What do you say? ‘I’m never lost for words’, so says Mary Elizabeth Dillon from Civil Funerals Ireland, in response to the query, ‘what do you say at funeral services?’. Sometimes the words flow easily, some people live very full and diverse lives which give rise to plenty of anecdotes, happy memories to share, and the telling of a lifestory going back many years. These are the easy funeral services to manage, organise and deliver. The problem here is keeping to the time frame allocated. Mary Elizabeth has often had to ask people, when going to the crematorium, to curtail their remarks to fit the time available and, while being as sensitive as possible in doing so, nonetheless sometimes people feel upset or angry.
What people don’t realise, she says, is that a long speech is only remembered because it is long, whereas a short few words from the heart have more impact and last longer in the memory because they are poignant and personal. It also happens that a family may decide that they do not want to speak themselves but will ask Mary Elizabeth to speak on their behalf. Meeting with them in advance gives the opportunity to get an idea of what they want and more especially what they do not want. Where a relationship has broken down with a loved one, it is often not appropriate to use flowing words of tribute or to heap praise on the deceased. Rather it is better to stick to the facts of a person’s life and to outline their biography.
In a case like this Mary Elizabeth often calls on her considerable file of poetry and words which she has put together over the years to find something appropriate which she or a family member can read. It is often in a case like this that families are particularly appreciative of the sensitive handling of their needs at a very difficult time. For Mary Elizabeth, dealing with a difficult funeral and producing a fitting and appropriate service is one of the most fulfilling and satisfying elements of working in the funeral industry. Civil funerals allow a great deal of scope for originality and being able to work in as wide a way as possible and this in turn allows the celebrant to offer so much to a grieving family.
By Mary Elizabeth Dillon
Civil Funerals Ireland Simple, unique, personal funeral services
• An alternative to the traditional • Celebrating Life • Reflecting the wishes and beliefs of the deceased and their loved ones • Provides an opportunity to pay a fitting tribute • Any suitable venue can be used
Mary Elizabeth Dillon is available between 9am - 11pm 7 days a week Tel ROI: 0402 91273 / Mobile: 087 957 4476 Email: info@civilfuneralsireland.com
Funerals conducted throughout Ireland
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