2020 Vision By Dr Bill Webster
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here was a point last year when I was ready to write my “retirement” article. After all, I am not getting any younger. It will be 100 years in June since my mother was born, and this year I will be the age she was when she died. I have outlived my father, my first wife and more recently my youngest son. In my work, I have made a significant contribution to the field of grief support which peak culminated last year when I was awarded the British Citizen’s Medal in London “for exceptional positive impact to society as an inspiration to others.” That makes it all worthwhile. But there is one problem. I don’t feel like I am finished yet! I have 2020 vision. I am not referring to my physical eyesight. Rather, my 2020 vision is a goal to make one more major international contribution to the field of grief support this year by offering a programme of support that will be available to participants without cost. This venture is not about business, it is about LEGACY. Grief support in my opinion has to be more than a commercial or financial venture, and I plan to address what I feel has become a serious imbalance in this area. With a proposed launch in the spring, I will keep people informed. But while we are talking about retirement here is a vital question that those considering the prospect have to answer. It’s not “What are you retiring from?”, but “What are you retiring TO?” If we cannot answer that second question, we could be in trouble. Everyone knows you need to get ready financially for retirement; but actually even more importantly, you need to get ready psychologically. We spend about 20 years of
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our lives preparing to be a success; then we spend the next 30-40 years being as successful as we can in our work. As Vince Lombardi the football coach said, “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” Think of what we lose when we retire from work: A) The loss of structure, as comfortable, regular routines disappear; Oh yes, there is still that long overdue “honey-do” list but is that enough? (My wife and I have differing views on this!) B) The loss of identity, inasmuch as many find “themselves” in what they DO as much as by who they are. Even after retirement people will often identify themselves by their jobs or professions C) The loss of relationship, with colleagues, clients, the public, missing the social interaction and camaraderie with people you have seen every day D) The loss of power or authority offered by your position or your responsibilities at work. But perhaps most significant is the loss of a sense of purpose. The crucial element for survival, whether I work or retire, is being able to recognize that there is still a purpose for my life. The brain works like a bicycle. A bike is a welloiled machine, which when it moves at speed is efficient and effective moving you forward in whatever direction. When a bicycle slows down however, it becomes much more difficult to control. And when it comes to a complete stop, you get off.. or fall off. We can slow down in life but we have to keep going. Whether after a death or a life loss like retirement, illness (or many other examples), feeling “loss” and feeling “lost” is always
