Families Thames Valley East Jan/Feb 2021

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RECRUITING NOW Successful ‘business mum’ is seeking 5 working partners to work part-time from home, alongside & without compromising family commitments or current career.

IN THIS ISSUE

If you have a supervisory, managerial, sales, marketing, recruitment or selfemployed background, or you wish to develop an extraordinary lifestyle

Health Education Parenting

please call Diana Page 01235 533362 • 07747 086518

Issue 112 January/February 2021 familiesonline.co.uk

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familiesonline.co.uk Families Thames Valley East

EXCELLENT ISI inspection 2018

OPEN MORNING Sat 6 March 9.45am to 12 noon To book email admissions@heathfieldschool.net

Boarding and Day for Girls 11-18

heathfieldschool.net | +44 (0) 1344 898343

PICTURE CROSSWORD

Can you solve the picture clues and put them in the crossword?

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WORD SEARCH

Find these country names in the grid.

Then read the remaining unused letters in the bottom five lines from left to right to find a hidden message!

L G J B D L R U S S I A

U S A Z P Q X W U S E S

P B P O L A N D G I R O

S X A Q R T V E E T A O

JAPAN USA KENYA POLAND

Maidenhead Windsor Marlow Ascot Slough Egham

K E N Y A S O H T I C C

M T D U F A W O L A O H

Z N J E O F P A T N U I

V C I O A U R P I R A N

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RUSSIA INDIA AUSTRALIA

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H A M B C A N A D A Y Z

CHINA IRAN FRANCE CANADA familiesonline.co.uk

In this issue

...endless ideas for families of young children in Maidenhead • Windsor • Marlow • Ascot • Slough • Egham

4-5 News & Views

®

EDUCATION 7

Getting ready for SATs

8

Books for tricky times

Thames Valley East

9 Encouraging constant learning

From the Editors...

11 Improving concentration

With the arrival of the New Year comes light at the end of the Covid tunnel, with a vaccine destined to help us get back to normal life in the coming months. In the meantime, we have the dark, chilly days of winter to get through and, despite the Christmas break, many of us are feeling battle-weary and fatigued.

EARLY YEARS

12

Benefits of Nursery

14 When childcare isn’t working

HEALTH

15 Mental health resolutions 16 Focus on health

PARENTING

17 Finding fun in tough times 18 Help! My child wants to use social media 19

Guilty parent syndrome

20

BOOK CLUB

SHE MEANS BUSINESS

21 Covid and working mums 22 Working with little ones at home 23 Little Learners

FamiliesTVE

@FamiliesTVE

So let’s make the most of these quiet weeks to come. While we hibernate, it’s a great time to make some New Year’s resolutions that will get the family’s health back on track, mentally and physically. We’ve got some great tips and ideas on pages 15 and 16 as well as suggestions for making family time fun on p.17 and a chance to win our latest book club recommendation on p.20.

Plus, Bernice from Little Learners talks to us about starting a business in tough times. As we continue our 30th anniversary celebrations, why not sign up to receive our digital magazine, where you’ll find additional interactive content and more freebies?

Just visit familiesmag.co.uk/go Hang in there everyone – better times are coming!

Anna & Rach Next Issue:

www.Familiesonline.co.uk T: 01628 788058 E: Editor@FamiliesTVEast.co.uk

March/April 2021

Editors:

Anna Collins and Rachel Bailey

Cover image: depositphotos.com

Circulation: 19,000

Families Thames Valley East is part of Families Print Ltd, a franchise company. All Franchised magazines in the group are independently owned and operated under licence. Families is a registered trademark of LCMB Ltd. Remenham House, Regatta Place, Marlow Road, Bourne End, Bucks, SL8 5TD. The contents of Families Thames Valley East are fully protected by copyright and none of the editorial or photographic matter may be reproduced in any form without prior consent of Families Thames Valley East. Every care is taken in the preparation of this magazine but the franchise company, Families Print Ltd and Lifecycle Marketing cannot be held responsible for the claims of advertisers, nor for the accuracy of the contents, or any consequence thereof.

ASCOT 01344 206466 ascot@stagecoach.co.uk

Helping children believe they can do anything Singing, dancing and acting classes for 4 - 18 year-olds

HENLEY AND MARLOW HIGH WYCOMBE 07968 598227 07968 598227 henleyandmarlow@stagecoach.co.uk highwycombe@stagecoach.co.uk MAIDENHEAD 01628 281128 maidenhead@stagecoach.co.uk

WINDSOR 01932 988086 windsor@stagecoach.co.uk Stagecoach Performing Arts is the trading name of Stagecoach Theatre Arts Limited. Stagecoach Theatre Arts schools are operated under franchise and are independently owned by their Principals. Stagecoach and Creative Courage For Life are registered trademarks of Stagecoach Theatre Arts Limited.

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Families Thames Valley East

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News News&&Views Views

Get hatty and help find a cure for brain tumours!

Wear A Hat Day is back for 2021! Taking place on Friday 26th March, this is one of the UK’s biggest and most important brain tumour research fundraising and awareness-raising days.

After a very challenging year dealing with a Coronavirus pandemic and on the back of their ongoing campaining and successful new petition, Wear A Hat Day 2021 is perfectly timed to become a huge event, bringing hope and inspiring the nation like never before!

Thanks to the brilliant charity partnership with Venture Studios, Brain Tumor Research have been gifted with inspirational and uplifting portraits of key worker families who, despite having their own devastating brain tumour stories, are determined to show the joy and positivity that is being involved in Wear A Hat Day.

A sporting chance Pangbourne College prides itself on adding breadth and depth to every individual through its impressive cocurriculum offering. The co-educational day and boarding school is particularly well-known for its sporting opportunities and professional coaching. In recent weeks, Year 11 pupil Connor Jacob qualified for The Junior European Open finals, which is considered the toughest test in junior golf across Europe. Meanwhile, Captain of the 1st XV rugby team, Calum Scott in Year 13, has been awarded England Academy Player status. Within the London Irish club, he is one of a small number with this status and it places him on the pathway towards professional rugby.

England Hockey recently showcased Pangbourne student, Megan Fergusson, in one of its ‘inspiring story’ videos. Megan, who was born without her lower left arm, plays in Pangbourne’s 1st team as well as at county level for Basingstoke Ladies. Head coach, Dan Paynter, says: “She always gives 100 per cent in her training sessions. The ambition she has to play at the top level is so impressive and I do believe that her determination will get her there.” Megan adds: “I’ve never let my disability hold me back in life and in Hockey. I’ve adapted and come through stronger as a result and I believe that I can achieve whatever those with two hands can achieve.”

Thames Valley East

T: 07867 / 07753 414605 Join thousands of families across514138 the country and create entertaining hat-themed fundraising E: editor@familiestveast.co.uk events in support of the Brain Tumour Research Little Media, 29 Furrow Way, charity. Whether your eventPeople will take place virtually or in person,Maidenhead there are plentySL6 of ideas, 3 NY resources and a FREE digital fundraising pack available online. To take part, register at www. wearahatday.org Brain tumours kill more children and adults under the age of 40 than any other cancer. Wear A Hat Day offers hope for patients as well as their families and friends.

Together we will find a cure. www.etonend.org

#WeAreEtonEnd

Slough foster carers continue to support vulnerable children The lockdown has been challenging for many of us. For children who’ve had little stability in their lives, the situation can be worse.

I am Eton End

Co-educational Preparatory Day School for children aged rising 3 - 11 35 Eton Road Dachet Berkshire SL3 9AX 01753 541075 • admin@etonend.org 4

Emily (not her real name) arrived at her new foster carer’s home soon after the lockdown began.

Even though she was eight years old, she had not enjoyed many life experiences, at least not ones she could look back on fondly. Emily mentioned to her foster carers that she had never been on holiday, or been to a beach, so a trip to the seaside was arranged and she was in and out of the sea, loving every minute of it. “These are the joys of being a foster carer,” said Karen, a foster carer with Slough Children’s Services Trust. “Seeing that laugh that has never been seen.”

Find out more about fostering through Slough Children’s Services Trust, and the support and allowances you will receive, by visiting fosterforslough.com or text FOSTER to 60066.

Maidenhead Windsor Marlow Ascot Slough Egham

‘We Are Tabono’ supports businesses during pandemic and beyond We were lucky enough to be invited along to the female business support company; ‘We Are Tabono’ at the end of 2020. It was during the 2nd lockdown period and so was very refreshing to see how this supportive network helped at a challenging time for many businesses. Indeed the owners, Anna Verghese and Chloë Leibowitz remarked that their business community had ‘come into its own’ during the pandemic and that business owners could share their experiences of operating in some of the toughest circumstances we have ever had to endure. We Are Tabono help with both business and personal support, which meant that members could diversify, take on challenges and look after themselves too.

When we joined in the sessions were on zoom (normally there are live sessions of course too).

Chloë commented, “Actually the idea of having both virtual and live meetings has been popular and something we’ll take forwards into 2021” she continued, “In the virtual sessions, we all come together, share skills, share suppliers, get on with work and chat when needed. We also have break out sessions for specific issues, so virtual has brought huge benefits as well as the live sessions.’

‘We Are Tabono’ is currently offering a free trial month. www.wearetabono.com/ community-membership/ info@wearetabono.com

familiesonline.co.uk

News News&&Views Views

Boost Your Child’s Confidence in 2021 with a FREE Perform Class After such a disrupted and unsettling year, Perform is looking forward to getting 2021 off to a brilliant start with weekly classes packed with high energy confidence-boosting fun. Classes are designed around developing the 4 Cs - confidence, communication, coordination and concentration - and use a mix of drama, dance and singing to bring out every child’s potential.

The curriculum ensures plenty of confidence building fun, with drama games, catchy songs and funky dances. All class materials are written by Perform, with apps, downloads and videos for the children to play at home.

Their small class sizes - run by two professional actors – ensure plenty of individual attention, plus each child receives a progress report every 10 weeks. Classes are available for ages 4-7 and 7-12 with a new creative theme each term and are delivered in line with government Covid guidelines.

Local Perform Classes St. Peter’s Centre, 1 Thorney Lane North, Iver SL0 9JU 4-7s Tuesdays at 4pm; 7-12s Tuesdays at 5.05pm Boyne Hill Infant School, Rutland Rd, Maidenhead SL6 4HZ 4-7s Saturdays at 9.30am; 7-12s Saturdays at 11.15am Maidenhead Community Centre, 42 York Rd, Maidenhead SL6 1SH 4-7s Fridays at 4pm; 7-12s Fridays at 5.05pm All Saints Church Hall, The Causeway, Marlow SL7 2AA 4-7s Mondays at 4pm; 7-12s Mondays at 5.05pm New Windsor Community Centre, Hanover Way, Windsor SL4 5NW 4-7s Fridays at 4pm; 7-12s Fridays at 5.05pm To book a no-obligation FREE trial at any of the above venues, visit www.perform.org.uk/try T: 020 7255 9120 / enquiries@perform.org.uk / www.perform.org.uk

Inspiring minds, creating bright futures Claires Court Anindependent independent school school An in Maidenhead Maidenhead n forNursery Nursery to to Sixth Sixth Form or For m

Join ourvirtual virtual open Join our openevents events to discover our academic, sporting and creative opportunities, meet our head teachers and pupils, ask questions, and hear all about life at Claires Court.

Reception Boys 15 January Reception Girls 22 January Senior Girls 26 January Senior Boys 28 January Nursery, Junior Boys and Junior Girls 29 January

Book visit today today Book your your visit 01628 327723 327723 01628 www.clairescourt.com/events www.clairescourt.com registrar@clairescourt.com registrar@clairescourt.com

familiesonline.co.uk

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

5

An independent, co-educational boarding and day school for 11-18s

“The quality of the pupils’ academic and other achievements is excellent.”

ISI Inspection Report, November 2019

Daily bus routes from Ascot & Maidenhead, plus shuttle service from Pangbourne train station

VISIT OUR VIRTUAL OPEN DAY:

www.pangbourne.com/ virtual-open-day Open Morning Saturday 6th March 2021 9.30am

UPTON HOUSE SCHOOL Outstanding co-education in the heart of Windsor Boys and Girls age 2-11 years | IAPS Independent Prep School

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Maidenhead Windsor Marlow Ascot Slough Egham

USE S HO

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UPTO N

Please call 01753 862610 or book online: uptonhouse.org.uk

@UptonHouseSch

familiesonline.co.uk

Education

Getting Ready for SATs

By Claire Winter Covid-19 has caused unprecedented issues and disruptions and one of the key areas of disruption has been in children’s education. Sadly, it is estimated that school pupils are at least three months behind on their learning. Preparing for exams is a stressful time for children, parents and teachers under normal circumstances.

However, despite the interruptions Covid-19 has caused, the government is currently still adamant that KS2 SATs will go ahead this year. BUT it has suspended KS1 SATs for one year.

KS1 SATs in Year 2 Generally children sit their KS1 SATs in reading and maths in May. They are also assessed by their teacher on science, writing, speaking, and listening. But, in 2021, teachers will assess children in reading, writing, phonics and maths only.

They can choose to administer past KS1 SATs papers to help inform their teacher assessment judgements, if they wish. The teacher assessments are not an official score and are not used in national assessments.

KS2 SATs in Year 6 In Year 6 SATs are a more formal process of testing and children will sit KS2 SATs 2021 in English reading, English grammar, punctuation, spelling, and maths. Students will also be assessed by their teachers in other subjects including speaking and listening, writing, and in some cases, science.

Everyone is aware that children have missed large parts of the curriculum. Parents also need to remember that SATs are mainly used to assess the school’s performance. However, they can also be a good way of understanding how well your child is doing in key subjects at school.

Alongside Year 7 CAT (Cognitive Ability Test) exams, many secondary schools will look at Year 6 SATs results as part of the decision making process when grouping students into sets or streams in Year 7. Again, this is nothing to be concerned about because secondary pupils are assessed regularly and moved into different sets and streams throughout their time at school, depending on their progress.

This country has just been through an unprecedented time in education, which has involved home schooling through a pandemic. Under these circumstances, it’s more important than ever to try not to get too stressed by SATs. Instead, take steps to help and prepare your child as best you can. If you do feel worried, try not to show it. Instead, do your best to help your child feel calm and confident about the assessment.

SATs Revision Tips

Catch Up on Learning

Make sure you and your child understand the gaps in their education. Taking a look at the curriculum or talking to your child’s teacher will help you understand where these are.

Becka Heaps, founder of Parent Intuition (parentmattersuk@ gmail.com) ran a free homework club called Homework Matters during lockdown 2. Here are her tips:

Have a planner. With your child, create a plan of what needs to be learned or revised and how much time to spend on it.

Make it fun, and try to think of interesting ways to revise the topics.

Mind maps are your friend. When you’ve identified the gaps in your child’s knowledge, ask them to create a mind map around each subject. This is a great visual way to represent the gaps and then record their progression.

Create a checklist. Ticking off what they have learned can boost your child’s self-esteem as they can see the progress they have already achieved.

Seek additional support. If your child/children are struggling, look for useful support resources online, such as websites like BBC Bitesize, TES or perhaps online tutorials.

Create space. Ensure you child has a quiet space, preferably at a desk, where they can complete their work without being disturbed.

Be a role model. Be involved. Listen to their struggles, help with their revision and celebrate their success.

familiesonline.co.uk

Have fun! Children are more likely to learn if they are enjoying themselves. Play games, make up a song, set quizzes! Why not practice the SATs test as a game show quiz?

Little but often is key. Twenty minutes of concentrated learning is far more effective than an hour of unfocussed revision. Identify a subject, focus on one topic, learn it, then stop and do something else.

Nail the basics. It’s tricky to simplify a fraction if your child doesn’t know their tables. Keep it simple, start where they are at, and build on their knowledge.

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

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Education

Books for Navigating Tricky Times By Smriti Halls A book can be a friend in lonely times, a delightful escape, a comfort blanket to wrap around us when the going gets tough.

As a parent, sharing this understanding with your children is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Optimism and Hope When life is tricky, sharing stories helps us feel hopeful. What could be more inspiring than reading about a mouse who outsmarts a monster or a young wizard defying the odds?

Choose books that are uplifting, joyful and empowering. Through words and pictures, help your child see that whatever they are experiencing, they are not the first and they are not alone. Books can remind children – and adults – of the joy and wonder in life.

Of friendship and family and the things that matter. They can help us feel optimistic, happy and loved.

Body Language The simple act of sharing a book is a very real, very special way of connecting with your child and vice versa. Sit close together.

Listen to the sound of each other’s voices. Take turns to read.

No matter how old, your child will always love being read to by you, so allow time for them to hear the reassuring sound of your voice.

Escape There’s nothing more comforting or exhilarating than escaping into a book. Share laugh-out-loud stories, wild adventures, magical mysteries….leave reality behind. Use books to help your children’s imaginations fly. Circumstances might not allow you to travel, but there are no limits to how far your imagination can take you. Laugh. Have fun. Use voices. Help your child feel

Pictures A picture speaks a thousand words… encourage your child to simply sit and soak up the beauty of the illustrations in a picture book. Allow them to be immersed in the detail, to read expressions, to tell the story in their own words. Help them take time to feel replenished and restored by the experience.

Facts Seek out information books on topics of interest – or concern.

This is a great way to engage with tricky subjects and arm children with facts so that they can feel well-resourced and empowered for any challenge. Most importantly, keep talking, keep connecting, keep reading. Through the books you choose and the way you share them, your child will feel secure, loved and well equipped for daily life, no matter how tricky the times.

Smriti Halls is an award-winning, critically acclaimed author and Writer in Residence with BookTrust, the UK’s largest children’s reading charity. Visit www.booktrust.org.uk

Books to Process Feelings

Regular and Often

Leafing through the pages of a book affords the space and time to think and to process emotions. It can provide a safe space to acknowledge worries, anxiety or sadness, creating opportunities to open wider conversations.

We know how much youngsters benefit from the reassurance of routine and this is particularly welcome at times when other aspects of life feel disrupted.

When reading with your child, make connections between the pictures and story and things happening in your child’s life, as well as emotions they might be feeling. Ask simple questions: “How do you think he’s feeling? Have you ever felt that way? I wonder if she’s nervous. When was the last time you felt like that?” This can be a tactful and unobtrusive way to approach a tender subject, especially if you are concerned that your child is bothered by something. Be gentle and allow time for your child to respond in their own way, without pressure.

Select a time each day when you will share a story together.

You may already have a bath, book and bed routine in place, or perhaps your child prefers snack time with stories as soon as they come home from school. Choose the time that suits your family best and then commit to reading together for at least 15 minutes at that time each day. The repetition will be reassuring and comforting.

Gently turning the pages of a book can be a wonderful opportunity to emotionally connect with your child at a deep level, a chance for them to open up and for them to feel your love and reassurance.

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unburdened and escape into humour, fantasy and delight.

Every now and again, you can make story time a big event!

Forget about pizza and a movie… create a bit of magic with books – make a warm and cosy environment. Snuggle up with blankets. Pour mugs of hot chocolate. Hand out cookies. Make this a happy part of the day that both you and your little ones look forward to, no matter what is going on elsewhere. In tricky times, it’s the very best medicine.

Maidenhead Windsor Marlow Ascot Slough Egham

familiesonline.co.uk

Education

Encouraging Constant Learning Dr Cath Bishop ‘Let’s race!’ ‘Who’s going to win snakes and ladders?’ From early childhood, it seems natural to compare and compete with others. But, historically, what marked us out from our ancestors was our ability to co-operate in large numbers, communicate and connect through ideas and stories. This is how we learn.

Whatever our age or circumstances, we can always learn. And learning sits at the heart of the latest thinking on innovating, resilience and leadership.

To help instil a learning habit in our children, let’s look at three areas.

Let’s start with co-operation. It’s sadly overlooked or underplayed. Games are often set up to determine winners and losers. In the classroom, children compete to be the first one to put their hands up with the right answer. They learn that they look good when they have that answer, that they are being compared with their peers, and that they look better when others get things wrong. These competitive experiences block them from learning with and from their peers. Teaching, supporting and challenging each other is the most effective way to learn; co-operation between children is also an essential ingredient for mental health.

Next, let’s embrace those ‘why’ questions that drive parents with toddlers crazy – they are the most brilliant basis of a learning mindset. A relentless focus on simply acquiring knowledge and skills without knowing why they matter or what impact they could have, reduces the motivation to keep learning.

The ‘why’ helps us to master the ‘what’ and work out the ‘how.’

Finally, as parents, we need to consider how we answer those questions – or not. We want to be clear. But it’s really not necessary for any of us to know the finer details of how planes stay up in the sky, or how long it takes to get to the moon. It’s much more useful to explore our children’s potential thoughts on these things and maybe find more questions.

The future is uncertain – and always has been. Asking questions, developing them and exploring different perspectives is the best way to foster a learning mindset, ready to discover new possibilities.

Dr Cath Bishop is an Olympic medallist, International Diplomat and Cambridge University Business Coach. Her new book The Long Win: The search for a better way to succeed is out now, published by Practical Inspiration Publishing, priced £12.99.

For more information, visit www.cathbishop.com

Creating Co-Operative Environments

More About Constant Learning

To do this, it’s important to avoid pitting children against each other as competitors in an endless game. The original meaning of competition comes from the Latin ‘competere’ which means ‘striving together’ – that’s a great approach for learning. Not working against or trying to beat others, but learning, exploring and creating new possibilities together.

Constant learning is not about right answers; it’s not about marks, grades, charts or rankings. It’s about an ongoing exploration of ourselves and the world around us.

At home, try and create games that involve co-operation rather than competition. This keeps children open to supporting and challenging each other, rather than feeling threatened and seeing each other as opponents.

A simple way that I changed the game of Scrabble with my child, was to aim for the joint highest score. We helped each other find better words when we could, learnt more and had more fun. It’s also okay not to finish games, or end them without a clear winner. That sets children up to enjoy the playing process, shared social experience and learning, rather than the outcomes, which are often determined by luck and factors beyond their control – a bit like real life! familiesonline.co.uk

Learning doesn’t have to be labelled and categorised into subjects, like history, geography or maths, as we have become accustomed to for decades. The more we can integrate what we see, bring science into cooking, art into geography and music into maths, the more we enable young minds to see things from multiple perspectives, to make new connections themselves and develop a healthy curiosity towards whatever they encounter.

Learning should not be about success or failure, about being better than someone else or learning the same things that everyone else knows. Those largely serve to limit what we learn. Learning should be about trying out something new, combining things that aren’t usually put together, playing within every subject, not just at playtime. The possibilities are endless – so let’s get exploring!

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

9

At Meadowbrook we do things differently

Herries Co-Ed Preparatory School & Nursery from 2 - 11 years

Promoting

Sportsmanship

From cheering on the sidelines to leading the pack, children at Herries learn good sportsmanship at Bisham Abbey’s world class National Sports Centre.

Skills which last a lifetime.

To take a tour of Herries visit www.herries.org.uk/admissions/make-an-enquiry 11+ Centre • Music Suite • Weekly Outdoor Activities at Longridge • Wraparound care from 7.30am - 6.00pm 01628 483350 | admissions@herries.org.uk | www.herries.org.uk

Prioritising emotional wellbeing ensures that high academic achievement comes through warmth, support & tailored guidance, specifically designed to meet the needs of your child.

Combining Montessori practice, the National Curriculum, Growth Mindset & Positive Discipline, Meadowbrook teaches children how to learn, not just what to learn, creating responsible individuals ready to tackle life with courage, confidence & accountability. admin@meadowbrook.uk | 01344 890869 | www.meadowbrook.uk

Is your daughter starting school in September 2021?

Come and discover first class learning at Highfield Prep.

Small classes enable our skilled and dedicated teachers to respond to the individual needs of each girl.

View a virtual tour of our school www.highfieldprep.org Book a private zoom tour where you can meet and have your questions answered by the Headteacher, Joanna Leach, as well as see our school in action.

Call 01628 624918 or email office@highfieldprep.org

www.highfieldprep.org 10

Maidenhead Windsor Marlow Ascot Slough Egham

familiesonline.co.uk

Education

How to Improve your Child’s Concentration

By Gail Hugman

If ever there was a time to help your child improve their learning skills, it is now! Even when routines are not disrupted, many young children need help developing the skills of listening and concentration required in the classroom.

Here are some ways you can help your child.

Concentration DEFINE focus and concentration – primary aged children need to feel things in their body to help their brain properly understand the meaning.

To help your child FEEL concentration, ask them to balance a book on their head! After the book has stopped falling off, the giggling has ended and you see that they are focussed, TELL them that what they were feeling whilst trying to balance the book is ‘concentration.’

EXPLAIN that concentration means using all your energy to do one thing at a time. If you get distracted you need to take control inside yourself to get back to the job. Taking control is a grownup thing to do!

Teach the Bubble Strategy (below) to use in class.

Listening

really means and the difference between listening and hearing. For example, hearing is something that happens automatically. Listening is something we DO which means we can get better at it with practice.

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Tell them you’re going to see how well their brain is learning to listen. Say a simple sentence for them to repeat back to you exactly as it was said: e.g. “I put my coat on and went outside to play.”

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Can your child repeat it word perfectly? They might need to do it several times. Suggest they repeat the sentence in their head when you say it because that will help their brain remember it. They can do this when their teacher is speaking to them at school too.

Only around 2% of the population ever have any formal training in listening and yet it’s one of the most important skills we need for learning. Help your child get off to a great start with the following steps:

Gail Hugman is the founder of Lessons Alive. Gail has 46 years’ experience teaching and motivating children to be the best they can be in school and in life. This article contains extracts from her book 100 Things to Learn Before You’re 10, available at www.theendlessbookcase.com.

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For further information, visit www.lessonsalive.com

Talk with your child about what they think listening

The Bubble Strategy

Concentration Exercises

This will help your child manage distraction in the classroom. Talk to your child about the classroom and what distracts them.

This plan is for ten minutes before school each morning for at least one week but can go on throughout the school year or until your child feels they manage to focus well in class.

Substitute and change activities as the weeks go on but always make them timed.

Look at the school timetable and show your child the blocks of time when they need to be listening and concentrating.

Tell them to help their brain focus in the classroom, they need to imagine they are inside a big, invisible bubble. It can be any colour they like!

Inside the bubble all they can hear is their teacher talking; all other noise is outside the bubble and in the distance.

They can shake off their bubble when they go out to play and go back into it in the next lesson.

Give them a small, pretty stone or bead for their pencil case and tell them that every time they see it, it will remind them to concentrate, listen and check that they are using the bubble when they need it.

After school, ask them how their concentration was in the lessons in which it was needed. familiesonline.co.uk

2 minutes warm up each day - choose one of these Throwing ball to wall and catching - this helps to ‘get your brain going’. Throwing ball to person – or hand to hand - and catching. Hopping from foot to foot.

2 minutes learning essentials Copy out 5 words to learn spelling OR copy out and say a times table to learn.

2 minutes to release tension and develop hand control Squeeze a stress ball or equivalent (plasticine).

3 minutes to mentally prepare for the day Look at the timetable and when they will need to focus.

Remind your child about bubble strategy and how to focus.

Check their bag to make sure they have what they need.

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

11

Early Years

The Benefits of Nursery and Things to Consider

By Gabrielle Nash Choosing good quality childcare is one of the most important decisions a parent will make. Whether you are a new parent thinking about returning to work or a stay at home parent considering the options for your toddler, finding a good nursery may very well be your best option.

A day nursery provides a structured and safe environment.

Assessed by Ofsted, the UK’s school and childcare regulator, nurseries have to meet certain requirements in areas like staff ratios and hygiene. Additionally, a quality nursery will support your child’s development by offering a stimulating environment, providing a foundation for school and benefiting their social skills.

Sally is mother to Finn, aged 18 months. She describes the experience of her son starting nursery as amazing, with his development quickly accelerating: “Within weeks, Finn was walking and starting to understand so much more. It’s been wonderful to see how social he’s become and how much he enjoys spending time with the staff as well as other children.”

Assessing whether a nursery is suitable for you and your child, depends largely on your circumstances. If you want a stimulating pre-school environment, then it is undoubtedly a good option.

However, if you are a working parent, who needs to leave the house to go to work, there are a few things to consider.

What hours do you work?

If you have a set start and finish time, this aligns well with a nursery as they generally work on set hours. If you need more

flexibility, you may need to consider your options, because late pick-ups from a nursery are discouraged. Of course, this is less of an issue if you can work from home.

Where do you live and how do you get to work?

The logistics of drop-offs and pick-ups are important when considering childcare options. Is there a nursery on your way to work or close to home?

What is your child’s personality?

Your child may be gregarious and outgoing, in which case nursery is ideal. Or you may have a more reserved child, for whom a large nursery could be overwhelming. With babies, this is more difficult to assess. It’s worth remembering that a nursery may not offer the same one-to-one care as a childminder or nanny, but they will have more staff in a baby room.

For more from Gaby, follow her on Instagram @thelondonishmum

nurseries We are a family run group of nurseries delivering the very best childcare and education for children from 3 months to 5 years

What to Check Out Word of mouth. Whilst the regulator’s report is important, local parents’ recommendations are also useful, so speak to others about their nursery choices.

Parental visit. Sometimes a nursery can seem chaotic with lots of noise and potentially crying, but this does not necessarily reflect the nursery’s quality. Are you greeted warmly? Do the staff seem stressed or responsive?

Staff. Ask about staff turnover, staff ratios and whether your child would have a “key person.”

Park House Nursery, Cookham Little Willows Nursery (0-2 yrs), Flackwell Heath Willow Tree Nursery (2-5 yrs), Flackwell Heath Beeches Nursery, Burnham Sunninghill Nursery Treetops Nursery, Henley William Street Nursery, Windsor

Environment. This should be clean, not necessarily tidy! The children should have regular and structured access to the outside, as this supports their physical development.

Play. Young children learn best through play. Ask about the options and how activities are introduced.

Routine. How does the nursery meet basic needs? eg meals, hygiene, and naps. Does the environment for these seem appropriate?

Child’s progress. How are parents updated on their child’s progress?

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Open 51 weeks a year – Accepts 30 hours funding – Highly trained team Come and look around today: Call: 01753 855543 or email: info@theriversidedaynursery.co.uk www.theriversidedaynursery.co.uk familiesonline.co.uk

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13

Early Years

What to Do When Childcare Isn’t Working?

By Sharon Betts

No matter how much research goes into our choices, sometimes Remember that young children are adaptable. Every day is a new our childcare arrangements don’t work out as we planned. For a learning experience for them, and change, when approached variety of reasons, the nursery that your best friend raves about appropriately, can be an adventure and not a disruption. can turn out not to suit your child’s needs.

Ultimately, childcare should deliver peace of mind and that is My daughter attended a nursery that many other families told me certainly achievable when you have an arrangement that’s right was great, mainly due to its close proximity to the station. This for you. of of yourmeant advertisement for the it was possible to get into the City by 9am (if you handed Nursery Check List over child at 8am on the dot!). But when our child was 107) of Families e.of Families TVE.yourTVE. handed back to us at the end of the day, she was often covered in Know what you want. Make a list of what is important to you and what areas you are flexible about. Do you have strict hours to grime, had soiled clothing and was hurriedly given to us amongst stick to? Does childcare need to be close to your home or place anIS avalanche of especially other parents all arriving on the same train. This ORMATION CORRECT of work? How far away from home are you willing to travel? Does simply didn’t work for us. ers and addresses.

Thankfully, there was available space at an alternative pre-school, the location need to fit around your other commitments?

Check the Ofsted rating of providers by visiting their Ofsted a slower, more gentle approach and, due to its location, made at thiswith stage.

T: 07867 514138 / page 07753and 414605 reading all reports and letters past and present. there was less of a bun fight at drop off and pick up.

Thankfully I will be charged for.a position to adapt my needs to what was available was in where E: editor@familiestveast.co.uk Do ask other parents about their experiences but know that others were more beholden to office hours and strict routine. their opinion is subjective to their own list of needs which may Littlechild.

People 29be Furrow Way, n either to Iamend or approve your was also fortunate that my daughter was my second I Media, well different to yours. already knew of most of the childcare options in my area and Maidenhead SL6 3When NY you visit, make sure you see how the children interact had the confidence as a parent to understand that change was with the staff and each other. A good provider will offer a calm required. environment where children feel free to be themselves, whether For first time parents, it may be challenging to get to the heart of that is noisy or calm, inquisitive or introspective. what good quality care looks like for you. But, if the arrangement Go with your gut – sometimes a setting just feels right. If it fulfils you have doesn’t feel right, you can re-arrange your choices. your logistical criteria and you get a good feeling about it, trust Choosing a new provider doesn’t necessarily mean starting your instincts! from scratch, because having experienced care that you believe If you need help working out the best care for your family, or have doesn’t suit your needs, you will be more aware of what is any questions about what to do when your childcare isn’t working important to you and your family. By eliminating what you don’t out as planned, visit www.parentalchoice.co.uk want, you get closer to what will work.

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Health

New Year’s Mental Health Resolutions for Your Family

By Helen Spiers On 1 January 2020, many of us were making resolutions about healthy eating, exercise or giving up bad habits, with no idea that a global catastrophe was on its way. The impact of the pandemic is huge, with mental health suffering particularly.

So let’s use our 2021 resolutions to focus on being kinder to ourselves. By prioritising our family’s mental health, we’ll be happier, more energised, and ready to face whatever the ‘new normal’ has in store.

Resolution 1: Be More Open As a counsellor, young people tell me things that they couldn’t say to their parents. They may be worried about hurting their feelings or about their reaction. In other households, talking about feelings may be seen as shameful. But by hiding our own mental health difficulties, we’re not protecting our children, we’re promoting shame and secrecy. Open up about your own emotions and let your children know that we all get scared, sad and angry at times.

Resolution 2: Spend More Time Together Screens and social media played a big part in the lockdown narrative, and many bad habits were formed. While it may offer short-term respite, excessive screen-time and social media negatively impact on so many areas of a child’s health and development. Resolutions that restrict or deprive children, however, will be met with frustration and resentment. Instead, resolve to spend more time together - be it a weekly games night or long Sunday walks. You’ll reduce screen-time, improve

your relationships, and support your child’s development, communication skills and emotional well-being.

Resolution 3: Build on Strengths Diets fail and gym memberships gather dust because things we don’t find fun are hard to sustain. It’s the same for children.

Encourage your child to set positive resolutions. Maybe they’re going to take on their most ambitious Lego project yet or become an even better dancer. Focussing on strengths will build their resilience and give them more faith in their own abilities, making them more able to cope with adversity.

With such busy lives it’s hard to prioritise our well-being - it’s often ignored until something goes wrong. This New Year, be proactive and instigate long-term changes for your family’s health and happiness.

Helen Spiers is Head of Child and Adolescent Counselling at Mable Therapy which works with schools and private individuals through a bespoke online platform.

For more information, visit www.mabletherapy.com

Building Resilience In recent years there’s been a surge in schools adopting a ‘growth mindset’ approach in order to build resilience in children.

This is a welcome shift towards promoting mental health as it encourages children to embrace challenges and persevere when things get tough. For those who find learning easy, they’re encouraged to push themselves out of their comfort zone, and for those who struggle it celebrates effort over achievement.

By making 2021 the start of your family’s growth mindset approach, you’ll be helping to improve your child’s coping skills and self-esteem. If they believe that getting top marks makes them a successful person, they’ll seek constant validation and avoid any situations where they may fail.

Tactile Toys and a Highly Effective Developmental Resource The eight My Mood Stars enable children to immerse themselves in imaginative play, either by themselves or with others. This offers a fun opportunity for children to talk about how they are feeling. Use the stars and their board to set the scene for endless stories and games to be made with characters being timid, sad, angry, happy, sleepy, surprised, scared and silly!

Messages such as ‘wouldn’t it be boring if we got everything right first time?’ and “I love how hard you’re trying with this” will arm them with the resilience and self-esteem needed to face new challenges.

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editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

ToMy find outStars more about Mood Mood have provedMy to be a veryStars, effectivevisit toy for children to talk about and acknowledge ourencouraging website www.mymoodstars.co.uk or their feelings as well as the feelings of others. call: 07711 100533

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15

Health

Focus on Health

Many new year magazine issues have a health focus in January, however this year it seems so much more poignant after the 2020 we’ve all been through!

Think about what works for you and your family in 2021. Some key health & fitness professionals help by sharing their tips, plus check out some clubs and classes to help kids keep fit.

Fancy getting into shape this year?…

Nicola Porter, Founder and Trainer shares five tips from Move Happy Fitness to get you started: 1. There’s no need to go it alone! Group Exercise or working out with a friend makes you much more likely to succeed.

Research shows you’ll get bonus endorphins too!

2. If you’ve had a break from exercise, go for a little and often approach. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to boost energy, metabolism, and strength. You’ll also build confidence and connection with your body, and see how much more is possible!

3. Remember exercise can be fun. If the thought of running/swimming puts you off, find something else instead! There are so many ways to move your body.

4. Train smarter not harder. Listen to your body. Great if you love high intensity or strength training (we do too!) but prioritise your rest days as well. Also consider cross-training with something restorative like Pilates or Yoga.

5. Be realistic and kind to yourself. If you miss a scheduled workout, look at why that happened but don’t give up.

Tomorrow is another day!

To find out more about classes on offer visit www.movehappyfitness.co.uk

Get fit as a family

Enjoying being physically active as a family helps your children prioritise their physical health and mental wellbeing. Use a Wii Fit, do an exercise class, go for a long muddy walk or make your own obstacle courses. PE with Joe Wicks was the hit of 2020 Please findare below proof of your advertisement forYouTube the and there loadsa of child-friendly workouts on his channel. The Baby Exercise App great classes Nov/Dec 2019 issue (No. 105) ofhas Families TVE. for you and your baby. Or combine dance and yoga with Disco Yoga with Cosmic Kids on YouTube. Our six year olds love Popsico on Please CHECK INFORMATION IS CORRECT YouTube too asALL it’s part of their morning routine atespecially school and they love encouraging us toand join addresses. in. You could even hold your dates, telephone numbers own family disco or dance off in the kitchen! Also don’t forget to check out the following clubs and classes with a range of local Any changes need to be made at this stage. sports and hobbies to try:

The benefits of tummy time

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Louise Prince from Mind, Body and Baby shares her knowledge about ‘Baby’s Tummy Time’ which helps support your baby’s future posture and development.

• Always seek professional advice - there are classes available which will support you to get this right.

• Encourage tummy time from birth • It is never too late to start - all adults especially new mums should follow tummy time!

• Baby should always be happy and awake when laying on their tummy.

• You should always supervise tummy time.

• Start with short moments and build up to longer happy time on their tummy.

Louise Prince MCHTA MCMA has 20 years’ experience teaching Baby Massage and Movement and has created simple but effective courses for parents. Louise covers winding effectively, building confidence, tummy time, posture and development through play and massage. Socially distanced CV-19 safe group massage classes are aimed at newborn to 8 weeks, developmental classes from 2 to 6 months and Progressive classes from 6 to 9 months. Each is 2 hours long to allow relaxation and learning. www.mindbodyandbump.co.uk 07711 938856 for more information or booking.

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Parenting Create a time capsule The start of a new year is the perfect time to make a time capsule – a collection of treasures and memories that your children can hide away for their future self. Get your children to record facts about themselves (friends, favourite things, hobbies etc) and to trace around their hand. You could also include today’s newspaper, some photos of your house and street, mementos from the year and a letter about their lives right now.

Another great project for older children is to use online software to design a calendar for the year, full of family photos and important birthdays.

Prioritise your mental health Mental health has been challenged by the pandemic. So let’s use our 2021 resolutions to focus on being kinder to ourselves, which will make us happier, more energised, and ready to face whatever the ‘new normal’ has in store. Active Personal Development runs one to one sessions for children on reducing anxiety, gaining confidence and building resilience, as well as also offering coaching for parents. Take a look at www.activepersonaldevelopment.co.uk for more information.

Finding fun in tough times Entertaining the kids through the colder months can be a challenge at the best of times. Throw in a global pandemic and it starts to look pretty impossible, with many events cancelled or running at reduced capacity. On top of that, the family and friends support network we all rely upon is limited.

At the time of writing, it is unclear whether the new year will bring further full lockdowns, or whether mass vaccinations might mean greater freedoms. No wonder many of us are finding our morale and inspiration running low.

So we’ve put together some ideas to help you keep your children amused – indoors, outdoors or by visiting some sure-fire venues that are likely to be open for business. It goes without saying that life is changing rapidly, so do check out individual websites before you visit.

Nurture nature We’re not the only ones to struggle during winter. It can be a very difficult time for wildlife, with plummeting temperatures and scarce supplies. Feed garden birds regularly with food with a high fat content to help keep them warm. You could try making your own fat block or peanut cakes. Making an insect or bug hotel is great fun and especially appreciated by overwintering ladybirds and lacewings. Get the children to help sow some seeds indoors for early crops (try lettuce, cauliflowers or sweet peas) – www.gardenersworld.com has some great projects for gardeners-in-training.

Get your bake-on Cooking with the kids is a great way to fill an hour – the trade-off for the chaos is something delicious to eat afterwards.

You’ll also be instilling skills that mean one day you can sit back while tea is cooked for you! A new year is often a time we resolve to eat healthier, and BBC Good Food has some nutritious and simple recipe ideas that will keep the whole family happy – from homemade fish fingers to pasta with tomato and hidden veg sauce. Or try Little Cooks co recipe boxes. Put together by a local mum and nutritionist, the boxes ensure you have all the dry ingredients you need to complete your healthy bake.

Show some love With Valentine’s Day around the corner, it’s a great time to spread some love. Encourage the kids to draw pictures for an elderly relative, or to choose some groceries for a food bank. Celebrate February 14th at home by creating a themed dinner party as a family, complete with heart-shaped pizzas, a chocolate fondue and a beautifully decorated table.

Support local Your local theatres, farm parks, soft plays and museums have had a really tough year. Sadly, some have shut down, but many are still running some shows or smaller-scale events. Check out their social media pages or websites for full details. Here are some of our favourites for families: Theatres: Norden Farm Centre for the Arts in Maidenhead; The Theatre Royal in Windsor Farm parks: Odds Farm Park near Beaconsfield Museums: Maidenhead Heritage Centre; Windsor and Royal Borough Museum; The River & Rowing Museum, Henley-onThames; The Chiltern Open Air Museum, Chalfont

Make a walk fun Adults like to walk for the sake of it, but that can sometimes be lost on children. Jazz it up by hunting for a geocache, or challenging the kids to photograph the most beautiful bird, tallest tree or stunning view. A scavenger hunt – where they’re tasked to find various natural materials – also adds a ‘purpose’ and you can use the items to make a collage when you get home. Shake up your usual route with some new places – why not try some National Trust grounds like Cliveden, Basildon Park, Grey’s Court, Hughenden Manor or even The Vyne? There’s no shortage of picturesque spots in the area either. Meander along the river in Cookham, Henley or Hurley, follow the lake at Dinton Pastures in Hurst, Black Park in Wexham or Virginia Water, or take a leisurely walk in Burnham Beeches. Windsor Great Park has much to offer with numerous walks and if you’re lucky you might even spot some deer in the deer park! The Woodland Trust also has some great tips on how to identify wildlife www.woodlandtrust.org.uk familiesonline.co.uk

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17

Parenting

Help! My Child Wants to Use Social Media

By Andrew Campbell

Social media plays a huge role in the lives of young people. They can use it to have fun, make and maintain friendships, connect with family members, express creativity, share interests and develop skills.

However, social media also comes with undeniable risks, including exposure to upsetting or inappropriate content, cyberbullying, grooming and even FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out).

No wonder many parents are confused as to when the right time is to allow their child access to it. Whilst it can be overwhelming, before you say ‘no’ to everything social, or worse, turn a blind eye to what your child is doing, take time to make an informed decision that is appropriate for your child.

Consider your Child’s Age and Maturity Try to wait until they are at least 13 Most popular social media platforms don’t allow anyone under 13 to join without parental consent. The reason for this is that much of the critical thinking required to deal with the content on these platforms may not be possible for developing brains. Even when your child turns 13, it doesn’t mean they suddenly acquire the necessary maturity for social media, especially given this is a time when they are undergoing significant

developmental changes. On the other hand, it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that your 11 year old may be sufficiently responsible, sensible and trustworthy enough to handle the online world. Regardless of your child’s age, you should carefully consider their actual emotional maturity before allowing them access to social media.

Use your judgement Deciding if your child is ready for social media is a very personal parental decision, much like determining when your child can cross the road or walk to school alone. Perhaps better questions are how much supervision will you provide if you permit your child on social media, and how will you protect them?

Will your child be honest about online interactions?

If your child comes to you with problems such as trouble at school, poor test results or friendship issues, then you most likely have a comfortable and healthy line of communication.

Do they follow other established rules?

An emotionally mature child will be respectful of other rules in the house, like doing chores or completing their homework. This may indicate they are mature enough to have social media accounts.

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Setting Rules for Social Media Use If you decide your child is ready for social media, agree some basic rules.

Set up profiles with your child so you have all the logins and passwords; Keep privacy settings on. When possible, set everything to ‘private;’ Keep devices out of the bedroom.

Children who get in trouble online often do so when devices are located in the bedroom; Agree time limits but don’t forget it’s more important to understand what they’re doing online; Make sure you can friend and follow. You can then monitor what they post; Posting appropriate content and images.

Explain that their posts could be available to anyone, anywhere and forever; Keep private information private. Phone numbers, addresses and other personal information should never be given out; Ensure other interests are maintained including friends/pastimes that don’t involve a device; Don’t ‘friend’ strangers. ‘If you don’t know them, don’t friend them.’

Prepare for consequences when rules are broken. This may mean losing their device or access to social media.

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Parenting

The Guilty Parent Syndrome

By Dr Jan MacGregor Hepburn As a parent, do you feel constantly guilty? About what you’ve said/done or not said/done? If so, you’d be forgiven for thinking that guilt and parenting must be inextricably linked and you would be right! BUT they don’t have to be.

There are three factors to consider, although they often get mixed up together.

Firstly, a child takes good parenting for granted. Children are meant to be self-interested. This is how they grow into adults who can take care of other people.

If you force your child to be grateful and think about you rather than themselves, you won’t get a nicely rounded and kind adult.

You’ll get someone unhappy and driven by guilt, or someone very resentful. All the things you do right for your child should be taken for granted. They will just complain about the mistakes you’ve made and this can make you feel guilty.

When your child is ungrateful for your good parenting, remember, they are meant to be like this, and you are meant to be angry and resentful sometimes. These bad thoughts can also make you feel guilty, even if you are always nothing but outwardly kind!

Finally, there is definitely a kind of ‘bad parent’ narrative in our society. Parents are blamed if their child has problems or misbehaves. You can see it in any shopping centre. A child has a tantrum, their parent is harassed beyond words and onlookers suck their teeth and disapprove. No-one offers any help, or even a sympathetic smile. These kinds of judgements can make you feel guilty.

So why should you not feel guilty?

•

There is no such thing as the perfect parent and when you make mistakes, your child is learning how to manage life by watching how you deal with them. They can’t develop personal security if they aren’t able to work through the problems and mistakes they will inevitably have and make.

•

No-one should feel guilty about thoughts and wishes. You can’t help how you feel, you can only help what you do.

•

People judge because of their own difficulties: it really does say more about them than you. They are the ones who should feel guilty, for being judgmental – but, of course, they don’t. They are making you feel it instead!

Dr Jan McGregor Hepburn is a Psychoanalytic Psychotherapist and part of the team at nscience.uk Her new book, Shame & Guilt, is published by nscience Publishing.

For more info, visit www.nscience.uk

A Parent’s Place is in the ...Wrong This quote has been used to describe how parents’ ideas about childbirth and bringing up children are often disregarded. However, it can also reflect how parents feel within themselves when faced with the challenges of bringing up a child. And if you feel you are in the wrong, you feel guilty. But you are not usually in the wrong. Everyone makes mistakes.

What is important in life is to put mistakes right when you make them. Seeing you do this is how children learn to be independent grown-ups who can manage themselves. They take in how you think about anything that’s gone wrong and how you try and correct it.

So don’t be afraid to apologise when you have made a mistake. Seeing you do this is really good learning for the children (as well as for adults sometimes!).

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19

Book Club @clara_vulliamy

@claravulliamy

As we’re always saying, here at Families, we love nothing more than a good book and, sharing stories with our children has become an important part of family life. This month, Rachel Bailey talks to Clara Vulliamy about following in Shirley Hughes’ footsteps and her new series Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar, which published last summer.

The latest book in the series, Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar in Hollywood, is out this month and to celebrate, Families have two sets of all three books up for grabs!

As Shirley Hughes’ daughter you must’ve grown up with books. Did you always know that you wanted to be a writer/illustrator yourself?

With hindsight I don’t think it was ever in doubt. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree as they say! But my mum didn’t put any pressure on me, or even suggest it, she stepped back and left me to find my own way. I always loved to read and to make up stories, and above all to paint and draw. At the end of the day she would leave her paints out on the kitchen table for me to use up; she said it was like scraping the last bits of icing from the bowl after baking.

Perhaps the most important thing was for me to see that it could be a career, not just a hobby. Alongside bringing up three children she always worked, and was always very professional and committed.

What was it like working together on your Dixie O’ Day series?

It was a fantastic experience. The first – and only – time the great Shirley Hughes has handed over the role of illustrating one of her books to someone else, what an honour! We sat at that same kitchen table in the family home, bouncing ideas around and dreaming up stories. Once we had decided that the Dixie series would be Wacky Races meets Morecambe and Wise BUT DOGS, the rest was plain sailing.

The Marshmallow Pie series published last August. Did you always plan to write the 3rd book so quickly or did you find you had more time to write during Lockdown?

Working in lockdown has been unlike anything else I have ever experienced. I have certainly had more time, as there is nothing else to do and nowhere to go…

so what could be more fun than jumping on a plane and heading to the glamour and bright lights of Hollywood – even if only in my imagination!

Pie has a huge personality and a very distinctive voice – I know him so well now, and love to see the world through his eyes. When I talk to children about writing their own stories, I often recommend trying the ‘first person’ or ‘own voice’ narrative: it’s such a good way to immediately get inside the head of your main character.

What comes first, the illustrations or the story?

I hope this isn’t cheating, but the truthful answer is: an illustration, then the story, then the illustrations.

I always start with a drawing, a character sketch of my main character or characters (in this case, Pie and his owner Amelia). I’m a very visual person, so to get to know them I need to really see them on the page. Then I write the story, and my editor helps me to make it the very best it can be. Only when every word is perfect do I move on to the illustrations.

Do you have a favourite author/ illustrator you’d love to collaborate with?

I would love to collaborate with an author from a community or group who are under-represented in the world of children’s publishing. We need new voices and for children of all races and backgrounds to see themselves in books. And things are changing at last, these are exciting times.

You’ve said you like writing lists. I love a list! Usually scribbled on scraps of paper. Do you have lots of scribbled ideas and abandoned lists, or is your work space very neat and tidy?

I’m afraid my work space is chaotically UNTIDY. I am obsessed with lists (not least because if I don’t write something down I instantly forget it). But I also like lists for fun. The other day I made a list of all the different ways to eat a potato in order of favourite to least favourite.

Roasted, chips and mash at the top, watery over-boiled at the bottom. Who would guess I’m not getting out much these days!

January is a time to make resolutions and changes for the year ahead. Is there anything you’re going to do differently this year?

This year has been so tough for everybody, and I am really full of admiration for the way everyone has kept going. So I think that none of us should be making resolutions that are difficult to keep. Make more lists perhaps, or eat more cake? A list of favourite cakes might be fun…

Marshmallow Pie the Cat Superstar in Hollywood is available now priced £6.99. www.claras.me

WIN

Families have two sets of the Marshmallow Pie books to give away to two lucky readers. For your chance to win, all you have to do is answer the question below and email your answer to competitions@familiestveast.co.uk What is Marshmallow Pie? A: A Sweet treat B: A Cat C: A Dog Closing date for entries is 28 Feb 2021 20

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She Means Business

The Impact of Covid-19 on Working Mums

By Mandy Garner The Covid-19 pandemic has been hard for many individuals and groups, with working mums, particularly single working mums, being one of them.

But the picture is complex. Women dominate in many of the most risky frontline sectors such as health, social care and education and in some of the hardest hit sectors such as hospitality and retail. Part-time jobs, traditionally done by women, have seen a precipitous fall, BUT women are less likely to be unemployed than men and many have gone into full-time roles.

Then there is self-employment which has seen a big decline.

A recent report from IPSE and Starling Bank showed women freelancers have been hardest hit financially by late payments of money owed to them and the associated mental impact and women-led businesses have suffered disproportionately.

What is clear is that the impact of childcare problems during the pandemic has been most keenly felt by women, with countless studies, including our own surveys, showing women have been carrying most of the childcare/home schooling burden, despite dads increasing their input generally.

Though schools and childcare are back, informal childcare bubbles are allowed and single parents/grandparents can extend their bubbles to another household, our latest

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survey shows there are still huge challenges, from lockdown restrictions to school or year group closures. Just 48% of mums said their childcare was back to normal after schools and nurseries reopened, with 14% lacking wraparound care and 10% lacking help with drop-offs. Others had children with special needs who were staying at home or had no access to school.

The practical as well as mental health impact of all this uncertainty and constant change is huge and, on the positive side, some employees have risen to the challenge, providing regular check-ins, communications, advice and support.

The normalisation of flexible working and the groundswell of support for hybrid working in the future are also a big positive for women and could help not only attract and retain more women in the workforce but, if senior jobs are routinely advertised with flexible working, could increase their chances of promotion too.

But there are provisos. Most importantly, the pandemic has underscored the central role of childcare in keeping women in the workplace and the necessity for childcare to be viewed not as a private issue for each family, but as a fundamental part of the economic infrastructure. Childcare providers need more investment. Many say they could close as a result of the pandemic and the ongoing issues around funding for three and four year olds. Without affordable childcare, women will simply not be able to work.

Despite many employers increasing their engagement with staff during the pandemic, a recent US study, Women in the Workplace (https://womenintheworkplace.com), published by McKinsey and Lean In, highlights that relatively few have taken steps to adjust the norms and expectations that are most likely responsible for employee stress and burnout.

Less than a third of companies have, for instance, adjusted their performance review criteria to account for the challenges created by the pandemic and only about half have updated employees on their plans for performance reviews or their productivity expectations during the pandemic. It says the result is more women dropping out of the workforce or not being promoted. Covid-19 has highlighted the yawning gap between good and bad employers which must be addressed, with claims of sex discrimination also likely to see a big rise.

So, while the impact of the pandemic on women is varied, we must go forward with our eyes open about the challenges ahead, continue to monitor what is happening on the ground and address the issues that are barriers to women’s full and equal participation in the workforce. The Government’s ‘Build back better’ message has a focus on construction - one of the industries where women are least represented. We must rebuild the economy in a way that ensures that no one group gets left behind.

Mandy Garner is Managing Editor of Working Mums (www.workingmums.co.uk) where you will find the reports referenced in this article.

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

21

She Means Business

Working with Little Ones at Home

By Dr Sarah Mundy If you are anything like me, you’ll be thinking that your multitasking skills were pushed to the limit before Covid came along! Working from home whilst looking after a pre-schooler isn’t easy so here are my tips on how to maximise your work time whilst still meeting your little one’s needs.

Have a Fixed Workspace Establishing a fixed workspace close to your children helps them understand when you are working and enables you to closely supervise them. Explain why you are not able to be with them all the time - it is not because you don’t want to be but because you have other things you must do.

Routines Toddlers can only amuse themselves for short periods and some will need more attention than others. So establish when you will/won’t be working and have clear plans/tasks for your child during work times. You may need to start an activity with them before you can start work.

reset both of your emotional thermostats!

Let your Children Entertain Themselves (sometimes).

You are not letting them down! Think of independent play positively – it helps children learn how to manage emotions, deal with being bored and develop independence. They’ll soon let you know if they are not coping with being alone.

Connect with Others Share the load! If you have extended family, schedule some regular video calls with grandparents for story time or catch ups with your children. Bear in mind, some toddlers really enjoy this whilst others become quickly distracted.

Adjust your Work Schedules.

Perhaps some work in the early morning or late evening when your little ones are asleep? This gives you distraction-free time and takes the pressure off the rest of your day. Try to ensure meetings and phone calls are scheduled during nap times as much as possible.

Screen Time Sometimes we need screens. They can be used really positively in moderation to entertain and educate children.

Let others know your situation Let your colleagues know that you have a little one at home so they are more understanding if you are distracted.

Get Outside Get some fresh air in your break times. Use this as an opportunity for some high energy play with children. This can

Dr Sarah Mundy is Consultant Clinical Psychologist and Author of Parenting Through Stories. More info at www.parentingthroughstories.com

Can Toddlers Play Alone?

Independent Play

Yes! Toddlers aren’t the best risk assessors and they need us near them. But we needn’t attend to their every movement minute by minute.

Children need us around, but we don’t always need to direct the play. If a child has a secure attachment, they will treat you as a safe base from which to explore, returning to you before embarking on another adventure!

Toddlerhood is a time for exploring the world with curiosity.

Young children can do this on their own (at least some of the time) as long as they feel safe.

So, a calm environment, with guidance around what they can do is key. Have options for activities available, some of which you will need to set up with/for your child, but remember they may also happily skip off to something they are interested in.

Be flexible and led by them.

Young children differ in how long they can play alone – the length of time depends on their age and interest in the activity.

Check in with them periodically. If they are engrossed, don’t interrupt; if they are distracted or stressed, try to redirect them or provide comfort and remember their physical needs (tiredness/hunger/toileting). Praise them for playing nicely and remind them that you are still there.

22

Activities to encourage independent play are: Traditional toys with a clear function eg train tracks.

Role play activities. Ask your toddler to make you some tea or clean the house, using a play kitchen or hoover, if you have them.

Multiple-use objects eg pots, pans and cardboard boxes allow their creativity to run wild!

Familiar music (nothing too hectic – neither of you need overstimulating!) can help children feel calm and engaged.

Outside time. Not only is the outdoors a sensory rich space to spark curiosity and help with development, you may be surprised how a quick work call can be made whilst your little one is stomping in puddles!

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She Means Business Interview Families interviews Bernice at Little Learners who runs messy play and mark making classes for the under 5s in Maidenhead (and soon coming to Windsor and Slough). In particular we hear how she has coped during a very testing 2020 for all small businesses (not to mention having a new baby in lockdown too!)

Who are you and where are you based?

My name is Bernice and I run Little Learners Windsor, Maidenhead and Slough. I live with my husband and two little boys (one of whom was born during the recent 4 week lockdown!) in Maidenhead. My messy play classes are based in Maidenhead, with future classes coming to Windsor and Slough!

Tell us a bit about the business?

Little Learners offers messy play and mark making classes for little ones aged 5 months to 5 years. We always include messy trays, play dough, paint and fine motor activities for a range of ages. The mark making aspect is early writing literally making marks, be it on paper, with paint, or in sand, etc. This is achieved through all the physical development that goes on in messy play. Squeezing, reaching, grabbing, pouring - it all contributes to fine and gross motor skills as well as core strength and coordination.

Best of all, children are able to learn through play, which is so important in the early years.

What did you use to do? Did you change career to do this?

I was, and still am, an Early Years Teacher.

I didn’t change career so much as slowly ease out of school teaching. When I first started Little Learners I was still teaching part time and recently stopped altogether to focus on the business. Also it is not a drastic career change as I’m still working with little ones, which I love, and I get to use the knowledge and experience I built up as a teacher.

What inspired you to set up the business?

After having my first little boy, I didn’t want to go back to full time work and instead taught part time once maternity leave was over. However, being with my children was and is a priority and I felt that there had to be something out there that could be more family-friendly and flexible than teaching. I found Little Learners by chance and was immediately drawn to the concept behind it and the fact that it was something I enjoy and familiesonline.co.uk

am experienced in (learning in the early years). A big draw was that I could take my children to classes!

How have things been for you during the pandemic?

It’s actually been a very exciting time for me. I was unable to run classes during the first lockdown, which could easily have been seen as a negative, but in fact it became a positive experience as it lead to me doing things I would never have done otherwise. I stepped out of my comfort zone a lot; I ran online classes and recorded videos and Facebook Lives showcasing free activities and learning ideas for parents to try at home. I really upped my social media game and as a result ended up with fresh ideas to try in classes, made many new connections, and gained a lot of potential new customers. It made me excited for the future! Classes reopened briefly and with the pandemic a lot of things have changed about how sessions run, but they are still just as enjoyable and enriching and are designed to keep families safe. I should also mention that I was pregnant throughout all of this and had my second little boy recently - as I said it’s been an exciting time!

What are your plans for the future?

I believe in setting small goals for myself to reach the big goal, and then the even bigger goals - I’m not sure what the big goal is yet, but at the moment, my plan is to add more classes to my timetable, in a wider area that extends to Windsor and Slough as well as through Maidenhead.

I am planning to offer different kinds of classes, for example sensory classes aimed at the youngest babies, or messy play for school-aged children with SEND. I’m also keen to bring my sessions to schools and nurseries.

What would your advice be to other business women?

I would say don’t be afraid, and have a positive mindset. Believe people when they say owning a business is hard work.

Some very good advice I received, which I have already mentioned briefly, is about goals - set small, achievable goals for yourself. It’s like walking up a flight of stairs, but only looking at one step at a time. You will get to where you want to be.

You can find out more about Little Learners by emailing bernice@ littlelearnersuk.com or text/phone her on 07944478517.

For details on our classes, parties and events contact Bernice at bernice@littlelearnersuk.com or call 07944478517 editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

23

THE GREAT BRITISH ESCAPE

S T O K E PA R K Stoke Park is a luxury 5 AA Red Star Hotel, Spa and Country Club set within 300 acres of beautiful parkland and offers world-class sporting and leisure facilities.

FACILITIES INCLUDE: • 49 Bedrooms and Suites • Award winning Spa • 27 hole Championship Golf Course • David Leadbetter Golf Academy • 3 Restaurants and Bars, including Humphry’s (3 AA Rosettes) • 13 Tennis Courts (indoor, grass and artificial clay) • 2 Padel Courts • Indoor Pool • State-of-the-art Gym with Fitness, Hot Yoga and Spinning Studios hosting up to 75 classes per week • Tinies Kids Club and Crèche • Games Room • Playground

Only 30 minutes from London, and a short drive from both Windsor and Heathrow Airport.

For Hotel Reservations please call 01753 717171 or email reservations@stokepark.com | Stoke Park, Park Road, Stoke Poges, Buckinghamshire SL2 4PG | www.stokepark.com

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Beanstalk is a trading name of KidStart Limited.01628 KidStart by familiesonline.co.uk editor@familiestveast.co.uk 788058 Limited is authorised and Familiesregulated Thames Valley East the Financial Conduct Authority. Our FCA number is 473606.

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Education

Learning Challenges for Kids From Bella Learning, these are open-ended, purposeful tasks, differentiated by age, that your child can do as part of home-schooling or at the weekend.

Challenge 1

Challenge 2

Challenge 3

Create a poster.

Create a rainbow collage.

Audit your toys.

Challenge 4

Challenge 5

Challenge 6

Celebrate a story.

Make a family tree.

Make a sunshine picture.

Challenge 7

Challenge 8

Challenge 9

Create an observation chart. familiesonline.co.uk

Interview a relative.

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Make a treasure hunt.

Families Thames Valley East

Health

Support Your Child’s Mental Health Help your child to understand how they are feeling and why with these free downloadable resources from PlanBee.

Feelings and Emotions Cards

These cards will get your child thinking and talking about feelings.

Design your Own Emotion Emojis

Your child can draw emojis that represent their feelings.

Worry Monster Activity Sheets

Help your child deal with their emotions.

28

Mood Tracker

Children can express emotions they are experiencing by colouring in an object.

Synonym Emotions Booklet

Identify words that are similar to emotions like angry, sad and happy.

Draw the Emotion

Feeling Check-in Cards

Emoji Emotion Faces Cards

Mindfulness Colouring Sheets

Challenge your children Check in with your to think about how different emotions are child and see what they are feeling. expressed facially.

Ask your child to talk about when they’ve felt these feelings.

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Perfect to help young minds relax.

familiesonline.co.uk

New Year

New Year’s Resolution Ideas for Children Pre-School

Ages 5 to 8

I need to brush my teeth every morning and before going to bed.

I need to go to bed on time every night.

I need to wash my hands before every meal.

I will start eating at least three fruits and vegetables every day.

I will start doing my chores every day.

I will stop fighting with my brother/sister/others.

I will stop interrupting when someone is talking.

I will learn how to tell an adult if I see anyone being bullied.

I need to wash my hands after going to the bathroom and before I eat anything.

I am going to start tasting a new food every week.

I am going to start listening to my mum/dad.

I will learn a new word every day.

I will learn how to help clear the table when I have finished eating.

I will stop hitting my brother/ sister/others.

Ages 9 to 11

I will learn to make a simple meal.

I will learn how to tidy my room properly.

I want to choose one author and read every book they have written.

I will start having one screen free day every week.

I want to save ÂŁ20 in my piggy bank.

I need to eat fruit or vegetables with every meal.

I need to do my homework before anything else after school.

I will stop leaving my clothes on the floor.

familiesonline.co.uk

editor@familiestveast.co.uk 01628 788058

Families Thames Valley East

Family Life

Handling Co-Parenting Differences

The Guilty Parent Syndrome

By Rebecca Giraud and Bob Greig

By Dr Jan MacGregor Hepburn

Co-parenting is not easy, mistakes can and will be made but it’s the effort that we as parents put in that will really be of long-term benefit to our children. After all, loving our children is what we have in common with our ex-partner.

READ MORE

As a parent, do you feel constantly guilty? About what you’ve said/done or not said/ done? If so, you’d be forgiven for thinking that guilt and parenting must be inextricably linked. And you would be right! BUT they don’t have to be…....

READ MORE

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Photos by Venture Studios

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