FT Issue 2 2025 for web

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

2025 Vol.25 No.2

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Humanist funerals and memorials are non-religious ceremonies which focus on the person who has died, the life they led, and the relationships they forged. They are based on the humanist perspective that every life is valuable and unique. è ĉĖĎĂďĊĔĕ ćĖďĆēĂč Đē ĎĆĎĐēĊĂč ĊĔ ĕĉĆ đĆēćĆĄĕ ĐđĕĊĐď ćĐē ćĂĎĊčĊĆĔ Ăďą ćēĊĆďąĔ ĘĉĐ ĘĂďĕ Ă ĔĊďĄĆēĆ đĆēĔĐďĂč ĄĐĎĎĆĎĐēĂĕĊĐď Đć ĕĉĆĊē čĐėĆą ĐďĆ ĘĊĕĉĐĖĕ ēĆčĊĈĊĐď ìĂĄĉ ćĖďĆēĂč Ăďą ĎĆĎĐēĊĂč ĄĆēĆĎĐďĚ ĊĔ ĕĂĊčĐēĆą ĕĐ ĕĉĆ đĆēĔĐď ĘĉĐ ĉĂĔ ąĊĆą Ăďą ĕĉĆ ĘĊĔĉĆĔ Đć ĕĉĆ đĆĐđčĆ ĘĉĐ čĐėĆ ĕĉĆĎ Ċď ĕĉĆ ĎĐĔĕ ĥĕĕĊďĈ ĘĂĚ đĐĔĔĊăčĆ ûĉĂĕ ĎĂĚ ăĆ Ăď ĖđăĆĂĕ ĄĆčĆăēĂĕĊĐď Đć čĊćĆ Đē Ă ĄĆēĆĎĐďĚ ĘĊĕĉ Ă ĎĐēĆ ĕēĂąĊĕĊĐďĂč ĕĐďĆ ïĖĎĂďĊĔĕ ćĖďĆēĂčĔ ĂēĆ ĊďĄčĖĔĊėĆ Ăďą ĘĆčĄĐĎĊďĈ ĕĐ đĆĐđčĆ Đć Ăčč ăĂĄČĈēĐĖďąĔ Ăďą ćĂĊĕĉĔ ûĉĆĚ ĐćĕĆď ĊďĄčĖąĆ ĕĊĎĆ ćĐē ēĆĦĆĄĕĊĐď Đď ĕĉĆ đĆēĔĐď ĘĉĐ ĉĂĔ ąĊĆą ĘĉĆď ĕĉĐĔĆ ĘĊĕĉ ēĆčĊĈĊĐĖĔ ăĆčĊĆćĔ ĄĂď ĔĂĚ Ă ĔĊčĆďĕ đēĂĚĆē Ċć ĕĉĆĚ ĘĊĔĉ Humanist funerals and memorial ceremonies are conducted by our trained and accredited celebrants.

FIND YOUR LOCAL CELEBRANT Michael Conlon 07494 505033

Terri Gilleece 07801418492

Janni Knox 07890 861690

Trevor Molloy 07549 946622

Emma Crawford 07976 124056

Avril Hawthorne 07854 436914

Richard Lavery 07802 839543

Rachel Smith 07957 474643

Joan Davis 07546 954222

Stewart Holden 07971 634098

Michael McAlinden 07305 892201

Ian Deboys 07368 440040

Hope Kelly 07530 000300

MaryLou McShane 07962 906236

Emily O'Dowd Lewis 07955 200555

humanists.uk/ceremonies ïĖĎĂďĊĔĕĔ üò -3 ôĐēĆčĂďą úĕēĆĆĕ óĐďąĐď ìê+ý 2éé ùĆĈĊĔĕĆēĆą êĉĂēĊĕĚ õĐ ,2/321

Declan Walsh 07859 816585

The magazine for Funeral Directors in Ireland

Vincent Murphy on the big screen p56

Cork man buried in his own private burial ground p58

40 years a funeral director p76

Contents

IAFD News......................................................................................................................................8 New board appointment.........................................................................................................9 Falconers reimagining death notices............................................................................... 14 Accessible funeral ceremonies.......................................................................................... 22 Senior appointments at Funeral Partners..................................................................... 27 BIE News....................................................................................................................................... 32 Alana Gillen on the importance of professional biohazard cleaning............. 36 Rory McKeown on Preparation Room insurance.....................................................46 SAIF News....................................................................................................................................50 BIE Certificate and Diploma in funeral service........................................................... 55 Vincent Murphy on the big screen.................................................................................. 56 Cork man buried in his own private burial ground................................................... 58 Ian Fee on Fields of Memory..............................................................................................60 Bridget Jones and grief by Jennifer Muldowney........................................................ 63 HUGG offers support for those bereaved by suicide............................................ 65 40 years a funeral director in Fermoy............................................................................69 Conor Clear on Choice, change and comfort............................................................ 76 ‘Quote, unquote’ by Mattie Lennon...............................................................................80 Dr Bill Webster on A time for everything..................................................................... 83 Classifieds.................................................................................................................................... 85

EDITORIAL AND ADVERTISING CONTACTS: Graham Brown, Ruth McQuillan, Vikki Crangle, Paula Hanna Tel: (028) 3835 5060 (048) from ROI

Funeral Times is owned and published by: InHouse Publications, 1 Annagh Drive, Craigavon, Co. Armagh BT63 5WF E: sales@funeraltimes.com

Disclaimer: Readers are urged to support the magazine’s advertisers, but the publishers cannot be held responsible for any claims made or implied in the advertisements. The publishers reserve the right to refuse advertising. Opinions expressed in this magazine by contributing writers and advertisers are not necessarily those of the publishers. Every effort is made to ensure the accuracy of information contributed for inclusion in this magazine but no legal responsibility will be accepted by the publishers for loss arising from the use of published articles. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without prior consent. Articles and photographs for inclusion are welcomed but the publishers cannot accept responsibility for their loss or damage however caused.

FuneralTimes | 3

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Why Cullen Funeralcare is the ideal partner for your funeral home I n the ever-evolving funeral industry, offering personalised and enduring memorials is paramount.

That’s where Cullen Funeralcare steps in, providing an unmatched combination of innovative software, high-quality printers, and UV-resistant nameplates that help funeral homes create lasting tributes for loved ones.

Why are we becoming so popular with funeral homes around the world? The answer lies in the quality, ease of use, and durability of the products we offer. Continuously introducing new and innovative items to the death industry.

But our commitment to quality doesn’t stop there. We also provide our own specialized inkjet inks, which ensure that every memorial creation-from photos to wallet cards and bookmarks—has vibrant colors and long-lasting quality. The ink is specially formulated to work seamlessly with our order of service printers and software, ensuring that every piece of memorial stationery is not only beautiful but creates a high gloss finish.

Speaking of software, Cullen Funeralcare offers a user-friendly design program that allows funeral homes to create customized memorial products with ease. The software’s intuitive interface makes it simple to design unique and beautiful tributes in-house, saving time and resources. Whether you’re designing a photo for a headstone, creating wallet cards to be distributed to loved ones, or producing bookmarks that carry cherished memories, our software makes the process straightforward and efficient.

One of the key benefits of partnering with

6 | FuneralTimes

Cullen Funeralcare is the ability to bring all design work in-house. This means no more waiting for third-party suppliers or dealing with lengthy lead times. With our tools, funeral homes can provide immediate, custom-made memorials, ensuring families receive timely, personalized tributes when they need them most.

Additionally, Cullen Funeralcare is dedicated to providing ongoing support and guidance.

Our team is always available to assist with any technical questions or design tips, ensuring that your funeral home can make the most out of our products and services.

By choosing Cullen Funeralcare as your supplier, you’re not just purchasing a productyou’re investing in a long-term partnership that helps your funeral home deliver superior service to grieving families. Remember, personalised memorial stationery is a professional form of advertising your comapny.

Cullen Funeralcare is a specialist in supplying cutting-edge software and printers designed to produce high-quality UV-resistant nameplates.

Our new photoplates for headstones have been lab-tested in Florida, ensuring they resist harsh environmental conditions for 10 years, making them perfect for use on columbarium walls, and headstones. The quality of the print is first class.

In short, Cullen Funeralcare combines innovation, reliability, and customer-focused support, making us the ideal partner for any funeral home that seeks to provide families with the most personal, enduring tributes to their loved ones.

Irish Association of Funeral Directors launches Strategic Plan 2025–2027 T he Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) is proud to announce the launch of its Strategic Plan 2025–2027, a forward-looking roadmap designed to guide the association’s growth and strengthen its role in the funeral profession over the next three years.

Developed following an extensive strategic review in 2024, this plan reflects the IAFD’s commitment to excellence, professionalism, and service within the sector.

At the heart of the strategy is a renewed focus on supporting IAFD members in delivering the highest standards of care to their communities. The plan outlines a vision to inspire professionalism and unity among members, while its mission is to empower them through professional development, collaboration, and advocacy.

The IAFD’s strategy is built on seven key priorities aimed at creating lasting impact: 1. Strengthening organisational structure to ensure effective governance.

2. Enhancing membership value through tailored benefits and engagement.

3. Elevating education and standards to promote excellence across the profession.

4. Improving communication and engagement with members and the public.

5. Advancing advocacy efforts to influence policy and public understanding.

6. Driving revenue growth and sustainability to secure the association’s future.

7. Fostering strategic planning and transparency to maintain trust and accountability.

The plan will be implemented through a clear action plan, with regular reviews and member feedback to ensure progress. Success will be measured through key indicators such as membership growth, engagement levels, and the association’s influence on industry standards.

The IAFD Strategic Plan 2025–2027 represents a significant step forward for the association, ensuring it remains a leading voice in the funeral profession. By focusing on professionalism, member support, and industry leadership, the IAFD aims to uphold the highest standards while serving communities across Ireland with compassion and integrity.

A heartfelt thank you to Pat Smyth T he IAFD Board would like to express its sincere appreciation to Pat Smyth for his dedication and service as Honorary Treasurer.

Pat joined the Board in 2023 and brought a wealth of knowledge, professionalism, and commitment to the role. Throughout his tenure, he played a key part in overseeing financial matters and ensuring the continued stability of the organisation.

Due to personal reasons, Pat has now stepped down from his position. While his departure is 8 | FuneralTimes

a loss to the Board, we remain grateful for the time, effort, and expertise he shared with us. His contributions have left a lasting impact, and his hard work will not be forgotten.

On behalf of the entire Board and IAFD members, we extend our warmest thanks to Pat and wish him every success and happiness in the future.

Welcome to the IAFD Board, Jane Clarke!

The Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) is pleased to welcome Jane Clarke, Assistant Group General Manager and Director at Staffords Funeral Directors, as the newest member of the IAFD Board. Based in Raheny, Dublin, Jane brings a wealth of experience, a fresh perspective, and a deep commitment to the funeral profession.

With a unique background in journalism, marketing, and property sales, Jane combines strategic thinking with a strong respect for the values of the funeral industry. She is a passionate advocate for cooperation, high standards, and education, and is dedicated to supporting her team’s growth and development.

Jane is honoured to join the board and looks forward to contributing to the IAFD’s mission of promoting excellence and professionalism across the sector.

Please join us in welcoming Jane to the IAFD Board. We are excited to work with her and benefit from her expertise and vision in the years ahead.

Welcome, Jane!

IAFD launches official LinkedIn page – Follow us today!

T

he Irish Association of Funeral Directors (IAFD) is pleased to introduce our official LinkedIn page! This new platform will keep members and industry professionals informed with the latest news, updates, and insights from the funeral sector in Ireland.

We invite you to follow us at

https://www.linkedin.com/ company/irish-associationof-funeral-directors-iafd/ or use the QR code and stay connected as we continue to support and represent funeral directors nationwide.

Join the conversation and be part of our growing online community!

FuneralTimes | 9

Niamh Sweeney (President) John Sweeney and Sons Fairgreen Arklow, Co Wicklow Ph: 0402 32333 Email: president@iafd.ie Fintan Cooney (First Vice President) Fanagans Funeral Directors 54 Aungier Street Dublin 2 Ph: 01 4167700 Email: fintancooney@fanagans.ie Paul Reilly (Hon. Secretary) Oliver Reilly Ltd Funeral Directors Leinster Street, Maynooth Ph: 045-868230 Email: secretary@iafd.ie Kylie Gourley (Membership Officer) Funeral Partners Northern Ireland 300 Newtownards Road Belfast BT4 1HF Ph: 028 9045 1021 Email: membership@iafd.ie Peter Maguire (Education Officer) Massey Bros Funerals Head office 109 The Coombe, Dublin 8, D08 AK10 Telephone 01 4533333 Email: education@iafd.ie John Mark Griffin (Public Relations Officer) Griffin Funerals John’s Gate Pennywell Limerick Ph: 061 415000 Email: pro@iafd.ie 10 | FuneralTimes

Niall Mulligan (Immediate Past President) Heffernan’s Funeral Directors Trim, Co. Meath Mobile: 086 8208501 Ph: 046 9438662 Email: heffernansfd@gmail.com Tom Lawless Lawless Funeral Directors Mucklagh, Tullamore, Co. Offaly Ph: 057 9322622 Email: info@tullamorefunerals.ie Dara Gillespie Finlays Funeral Service Tierney Street Ardee, Co. Louth Mobile: 086 7923472 Email: dara.gillespie@finlaygrp.com Donal Forde Fordes Funeral Homes Ltd South Gate Bridge Cork, Co. Cork Ph: 021 4318222 Email: donal@fordesfuneralhome.ie Jane Clarke Staffords Funeral Directors 60 North Strand Road, Dublin 3.

Ph: 01 8550555 Email: janec@funeralservices.ie

A Grief e Sup Support P Programme For Your Families

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Reimagining Death Notices - By Erich Falconer, Managing Director of Falconers Undertakers -

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eath notices have traditionally been viewed as formal announcements, but at Falconers, we believe they can offer much more. It’s important to choose a death notices platform that best serves our families’ needs, and at the same time, we find it vital to also focus on our own website and social channels.

By building a direct connection with our community, we’re better prepared to adapt as new death notice platforms emerge. Our core goal remains the same: honouring each person in a way that truly comforts their family. Over the past year, we’ve introduced ideas that blend tradition with modern approaches, helping us stay closely involved with those we serve.

Family and Friends Remember One key change was adding “Family and Friends Remember” paragraphs. Rather than just listing dates and times, our notices include short messages or memories from loved ones, making each tribute feel more personal.

Families tell us these ministories capture who their loved one truly was.

We also encourage families to choose meaningful images, perhaps a silhouette of a favourite musician, when a recent photo isn’t available.

These small details go a long way towards creating a deeper emotional connection.

Another innovation we’ve introduced is our Star Kids Care Packs, which provide

gentle guidance for parents and children as they process loss. They include activities and resources to help kids navigate grief, offering a unique layer of support that many families have found invaluable.

Adapting to Modern Communication We recently refreshed our website with simpler navigation, clear service details, and a dedicated space to display personalised tributes. We now also include transparent, upfront pricing for everything from traditional funerals and cremations to eco-friendly options like water cremation. Families have told us they appreciate this clarity, it helps them make decisions

Pictured (left to right) are Erich Falconer, Michelle Connelly, Ursula Falconer and James Falconer 14 | FuneralTimes

confidently and reduces added stress at a difficult time.

We’ve become more active on social media too.

The result? A steady rise in enquiries and a renewed sense of community. People enjoy being able to see our “human side,” such as reading personal stories from our team or discovering tips on dealing with bereavement. This online engagement has encouraged families to approach us earlier, giving us the chance to help in a more meaningful way.

Why It Matters for Funeral Directors Some in our profession worry that adding personal touches or engaging heavily on social media might stray too far from tradition. In our experience,

though, these respectful updates still honour long-held values while offering families deeper care.

• Free Online Tools: Our new Churches of Waterford directory helps families unfamiliar with the area plan services smoothly.

• Children’s Support: Star Kids Care Packs provide an emotional safety net for young mourners.

When done sensitively, these additions reinforce the compassion at the heart of our work, rather than replace it.

Looking Ahead At Falconers, we’ve found that even minor adjustments, like heartfelt paragraphs, detailed online information, or a care pack for children,

can transform a family’s experience of saying goodbye.

These efforts also build closer bonds in our community, reminding everyone that a funeral is about honouring a life lived as much as marking a passing.

If you’re a fellow funeral director, we hope our journey offers a few ideas for your own practice. We’re always open to learning from others, and we’ve found it personally rewarding to connect with the community online and in person. Please visit our updated website or follow us on social media to see these changes in action.

Let’s keep sharing insights and raising the standard of care together.

Morning Grave Products, Listillion, Letterkenny, Co. Donegal Tel: 074 9120449 Email: morningdonegal@gmail.com Web: www.morninggraveproducts.ie FuneralTimes | 15

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Michael Cusack, Kilrush, Co. Clare collects his 3 door Passat Hearse from Quinn Hearse and Limousine

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Quinn’s continue product launches with new 3 door Passat hearse Quinn Hearse and Limousine are proud to announce the latest step forward in our ongoing vehicle development programme: the release of our new 3-door hearse, based on the newest model Volkswagen Passat. As with all our vehicles, this latest addition has been carefully designed and built in County Antrim to meet the practical needs of funeral directors, while maintaining the dignity and presence expected of a hearse.

This latest Passat hearse represents a significant evolution from the previous model, which was warmly received by customers across the UK and Ireland. The new version offers a sleek and refined exterior design that sits comfortably alongside modern funeral fleets, while retaining the classic proportions and understated styling that remain important in our industry.

It also comes equipped with some of the most advanced features yet found in a Quinn vehicle, including Volkswagen’s new-generation automated driving assist systems and a state-of-the-art multimedia interface, making long journeys smoother and more comfortable.

Despite these innovations, it remains true to the character of a traditional hearse- quiet, respectful, and elegant.

Deliveries are already underway, and early feedback has been extremely positive. For us, it marks the beginning of an exciting new chapter, as we continue to offer practical, high-quality vehicles to meet the needs of funeral directors throughout the island.

FuneralTimes | 17

On The Day Grave Surrounds (Grave Surrounds Ltd. Read. 765548) Unit 6 Howleys Square, Main Street, Oranmore, Galway

T: 086 2645707 E: info@gravesurrounds.ie (Patent Application No. GB2317496.4)

Tidying up with Grave surrounds Irish funeral director Michael Keogh has come up with a new product to address a problem all too familiar to every undertaker. He remembers well the day when the need crystalised for him and he set to designing a solution.

“I was doing a normal funeral for a family, where we decorated the grave with our green covers on the morning of the ceremony. The family came for the burial and all went well, afterwards they went to a hotel with their friends for a meal as normal.

When all their friends are gone, it is common for the family to come back for the ”first visit to the grave”. This day I forgot something in the graveyard and went back in the evening.

I arrived back at the same time as the family to the grave. As all the covers where gone, I could see how uncomfortable the family were with seeing the grave for the first time. This is partially due to the grave being dug with a machine which leaves the ground very rough, especially on a wet day, and we don’t have as many floral wreaths at a funeral as we might of had in previous years”.

Michael set out to find a reasonably low cost solution which might address the problem and

came up with On The Day Grave Surrounds.

“I knew it was important to come up with something which could be erected quickly without the need for tools. It also had to fit into a hearse or car and be used as an add on to the services of a funeral director without involving an outside company.”

Grave Surrounds allows a funeral director to produce a nice tidy grave, even when it is new and opened for the first time. This allows families, who are likely to visit most often in the first couple to months, to have a pleasant, well finished grave until they organise a permanent headstone and surround.

Michael says, “A bereavement councillor described an Irish funeral with the following: When a family suffers a death, they go on a path of bereavement. A good Irish funeral will put them on the right path and ease them on their way” I think that this product will help continue this idea, on the forgotten part of a funeral.”

FuneralTimes | 19

Benefits to bereaved families On The Day Grave Surrounds offer a range of benefits to bereaved families: • Marks out the grave plot from the day of the funeral • Provides the family with a finished grave from the day of the funeral (relative to the present situation) • Provides a decorative finish for the grave enables tending of the grave from the day of the funeral which is an important part of the bereavement process for many families • An extremely cost-effective option compared to the cost of making a DIY timber frame and having it assembling by two people • Multiple designs available to suit a variety of preferences such as religious denominations, non-religious, environmentally friendly options and more based on customer demand Benefits to funeral directors On The Day Grave Surrounds offer a range of benefits to funeral directors: • Product caters to an already existing market adds a new line of income and profit to their business with very little expenditure • Applies a professional finish to a funeral • allows funeral directors control of the market as they are the only ones with access to the technology that produces the name plate for the temporary grave marker and surround • The marketing road map already exists and is in operation for the temporary grave 20 | FuneralTimes

markers; 99% of all new graves opened, use a temporary grave marker • The product is light and portable and fits in the normal storage places within a hearse, either behind the seats or in a lower deck in the back of the vehicle • The product can be assembled in just ten minutes • No tools are required for assembly Benefits to Grave diggers • No Tools needed • It is portable in the back of a hearse or the boot of a car • The grave is filled to ground level, the surround is put in place and the surround is filled in. Making the completion of the back filling much quicker and with a professional finish.

For more information, please contact On The Day Grave Surrounds, Unit 6 Howleys Square, Main Street, Galway T: 086 2645707 E: info@ gravesurrounds.ie

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Accessible funeral ceremonies Accessible funeral ceremonies are funeral services that can adapt to people’s individual needs.

Everyone has a right to say goodbye to their loved one.

As a celebrant it is important that I ask families if there are any access needs, for anyone attending the funeral/ celebration of life. It is then up to me to make sure everyone feels they have had their chance to say goodbye.

When someone doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye due to an access issue it does stop that individual from being able to start the grieving process.

Access can be as simple as making sure that everyone that

needs a seat has one. You may not know the access needs of everyone attending but if you are aware you need to be able to adapt the ceremony.

If someone with a visual impairment is attending a funeral service, I will be more descriptive of what is happening during the ceremony, if the family are placing roses on the coffin, I would simply say the family are now placing bright red roses on the coffin, you see how a small change like adding the colour can make a big difference.

I have a hidden disability so making sure the ceremonies I hold are accessible is

extremely important to me. I am not an expert on accessibility, but I am constantly making sure that I am educating myself and learning new ways to adapt my ceremonies so that they are inclusive and accessible to everyone.

Katie Quigley Funeral Celebrant 087-9541685

Inclusive and Accessible Ceremonies, for those who fall outside of the traditional faith paths.

Based in the West of Ireland.

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22 | FuneralTimes

QUALITY WHERE IT MATTERS Established in the early 1990’s, DJ MacNeice & Company Limited has forged a reputation as the leading supplier and manufacturer in the funeral business in Ireland. Here at DJ MacNeice, we value the needs and individual requirements of each of our customers. That is why all our mortuary and funeral products are sourced and manufactured to meet the highest industry production standards.

Here at DJ MacNeice & Co we cover all your funeral supplies needs from embalming fluids, mortuary supplies for mounting and linings for caskets and coffins, grave mat sets, grave markers and a high quality selection of urns and keepsakes cards. All our products are manufactured to the highest standards.

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High quality ABS Plastic Handles finished in polished gold.

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www.djmacneice.com info@djmacneice.com (071) 913 3145 Please contact (071) 913 3145 for more information.

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Third largest Funeral Service Provider in the UK. Over 280 branches, 140 family businesses.

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As a business owner, take control to protect your legacy Sam Kershaw Chief Executive Officer 07834 531822 sam.kershaw@funeralpartners.co.uk Steve Wilkinson Mergers & Acquisitions Director 07528 970531 steve.wilkinson@funeralpartners.co.uk

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-VY HU PUMVYTHS JVUÄKLU[PHS MYLL valuation or conversation about selling your business now, or in the future, call Sam or Steve corporate.funeralpartners.co.uk

Funeral Partners appoint long-serving duo to Area Development Manager roles Funeral Partners Northern Ireland has promoted two of their brightest homegrown talents to the senior position of Area Development Manager.

B

oth Emma Moore and Kylie Gourley, have progressed with the company and are now in charge of a significant number of funeral homes each.

Area Development Managers play a key role in ensuring families receive exceptional service, and develop the homes they oversee through great people management, business awareness and active community engagement.

Emma became interested in the funeral profession following the death of her grandfather. His funeral was carried out by Mulhollands Funeral Directors and she began working with the business as an arranger in 2010.

“Mulhollands is now one of the branches I manage – so in some ways I have come full circle,” Emma said.

“I enjoy working with teams that have the families at the forefront of everything they do - they strive to provide the best service possible to grieving families, which makes me incredibly proud.

“The new role has enabled me to focus more on standards overall for the families, with support from our Funeral Managers.

“Funeral Partners have played

Emma Moore and Kylie Gourley a big role in my development, with support from senior management and HR.” Kylie started as a Fleeting Coordinator in 2016 where her responsibilities included co-ordinating funerals and allocating duties to team members.

Having completed a qualification in Strategic Management and Leadership last year, she is enjoying putting her new skills to practical use.

“Stepping into a more strategic leadership role has been both exciting and challenging—balancing hands-on involvement with empowering teams, driving business growth across multiple locations, and ensuring consistency in service

and standards.

“There are moments when I think – ‘Wow, how did I get here?’ but I’m grateful for the journey and eager to make a meaningful impact.

“I have always felt extremely proud to work within the funeral sector and feel truly privileged to have worked alongside some of the most fantastic colleagues—both within our company and through the relationships I’ve built with other funeral directors.

“The dedication and passion within this profession continue to inspire me every day.”

For more information about careers at Funeral Partners visit https://corporate. funeralpartners.co.uk/ careers/ FuneralTimes | 27

Dedicated Funeral Arranger marks special service milestone at Belfast Funeral Directors A Funeral Arranger is celebrating 35 years of providing unwavering care and compassion to grieving families.

J

une McCandless has been working with Houston & Williamson Funeral Directors, based in Crumlin Road, Belfast for more than three decades, through sweeping changes in the industry and different generations of management.

June said she still gets the same satisfaction from her role as she always had.

“Ultimately, I want to take the pressures and stress off the family who has suffered a bereavement,” she said.

“There are challenging times, of course. You meet people in their darkest hour and witness the pain they are in as they grieve for their loved ones.

“But I love helping them through that, which is a big part of why I have stayed here for 35 years.”

Alongside her tireless work, June has volunteered with the Time to Read programme at Fourtowns Primary School for two decades.

The initiative aims to improve

literacy, foster a love of reading and build confidence and social skills of children in Key Stage Two. Area Development Manager Emma Moore said: “June is the glue that has held Houston and Williamson together for so long.

“She has been through it all – from the team around her changing to movements in laws and regulations and stood by us with unwavering

dedication, helping guide our team and our families with compassion and grace.

“Her caring nature, compassionate heart, and tireless work ethic have left an indelible mark on so many people.

“Most of the families who come to us have had the privilege of meeting June, and her kindness has undoubtedly provided comfort in their times of need.

“On top of this, June is a true champion of literacy and has had a lasting impact on her community outside of work with her commitment to Time to Read.”

For more information about Houston & Williamson Funeral Directors visit https://www.houston williamsonfuneraldirectors. com/

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28 | FuneralTimes

A dignified and distinctive farewell

Pierce Coachbuilders

P

ierce Coachbuilders have produced yet another one of their custom built Trailer Hearses, offering a dignified and distinctive farewell for any member of the family.

The trailer hearse offers a unique, elegant and memorable alternative to traditional hearses.

Designed to be towed behind a car, motorcycle or custom vehicle, it allows for a personalised, dignified procession that reflects the life and passions of the departed.

The Trailer is now ready for shipment to its new owner in the UK.

FuneralTimes | 29

Joan Davis 07546 954222

Stewart Holden 07971 634098

Michael McAlinden 07305 892201

Ian Deboys 07368 440040

Hope Kelly 07530 000300

MaryLou McShane 07962 906236

Emily O'Dowd Lewis 07955 200555 Declan Walsh 07859 816585

Introducing some of our local celebrants ... humanists.uk/ceremonies

Humanists UK, 39 Moreland Street, London EC1V 8BB Registered Charity No. 285987

EMMA CRAWFORD

MICHAEL MCALINDEN

MÁIRE DE BUITLÉAR

Emma has quickly become a trusted and respected humanist celebrant with funeral directors and crematorium staff.

She has a kind and empathetic approach and delivers a warm and personable ceremony that aims to be inclusive to those of all faiths and none. She loves listening to the stories and memories people have of their loved ones and works hard to craft a unique funeral ceremony that celebrates their life while acknowledging the grief.

As a trained family mediator and with over 20 years experience in working in the caring sector in a variety of roles, Emma has excellent people and communication skills.

Emma has a fun but busy family life in Ballyclare with her partner, twins, and three dogs. She loves nothing more than going for a forest walk with them all, followed by tea and carrot cake in a cosy café.

Michael (aka Micky) is very much a people person having worked in the voluntary and statutory youth service in Northern Ireland for the past 30 years.

Having worked with young people all his professional life, he has a keen sense of service to the community so becoming a celebrant was a natural progression for him.

He trained in 2019 to become a humanist funeral celebrant following the death of a close friend who was non-religious but whose family were unaware that a non-religious funeral was an option. From this point on funerals have become very important to Micky who notes that, while we need to mourn the loss of a loved one, we also need to remember and celebrate the wonderful life they have lived and the joy they brought to everyone who knew them.

Máire spent the first half of her life so far in Dublin, the second half in Belfast.

Having spent the past two decades supporting people as a counsellor specialising in bereavement and trauma, she has a deep warm empathy and a particular affinity with funerals.

She now conducts all humanist ceremony types for people at times of transition and change in their lives.

A nature lover, she grew up surrounded by beaches and parks and loves nothing better than an outdoor ceremony.

Máire lives in Belfast with her husband and a ginger long-term foster cat called Mr Tumble.

She reads an awful lot, is often at the theatre and loves a good life story.

30 | FuneralTimes

BIE News BIE News Ireland Division Hi All, I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who attended our AGM and first meeting in the Hamlet Court Hotel, Johnstownbridge on the 9th February 2025. It was a pleasure to have our National president Rachel Shipley attend with us for her guidance and professionalism. We had a great guest speaker Mr. Declan McLaughlin Senior Lecturer in Biomedical Sciences at Queen’s University Belfast. He went through his professional path from student to senior lecturer! Throughout his presentation he gave an insight into the university and the job opportunities available. It was so nice to catch up with everyone. I would like to say a huge thank you to our Secretary Jenny Tighe who has helped me over the last few years with the organising of the meetings and all the admin. I’ve gained a friend for life! A big welcome to our new secretary Sarah Roe, her details have been added on the next page.

I encourage all our members to take a moment to reflect on the nature of our profession.

We are part of a unique and specialized field, and our shared experiences create a strong professional bond. It is essential that we maintain mutual respect for one another, recognizing that we all face similar challenges and approach our work with a shared mindset. Respect and professionalism should be at the core of our interactions, and under no circumstances should any member be subjected to disrespect by another. Our meetings serve as a safe and open forum where members can discuss work-related matters without fear of judgment. Any instances of disrespect will be addressed appropriately!

Our next meeting will be held on the 25th May 2025 the location is to be confirmed. I’m really looking forward to seeing everyone!

On a final note, just a reminder to our members if they can fill out the questionnaire on the biocidal products and return to the email address provided.

BIE Irish Chairperson 32 | FuneralTimes

Niamh Cusack

List of BIE Officers and Appointed Representatives for 2024/2025 IRISH DIVISION Chairperson, Divisional Liaison Officer & 2nd National Council Rep: Niamh Cusack MBIE Ballingowan West, Villierstown, Cappoquin, Co. Waterford.

Tel: 086 3744762 E: cusackembalmings@gmail.com Vice Chairperson: Gillian O’Shea Magnh, Fenor South, Tramore, Co. Waterford Tel 086 0685591 E: gillianosheabie@gmail.com Secretary & Public Relations officer: Sarah Roe 4. Thorndale Park, Arthane Dublin D05 T9H0 Tel: 085 7313237 E: sarah.roe.embalming@gmail.com 1st National Council Rep & National Educational Rep: Cyril Gantley MBIE 336 Kildare Road, Crumlin, Dublin 12 Mobile: 085 7671582 E: cyril.gantley@mortuary-science.ie Treasurer and Professional Standards Rep: Susan Moran MBIE 20 Cedarwood Park Newbridge, Co. Kildare Mobile 086 0619500 E.susan.moran@mortuary-science.ie

NORTHERN IRELAND DIVISION NI Chairman: David Rice MBIE Milne Funeral Services 59 Seagoe Road, Portadown BT63 5HS Tel: 07811 109343 Email: contact@milnefuneralservices.co.uk NI Vice Chairman: Nicholas Gormley MBIE Unit 5, 3 Main Street, Maghera BT46 5AA Tel: 07761 500902 Email: support@gms-ni.com

NI Secretary: Jamie Carnahan MBIE S. Clarke & Son Funeral Directors 12 Court Square, Newtownards BT23 7NY Tel: 028 9181 2168 Email: jamie@sclarkeandson.co.uk

NATIONAL UK DIVISION

NI Treasurer: Andrew McMullan MBIE 22 High Street, Ballymoney Co. Antrim BT53 6AQ Tel: 028 2766 2265 E: andrew@mcmullanfunerals.com

1st Vice National President: Edward Williams-Price MBIE

NI Public Relations Offcer: Ciaran Bailie MBIE 27 Navan Court Armagh Tel. 07523 477852 ciaranbailie@googlemail.com NI Student Liaison Officer Charlie Poots MBIE NI 1st National Council Representative: Laurence O’Neill MBIE 98 Stewartstown Road, Belfast BT11 9JP Tel: 028 9062 0099 E: oneill8210@hotmail.com NI 2nd National Council Representative: Mrs Barbara Fowley, MBIE Killakee, Rockbrook Rathfarnham, Dublin 16 Telephone: 00353 (0)86 1911022 Email: barbarafowley@yahoo.ie

President: Mrs Rachel Shipley MBIE Imm. Past National President: Richard D. Van Nes MBIE

2nd Vice National President: Maria Stibbards MBIE National PRO & National General Secretary: Karen Caney FBIE White Meadow Cottage, Brailsford, Derby DE6 3DA Mobile: 07786 432014 E: ngs@bioe.co.uk National Treasurer: Michael Liddle FBIE 10 Yew Tree Close, Silsoe MK45 4EQ Tel: 01525 860117 E: michaelliddle914@gmail.com Editor: Gwen Schofield FBIE 9 Seymour Walk, Meltham, Holmfirth HD9 4BP Home Tel: 01484 851994 Mobile: 07778 279100 E: gwen.schofield@ntlworld.co.uk Master Fellow: Karen Caney FBIE Student Liaison Officer: Adrian Walters MBIE Tel: 01564 778991

NI Professional Standards Rep: Pat Harley, MBIE 67 Creggan Road, L’derry BT48 9DA Tel: 07712 899137 E: pat.harley@hotmail.co.uk NI 1st Educational Committee Representative: Deborah McConnell MBIE James Brown & Sons 300 Newtownards Road, Belfast Tel: 028 9045 1021 E: jamesbrown.belfast@funeralpartners. com

FuneralTimes | 33

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Shane Finnegan and Bernard McPhillips of Lakelands Funeral Home and Crematorium lift the keys to their new 5 door E Class hearse from Quinn’s in Co. Antrim

Padraic Cawley Civil Funeral Celebrant Celebrating the life of the deceased, reflecting their personal beliefs, wishes, values and traditions.

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The importance of using a professional biohazard cleaning after death: Protecting families and communities in Ireland

I

n the wake of a death, whether expected or sudden, families are often left reeling from the emotional and logistical challenges that follow.

Among the most pressing, though frequently overlooked, is the safe and hygienic cleanup of a property. Biohazard cleaning after death isn’t just about clearing away physical remnants; it’s about protecting the health and safety of loved ones, as well as safeguarding the community.

As difficult as it may be to address, the cleaning process must be handled properly to prevent serious health risks and contamination.

Sadly, many people are turning to unsanctioned methods, such as placing decomposed matter in skips, either unaware or indifferent to the severe consequences. This is not only a violation of public health standards but a threat to the wellbeing of those around them.

The hidden dangers of improper cleanup When a death occurs, particularly under traumatic circumstances, biological matter begins to decompose rapidly. Decomposition brings with it hazardous pathogens, bacteria, viruses, and other harmful agents that can easily spread if not dealt with correctly. We are trained to handle and dispose of these materials in compliance with health regulations, ensuring that any risks associated with hazardous and potentially harmful materials are eliminated.

Improper disposal, such as placing furniture or flooring contaminated with bodily fluids in skips, is not only a violation of ethical standards but also a dangerous practice. This can leak and contaminate the surrounding environment, exposing workers, neighbours, animals and even

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28/09/2023 09:54

the general public to harmful pathogens like blood borne viruses, bacteria, and spores.

Why professional biohazard cleaning Is crucial 1. Health and Safety: A professional cleaning service is equipped with the right tools, protective equipment, and knowledge to handle biohazards safely. This ensures that no harmful pathogens are left behind and the property is thoroughly decontaminated.

2. Emotional Support: The emotional toll on families who have just lost a loved one cannot be overstated. Asking grieving family members to clean up the aftermath of death is not only unfair but also traumatic.

Biohazard cleaning services provide a compassionate and discreet solution, allowing families to focus on their emotional recovery instead of facing a grim and dangerous task.

3. Legal Compliance: In both the North and South of Ireland, there are strict regulations surrounding the disposal of hazardous materials. We as professional biohazard cleaners adhere to these laws, ensuring that all waste is disposed of properly, thereby avoiding any legal complications.

4. Preventing Long-Term Damage: Decomposed biological matter can cause long-term damage to property, from structural integrity issues to unpleasant odors and potential mold growth. Professional cleaners use advanced

equipment and techniques to remove contaminants, ensuring that the home or property is returned to a safe, habitable state.

A call to action We urge families across Ireland to consider the importance of using professional biohazard cleaning services after the death of a loved one.

It is vital not only for the immediate health and safety of the family but for the well-being of the wider community. The consequences of improper cleanup can be far-reaching, leading to health risks, emotional distress, and even legal repercussions.

It is our duty of care to Encourage families to trust in professionals with the expertise and tools to handle these sensitive situations can make all the difference. With trained specialists at the helm, the focus can remain where it truly belongs - on honouring the life of the deceased and helping the family navigate a difficult time with the dignity and care they deserve.

At a time when families are already grappling with overwhelming loss, they deserve peace of mind knowing that every aspect of their loved one’s passing is being handled with professionalism, respect, and a focus on health and safety. Biohazard cleaning isn’t just a service - it’s an essential part of the funeral industry, ensuring a safe, clean, and dignified transition for families throughout the country.

Alana x FuneralTimes | 37

More and more families are being bereaved by dementia W

orking in the funeral industry, you are probably meeting more and more families who have been bereaved

by Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. Prevalence of the disease has increased due to our ageing population, and yet dementia is not only a disease of old age.

Well-known actor, Anne-Marie Duff, recently shared the story of her brother Eddie, who lives with dementia, and who started displaying symptoms at just 40 years of age. Whatever age it strikes, dementia is a uniquely difficult, progressive illness that robs people and their families of so much. Losing someone to dementia has been described as a series of bereavements, with loved ones saying; ‘it’s like losing someone again and again.’

Dementia is one of the greatest challenges facing our society. In fact, it’s now the UK’s biggest killer. One in three people born today will develop dementia in their lifetime.

Alzheimer’s Society estimates that around 27,000 people are currently living with dementia in Northern Ireland. That number is set to increase by 50% by 2040,

meaning that more and more families across Northern Ireland will be affected.

If there is one thing to be grateful for, it is that as prevalence of the illness has increased, the stigma that used to surround it has lessened; and thanks to the tireless efforts of individuals and organisations across the country, families are more aware of the importance of getting a diagnosis and reaching out for help and support. However, one in three people living with dementia in Northern Ireland do not yet have a diagnosis and thousands are facing the devastating realities of dementia without access to the vital care and support that a diagnosis can bring.

Alzheimer’s Society offers a wide range of information and services to people who are worried about dementia, or who already have a diagnosis, helping them plan for the challenges ahead. We know that people find our website, helpline, support groups and dementia advisors a real lifeline during the most challenging period of their lives. We are the only UK dementia charity to provide support, campaign for change, and fund vital research – and it’s crucial that we can continue to put pressure on decision-makers to make dementia the priority it needs to be.

Worried or need support? Visit alzheimers. org.uk or email our Northern Ireland team on nir@alzheimers.org.uk. Call us during office hours on 028 9066 4100. Our UK-wide Dementia Support Line on 0333 150 3456 is open from 9am-8pm Monday - Wednesday, 9am-5pm Thursday & Friday and from 10am to 4pm on Saturdays and Sundays. No one should face dementia alone.

Want to donate? Alzheimer’s Society relies on voluntary donations to continue our vital work. You can donate now by calling 0330 333 0804 or visiting alzheimers.org.uk.

Through our own personal experience we received the inspiration to set up Treasured Keepsakes, to give people a wide variety of options upon a loved one’s passing should they choose to keep a lock of hair, cremated remains, a piece of jewellery, a photograph or anything that is a personal reminder of their loved one in a small keepsake, keepsake pendant or urn.

Funeral directors we are currently working with have tailored our service to suit their needs. We have two options of how our service can work for you. If you wish you can buy our products from us at a wholesale price and sell them directly to your clients. Alternatively we can offer this service to your clients directly.

We would hope that by recommending our service we will enhance and add value to your business at no extra cost to you.

For more information contact us or visit our website Tel: 01 825 4579 From NI: 00353 1 825 4579 info@treasuredkeepsakes.ie www.treasuredkeepsakes.ie

NIKRF Ambassador, Hannah Johns, is ready to compete in the Miss World final in India

5 Ma y 2024

SUPPORT

Renal nurse, Hannah Johns, who also happens to be Miss Northern Ireland, as well as our NIKRF Ambassador, is heading off to the final of the Miss World Competition in India in May. She plans to raise awareness of kidney disease on a global basis in the ‘Beauty with a Purpose ‘ section of the competition.

In preparation of her trip, we asked Hannah, what motivated her to compete in Miss World in the first place?

She told us, “Competing in Miss World Northern Ireland has been an opportunity for personal growth. It pushed me out of my comfort zone, allowing me to take on new challenges and expand my horizons. More importantly, I wanted to use the platform to

#TeamNIKidney at the Belfast City Marathon

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Miss World, I hope to bring shine a light on kidney disease, attention to the importance of which is a growing global kidney health and encourage health concern.

Email Susan people to take proactive steps As someone who Kee works(NIKRF Chair) susannikrf@outlook.com in managing their health.” directly with individuals affected by kidney disease, I’ve Everyone at Funeral Times seen how it can affect both would like to wish Hannah patients and their families. all the very best of luck!

By raising awareness through

For more information

NI Kidney Research Fund exhibit again at The Balmoral Show 2025 VISIT US

N

orthern Ireland Kidney Research fund are in the Eikon excited to be exhibiting at Shopping Village The Balmoral Show again this year, after their very successful times at the event previously.

Bella, the kidney cow, will from be roaming around the show 14th May grounds again, no doubt, still for more Wed Terms and conditions apply - please see website details. dreaming she will win the real https://nikidneyresearch.org/latest-articles/belfast-marathon-24/ Sat 17th May 2025 ‘Best in Show for Rare Breeds’!!

STAND 49

www.nikidneyresearch.org 40 | FuneralTimes

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New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Thomas, Jennie and Karen Curtis collect a new E Class 214 Hearse for Oliver Curtis & Sons serving Meath, Louth and Dublin

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Murty O’Neill & Sons Funeral Directors collect their new Mercedes E220 Hearse from Wilcox

W

ilcox Limousines is proud to supply Murty O’Neill & Sons Funeral Directors with their brandnew Mercedes E220d Hearse, further enhancing their distinguished fleet.

Based in Johnstownbridge, Enfield, Co. Meath, Murty O’Neill & Sons have built a strong reputation for providing compassionate and professional funeral services to their community.

With a deep commitment to

tradition and excellence, they continue to serve families with the highest level of care and dignity.

We would like to extend our sincere thanks to John and Declan O’Neill for their trust in Wilcox Limousines.

Their new Mercedes E220d Hearse combines timeless elegance with modern reliability, ensuring that their service remains at the highest standard.

Declan O’Neill collected

the vehicle from our Wigan factory, marking another milestone for Murty O’Neill & Sons as they continue to uphold their long-standing tradition of excellence.

Wilcox Limousines is honoured to support funeral professionals like Murty O’Neill & Sons with premium vehicles tailored to their needs.

Wishing them many years of exceptional service with their new Hearse.

Declan O’Neill collecting his new Mercedes Hearse

FuneralTimes | 43

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Preparation Room Insurance

By Rory McKeown You’re in good hands. You only pay for what youneed. Like a good neighbor. Flo. My personal favorite was Maxwell the pig.

We all know what these are. Insurance advertisements. Insurance adverts are out there because insurance is something we all need.

Whether it be for health, life, auto, that new boat, whatever. We want to be prepared for unexpected events. I wouldn’t back out of my driveway without auto insurance. You never know what can happen, so you want to be prepared.

The same thought of being prepared for whatever surprise may come could be applied to your prep room. During my time as a trade embalmer, I came across situations where the funeral home might not have had the chemicals or supplies needed for a particular case. Like insurance, it is better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it! Nothing is more frustrating than needing something and not having it while doing our best to prepare the body.

These are items beyond what most embalmers would have available in the prep room, like a line of arterial chemicals they prefer, necessary instruments, accessory chemicals, co-injection chemicals, etc. The basics. There are several chemicals and supplies that are good insurance to have, beyond the basics, that can really make a difference when needed.

Action Powder I love this stuff. Great on ulcerations and any area where moisture may be an issue. If I’m going to be using plastic garments on the individual, I will normally also use a generous amount of Action in the genital area. It can be 46 | FuneralTimes

used on decomposition cases where not only will the chemical help continue to embalm the body, but will also cover any possible odor.

Action can be used in autopsy and donor cases instead of Viscerock FF. Use it as a treatment for floaters and putrefied cases. I use Action along with Hardening Compound and DodgeSorb when embalming and reconstructing donor cases. For ship out cases, a liberal sprinkling of Action is added protection when used in plastic garments.

Basic Dryene Basic Dryene is my go-to for several different treatments. For skin slip, a wrap of Webril cotton soaked in Basic Dryene will cauterize and bleach the tissue within a short while, making that area dry and cauterized for future treatment.

On hematomas, Dryene can be injected under the affected area to bleach the discoloration.

This treatment will be more effective if performed prior to embalming, although good results can also still be achieved many times post-embalming. A small covering of the area with a piece of Webril soaked in Dryene will further bleach the discoloration. Dryene can be used to bleach discoloration of the eyes caused by trauma, but a good coating of Kalon Massage Cream should be used to protect any surrounding area from accidentally being bleached. A small cotton swab used a few times on the affected area will be helpful, without over-bleaching or drying the tissue.

Any areas of trauma that will need to be addressed can be dried and cauterized with a treatment of Basic Dryene. I like to swab the entire excised edges of the scalp after a cranial

autopsy to be sure the tissue to be sutured is well embalmed and dry. Any small lacerations can be dried easily with a treatment of Basic Dryene, then either glued or sutured depending on the case.

The phenol in Basic Dryene makes it excellent for killing Clostridium. Inject it hypodermically into the tissue, as well as the cranial cavity, to stop tissue gas.

Edemaco Edemaco is definitely an insurance plan. When we have a case with severe edema, success or failure often depends on the amount of edema the embalmer can take away from the swollen features. Simply using Epsom salts will not achieve the results Edemaco provides. Arterial injection of Edemaco will help in dropsical cases, as well as when used as an addition to viscera treatment of autopsy cases. Good results on a severely edematous body can be achieved with a stronger waterless solution with the addition of Edemaco.

Restorative Most prep rooms have some type of humectant chemical on hand for emaciated cases.

Restorative goes far beyond simply being a humectant. Arterially injected, Restorative will control dehydration and moisturize from within.

It will rebuild the tissue and restore cellular hydration. It will also help stimulate drainage and increase arterial diffusion. Topically, Restorative is excellent for dehydrated eyes, lips, and facial features. Use it during the embalming process to moisturize facial features and prevent dry skin and cradle cap.

It’s excellent for shaving. Restorative can be injected into the fingertips to plump for fingerprints as well as for cosmetic effect.

Introfiant I include Introfiant here over other arterial chemicals due to it’s superior effectiveness on more difficult cases. I have an old Dodge chemical information flyer, from the early 1950’s I’m guessing. The title is “Introfiant: An Arterial Chemical for Special Cases of Difficult Types.” In the summary of the pamphlet it states, “Again, we should like to emphasize that Introfiant Arterial Chemical is designed for certain types of difficult cases. It might well be

termed, in fact, an accessory chemical.”

Today, more than ever before, many cases are what we would consider difficult, often due to time delays from time of death to preparation.

Medical advancements meant for life prolonging only add to some of the difficulties embalmers encounter. For refrigerated bodies, bodies experiencing effects of trauma, it halts putrefaction, treats gangrene effectively, and can turn a case from questionable to well preserved. When used on autopsied remains, Introfiant delivers definite firmness without dehydrating the tissue. Introfiant is also good for use in higher concentrations on edema cases. While Introfiant is normally thought of as a chemical for difficult cases, it is widely used today as the “go to chemical” for embalmers who desire definite preservation and disinfection.

The trifecta of Introfiant is its ability to aid in diffusion and penetration, its preservative, drying, and disinfecting qualities, and its ability to control dehydration. On a donor case, an autopsy, or a ship out case, Introfiant is a quality chemical to meet preservation demands of the most difficult kinds.

Dryene II Gel When it comes to cauterizing large areas of raw tissue such as in a tissue or organ donor restoration or autopsy treatment, Dryene II Gel is truly a superior product. Easily brushed on, it’s a thin gel, and phenol and formaldehyde – free. Dryene II Gel has outstanding cauterizing qualities and is comfortable to work with, and is fast acting.

Cellulose Absorbent Sheets with Rubber Backing These are a game changer when it comes to donor cases where skin procurement was involved. These sheets can be cut to size for the given application and either taped or sutured directly to the body. On skin donors, after the area has been thoroughly embalmed, and a coating of cauterant chemical or embalming powder has been applied to the raw tissue, the cellulose pad is then applied to cover the area.

This not only helps prevent any leakage but keeps the cauterant chemical in direct contact with the tissue. The use of Dryene II Gel in conjunction with the cellulose pads give extra FuneralTimes | 47

protection as well as continued preservation of the tissue.

Hypo Trocar With donor cases and autopsy cases, hypodermic treatment of the tissue is essential.

Since normally the vascular system has been disrupted in a donor case, aside from the head and hands, much of the embalmer’s work will be hypodermic. Any slip of muscle or tissue must be thoroughly preserved and the only way to accomplish that is through hypodermic injection. Applying embalming gels or powders is certainly encouraged to treat the outside of a piece of tissue, but chemical needs to saturate the tissue being treated to ensure complete preservation. Either tissue is embalmed or it’s not, and topical application of chemicals will only penetrate to a certain depth of the tissue being treated. The areas behind the neck and shoulders can be reached with the Hypo Trocar to ensure preservation of this area after an autopsy or tissue donation. Preservation of the sidewalls of the abdomen can easily be achieved with hypodermic treatment.

Seven Cord Waxed Thread I like the seven cord waxed linen because it’s strong enough for heavy duty application such as a donor or autopsy case, but can be separated into two or three cords for finer work such as facial lacerations and restoration.

Sharp Suture Needles Have you ever felt like you’re trying to push a butter knife through a football? How many entries through the skin do we have on a full post long bone donor case? Having sharp suture needles can make a major difference in a big job like that.

Gathering Forceps If I have an autopsy case or a donor case, along with all the standard forceps, aspirator, and cannulas, I’ll take out as many gathering forceps as possible. The use of gathering forceps can make a longhaul suturing operation cleaner and easier. If the abdomen on an autopsy case is going to be a tight suture, gathering the tissue together every three or four inches will help ensure we don’t need to pull our suture to the breaking point.

For me, they’re invaluable on long bone donor 48 | FuneralTimes

reconstruction. With thirty or forty inches of suture on the legs from the ankle to above the hip, it’s easy to take inconsistent sections of tissue with the suture needles, and over a few inches we find more skin left on one side than the other. Then I end up needing to take a much larger area on one side to end our suture evenly.

Using gathering forceps every six inches or so eliminates any problem with proper alignment over long areas of work. Keeping the working end of the forceps toward the direction you’re suturing from helps keep the suture from getting caught up in the handle end. Using several of the gathering forceps on a long bone donor and placing them in a row, the embalmer can just take the front forceps and move it to the rear as the suturing proceeds.

Gathering forceps are helpful if there is a need to realign the sutured area. A tattoo should be realigned as closely as possible if the donation incision or autopsy incision bisects the tattoo.

In addition to aligning the tissue, I want to be sure that I can close the incision completely to make it dry and leakproof. On a long bone donor, I will use the long DodgeSorb insert pads, along with a mixture of DodgeSorb as well as Viscerock FF. As I’m progressing, I’ll use Q-S as a final sealant. I’ve found myself on a few occasions needing to use the gathering forceps to pull the areas together since I really packed the area full.

Heat Spatula/Tissue Reducer When fine restoration is required, a heat spatula can be a huge asset in the prep room. Small lines can be reduced or large areas of wrinkled tissue can often be made smooth with the application of a heat spatula. As always, care needs to be taken around delicate areas such as eyelashes and eyebrows. Liberal amounts of Kalon Massage Cream should always be used in conjunction with a heat spatula. Finesse is the key.

Feature Builder Firming Aside from the obvious application of building tissue, Feature Builder Firming can help bleach and embalm cyanotic fingertips. It’s excellent for stopping IV leaks, too. Simply inject Feature Builder Firming into the area of the leak and inject as the needle is pulled out to prevent

leaks. The formaldehyde will preserve the tissue and the gelling action will stop the leakage.

Also, it’s the final step in plumping and building facial features on an emaciated case.

Heavy Compound Injector This is an invaluable tool when it comes to application of Inr-Seel when working on facial restoration of an emaciated body. I’m quite sloppy when it comes to trying to fill the mouth with Inr-Seel using a spatula. The Heavy Compound Injector has the ability to get deep into the mouth, all the way up to the lip line with the applicator tip. Facial features can then be molded to best recreate the features of the deceased. This method of setting features is far superior to using cotton since we can add or remove the filler as needed. Additionally, InrSeel won’t dehydrate the inside of the mouth like cotton will.

Halt GX With the production of Halt GX and Halt Cavity we’ve taken a huge step toward effective embalming when it comes to bacterial cases, and tissue gas cases in particular. Halt GX is a coinjection specifically formulated to stop tissue gas completely. Halt can be used on any case where there is suspicion of bacterial invasion such as drowning, road rash, abdominal injuries, or recent surgeries. Use any time distension of tissue or bubbling of the tissue or blood drainage is present.

Halt GX is effective when injected hypodermically and arrests gas production immediately. Halt Cavity has all the properties of Halt GX in a 21 index cavity chemical.

While it’s not always possible to foresee what challenges may present themselves on any given day, if we have the insurance plan we can be prepared for whatever that may be. As your prep room insurance advisor, I recommend insurance for a full post, long bone donor, ship out with a two week hold!

Just like a good neighbor, Dodge is there to help you make all the difference!

If you would like to be added to the mailing list for the complementary Dodge Magazine which is printed quarterly or would like to discuss any of the products mentioned in this article, please contact us on the number below: Shepherds Funeral Supplies, Unit 2A Royal Canal Business Park, Athlone Road, Co. Longford. Ph. 00353 43 33 49702/ 00353 87 2486668

Rory has been a licensed funeral director and embalmer for over 30 years. Since 2013, Rory has served as a sales representative with Dodge, covering Arizona, Colorado and New Mexico. Rory spent much of his funeral directing and embalming career in the Chicago area.

SOCIAL Eimer Duffy FIT MEDIA • Social Media Consultant and Trainer at FIT Social Media • Providing bespoke online solutions for Funeral Professionals

• Helping Funeral Directors gain a better online presence, building communities and trust online

For more information on what Eimer provides, visit: www.fitsocialmedia.co.uk or Email: eimer@fitsocialmedia.co.uk FuneralTimes | 49

Saif News Saif News SAIF delivers day of education for NI funeral directors Independent funeral directors from across Northern Ireland gathered at the Europa Hotel on 8th March for SAIF’s first Education Day of 2025.

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he packed event, which was sponsored by Golden Charter, Obitus and WJ Kenyon, offered delegates an opportunity to learn about the trade association’s important work supporting members in areas such as regulation, marketing and funeral plans.

Attendees were also briefed on initiatives such as SAIF Women in Business, a new group dedicated to empowering female funeral directors, and SAIF Digital, which is equipping members with knowledge and tools to make the most of modern technology to market their businesses.

On top of this, there was an update on the Society’s independent funeral costs report, which is challenging research by over 50s life insurance companies and helping consumers to better understand the price of saying goodbye to a loved one.

Among the speakers were SAIF CEO Terry Tennens, who brought the meeting up to speed on the Fuller Inquiry into mortuary abuse

Terry Tennens, Saif CEO addresses the room 50 | FuneralTimes

Sean Gallagher, Lighthouse representative and discussed details of the various benefits available to members, such as SAIFInsure, SAIFCare and SAIF Support.

Additionally, Joseph Murren, who serves as SAIF’s Government Liaison Officer in Scotland, gave an overview of regulation, covering

Join the association that’s leading the way.

Representing and promoting the interests of over 1,500 funeral homes.

SAIF is at the forefront of tackling the big industry issues that matter to you.

As the united voice of independent funeral directors we have led the way in setting the highest standards of professionalism and conduct within the industry. By joining SAIF you too can demonstrate that you uphold this same commitment.

For over 30 years SAIF has been promoting and protecting the interests and values of independent funeral directors. Supporting our members is at the heart of everything we do, listening, responding and engaging to secure your independent future.

Join SAIF now: visit saif.org.uk or call us on 0345 230 6777 or 01279 726777

Holyrood’s newly enforceable Funeral Director Code of Practice and the prospect of licensing for funeral businesses.

However, one of the most impactful and fascinating sessions came in the form of Sean Gallagher’s talk on a 2024 Harvard report into posttraumatic stress in mortuary workers.

Sean, who represents Lighthouse, a suicide prevention charity in Northern Ireland, told the audience how mortuary staff are exposed to trauma not just from handling and preparation of the deceased; but can also experience stress from their dealings with the bereaved.

For those interested in reading the report, it can be accessed here: https://dash.harvard. edu/entities/publication/9e8d5243-95e64227-9328-47fb63e07165 Following Sean’s talk, Golden Charter Business Development Manager Simon Pearson took to the stage to give an update on funeral plans.

This included market intelligence on consumer shifts in attitudes and choices when purchasing prepaid funeral plans.

Declan Maguire, SAIF’s National President

Joseph Murren, SAIF’s Government Liaison Officer in Scotland There were also presentations by funeral marketing specialist Karen Trickett, funeral law expert Neil Harrison and Jim Parker, from Newtownabbey Crematorium.

The day was capped with an informal evening dinner at the hotel.

Karen Trickett, Funeral marketing specialist

Phil Cook, Obitus

Become part of the UK’s biggest independent funeral director movement

S

AIF membership continues to grow and if you’re thinking about joining please visit the SAIF website https://saif.org.uk/why-joinsaif/, or call the SAIF Business Centre on 0345 230 6777 for further information.

Remember, if you are a SAIF funeral director 52 | FuneralTimes

then you can also sign up free of charge to Slack. This is a messaging application that creates connections across the SAIF membership, enabling businesses to share best practices and receive SAIF updates. Please email info@saif.org.uk if you have not yet registered.

CASSIDY CHAUFFEUR DRIVE

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Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke

Compassionate care and support At Northern Ireland Chest Heart & Stroke (NICHS) we offer a wide range of care and support services for people living with chest, heart and stroke conditions. Our Care Services team works with people throughout Northern Ireland, along with their families and carers.

Our Care services and programmes include: • Family Support Service - this service is here to support people and their families as they navigate life with a chest, heart or stroke condition. This involves an initial home visit through which we can offer practical and emotional support and find out more about an individual’s circumstances.

From there, we can provide personalised advice and support plans.

• Post Rehab Exercise Programme (PREP) - PREP is a physiotherapy led, community-based course which helps rebuild people’s lives and confidence after stroke through exercise and education. It is designed for stroke survivors, who have completed the statutory rehabilitation provided by the NHS to meet their longer-term care needs.

• Breathing Better Education Programme - this programme is for anyone with a long-term chest condition which covers topics including medications, physical activity, adopting 54 | FuneralTimes

healthy habits, sleep and moving forward well.

• Heart Strong Education Programme - this education and peer support programme is offered to those who have had a diagnosis of a heart condition. This programme is designed to help participants to learn more about their health and take the positive steps needed to move forward post diagnosis.

• Taking Control Self Management Programme - if you are living with a long-term chest, heart or stroke condition, this programme provides a range of skills which will help you to manage your condition better and improve your confidence. It also connects people with similar conditions, who understand

what it’s like to live with a long–term condition.

• Wellness Sessions - these sessions are delivered across NI and focus on secondary prevention, health promotion, physical activity, and emotional wellbeing.

They offer peer support and reduce social isolation.

• Support for Carers - our carers support programmes offer a range of services which are tailored to meet the unique needs of individuals providing care to someone with a chest, heart or stroke condition.

For further information on our range of Care services, visit www.nichs.org.uk/ support or call us on 028 9032 0184.

The British Institute of Funeral Directors Certificate and Diploma in funeral service accredited by Greenwich University Elevate your career in Funeral Service with the British Institute of Funeral Directors

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re you ready to take your passion for compassionate care to the next level? The British Institute of Funeral Directors is proud to present its prestigious Certificate and Diploma in Funeral Service, a comprehensive residential course designed for individuals looking to excel in this vital profession. Set against the picturesque backdrop of Warwickshire, this programme is scheduled over several weekends throughout the year, ensuring a flexible learning environment that accommodates your busy lifestyle.

This university-level qualification, accredited

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is a testament to the high standards of education and professional development offered by the British Institute of Funeral Directors. With a curriculum that combines theoretical knowledge with practical skills, you will gain invaluable insights into the intricacies of funeral service, from legal considerations to emotional support for grieving families.

What sets this programme apart?

• Weekend sessions will be the main part of the learning programme in a classroom • Participants will benefit from additional interactive Zoom meetings, providing ongoing support and fostering a sense

of community among fellow learners.

• This hybrid approach ensures that you can fully immerse yourself in your studies while balancing your personal and professional commitments.

• The British Institute of Funeral Directors offers the highest level of qualification accredited by Greenwich University.

By enrolling in the British Institute of Funeral Director’s Certificate in Funeral Service and then the Diploma in Funeral Service, you are investing in a rewarding career that makes a meaningful difference in people’s lives.

Join us in shaping the future of funeral service.

Enquire today and embark on a journey of knowledge, empathy, professionalism and a full qualification in the funeral service profession.

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MEMORIAL CHARMS MEANINGFUL GIFTS FOR CLIENTS, FAMILIES AND FRIENDS Tel. 00353 (0)85 247 3842 email: busybeaders2013@gmail.com Instagram: busybeaders_ www.busybeaders.com FuneralTimes | 55

From Undertaker to the big screen Vincent Murphy from McCarthy’s Publican and Undertaker’s, Fethard, Co. Tipperary had a chat one night with Writers and Directors Anne Williamson and Brian Clancy from the Fionn Mac Cumhaill Theatre Group and ended up on the big screen.

E

stablished by Michael McCarthy in the 1840’s, McCarthy’s Hotel provided the services of a spirit merchant, restaurant, hotel, undertaker, draper, grocer, baker, hackney service, glass, delph and china shop and if you still couldn’t get what you want-hire a few horses to take you elsewhere.

Continuing in this tradition, the present proprietor Vincent (Jasper) Murphy, fifth generation, has a pub, restaurant and undertaking business which service the Fethard and surrounding regions, which he runs with his family.

Vincent read History and English in UCD and places great importance on the stories about the area. Anne and Brian told him about their film project about Bridget Cleary, the woman who was burned as a changeling or witch in rural Tipperary in 1895. The story became known as

“The last Witch burning in Ireland”. Anne and Brian, in their film, were determined to restore the good name of Bridget which had been tarnished by her husband who murdered her.

Jasper loved their story and asked if he could write a piece about it. They agreed and he sent his story to Ireland’s Own who liked it and gave him a cover story.

Anne and Brian then asked him if he would play a part in the film. He said yes to a walk on part, but ended up with a small speaking part as a priest riding a horse, something he hadn’t done since he was a child.

“You’ll be grand”, said Anne.

And he didn’t fall off - so he was!

The film “Bridget” did well, selling out at every venue that it played in. It is now being entered in short film competitions around the World.

Filming on location

Vincent Murphy plays Fr. Con Ryan in the film

56 | FuneralTimes

Cork man buried in his own private burial ground One of the most impressive and unusual funerals ever took place recently of the late Great Willie Kingston of Ballymountain North, Innishannon, Co. Cork.

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ot everybody can say that they own their own Church and private Burial Ground, but then Willie Kingston was no ordinary man.

Willie was one of nature’s true Gentleman, who transformed his home farm of over 100 acres from agricultural land to a magical Jurassic Park type of environment.

The whole idea is an absolute credit to the man himself, he created a Wonderland that had to be seen to believed, every step you take, takes half an hour as so much is to be seen and understood. Apart from the woods, the walks, the beach, the animals, the ornaments, etc. Willie created eleven manmade lakes, every one more beautiful than the next, but the flagship has to be the Island on one of the lakes where he built his own Church for himself and his dear wife Patricia.

The peace and tranquillity of this amazing place can never be described on paper. It is really heaven on earth, and this lifelong ‘Labour of Love’ was now going to receive Willie and

look after him as he had always looked after it.

As the hearse arrived in Ballymountain North, it was met at the entrance to Willie’s ‘Magical Kingdom’ by all his friends and neighbours who transferred the coffin from the hearse to Willie’s own vintage carriage, all the neighbours pulled and pushed (no horse) the carriage up the driveway to the entrance to Willie’s lifelong ‘Labour of Love’. From there, he was shouldered to his very own ‘sacred space’ his own Church, and what a Church, it is situated on a manmade Island in the middle of a man-made lake with access via a narrow metal walkway, and what a place for Willie to repose. The friends and neighbours stayed up all night for the Wake, and of course, some paid a visit to the nearby ‘Shebeen’ which was open all night for refreshments.

By all accounts, it wasn’t the first time it stayed open all night, as Willie played host to many a good party in that establishment which was accessible by another bridge. Unbelievable stuff!

Friends and neighbours gather at the church

Reposing in his church

58 | FuneralTimes

The church Willie built for himself and his wife on one of his manmade lakes

The next day was Sunday, a beautiful sunny afternoon perfect to suit the occasion, where crowds gathered to pay their final respects to Willie while musicians were playing on the patio type pontoon in the middle of the lake, the sound of music echoing all over the woods, people were in mourning, as well as all the animals, birds and swans and all the other wildlife.

Shortly after 4pm, Willie began his final journey led by Piper Dan Lane over the bridge and stopped in the middle of the bridge for a few minutes to hear the bell of his own Church ring out for the last time, and the two swans formed a Guard of Honour as a mark of respect to their ‘Master’.

Onwards, he was shouldered through the

forest, passing all the trees that he knew by name and it looked like the trees themselves were forming a Guard of Honour and all the various creations that he built and eventually to his own burial ground which was his own creation. The national flag hanging high on a proper flagpole hung at half mast, as did the Cork flag of red and white, again this part of Willie’s kingdom was amazing, from the round tower, to the underground shelter and many more too numerous to mention.

He was interred to the sound of music, laughter and plenty of whiskey, all of which played such an important part of his life.

May he Rest in Peace in the place that he loved.

FuneralTimes | 59

Fields of Memory - By Ian Fee Celebrant Lakelands Funeral Home & Crematorium, Cavan

Seventeen of my twenty-three years in Church ministry were spent in one parish, an unusually long period, especially for a curate. When, year after year, my name didn’t appear in the annual clerical changes, the other priests joked that the bishop must have forgotten about me, or that my name must be missing from the list of clergy in his diocese.

Truth be told, it was a blessing to be there for so long and, in a strange but welcome twist of fate, I find myself back living there now with my wife and family. My house at the time was right beside the church and the accompanying cemetery. The view from my kitchen and bedroom was of the ever-expanding graveyard and some visitors would comment that it made for a somewhat morbid vista. I never found that to be the case, though. Outside of Mass times, it was a quiet place to live, and many an evening I’d take a walk up through the rows of graves, reading the names and dates, taking in the stillness of my neighbours’ resting place. Far from being morbid, it was a comforting reminder of the circle of life, the graves of many in the shadow of the church in which they’d been baptised or wed. Having that gentle reminder that all things end and that our communities have always looked to provide,

60 | FuneralTimes

not just a place of rest but a place of memorial is very consoling. These fields of memory are dotted around the country and around the world in one way or another, each culture and tradition marking not just that their loved ones have died but, more importantly, that they lived.

My work now as a celebrant is to tell that story, the story of a life, celebrating all that happened between the two dates that are inscribed on the headstone. My work extends to weddings and naming ceremonies as well, and my role there is the same: celebrating a life story that is just beginning, or a love story as it starts a new and wonderful chapter. Each headstone in the cemetery is a tale unto itself, however long or short it may be. Those who marked and mourned their passing may now be long gone themselves, and the details may have faded from our recollection, but the communal act of remembering is vital to who we are as a people. The names and dates may have been erased by the wind and rain, even the headstone itself may be eroded or broken, but it’s there. For all of us involved in funeral services, using our skills, professionalism and respect to ensure a dignified farewell, we play our part, marking the final chapter of a unique story.

Crematorium, Facilities and Remembrance Garden Memorial Keepsakes

Lakelands Crematorium, Dublin Rd, Cavan, Co. Cavan Tel: 049 4362200 / Mob: 086 2458489 Email: info@LakelandsCrematorium.ie www.LakelandsCrematorium.ie

Season S eason 5

The G Glam Reaper Podcast P Podc odc cast a 02.44

CODE: FTIMES

Jennifer Muldowney is an International event planner for memorials based in the United States of America. Known as The Glam Reaper, Jennifer blends her extensive education in business, communications, and bereavement with a passion for modern memorial planning. As an award-winning memorial planner and speaker, she has made a significant international impact in the funeral space, advocating for personalised, and environmentally conscious funerals and digital legacies. Check out her Tedx Talk ‘Grief as Unique as your Heartbeat’ and ‘The Glam Reaper Podcast’ or Muldowney Memorials (.com) to learn more.

By Jennifer Muldowney

Bridget Jones and grief: Love, loss, and moving forward (with wine, of course) For many, Bridget Jones is a familiar character charming, chaotic, and always managing to find humor in life’s messiest moments. But in Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy, she takes on something far more important: grief.

This latest installment sees Bridget navigating widowhood, single parenthood, and the uncertain path of rebuilding a life after profound loss.

For fans of the franchise, the absence of Mark Darcy (yes, that Mark Darcy) is a gut punch. The loss of Colin Firth’s beloved character casts a long shadow over the film, much like grief does in real life. But in true Bridget fashion, this isn’t a story solely about sorrow - it’s about resilience, missteps, and finding ways to

move (or fall!) forward, even when you feel like standing still.

As Irish funeral directors, you know all too well that grief is rarely neat or predictable. We see families grappling with loss in many ways - some lean on tradition, others on humor, and some, like Bridget, take an unconventional path, making mistakes along the way. Mad About the Boy captures this reality in a way few films do.

Bridget is no longer just the fumbling, love-struck singleton of her 30s. She is now a widow, a mother, and a woman forced to navigate a world that looks entirely different without the love of her life. Her grief isn’t just about tears and heartbreak; it’s about those small, unexpected moments that catch us off guard - the

awkward conversations, the flirty texts sent too soon, and the moments of laughter that feel almost inappropriate but are entirely necessary.

In funeral service, we often talk about the importance of personalizing memorials and acknowledging that there is no singular “right way” to grieve. This film reinforces that message beautifully.

Bridget’s journey reminds us that healing is not linear. It can involve reflection, laughter, mistakes, and, yes, even a bit of wine.

More importantly, Mad About the Boy gives grief something that is often missing from mainstream storytelling - permission. Permission to feel a mix of emotions, to find joy in unexpected places, and to move forward at one’s own pace. It does FuneralTimes | 63

for grief what Bridget Jones’s Diary once did for single women in their 30s: it makes it okay to not have everything figured out.

For those of us who work with grieving families, this film offers a refreshing and authentic portrayal of loss. It doesn’t romanticize it, nor does it reduce it to

64 | FuneralTimes

constant sorrow. Instead, it acknowledges the contradictions of grief - how we can cry one moment and laugh the next, how memories can be both a comfort and a burden, and how moving forward doesn’t mean forgetting.

So, whether you’ve experienced loss yourself or

simply appreciate a story that treats grief with both humor and heart, Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy is worth watching. It reminds us of what we already know in funeral service - grief is as unique as the person experiencing it.

And sometimes, the best way forward is with a toast to the past and a hopeful eye on the future.

HUGG: Supporting those bereaved by suicide In the wake of losing a loved one to suicide, the journey through grief can feel overwhelming and isolating. Many people find that their experience is difficult for others to understand, even among well-meaning friends and family. That’s where HUGG comes in to provide essential support and connection.

Who We Are HUGG was founded in 2017

by Fiona Tuomey, who lost her 11 year old daughter, Milly, to suicide. HUGG is now the national suicide bereavement charity.

At HUGG, we believe in the power of shared experience.

By bringing people together who have endured similar pain, we aim to provide comfort, hope, and in time, the strength to move forward.

What We Do HUGG provides ‘Suicide Postvention’ services. These are initiatives and activities designed specifically to reduce risk after a suicide occurs and in time to promote hope and healing.

HUGG’s services include: • Information and resources on grief after a suicide • Signposting to additional support services • Telephone support • Suicide bereavement support groups led by trained volunteers with a lived experience of suicide loss

• Public events and webinars • Research & Advocacy • Amplify the lived voice in bereavement services HUGG Suicide Bereavement Support Groups If you or someone you know has been bereaved by suicide, HUGG suicide bereavement support groups are here to help. This group provides a welcoming and safe space to connect with others who have experienced a similar loss.

To join a support group, simply fill out the form on our website www.HUGG. ie, or email support@HUGG. ie or call us at 01 513 4048. A member of our team will get in touch with you to discuss your needs and help you get started.

Support HUGG’s Work As a charity, HUGG relies on the generosity of individuals, businesses, and communities to fund our services. Your support allows us to reach more people, expand our peer support groups, and develop new resources to help those

bereaved by suicide.

If you’d like to support HUGG, you can donate through our website. Every contribution, no matter the size, helps us to continue our work and extend a lifeline to those in need.

Together, We Can Make a Difference Grieving the loss of a loved one to suicide is a unique and deeply personal journey, but it doesn’t have to be one you face alone. HUGG exists to provide hope, understanding, and connection to anyone impacted by suicide.

If you or someone you know needs support, please don’t hesitate to reach out.

Visit our website HUGG. ie, email support@HUGG. ie or call us at 01 513 4048 (monitored answering machine).

HUGG, hope and healing after suicide FuneralTimes | 65

New Delivery - Quinn Hearse and Limousine

Anthony Reidy and Pat Kiely met with Fearghas Quinn to take delivery of their new E Class 3 Door Hearse bound for Newcastle West

At Dirty Harry’s Specialist Cleaning Services NI we understand the unique challenges that, come with cleaning extreme situations. We are dedicated to delivering professional and thorough cleaning services while being mindful of the emotional circumstances associated with these situations. We pride ourselves in providing a compassionate approach to our work and ensuring the best possible results for our clients.

What we do: • Trauma and Crime Scene Cleans • Hoarders Cleans • Sharps / Needle surveys, collections and disposals Why Choose us: • We are trained and certified • We are fully insured • We are licensed waste carriers

Contact us on: 07570 596753 E: norman.allen@dirtyharryscleaningni.co.uk www.dirtyharryscleaningni.co.uk 68 | FuneralTimes

40 years of dedicated service and memories in Fermoy

By James Ronayne It is with gratitude and humility I embrace this special landmark in the business aspect of my life, we have been most fortunate through the years because of the support given by so many families for so many different areas who have engaged our services in their time of need, when all this began the thought of looking forward forty years was impossible as I had no idea if the venture would be successful or not, at that time there were three other Funeral Directors in Fermoy. I have so many to be thankful to for the success of this business which I will tell you more about here.

On a frosty Saturday morning (February 29th at 7.30.pm. that evening, I was the owner of P. leap year) in 1984 Ronayne Funeral Director’s Verling Funeral Director Business. There was no began its existence with an Advert appearing one more flabbergasted than the new owner to in the then “Cork Examiner” and “The Avondhu actually own the business. During the following Press” announcing its commencement. It is forty week Maurice arranged a loan for me, I paid years ago since that announcement, doesn’t Mrs. Verling and moved the Hearse, coffins and seem anything like it, but it is and how life has stock to Castlelyons and officially commenced changed so much in that time, especially the business on Saturday February 29th. I was so way funerals are conducted. It all happened by proud that I was to continue Paddy Verling’s chance and the help of a very good friend. On funeral business, proud but scared, and deeply Saturday evening February 22nd while working indebted to Maurice Barry. at Kenny’s Bar Castlelyons and chatting to Paddy Verling was a Castlelyons native from a Maurice Barry I happened upon an advert in the farming background coming from a large family Cork Examiner “Funeral Business of thirteen he had a Hackney for Sale in Fermoy apply to Mrs. Car in Castlelyons, he then met Geraldine Verling” included Geraldine Bartley of Fermoy, was a telephone number. I they married, and he moved to told Maurice it was a business Fermoy. In 1959 with his wife I would like to have; his reply Geraldine, they founded the was why don’t you call that funeral business P. Verling and number! I laughed, such a notion managed it from their shop, and was well outside my financial home on Patrick Street where ability, and I told him so, never one could purchase fruit, loose let money get in the way was biscuits, mixed tobacco and his reply, call Mrs. Verling we Peterson Briar Pipes, along with can get the money later! And admiring the awesome nodding so, I made that call. The two Santa in the shop window every Paddy & Geraldine Verling of us went to Mrs. Verling and Christmas. I had memories FuneralTimes | 69

The team at Roynane Funeral Directors - Killian Smith, James Ronayne, Mick Kelleher & Oliver Lillis of Paddy Verling as a child and teenager and older because as they used to say “he buried all belong to me” my grandparents, granduncles and aunts, neighbours etc. In Castlelyons if Paddy Verling didn’t bury you, well you weren’t buried properly. A very successful team they became managing a very successful business together for many years until Paddy’s untimely death. Mrs. Verling continued to manage the Funeral Directors Firm single handedly as her family Katherine, Richard and Nora were still quite young, then in 1984 she felt the time was right to part with that aspect of her life and so the advert appeared ‘Funeral Business for Sale’.

When the sale was agreed Mrs. Verling said she was so pleased that she was selling to someone from Castlelyons who would continue the Funeral Directing business. Also, she told me of her husband Paddy confiding in my uncle Jackie Ronayne before he commenced and that it was Jackie who fitted out all the area at the rear of the shop for them to house the hearse, store and display coffins, fit a pully system to upstairs and an office, a wonderful connection and sense of continuity for both of us.

The following weeks were anxious and full of thoughts such as “what have I done”! The thoughts of paying back the loan and other thoughts of managing the funeral business occupied my night-time hours, but within a few weeks my first funeral came in the Parish of Rathcormac, a great source of relief to me and fear of not getting it right, and so it was it had begun. In those early days arranging a funeral was completely different from today.

The death of a loved one back then, whether in 70 | FuneralTimes

hospital or at home prompted a telephone call to the Priest then the Undertaker or calling to the Undertakers premises, not everyone had a telephone then.

Matters discussed were choosing a coffin, the colour of The Habit, blue, white or brown, what Church, what cemetery/graveyard, a death notice on The Cork Examiner, The Priest, candles and possibly, but not very often then, wreaths (which were mostly plastic in dome shaped Perspex like covering). Preparation of the deceased took place at the hospital if the person died in hospital and if the person died at home some neighbours who usually were called on in any given area to do this honourable work of mercy laying out the dead in preparation for The Wake - sometimes we were called on to lay out the deceased this was always considered an honour and a blessing by whoever was asked. Embalming had as yet not become common place. The Priest & Gravediggers were contacted usually by the family and funeral times agreed, the Undertaker usually paid the gravediggers, sacristan and altar servers, paying the Priest was a decision for the family, most funerals then would have at least two Priests in attendance sometimes much more, the collecting of Mass Cards in the Church for the deceased given by family, neighbours and friends was the Undertaker’s remit after the Mass and passing them to the family sometimes up to 100 or more Mass cards was regular at any funeral and many more were given to the family. Blessed beeswax candles for The Wake were sometimes supplied by the Undertaker or otherwise purchased at a local

shop, Soloist and Organists were yet to come into vogue for funerals. A coffin pad is and was supplied by the undertaker, it was placed on top of the coffin before it was lowered into the grave, today its use is more of tradition as its original use was when graves were filled in while prayers were still continuing in the cemetery with the crowd present and its purpose was to dull the sound of the earth on the coffin.

In the early days I operated the business from home, so families came to meet me there.

Funerals were usually a three-day event, the day of the death and wake if they died at home, next day the removal to the Church and the third day the Mass and burial. Rosaries were said at The Wakes or at a removal from a hospital, there was no specific time or evening for a Rosary, this later developed with the onset of funeral homes. Removals from hospitals were from their mortuaries, a small room adjacent to or in the vicinity of the hospital specifically for this purpose and were usually very well presented. Locally in Fermoy the use of the mortuary at St. Patrick’s Community Hospital was replaced by the use of the Hospital Chapel for rosaries and removals under the stewardship of Sr. Patricia Duggan Matron at the time, a beautiful setting which was used by all funeral directors for many years regardless of where a person had died.

In 2008 an opportunity arose to open a Funeral Home when a property became vacant at 75 Lower Patrick Street Fermoy belonging to the late Teddy O’Connor, an agreement was reached and after quite an amount of internal reconstruction and decoration the Funeral Home opened in 2008. It is a very easily accessible with plenty of car parking adjacent to it and it wasn’t until the Funeral Home opened that I realized the asset it was to be. The goodwill from the business community in Fermoy when I opened was something I will never forget and appreciate always as they called to wish me every success in my new venture, also the same sentiments from family, friends and colleagues, these gestures I will forever hold dear.

Funerals were changing in Ireland on several fronts, cremation was becoming more in demand but the off-putting aspect was the fact that the nearest crematorium was in Dublin, this added a lot of stress to the family

as everything had to be arranged around the time of the cremation including the journey and time required to get to Mount Jerome Crematorium in Dublin pre-motorway. Then in late 2006 The Island Crematorium, Rocky Island, Ringaskiiddy opened its doors in a beautiful and historic building overlooking Cork Harbor, this fact increased the number of families opting for cremation as it was more accessible and it has increased steadily over the years, I was surprised to learn from staff at the Crematorium that 75% of Cremations are for people over 70 years of age.

Funerals began to become more than a three-day event as more and more Irish people travelled to many different parts of the world for work or to settle there, this in turn led to an extra day or two to a funeral as family made their way home. Embalming was becoming a necessity in such circumstances and eventually for all funerals. Embalming is offered to all families but is a matter of choice not compulsory but highly recommended, we were extremely fortunate to be in a position to engage the services of Cora O’Riordan for many years, Cora lives in Cullen and is one of the very best embalmers available, she travelled to us at all hours of the day and night to accommodate us and families who had lost a loved one, for this we are deeply indebted to Cora who was our constant until Killian qualified in Embalming. Cora is still with us when times are extra busy and when we need her and is now a very loyal friend to all of us. During the Covid Pandemic we had the awful situation where those who died of Covid or suspected Covid were not to be seen by their families, a most desperate situation where families did not have an opportunity to say goodbye, it was a heartbreaking scenario as being in the presence of your loved one, saying goodbye and being able to touch them is part of the grieving process, fortunately for some families in the later stage of the pandemic we were able to engage a firm in Navan who specialized in Covid Embalming, this brought great solace to their families. For those families who did not have this opportunity or the opportunity of a Church funeral because of Covid you were denied so much and will always be in our thoughts.

Over the last twenty or so years travelling abroad for experience, work opportunities and FuneralTimes | 71

financial gain has been part of the life cycle for many younger Irish people. Unfortunately, this leads to deaths abroad which are now common-place which is a very traumatic time for any family. We are fortunate to have forged a very strong working relationship with a Repatriation Company based in London who repatriate from any Country in the world and also with The Kevin Bell Trust a charitable organization set up by the Bell family when they found themselves in that situation without assistance. Repatriation takes time, but utilizing firms and charities such as we do may speed up the process and you know it will be handled efficiently, We have seen the come-back of funerals from the family home in the last number of years, whether it be a full wake and visitation or private time for the family. Not every home can facilitate this but if one chooses a home wake, it is best curtailed to certain hours, if it is for family time then families may utilize the funeral home also for the public aspect of the visitation period, a family may opt to have their loved one brought home after visitation in the funeral home until Mass/Service time. It is best to spend time with and around their love one at this time, it is a great help in grieving, at Ronayne’s we offer these options to families.

A funeral for any family is a traumatic event regardless of the age of your loved one who has died or the length of illness and

Nellie Ronayne (my mother and backbone to the business) 72 | FuneralTimes

especially a sudden death, we are never prepared for that actual moment when it comes. Arranging a funeral is not a regular occurrence for any family it is a daunting process when people are at their weakest moment and most vulnerable. There is so much to think about and consider, so many decisions to be made which you have never dreamed of. It is a time full of emotions such as sorrow, peace, hurt, guilt, blame and many more emotions all being a natural part of the process called bereavement. Then there is the cost of the funeral, and the legalities involved with solicitors or maybe worse still the absence of a solicitor and no will, so many worries.

Ronayne’s Funeral Directors will guide you through and discuss all aspects and needs for this funeral from meeting the Priest or Minister to choosing a suitable coffin, identifying a grave or purchasing one, if necessary, your choice of clothes for your loved one, wording of a death notice, arranging a soloist & organist for the funeral Mass, arranging wreaths/ flowers if required, explaining how to acquire a death certificate, applying for an interim death certificate in the event of a postmortem, arrange gravediggers, pictures for a slide show in the funeral home, livestreaming the Mass free of charge if there is no facility in the Church, explain Mass readings and your choices, assisting in arranging hospitality after the funeral, we offer Keepsakes (a card with a picture of your loved one & a lock of their hair) to all immediate family members free of charge. We pay all funeral related expenses if this is agreeable to the family, we include headstone inscriptions in the funeral account if it is easier for the family. Above all we explain all expenses incurred during the funeral and itemize them on the invoice, one is entitled to know the cost of the funeral during the arrangement period.

Pre-Planned Funerals and Pre-Paid Funerals are now beginning to become popular in Ireland, I would encourage everyone to sit down put pen to paper and consider what you want for your funeral, and no it won’t hasten your death but what it will do is give you peace of mind. We are at present in the process of setting up a Pre-Paid Funerals option, this would of course cover all the basics required for a funeral, but the client

would have the peace of mind of having the majority of their funeral paid for, this money would remain untouched until the client actually passes away.

A business such as Ronayne Funeral Directors does not run smoothly without an excellent and dedicated team of colleagues, for many years after its inception I had casual helpers who were available when needed and who often filled in for me when I was unavailable, some are still living others have gone to their reward and all were loyal, but for all of I hold them in great affection and appreciation I could not have done it without them. Some thirteen years ago my nephew Killian showed an interest in embalming, I thought it was one of his jokes, but he was interested and went on to train and join the business and has been a great backbone to me ever since and has proven to be very interested in all aspects of the funeral business, he is now an invaluable part of bringing new thoughts and ideas as we go forward. Many years ago, about 20, Mick Kelleher from Grange came on board doing “odd jobs”, well he is still involved and doing more odd jobs than ever, at times we nearly forget he is there as he does what he does best but if Mick was missing for a day or two its then we realize the amount he does, without him there would be an awful lot of extra chores, unbelievably Mick knows nearly everyone and everyone seems to know Mick, he is a great ability to connect families genealogically. Five years ago, Oliver Lillis from Fermoy (and Glanworth) joined Ronayne Funeral Directors and he has proven to be a great asset, a great conversationalist, complete empathy with bereaved families and more than willing to be available and helpful at their time of loss and goes beyond the limits to have everything just right. As already mentioned, we have Cora when we need her most. Without their dedication, loyalty and discretion Ronayne Funeral Directors would not function, we work as friends everyone being equal. I am deeply indebted to you and to all who have ever worked with me over the years, your contribution has played a pivotal role in our existence to date, and I thank you most sincerely.

It would be unforgivable of me not to mention all my family, their support has been unfaltering over the years helping out where ever they

could Cora O’Riordan, Embalmer especially in the early years, my father used to mount the coffins with great attention to detail (this was putting the sets of handles on them when they were delivered, that time we had coffins delivered unfurnished and unlined).

Above all the support, commitment and belief in me that I received from my beloved late mother Nellie was only amazing, whatever I might have done for her in life it wouldn’t repay what she did for me, white crisp shirts at the ready all the time, coffin pads filled, bottles of Holy Water at the ready, envelopes ready for payments, answering the phone for funeral inquiries, meeting families at the door to discuss arrangements, having the hearse washed and shining, an unbelievable lady who had faith and belief in me and in what I was doing, for all that and her dedication, advice and true friendship “thank you Mam”.

I am taking this opportunity to thank everyone who has helped me personally over the past forty years, all my former work colleagues at St. Patrick’ Community Hospital for their friendship who were so supportive in many ways when in need, and still are, to the many families who have put their trust in us to serve them in their time of need thank you for choosing Ronayne’s Funeral Directors. Thank you to all the organists, soloists, gravediggers and sacristans who have always been there when needed the Gardai, Doctors, Coroner, Fire Brigade Personnel, Ambulance Staff, Blackwater Sub Aqua Club and the Medical Practices Staff who we have been in contact with on many sad and tragic occasions and always so professional in your duties to anyone who has in any way enhanced our funeral business in any capacity over the last forty years I thank you all most sincerely for all your support and efforts, to absent friends I remember you with gratitude.

FuneralTimes | 73

visit: coleman-milne.co.uk call: +44 (0)1942 815600 74 | FuneralTimes

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Choice, change, and comfort: Reflections from five years as a Funeral Celebrant

by Conor Clear I conducted my first funeral service at the height of the pandemic in May 2020 when only ten people were allowed to attend. At my very first service, a family member was turned away at the door as they hit the limit.

It’s a moment I’ve thought about at different times across the last number of years.

Five years later however, it’s wonderful to see that those difficult times have lifted. In that time many rituals of course have evolved, some dramatically, while others remain the same. I can’t help but feel that in that time, a door has been opened; to choice, to personalisation, and to honouring loved ones in ways that truly reflect who they were.

These past five years have shown me that while tradition continues to hold meaning for many, there is a growing desire for funerals that genuinely represent the person being remembered. I get such a sense that families are increasingly seeking ceremonies that feel authentic, whether through unique music, heartfelt stories, or even unconventional locations. This shift isn’t simply about novelty; it’s about creating space for genuine connection, healing, and remembrance.

For many families, there may be a sense of uncertainty. They know they might want or need something different but perhaps they aren’t sure what that looks like. And as a celebrant, I’ve been so energised working alongside funeral directors to help families navigate these choices.

Earlier in the year, I appeared on an RTÉ discussion show talking about the wonderful potential for healing which can come from a personalised funeral service. A question was posed to me about appropriate music with the barometer set at AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’.

I was asked “Conor, would you play ‘Highway to Hell’ at a funeral?” The short answer is yes. I couldn’t say it on air in that moment, but having met a family that very day, I was due to include it for a family very soon after. I left the studio 76 | FuneralTimes

questioning myself and asking if indeed it really was appropriate. But the on the day, when I hit play on AC/DC, I saw the family’s shoulders drop, comfort permeated through their sadness, and I was never so sure that whatever music a family wants or needs is very much what is “appropriate.” How wonderful that these options exist now whether in crematoria, funeral homes with space to hold a service, or indeed in any number of alternative locations around the country. For the celebrant, it doesn’t mean rejecting tradition, it simply means adapting to families’ needs.

Regarding eulogies, again, it’s wonderful to be in a landscape where we’re not bound by the same rules as, say, a church-based funeral.

We’re not bound by the sanctity of the altar, so we can see the healing that comes when families articulate exactly what they need to express. The catharsis is undeniable.

Indeed, while I never want to be an arbiter of taste or a gatekeeper of what’s appropriate, its certainly been my experience when a family is given free reign, they typically stay within what’s generally thought of as ‘appropriate.’ I often laugh when, on the rare occasion someone might swear in a eulogy, they immediately turn to me and apologise, as if I’m a priest.

More than that, we’re also not limited to just one voice. It can be so lovely to have multiple perspectives; different brush strokes that together create a fuller portrait of someone’s life. Each voice brings a unique memory or insight, enriching the ceremony with depth, warmth, and authenticity.

I often reflect on how much the experience of grief has changed, especially in the wake of the pandemic. As a country, I don’t think we’ve even begun to unpack the trauma from that difficult time. In conversations with funeral directors, they often tell me they’re becoming more attuned to families who, for various reasons, feel a church service may not align with their needs, but who still wish for their loved one’s

faith or spirituality to be acknowledged.

Interestingly, when I step into a family’s life, it often isn’t their first journey through grief. Sometimes their previous experiences involved traditional church services where they were met with strict adherence to liturgical structures that limited their personal and emotional expression. That’s why I think it’s so nice that families have options that enable them to incorporate faith elements, prayers, and spiritual reflections freely, without those liturgical constraints. It’s a very positive step which allows families the comfort and familiarity of prayer in a personalised context.

It has to be said that as a celebrant, it’s a profound privilege to include meaningful elements of faith, prayer, or spirituality, in whatever shape resonates most authentically with the family. While I’m not strictly religious myself (I continue to navigate my own spiritual journey), I genuinely appreciate the significance of leading moments of prayer, fully aware of the responsibility and privilege it entails.

Without the boundaries of formal liturgy, families have the freedom to include prayers or spiritual expressions from any tradition, creating powerful moments of genuine communal comfort, healing, and remembrance.

I’m filled with gratitude to work with great funeral directors across Dublin who are having constructive conversations with their families; gently exploring options with them, without assuming one approach fits all. It’s so positive to see directors help ensure each funeral truly honours the individual’s memory in the most meaningful way possible. It’s something I trust and hope will move beyond urban centres, across wider parts of the country.

When I look back on that first funeral in the early days of lockdown with only ten attendees, I’m struck by how positively Irish funerals have evolved from that point into new directions.

I’ve been sincerely grateful for the opportunity to work alongside thoughtful, caring and compassionate funeral directors, united in our goal of supporting families. Looking ahead, it’s clear that personalisation isn’t just a passing trend; it’s here to stay and I’m looking forward to seeing it grow even further. Being part of this meaningful shift fills me with optimism and gratitude, and I look forward with warmth and confidence to the future of funerals in Ireland.

The Graveyard Book and revolving Joe

By Mattie Lennon When Neil Gaiman wrote The Graveyard Book it was considered a book for children. However, be that as it may, I feel that I, and even you dear reader, could benefit from a few quotes from it: “You’re always you, and that don’t change, and you’re always changing, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

“It’s like the people who believe they’ll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, but who learn it doesn’t work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you. If you see what I mean.”

“Sleep my little baby-oh Sleep until you waken, When you wake you’ll see the world If I’m not mistaken.”

“The tongue is the most remarkable. For we use it both to taste out sweet wine and bitter poison, thus also do we utter words both sweet and sour with the same tongue.”

“You’re alive. That means you have infinite potential.

You can do anything, make anything, and dream anything. If you can change the world, the world will change. Potential. Once you’re dead, it’s gone. Over.

You’ve made what you’ve made, dreamed your dream, written your name. You may be buried here, you may even walk. But that potential is finished.”

“People want to forget the impossible.

It makes their world safer.”

“Face your life, its pain, its pleasure, leave no path untaken.”

Kiss a lover Dance a measure, Find your name And buried treasure.”

“We who make stories know that we tell lies for a living. But they are good lies that say true things, and we owe it to our readers to build them as best we can. Because somewhere out there is someone who needs that story. Someone who will grow up with a different landscape, who without that story will be a different person. And who with that story may have hope, or wisdom, or kindness, or comfort.

And that is why we write.”

“If you dare nothing, then when the day is over, nothing is all you will have gained.”

“You can’t trust other people. If it’s important, you have to do it yourself.”

“You are obvious, boy. You are difficult to miss. If you came to me in company with a purple lion, a green elephant, and a scarlet unicorn astride which was the King of England in his Royal Robes, I do believe that it is you and you alone that people would stare at, dismissing the others as minor irrelevancies.”

“Be hole, be dust, be dream, be wind/Be night, be dark, be wish, be mind,/Now slip, now slide, now move unseen,/ Above, beneath, betwixt, between.”

80 | FuneralTimes

“If you couldn’t trust a poet to offer sensible advice, who could you trust?”

You’re brave. You are the bravest person I know, and you are my friend. I don’t care if you are imaginary.”

“Fear is contagious. You can catch it. Sometimes all it takes is for someone to say that they’re scared for the fear to become real.“

Revolving Joe

A

west Wicklow woman approached St. Peter at the pearly gates and asked, “Pardon me, but can you tell me if my husband is here? His name is Byrne.”

“I’m sorry, lady, but we have lots of Byrnes here;

you’ll need to have more identification.”

“Joe Byrne” The lady replied “We have lots of Joe Byrnes here, too. You’ll have to be more specific.”

“He’s buried in Burgage and before he died, he

told me that if I were ever unfaithful to him, he’d turn over in his grave.”

St. Peter raised his eyebrows in thought, then smiled and said, “Oh! You mean pinwheel Byrne!”

Poetry Corner... Poetry Corner... Poetry Corner... Poetry Corner... Poetry Corner

WHAT IF? Will there be snobs in Heaven, still looking down their nose, To show that they’re superior, and everybody knows?

Will intellects be levelled, on passing through the gate?

If so, there will be protests, spawning much debate.

Will prejudice still flourish, if souls are all transparent?

If so, they’ll need be labelled, to keep the status-quo apparent.

Will education all be carried, into that other sphere, With Professors still Professors, just as it is down here?

Will ownership of earthly goods, be recognised up there, Title, Deed or Coronet, to guarantee, a greater share?

Will there be disappointment, when some perceive their lot, On realising equality, is the only reward they’ve got?

Enough! Of speculative nonsense, about what lies in wait, A good life is worth living, regardless of your fate!

Monty Alexander 3.8.09 FuneralTimes | 81

Lambs Funeral Service expands their Jaguar fleet with a new Jaguar XF Limousine from Wilcox

W

ilcox is proud to deliver a brand-new Jaguar XF Limousine to Lambs Funeral Service, further enhancing their impressive fleet of Jaguar vehicles.

Based in Murton, County Durham, Lambs Funeral Service has been a family-

run business since the 1870s, beginning as carriage masters before evolving into a highly respected funeral service provider. Despite their growth, they have remained committed to their local values, offering care and compassion to families

Jeff Lamb and his son Kevin collecting their new Jaguar XF Limousine

throughout the North East and beyond.

With a strong heritage in funeral vehicles, Lambs continue to operate and maintain a fleet of premium Jaguar and Daimler vehicles, ensuring the highest standards for their own services as well as providing vehicles for other funeral directors across the region.

We extend our thanks to owner Jeff Lamb and his son Kevin, who collected their new Jaguar XF Limousine. Wilcox is honoured to support Lambs Funeral Service with vehicles that uphold their tradition of excellence.

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82 | FuneralTimes

A time for everything

First you hurt, then you heal

By Dr Bill Webster

I

have been thinking about time and how it affects us.

Have you noticed how slow time is when you are waiting, but how fast it seems to go when you are late.

Time can be relentless when you are sad, endless when you are in pain and eternal when you are bored.

But time always seems short when you are happy, having fun, or with the people you love and enjoy. When we are young, it seems like we have all the time in the world to do everything we want and hope to do. But time flies, and all too often we approach the end of our time and realize there is still so much we want to do.

Our bucket list is unfulfilled and time is running short.

Yet at all times, time is constant, one minute, one hour, one day at a time.

So it seems logical to say that how we perceive or are affected by time is determined by our feelings and our psychological conditions, not just by clocks or calendars.

But there is another aspect of time that is important. It is called timing. When you are running a race or playing a sport, timing is everything. Athletes have an internal clock that tells them to be ready for the ball, the swing or the sprint, and they have to get to that spot on time. The “greats” have it; the rest of us don’t.

So, how do we apply that to your business?

There are three “gateways” at which people can enter the funeral process, Pre-need, At-need and Aftercare. One of these options offers a better “timing” opportunity for us.

A) A Time for Pre-need and At-Need It has oft been said that “The worst time to plan a funeral is when someone dies.” The obvious reason is because people are having to make

decisions at possibly the most difficult time of their lives, when their mental, emotional and psychological faculties are in turmoil. But I am preaching to the choir here!

Pre-need is an essential part of the funeral industry. But surprisingly, preplanning is not as common as we may think. Statistics show a relatively small (albeit growing) percentage of the population who have funeral plans. There is also an acknowledged resistance among many to pre-plan their funeral, which probably speaks more of our unwillingness to face our own mortality than anything.

So, for people who do not preplan, what does that mean? When a death occurs, decisions need to be made quickly. Many opt for direct cremation quoting “cost” and the fact that “mum didn’t want a funeral” or Dad didn’t want to spend the money. The problem is that some time down the road, many wish that they had done something different. When there is no opportunity to say goodbye through a funeral or celebration of life, something somehow feels “unfinished”. But they surmise, “It’s too late to have a celebration of life. We are supposed to be “over it’ by now.”

So when there is no “ritual” or meaningful ceremony of farewell, people may not have an opportunity to express their grief or receive support, which are the two essentials of the healing process.

And there is proof. Decades of studies suggest that many people get “stuck” experiencing prolonged or persistent grief, (which is now codified in DSM V) and often connected to not having meaningful goodbye or support which promotes closure.

Time does not heal. It is what we do with time that enhances recovery. Aftercare provides FuneralTimes | 83

an atmosphere in which grief can be validated and provide a source of social connection and support.

But you know all this! So what’s new?

B) A Time for AfterCare It is to these people, weeks and even months after a death, that we can provide the greatest service. OK, maybe they didn’t come to your establishment for a funeral, or buy a funeral plan. How can you create a situation whereby you will be the top of their list the next time need arises?

I often quote Maya Angelou’s famous saying, “People may not remember what you say or do, but they will remember how you made them feel.”

People may or may not “feel good” about their experience before or after a death, but in the weeks and months that follow, when they are feeling devastated by their loss, desperately looking for understanding of their grief together with the emotional and social support they so desperately want, how do you think they are going to “feel” about whoever provides that help and support.

Many businesses don’t offer aftercare, and I understand the reason why. There are only so many hours in the day and much of your time and energy is spent on “the urgency of the present”. After the immediate task is completed, it becomes a question of triage. Another series of “front line needs” (i.e. funerals) awaits, and there just isn’t time to provide Aftercare.

But can you afford not to find time for AfterCare? To quote Golda Meir, “We must govern the clock, not be governed by it.”

In a military context, it is often said that “you win battles by knowing the enemy’s timing, and using a timing which the enemy does not expect.”

Here’s the question! What is it people will remember? They may or may not remember what you said and did, and even the excellent service you provided at the time, because they were numb and in shock.

They will much more likely remember how you made them feel after the funeral or cremation is over. That’s what AfterCare is and does.

And who do you think they will turn to next time?

84 | FuneralTimes

First you hurt, then you heal Dr. Bill Webster understands grief not just in theory, but also from personal experience. In his book, “First you Hurt, Then you Heal”, Dr. Bill outlines a road map for the grief journey in a series of articles that take us through the process.

He begins with a chapter entitled “I Didn’t Plan for This” that gives people an understanding of what they may experience in the early days after a loss. The book then goes on to give us an understanding of grief, some insights into various situations of loss, and some strategies to help us work through the process.

This book will be a helpful resource for those who are going through a grief process as well as containing much relevant and practical information for those who would like to know what they can say and how they can help someone who has experienced a significant loss. It will also serve as a basic knowledge and layman’s guide for those in the helping professions such as nurses, teachers, funeral directors and those who seek to support grieving people, young and old, through their work. “First you Hurt, Then you Heal” provides practical, down to earth and effective insight into one of the most difficult topics and most misunderstood experiences of life.

First you Hurt, Then you Heal: A Road Map for the Grief Journey (Kindle Edition) is available to buy on Amazon.

Classifieds... Classifieds...

For Sale

For Sale

2008 D 5 DOOR DUFFY HEARSE

2020 FORD GALAXY REMOVAL VEHICLE

• 162.500km • NCT and taxed for the year • Excellent Condition Price €15,000 or nearest offer

For more information contact Liam Somers T:087 9932792

• CPL Deck • Only 47,500 Km • Immaculate condition • Based in Southern Ireland Price on applications to: office@pollertoncastle.com

Mercedes-Benz E-Class Hearse 2019 ~ immaculate condition FOR SALE

€85,000 Too many extras to list, view more on DoneDeal or call:

086 06 777 03

FuneralTimes | 85

Classifieds... Classifieds...

For Sale 2014 COLEMAN MILNE FORD CARDINAL HEARSE

Matthew L. Jones FUNERAL REPATRIATION SERVICE • South Wales based • 24 Hour removal & repatriation service • Long & short distance throughout UK & Ireland • Inclusive of airports & ferry ports • B.I.E qualified embalming service • Also Hearse & Limousine hire available

• Only 75k km •Immaculate condition • Based in Southern Ireland

Price on application to: office@pollertoncastle.com

Mobile: 07815 866 652 Tel: 01267 236 787 (24hrs) email: info@funeralservices.wales www.funeralservices.wales

WANTED Wishing to retire/semi-retire or plan your exit strategy?

Existing funeral home wishes to purchase a Funeral Business in the Cork/Limerick area.

• Confidentiality assured

Please email expressions of interest to Funeral Times, in confidence: sales@funeraltimes.com

Quote Ref: PO Box No 2025/2/1 86 | FuneralTimes

Classifieds... Classifieds... !!!! MUST GO !!!!

CONNOLLY 2003 VAUXHALL HEARSE EARSE EMBALMING SERVICES

Tel: 07762 123629 Covering All of N. Ireland B.I.E & P.E.A.I. Qualified & Registered

L FIN AST C AL REDHANC UCT E! ION

• Excellent condition • Only 50k miles • Selling due to upgrade REDUCED TO £1200 STERLING!!

For further information call NI 07704 550140 or ROI 087 2456 479

• Provincewide Service Available • Experienced Drivers

For enquiries please contact James on

Mob: 07734 283181/ Tel: 028 3884 9151 or visit: www.jamesbartonfuneralservices.co.uk or email: jamesbarton75@gmail.com

MERCEDES LIMOUSINES / MERCEDES S CLASS / MERCEDES MPV / MERCEDES HEARSE / REMOVAL CAR AVAILABLE FuneralTimes | 87

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