CLASSIC (non-faith-based version): VOL 4

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY. PROTECT YOURSELF FROM VICTIMIZATION.

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FOR GIRLS

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL (CLASSIC) Copyright © 2023 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

ISBN: 979-8-9862965-2-4 Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. Other Photography Dreamstime and Unsplash.

Welcome to Journey 4!

Dear Reader, You are called to be a Brave Heart.

She listens. In this next section, you are called to listen to wisdom.

We will give you tools to protect yourself from being coerced and victimized into sex trafficking by friends, schoolmates, online predators, or strangers—people you know or don’t know well— in person or online. Our heart is for you to not walk in fear, but instead walk in wisdom and confidence! May this publication empower you to protect yourself and others you care about.

TWO MILLION WOMEN MISSING EACH YEAR: Susan Tiefenbrun, a professor at the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego, California, discovered after extensive human trafficking research that more than two million women are missing each year due to being bought and sold for sexual exploitation.

• Take a moment to ponder this fact.

• Allow this crisis to touch your heart.

ANTI-SEX-TRAFFICKING is a justice issue and a cause we invite you to join. Have the courage to LISTEN and be moved in your heart.

Let us make a difference together!

Michele Okimura Executive Director, Explicit Movement

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PORNOGRAPHY

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SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

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SEX TRAFFICKING

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VOICES OF FREEDOM

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HOPE RISING

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Imagine A Place…

BY MICHELE OKIMURA

Imagine a place.

A place where light exposes darkness So that nothing is hidden.

A place where people are invited To dance and embrace what is good and true.

Imagine a safe place.

A place where vulnerability is welcomed, Safeguarded, and honored.

Where voices are heard And genuine love transforms lives.

Imagine a resting place.

Homes. Where children and youth Freely entrust their hearts to their parents.

A safe home, where answers to difficult issues Are discovered together…with no shame.

Imagine an honoring place.

Where integrity and dignity are embraced.

Where hearts are protected and valued.

A place where battles to protect relationships are won.

Where lives are celebrated and differences are respected.

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Imagine a healing place.

A place where no person feels alone, unwanted, unloved.

A place where each understands their immense value.

Where lives and broken relationships are restored.

Where forgiveness, grace, compassion abound.

Imagine a brilliant place.

Where individuals, families, Cities and nations experience true transformation.

Because of unity of heart and vision.

Because of the commitment to honor Each person’s gifts, talents, and design.

Imagine a place.

Where no one hides in the darkness, Or in the loneliness of their personal closets.

But is welcomed and beckoned forth To partner with others to help change the world.

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Nothing happens just because we are aware.

But nothing will ever happen until we are

aware

GARY HAUGEN

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LISTEN

PART 1

+ Pornography + Sex Abuse + Sex trafficking

Connect the dots...

Welcome! You are closer to the finish line! This final stretch of your pathway brings you to an important destination. Previous chapters have prepared you to now LISTEN to the voices you will hear in this section. Lean in and keep your heart open as you: • Listen to truths and stories that will enlighten your mind and move your heart.

• Listen to the voices of encouragement cheering you on to walk in your personal power as you make positive, healthy choices.

• And listen even more to the voices of wisdom that can literally save your life and the life of your friends.

BUT FIRST, THERE ARE SOME DOTS TO BE CONNECTED…

Ok, we get it! Talking about the following topics is not light and comfortable conversation! Yet these activities saturate our culture today and may sooner or later touch your life if they have not already: PORNOGRAPHY: The average age of first exposure to

pornography in America is 8-11 years old. We live in a culture where almost all, if not all teen boys have viewed or are addicted to pornography. Teen girls viewing pornography is on the rise and is often considered a normal pastime. Yet, viewing pornography damages relationships, fuels the demand for sex-trafficking, and promotes violence against females. We want to empower you to live healthy and victoriously.

SEX ABUSE: There is a strong correlation between having

been sexually abused and being more vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Research has shown that 93% - 98% of sex trafficked victims were previous victims of sex abuse or molestation. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention findings state that more than 1 in 3 women and nearly 1 in 4 men have experienced sexual violence involving physical

contact at some point in their lives. It is possible that, even though you have not been sexually abused yourself, you may know someone who has been mistreated in this way. You may have wondered how you can help them heal. We are here to empower you.

SEX TRAFFICKING: What?! You may think that sex

trafficking is irrelevant to you, that it might happen to other people, but certainly not to you! Hopefully you are correct.

But recruiters, who often pose as friends, seduce, trick, manipulate, and deceive teen girls into being trapped. It will benefit you greatly to know their tactics to better protect yourself and other teen girls you know.

HEALING: We hope this section will not only encourage you

personally, but also support you as you grow in becoming a safe place for your friends and loved ones in need of help. Get ready to gather golden nuggets of insight, wisdom, and tools that will help you to shine successfully and brilliantly as brave and beautiful you!

“Wisdom is the right use of knowledge.”

CHARLES SPURGEON

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Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

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Hey girl! What does PORN have to do with It?

“The most powerful sex organ is actually your brain. If you are regularly feeding your brain images that are designed to inspire lust, its gong to be difficult to rule your thoughts and keep you from violating your virtues.” -Kris Vallotton 11

it is grooming young women and girls to be taken advantage of, abused, or even trafficked for sex. And yes, I mean you too.

FREE FROM PORN!

LIVING AN EMPOWERED, HEALTHY SEXUAL LIFE YOU CAN BE PROUD OF

By Dean Kaneshiro

Porn is destroying the lives of young women. And the scariest part? No one wants to talk about it. In fact, hardcore pornography itself is not just a fastgrowing addiction for young women today, but it is silently doing something equally destructive all around them as well: it is creating a pornified culture.

Pornified culture is a term I first heard from Dr. Gail Dines who uses it to describe how violent, objectifying, women-hating porn is slowly influencing every part of our culture…without us even recognizing it.

Think about the posters and ads and magazine covers you see in shops and at the mall. Or YouTube music videos from female pop stars and hip-hop artists. Or the hyper-sexualized selfies on your friends’ Insta or Snapchat. Or the normal, everyday occurrence of sexting a guy you think is cute after he hits you up: “send nudes.”

There is a strong cultural pressure on young women and girls to sexualize themselves for the pleasure and acceptance of others.

It’s not just limited to porn, as awful and dehumanizing as that is. It is creeping into every aspect of our culture.

And here’s where it gets super scary:

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If you can break the lie “this will never happen to me” and awaken to the slimy tricks of how pornified culture is grooming you to be taken advantage of, you can stay free from its toxic influence.

And not just that, you’ll be on your way to living an empowered and healthy sexual life you can be proud of. The only question is: are you willing to do the hard work necessary to know the signs, get free…and stay free?

3 KEYS TO BREAKING PORN’S POWER You ready? Here we go…

1. Cut out harmful social media and

pornified media. The majority of young women your age confessed that their #1 struggle on social media is comparing themselves with other girls’ bodies. Am I right?

You’re getting pornified.

For many of you, it’s time to take the 21-Day Unplugged Challenge. This is when you grab a few friends or family members and together you cut out all social media for 21 days (you may want to include entertainment screens as well, like video games, TV, and streaming movies and sites like YouTube).

We do this as a family twice a year and it’s amazing how it detoxes your heart and rewires your mind (…BTW, if you’re thinking right now, “I could never do this!” then chances are you NEED to do this;).

Another thing you may need to do is delete social media apps that feed your insecurities, encourage you to compare yourself with others and are filled with pornified culture (and have hooks leading into hardcore porn itself, which every social media app has).

Delete them, Dean? Are you crazy?

Well, maybe not.

I’ve got one 20-something friend of mine who gave up his iPhone and switched it out for a flip phone for months... hold up, did you catch that?

He switched it out for a FLIP PHONE FOR MONTHS until he could detox his mind and flush out his heart. He had to delete certain apps and streaming services because he was losing his soul.

In other words, he was truly loving himself.

If you know—and you already do as you’re reading this—that there are social media apps, TV shows, or streaming services you’re connected to that are dragging you down a dangerous path, you’ve got to cut that stuff out today.

Your life is too valuable.

Here’s the trick: don’t play with fire... don’t fool around with your heart. If you truly love and respect yourself, GO BIG and fight for a healthy future.

2. Capture a vision for an awesome sexual relationship in marriage. Did you know that overall married people have the BEST sex?

Oh stop it, that’s not how the movies and porn make it look like.

Right? Movies, TV shows, and porn always make it seem like hooks-ups are hot but married people are boring and stingy. And yet study after study— including a recent one from Arizona State and Illinois State Universities—reveal that it’s true: in general, married couples have the best, most satisfying sex lives!

One reason for that is because sex is not just physical (as our pornified culture makes us believe). It is emotional, spiritual, and engages all of who we are, including the bonding chemicals in our brain that deeply connect us to the person we have sex with. Consider this perspective: when sex happens outside of the life-long promise of a marriage— continuously breaking that powerful brain/body chemical bond—it promotes brokenness, fear, disappointment, and confusion.

You are more than your body.

So when you have a vision for something powerful and beautiful, it’s easier to say NO to the things that come your way to destroy it. A YES to the amazing design and security of marriage is a NO to pornography, hook-up life, and pornified culture in all its forms.

self-acceptance. It looks like this: “I am a human; therefore, I have value.” Not like this: “I am sexy, therefore people check me out, therefore I have value.”

3. Build your value and identity in

In fact, for example, a young woman who is looking for affirmation from others is a sitting duck. A girl who is desperate for attention may be tempted to make unhealthy choices regarding her sexuality.

the fact that you are a human who deserves to be loved.

This might be hard for you. In fact, it’s hard for us all.

Pornified culture teaches that our value comes from how hot we are... how much others look at us, comment about us, and want to have sex with us. And we can translate that attention into the fact that we now have VALUE. And it feels good.

So we pornify ourselves to get more attention.

See how the trap works?

So we must replace sexual attention from guys or girls with self-love and

In a pornified culture this is hard, daily work that takes place in our minds and hearts. But it’s critical.

And honestly, that’s the core of the majority of toxic issues you’ll ever deal with right there.

So do the hard work to build your value and identity in the right thing.

To the degree that you have done that is the degree that you’ll be free from pornified culture, sexting, hardcore porn addictions, and hook ups that will poison your soul.

LIVE FOR LOVE Imagine life as an adult—an empowered woman who knows who she is and is free from porn and the trap of

LIVE FOR LOVE THE HUMAN SIDE OF PORN: HEART TO HEARTH

By Brittni De La Mora

Brittni De La Mora is one our much-loved Explicit Movement Speaker Team Members. Her beautiful story is an inspiration. Once known as one of the most famous porn stars in the world, she now speaks with her husband Richard through Love Always Ministries.

Brittni travels around the world sharing about the love that set her free.

I had blonde hair and braces. I was terrified as I spun around the pole at the strip club in Mexico for the first time at the age of 16. “What am I doing? How did I end up here?” I thought. Life had taken a sudden turn, but as I heard the applause of people cheering me on as I took my shirt off, I thought I had finally found what my soul had been hungering for...affirmation.

Growing up in my household I never heard the words, “I am proud of you. I love you. You’re doing an amazing job.” I was a straight A-student, I should have heard those words. Instead, I heard, “I hate you! I wish you were never born. You’re a loser.”

living for the pleasure of others.

Imagine looking into the eyes of your soon-to-be-partner on your wedding day without the fear of sexual images of yourself floating around out there online (or in revengeful ex-partner’s phones)... and with nothing to hide in darkness or shame.

It’s time to fight today for a reality where you deeply know your value and you are free from the slavery and traps set by pornography. THAT is a sexually satisfying vision for your future.

Get educated about the harms and pitfalls of porn and how predators manipulate young women to trap them into sex trafficking. Take action in setting yourself free…whatever it takes.

You can do it. Your life is worth it.

Dean Kaneshiro is the creator of the Family TECH Game Plan Online Course (FamilyTechGamePlan.com) and is a certified Building Family Connections instructor through the Medical Institute for Sexual Health. He teaches on parenting, marriage, dating, and sexuality.

These words broke me of all courage and robbed me of my confidence. I didn’t know who I was nor what I was purposed for on this earth. The day I realized my life had no real meaning was the day my search began. I knew I wanted to find love, but I had no idea what that even looked like, nor where to find it.

After jumping from man to man ending in heartbreak after heartbreak, I ended up in the strip club. That night I received so much affirmation, I thought I had finally found my purpose in life. I also thought I had found real true love. Never in my life had I been more affirmed than I was that night in the strip club.

The affirmation made me feel like I finally belonged somewhere, I didn’t feel like a reject in the strip club. I felt wanted. At 18-years old, the strip club led me into the adult film industry where I was named one of the world’s hottest porn stars.

However, something was still missing. Suddenly, what once fed my hunger now left me hungry. Affirmation was no longer enough to feed my soul. I needed something more, something greater than myself.

It was a process and quite a journey, but I left the adult film industry and now have found such great meaning in life through my faith, in being married to my wonderful husband, and being a mother to my children. I finally feel that that empty place in my heart is now full to overflowing!

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S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

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Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

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FACT:

A great percentage of sex trafficked victims in America have a history of childhood sexual abuse, putting them at higher risk.

“The one thing shared by 84 percent of survivors is a history of childhood sexual abuse.”

Sexual Abuse

J. RAPHAEL AND K FEIFER

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DEAR VICKY…

QUESTIONS FROM A TEENAGER

By Vicky Wong

WHAT IS IT? DEAR VICKY, WHAT IS SEXUAL ABUSE?

That is a great question to ask – people may have different beliefs about what it is. Here are some helpful definitions: • It’s any sort of sexual contact, sexual touching or penetration into your private areas that is non-consensual (without permission), unwanted, forced, threatened and against your will.

• It’s any sexual contact with someone who is not capable of consent, for example, someone drunk, drugged, has physical limitations or mental health issues.

• It’s exposure to offensive remarks, verbal suggestions, or insults about a person's body or sexual activities.

• It’s exposure to distressing or unwanted sexual images, pictures or movies.

Hope that helps!

WHAT ABOUT PORN? DEAR VICKY, MY UNCLE WOULD ALWAYS WATCH PORNOGRAPHY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? IS THAT SEXUAL ABUSE? 18

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Yes, openly watching and exposing explicit, graphic and disturbing pornographic movies with a child or teenager is a form of sexual abuse. These images are distressing and have longterm effects and memories that are traumatizing to talk about and remember.

CHILD ABUSE DEAR VICKY, WHAT IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?

This is also a great question.

Note that laws may vary in different nations, but in the USA, sexual abuse is any sexual act with a child under age 18 by an adult or an older child. Older children can sexually abuse younger children which could include younger siblings or younger cousins. There’s a power difference so the adult or older child touches or forces the younger child to do things sexually he/she does not want to do.

These include:

• Sexual touching of any part of the body with or without clothes.

• Sexual intercourse or penetration into your mouth.

• Showing or taking explicit pornographic pictures or graphic images.

CAN CHILDREN ABUSE CHILDREN? DEAR VICKY, CAN SEXUAL ABUSE HAPPEN BETWEEN CHILDREN?

Yes, sexual abuse happens when there is sexual activity without permission as a

result of physical force, manipulation, threats, emotional trickery or teasing to make the other person co-operate. It’s done deliberately to sexually stimulate the other person.

In many instances, one child takes advantage of another child’s naiveté, and the victim isn’t really aware of what is happening to them. Yet those acts are highly traumatizing to the child victim.

SOMEONE I KNOW DEAR VICKY, IS SEXUAL ABUSE USUALLY DONE BY STRANGERS OR PEOPLE THAT YOU KNOW?

Children most often are abused by someone they know, and a person they or their parents trusted. This includes family members, family friends, babysitters, neighbors, and acquaintances. Only a small percentage of sexual assaults on children are ever reported to the police. Many victims don’t share their stories until years and decades later.

ABUSE AT WHAT AGE? DEAR VICKY, AT WHAT AGE DO KIDS USUALLY GET SEXUALLY ABUSED? DOES THIS HAPPEN OFTEN?

The most common age of child sexual abuse is between 8-12 years of age. According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy; the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network; and the WINGS foundation:

• 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys will be sexually abused by the time they turn 18.

• 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will survive a rape or an attempted rape in their lifetime.

• Men are more commonly the offenders but approximately 20% of child sexual offenses are committed by women.

WHAT HAPPENS? DEAR VICKY, WHAT DOES SOMEONE WHO’S BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED GO THROUGH?

A victim of sexual abuse went through a trauma. Imagine being in a severe car accident and being hit by a driver that totaled the car and nearly totaled you. You’re in the hospital fighting to survive.

You are needing immediate medical attention and a strong support system to help you restore strength and life inside of you.

Just like the car accident, the sexual abuse victim often feels ‘totaled’—emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Every day can feel like a battle to survive because you feel you can never tell anybody about it. There is too much fear, shame, guilt, and lies in your head believing the abuse was all your fault or

something you deserved.

You can feel like there are no doctors to help, no family members you can turn to, and nobody there for you to talk through your pain.

The truth is: you can be healed and restored. It’s a process that takes courage, trust, and finding the right people to help.

Thank you for asking these important questions especially when research has shown that more than 1 in 4 women have been sexually abused in their past. If you haven’t experienced sexual abuse, chances are you know someone who has.

The truth is, the vast majority of sex trafficked

victims have experienced sexual abuse in their past, making them extremely vulnerable to being groomed into sex trafficking.

I hope this column equipped you with some powerful knowledge and understanding!

Vicky Wong is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Mental Health Counselor. She holds a Master of Science in Counseling Psychology from Chaminade University.

Additionally, Vicky is a Licensed Minister with the Assemblies of God denomination. Along with her husband, Rev. Terry Wong, they pastor Calvary Assembly of God in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Blessings!

EXPLORING AND UNDERSTANDING TRAUMA

NAVIGATING THE JOURNEY TOWARDS HEALING

By Melody Stone

Trauma is an emotional scar that results in deep pain, shame, or guilt from witnessing or being the victim of violence or a terrible event. A car accident, being bullied, experiencing sexual, verbal or physical abuse, being abandoned or rejected, or the death of a loved one are common experiences that may result in a person being diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. PTSD affects our ability to think rationally, make decisions and process information, trust ourselves or others, heal from painful experiences and function in our daily lives. Imagine walking through a jungle and suddenly encountering a tiger. With your heart racing and adrenaline rushing through your body, a normal survival response would be to run away, attempt to defend yourself by fighting off the tiger, or freeze, maybe playing dead.

This fight, flight or freeze response is a survival mechanism operating within the sympathetic nervous system. It is like stepping on a gas pedal of a car to escape a dangerous or frightening situation. The cerebral cortex, the cognitive and reasoning part of your brain, goes off-line when trauma occurs.

Then the limbic system releases chemicals triggering shock, confusion, and panic. This overwhelming experience is like throwing a lot of papers into the air on a windy day, and then struggling to collect them.

Common responses from trauma include intrusive flashbacks, nightmares, difficulty concentrating or sleeping, disconnecting from reality, becoming over-reactive, or panic attacks. It is important to note that depression, anxiety, and stress also mimic some symptoms of PTSD, however trauma from PTSD affects the body in more intense ways.

Since we cannot think our way out of trauma, we can use techniques that will help our brain go back online. The parasympathetic nervous system functions like brakes on a car helping our body slow down and regain control.

• An effective way to calm the nervous system is to breathe deeply and slowly 5-6 times.

• You may count things in a room like all the brown books on a shelf or the leaves on a plant.

• “Creature comforts” including a warm drink, a snack, or a soft blanket help a person become grounded and safe in the present moment.

Another powerful way to stabilize is to imagine making a trip to a real or imagined safe place; a warm sandy beach, grassy meadow or even your bedroom. Close your eyes and take a few minutes to imagine a happy, peaceful place. Notice details about this place like the temperature, colors and sounds in your surroundings. You may notice someone is there with you, like a close family member or close friend. Are they saying or doing anything? Continue observing all these details as though you are in a movie. Then open your eyes and recall what you just experienced including your strongest feelings.

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Often people notice they have a sense of deep peace, happiness, and security. As your brain comes back online, your body relaxes, and you can think more clearly. Accessing a safe place can be a useful coping skill, releasing stress when you are anxious or fearful, like before taking a difficult test or going to the dentist.

Recovering from trauma often requires professional help from a trained therapist as well as support groups, and friends.

Their job is not to “fix” the problem or person by giving advice, minimizing the trauma, making false promises, judging, or enabling the person. The best ways they can be helpful are to listen, be patient, and encouraging. Their love and support can be like a healing salve on a deep wound.

Trauma is not something we just “get over.” Be patient with yourself. It often takes months or even years to heal, especially if these events happened repeatedly over a sustained period when we were young. If a primary caregiver was responsible for our abuse, this often impairs our ability to develop healthy, trusting relationships.

Choosing to be grateful every day helps us become aware of all the good in our lives. This doesn’t mean of course, that nothing bad is ever going to happen in life. However, developing a thankful attitude releases powerful endorphins (positive brain chemicals).

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Pursue your healing! It is a journey, and it takes courage to push forward. You are an overcomer, brave and beautiful one!

Gradually, your hope can be restored as you realize healing is possible. Your story of perseverance may someday help others to heal.

“One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through, and it will be someone else’s survival guide.” UNKNOWN “Trauma creates change you don’t choose.

Healing is about creating change you do choose.”

MICHELLE ROSENTHAL

“You are stronger than you think. You have gotten through every bad day in your life, and you are undefeated.” UNKNOWN “Instead of saying ‘I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues.” I say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.”

HORACIO JONES

STANDING STRONG AGAINST SEXUAL HARASSMENT

By Melody Stone

“When we don’t understand what inappropriate sexual behavior is or when we lack the words to describe what we have endured, we become the voiceless. We live in a society focused on sex, and the images we see in media often discredit and objectify women, creating a false standard that is based on judgements and lies. Throughout history, in every culture, women have experienced challenges relating to objectification and inequality. Being objectified means to be treated like an object that can be consumed like a product and used for someone’s gain or pleasure. For this to occur, others embrace false beliefs that devalue another human being...”

UNDERSTAND THESE TERMS: SEXUAL HARASSMENT: “When another person harasses you repeatedly with sexual comments, content, or actions. For example, it may include verbal comments about your body, requests for sexual favors, sexual jokes, or visual flashing, mooning, facial expressions, or electronic sharing (sharing sex-related pictures, videos, posting rumors on social media, requesting naked or inappropriate selfies.) It can also include unwanted physical contact.”

COERCION: “When someone threatens, tricks, manipulates or forces you to do something you don’t want to do.”

IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS EXPERIENCING SEXUAL HARASSMENT 1. Know that it is not your fault!

2. Your voice matters. Don’t keep a secret because of fear of

being judged or threats from others. There are people who can help you if you reach out.”

With permission, the above excerpt is from Focus on the Family, Brio Magazine Article: June/July 2018, “Let’s Protect Our Bodies and Our Boundaries,” “It’s Time to Take a Stand Against Sexual Harassment, Assault and Abuse.” (pp 26-29)

If you are involved in an uncomfortable or abusive situation you might say something like, “You are being really inappropriate and rude right now and I won’t be treated disrespectfully. Stop this right now!”

Look directly at the person and speak in a calm tone of voice. You want to set firm boundaries in a “matter of fact” way.

Removing yourself from the person and situation also sends a clear message that you respect yourself and won’t be mistreated.

It is important to remember that we often teach people how to treat us by our words and our actions.

3. You matter. Take the next step. Talk with an adult that you know and trust, such as a parent, teacher, counselor, principal, or medical professional.

4. It can be stopped. Your life is not defined by what has been done to you or by the choices you have made. When you share with a person you trust, this can be the first step to freedom and healing!

As females, we should be courageous and strong, being willing to stand for justice. When we know how to establish and maintain healthy boundaries, it is a sign to others that we value and love ourselves.

Sometimes loving and valuing ourselves can be the most difficult thing to do because of our own negative feelings, guilt, shame, what we have been told, and/or how others view us. Our life experiences, society’s views, our own beliefs and past or present choices also impact our perceived value. Sometimes loving and respecting ourselves involves changing our behaviors or choosing to change our faulty beliefs. This could involve walking away from an unhealthy situation, “calling out” or “calling in” other’s behaviors, or breaking up with an abusive, controlling partner. Taking these steps requires courage and strength.

Melody Stone M.A.Ed., Counseling, LMHC Certified Trauma trained therapist | Ambassador and professional trainer with Shared Hope International | Founder, “Hawai’i Island Safe Net,” A Christian volunteer network providing support and services for at-risk youth and survivors of human trafficking | Founder, Hawai’i Island Coalition Against Human Trafficking.

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STEPPING STONES: THE HEALING PROCESS

By Vicky Wong

Here are some helpful steps that open the door to your inner healing journey. They will encourage you if you have been sexually abused. Please know you can restore and rebuild, as what lives inside of you is one of beauty, compassion, courage and joy!

If you have not been abused, knowing these steps will help you be a source of wisdom and encouragement for someone who has been abused.

TIME DOESN’T HEAL ALL WOUNDS Recovering from sexual abuse is a process that is different for each person. If you have experienced trauma, you need time to process deep wounds, whether you were touched once or touched repeatedly. Memories and emotions can stay frozen in time. They are released and restored as you become ready to work through them. Those feelings and details can still be as vivid, scary, and disturbing today as they were when the abuse first happened. There’s no timetable for healing. For some, it may take months, a year, or longer to walk through suppressed and distressful memories, and come to a place of self-discovery, identity and truth.

START THE PROCESS WITH YOURSELF AND A PERSON YOU TRUST. I had to find courage and strength within myself to admit that something very wrong happened to me. I had suppressed a lot of my painful memories in my own unhealthy denial. It was time to be honest with myself that a broken little girl lives inside of me who is bound in fear, abandonment, and shame. Yet I knew that little girl deserved to rediscover joy and hope and receive genuine love from others.

I knew I needed to find both a close friend and a professional counselor who could walk this journey of restoration with me. I wanted at least one or two persons who could listen with understanding, empathy, love, and compassion. I started talking a little at a time about what happened. Sometimes all I could get out was a few words or a sentence, but my voice was starting to form a story of understanding. I needed to talk, and I wanted to find some answers. I learned that vulnerability to be honest with myself, and to ask for help from others isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a sign of strength in being brave and courageous in my healing journey. It feels so good to be rescued out of these chains to freedom and joy. I am now connected to a healthier part of me willing to let people help me form a new story of hope.

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HEALING HAPPENS IN RELATIONSHIPS It is hard to heal yourself in isolation because healing happens with the support of people, in healthy relationships.

Building a support system and being willing to connect with others on a deeper level is crucial. It is not an easy or simple process to find safe people you can trust who exhibit understanding, empathy, and genuine love. Supportive relationships are vital to recovering. Having fun activities and connecting with people is the start towards healing.

FINDING SAFETY AND SUPPORT Everyone needs a place of safety. A safe place is where positive words with sensitivity and understanding can happen.

It is a place free from negativity, judgment, condemnation, and accusatory questions and advice. A safe person is someone who can guide you to share openly by listening attentively with encouragement and offering positive words of support. They support you as you are ready to talk openly and allow you to stop when you’re ready to stop.

THE JOURNEY BEGINS… 1. CONNECT: It starts with connecting with one person who

is supportive, empathetic, and calm in listening. A safe person could be a family member, close friend, counselor, teacher, community worker, or a church leader who is available on a regular basis to spend time with you. I went to professional counseling where I started cautiously speaking for the first time with someone who could help me work through my thoughts and feelings from the past. We met weekly, and sometimes twice per week. Once I found my courage and confidence, I started sharing my story as I slowly broadened my circle of support.

2. GROUP SUPPORT: Some schools, churches, community

centers, and hospitals offer reputable inner healing support groups established especially for abuse and trauma recovery.

You may find people in those places who are willing to walk alongside your journey of healing and self-disclosure. Hearing other people’s stories who have similar experiences will help you feel connected and loved with people who understand.

RESTORING AND RENEWING VICKY’S STORY By Vicky Wong I grew up in Vancouver, Canada, in a very traditional Chinese family with five siblings. I have three older brothers, and I was the fourth child. Boys are given a greater status and hierarchy in my family, so my brothers were considered more important than me. I was taught as a little girl that my job was to serve my brothers.

I was always very afraid of my oldest brother. He was violent, mean, and engaged in ‘dark’ activities. The first abusive incident happened between us when I was around 9 or 10 years old. He came very close to me and started grabbing my body’s private areas on top of my clothes. I felt startled, deeply offended, scared, shocked and ran out of the room. Unfortunately, what I hoped was an isolated incident continued with each time being more violent and with greater physical force in holding me down. Being paranoid was a new normal as I stayed hypervigilant knowing he could be in hiding and suddenly pounce on me at any time.

My brother was all about power and control. Fear caused me to be immobile and unable to fight back. I felt like a rag doll being trampled on - helpless, defenseless, powerless, voiceless, filthy and always feeling dirty. I had my dad’s favor and my brother hated me for that, which justified doing bad things to me with no remorse.

I was broken on so many levels. My healing process took courage and determination to get restored. It was a process of accepting the things I cannot change and finding courage to change the things that I can. I had to be brave over and over to discover that I can be on a positive journey and found a rainbow of hope that leads to life and renewal to wash away shame. I now realize what happened to me wasn’t my fault. I am a victim but that doesn’t mean I stand alone and isolated forever.

It is a daily journey of finding healthy connections and positive relationships with “safe people I trust” to work through my healing journey. I have worked hard to rescue and restore the broken little girl inside of me. And that little girl now has answers that make sense, a family who loves, and a positive hope for the present. I enjoy the adult Vicky who is finding a greater understanding of my past, and the ability to forgive myself and my brother. There is comfort, hope, forgiveness, joy, and strength being renewed in me now. Though my brother meant me harm, through my suffering, I discovered my greater purpose - to restore lives. I became a mental health, marriage, and family counselor, and now have the privilege to help others find their journey of inner healing, renewal, and hope.

MY STORY: TEARS OF SORROW TO JOY

By Karla Takazono

What do you remember when you were seven years old? Was it learning to ride a bike or learning to read? It was different for me.

My parents traveled a lot due to their line of work. Whenever my parents would go on trips, they would have me stay at friends’ homes.

One night, while my parents were away on one of their trips, my friend’s older sister came into the room when I was alone. She locked the door. Silence filled the room as she began to tell me what she would ‘do to me sexually’ and what ‘I would do to her sexually.’

I was so confused! Fear gripped me as I tried to process what she

was saying. I did what she told me to do. This trauma caused my whole world to change. Shame entered my heart. I began to hide and clothe myself in shame.

It wasn’t long before I ran into another situation that reinforced my shame as a teenager. One Friday night, I decided to hang out with a boy that I had started talking to on social media. “I can’t believe he wants to hang out with me,” I thought with excitement. Although something deep down inside told me to run, I stubbornly went.

As he reached out to grab my hand, he led me down the beach from the party we were at. He began to kiss me and tell me that I was beautiful. My heart started to race. Suddenly, he began tearing

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off my clothes. Everything happened so fast. “Is he doing what I think he’s doing?” I thought as he pushed me down. Forcing himself upon me, I screamed, “No! Please stop!” But he wouldn’t! It was so painful and confusing. I was raped that night. Shame overwhelmed me, and thoughts tormented me, “Was this my fault? Did I deserve this? I feel so disgusted with myself! I am such a wreck!” I felt so alone and powerless.

It wasn’t until I finally decided to pursue my healing that hope grew within me. My heart was like a wounded heart covered with band-aids. It had become infected because I didn’t know how to clean it correctly. But healing slowly came and my shattered heart was made whole.

“My heart was like a wounded heart covered with band-aids. It had become infected because I didn’t know how to clean it correctly. But healing came and my heart was restored!”

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No matter how small or huge you believe your mess is, there is hope for healing! Shame can enter your life from a variety of ways. We all can struggle with varying levels of shame from not performing perfectly, from our failures or wrong choices, or from hurtful things said or done to us. We can overcome broken ways of coping and learn healthy ways to thrive in life.

I believe there is joy, freedom, and pure love awaiting you!

There is forgiveness for yourself and others! You have a voice that deserves to be heard. Beautiful One, do not hide and run from your trauma, as I did for many years, but open your heart today to healing. There are those in your community who are equipped and trained to support you and help you to heal and be restored!

BE A SAFE PLACE

HOW TO SUPPORT A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED

By Chris Yanuaria

HOW TO HELP A SURVIVOR OF SEX ASSAULT

Sex assault can have traumatic long-term effects on an individual. If you have never experienced sexual assault yourself, you may not be able to fully understand what a survivor is going through. You may find it difficult to know what to say or how best to offer support. You cannot take away someone’s traumatic experience but you can play a crucial role in their healing process. If your family or friend shares with you they have been sexually assaulted, here are some tips:

LISTEN

It takes a tremendous amount of courage for a survivor to share their story. It's important to provide a supportive, nonjudgmental environment where they can be heard. If someone has not shared their story with you yet, let them know you are available whenever they are ready to talk. Don’t pressure the person to tell their story or try to change the subject to something lighter. Just listen. If someone opens up to you, they trust you and need someone to talk to. Try using statements like:

fix the situation or give too much advice. Instead, if they choose to seek out medical attention or report it to the police, offer to go with them. You can share suggestions like speaking with a sex assault advocate or a counselor, but let the person make the final decision. Try saying: • “I care about you. Know that I’m here to support you in any way I can.”

• “You are not alone in this. How can I help?”

• “Thank you for sharing your story with me.”

• “It took a lot of courage to tell me about this.”

• “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

BELIEVE AND REASSURE

Sex assault survivors worry no one will believe them-- or worse, fear they will be blamed. Avoid questions that sound like you don’t believe their story. Oftentimes survivors will blame themselves for what happened. Reassure them that they have nothing to be ashamed of.

Sexual assault is always the perpetrator's fault and NEVER the survivor's fault. You can say: • “I believe you.”

• “This is not your fault.”

• “You didn’t do anything to deserve this.”

LET THEM TAKE THE LEAD

It’s normal to want to take charge when someone you care about is hurting; however, with sex assault victims you might want to think again. Sex assault strips away a person’s sense of power and control. Allow your loved one to make their own decisions on the next steps to regain their power. Don’t try to

EDUCATE YOURSELF AND OFFER RESOURCES Learn more about the issue and the struggles survivors go through.

Research national and local agencies and share that information with your friend or family member.

If a loved one is in immediate danger or has a serious physical injury as a result of a sexual assault, call 9-1-1, and seek medical attention.

You can make a big difference by being loving, compassionate, and empathetic!

Chris Yanuaria received his Master’s in social work at the Myron V. Thompson School of Social Work at the University of Hawaii at Manoa. Chris facilitated violence prevention workshops and trainings to students, faculty, and staff at the University of Hawaii at Manoa for many years. He also invested much time in helping to eliminate the issue of human trafficking locally, nationally, and abroad.

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M IND F UL LET T ERING

Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

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S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

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Pornography Sexual Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

Connecting the Dots…

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“Every two minutes, a child is trafficked for the purpose of sexual exploitation in the United States.” - U.S. Dept. of Justice

“Any one of us could fall

victim to sex trafficking.”

Sex Trafficking

- FBI Agent

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WHAT IS SEX TRAFFICKING?

By Shantae Williams, Psy.D.

Sex trafficking, often referred to as modern day slavery or prostitution, is when a person uses force (i.e. beating, kidnapping, etc.), fraud (i.e. posing as a photographer for a modeling agency, etc.), or coercion (i.e. becoming someone’s boyfriend or girlfriend in order to take advantage of them, etc.) to trick someone into engaging in a sexual act in exchange for something of value to that person. For minors (people under the age of 18), sex trafficking is when a sexual act (e.g. sex, stripping, pornography, etc.) is exchanged for something of value (money, drugs, protection, etc.) to that person or a third party; force, fraud, or coercion does not need to be present for minors to be considered a victim of sex trafficking.

Most people think sex trafficking is what we see in the movies; a person is kidnapped and taken to another country where they’re drugged, raped and repeatedly sold for sex. Although this does happen, it is very rare; more often a person is “recruited” or tricked into sex trafficking by someone they trust. The majority of sexually trafficked children in the United States are lured into trafficking by a friend who is also being trafficked, their parents (this is called familial trafficking), or a trafficker (pimp).

To truly understand how sex trafficking works, and why a minor is considered a victim of sex trafficking even if they say they want to do it, you need to understand risk factors and recruitment tactics of traffickers. Risk factors, are things that are occurring in a person’s life that makes them vulnerable to being sex trafficked. Risk factors of sex trafficking include but are not limited to: being a minor, being female, being lgbtq+, having a history of sexual molestation, having an absent parent, being bullied, having low self-esteem, having mental health issues (depression, anxiety, etc.), having family problems (fighting a lot with your parents, parental divorce, etc.), having access to social media, having an older significant other, wanting to be loved, and the list goes on.

Basically, anything that makes you need someone you can trust and depend on in your life, or makes you feel bad about yourself, can make you vulnerable to sex trafficking.

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Sex traffickers are trained to look for people who have experienced these risk factors. Their main goal is to be seen as a trusted person, so they can eventually exploit this trust to manipulate a person into doing things they would normally never do. Some traffickers admit to targeting teens who have stricter or religious parents, because they know they will likely not report the incident to their parent.

Most victims report that they would have never imagined becoming a victim of sex trafficking. This is not something people think of doing on their own; someone sees the risk factors and targets them. Most targeting occurs over social media where it’s easy for a person to learn who you are; your likes and dislikes; where you live; where you hang out; who you hang out with; anything they need to know to gain your trust. They then find a way to connect with you. Before you know it, you’re in an intense

relationship you either feel you cannot live without, or are fearful to leave due to physical abuse or blackmail.

Many victims feel stuck in sex trafficking because they fear their family and friends finding out, and rejecting or judging them. In most cases this is not true. The best way to avoid or get out of being trafficked is to tell your parents, a trusted adult, or a friend you know. There is also outside support and resources available if you don’t have anyone in your life you can trust. These resources can connect you to people who will help you through the struggles you may be experiencing.

The best defense to avoid being trafficked is to make sure you’re not being lured or tricked. Remember, if it feels too good to be true, it usually is! Your body has a way of telling you when something is wrong; it’s called your gut instinct. When your gut tells you something is wrong,

listen to your body; it can save your life. Avoiding getting involved in sex trafficking will save you a lifetime of severe mental health issues. Find resources to help you with any risk factors you struggle with in order to ensure you’re not vulnerable to exploitation.

If you or someone you know is or was involved in sex trafficking, and needs help, know you are not alone and there is help and light at the end of the tunnel!

Call the National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1 (888) 373-7888 or text “HELP” or “INFO” to BEFREE (233733) they will connect you with help. You can remain anonymous.

REMEMBER, HELP IS A PHONE CALL AWAY!

Knowledge is powerful if it changes your life for the better.

PROTECT YOURSELF! WAYS RECRUITERS GROOM TEENAGERS WHO COULD BE A RECRUITER?

• Recruiters could be strangers or friends you meet at school, afterschool programs, and other public places.

• A recruiter could be a male or female trying to gain your trust.

• Be especially cautious of older teens or adults who try to get you to go with them someplace.

• Know that a recruiter can ‘groom’ a victim over varied time. Some victims are lured within hours or days, while others are lured over many months by a good friend or boyfriend.

STRANGERS: Recruiters can be strangers who are good-looking, charming, friendly, seemingly sincere, smooth talking, people who know how to connect heart to heart with you. These recruiters can approach you at malls, beaches, restaurants—anywhere.

They could also falsely pose as modeling scouts, trying to get you to meet up with them to get you into ‘modeling.’

CLASSMATES: Recruiters could also be a classmate or an upper or lower classman at your school. They gain your trust as a friend, so you would never think they had a plan to coerce you.

BOYFRIEND: Unfortunately, your new boyfriend or boyfriend of several months who has been a great guy to you could be playing the role to gain your trust so he can later recruit/trap you into sex trafficking.

NEW FRIENDS: Sometimes recruiters are new friends you’ve made—he or she could be a new friend that your classmate introduced you to and you have all hung out together so you consider him or her a trustworthy friend.

FAMILY MEMBERS: In some cases, sadly, recruiters can be family members or relatives.

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WHAT KINDS OF TACTICS DO RECRUITERS USE TO GROOM VICTIMS? • Recruiters exhibit charming behavior. They say words and act in ways that can seem too good to be true.

• Recruiters’ words initially make you feel very special and cause you to believe they are there to support you.

RECRUITERS MAY SAY SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THE FOLLOWING LINES TO BUILD TRUST AND FRIENDSHIP TO MANIPULATE YOU: “Tell me everything about you.

I want to know everything!”

These types of statements try to get you to share deep, dark secrets with them so they can use this information to manipulate and blackmail you in the future. Refrain from disclosing details about yourself and your past with someone you do not know well. Be careful not to reveal too much about yourself too quickly.

“I have never met anyone like you. I feel I can trust you with anything. I have told you things I have never told anyone else.”

This is a tactic to try to make the victim feel responsible for the mental health and well-being of the trafficker. When the victim tries to leave, the guilt of leaving someone who trusted them with everything prevents them from leaving.

Beware when someone starts to use guilt to manipulate you.

“You are so beautiful!

I love you!”

Traffickers often target a person who is overlooked, especially someone wanting love, attention, and affirmation as a result of their family and peer experiences.

For example, if two girls are walking down the street, and one of the girls is obviously more physically attractive than the other, the trafficker will approach the less attractive friend, the one who receives less attention from others, and will disregard the more attractive person. If the more attractive friend later tries to intervene when she sees her friend being mistreated or lured into danger, the trafficker probably would accuse the friend of being jealous because she is used to getting more attention due to her looks. Afraid to lose the one person who views her as beautiful, a girl might not heed her friend’s warnings and, as a result, become isolated, vulnerable to being exploited.

We all desire affirmation, attention, love, and encouragement.

However, though you may appreciate positive words, be cautious around a person who showers you with compliments— you do not know if their motives are for good or to control you.

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“You are too hot to be wearing those shoes!

You need to get with me so I can upgrade you!”

A comment like this makes victims feel good, and then immediately the trafficker belittles them, making them feel vulnerable. Traffickers and recruiters utilize this tactic to capture a victim’s attention with flattery, but also embarrass them by pointing out their low-quality clothes or accessory.

The recruiter gives the victim an opportunity to elevate their status through promises of ‘upgrading,’ buying them new shoes, clothes, designer bags, or other items they want or need. This also increases the victim’s sense of obligation to the recruiter.

The person may attempt to establish a sexual relationship with you in return for the gifts and to further bond you to him or her.

Avoid a person who desires to ‘upgrade you.’ Many of us like nice material things, but this is often a tactic to trap, deceive, and trick you into being trafficked. Be brave. Decline the offer and walk away from the situation.

“You want to make some money? I can show you how you can make a lot of money!”

This lures in victims who come from impoverished backgrounds. Victims never make money; they may be given small amounts of money in the beginning to gain trust or earn some wages by being ‘bottoms’ or ‘recruiters,’ but they get nowhere near what their trafficker makes. Money given to victims is often taken back at later time.

Do not go for such fast money opportunities! Seek wisdom from wise trusted mentors in your life.

“You may as well make money for what someone is taking from you anyway.”

Because traffickers often target youth with a history of molestation and sex abuse, they often use this line, which seems to make sense to someone who is actively being victimized at home.

You are deserving of respect and honor. Though this line may seem to make sense to you if you have already been sexually active or abused, seek help from trusted mentors. Beware of falling into this trap and do not sell yourself short!

WHAT OTHER SIGNS SHOULD I LOOK FOR TO KNOW IF I AM BEING GROOMED? TRAFFICKERS TRY TO ISOLATE YOU FROM FRIENDS AND FAMILY: A person who often uses shame and control to keep you away from friends and family is a red flag!

TRAFFICKERS TRY TO KEEP YOU DEPENDENT ON HIM/HER: A recruiter tries to get you to think he/she is the only one who will take care of you to get you to depend on them. This person may attempt to learn your biggest wants and needs so they can manipulate you slowly into becoming dependent on them as a close friend. They may make promises to you that they will fulfill your dreams.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I SENSE SOMETHING ‘DOESN’T SEEM RIGHT’ OR SAFE?

CAN TRAFFICKERS BE AGGRESSIVE TOWARDS POTENTIAL VICTIMS?

• Pay attention to your ‘sensing’ or ‘feeling’ - if you feel something's not ‘quite right’ or is making you feel uncomfortable, fearful, or ‘strange’, pay attention to those ‘red flags’. If you get caught in a conversation with someone suspicious, be strong and assertive by excusing yourself and leaving swiftly as soon as possible! Contact a trusted friend or relative who can help you or come pick you up.

Be vigilant and aware of your surroundings especially when you are walking alone in an area with few people or no one around. Take notice if someone is following you, or a car or van is following you.

• If someone is bothering and/or following you in public by constantly trying to talk with you, get another adult involved. For example, if you are at a mall, go to a store employee or store manager and say something like, “This person keeps following me. Please help me.”

• Be aware of abusive or possessive behaviors in people and notice their reaction when you say no to something they want you to do. If they don’t respect your decision, if their response is controlling, rageful, intimidating, manipulative, or just too charming, seek help and safety.

• Kidnapping: Be aware of your surroundings when walking (or jogging) alone on sidewalks and in parking lots. Although rare, there have been cases where traffickers have tried to force someone into their vehicle.

• Drugging your drink: Be aware of your drink when out with friends.

There have been situations where a trafficker has put drugs, sometimes called “date rape drugs” in the drink of victims so they can be taken. Do not accept a drink from someone else and keep an eye on your drink when you are in a group you don’t know well. Be wise and be aware.

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10 TIPS! 1.

Tell a family member where you will be going and when you will return and keep in contact with them when you are out and about with someone you do not know well.

2.

Set up a safety word with your family, so if you say that word, your family member knows you feel you are in danger.

3.

Memorize at least one trusted friend’s or family member’s phone number.

4. BEFORE making any decisions, check with a trusted family member or a wise mentor when offers almost seem too good to be true.

5.

Consider allowing 2-3 people to track your phone via GPS so they know your whereabouts at all times. Some phones allow this. You could allow them to track you varying amounts of times, such as just for an hour, a day or all the time. This type of tracking can be completely under your control.

6. Never get into a car with a stranger and avoid being alone in an isolated place with strangers.

7.

Don’t hesitate to call 911 when you feel you are in danger.

8. When going on a date, especially the first few dates with someone you do not know well, plan to meet up in a public place until you feel comfortable and feel you know them. Even better, suggest an outing with a group.

9. If a new friend or stranger offers to buy you expensive gifts, refrain from receiving such gifts, as this could be a tactic to control you later.

10. Traffickers prey on youth who run away from home. If you are having trouble at home and are tempted to run away—there are other options. Running away will put you at risk of being lured into dangerous situations. Seek help from your school counselor, a trusted mentor or relative.

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YES, IT CAN HAPPEN TO YOU!

By Dean Kaneshiro

You could be in danger of falling into the trap of an online predator.

And the quickest way to fall into it is believing this lie: that would never happen to me.

In fact, it’s happening to young women and girls just like you all over the world. And for many of them, it ends in deep depression, drugs, or even suicide.

So I’m thrilled you’re reading this right now!

Because the good news is that you can avoid being a victim to an online predator if you get educated on how they work and make wise choices online that will keep you safe and healthy.

BECOMING A VICTIM IS PRETTY SIMPLE…JUST ASK SERENA

When Serena was in eighth grade, she had a crush on a boy (1).

He asked for a naked video of herself.

In a moment of high emotion, she sent one to him.

And that’s when her life changed forever.

He asked for more—and flattered by his attention—she sent him more.

Kids at school began to look at her strange and she soon realized he had shared the videos with his friends…and someone even posted it on Pornhub!

Students began to text her and ask her for naked videos, otherwise they would show the ones they already had to her mom.

This began a downward spiral in Serena’s life. She began to skip class, fight with her mother, cut herself, and she even took so many medications she ended up almost killing herself. She eventually left home at 16, became homeless, tried

to hang herself, and then started to sell nude images and videos of herself online to make money after getting deep into drugs and opioids.

Listen to how she described how she viewed herself: “I’m not worth anything anymore because everybody has already seen my body.”

At 19 years old, Serena was free from drugs and living in her car in California, but still dealing with the trauma and working through the pain. “I was dumb,” she says. “It was one small thing that a teenager does, and it’s crazy how it turns into something so much bigger.”

And let what she says next sink in: “A whole life can be changed because of one little mistake.”

HOW YOU’RE BEING SEXUALLY GROOMED RIGHT NOW…AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW IT

Even before that first video of Serena ended up on Pornhub (which was viewed over 400,000 times), she was being groomed by porn.

More specifically, by a pornified culture.

So how does our pornified culture work hand-in-hand with predators to trap young women into their destructive ways?

There is a horrifying story about

an imprisoned pedophile, a man who sexually abused his stepdaughter when she was in elementary school. When asked how he prepared her for his abuse, he shrugged and said, “I didn’t have to do much grooming at all. The culture did it for me.”

Did you catch that?

The culture did it for me.

Let that sink in.

So what does that mean?

It means that as pornography becomes normal for young women your age—in fact, it becomes sex education— then the violent and awful ways women are treated in porn is something girls think is normal and expected of them.

And it prepares them to be sexually taken advantage of.

When every music video, live performance at the Super Bowl, magazine cover, Insta post, and TikTok dance a girl watches makes her believe her value is connected to how much attention she gets from men in a sexual way, she is being groomed for abuse.

This makes young women—just like you—more susceptible to the traps of online sexual predators.

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HOW THIS WORKS Here’s what you can do—starting TODAY—to break out of pornified culture and empower yourself so you don’t become a statistic.

Get educated about the ways online predators groom young women over social media.

Let me break down how online predators hook you in and ruin your life.

You’ll recognize some of these tactics from Serena’s story.

First, these creepy 60 year-olds create fake online profiles, disguised as cute 17 or 19 year-old young men (and sometimes they are cute 17 or 19 year-old young men).

Then they shadow you, carefully watching what you post, monitoring your emotional state, and looking for clues to how you feel about yourself so they can take advantage of you when the time is right.

Let’s say you post about having a fight with your mom, or you post about how depressed you feel. This is when they strike. They DM you, flattering you or expressing how they totally understand how you feel. This is how they get their hooks in you.

Their eventual goal is for you to share a sext with them—a nude or semi-nude photo or video of yourself. Once they have this, then they’ve got you. PLEASE READ THIS PART SLOWLY: that sexted photo or video is the key because this is how they control you from that moment on.

They threaten to post the photo or send it to your parents if you don’t do whatever they ask of you next, which could be sending more sexts, explicit videos of yourself, interacting sexually with them over FaceTime or a live stream app…or even meeting up with them in person!

Now burn this next point in your brain forever, as it is the #1 practical key to staying free from the trap…

You ready?

NEVER TAKE SEXUALIZED PHOTOS OR VIDEOS OF YOURSELF.

the pressure from these predators by sending more photos or videos because of their threats. Your parents will help you navigate through it. LISTEN: go straight to your parents or a trusted adult. No matter the consequences, it’s better than what will happen if you let these predators ruin your life.

So I hope you’re getting the point here: it is NEVER worth it to take sexualized photos or videos of yourself!

Reject pornified culture and be strong.

Stop your girlfriends from sexting.

Make sure your guy friends don’t joke about it or ask girls for them. No matter how cool they make it look in movies or in TV shows online, it isn’t. It will destroy your life.

Just ask Serena.

You can read Serena’s full story in the New York Times article, “The Children of Pornhub” by Nicolas Kristof, Dec. 1

NEVER trust your boyfriend, friends, or guys you’ve never met before with photos or videos like this…ever.

And if you do make this mistake, tell your parents immediately…no matter how scared you are. NEVER give in to

MORE ONLINE TIPS TO PROTECT YOURSELF

By Sarah Siegand

We live in a super-connected world, one where you can form and deepen real friendships through digital communication and sharing experiences in online spaces (which is amazing). But the flip side of that super-connection is the tremendous vulnerability that comes with encountering others online who may not be what they seem.

In our line of work, we tell students and parents alike that it’s important to watch out for red flags when interacting with others, and that includes noticing when people online just seem too nice. This could be in the form of comments on a social media post like, “You seem very mature. And beautiful too!” It might come as a direct message (DM) from someone you don’t really know saying, “I heard you had a bad day.” Or even a message from a teacher you know who seems kind of like a friend.

As crazy as it sounds, someone who seems helpful, supportive, or kind might actually be out to hurt or exploit you online. All it takes is the opportunity to build

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trust with you and one single solitary moment of vulnerability on your part. A common tactic is soliciting nude or sexy images from you, as the previous article explained. Social media, gaming platforms, YouTube, messaging apps—any form of digital connection can be used to groom a victim.

Kristy was an A+ student who played the piano at church and was an all-star softball player. But she started talking to a nice guy on Snapchat who she thought was a teenager with mutual friends in common. One night she snuck out of her home to meet up with him and realized he was actually much older, and he intended to harm her. He abducted her, drove her to another state, dyed her hair blue and sexually abused her on camera for days before the FBI was able to track her down and rescue her.

Online predation has exploded over the past few years. According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC), their Cyber Tipline received 10.2 million reports of online child exploitation in 2017, and by 2019, that number had grown to 16.9 million. They also report that the average age of an exploited victim online is 15. This shows us two things: that the stereotype of victims being naive children who are easily deceived is inaccurate, and that the sophistication of predators and traffickers is growing to be able to trick teens who often think of themselves as very internet-savvy.

HOW CAN YOU PROTECT YOURSELF FROM ONLINE PREDATORS AND SEX-TRAFFICKERS? DON’T SEND ANY NUDE PHOTOS TO ANYONE!

isolate you. These are all tactics of abuse and victimization.

HERE ARE SOME ADDITIONAL IMPORTANT RULES TO LIVE BY.

Set social media platforms on private and turn off location information.

Don’t accept or reply to message requests from strangers, and never message with teachers or coaches on social media platforms. Healthy adults will know this is inappropriate and will reach out for needed communication in ways that offer accountability, such as email or group threads where comments are visible by all. The best bet is to keep your social media and gaming connections to people you actually know as real-life friends.

Do NOT meet up with anyone you met online. Traffickers can easily pose as teenagers by using fake photos of themselves, leading you to believe they are someone you might trust more easily.

Meeting up with someone you don’t actually know in real life can put you in an extremely dangerous situation, where your physical safety is in jeopardy.

Do not give out personal information.

Do not share information like your phone number, address, school, or neighborhood information with anyone you meet online. This could put you and your family in danger. Remember, even a student at a rival school might be looking for anyone who can be manipulated into exploitation.

Be careful about using dating apps and messaging apps. The person who is building an online relationship with you could be a sex trafficker. Once a romantic relationship or friendship is established, they can take advantage of the emotional bond you feel, which can be used as a method to control, manipulate, and

Report any grooming or exploitative behavior you come across. Every young person needs to know how to block other users online and report inappropriate behavior in online platforms. In addition, making a report to Cybertipline.org is crucial, as they have access to worldwide databases of criminal activity and are actively looking to catch predators (social media sites have a poor track record of acting on reports made to their platforms, but it’s still important to try nonetheless).

Yes, our world can be scary at times, but there is still so much good to be found. Share these tips with a friend and commit to helping each other stay safe online. You don’t have to live in fear, and

walking with others who are aware of the dangers can strengthen your strategy to avoid exploitation and grooming.

Together, you and your friends can stay connected online without becoming vulnerable. *Note that not all online predators are sex traffickers. Some predators try to lure victims solely for themselves and are not associated with any sex trafficking rings. Nonetheless, sex traffickers use online platforms such as social media, YouTube, and gaming connections to groom victims.

Sarah Siegand is the co-founder of Parents Who Fight, an online safety organization that educates parents and students about dangers online and how to walk in wisdom and balance with digital communication. Learn more at parentswhofight.com.

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YIKES! IT HAPPENED TO ME!

By Raiza Garcia

It was September 3rd, 2020, Labor Day, a day that I planned to relax with friends on the shore of Waikiki Beach in Hawaii. During the confusing COVID-19 pandemic season I was living in, the world continued to shift with shutdowns, restrictions, and school closures.

One thing that was certainly not slowing down was the rise of sextrafficking. As a community activist, teacher, and mother, this heinous crime had been one on my heart to fight against for years.

Little did I know that on this beautiful day in Hawaii, I would be scouted and pursued by what seemed to be a “recruiter” of some sorts.

As I sat on the shoreline with water splashing on my legs, there were very few people in the area. I was in conversation with my friend when I suddenly felt a close presence. I glanced to my right and there was a phone just a few inches away from my face! A long arm attached to a very handsome young man was holding it. I asked him what he needed, thinking to myself, “Why on earth is this phone in my face? And has this young man lost his ability to use words?”

“Put it in,” he whispered.

“Excuse me?” I replied. I looked closely and saw the phone interface was opened to add a phone number.

“Put your phone number in,” he insisted. “You are the most beautiful woman on the beach! Where are you from? Brazil? You have to give me your number so we can chill,” he chimed.

“I could be your mother. You are wasting your time.” I kept insisting sternly, yet politely.

“Age is just a number,” he continued.

“I am in a relationship and am not interested,” I spit back.

“Oh, but you have never been with a Hawaiian boy, I could show you a good time you would not forget,” he retorted.

He was relentless and smooth with one line after another as if trained to persist without exception.

I politely attempted to shut this young man down for a few minutes. I didn’t want to cause a scene, but I needed this young man to leave me alone!

I countered, “Look I am not interested for many reasons.” I shared that I believed in saving sex till marriage and that I had a strong spiritual faith.

All of a sudden, this fast-talking, player hustler transformed before my eyes! He was caught off guard.

“I uh, respect that,” he stammered.

For the first time, he stood bewildered at a loss for words.

Yes. I explained to him that maybe he was caught up in some things he shouldn’t be involved in.

He targeted a woman who knows her value and is also savvy to the ways recruiters of sex-trafficking work to seduce women, teenagers, girls and boys into the horrific, evil world of exploitation. Just because someone is complimenting my outside beauty- I owe them nothing. Not my name, phone number, social media handle. Nothing.

Since that encounter, I have reflected back to my youth. The teenage Raiza would have probably given this young man her phone number. I thought of how just one wrong decision, like giving a phone number to someone with evil intentions could have destroyed my life.

These thoughts stirred something inside me, reigniting my passion to continue to be a light in this fight against exploitation of youth, empowering girls to know how precious and valuable they are, to understand what a healthy and honorable pursuit looks like, and educating adults in the community about this issue.

You deserve honor and respect—not to be objectified or manipulated—but protected and celebrated as a brave and beautiful masterpiece!

As he walked away, I glanced at my friend who is a professional in the fight against sex-trafficking. She said, “And that is how a scout works!”

I watched the young man walk straight into the fancy car he rode in.

He was certainly not at the beach to hang-out and enjoy the day. Maybe he was the young scout sent out to use his good looks and charm to reach his quota of girls to recruit. Was the driver of the car, who watched him the whole time from afar, the trafficker selecting targets?

Maybe it was a strange prank? Who knows? But what I do know is this young man arrived and left in a flash.

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WHAT KEEPS A VICTIM TRAPPED? Why don’t victims of sex trafficking just run away?

This may seem like the logical thing to do, but it is not easy and is probably an extremely dangerous choice. Victims experience emotional, physical, and psychological abuse, so running away is not as simple a solution as it seems.

ONCE TRAFFICKED, WHAT ARE COMMON THREATS MADE TO KEEP THE VICTIM TRAPPED? Traffickers use fear and control tactics to keep victims trapped and afraid to get help.

“I video-taped you having sex. If you tell anyone, I will show this video to your parents and all your friends and family. I will make it go viral in your school.

Such threats cause much fear due to overwhelming shame the victim feels.

“If you tell anyone, I will kill (or harm) your parents (or brothers/sisters/your family)!”

This causes great fear because the victim wants to protect their family’s lives. Traffickers may even show the victim a gun or weapon to intimidate them further. Traffickers may threaten to kill the victim herself as well.

WHAT ARE OTHER TACTICS THAT TRAFFICKERS USE TO KEEP VICTIMS TRAPPED? DRUGS & ALCOHOL: Traffickers will often drug victims. Traffickers can make victims addicted to drugs and/or alcohol and therefore, more easily control them.

VIOLENCE AND VERBAL ABUSE: Traffickers can use physical and verbal abuse, violence, and even torture, to keep victims controlled.

PORNOGRAPHY: Traffickers often make victims watch hard core porn

(which often includes violence towards women) to get them de-sensitized to all kinds of sexual acts and acts that can even cause physical pain. Watching porn helps to normalize what they see and experience.

EMOTIONAL BOND: Oftentimes, an emotional bond forms between the victim and abuser where the victim wants to stay in the relationship. Victims may believe their trafficker is the only person who loves them.

LEAD VICTIMS TO BELIEVE TRAFFICKING IS THIER ONLY OPTION: NOTE: In some situations, such as poverty, some girls willingly go into sex trafficking as a way of making a living and because they see no other options or job opportunities for themselves.

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REQUIREMENT TO REPAY THEIR DEBT: Traffickers can intimidate their victims and require them to repay them

financially for giving them housing and food and other material things they purchased for the victim.

ISOLATION: Especially if the victim is taken to a foreign country where they do not speak the language, the victim can feel helpless and even more dependent on their trafficker.

Most victims want to leave the sex trafficking lifestyle but feel trapped and helpless. This is where community members like yourself can make a difference by reporting suspicious activity to your local police or the National Human Trafficking Hotline.

IS MY FRIEND BEING TRAFFICKED? SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS

Listen. The silent cry. Do you hear it?

Because sex trafficking has become more and more common on school campuses and in public places, you may have a friend or classmate you suspect may be trapped in trafficking.

You are not sure, but maybe you think you might be hearing her silent cries.

BUT WHAT ARE SOME POSSIBLE SIGNS?

HERE ARE SOME POSSIBLE INDICATORS THAT MAY SUGGEST THAT SOMEONE IS A VICTIM:

•

Shows an inability to attend school regularly or has many unexplained absences.

•

Runs away from home regularly.

•

Makes references to travel to other cities frequently.

•

Visible bruises from physical trauma

•

Is depressed, withdrawn, fearful and/or very anxious.

•

Is often hungry or malnourished or lacking needed medical care.

•

Dresses inappropriately.

•

Displays a sudden change in how they dress, their behavior, their relationships, or material possessions. Oftentimes, victims are coerced by expensive gifts.

•

Has a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" who is much older.

•

Engages in promiscuous behavior that seems unusual or uncharacteristic from their typical behavior.

•

Makes references to sexual situations or uses sexual vocabulary that previously was not typical in her language or is not typically used by peers your age.

NEXT STEPS: Don’t be a bystander—you can help. Make notes of your concerning observations and report your suspicions to your school counselor. Instead of approaching the

person you suspect might be a victim, seek guidance from your school counselor for any further next steps.

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S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

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she is Brave & Beautiful you!

Pornography Sex Abuse & Trauma Sex Trafficking

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Take inventory of any way that you may be influenced by the ‘pornified culture’ you live in as described in the first article, Free from Porn.

• Have you posted things that were motivated by a desire for people to like your body? Or do you look at posts to compare your body to others? Choose to stop looking at and posting posts that promote body comparison.

• Do you look at porn regularly or from time to time?

Choose to stop and reach out for help if you have difficulty stopping.

• If your friends watch porn as a group, choose not to participate and consider sharing with them some harmful effects of porn.

2. If you have ever been sexually abused—even touched inappropriately by an adult, child (sometimes a child is victimized by another child), or teen—have you sought help and healing for that traumatic experience? If not, you can get help by reaching out to a trusted family member or relative, or trusted adult. Review the steps to healing in the article Stepping Stones: The Healing Process and consider walking them through.

3. Review the articles “10 Tips” and “More Online Tips.”

Make a copy of the “10 Tips” and memorize them.

Consider doing the following actions today or this week: • Set up a safety word that only you and your family knows.

• Memorize at least one trusted friend’s or family member’s phone number • For your safety, allow 2-3 people to track your phone so they know where you are.

• Set social media settings on private and turn off location information setting.

4. Practice being a safe place for others. Memorize empathetic statements you can say and actions you can do, to be a safe place for someone who shares with you about their trauma. Review the article Be a Safe Place and practice being a safe place for others whenever they share vulnerably about something painful. This article will give you things you can say and do that can bring a level of healing to them.

Start the process by sharing with one trustworthy person.

Seek help from professional counseling.

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1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. ••

PART 2

+ Voices of Freedom + Hope Rising

Hope rises.

Let Freedom Ring! There are silent cries…and you are beginning to hear them more and more. Now it is time to raise your voice together with others and declare,

“Let Hope Arise!”

In this section: • Ask yourself, “How is my heart being moved?”

• Consider ways you can become involved in helping others to be rescued, healed, restored, and protected!

Imagine this. As you arise, you just might become that miracle needed in someone’s life.

Yes you—a brave and beautiful miracle.

“Hope is the belief that a thriving future is possible, and you have the power to make it so.” CASEY GWINN “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” DESMOND TUTU “Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

CHRISTOPHER REEVE

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Voices of Freedom 48 BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Listen to the voices of survivors and be changed forever.

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A LETTER TO YOU FROM THE HEART DEAR SISTERS, I am Kawai. I am a survivor. I would prefer to be called a ’survivor’ rather than ‘victim.’

I was born and raised in Hawaii. Not long ago, I was your typical 15-year-old teen who cared about her looks, popularity, parties, and of course…boys! I was a very insecure teen, worried about my body image and beauty standards. I didn't have much planned for my future. All I wanted to do was party with my friends and live a reckless life. I had always told myself, “You only live once. Make the most of it!”.

Due to my behavior and the bad influences that were affecting me at the time, I transferred from a public school to a small private school that I didn’t even know existed. This is when my behavior and thought process started to get out of control!

I never believed sex trafficking was real in Hawaii, a place often called ‘paradise.’ I had no clue that I was about to be groomed and sex-trafficked into a dark world.

After I moved schools, an extremely popular, older boy soon became interested in me. So many girls wanted him. So of course, I felt on top of the world knowing that I had THAT boy! He was your typical bad boy with tattoos, gold chains, nice clothes, money, always invited to parties, and always had drugs on him.

In the beginning of our relationship, it was as if he could never do anything to hurt me. Yes, we had a cupcake stage.

I gave him my heart. He knew nearly everything about me.

He knew I didn't have a great relationship with my family. He knew I craved attention and affection, which is exactly what I got from him with a little twist no one saw coming. Anything he wanted me to do, I did. “Why”, do you ask? Because of the simple line he often told me, “If you really love me, you would do it.” That simple line became a tool to abuse, manipulate, and control me.

After four months in the relationship, he started to show his true colors. He knew I did not have a support system. I believed there was nobody else in my life who would listen to me or understand me. He abused me sexually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

I ended up running away from home on May 26, 2015. While living away from home, I attended a party that was held in Waikiki, a famous tourist area in Hawaii. The party was nothing I was used to. I was surrounded by older men and women who were drugged up and I was vulnerable to be taken advantage of. I stayed for the heck of it and ended up becoming drugged myself!

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I woke up in a dark room. No clothes. No phone. Just a thin blanket that did not cover my whole body. My body was aching, bruised up, and I had a terrible hangover. I had become an object that was worth money. After this incident, I was sold around to multiple men, raped, beaten, and starved. I felt so alone, helpless, worthless, and unloved.

Months later I was miraculously found, rescued, and brought home to my family.

However, I was not the same person, I was barely identifiable—new hair, 50 pounds lighter, swollen face, and much more.

The hardest part about this experience was my healing process. I did not know where to begin.

I spent many painful nights crying and asking, “Why me?” My healing process took many tears, trials, tribulations, therapy sessions, and most of all, learning to love myself and know my worth.

Learning to love myself was the hardest part.

How could I love myself when all I identified myself as were the mentally abusive names I was repeatedly called for the past 6 months?

I prayed to forgive myself, forgive my traffickers, and to move on. I wrote every day in a journal about how I was feeling.

I now look back on that journal and smile. Yes, smile. I smile because the teenage girl I was when I wrote in my journal is now someone who is able to walk in public by herself without going into a panic attack. I am a young woman now—a woman who has been through trauma, survived, and recovered. I know I am not an object for a man to buy for $500. I know I should not let myself be vulnerable to men just because I’ll get ‘attention’ out of it. I am a woman of immense value, as each of you are!

I speak to you from my heart. I hope my story will give you wisdom and inner strength to protect yourself from danger and give you the encouragement and inspiration to know that you have incredible value and purpose!

I learned that when you fall, you get up. You try again. You forgive.

You discover the beauty you have to give to this world and give it!

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free

FINALLY FREE

A STORY FROM A SURVIVOR SUBMITTED BY ZOE INTERNATIONAL BASED IN THAILAND One New Year's holiday, I went to stay at my aunt’s house. While I was there, my aunt asked me if I wanted a job working at a restaurant in the big city. I thought it sounded like a good idea and would be a way to earn money and help my grandmother, who I lived with.

I took the bus as my aunt had directed and, after many hours of traveling, I arrived at the restaurant. The city was very busy and different from what I was used to.

When I got inside the restaurant, a few other girls were also waiting to hear about the job. That night a man met us at the restaurant to explain. He told us that our job was not serving food—but that we would be giving sexual services to men.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea how this promise of a “good” job had turned out like this. I didn’t even know where I was, or how I could escape to find my way back to my grandma’s house. Had my aunt known about this all along? I felt confused, alone, and uncertain about what to do next.

One night, the owner was very nervous and told us to stay out of sight. We did not know why, but we heard shouting and the sound of police sirens. We were crouching down in a laneway just outside the back of the club when some of the other girls took a risk and ran away down the street into the night. I was too scared to run and remained hidden, my heart pounding.

All I remember next was that a bright light was shining on me and suddenly I was pulled up out of my hiding place.

I felt confused at first, but the reassuring voices of the rescue team were telling me that I was safe.

The ZOE Child Rescue team alongside local police successfully rescued Mina and some of the other girls that night and brought them to a safe house.

The owner of the bar was successfully prosecuted.

ZOE was able to reunite Mina with her grandmother.

Mina is now safe and working a job that she loves.

Mina thanks ZOE, for giving her “new life…life to the fullest” which is what ZOE means in Greek.

I felt scared. I was trapped.

Unable to escape, I was taken to another location where we started “work” the next night around 9pm and didn’t finish until 5am. Night after night, once the clients had all left, we girls would collapse exhausted and sleep upstairs above the club until it would all start again the next night.

The owner forced us to work every day.

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*Based on real life events. In an effort to protect her identity, her name and the details of this case may have been slightly changed.

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Hope Rising 54 BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

A generation is arising that stands strong against this injustice.

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There is Hope Rising.

Many people around the world are being moved to take action and do their part! Organizations are rising up in communities and nations that are committed to heal and restore victims of sex-trafficking.

It starts with you. And it starts with me. Let us connect with this cause and be fueled by passion to help bring transformation and freedom.

The journey to making a difference involves sacrifice, years of perseverance through hardship, and keeping the vision alive in your heart when you sometimes feel so alone!

But dreams do come true that change history.

let’s dream and discover what is possible.

“SHE NEEDED TO BE ABLE TO SEE HER LIFE IN THE FUTURE AS DIFFERENT THAN IT WAS IN THE PRESENT. SHE NEEDED TO BELIEVE THAT HER DREAMS COULD COME TRUE.”

- CASEY GWINN, HOPE RISING: HOW THE SCIENCE OF HOPE CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

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D O O D L E S O M ET H ING T H AT IL LUST RAT ES H OP E:

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The Global Crisis.

HEARTS ARE BEING STIRRED TO ACTION

The sex trafficking of women and children has been going on for thousands of years. With the growth of online access to pornography, the demand for buying sex has soared around the world.

Like the illegal drug industry, enormous amounts of money are being made by sex traffickers who are also involved with organized crime organizations and gang activity. Industry recruiters can be school classmates, boyfriends, or people considered online friends. In some cases, traffickers can even be family members.

BE INSPIRED WITH HOPE. We share these stories to inspire and bring you hope that organizations around the world are helping to recover, heal, and restore victims of sex trafficking.

BRING AWARENESS TO OTHERS AND BE PART OF THE SOLUTION. Share with others what you have learned about this issue and think of creative ideas to become part of the solution.

JOIN US. Is your heart being stirred? You can join in the fight by partnering with Explicit Movement as we connect with various organizations and ministries locally in Hawaii and globally. Together let’s make a difference!

Explicit Movement is honored to partner with Zoe International and other organizations in their fight to end human trafficking.

Together, we seek to bring healing and restoration to survivors of sexual exploitation.

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D O O D L E S O MET H ING T H AT ILL UST RAT ES F REED OM:

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BECOME A

FREEDOM FIGHTER

For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.

NELSON MANDELA

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HAVE ALL OUR THE RISING WHERE SISTERS GONE? OF THE SISTERHOOD

By Michele Okimura

Some of us have our gal pals we love and treasure who • have our back, • support us through thick and thin, • we can trust with our heart, • shoot straight with us when we need some feedback, • keep it all in confidence when we ‘blah’ out our rawest feelings, • point us in the right direction when the rubber meets the road.

• will think the best of us before assuming the worst.

• appreciate us just as we are.

Yet some of us have an unmet desire to have that kind of sister friend—maybe you once had a friend like that, but lost that friendship through varying circumstances, or maybe you never experienced that type of sister bond with a friend.

Finding those girlfriends, those girlfriends who ‘get us’ and we ‘get them,’ can be a process and can take patience.

AND...while in middle or high school, it is a fact that we can go through the heartache and the stress of various social dramas that can be discouraging, frustrating, even painful at times... leaving us feeling lonely, alone, and maybe even feeling misunderstood.

My hope for you is that you will be blessed with at least one close friend.

We all need safe places, a harbor for our hearts in a trusted friend. We need mutual friendships where we can be there for our friends in the same wonderful ways they are there for us.

Some of us may not relate at all to the concept of being part of a ‘sisterhood’, but I like to think of ourselves as a sisterhood of sorts symbolically.

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When I hear of sex trafficking and how there are over a million (some say millions) ‘missing’ girls and women on the planet who are most likely missing due to the horrors of trafficking and slavery, my heart breaks. Many cultures around the world throughout centuries to the present day have tended to silence, demean, degrade, use, and abuse women.

Though it is true that boys and young men also fall victim to sex trafficking— the majority of victims are female.

Because I am a woman, I feel a special empathy for my missing ‘sisters’ in the human race.

We can be mighty warriors and freedom fighters in our own unique way!

We can support and fight for honorable causes.

We can unite heart to heart and arm in arm. Life is not about a competition, so let’s refrain from competing to ‘one up’ each other. Instead of comparing ourselves to each other, let us learn to celebrate one another more and more!

As we stand alongside brave and beautiful women of all ages who want to make a positive difference, know that: • we are nurturers and we are leaders.

• we are gentle and we are fierce.

• we are compassionate and we stand strong for justice.

• we are healers and we are protectors.

We are friends, daughters, mothers, and sisters.

Will you consider ways you can help bring shining justice, mercy, and restoration to the world? We can do this together. Let us cultivate sisterhood and build healthy and life-giving community with others.

LET THE SISTERHOOD ARISE!

IF EVER THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE WOMEN OF THE WORLD COME TOGETHER PURELY AND SIMPLY FOR THE BENEFIT OF MANKIND, IT WILL BE A FORCE SUCH AS THE WORLD HAS NEVER KNOWN.” MATTHEW ARNOLD, NINETEENTH-CENTURY BRITISH POET AND PHILOSOPHER

LOVELY ONE, IF YOU DARE TO DREAM, YOU MUST BE BRAVE ENOUGH TO FIGHT.” LISA BEVERE

ONE WOMAN IS A TINY DIVINE SPARK IN A TIMELESS SISTERHOOD TAPESTRY COLLECTIVE; ALL OF US ARE WILD WOMEN.” JAN PORTER

PARTICIPATING IN A SISTERHOOD WITH OTHER WOMEN IS HUGELY IMPORTANT IN MY LIFE AND A SOURCE OF JOY.” CHRISTY TURLINGTON

WOMEN ARE GOING TO FORM A CHAIN, A GREAT SISTERHOOD THAN THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN.” NELLIE MCCLUNG

THE RISING

OF THE

SISTERHOOD

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Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT.

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

Voices of Freedom Hope Rising

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Throw a movie night or a viewing party where you invite friends to watch a movie or video(s) about sex-trafficking so they can gain awareness and prevention tips. After viewing, have a short discussion about their take-aways.

2. Form a book club and go through Brave & Beautiful with a group of friends and discuss your take-aways after each chapter!

3. Use your social media to help educate people about the issue—share posts about facts and ways to prevent sex trafficking.

4. Raise Funds for an Anti-Sex Trafficking Organization.

Be creative!

5. Creatively express the importance of sex trafficking awareness and prevention through the arts then share your work with others: • Write a poem.

• Write a skit about the issue.

• Write a song.

• Make a creative film to educate others and to help prevent sex-trafficking.

• Paint or create graphics to further the anti-sex trafficking cause.

6. Look for ways to support anti-sex trafficking organizations who do good work.

• Collect loose change: You can do your own fundraiser by collecting loose change from people you know and donate the proceeds to a credible local anti-sex trafficking organization or ministry you know of.

• Give up your birthday presents: You can throw yourself a birthday party but tell guests instead of buying you a gift, they can donate money towards your fundraiser to support an anti-sex trafficking organization of your choice.

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

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Listen to the silent cries and speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves.

Ensure justice for those being oppressed.

Yes, speak up for the helpless ones, and see that they get justice.

hey, Brave & Beautiful you,

Make the world a better place.

NO ONE CAN DO EVERYTHING BUT EVERYONE CAN DO SOMETHING. - MAX LUCADO

be the change.

BraveAndBeautiful.world

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BraveAndBeautiful.world