, so we understand there is a lot to consider, let us assure you, you will be in safe hands.

I feel it’s a very positive step because Funeral Partners share our core values, they understand that the families we work with are the foundation of all funeral businesses.

Jon Baird, Bairds of Antrim Funeral Directors

For an informal conversation about selling your business now, or in the future, call: Sam Kershaw, Chief Executive Officer 07834 531822 sam.kershaw@funeralpartners.co.uk

Steve Wilkinson, Acquisition & Mergers Director 07528 970 531 steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk

corporate.funeralpartners.co.uk

IAFD ASSOCIATE

Celebrating five years of service Declan Stephens is celebrating five years in business during which time he has continued to grow his reputation through Ballymena and it’s large County Antrim hinterland.

D

eclan acquired the business from his friend and associate Sean Hassan just before Sean passed away, and changed the name to Hassan Funeral Services. “Sean established Sean Hassan Funeral Directors in 1975” says Declan “and we had worked together in my role as a supplier of headstones and memorials. I watched with admiration as Sean grew the business, opening a funeral home in 2001. “When Sean became ill we spoke about the future of the business and I was proud when he chose me to continue the good work he had begun”.

Five years later Hassan Funeral Services goes from strength to strength and Declan is determined to continue the personal service for which the firm is renowned. “We strive to serve the local community and with a

professional, courteous and confidential caring service carried out with dignity and respect. We are very conscious of the modern day inflated funeral costs and strive to offer affordable prices.

“We are always deeply honoured when a family requests us to attend to the funeral arrangements of their loved one. Our aim is to relieve families of further stress and worry at this difficult time. We intend to continue to serve the community to the highest standards and are always seeking to improve our service”.

Declan Stephens, Hassan Funeral Services

FuneralTimes | 17

Eimer Duffy is a Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media. Through bespoke solutions, Eimer helps Funeral Professionals gain a better online presence, build communities and trust online with zero stress and hassle in a short space of time. She also co-hosts The Let’s Get Social Show and you can catch that on all the major podcast channels such as Spotify etc... And for more information on what Eimer provides go to www.fitsocialmedia.co.uk

5 Benefits of using Facebook Ads for your Funeral Home For Funeral homes, the ability to reach out to local communities online is paramount. If you are not tech-savvy, this can sometimes be daunting. Being on various platforms is important such as Facebook. And using Facebook Ads present an incredible opportunity to engage with families in need of your services. Here are some benefits of using Facebook Ads for your funeral home.

BENEFITS: 1. Unparalleled Reach

Facebook boasts over 2.8 billion active users globally. This makes it an exceptional platform to reach a broad audience. For funeral homes, this translates to the ability to connect with local communities effectively. By using Facebook’s robust targeting options, you can ensure your ads reach the right people, at the right time and in the right place.

2. Precise Targeting Options

One of the standout features of Facebook Ads is its sophisticated targeting capabilities. You can target ads based on demographics, location, interests and behaviours. For example; ads can

be tailored to reach individuals within a specific geographic area. Who may have recently experienced bereavement or interested in endof-life services.

3. Cost-Effectiveness

Facebook Ads can be cost-effective, offering a significant return on investment. With flexible budgeting options, you can start with a modest budget and scale up as they see results. This means even smaller funeral homes can compete with larger ones without breaking the bank.

4. Engaging Ad Formats

Facebook provides a variety of ad formats such as image ads, video ads and carousel ads.

This flexibility allows you to choose the most appropriate format to convey your message compassionately and effectively.

5. Real-Time Analytics and Adjustments

Facebook Ads come with robust analytics tools that allow you to track the performance of your ads in real time. This means they can see what works and what doesn’t. And make necessary adjustments to optimise your campaigns.

18 | FuneralTimes

HOW TO GET INTO USING FACEBOOK ADS?

Here are steps to help you get started:

quality images or videos, and write a message caption that resonates emotionally with your audience, with a call to action.

1. Getting started

3. Budgeting and Scheduling

2. Crafting Your Ad

4. Monitoring and Adjusting

- Access Facebook Ads Manager: Once on your Facebook page, go to the Ads Manager. This is where you will create and manage your ads.

- Set Your Objective: Facebook Ads Manager offers various objectives. Such as brand awareness, reach, traffic and engagement.

Choosing “Reach” or “Engagement” can be particularly effective.

- Choose Your Target Audience: Use the targeting options to specify your audience.

Focus on local demographics and interests related to your services.

- Select Ad Format: Pick a format that best suits your message. For a compassionate touch, video ads or carousel ads showcasing your services and facilities can be very impactful.

- Create Engaging Content: Ensure your ad content is sensitive, clear, and concise. Use high-

- Set Your Budget: Decide on a daily or lifetime budget. Start small and scale up based on performance.

- Schedule Your Ad: Choose whether to run your ad continuously or set a start and end date. For timely messages, scheduling can ensure your ad runs at the most appropriate times.

- Track Performance: Use the analytics tools in Ads Manager to monitor your ad’s performance.

- Make Adjustments: Based on the data, tweak your audience, budget, or content to improve results.

All in all,

Facebook Ads offer you a powerful tool to reach and engage with your local communities.

By leveraging precise targeting, flexible ad FuneralTimes | 19

formats and real-time analytics, you can stand out more in a competitive market. If you’re a Funeral Director looking to expand your reach and connect with more families in need, consider exploring Facebook Ads. Start small and see the positive impact it can have on your business. And do think long term with a social media ads strategy.

Are you considering updating you or your staff’s social media/online presence knowledge?

Want to have a chat about it and receive a free online video audit of your current online presence to gain insight into what your customer sees, then do get in touch with me. Visit www.fitsocialmedia.co.uk for more information and you can email me at eimer@ fitsocialmedia.co.uk.

If you have any more questions, send them into Eimer and she will answer them for you, and we will publish them in our next edition.

All questions submitted and published can be anonymous if you wish.

You can contact Eimer by email at: eimer@fitsocialmedia.co.uk

Congratulations Eimer!

We, at Funeral Times, would like to congratulate Eimer on being a finalist at this year’s “The Good Funeral Awards 2024”. She has been selected from the nominations for “Best External Supplier to the UK Funeral Industry”. The event is being held at The Eden Project in Cornwall on the 14th September 2024. Unfortunately the magazine will be at the printers then, so next issue, we will have more on Eimer’s trip to the Awards!

20 | FuneralTimes

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NEW

DE LIVERY

Farquhar Macleod Funeral Directors of Skye add a unique silver E Class hearse to their existing fleet.

This is Farquhar’s second 4Matic hearse making it ideal for the harsh winters on the Isle of Skye.

QUALITY WHERE IT MATTERS Established in the early 1990’s, DJ MacNeice & Company Limited has forged a reputation as the leading supplier and manufacturer in the funeral business in Ireland. Here at DJ MacNeice, we value the needs and individual requirements of each of our customers. That is why all our mortuary and funeral products are sourced and manufactured to meet the highest industry production standards.

Here at DJ MacNeice & Co we cover all your funeral supplies needs from embalming fluids, mortuary supplies for mounting and linings for caskets and coffins, grave mat sets, grave markers and a high quality selection of urns and keepsakes cards. All our products are manufactured to the highest standards.

All new solid and plastic handles at a competitive price!

(Contains 8 pieces in set) High quality metal handles finished in polished gold effect.

Perfect for every coffin in the market.

39 euro a set.

High quality ABS Plastic Handles finished in polished gold.

Perfect for cremation coffins 12 euro a set

www.djmacneice.com info@djmacneice.com (071) 913 3145 Please contact (071) 913 3145 for more information.

Advertorial

Gift each of your families a thoughtful memorial charm S

ome of you may have met Helena Gilhooly at the Funeral Times Trade Show 2023, after she and Eimer Duffy of FIT Social Media assisted us with marketing the show on social media and then exhibited at the show.

As well as being an expert on social media, Helena, who is based in Dublin, has another string to her bow! She has an online business creating, among other things, beautiful memorial charms, which grieving family members normally order directly from her website or social media shops, to hang in their cars, in their homes or even on their Christmas tree.

After meeting funeral directors at the show, Helena had an idea of how they could gift their families with one of her charms, especially at Christmas or even along with their funeral invoices, which go out throughout the year.

As funeral directors, you know better than anyone that your role extends beyond the arrangements and ceremonies. You have the unique opportunity to offer solace with this small but tangible keepsake to grieving families, which can be a beautiful daily reminder of their loved ones throughout their busy day to day lives.

Helena tells us, ‘My online customers have particularly embraced my Car Angels with Holy medals, which I introduced recently. However, I have a full range of Memorial Charms, which

24 | FuneralTimes

can be tailored to the funeral directors bespoke requirements.

For less religious families they can carry a selection of plain Angel Charms, Heart Charms (plain or with message included) or, for the more religious family, they can incorporate Holy medals like the Archangel Michael sample, who you can call on when you need protection of any kind. If you’re scared or concerned for your safety, Michael will be there to help you. He offers courage and guidance when you feel lost, and he loves to help healers perform their work. I offer something to resonate with every family, with each item being made with the utmost care and quality, ensuring it serves as a lasting tribute.’

‘By gifting these beautiful memorial charms, you can extend your support to families beyond the funeral service. These keepsakes serve as gentle reminders of the life and love shared, helping families navigate their grief with tangible symbols of remembrance. Creating a lasting memory and heartfelt tribute that families can appreciate for years to come’. Helena continued.

A full selection of Helena’s Memorial Charms can be viewed online, however funeral directors can buy directly, at her wholesale multi bundle rate. From €15 per piece for 25, from €14 each for 50 and from €13 each for orders of 100+ plus delivery.

If you would like to take up this special offer, please contact Helena on Tel. 00353 (0)85 247 3842, email: busybeaders2013@gmail. com, Instagram: busybeaders_ or online at www. busybeaders.com

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Enhancing Support Beyond Goodbye:

The Importance of After-Funeral Care In the ever-evolving landscape of funeral services, providing continuous support to bereaved families is as crucial as managing the funeral itself. After-funeral care represents a vital service extension that not only aids families during their difficult times but also fortifies the funeral home’s role as a compassionate and supportive community pillar.

What is After-Funeral Care?

After-funeral care is a suite of services designed to support bereaved families postfuneral. This comprehensive programme extends beyond traditional funeral services, providing practical, emotional and administrative support.

The services typically include direction and help with administrative, estate and financial matters, and continued communication from the funeral home. This systematic approach ensures no family feels neglected once the funeral service has ended.

Benefits to Families 1. Administrative Assistance: Dealing with the deceased’s estate can be overwhelming.

After funeral care often includes help with paperwork, such as death certificates and insurance claims, reducing the bureaucratic burden on the family.

2. Educational Resources: Providing families with information about grief, coping mechanisms, and practical steps for the future helps them feel more in control during a tumultuous time.

3. Continued Emotional Support: Grief does not end with the funeral. After-funeral care provides ongoing direction to counselling and support groups, helping families navigate their grief journey at their own pace.

26 | FuneralTimes

Benefits to Funeral Directors 1. Enhanced Customer Satisfaction: By offering extended care, funeral directors can significantly improve client satisfaction. Our comprehensive service helps build strong, lasting relationships with families, who may recommend the funeral home to others.

2. Increased Service Value: Offering afterfuneral care differentiates a funeral home from competitors who may not provide similar services, adding value to the funeral home’s offerings.

3. Opportunities for Additional Revenue: While the primary focus of after-funeral care is support, it also opens up avenues for additional services such as preplanning for other family members and commemorative products.

4. Improved Cash Flow Management: Implementing consistent after-funeral care helps clarify expectations surrounding the funeral account. This transparency and ongoing communication can speed up payment processes, substantially enhancing the funeral director’s cash flow.

Introducing My Farewell Wishes: Pioneering After-Funeral Care At our recent event in the Hodson Bay Hotel, My Farewell Wishes launched our cuttingedge after-funeral care service that redefines after-funeral care, uniquely designed to support funeral directors while enhancing the support extended to bereaved families. Recognising the crucial role of continuous care, our service combines the human touch with advanced digital tools to manage after-funeral care with sensitivity and efficiency.

• Human Connection: Our approach prioritises personal contact, ensuring that families feel supported by a caring presence that can empathise and respond to their emotional needs.

• Digital Integration: Leveraging technology, we provide funeral directors with robust tools to automate and manage follow-up tasks seamlessly. Our platform sends reminders, grief support resources, and personalised checklists to families, ensuring they receive timely and relevant support.

• Comprehensive Checklists: We offer detailed checklists that guide families through post-funeral tasks, from legal obligations

to personal memorials, easing their burden during the grieving process.

Interested in Finding Out More?

Are you a funeral director interested in enhancing the way you support families after the funeral? Learn more about how My Farewell Wishes can help you extend compassionate and comprehensive care long after the physical services are concluded.

Contact us today: • Phone: 042 603 9990 • Email: info@myfarewellwishes.ie

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Gerry and Andrea Coyle from Rockcorry, Co. Monaghan collect their newest 3 Door E Class hearse from Quinn’s Hearse and Limousine in Co. Antrim.

Morning Grave Products, Listillion, Letterkenny, Co. Donegal Tel: 074 9120449 Email: morningdonegal@gmail.com Web: www.morninggraveproducts.ie 28 | FuneralTimes

Expertise in Child and Infant Funeral Ceremonies

Karen Dempsey, Entheos Founder

Losing a child or infant is a devastating experience for families, one of the most painful experiences imaginable. At Entheos we have a community initiative “Lara’s Legacy”, to offer our help and support to families during this most difficult time.

A

s the founder of Entheos and a Hospice and Obstetric Nurse, Entheos Director Karen Dempsey witnessed the challenges faced by families when arranging a funeral for a baby or child, particularly if they do not follow a traditional faith path. Planning such a funeral can be overwhelming during an already distressing time, often leading to pressured decisions. To address this, Entheos has trained a team of dedicated Entheos Celebrants who specialise in Child and Infant Funeral Ceremonies. We work together with the Bereavement Team and Funeral Directors to provide guidance and practical support to grieving families as we co-create the funeral service, simplifying the funeral planning process.

There is no charge to the family for these services. Entheos will pay the Celebrant via our Social Enterprise model, whereby income generated via our Legal Wedding Services is used to fund our Baby Funeral and End of Life Wedding services. This is important, because it becomes difficult for Celebrants to really specialise in this area when they are not paid for their work, because they also need to generate income or risk

30 | FuneralTimes

burnout in the long-term. Through Lara’s Legacy, our Entheos Celebrants are paid for their time and expertise so they can continue to grow and thrive in this precious work.

Honoring Lara’s Memory Lara’s Legacy was established in memory of Karen’s goddaughter, Lara, who was born sleeping in February 2022*. Lara’s name, which stands for “Loved And Remembered Always,” inspired us to name this initiative after her. We know that every baby, child, and young person who passes away will be Loved And Remembered Always, and we want to support families in this. Our ceremonies are designed to capture this sentiment in a brief and beautiful manner. We understand that each family has their own words and preferences, and we will respect and accommodate them. *Her mother’s chosen words- we will use whatever words the family prefers.

Re-imagining Funeral Ceremonies Most people have no prior experience planning a funeral for a baby or child, and even experienced funeral directors can feel daunted by the prospect

of infant funerals. The death of one so young is difficult to process, no matter how many times we have been in the presence of such grief.

We understand that it’s essential for parents to feel heard and understood, ensuring that the ceremony honours their child in the best possible way for their family, and the Funeral Director needs to have confidence in the Celebrant they recommend for the family.

While families may not necessarily “need” a Celebrant, having an experienced guide who specialises in this area is invaluable. Our services are provided free of charge because we firmly believe that every family should have access to support and guidance during this difficult time.

Lara’s Legacy is funded via wedding ceremonies held by our Entheos Community Celebrants holding Legal wedding ceremonies throughout Ireland- because that’s what our community is for.

If you require a Celebrant for a baby, child or anyone under 18, please contact your local Entheos Celebrant, visit our Celebrant Directory on our website, www.entheos.ie or email us at info@entheos.ie and we will connect you with your local Entheos Celebrant.

There is no charge to the family for these services. Entheos will pay the Celebrant for each Lara’s Legacy ceremony held.

• Trade Embalming (straight & PM cases) • Mobile Service and Mortuary Facilities • Repatriation Embalming and Cadseal Services • Removals

Simon 07563 828660 • Dereck 07834 091005 • email : sgmarshall@hotmail.co.uk • web: Dereckmarshallandsons.co.uk Stangmore Park, 4a Far circular Road, Dungannon, Co. Tyrone BT71 6LW FuneralTimes | 31

Meet more NI Humanist Ceremonies celebrants!

Mary Lou McShane

M

Janni Knox

T

ary Lou became a celebrant after having been a facilitator and counsellor.

Much of her work prior to this was in helping others at times of difficulty or transition in the public and private sectors as well as self-employment.

She combines an understanding of loss with an ability to express succinctly the thoughts and feelings of others. In addition, she is experienced in public speaking. She likes that designing ceremonies allows her to meet people in their humanity and gets great satisfaction from assisting them to make the last farewell to a loved one personal and meaningful.

wenty years ago Janni attended a humanist funeral and was enchanted by the authenticity of the ceremony.

Now she is a full-time humanist celebrant living in Belfast with her husband and two dogs. A people person who loves good conversations, she finds it a real privilege working with families to create meaningful, personal funeral ceremonies.

Dealing with difficult or sensitive situations is no problem for Janni, with her background being in mediation, facilitation and training. She has a degree in Communication and Cultural Studies and a Masters in Mediation andfuneral Conflict Non-religious Intervention. ceremonies and memorial In her spare time you’ll often find Janni curled up with a book.

Meaningful andher memorable ceremonies She met husband working conservation and they Humanistin funerals and memorials areshare non-religious ceremonies which focus passions for died, wildlife cooking! on the person who has the and life they led, and the relationships they

Michael McAlinden

M

ichael (aka Micky) is very much a people person having worked in the voluntary and statutory youth service in Northern Ireland for the past 30 years.

Having worked with children and young people all his professional life, he always has a keen sense of service to the community so becoming a celebrant was a natural progression for him.

He trained in 2019 to become a humanist funeral celebrant following the death of a close friend who was non-religious but whose family were unaware that a non-religious funeral was an option.

From this point on funerals have become very important to Micky who notes that, while we need to mourn the loss of a loved one, we also need to remember and celebrate the wonderful life they have lived and the joy they brought to everyone who knew them.

He works with families to create a funeral ceremony that does just that.

Non-religious funeral and memorial ceremonies

forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique.

All our celebrants are trained and accredited by Humanists UK, have a DBS check and insurance

Meaningful and bespoke ceremonies

A humanistcover. funeralAs or memorial the quality perfect option part of isour assurance, there is regular peer review and a transparent complaints for families and friends who want a sincere, personal Humanist funerals and memorials Each funeral and memorial ceremony process for families and our professional partners. are non-religious ceremonies that is tailored to the person who has died, commemoration of their loved one, without religion.

Full contact details of all our celebrants beperson found onhas the inside front cover thispeople who love focuscan on the who died, and the wishesof of the

Each funeral and memorial ceremony is tailored the lifeclose they led, theatrelationships them. We can help commemorate the magazine or you can search toand you https://humanists.uk/ceremonies/ to the person who has died, and the wishes of for someone they forged. They are based on the person who has died with an upbeat humanist perspective that every life is celebration of life, instead of taking a the peoplefind-a-celebrant/funerals/ who love them, in the most fitting way valuable and unique. more solemn tone. possible. That may be an upbeat celebration of life or a ceremony with a more traditional tone.

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BIE News BIE News Ireland Division planned for our members.

I

hope everyone has enjoyed the summer and as the seasons turn and we find ourselves moving into the crisp, colourful embrace of autumn, it’s time to reflect on the year that’s passed

“Let’s keep pushing the boundaries of our expertise while staying grounded in the values that make us who we are.”

and look ahead to what lies before us. And what a year it has been! If there’s one thing we embalmers know, it’s how to adapt, and we’ve certainly had plenty of practice over the years.

This year, I found myself reflecting on a topic close to all our hearts: preservation.

But I’m not just talking about preserving peoples loved ones for their final journey.

I’m talking about preserving our connections—with each other, with the families we serve, and with the traditions that make our profession unique.

In a world that sometimes feels like it’s moving faster than we can keep up with, our role as preservers is more important than ever. We preserve the dignity of the deceased, yes, but we also preserve the bonds that hold communities together. Every time we prepare a loved one for their final rest, we’re not just preserving a body—we’re preserving stories, legacies, and the sense of continuity that gives life its meaning.

As we look ahead to the coming months, I’m excited about the initiatives we have

From continued professional opportunities and skills to social gatherings where we can share a pint and a story (or two), there’s much to look forward to in the coming year. Let’s keep pushing the boundaries of our expertise while staying grounded in the values that make us who we are.

We have our third and Final meeting coming up in October, the details are being finalised so keep an eye on those emails! Lets keep the spirit of our Division alive and spend the day with like minded people and gain some knowledge and a bit of craic!

On a final note, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you. Your dedication to this profession, to the families we serve, and to each other is what makes the Irish Division not just an organization, but a family. Here’s to another year of preserving memories, forging connections, and— above all—keeping our spirit alive and well.

BIE Irish Chairperson

Niamh Cusack

BIE News BIE News 36 | FuneralTimes

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2024/2025 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson & Divisional Liaison Officer: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford.

Tel: 086 3744762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com Vice Chairperson: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile 085 7671582 E.cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie Secretary & Public Relations Offcer: Jennifer Tighe MBIE St. Patrick Street, Boyle, Co. Roscommon Tel: 086 8854333 E: Jennytighe30@yahoo.com 1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie 2nd National Council Representative: Alan Kidd MBIE 15 Sraid Na Mara 1st Sea Road, Strandhill Road Sligo, Co. Sligo Mobile 087 6498623 E. alank1d@hotmail.com Treasurer and Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran MBIE 20 Cedarwood Park Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile 086 0619500 E.susan.moran@mortuary-science.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION NI Chairman: David Rice MBIE Milne Funeral Services 59 Seagoe Road, Portadown BT63 5HS Tel: 07811 109343 Email: contact@milnefuneralservices.co.uk NI Vice Chairman: Nicholas Gormley MBIE Unit 5, 3 Main Street, Maghera BT46 5AA Tel: 07761 500902 Email: support@gms-ni.com

NI Professional Standards Rep: Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk NI 1st Educational Committee Representative: Deborah McConnell MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@funeralpartners. com NATIONAL UK DIVISION

NI Secretary: Jamie Dempster MBIE S. Clarke & Son Funeral Directors 12 Court Square, Newtownards BT23 7NY Tel: 028 9181 2168 Email: jamie@sclarkeandson.co.uk NI Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals.com NI Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie MBIE 27 Navan Court Armagh Tel. 07523 477852 ciaranbailie@googlemail.com NI Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE NI 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com NI 2nd National Council Representative: Mrs Barbara Fowley, MBIE Killakee, Rockbrook Rathfarnham, Dublin 16 Telephone: 00353 (0)86 1911022 Email: barbarafowley@yahoo.ie

President: Mrs Rachel Shipley MBIE Imm. Past National President: Richard D. Van Nes MBIE 1st Vice National President: Edward Williams-Price MBIE 2nd Vice National President: Maria Stibbards MBIE National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Mobile: 07786 432014 E: ngs@bioe.co.uk National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Tel: 01525 860117 E: michaelliddle914@gmail.com Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk Master Fellow: Karen Caney FBIE Student Liaison Officer: Adrian Walters MBIE Tel: 01564 778991

FuneralTimes | 37

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.

Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.

We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

Wellness day for

Funeral Celebrants

Sunday 13th October Venue: Soearth Projects, Kill, Co. Kildare, Ireland W91 E4EB 11.30am - 4pm

A day of collaboration, meditation, voice work & somatic movements • Must be fully qualified FC to attend • Intimate group (only 15 participants) Meet up in local hotel Sat 12th October - Full info coming soon!

(Deposit required to book)

Full details / bookings contact Christina Breen CBcelebrant@gmail.com • Funeral Celebrant • Group Facilitator • Yoga & Somatic Movement Teacher

Drowning Cases and Frozen Bodies...Oh My! Here in Minnesota, we have four distinct seasons to enjoy. If you ask my wife, she will tell you that there are three seasons followed by several months of frozen...let’s say “unpleasantness,” because I probably shouldn’t write what she actually describes it as. By Lincoln Plain

E

ither way, the key to finding seasonal joy in the upper Midwest is to find something you like to do during those weather conditions that might not be normally considered ideal and make the best of it. I know that some of you will not be able to wrap your head around the fact that our weather in January and February can get as low as -35 degrees. Yes, you read that correctly, that is a minus sign in front of that number. And that is just the temperature. Add in the wind chill factor and it can easily reach -50 degrees. I don’t know if anyone actually “gets used to it,” but for many of us, we use the extreme cold temperatures as a sort of bragging rights while, wearing a snowmobile suit, we use our grills in the driveway.

Minnesota is known for many things but mostly for its 10,000 lakes. In the winter, you will find ice houses and snowmobiles galore.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with what an ice house is, it’s a portable house on wheels that gets dragged out onto the frozen lake by a truck and set up for a few months at the angler’s favorite fishing spot. These things are insane and many of them have sleeping bunks, fireplaces, kitchens, and bathrooms. I will give you a second to digest that. When summer hits, the lakes are filled with boaters and swimmers. After we bear the harshness of an upper Midwest winter, we cherish the beautiful summers that nature provides to us, every moment we can.

Unfortunately, in the winter, lake ice is never safe and people do fall through the ice and drown. In many cases the deceased is trapped under the ice until the lake thaws in the spring and the body will “pop-up” at some point and be discovered. For the purposes of this article, I

40 | FuneralTimes

Lincoln is the Dodge Representative for Minnesota and Eastern North Dakota. He is a licensed funeral director in Minnesota and stays active in the preparation room helping clients on a regular basis.

am going to cover both drownings in cold water (frozen bodies) and for those of you that will never come across this in your career as you live in warmer climates, I will also talk about warm water drowning.

Any time your funeral home takes a drowning call, you immediately know it is an unexpected tragedy and your heart goes out to the family and friends that are affected by the death.

As a funeral director or embalmer, drowning cases pose many challenges when the family is requesting an open casket viewing (if that’s even possible). Even bodies in the best of condition will carry certain “red flags” that you need to be mindful of while you care for the deceased.

Preventative actions in the beginning will go a long way to making your job easier, so make sure you take the necessary steps. Over the years, I have come across drowning victims that have been hit by boat propellers, wedged under fallen trees or docks, or bashed against rocks or bridges, and don’t forget the wildlife that might come into play. Typically, these conditions are “not the norm,” but they are all a real possibility.

Your post-embalming treatment will be just as important as your embalming.

Even if the deceased was found relatively quickly, you should still be mindful of the

chances of bacteria. Lake and river water are catalysts to many problematic bacteria like Clostridium, Coliform, E-coli, and Legionella, just to name a few. Most of these bacteria are naturally present in every body of water to some degree because of animal, bird, fish, or human feces that contaminate the water, or bacteria present on roads, yards, and fields that make their way by storm drains into the water. Many of these bacteria can make a person violently ill or in some cases even cause death. Water entering into the body also “washes” intestinal bacteria by translocation into areas where it is not normally present, such as the lungs. The point being, a drowning victim has been submerged in a plethora of different bacteria while in the water. In almost all of these cases, your medical examiner or coroner will have performed an autopsy. This is actually a benefit to you as the embalmer for a few reasons. Firstly, you will be able to inject extremities separately and with different solution strengths if needed. Also, when injecting up into the head, you can closely monitor any potential swelling. Secondly, by having the viscera completely removed, you can thoroughly treat the internal organs to assure that they are well preserved and dried, making it likely they will not be problematic down the road.

For purposes of categorizing this article a little bit, let’s talk about drowning cases first and then we will cover the frozen body embalming because many of the techniques and chemicals chosen will be similar.

If the deceased has only been in the water for a short period of time, chances are they will appear normal, and it could be a straightforward embalming...hopefully. If the cause of death is a drowning, you want to take a few steps to help your cause. After doing a pre-embalming analysis to see what visual challenges you might be facing, you will want to make sure that you thoroughly clean out the nasal airway along with the mouth and throat by liberally spraying a disinfectant like Dis-Spray and saturating those areas. Use a long straight forceps wrapped with Webril to clean those areas well and repeat if necessary. Spray the entire body with Dis-Spray to further disinfect the body and also help protect you against any bacteria. If the genitalia have any swelling, you can treat that area with Webril saturated with Penetrating Dryene during

the embalming process.

In your pre-embalming analysis, you should start to determine what chemicals would be best suited. Issues like edema, skin slip, lacerations, bloating “aka tissue gas,” estimated time submerged in the water before being found, and color of the skin (post-mortem stain present) should all be taken into consideration when choosing your chemical mixture. Many times, when a body has been in the water for extended periods, they will eventually float to the top where they are then found by search and rescue workers. Generally, what causes the body to “pop-up” is tissue gas formed because of the bacteria present in the water and once enough tissue gas is present in the body, it will float to the surface. As an embalmer, we already know that tissue gas, or clostridium perfringens, can be tricky to treat and stabilize during the embalming process and reducing the swelling caused by it is a process unto itself.

Edema is potentially another issue and for many embalmers it can be tough to tell the difference between edema and tissue gas.

In a drowning case, especially if the deceased has been submerged in water for a long period of time, edema is almost certain to be there.

By adding Edemaco into our pre-injection and chemical solution, we can help remove the excess water and thus reduce swelling in the process.

If the body has not had an autopsy, even though I would be surprised if one had not been performed because of the nature of death, a restricted cervical is the best approach.

Realistically in order to achieve thorough preservation, come to terms with the fact that this case will be a six-point or even eight-point injection. A restricted cervical will allow the embalmer the most control over the mixture and solution rate of your chemical injected into the head. I’m just going to be upfront and honest with you: in order to properly embalm a body in this condition, you are going to have a lot of empty bottles on your counter when you are done.

Postmortem stain is a good indicator that you have two things going on within the body. First, a breakdown or deterioration of the vascular system along with some level of decomposition starting. With a breakdown of the vascular system, you may find relying on FuneralTimes | 41

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arterial injection alone nearly impossible, so be of the mindset that you will be performing some post-embalming hypodermic injecting to achieve adequate preservation. Secondly, in most cases the blood will be very thick or viscous making circulation difficult and blockages all but guaranteed. In situations like this, I would suggest a pre-injection using Rectifiant, Proflow, Edemaco, and Halt GX with NO water added.

The Rectifiant will help dispel some of the color and help break down fibrous clots. The Proflow will lubricate the vessel walls and help loosen and further dissolve intervascular clots thus improving drainage. Edemaco will help to start removing the water out of the body, thus reducing swelling and secondary dilution, and the Halt GX will combat the clostridium and other bacteria present.

In a case where the vascular system is “sludged up,” inject what you can while keeping the vein closed, allowing the build-up of some vascular pressure, but keep a close eye on any swelling that may occur. If you have time on your side, allow the pre-injection chemical to sit for awhile before you start with your preservative injection.

This time will allow the above-mentioned chemicals to work to their maximum potential.

In conjunction with the starting of your preinjection, treat the viscera by perforating the large and small intestine with scissors and then add two to three bottles of Halt Cavity into the viscera bag and then seal the bag and set it off to the side for the duration of the preparation process. If the condition of the viscera has declined to the point that you already have a problem, I would suggest two to three bottles of PermaCav 50 and one to two bottles of Halt GX for this process.

When choosing the correct chemicals for a difficult embalming like this, it’s important to have some understanding as to what the different chemicals available are designed to do and how they excel in certain cases. I always make it a point to explain why I choose certain chemicals to use to help better explain their capabilities. For the preservative arterial injection, I would start with Rectifiant, Proflow, Edemaco, Halt GX, Introfiant OTC, and Regal with NO water added. I would recommend mixing smaller batches in your tank. It will help you prevent wasting chemicals that you may not end up using during your injection process and give you the 44 | FuneralTimes

flexibility to adjust your mixture on the fly if need be. Your mixture may vary a bit depending on the condition and size of the deceased.

Introfiant O TC works well on decomposition cases where the pH level of the body is quite low, and it also offers decent bleaching of darker stained tissue due to decomposition. With a 30 index, it fixates the tissue fast and will offer maximum preservation without needing to inject gallons of solution through the body.

Regal is a great complimentary chemical to the Introfiant O TC when minimal quantities of solution will be injected because of poor distribution. At a 30 index, it has the capability to preserve well, a humectant to help keep the skin pliable and offers an active dye so you will get some color staining of the tissue which will help create a more natural appearance. By using higher index chemicals, you are preserving the tissue using the least amount of chemical injected and by using an index of 30 or higher, the formaldehyde is active in killing Clostridium over time, so you get that added benefit along with the Halt GX in your mixture.

Waterless or a “no water added” embalming can be a bit unnerving to some people, especially if you have never done one before. The concerns of burning the tissue, searing capillary walls, or blisters forming from using that concentrated of a chemical are based on common myths.

Typically, the burning or “browning” of the skin is caused from dehydration from under-embalmed tissue and blisters are typically caused by edema that went untreated with a strong enough chemical to counteract the fluid buildup. Trust me when I say that you will have more issues with an under-embalmed body than you will ever have with a thoroughly embalmed one. The key is having the correct mixture of chemicals to work in harmony with each other to give you the best results.

Once you have completed your arterial injection, it is a good idea to hypodermically treat any areas in question for proper preservation. I typically like to use Introfiant OTC for this process. The firming is immediate and thorough and using a higher index chemical will also aid in any ongoing edema issues. Typical areas to pay close attention to are the shoulders and back of the neck, along the posterior part of the rib cage and back, the waist (aka “love handles”), and the gluteus maximus (the buttocks

area). These areas are prone to not getting sufficient distribution while injecting.

Upon completion of your hypodermic injection, if you feel comfortable that all areas of the body have received sufficient chemical to stabilize the tissue, it is important to follow up with the viscera treatment. When inspecting the viscera, they should have a grayish color to them and feel well preserved to the touch. I have always been a believer that the correct way to treat the viscera is by removing them from the bag and layering them back into the chest cavity. Using a combination of Viscerock FF and Action Powder will preserve and stabilize the viscera and the Action Powder will also help with odor control.

The added benefit to this process is that by not using the viscera bag or having air trapped in said bag, you will minimize any distention in the chest cavity and help give the deceased a more natural appearance and look less barrel chested. When suturing the “Y” incision, I like to use a large piece of plastic wrap tucked under the incision to help prevent any unwanted leakage or potential odor at the suture point.

At the conclusion of your embalming and postembalming treatments, it is a good idea to do another post-embalming inspection to address any issues such as skin slip, lacerations, abrasions, blisters, or soft under-embalmed skin by treating those areas with the appropriate process. For under-embalmed skin on the face and hands, using products like SynGel HV or Kaloform will help preserve the tissue and prevent any dehydration or skin slip down the road. SynGel HV is an osmotic embalming gel that works well for giving extra preservation to eyelids and lips when they are a bit soft without being as aggressive as a cavity pack would be. For those of you that have not used Kaloform before, this also works great for these scenarios. Kaloform is Kalon Cream that contains paraformaldehyde. It is easy to apply, will help keep tissue pliable and will not cause any wrinkles that can be prone to happen with the use of stronger chemicals.

For cases that were not autopsied, I would suggest leaving your carotid and femoral injection points open for the time being. In the unlikely event that you have tissue gas present, these open incisions will allow an area for the gas to escape temporarily. If you see any evidence of post-embalming swelling in the abdomen, neck, or eyes, or a frothy fluid

discharge out of the open incisions over the next 8-12 hours, then you will need to further treat the body. Re-aspirate the abdomen thoroughly and cavity inject two bottles of PermaCav 50 and a bottle of Halt GX. If you don’t have PermaCav 50 in your cabinet, then grab a couple bottles of Basic Dryene as its replacement. If you have not treated the brain yet, use a long 15-gauge needle with 60 cc’s of Basic Dryene entering through the cribriform plate (through the nose) and thoroughly saturate the brain. Continue to closely monitor the body for any further changes until it’s time to dress.

In cases where you have a person that has drowned in cold water or is frozen, believe it or not, there is some good news. The cold temperatures greatly reduce bacteria growth between the time of death and discovery of the body. So besides having a prolonged wait time to allow the body to thaw out before the medical examiner can perform an autopsy, odds are good that you won’t have too many added issues. That said, don’t let your guard down just yet.

So even though you potentially have minimal issues with bacteria growth on a frozen body, you will still want to do some preventative treatment by including Halt GX into your preinjection and injection process as mentioned earlier in this article. It’s always better to get ahead of the eight ball rather than behind it.

Frozen bodies do carry their own set of challenges, so even though the deceased may appear to look like a fairly normal case aside from some skin color changes, you can pretty much count on the circulatory system being nothing short of a train wreck. Extreme temperatures will cause crystallization in the arteries and veins which in turn can cause them to be brittle or collapse. Along with that comes the realization that those vessels that are still intact can easily burst under any amount of pressure caused by your injection process.

These short circuits in the vascular system will lead to poor distribution and swelling because the chemical solution will saturate tissue as it’s leaking outside the vascular system.

There are a few things that you can do that will give you a better chance of success going forward. If the body is still very cold to the touch, use your water table hose with lukewarm water and run it over the deceased to try and bring the temperature of the body up. If the FuneralTimes | 45

situation calls for it, where the body is still frozen or close to it, you may need to let the deceased sit for several hours or even overnight so the body will adjust to the ambient room temperature. Do not try and inject a semi-frozen body. You will cause more harm than good and surely decimate the vascular system in the process.

Once the deceased is “thawed out” to where you can proceed with your injection, if you are planning on using any amount of water in your solution mixture, use warm water, not hot, if possible. This will help raise the temperature of your solution in the tank, help thaw out any remaining blockages that may be caused by semi- frozen blood in the vascular system, and will accelerate the fixation of your formaldehyde solution to the proteins in the body. One of the tricky aspects of embalming a frozen body is that you may have a false sense of preservation to the touch. Many times, when embalming these types of cases, like a body that has been in a cooler for a long period of time, the texture of the skin can feel firm and preserved when indeed it is not. This is due in part to a couple of things. First and obviously, the body is cold and the second is that bodies left in refrigeration for long periods of time will become dehydrated.

Using an arterial chemical that has an active dye in conjunction with Introfiant OTC will help you to determine where you are getting color, thus getting distribution.

Be prepared to run into some obstacles. Brittle arteries can lead to blowouts and short circuits in the vascular system thus causing a need for multi-point injection spots. Something that will help minimize the chance of this is having the pressure on your machine set low with a rate of flow that is also low. As I have stated before, I prefer high pressure with low rate of flow for injection. However, that would not be the

approach I would take in this situation. The less stress of solution pressure you can put on the arteries and veins, the reduced chance you will have of causing a short circuit.

As stated earlier, the chemicals that I would suggest using for an embalming of this nature would be similar to, if not exactly, what I suggested above for the drowning case scenario.

If you have edema, make sure you add Edemaco.

Proflow has surfactants and will help increase distribution and break down clots. Use Halt GX to keep bacteria in check from the beginning, and Rectifiant to make sure your pH is maximized and help dispel discolorations. Introfiant O TC works great if you need to lighten up the skin color or if you prefer, Introfiant DC if you want less bleaching and also add a little color to the skin.

Regal will give you some skin color, and with the humectant added, it will maintain pliability of the skin and prevent potential dehydration.

Before we get started with the embalming or even see the deceased for the first time in the body pouch at the medical examiner’s office, we already know these types of cases are going to be challenging and test our skills.

Establishing what those challenges are and what is the best approach to overcome them will always put us in the best possible position to be successful. Taking an unexpected tragedy like a drowning case and being able to successfully offer closure to the families we serve with the possibility of a viewing will make you feel unstoppable and remind you why you chose this profession. When the family says to you, “We know this could not have been easy but thank you for making it happen,” it will be the best compliment you could possibly receive from a family, and it will drive you to be even better in the preparation room next time you’re called to embalm a difficult case.

If you would like to be added to the mailing list for the complementary Dodge Magazine which is printed quarterly or would like to discuss any of the products mentioned in this article, please contact us on the number below: Shepherds Funeral Supplies, Unit 2A Royal Canal Business Park, Athlone Road, Co. Longford. Ph. 00353 43 33 49702/ 00353 87 2486668

46 | FuneralTimes

Currie Repatriations - leading the way B

ased in Dungannon Co. Tyrone Currie Repatriation services was established over 16 years ago and has now become a household name throughout Ireland and the UK within many funeral companies. In addition to their service they have recently purchased a refrigerated private ambulance to ensure all human remains can be kept at mortuary temperatures throughout the journey.

Managed by husband and wife Gary and Ciara Currie they provide an efficient, trustworthy, and highly respected Repatriation service by Gary Currie with his new refrigerated private ambulance sea and road to Ireland and the UK. Currie Repatriation Services provide Ireland. Therefore should a deceased pass away on call support teams based in many parts in a nursing home or residence where mortuary of the UK who can assist at short notice facilities are unavailable, Currie Repatriation can bringing loved ones into the care of nearby take care of it all 24/7 365 days of the year. funeral premises until they have the required For more information, please contact Gary paperwork completed before Repatriation to on 07789 134798 or Ciara on 07955 012909.

Currie Repatriation

Dungannon, Co. Tyrone

• Daily service operates to/from England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales • Mortuary collections nationwide • All vehicles fully insured • Quotations available on request For further information contact Gary T:07789 134798 or Ciara T:07955 012909 48 | FuneralTimes

Ballyfinane, Firies, Killarney, Co. Kerry Tel: +353 87 269 0044 sales@coachbuilders.ie

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Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of over 1,500 funeral homes.

SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you.

As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment.

For over 30 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726777

Saif News Saif News NFE 2024 SAIF attended the National Funeral Exhibition on the 13 - 15 June 2024 at Stoneleigh Park.

T

hroughout the weekend our stand was continuously busy with the opportunity to meet both existing and new members and associates, either to find our information on joining us or with general queries surrounding the profession. It was lovely to catch up with colleagues, existing members and potential applicants. The dates were a change this year moving Thursday to Saturday and reflecting on 2022, the visitors to our stand certainly had increased on both the Friday and Saturday.

Along with SAIF’s National President Declan Maguire, Chief Executive Terry Tennens F.SAIF, members of the Executive Committee, Fellows and Past Presidents we were also accompanied on our stand by Brian Hart, Nina Nicholls, Ann Iannuzzi and Leanda Mulock from SAIFInsure

who were on hand to answer questions.

SAIFInsure were delighted to share the stand with SAIF once again and secured a large number of enquiries for their services.

In addition, they were offering a cash prize for anyone able to unlock their “SafeCracker” which unfortunately wasn’t opened. They did, however, make a draw for 2 lucky winners of £1,250 of travel vouchers. The lucky winners were Eliza Burgess from J J Burgess & Sons and Sally Frangiamore from Churchills Family Funeral Directors.”

On behalf of SAIF, we would like to thank you to all who took time to visit the SAIF stand, for the positive feedback and wonderful comments.

FuneralTimes | 51

OBITUARY

Patrick Gallagher MBIE F.SAIF, 1947 - 2024

O

n Saturday 29th June 2024 at Holy Trinity Church, Cuckfield, Sussex over 300 mourners gathered to remember the influential life of Pat Gallagher.

The Church was full, and included an overspill of mourners who watched a live stream in the community hall. Pat’s life has impacted so many for good over the years from his native Loughborough to Cuckfield. Pat was born on the 31st of July 1947.

It was a very hot day, and he was a distinctive looking baby at Loughborough Hospital with a shock of bright red hair. He was the youngest of the family with two older sisters, Sheila and Ann, and a brother Ken. Pat’s parents were extremely hospitable and had an open house, so it was full most Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays with crowds of girls and lads from the camp. On Sunday morning, Pat’s father would count the heads to see how many were there for breakfast. The squaddies reciprocated by bringing gifts of

52 | FuneralTimes

food purloined from the camp, while some helped out painting and digging the garden. Life was noisy, full of music and fun. He started his working life in 1963 with Tom Robinson, who taught him much of the Funeral trade including coffin making and embalming, and he was with him until 1970, having married Sandy in 1966.

He then moved to Richmond to work for T.H. Saunders and he and Sandy blossomed in this environment, where the world opened up to them from life in Loughborough. He qualified as a funeral director and Matthew was born in 1973.

They were there for four years before moving to Lewes to work for Trevor Bennett, where Pat qualified as an embalmer.

His final move was to Cuckfield in 1978, which became their spiritual home. He worked for J & R Mathews until he opened the business in 1992 in Haywards Heath and the rest is history. From one office, they grew to four with Paul Bowley joining at Hassocks a few years later, followed by branches in Burgess Hill and Brighton.

He and Sandy had a house in Portugal for 11 years where they had many visitors and some wonderful times. He loved sport, football in particular, and played golf and was a season ticket holder at Leeds United

FC. Pat’s business was based on hard work and a first class, professional service. The answer always being yes, whatever the request. He was involved in his community, organising events: concerts, golf days, performing; in fact, whatever he could do to help others. In 1992 he joined SAIF, the National Society of Allied and Independent Funeral Directors, a society whose aim was to protect the existence of British independent funeral directors, and Pat was good at that. He stuck up for the ‘little man’, righting wrongs.

He joined the SAIF National Executive, and he was Chairman of the Education Committee, which went on to form the Independent Funeral Directors’ (IFD) College. In fact, he served on just about every committee, his ideas and high standards shared with many, forging the way for new members.

In 2009 he served a year as National President of SAIF. Pat was also National President of the British Institute of Funeral Directors (BIFD).

Pat encouraged and supported Paul Bowley, when he was National President of SAIF in 2017, and, of course, he also encouraged Matthew, his son, to serve on the SAIFCharter Executive and used his educational skills and knowledge as Governor of the

IFD College. Having imparted all this knowledge and help in so many ways, in 2022, Pat was awarded the highest honour SAIF can bestow, a SAIF Fellowship, in recognition of his dedicated service to the funeral procession.

Whoever met Pat could not help but be endeared to his generous character, warm personality and

humour. Pat related to people no matter their status or background.

A person who encouraged, listened and challenged. A man of deep family values, despite being a Leeds United Football Club fan all his days.

Gary Neill, Fellow of SAIF, in his tribute recalled Pat, Sandy and Matthew’s thoughts, to life

being like a train journey. The train makes many stops during a lifetime and during that time people get on and off the train. This reflection left the congregation giving thanks for the times spent whether as a colleague, golfer, or friend, our gratitude to have shared in Pat’s journey.

There is a train at the station, with a seat reserved just for me I’m excited about its destination, as I’ve heard it sets you free.

The trials and tribulations, the pain and stress we breathe Don’t exist where I am going, only happiness I believe.

I hope that you will be there, to wish me on my way It’s not a journey you can join in, it’s not your time today There’ll be many destinations, some are happy, some are sad Each one a brief reminder, of the great times that we’ve had Many loved ones I know are waiting, who took an earlier train.

To greet and reassure me, that nothing has really changed We’ll take the time together, to catch up on the past To build a new beginning, one that will always last One day you’ll take your journey, on the train just like me.

And I promise that I’ll be there, at the station and you will see That life is just a journey, enriched by those you meet No-one can take that from you, it’s always yours to keep But now as no seat is vacant, you will have to muddle through.

Make sure you fulfil your ambitions, as you know I’ll be watching you And if there’s an occasion, to mention who you knew.

Speak kindly of that person, as one day it will be you Now I can’t except this ending, and as it’s time for me to leave.

Please make haste to the reception, to enjoy the drinks, on me!

FuneralTimes | 53

Pat, Sandy and Matthew

Pat wanted his business to remain independent and has arranged for Sue and the team, to carry on his and Sandy’s legacy.

And so, Gary Neill gave them our pledge, on behalf of all his funeral family at SAIF, that if needed, we will help support the team in any way we can.

And I’m sure that everyone in the community will continue to support P & S Gallagher, Independent Family Funeral Directors.

Pat was one of the best, and his legacy will be honoured and respected and will live on.

SAIF National Education Day 2024 T he SAIF Business Centre are busy preparing for our National Education Day, which is being held once again at The Marriott Hotel in Leicester on Saturday 5th October 2024.

It promises to be an informative event with sessions covering a wide range of topics to support and help your business thrive.

James Morris from William Purves will be providing his insight on how his company has built a partnership with a new crematorium, as well as other aspects of partnering for the future of the independent sector.

We are excited to have Mairi Mickel;, family business expert & visiting Professor who will provide advice and guidance

on how to future proof your family business.

Following along the lines of business relations, Karen Trickett from Mighty Atoms will be providing advice on addressing your business strategy and the effect in a competitive environment.

Two of our esteemed Past Presidents Helen Wathall and Jo Parker will be launching a new incentive ‘SAIF Women in Business’ with Nicola Jarmaine presenting certificates to those students who have studied with the IFD College.

We will also be show casing the new SAIF website and a new SAIF Wellbeing Initiative.

We are also pleased to have experts from our associated funeral plan companies who will be there to provide

an update and to ask any questions.

Not to mention presentations from our sponsors Golden Charter, SAIFInsure, Westerleigh and Obitus and the opportunity to meet some of our other associates who will be exhibiting during the refreshment breaks and lunch.

For those who do not need to rush home, there will be the opportunity to continue the stimulating conversation with a dinner in the evening.

So, if you are looking to update your CPD, catching up with colleagues then please visit the events page on the SAIF website to book your place https://saif.org.uk/ events/national-educationday-2024-5th-october-atleicester/

If you would like more information about joining SAIF and being able to access benefits including Professional Indemnity Insurance, please don’t hesitate to contact the SAIF Business Centre; we are only a phone call away and will be happy to help.

Tel: 0345 230 6777 or visit SAIF.org.uk 54 | FuneralTimes

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Ramblings from the Cleaner...

I cannot believe the summer is over already, it’s been an incredibly busy year, with lots of new things going on. My daughter is starting her second year of college and my son has moved to the south of England. But fear not, I am not an empty nester, I am a bird launcher!

56 | FuneralTimes

I

’ve had lots to keep me occupied alongside my work, including slowly and painfully trying to renovate my house, looking after my granny who turned 80 in June and becoming an auntie.

I wrote a small article for the Garda review, which lead to being contacted by a journalist from the Irish Examiner, who then did a full feature on my business, following that the folks at RTE1 had me on the Oliver Callan show in July but it has not stopped there, I’ll be on Newstalk in the next few weeks. I will be answering questions from the public and hope to break down the barriers surrounding death and hoarding disorders to let people know there is help out there at anytime.

In Ireland, north and south, the demand for death cleaning services has grown as awareness of the need for professional trauma cleaning increases. The rise in solitary living and aging populations means that unattended deaths are, unfortunately, becoming more common. As a result, after

death cleaning plays an increasingly important role in ensuring that homes and public spaces are safe and sanitised after such events.

Being a death cleaner is not a job for everyone, but for me it offers the opportunity to provide a crucial and compassionate service. It’s a role that combines technical expertise with emotional strength, and I feel it is integral to helping communities heal in the aftermath of loss.

Please do not hesitate to reach out or pass on my details to your clients.

“When a loved one passes away, the emotional burden can feel overwhelming.

For many, the thought of sorting through personal belongings or addressing a home that has fallen into disrepair only adds to the stress. As a death cleaner and hoarding disorder specialist, my mission is to help families navigate these difficult moments with compassion and professionalism, ensuring that spaces are respectfully restored and memories are preserved.”

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Discreetly and respectfully we clean up all manner of incidents. specialistcleaningni.com | info@specialistcleaningni.com Tel: 07522 921299

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FuneralTimes | 57 28/09/2023 09:54

This Is Your Life - By Ian Fee -

Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

W

eddings and Funerals. How often we talk about how these are the two most frequent times when most families meet up, coming in from different parts of the country or from around the world to be there for an important event of celebration or remembrance. The main difference of course is that wedding invitations go out weeks ahead of the event, giving everyone time to plan, to get ready, while the event itself may have already been in the planning for months, if not years.

With the funeral, it’s very different. Rushed phone calls are made, messages are sent to share the sad news and the whole event is planned and carried out in a few short days.

At least, that’s how it usually is here in Ireland.

When visitors come from England or other countries, they often comment on the swiftness with which the whole thing happens, some even voicing their bemusement, even incredulity at the haste with which it’s all carried out. It’s true that for such an important, even life changing event, it all happens in something of a blur and for the most part, it sticks to a very tried and tested formula. The family are carried along by societal expectations that rarely get questioned.

We are so accustomed to the three-day funeral that it really doesn’t allow much in terms of diversification or personalisation in the service, be it a church service or a gathering in a funeral home or other venue. If you were asked to plan a deeply personal and unique wedding in three days, it might seem impossible but the expectation is that, in three days, a suitable and acceptable funeral can be planned and carried out. Perhaps this offers an opportunity, when needed, to be more imaginative when sitting down to plan a funeral. We all encounter families and individuals whose approach to

life and death is somewhat non-traditional and we do our best to accommodate their ideas and wishes, but maybe we, as the funeral professionals, should be offering them more of a choice. It’s certainly true as a funeral celebrant that I get asked more often than ever to arrange funeral services, memorials, etc., in places other than those we’d usually think of. The family home, a local hotel, even their usual pub have all been used as venues in which to gather and remember, to celebrate the life of the one who has died. One service I celebrated took place in three parts, in three different venues, going from an intimate family gathering, to a slightly larger one for the wider family and friends before moving on to a public memorial in a large venue where all were welcomed. All of this took place within a few hours on the same day, but it was such a unique way of saying farewell to their loved one and celebrating their memory.

One thing the restrictions we suffered under during the covid pandemic did for us was to show that our funeral traditions are not set in stone and although the harsh restrictions imposed upon us then were very difficult for those who had a loved one’s funeral during that time, being robbed of so much of the comforting reassurance of our traditions, it may now serve to show us that we can think outside the box (no pun intended!) when it comes to planning our end of life ritual. With the imagination of the individual themselves or their next of kin, the guidance of a skilled celebrant and the cooperation of an understanding funeral director, funerals can be so much more than what we’re used to, something that reflects not only the life we’re remembering, but also our empathy for those who have been asked to set out on a new, uncertain and difficult road.

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Lakelands Crematorium, Dublin Rd, Cavan, Co. Cavan Tel: 049 4362200 / Mob: 086 2458489 Email: info@LakelandsCrematorium.ie www.LakelandsCrematorium.ie

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Daily Collections from Dublin Hospitals, Nursing Homes etc. (deceased can be then collected from our premises or delivered to your Funeral Home)

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NAFD Member Benefits

Category A Funeral firms in England, Wales, Northern Ireland, Scotland, the Isle of Man and the Channel Islands Category B UK Supplier * Benefits for Category A members only

Business Advice & Support

Financial

• • • • • • • • • • • • •

• • • • • • • • •

Client Will search facility * Repatriation Helpline * Interflora membership package * Stationery solutions NAFD Energy Club NAFD Telecoms NAFD Legal Advisory Service Counselling helpline for staff/family Property Planning Advice Health & Safety advice PR Handbook and PR Helpline Merchant card services NAFD Fast Track Debt Recovery Service

Knowledge Sharing • • • •

Networking opportunities through Area Federation and Local Association meetings Conference and Autumn General Meeting Member website Attendance at National Funeral Exhibition (discount on stand space if exhibiting)

Fleet breakdown cover * Fleet insurance * Perfect Choice Funeral Plans * £5m professional indemnity insurance * £150k employment claims insurance £150k H&S prosecution insurance £150k HMRC & VAT investigation insurance Personal/commercial insurance discounts Royal Mail Same Day Service

Communication/Representation • • • • • • •

Parliamentary campaigning Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly Monthly e-newsletter NAFD social media Regular e-communication updates on important issues affecting your business

Professional Credibility

Professional Development

•

• •

• • •

Code of Practice and client dispute resolution service, NAFD Resolve * Listing on funeral-directory.co.uk * Listing on supplier member search on NAFD website Use of logos and marketing collateral

NAFD qualifications Election to NAFD boards/committees

General •

Volvo schemes offering preferential rates *

•

Discounted advertising in Funeral Director Monthly

•

Use of NAFD overseas member logo

•

Invitation to attend the NAFD Conference and Annual General Meeting.

Category C Benefits • • Category C Overseas

• •

Discount on stand space if exhibiting at the biennial National Funeral Exhibition A listing in the overseas member search on the Association’s website Monthly copy of Funeral Director Monthly Free editorial in Funeral Director Monthly

For more information on membership of the NAFD please call: 0121 711 1343 or email: su@nafd.org.uk  National Association of Funeral Directors  @NAFD_UK @NAFDUK

NAFD News...

Vibrant NFE 2024 delivers information, education and opportunity in equal measure

O

ver three days in June, the funeral sector came together to learn, be inspired and spend time together in a vibrant and future focused environment as the 2024 National Funeral Exhibition opened its doors at Stoneleigh Park in Warwickshire.

For the first time in its long history, the show offered two weekday open days as well as a Saturday, for those visitors unable to step away from work during the week.

Feedback from exhibitors and visitors alike was that this change of open days worked well – as it provided two focused days with business decision makers, which resulted in meaningful dialogue, connections and opportunities, followed by a busy Saturday with family businesses, groups of colleagues and smaller business owners packing the two halls. All told, more than 4,500 people walked through the doors of Stoneleigh for NFE 2024, making it one of the NAFD’s most successful shows ever!

Kate Edwards, who led the organisation of the event, said: “I was thrilled and delighted to have had the opportunity to oversee the remarkable National Funeral Exhibition. I’m very grateful to my NFE Committee colleagues, Matthew Hall of MazWell Group, Simon Oakes of Lyn Oakes, Marian Sinclair of Motorcycle Funerals, Alun Tucker of the Funeral Suppliers Association and 62 | FuneralTimes

Andrew Pargetter of A. Pargetter & Son for their time and expertise.

“The NAFD stand was bustling with activity, and I extend my thanks to the NAFD team and dedicated volunteers, including our President, Officers, and members of our National Executive who alongside our committed and hard working NAFD team, fielded countless queries from members, potential members, students, graduates, visitors... the list is endless!

Thank you all and on to 2026!”

Date for diaries: NFE 2026 will be held on Thursday 11 – Saturday 13 June 2026 at Stoneleigh Park. Exhibitors can book their space now by emailing exhibition@nafd.org.uk.

NAFD News...

NAFD warns bereaved people about scams on BBC Breakfast I

n July, the NAFD worked with BBC Breakfast to highlight the issue of scammers posting links to fraudulent funeral service live streams on social media. NAFD member Edd Frost, of Edd Frost & Daughters in Oxfordshire supported the story with an interview and by introducing one of his affected client families to the BBC. The story highlighted NAFD advice which is also being shared on social media.

The NAFD has spent a lot of time engaging with a number of media outlets to try and raise

awareness of the scams, giving interviews and offering statements to variety of outlets, in addition to BBC Breakfast, including BBC News, ITV News, Radio 4 Money Box, Look North, Daily Mail, Daily Record and Belfast Telegraph.

We have conducted broadcast and print interviews and also issued statements to the press.

The NAFD has also created a social media graphic which has been sent to members for their own use.

The NAFD offers the following advice to funeral directors • We recommend that you make client families aware of these scams, particularly if they are posting any information online about funeral arrangements.

• You could suggest to clients that they advise friends and relatives that any livestream link or fundraising page details will be provided directly by them or by the funeral director – they should check

whether any link they do come across is legitimate before engaging with it.

• You may wish to put some general information on your website or social media pages too.

• You can report a Facebook page or link to Meta – in our experience they do not respond, but is the volume of complaints is large enough it may force them to act.

FuneralTimes | 63

NAFD News...

Members rush to learn without limits through NAFD Inspire N

AFD Inspire, the Association’s new Continuous Professional Development (CPD) learning platform, attracted a lot of attention at the National Funeral Exhibition, with a significant number of NAFD funeral home and supplier members expressing serious intent.

Not only were members of all sizes signing up to give their staff access to its range of learning modules - which are designed to be delivered in bitesize chunks, tailored to the needs of the individual learner – quite a few were keen to upgrade to either Inspire Plus or Inspire Pro – which offer firms the opportunity to have tailored content, relevant to their own business needs and a businessbranded portal – enabling member

firms to essentially create their own bespoke professional development platform at fraction of the cost of going it alone.

NAFD Chair of the Board of Education, Alison Crake, said: “The incredible response to NAFD Inspire has shown that our members are ready and eager to engage with next level learning and development for the funeral sector. By designing and developing adaptable learning platforms, we have been able to showcase our commitment to ensuring that every one of our members, irrespective of the size of their business, has access to online learning and CPD.” The technology and philosophy underpinning NAFD Inspire is already proven in other funeral sector markets around the world,

with NAFD Inspire based on a successful model already in operation in both Australia and New Zealand. After each course is completed, with some taking as little as 15-20 minutes to work through, a certificate of completion can be downloaded, adding valuable CPD points to the learning profile of each user.

In addition of the NAFD Inspire platform, members in Scotland are set to be the first group to benefit from an Artificial Intelligence powered app which can answer any question about the content of the new Scottish Government Statutory Code for Funeral Directors. The app will provide bite-size information via your smartphone – ideal for funeral service employees looking for timely access to essential information. Jim

Supporting members in getting ready for regulation in Scotland

T

he NAFD in Scotland continues to support members with the upcoming introduction of the Scottish Government Funeral Director Code.

It’s programme of activity is called “Getting Ready for Regulation” and includes a series of video podcasts going through the Code point by point, and discussing relevant topics regards what funeral directors might want to be aware of, to support members with their knowledge and understanding of

64 | FuneralTimes

the Code and monthly briefings to NAFD Scotland members to help engage them with key updates, with each briefing containing updates regarding the Statutory Code, along with other news.

Into the Autumn, on 18 September, the NAFD will host a webinar for all Scotland members to discuss the Code. There will also be a Scotland Code of Practice edition of FDM, prior to Christmas, featuring everything members need to know about the Code.

NAFD News...

Brodie, of Brodies Funeral Services in West Lothian, Scotland, said: “Inspire is concise, easy-to-use and, I would argue, invaluable. No matter how long you’ve been in funeral service, there is always more you can learn and, at a time when members in Scotland are preparing for the introduction of the statutory Code, it gives members all the tools they need to ensure they and their staff fully understand the Code and its expectations. It also puts the onus on the individual to own their professional development and helps us to move from a culture of training being seen as something they have to do, towards a learning culture where people want to develop their skills and knowledge.

For me, Inspire dovetails with what the Scottish Government will expect of us as we move towards licensing and regulation – and enables funeral directors and their teams to learn in confidence in a fitting manner.”

NAFD members should contact education@nafd.org.uk to discuss their individual needs, or visit www. nafdinspire.co.uk to find out more.

NAFD to host final preparation webinar on statutory implementation of Medical Examiner service in England and Wales

One–day mortuary management training workshops for members

T

he NAFD’s one-day training workshops to support funeral professionals in achieving excellence in mortuary management and the care of deceased people in partnership with NHS North Tees and Hartlepool, offer targeted programmes for both FSOs, drivers and bearers and for funeral directors, mortuary managers and supervisors.

Delivered online over six hours, the quality and compliance training has been designed to embed the Funeral Director Code into daily routines by working with the quality managed processes. There are two versions of each workshop available for funeral professionals in England Wales and Northern Ireland, or in Scotland.

Delivered by an experienced NHS pathologist trainer and an experienced NAFD funeral training professional, the training consists of a series of presentations, discussions, and activities – tailored to the different job roles - on areas such as infection control and PPE, evidencing mortuary practice, confidentiality and traceability, compliance with the Funeral Director Code, working to quality managed processes and procedures, mortuary record keeping and QMS Continuous Improvement.

Assessment takes place throughout the training. Delegates receive a Certificate of Training worth six CPD points upon completion of the workshop. To find out more, visit: www.nafdeducation.org.uk

I

n early September, the NAFD is hosting a final preparation webinar for members, ahead of statutory implementation of the Medical Examiner service in England and Wales on 9 September.

The webinar, which is designed to try and address the remaining questions about the changes, follows on from one held earlier in the year with the National Medical Examiner Dr Alan Fletcher and a series of briefing emails and guidance articles, designed to support funeral firms in understanding the new regulations and processes.

The NAFD has worked closely with the Ministry of Justice on the development of the Statutory Medical Examiner scheme for some time - and fed back extensive comments on the draft regulations and the accompanying guidance. Along with other sector colleagues, we had repeatedly advised government that a six-month lead in time would be necessary to ensure that the sector is fully prepared for the changes, which was not forthcoming, as the announcement about the statutory implementation date, in April, has left barely four and a half months for the funeral sector to prepare for the changes.

FuneralTimes | 65

NAFD News...

NAFD holds webinars to help members prepare for local authority visits In June, the NAFD held member webinars to provide support to firms across England as local authorities began the nationwide programme of visits to funeral homes requested by the Government.

The visits are a direct response to the police investigation into Legacy Independent Funeral Directors in Hull and the aim is to ensure the public can continue to feel confident about the service provided by their local funeral director and is not part of any discussions about the longer-term regulation of the funeral sector. There is no agreed process for how these visits will be arranged. The previous Government asked for them to be carried out but has left the implementation to each local authority and has no powers to enforce councils to undertake the visits in a particular way. Experience thus far is that councils have been very open to advice and support as they recognise that inspecting funeral homes is outside their area of experience.

The NAFD and SAIF have used their combined experience to advise on a format for the visits and recruited volunteer FDs to support council Environmental Health Officers in preparing for the visits and remain on hand to answer any questions.

Given that the visits are designed to reassure the public following the launch of a police investigation into Legacy Independent Funeral Directors in Hull and East Riding, the key themes reflect issues that have resulted from this investigation: care of deceased people, record keeping, cremated remains and funeral plans.

1 Hygiene, facility conditions, and capability 2 Traceability and transparency 3 Dignity and condition of deceased people in a funeral director’s care 4 Pre-paid funeral plans.

Rachel Bradburne, NAFD Director of External Affairs, said: “It is great to see funeral homes welcoming this opportunity to show their high standards of care.”

NAFD Futures project seeks to provide targeted support for emerging leaders “What comes next after the Dip.FD?” is a question often asked of the Board of Education by NAFD graduates keen to maintain their professional development as their careers progress.

Alongside the bite-size learning opportunities now offered by NAFD Inspire, the Board of Education is developing a framework for a leadership and management programme for funeral professionals, as part of a wider NAFD Futures project designed to provide targeted support for emerging leaders within the profession.

Networking will also play a key part in the NAFD Futures project, alongside providing access to high quality thought leadership articles, podcasts and events to stimulate mindset growth and support 66 | FuneralTimes

business development. There are plans for a range of events which enable members to network with likeminded funeral professionals not just in their geographic area, but those at a similar stage of their career, or area of special interest.

To spearhead the Futures project, the first of a series of round tables was held at the National Funeral Exhibition, offering insightful feedback into what this programme will need to include for it to be considered truly valuable for the next generation of business owners and leaders in the sector. Discussions included exploring the kind of leadership and management qualities members would like to develop further and the very different challenges that members can face when building a career in funeral service.

FuneralTimes | 67

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WHO FEARS TO SPEAK OF ‘98 AND ANTIQUE COFFINS W

icklow played an active roll in the 1798 Insurrection.The Irish Rebellion of 1798 which was an insurrection against the British Crown.

The main organising force was the Society of United Irishmen,first formed in Belfast by Presbyterians.

One day at a funeral in Templeboden a historian, looking at the weathered tombstones said, “I’d say there are ‘98 men buried here.” My old neighbour Jimmy added, “Begob there is, or there could be more than a hundred in it!”

WHAT A WAY TO GO

A

famous heart specialist doctor in Dublin died and everyone was gathered at his funeral in Mount Jerome Crematorium. A regular coffin was displayed in front of a huge heart. When the minister finished with the sermon and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart was opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed.

Just at that moment one of the mourners started laughing. The fellow next to him asked: “Why are you laughing?”

“I was thinking about my own funeral,” the man replied.

“What’s so funny about that?”

“I’m a gynaecologist.”

I always liked living in the past, it’s cheaper. Consequently I love museums.

I was in a sex museum in Amsterdam and I had just left Prague when I discovered that there is a Museum of Instruments of torture there. (A musician friend of mine claims that the Bodhrán should be in it!).

Imagine my delight when I found that there is a coffin museum on the edge of the Jewellery Quarter in Birmingham.

It’s owned and run by Newman Brothers Coffin Works and is situated at 13-15 Fleet Street, Birmingham B3.

A very nice young lady there called Emma told me, “The Coffin Works is an award winning museum in the Jewellery Quarter, Birmingham. The shelves and workbenches at Newman Brothers are full of original stock and tools of the trade. With the original machinery working again, you can truly experience how this old Jewellery Quarter firm once operated on a day to day basis, producing some of the world’s finest coffin furniture, including the fittings for the funerals of Winston Churchill, Princess Diana and the Queen Mother.”

The Newman family have been making coffins since 1882 so if you are in Birmingham be sure to call in!

FuneralTimes | 69

Jennifer Muldowney is an International event planner for memorials based in the United States of America. Known as The Glam Reaper, Jennifer blends her extensive education in business, communications, and bereavement with a passion for modern memorial planning. As an award-winning memorial planner and speaker, she has made a significant international impact in the funeral space, advocating for personalised, and environmentally conscious funerals and digital legacies. Check out her Tedx Talk ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’ or Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.

By Jennifer Muldowney

Grief in Pop Culture G

rief, a profound and universal human experience, has long permeated pop culture, reflecting and shaping societal attitudes towards loss and mourning.

Literature and Film In literature, classic and contemporary works alike explore the depths of grief, often portraying characters’ journeys through sorrow and acceptance. From Shakespeare’s Hamlet to Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking, the written word captures the intimate and often isolating nature of loss. Similarly, films such as Manchester by the Sea and Coco provide visual and emotional narratives that resonate with viewers, depicting both the paralyzing pain of grief and the possibility of healing over time.

And speaking of Disney films which are often seen as a source of childhood wonder, they also grapple with themes of grief, making them accessible to audiences of all ages. The death of Mufasa in The Lion King leaves a lasting impact on Simba, shaping

his journey from guilt to redemption. In Frozen, Elsa and Anna’s struggle with the loss of their parents subtly addresses the lingering effects of grief on their lives and relationships. Disney’s ability to weave grief into their narratives allows young viewers to engage with these difficult emotions, often providing a gentle introduction to the concept of loss.

Music Music has always historically served as a powerful conduit for expressing grief. Artists across genres have penned songs that delve into personal loss, creating anthems of mourning and remembrance. Tracks like Eric Clapton’s “Tears in Heaven” and Adele’s “Someone Like You” offer listeners a shared space to process their emotions, often becoming integral parts of the collective grieving process.

Taylor Swift, one of the most influential voices in contemporary music, frequently explores themes of loss and grief in her songwriting. In tracks like “Ronan,” inspired by the story of a young boy who passed away from cancer, Swift captures the raw and heartbreaking nature of grief. “My Tears Ricochet,” another poignant example, delves into the aftermath of betrayal and loss, using powerful imagery to convey the lingering pain of unresolved grief. Swift’s music resonates with listeners by articulating the complex emotions tied to loss, creating a shared experience that offers both comfort and understanding.

FuneralTimes | 71

Television Series such as Six Feet Under and This Is Us weave themes of loss into their narratives, portraying how characters navigate their grief over time.

These shows often highlight the complexity of mourning, showcasing the interplay of humor, anger, and eventual acceptance. Six Feat Under helped ‘unveil’ the funeral world in many ways aside from grief and we need more of this.

Digital Media In recent years, video games and digital media have also begun to tackle the theme of grief.

Titles like That Dragon, Cancer and The Last of Us offer interactive experiences that immerse players in narratives of loss, challenging them

to confront and understand grief in a deeply personal way.

Grief in pop culture not only mirrors societal attitudes but also influences them. The portrayal of grief in media can destigmatize mourning, encouraging open conversations about loss and mental health. Pop culture serves as a mirror, reflecting unique ways individuals experience and cope with grief, while also shaping community understanding and empathy. These portrayals offer comfort and connection, helping individuals navigate their own journeys through loss while fostering a broader cultural acceptance of the grieving process.

How can we use Pop Culture to help our own communities grieve and be ok with others grieving?

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FuneralTimes | 73

Beauty with purpose A

s a renal nurse, a Miss World Finalist, and an Ambassador for the Northern Ireland Kidney Research Fund (NIKRF), Hannah Johns has the unique opportunity to raise awareness of kidney disease on a global platform.

Awareness and Detection: Many people with CKD are unaware of their condition until it is advanced because earlystage CKD is often asymptomatic. Early detection through regular screening is crucial for management and prevention of progression.

Global Disparities: There are significant disparities in the diagnosis, treatment, and outcomes of kidney disease across different regions and populations, with lower-income countries facing greater challenges in access to care and treatment.

Education: Educating the public about kidney disease helps raise awareness about its prevalence, risk factors, and symptoms, which is essential for early detection and prevention. By championing kidney education, Hannah can make a significant impact on public health and contribute to the fight against kidney disease.

Preventive Measures: Lifestyle modifications, such as maintaining a healthy diet, regular exercise, controlling blood

sugar and blood pressure, and avoiding smoking, can significantly reduce the risk of developing kidney disease.

Awareness - Prevention Equitable access to Treatment

Research: ‘Without Research there is no progress and without progress there is no Cure’ (Quote by NIKRF) Fundraising: This will enable Hannah to generate the necessary funds to support her chosen charity in helping to achieve these goals.

Working with Peer Groups: With Hannah’s help, we can encourage younger members to volunteer with the charity, paving the way for the next generation.

Global Facts on Kidney Disease Prevalence: Chronic kidney disease (CKD) affects over 10% (1in10) of the global population, with millions of people requiring treatment for end-stage renal disease (ESRD) annually.

Over 800 million people in the world have CKD. There is no cure for CKD. Mortality: CKD is a significant cause of death worldwide.

1990 - 17th leading cause of death.

2017 - 12th leading cause of death.

2024 - 9th leading cause of death.

2040 - predicted to be 5th leading cause of death.

(Figures from the WHO) Risk Factors: Common risk factors for kidney disease include diabetes, hypertension, obesity, and a family history of kidney disease.

Healthcare Costs: The economic burden of CKD is substantial, with dialysis and kidney transplantation being highly expensive treatments, often straining healthcare

systems, especially in low and middle-income countries.

Kidney Research UK have published reports that state, ‘Kidney disease has become a UK public health emergency’ and ‘Time to Act: A New Review of Kidney Health Inequalities.’

NHS Kidney Care have recently published: Chronic kidney disease costs more than breast, lung, colon and skin cancer combined.

Unless we act NOW treatments for kidney disease may be at risk.

5M Special thanks to Bob Stewart’ sa for y 2024 a summer of fun and fundraising!

N I Kidney Research Fund have enjoyed a great summer of fundraising at many events across Northern Ireland in 2024. They would like to say a huge ‘Thank You’ to all their volunteers who, as per usual, went above and beyond! The weather may have been awful but everyone kept smiling in the rain!

The charity would also like to particularly thank everyone at Robert Stewart’s Spirit Grocer (AKA Bob Stewart’s) in Drumbo, Co. Down.

To the patrons and staff and everyone who attended the weekly Friday night fundraisers over the summer, your kindness and generosity have left a lasting impression. We are proud to be part of a community that comes together to support those in need, and we look forward to partnering with you again in the future.’

SUPPORT

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For more information Email Susan Kee (NIKRF Chair) susannikrf@outlook.com

Terms and conditions apply - please see website for more details. https://nikidneyresearch.org/latest-articles/belfast-marathon-24/

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Creative Bags for your business D

amian Flynn from Creative Binding Solutions reports the growing popularity of his range of paper bags. ‘The increasing awareness of the harmful long term impact of plastics has certainly been a factor’, says Damian, ‘and the quality feel of a good paper bag has also helped encourage funeral directors to move in this direction’.

‘The ability to carry really sharp images appeals to funeral directors who are conscious of their brand image and we have developed a lovely range of bags onto which we can overprint in foil’.

These have proved really popular in recent times and the firm has a growing customer list of funeral directors throughout Ireland who appreciate that having quality branded bags is important for handing out literature or returning personal items to families. Creative Binding Solutions provides a range of standard designs or will help companies to design a bespoke bag.

‘We also see growth in our “Forever in Our Hearts” casket and urn bags which provide a thoughtful touch which families will always remember’.

Alongside their design and print offerings, Creative Binding Solutions continue to provide their ever popular condolence books, binders, umbrellas and pens all of which can be branded with your company name and logo.

Contact Damian at Creative Binding Solutions Ltd., 11 Parkwest Drive, O’Casey Avenue, Parkwest D12 W568 or give him a call on 01 625 1924 to discuss your needs.

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Grieving a Client or Colleague R

osemary, a psychotherapist who has been a colleague and friend of mine for over 30 years, called and asked if we could have lunch. I agreed, suspecting it was more than just a social visit, and I was right.

I have changed names and details to preserve confidentiality and professional integrity.

“I just have to talk to someone and I think you will understand,” she began. “My client Amanda had been referred to me about a year ago and she was finally beginning to respond to treatment.

But about a month ago, she was late for her counselling appointment, which was surprising since she was always on time and had never missed a session with me. About 50 minutes later, my phone rang and I was informed by her case manager that Amanda had died suddenly the night before. Later, we discovered she had died by suicide.”

The shock of Amanda’s death had hit Rosemary hard. At first, she took it very personally and found it difficult to understand the “why”. She was not prepared for the depth or the extent of her grief.

After all, she had never seen Amanda outside the one hour she spent in her office each week to maintain her wellbeing and address her issues.

They were not “friends”. This was a professional relationship even though there was mutual, kind regard and respect between them. So she was bewildered the loss of Amanda’s life had affected her so profoundly?

Rosemary described a kaleidoscope of feelings including sadness, anger, confusion and selfreproach. She had refrained from reaching out to Amanda’s family even though she would have liked to tell them how often and highly she spoke of them, and most importantly, how incredibly hard she had strived to get well. But she had somehow felt it more respectful not to intrude, so she mourned deeply from a distance 80 | FuneralTimes

By Dr Bill Webster As a caregiver, this experience has given Rosemary a different perspective on the role of professionals when their clients or colleagues die.

She made this important statement: “Doctors, nurses, caregivers, counsellors and other professionals can sometimes feel like outsiders after a death. We are not likely to be invited to societal rituals that help with the grieving process.

We do not hear the eulogies that honour the fullness of a life lived or what individuals meant to friends and family. We do not witness and share the recollections shared at a celebration of life, the stories told at a wake or the light-hearted anecdotes exchanged while visiting after a formal funeral service. It feels like sometimes families don’t understand how deeply carers might be grieving when a patient or client dies.”

I think most professionals will be able to identify with Rosemary’s story. We are positioned uniquely in relationship to our clients: we hear the dark struggles, deep fears, hopeful desires and hardwon successes. We may even see individuals more often than their families, especially when individuals are estranged from their families or live apart in different communities.

So, how should we act?

• On hearing of the death of a client, many clinical professionals attempt to “work through the pain” by simply continuing their day as they normally would. Though this may work for some, I believe many, if not most, require time to process the loss

• Be sure to allow yourself to be human, to acknowledge the loss and explore the emotions associated with it. Whenever possible, do this with the help of a colleague like Rosemary did. We know it is not healthy to keep everything bottled up, and that applies to us all.

• Allow yourself to be present with your emotions to help you heal. Most times you may need to continue your work in helping others, but actively processing grief as soon as possible can be a key factor in moving forward healthily. Consider what you would do for someone who had suffered a loss, and then do the same for yourself.

• “To go or not to go” to services of a client who has died or to visit someone in hospital or hospice can be a controversial decision. You have to consider who this person was to you and how your presence might be interpreted or misinterpreted, and the answer may differ in different situations.

• Be careful what you “post” on social media.

Today more than ever we have the ability to communicate freely just about everything.

Public grieving on Facebook and other platforms is considered the norm to many folks. Word about a death or a tragedy is often posted before even the next of kin are informed. But as professionals we need to remember that the client’s right to privacy does not end with their death. Comments such as “I lost a client recently to … whatever” may seem harmless enough, but we must refrain from public expressions of grief or sympathy that either name or share any information that could potentially identify the individual.

On the other hand, from my own perspective, I do wonder whether intense grief sometimes robs families themselves of the opportunity to consider how their loved one may have impacted those not within the inner circle of family and friends but others like professionals who played a part in their lives.

So perhaps considering a phone call expressing your sympathies might be fitting, and possibly lead to an opportunity to ask if it would be appropriate and appreciated if you were to attend any service.

Remember we are not machines, so allow yourself to not only be a professional but also a human being. So act carefully, be safe, but also do good.

D

r. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process .

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss.

The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.

FuneralTimes | 81

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