Brave & Bold: CLASSIC(non-faith based) VERSION: VOL 1

1

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

JOURNEY

FOR GUYS

DISCOVER PURPOSE

The Quest to Discover Welcome to your Brave & Bold Journey—a path to courage and confidence!

We want to make one thing crystal clear from the start—you matter, and your worth is immeasurable, regardless of whether you fully believe it just yet.

You’re not just any teen guy; you’re a unique individual with your own story, your own design, and your own purpose. We’re here to celebrate exactly who you are in your life’s journey up to this point.

Our mission is to help you build self-confidence, know your value, grow in wisdom for living, reach your full potential, and ensure your safety and well-being along the way.

Let’s kick things off with a fundamental question: “What kind of man do you aspire to be?”

What defines genuine manhood, the real deal? Is it about being a self-made success story? How have the men in your life shaped your idea of masculinity? And what does today’s culture have to say about it?

The concept of “manliness” might take different forms in various family and cultural backgrounds, but it often relates to qualities such as intelligence, humor, mental strength, and bravery. Yet, it’s clear that contemporary culture, in general, has been a bit hesitant to promote positive aspects of manhood.

Sadly, media and societal norms have sometimes focused on men in a negative light—as absent fathers, unfeeling individuals, and displaying overly aggressive masculinity.

You may have even witnessed real-life examples of these stereotypes in your own experience. This leaves many young men confused about what it means to be a great man and, in some cases, even reluctant to embrace the positive aspects of masculinity. We hope to shift the narrative away from harmful stereotypes towards a more positive view of manhood so you are left feeling strong, empowered, and emotionally and mentally healthy.

So, let’s start the conversation. The articles in Volume 1 will explore the traits and inner qualities that can guide you toward becoming the best version of yourself. This will serve as a launchpad for your journey of self-discovery.

As our journey unfolds, we’ll also delve into topics that empower you to navigate and protect yourself from potentially harmful situations and victimization.

This is a journey of exploration. If you approach it with an open heart and a willingness to learn and grow, be prepared to be surprised, challenged, affirmed, and transformed.

Your experiences, be they moments of joy, pain, loneliness, heartbreak, struggle, success, or victory, carry significance. Your story can be woven into a tapestry of bravery and boldness that has the power to make a positive impact on the world.

Remember, this entire journey was crafted with you in mind.

Embrace the discoveries that await you along the way.

With gratitude, The Brave & Bold Team

BRAVE & BOLD (CLASSIC) Copyright © 2024 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Art Direction and Graphic Design by: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Shutterstock.

TheBraveSeries.com Brave & Bold is a publication created by Releasing Generations, a non-profit organization that empowers people of all ages to thrive with purpose, while knowing their value. We focus on equipping leaders to positively impact young people through events, training, and resources that build emotional and relational wholeness and release creativity and leadership.

CREDITS: 14-16 “Brave.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, /brave. Accessed 17 Apr. 2024. “Bold.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, /bold. Accessed 17 Apr. 2024. 108-109 Photography by Nancy Vuu. Brave & Bold Volume 01 (Classic) – 10/2024

FOR GUYS

DISCOVER PURPOSE

The Journey: 01

Journey

Journey

HE IS BRAVE & BOLD ................ 08 Defining What is Brave & Bold

LET IT GO The Value of Forgiveness

KNOW YOURSELF ..................... 22 Becoming Self-Aware

GOOD GRIEF Dealing with Losses in Life

STAND FIRM ............................ 36 Being Secure and Confident

UNRAVELLING EMOTIONS Navigating Anger, Fear, and Anxiety

YOUR DESIGN .......................... 54 Discovering Your Uniqueness

STAY THE COURSE Persevering Through Hardships

BORN TO CREATE ..................... 68 Activating Your Creativity

PARENTS AND YOU Exploring the Impact of Parents

FREEDOM TO DREAM ................ 84 Dreaming Big for Your Life

FORGED IN COMMUNITY The Value of Belonging to a Community

Discover Purpose

Dig Deeper

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Discover Purpose

Journey

Journey

BUILDING YOUR CORE Establishing Character

PORNOGRAPHY The Negative Effects of Pornography

VALUES TO LIVE BY Embracing Key Values for Success

OVERCOMING TRAUMA Understanding Trauma

LEADERSHIP Becoming an Effective Leader

SEX ABUSE Addressing Sexual Abuse

FRIENDSHIP Building Healthy Friendships

SEX TRAFFICKING Protect Yourself and Others from Victimization

GUYS AND GIRLS Honoring Girls and Women

RISING STRONG Onward with Vision and Purpose

HE PROTECTS Guarding, Defending, and Supporting Others

THE BROTHERHOOD The Value of Men Arising

Develop Foundation

Daring Pursuit

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“Heroes are never perfect, but they’re brave, they’re authentic, they’re courageous, determined, discreet, and they’ve got grit.”

Wade Davis

Chapter 01

HE IS

Brave & Bold A FOUNDATION FOR LAUNCHING.

As we dive into the first chapter, let’s begin the journey to: understand and embrace the true essence of courage and boldness.

Let’s set aside any misleading, one-size-fits-all ideas we might have about what defines a great man. What are the empowering qualities that define authentic masculinity? What does it mean to be brave and bold?

Our search for answers begins now!

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A JOURNEY OF THE HEART: THE MASCULINE JOURNEY.

by Christopher Yanuaria

“Be brave and bold in your own unique way.”

While I was growing up, many voices told me what it meant to be a man. Everywhere I turned—from the movies I watched, my social media feed, TV ads, my friends, and family members—I was constantly swamped by messages telling me how to be happy and successful as a man. These voices told me I had to be in control, aggressive, dominant, independent, disconnected from my emotions (specifically sadness because anger was okay), I could never back down from a fight, and I had to have sex with many women. Some people refer to this definition of a man as the “man box.”

I remember first feeling pressured to live in the “man box” when I started middle school. Most popular boys were mean and bullied kids like me who were outside their friend group.

They were tough, excelled in sports, and dated lots of girls.

These boys were accepted and respected in our school. It was hard because I was a kind and gentle kid who cared for people, and most boys started off this way. I didn’t know how to be mean and how not to care. From that young age, I learned how to silence that side of me because it was unacceptable.

All I ever wanted was to be loved, respected, and accepted.

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With the help of several older and wiser men who mentored me, I began to redefine myself and allow love in. I started to believe that I was loveable, I was enough, and I was attractive.

I felt like I couldn’t be real because I believed being truly myself equaled being weak and unlovable. Every day I would get dressed and not even realize I was putting on a mask. This mask was a way to hide my true self that I was ashamed of, and a way to manage everyone’s opinions about me.

I have come to believe that an empowered man encompasses noble attributes such as:

Being this macho kind of guy did get me more friends, and I didn’t get bullied as much, so that’s a plus. But these weren’t the kind of friendships where I felt safe to be open and honest about what was really going on in my life. I felt more pressured to perform because we competed to see who was more “manly.”

▶ takes personal responsibility. ▶ is reliable and trustworthy. ▶ is teachable and pursues personal growth and emotional health. ▶ makes sacrifices for the good of others and worthy causes. ▶ does the right thing, even when it is inconvenient and no one is looking. ▶ serves others and is generous. ▶ connects to others in healthy ways. ▶ displays both courage and tender compassion. ▶ is caring and a good listener. ▶ carries himself with confidence without being rude or obnoxious. ▶ treats others with honor and respect. ▶ works hard and seldom complains. ▶ perseveres through challenges. ▶ has a sense of humor, and is witty without being sarcastic. ▶ is committed and loyal. ▶ creates a safe place for others. ▶ lives with a sense of purpose.

Trying always to prove my manhood was tiring.

It was also frustrating because the more and more I tried to fit into other people’s expectations of masculinity, the more I felt lonely and empty inside. Throughout my teen years, I struggled with bouts of depression and thoughts of suicide.

These were difficult times in my life.

Starting from a very young age, our culture tends to approve of men based on their external appearance, material possessions, social or professional status, and how they perform.

But true masculinity focuses on internal validation. So, we must ask ourselves: ▶ Who am I as a person? ▶ How do I treat people around me? ▶ How do I deal with conflict? ▶ What am I insecure about? ▶ What’s my capacity to share the full range of my emotions with others?

And so much more.

And it’s important to mention that, yes, good guys can shed tears, despite what older cultural messages may have said.

Looking back on my teenage years made me realize that I allowed the opinions of others and my culture to define who I was rather than defining these truths for myself.

I believe radical self-acceptance is the foundation of what it means to be a man. This conviction has ignited a revolution in my heart toward an ongoing journey of loving who I am.

In addition, many older TV shows and sitcoms often display men and fathers as silly, dumb, clueless, useless, passive, incompetent, and irritating. I also had to reject such negative examples of men.

I encourage you to journey toward accepting and loving the person you are. Aspire to be an example of someone who walks with confidence and character. Expand your thinking on the potential you have within you and the possibilities for your future to make a positive difference. Be brave and bold in your own unique way.

Instead, I asked myself, “Chris, will you be the ultimate authority over your life, or will you let the other voices determine your worth and value?

In the next two articles, lets explore what it means to be brave and what it means to be bold…

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brave/brāv/ Adjective.

Having or showing mental or moral strength to face danger, fear, or difficulty: having or showing courage.

BRAVE.

by Joshua Ko

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The countdown began.

How do we address fear?

10, 9, 8…

Be brave. The enemy of fear is BRAVERY, COURAGE, and a little bit of CRAZY.

What was I thinking? How did I get here? Why did I put myself in this situation? These questions raced through my head as I stood at the top of a 15-foot, refurbished wooden telephone pole about to make the “Leap of Faith.” Across from me hung the target—a rusty chain swing attached by a metal pole. I would have to leap forward and hang on for dear life!

A life of bravery is not the absence of fears and doubts but the courage to face them daily. While being afraid of the dark, heights, or falling might not affect you, one fear everyone faces is the fear of rejection. The fear of rejection keeps you from opening your heart to people who really care and love you.

7, 6, 5, 4…

3, 2, 1… JUMP!!!

My heart was racing. Sweat dripped down my brow, and my hands were clammy from my nervousness. At that moment, my eleven-year-old mind seemed to have forgotten all the instructions given by the camp director.

Conveniently, I also remembered that I had a great fear of heights and fear of falling!

“A hero is no braver than an ordinary man, but he is brave five minutes longer.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson With all my might, I jumped toward the swing! Unfortunately, as I flew through the sky, I misjudged the distance and overjumped! I was not able to hold on for very long.

While I didn’t “succeed” in this challenge, I succeeded in overcoming fear. In fact, the fear became fun, and I did it several times later and eventually succeeded in the “leap of faith.”

Will I make it? Do I have what it takes? What if I fall?

The distance between me and the swing seemed to get bigger and bigger with each second. Fear gripped my heart, saying, “Don’t do it! Turn around! Give up!”

“Living a brave life is not easy. We trip, stumble, and fall. It is the rise from the falling that makes us brave.” – Brene Brown

It’s interesting how clear the voice of fear becomes when we are faced with unknowns. While fear is a natural human emotion that moves us to persevere and protect ourselves from imminent danger, an unhealthy fear can keep us locked up and paralyzed from self-discovery and realizing our potential.

Those “5 seconds of courage, bravery, or crazy” broke the fear in my life and opened me to a new self-discovery, allowing me to live a wild, free, and adventurous life.

Face your fears with courage! You are stronger than you think you are.

Fear will give you many excuses and will bury you with worry and anxiety.

“Surprise yourself every day with your own courage.”

Denholm Elliott

But every young man was created for adventure. John Eldredge, author of Wild at Heart, states, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live...”

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bold/bōld/ Adjective.

Fearless before danger. Showing or requiring a fearless daring spirit.

BOLD.

by Joshua Ko

“There will be moments when “fitting in” is the most comfortable thing to do, but when the opportunity arises to “stand out,” take it.“ 14

What comes to your mind when you think of the word BOLD?

being the best YOU. Being Bold begins with (*PUN alert) being “Younique.”

If you are like me, I am quick to dismiss myself. I think of all the people who are “BOLD and COURAGEOUS” in the face of danger.

The first step into boldness is being the best version of you. The famous American poet Ralph Waldo Emerson stated, “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

But could I be bold like that?

The journey to becoming bold and courageous begins by anchoring your identity on the truth that you have immense value.

These people possess a supernatural ability to muster the inner strength to push the limits, to go where no man has gone before, and to do things that have never been done.

You were created to walk confidently in who you are and encourage others to do the same.

I think of Steve Rogers, later to be known as the Avenger, Captain America, who, without hesitation, jumped on a grenade to save the lives of those around him.

While Steve Rogers is a Hollywood character, many real unsung “heroes” act in selfless boldness, giving their lives for others.

This part of being bold allows you to: ▶ Find your voice. In what ways are you unique?

What is meaningful to you? ▶ Dream Big. Dream with no limitations. What would you want to do? What are your dreams?

I think about people like Neil Armstrong of Apollo 11, the first man to walk the moon or Amelia Earhart, the first female aviator to fly solo across the Atlantic Ocean.

“Often, in the real world, it’s not the smart that get ahead but the bold.” – Robert Kiyosaki

Boldness is seen in those who fought for civil rights, like President Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., Nelson Mandela, and Rosa Parks. While boldness led them into danger and conflict, it birthed a revolutionary movement to free enslaved people and conquer racism.

▶ Discover your passions. What do you like to do?

What are you willing to try? ▶ Make mistakes. We can learn, grow, and gain valuable wisdom from our mistakes.

While reading of these great heroes is inspiring, I automatically dismiss myself because I don’t possess that “boldness.” How can I make a difference or do great things when I am overwhelmed by shyness, fears, and insecurities? Do I have what it takes to do great things?

“The greatest failure is the failure to try” William Arthur Ward There will be moments when “fitting in” is the most comfortable thing to do, but when the opportunity arises to “stand out,” take it.

The reality is that each of these individuals did not just wake up with boldness and confidence in themselves.

Many of them probably felt like they didn’t possess it. The first act of courage is resisting conformity and

Ponder this quote on the next page by Marianne Williamson as an inspiration to grow in boldness:

Continued

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“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?...

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Journal your thoughts on defining what you think brave means and/or what bold means.

“Boldness doesn’t mean rude, obnoxious, loud, or disrespectful. Being bold is being firm, sure, confident, fearless, daring, strong, resilient, and not easily intimidated. It means you’re willing to go where you’ve never been, willing to try what you’ve never tried, and willing to trust what you’ve never trusted. Boldness is quiet, not noisy.” – Mike Yaconelli

There are times to be gentle and times to hold back… and then there are times to be bold!

In the space below, use your imagination and doodle what bravery looks like:

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Journal your thoughts on defining what you think brave means and/or what bold means.

I am

Mindful Lettering: When you write something down, it reinforces the concept and helps it to stick in your memory. Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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SO THE ADVENTURE BEGINS.

by Kai Klein

“Adventure is worthwhile in itself.”

Amelia Earhart, American aviator pioneer

Adventure is a word that warns of taking great risks; it gives you the anticipation that exciting circumstances are coming.

It means diving into the unknown even though it involves risk and sometimes even danger.

However, I believe we were all created to have a sense of adventure—to be a bit wild at heart at times and to accomplish worthy goals. Adventure can look different for every person and in the different seasons of life. We were not meant to be bored and passive and settle for the mundane, simply coping in life.

In your life, there are mountains to be conquered, dreams to be fulfilled, battles to be won, and possibilities to be explored.

My Uncle Pat is someone who refused to settle for an ordinary life. Many years ago, he started a global organization to bring food, resources, and other humanitarian support to impoverished people in China and other countries throughout Asia.

Now, for clarification, experiencing adventure in life doesn’t always look like an action-adventure movie. It’s not always scoring touchdowns in a football game, being a stunt driver for a race car movie, exploring uncharted mountain trails, or catching the biggest wave as a surfer. It’s not always bombastic and outrageous and dangerous. Let’s be realistic. Not all of us are going to be called to do those things.

Unfortunately, the Chinese government didn’t like what he was doing, so they blacklisted him from entering the country ever again. In order to continue the mission he was called to do, Uncle Pat had his name legally changed to “Jason Bourne”

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▶ Take off the limits you put on yourself about what you are able to accomplish. Don’t put yourself in a box—be open to trying new things and dreaming big.

so he could enter the country again. (If you don’t know the Bourne movies, Google them!) Uncle Pat has since returned to China many times despite the danger he knows he faces every time. He has become a real-life Jason Bourne.

▶ Grow in your flexibility and resiliency. Yes, stress can hit us at times when things do not go as planned or expected…but adopting an attitude of adventure that involves being flexible can help you to see unexpected gifts and experience personal growth!

Here are some tips for becoming an adventurous person who fulfills their purpose in life: Avoid staying in your comfort zone. The enemy of adventure is forever staying in your comfort zone.

▶ Take joy in the moment. You may have big goals and dreams—but don’t forget to enjoy the process, and don’t be so distracted that you miss out on adventurous moments in your day. Remember, the journey is an adventure.

“Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.”

Neale Donald Walsh Everyone loves the feeling of being comfortable, right? Although it sounds good, being in this place of constant comfort isn’t good for you or for anyone else. Some people go through life existing in this way, thinking that they are free from danger because they have a false sense of control over their circumstances. They are actually controlled and enslaved by their need for comfort. It’s an extremely dangerous way to try to live because you never give yourself an opportunity to grow or expand the horizons of who you can become as a person.

▶ Life is a gift. Start each day realizing that. Find adventure in something you do today. ▶ Progress is usually not a straight line upward. When on an adventure, you could get lost, accidents can happen, and you could get sidetracked! Yet you could discover and learn new things—even if it is what not to do again!

Sometimes, going in circles for a bit is part of the adventure and process! Be patient and expectant for opportunities that you would not have had or people you would not have met otherwise!

Do not always stay in your comfort zone. When it comes to personal growth and living life to the fullest on a daily level, we have to be willing to break out of our comfort zones and take some leaps of faith. The most interesting people I know are those who have taken significant steps out of their comfort zone.

What kind of risks are you willing to take to become a world changer?

Are you ready to live an exciting life and really start making an impact in the lives of those around you?

Embrace the ‘Attitude of Adventure.’ Whether you see yourself as adventurous or not, life happens. You get to decide how you will approach each situation.

“Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure.” – Bob Bitchin

Take that step of faith! Take a risk that will change your life for the better. The world needs you at your best, and the best you that you can offer is the one who steps out of your comfort zone. Life is an amazing adventure when we live this way!

Here are some helpful perspectives and attitudes that can help you along the way:

As you begin this Brave and Bold journey you are on, may your sense of adventure and purpose be activated in greater ways.

▶ Anticipate. Decide to anticipate positive outcomes.

How about taking a moment at times to stir up a bit of excitement and wonder, “What will happen next?” ▶ Discover! Explore! Stay curious and be a lifelong learner. Being open to new experiences is part of adventuring.

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Journal Describe what your family, community, and culture have communicated to you on what masculinity looks like. What are your thoughts regarding these messages?

mindful doodling 20

Chapter 1: He is Brave & Bold ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

• • • •

A Revolution of the Heart: The Masculine Journey.

Brave.

Bold.

So the Adventure Begins.

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Who is a man in your life whom you respect? It could be someone as a teacher, an uncle, a coach, or your dad. Ask to spend 15-30 minutes with them. Share with them a few things you appreciate about them (such as their confidence, leadership, compassion, etc.) Ask if they could share a bit of their life story and how they gained the qualities you admire and appreciate about them.

2.

Pictures are memorable and can communicate meaning. Using your smartphone, take a walk outside and take a photo of an object, an animal, or a plant that is a visual example or metaphor symbolizing courage.

As you look at the photo, consider what meaning you can attach to it. If you don’t have a smartphone, sketch what is highlighted.

around obstacles. Such abilities display the qualities of a remarkable man with a good work ethic!

GARDEN HOSE: You may notice a gardener watering his yard, and his water hose catches your attention.

Fresh, clean water flows to saturate the lawn, providing the much-needed moisture and refreshment for growing plants. Think about how a strong leader cares for and strengthens those under his leadership so they can thrive.

3.

Sketch a picture or write a poem expressing positive, great traits of empowered masculinity that can make a difference in the lives of others. Include any new insights you gained after reading this chapter.

Examples: ANT: You might take a photo of an ant. An ant gets things done, works hard, perseveres, and finds a way

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 21 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

“Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences and failing to achieve anything useful.”

Margaret J. Wheatley

Chapter 02

Know Yourself BECOME SELF-AWARE. The questions you ask yourself...matter!

As we kick off this journey, remember that self-awareness is a valuable tool for growth. Take time to ponder the fresh insights shared and keep an eye on the emotions that rise within you. It’s important to realize that it takes an open heart, time, and effort to embrace new and healthy perspectives for living. May what you discover bring great value to your life.

Self-awareness also helps us improve our relationships by understanding others and learning how to communicate more effectively.

Being self-aware isn’t something that comes naturally—it’s a skill to develop and practice! It is a key to personal growth, allowing you to learn from your experiences, make positive changes, and make wiser choices.

Self-awareness helps you connect with your emotions, enabling you to handle them in a healthy way rather than bottling them up or reacting impulsively.

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When you are reflecting, consider involving trusted individuals. Sometimes, we don’t fully understand our own hearts. When you discuss your thoughts with someone who truly knows you and supports you, they can offer valuable perspectives.

In this next chapter, you will be reflecting on relevant topics that will help you to know yourself better. You may become aware of negative beliefs you have about yourself that need to change. You will also gain practical keys to grow in self-acceptance and confidence.

WHO ARE YOU?

by KaHill Liddell

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Ever wonder what is your purpose?

In my journey of self-discovery, I have learned three things:

How do you discover your own unique path in life?

1. Without a firm foundation of knowing who you are and your uniqueness, others will try to mold you into what they want you to be.

2. Your place in life may change, but the core of who you are does not.

3. You do not have to fight for your identity, but you must discover and embrace who you are and your uniqueness.

The world bombards us with distracting and conflicting voices, telling us who we should be or what we should be doing. The pressure and expectations to fit certain molds or roles can come from others or even ourselves.

Some of the most important questions you will ask yourself in life are this: ▶ Who am I really? Am I “good enough” to really cut it? ▶ Will I be able not to repeat a cycle I have seen my parents or myself struggle with? ▶ Will people like me despite the color of my skin or my cultural background? ▶ Am I valuable? ▶ Will people like me if I show them who I really am?

It’s an identity that forms a person. It’s an identity that builds a community. It’s an identity that shapes a nation.

You may be known as the smart one, the serious one, the funny one, the creative one, the shy one, the crazy one, the stable one, the sporty one, the artistic one, the expressive one, the laid-back one, or the bossy one.

Being a brave and bold man does not have to do with conforming to cultural stereotypes. For example, you can aspire to work in a profession as:

The most beautiful questions are the hardest because they come from a real place in our hearts. We are always asking them whether we know it or not.

▶ a dancer ▶ a pilot ▶ an athlete ▶ a mechanic ▶ a baker ▶ a fashion designer ▶ an entrepreneur

Next question: where do you go for validation?

Is it your parents or family members? Your friends?

Your co-workers or people patting you on the back and saying, “Great job”?

Do you strive for recognition as a student, an athlete, or in some other performance-driven arena? Or do you not even try to achieve success because you believe you will fail?

Being a great and exceptional man really has to do with your unique inner qualities and values.

What lies behind those labels and roles when they’re stripped away? There is so much more to you than labels—labels are limiting. There is untapped potential within you waiting to be uncovered.

What matters is what you put your identity in.

The Truth: Your worth does not come from how many friends you have, how talented you are in something, the clothes you wear, or how high your grades are in school. It’s not even based on your ‘performance,’ though the world may say this. Though tempting, be careful not to base your value on how many followers or likes you have on social media.

▶ a screenwriter ▶ a scientist ▶ a marketing expert ▶ a construction worker ▶ a hairstylist ▶ a teacher ▶ and so much more!

You are on a journey of discovering the complex, intricate, and extraordinary facets of yourself that are within you! The world is waiting.

“The world is waiting for you, never give up on your dream(s). Arise and make an impact, there are people who are just waiting for your story which will give them a turn around in their lives.”

Wisdom Kwashie Mensah

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There is so much more to you than labels.

At the beginning of each day, you can ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to be today?

What attribute do I want to grow in? (for example, patience or kindness) What is the one thing I really want to accomplish today?

At the end of each day, you can ask yourself:

Some helpful self-awareness questions.

What went well today?

What did not go well—would I do anything differently?

What is something I learned or discovered today?

What is one thing I learned about myself today?

What 3 things am I grateful for?

If you had a concerning incident, you could ask yourself: Why did I react that way?

How do I feel about that?

Why do I feel this way? Does it remind me of a past experience?

There are numerous self-reflection questions a person can ask themselves depending on the situation—but you can start with a few each day to grow in your own self-awareness!

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Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.

If you want to change and grow, then you must know yourself and accept who you are before you can start building.

Lawrence Bossidy

John Maxwell

If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.

Until you take the journey of self-reflection, it is almost impossible to grow or learn in life.

Iyanla Vanzant

Daniel Goleman

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ACTIVIT Y

DISCOVER YOU! DO THIS. GETTING TO KNOW YOURSELF. What runs you down? Stresses you out? Makes you angry? Makes you afraid?

Makes you sad? Makes you happy?

I feel emotionally drained when:

I dislike:

I lack peace.

losing.

I am unhappy.

being wrong.

I don’t feel safe.

being in conflict with someone.

I feel overwhelmed by challenges.

being rejected.

I get excited and energized when: I get things done.

I am getting along well with others.

I am involved and gather others to join in.

I gather facts and knowledge and am accurate.

Do I :

I usually feel refreshed and energized when:

Tend to see the cup half full (I tend to focus on the positive).

I am around people interacting with them.

When I have my alone time.

Tend to see the cup half empty (I tend to focus on the negative).

Rank 1-6, 1 being the number describing you most, and 6 being the number describing you least.

I feel most loved by people when: They give me a gift.

They take time to do activities with me that I enjoy.

They give me a hug or physical affection.

They take time to listen to me and have quality conversations.

They say affirming, encouraging words to me verbally or written.

What makes you feel alive and sets your heart on fire?

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They do things for me.

KNOW THYSELF.

What builds you up?

What is that one thing that gives you energy?

What in particular do you have FUN doing?

What are 3-6 top things you value?

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.“ – E.E. Cummings

mindful doodling 29

“Why compare yourself with others?

No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.“ Eric Thomas

THE COMPARISON TRAP.

by Leila Fujinaka Certified John Maxwell Leadership Coach

Do you have a difficult time accepting yourself or parts of yourself? What are the barriers that prevent you from fully embracing who you are?

back and being less so that I could be like the person I compared myself to. I tried to hide my flaws and compared my weaknesses to other people’s strengths.

One of the quickest ways to become discouraged, envious, or intimidated is to compare yourself to others. Learn 5 KEYS to accepting yourself and be FREE from the Comparison Trap!

Once I learned about the negative power that comparing myself to others had over me, I searched for keys to break out of this trap and committed to change! This freedom is available to you too.

I’m so excited you’ve started your journey!

1. STARVE THE MONSTER:

For many years, I damaged my self-esteem by constantly comparing myself to others, and I didn’t even realize it! I often found myself trying to be someone I was not.

I denied my true identity and uniqueness by shrinking

Protect your thoughts from negativity. Do you define yourself through the lens of a mean inner critic, leading you to compare yourself to others? A negative outlook influences your thoughts and magnifies your

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shortcomings. This impact is a trap! It can take hold and make it hard for you to change the way you view yourself.

shameful. However, failures and mistakes, though painful in the moment, can be a great help to us if we’re able to learn from them and make needed adjustments.

In today’s world, negative influences primarily come from other people, news, media, and social media. In fact, more than 50% of news and 62% of social media is negative! Friends and family can affect your selfesteem and mess with your inner thoughts, leaving you discouraged about your future and life.

Everyone experiences failure. If you’ll allow yourself to be mentored by your mistakes, you’ll be further ahead than your counterparts. Give yourself grace and patience in the process. Learn to accept your role in the failure, but don’t stew in the negative emotions! You can move forward with more wisdom and insights that you gained.

2. OWN IT!! MISFIT IS YOUR SWEET SPOT! “I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” – Maya Angelou

Ever feel like a misfit? Do you find when comparing yourself to others you try to copy what others do or think, only to realize that’s just not you? This is a common pitfall of unique individuals who feel like misfits. They feel like they don’t fit in even when they try their hardest to.

5. SERIOUSLY CULTIVATE SELF-AWARENESS! Do you find you are defensive? Controlling? Are you unable to recognize how other people experience you?

When we improve our self-awareness, we find that we will become more comfortable with who we are.

Self-awareness is not something you are born with, it’s a skill you practice and develop!

Each of us is created to see the world in our own way, with unique ways of thinking or displaying a unique personality. If you find yourself feeling like a fish out of water, find a new stream, one that suits you. If you’ve spent a lot of time comparing yourself to others, it will most likely take a bit of time for you to adjust your perspective and create a new ‘ideal you.’ You may discover your true self for the first time!

If you struggle with comparing yourself to others, know that you are not alone in this struggle. Comparison can rear its ugly head at any given moment, no matter what age you are, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

My greatest joy would be that you would implement some of the points in this article and begin developing self-awareness to know when comparison is trying to hook you once again.

3. GET PERSONAL WITH GRATITUDE Are you aware of how much time is lost when focused on comparing yourself to other people? Comparison takes your eyes off your goals and can cause you to feel bad about how you’re doing. When we focus on other people’s paths rather than our own, we lose perspective on where we are headed and lose sight of the progress we’ve made. Take the time to look at what you’ve accomplished so far and measure yourself against yourself, not another person. Be grateful for the many things you have in your life. Trade the trap of comparison for inner acceptance and contentment.

You are a powerful young man with so much to conquer ahead of you AND so much to offer the world. You do not have to look or be like someone else. In fact, comparing ourselves pushes us towards being phony. The world is tired of phony. Be on a mission to embrace your unique personality, your unique style, and your unique characteristics. There isn’t anyone like you...so live out your uniqueness courageously!

“Don’t let your mind bully your body.”

June Tomaso Wood

4. PICK YOURSELF BACK UP AFTER FAILURE.

“Change is possible, but it must start with self-acceptance.” – Alexander Lowen

Ouch! Ever made some pretty huge mistakes or experienced painful failures? I have. Have you ever compared yourself to those you think have never made those same mistakes? Get this: Embarrassment from a failure is NOT the end of the world! Perfection comparison can cause us to feel helpless, stressed, or

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REFRAMING HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF.

by Michele Okimura

YOU ARE A GIFT.

YOU ARE AN OVERCOMER. BELIEVE YOU HAVE GREATNESS WITHIN YOU. BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF.

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“The most important words we will ever utter are the words we say to ourselves, about ourselves, when we are by ourselves.” – Al Walker

I was really touched by what Rabson shared. I’m hoping that his words hit home for you as well.

What kind of life do we want to have? A life that counts and makes a big difference in the world, or a life that is insignificant? Let’s take the limits off of ourselves and dream big!

Are you thankful for who you are & are becoming?

There was a time last year when I realized I needed to rethink how I saw myself. As I dove into creating content for the Brave & Beautiful publication for teen girls (the counterpart to Brave & Bold), I faced many challenging experiences. Even though I was super excited about this project, I also felt a bit of pressure with the decisions I had to make.

Reframe how you see yourself.

We are learning an overcoming lifestyle. Instead of being overwhelmed with what you are not, you can be overwhelmed with the goodness of who you are! Reframe how you see yourself and celebrate your growth each step of the way.

Honestly, up to that point, I had found it difficult to see myself as a confident, courageous woman...although I desired so much to be just that! What I didn’t know was that I was about to tackle my negative beliefs head-on.

From sad to celebrating We all experience failures and make wrong decisions at times. We are all in the process of maturing. With humility, start this process of reflection:

I was unexpectedly confronted with this issue many times on a particular Friday when I had back-to-back meetings with people throughout the workday. The shocker? From morning to late afternoon, a total of six different people (completely unrelated to each other) ended up telling me the exact same thing!

▶ Take time to reflect on the situation ▶ Admit when you are wrong ▶ Decide you will learn from mistakes Then ask yourself these questions:

While discussing work-related topics with each of them, they each paused at some point to let me know that they saw me as a courageous, brave woman. One of them even mentioned how my courage and confidence were a real inspiration to him! I was genuinely taken aback!

▶ What went wrong? ▶ Why did it go wrong? ▶ What was my contribution to what went wrong? ▶ What lessons learned can I take with me going forward? ▶ What can I be thankful for and celebrate in this situation?

Sometimes, other people can see the gold in you that you can’t see yourself.

Later that same day, I decided to re-read some encouraging messages from people that I had collected over the years. A now-distant friend, Rabson Chandaro from Tanzania, Africa, had shared with me several years earlier an affirming message that made me realize I really needed to change my mindset.

Reminder: When we experience a loss due to a failure or wrong decision, it is healthy to take time to grieve.

Forgive yourself and others if you need to. Then reframe the situation and see the good that can come from what happened—like lessons learned and wisdom gained!.

Believe you have greatness within you.

You are an overcomer.

Be patient with yourself.

You are a gift.

Here is an excerpt of what Rabson shared with me: “...It’s about how you view yourself. If you have a small view of who you are, you will build something that equals your view of you.”

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Journal In addition to journaling with words, you can also do Mindful Doodling!

Whether stick figures or intricate designs, release your creativity!

Growing self-awareness will help you to have greater influence over the outcomes of situations you face and can help you gain healthier perspectives in life.

Knowing yourself better will often help you to make wiser decisions and grow in confidence. When you are more attuned to your thoughts and emotions, you can better identify negative emotions and reactions that may be harmful to your emotional well-being.

Journal: What stood out to you in this chapter regarding any new discoveries you had about who you are and your unique design? You can also journal about any aspect of yourself that you felt affirmed and encouraged in.

Draw yourself as something in nature. Then pause and reflect on what your drawing reveals to you about how you see yourself.

mindful doodling Look over the list of words below. Circle the words that are highlighted to you— words that you like and have positive feelings about when you read them. organized free creative strong friendly humble brave resourceful loyal generous

confident musical artistic considerate respect imaginative independent brilliant intelligent honest

practical adventurous safe hard-working daring responsible successful helpful loving compassion

persevere overcoming visionary unity collaboration ambitious competitive energetic determined witty

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fun peaceful joyful mercy justice trust wisdom tolerant relaxed faithful

flexible capable dynamic healing encourage beautiful bold healthy exciting devoted

excellence kind protect leader humor integrity spiritual genuine wild action

Chapter 2: Know Yourself ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

• Who Are You? • The Comparison Trap.

• Reframing How You See Yourself.

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Make a list of the 5-7 top values that are most important to you. This affirmation activity can help you to believe in your worth. What you value matters—it is part of your identity and your contribution to the world around you.

2.

Write a letter to your future self in 20 years. Be free and creative. This will help you to get in touch with your emotions and inner thoughts. You can include some of your goals, hopes, recent accomplishments, current emotions, challenges, and struggles.

3.

Write an uplifting letter to your younger self 5-10 years ago. Just like the previous activity, this can help you to get in touch with your emotions, and realize the wisdom and insights you have gained. What are some things you would have wanted someone to have supported you in back then? What encouraging words would you have wanted to say to your younger self?

4.

Informally interview someone who you know genuinely cares about you and who you trust and respect. Explain to them that you want to grow in self-awareness and would like their input. Below are some possible questions you could ask them to help you to be more aware of what they see in you and what they have observed about you: • How would you describe me in 3 words?

• What are five positive character traits you see in me?

• What are three things you have observed I am good at doing?

• What is one area I could work on improving?

• What is one way I have added value to your life?

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 35 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

“Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm.”

Abraham Lincoln

Chapter 03

Stand Firm

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. What is essential is to establish yourself and stand firm on a foundation of truth that you are important, special, unique, and have immense value.

You must not define your worth by what others say or even what negative things you may say about yourself.

For many, it is often difficult to believe such truths. False messages can creep into our core beliefs, which cause us to doubt our importance. This next chapter was created for you to help the truth make its journey from your head to your heart.

From this place of knowing your worth, your values are formed, and your decisions and choices are made.

Gain strength for the journey ahead as you build a solid foundation. Stand firm in knowing your incredible worth.

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STAND FIRM IN THE BATTLE.

by JerriAnne Webb

“Sometimes, you will have battles to face and fight.”

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There is a warrior inside of you.

Once out of the shower, a soldier handed Vikitor a wornout coat to put on. To his surprise, he discovered a note tucked in the coat’s pocket. The words of encouragement on that note gave him the determination to keep going.

He understood that even in the darkest times, he still had the freedom to choose his attitude, outlook, and thoughts­—something the war couldn’t take from him.

Maybe you will never fight in the military during wartime, but all of us are in a war of sorts!

Some say the greatest battlefield is your mind. Even if you don’t feel equipped—know this—you have the power to shape new, positive ways of thinking, attitudes, and viewpoints. Your thoughts are the weapons of warfare in any personal battle you are in.

After being in the death camps for three years, Viktor miraculously emerged alive and victorious, whereas many others around him had lost hope and the will to live.

“One of the greatest revelations of my life is: I can choose my thoughts and think things on purpose.

In other words, I don’t have to just think about whatever falls into my mind.” – Joyce Meyer

Years later, Viktor wrote the book “Man’s Search for Meaning,” helping millions of people know they can choose their perspective when faced with adversity.

The battlefield of your mind.

Our emotions and actions are typically based on the thoughts we focus on.

“Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.” – Victor Frankl Refuse to listen to negative thoughts about your value and future! Instead, shut them down with positive truth statements such as:

It is common for onslaughts of negative thoughts to fill our minds, especially during sad, hurtful, traumatic, and upsetting situations.

▶ I am enough. ▶ I have value and worth. ▶ I am not a mistake. ▶ I am strong. ▶ I have grit. ▶ I choose to have character and integrity. ▶ I have a purpose. ▶ I have courage as I walk into my future.

However, there are examples of people who can inspire and encourage us to understand the power of our thoughts.

Viktor Frankl’s story shows us how strong the human mind can be. Viktor, a psychiatrist, was locked up in the Nazi death camps during World War II. Every day, he wondered if he’d see another day or face death. In those camps, he saw unimaginable horrors inflicted on people.

One day, the Nazi soldiers split the prisoners into two groups. Viktor was terrified, thinking he was done for, as the soldiers ordered him to remove his clothes in front of them. But as Viktor’s group was led into the showers, he was taken aback when water started flowing over him It was then that he realized the other group must have been led to their tragic end.

Don’t ever give up! Adversity will come. Sometimes, you will have battles to face and fight. Remember, you have a great purpose, and your future is worth fighting for on the battlefield of your mind!

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” – Victor Frankl

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“Be like a tree in pursuit of your cause. Stand firm, grip hard, thrust upward. Bend to the winds of heaven. And learn tranquility.”

Richard St. Barbe Baker

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UNAFRAID TO SHINE A poem by Joshua Kaina

I purpose to sing a new song today,

I have always had an adventurous spirit at heart. I almost fell off a cliff in 6th grade because I wanted to explore.

I can begin to activate the creative spirit within me that has been untapped and unfulfilled for so long.

But somewhere along the way, fear and anxiety crept in.

I can flow in the magnificence of my design.

I thought it better to keep myself small and contained.

Brave, Shining. Valuable.

I was afraid of my light because it wasn’t like others.

Unafraid. Unashamed. Unapologetic.

I didn’t know that I had a unique radiance of my own.

Some men fight with sheer strength.

Some men fight with a pen.

I settled on believing the labels and identities that the world thought were suitable.

Some men fight with the finesse of artistry.

Purpose shall arise out of my failures, pain, and shame.

An acronym could never describe the potential contained in ordinary me.

Lies come with great cost.

This is the era of new life and a new season.

Lies devour and destroy sacred purposes and destinies.

Free of labels and false identities.

Free of lack and fear.

Yet hope arises as forgotten dreams can be restored. And past losses and hurts healed.

Unafraid to shine.

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~ you are ~ Never underestimate the power of words, especially when it comes to shaping your thoughts.

Declare the following affirmations.

I AM UNIQUELY AND WONDERFULLY DESIGNED. I HAVE IMMENSE VALUE. I AM A PRICELESS GIFT. MY DREAMS MATTER. I HAVE A VOICE MEANT TO BE HEARD. I HAVE A PROFOUND PURPOSE. I HAVE THE GREATNESS WITHIN ME TO MAKE A POSITIVE DIFFERENCE. I AM DESERVING OF LOVE AND RESPECT. I AM BRAVE AND BOLD. I WAS BORN FOR SUCH A TIME AS THIS. On the lines below, create your own personal identity statements to add to the above list.

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WHO TOLD YOU. Exchanging lies for the truth.

“Self-worth comes from one thing—thinking that you are worthy.” – Wayne Dyer

Try out this quick activity! You will need two sheets of paper.

Many of us have grown up having people around us label us, reject us, call us names, and put us down through words and actions. Sometimes we judge ourselves and tell ourselves lies that contradict the truth of our immense and incredible value.

Who told you you weren’t good enough? Who told you you’re worthless? Who told you you are not loved? Did anyone ever put a negative label on you?

1. On one of the sheets of paper, write down a list of negative words you would use to describe yourself (such as ugly, not good enough, etc.).

Write whatever comes to mind. These are negative judgments or labels you have put on yourself.

2. Next, on the other sheet of paper, make a new list of opposite, positive words from the list of negative words you first made. These positive words represent your value and your potential!

“People will try to label you not good enough, too slow, too old, too many mistakes. You can’t stop negative comments or prevent negative labels, but you can choose not to let them hold you back.”

Joel Osteen

3. Next, crumple the first sheet of paper with the negative words and throw it away.

The point is, who told you? Was it a family member? Was it a classmate? Was it yourself?

4. Meditate on the list of positive words, and for each word, say, “I am.” Declare the positive about yourself. Even if you don’t believe the statements fully, there is power in speaking out these positive statements! You want to change your mindset in how you think about yourself. The negative beliefs only serve to hinder your amazing potential within you!

THE TRUTH: You have immense and incredible value. You were planned and purposed. You are NOT a mistake.

An experiment was done in a high school class where each student wrote the words “I am SPECIAL” on a sheet of paper.

In the next 24 hours, if someone said or did something that was somewhat hurtful, they would tear off a portion of that sheet that represented how much the action or words ripped at the statement that they were special. By the next class period, the students were to share what their sheets looked like.

5. Jot down 3 of your favorite positive, affirming words below:

The result was that most of the class had little or NO sheets of paper left! Negativity in the world we live in abounds.

HOWEVER, we must be careful about judging ourselves and believing lies about who we are. Hold on to the truth that you are special and valued!

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“Sometimes in life, more people tell us what we can’t do than what we can. While some may be well-meaning, others may speak out of jealousy, ill-intent, or ignorance.”

OVERCOMING INTIMIDATION.

by Dominic Jones

Everyone, except a young teenage boy. Despite being told by his own people that he was neither skilled nor strong enough, and there was no way he could win, the boy faced the giant and told him he would defeat him.

The giant, both insulted and amused, laughed at the boy.

Seconds later, a smooth stone launched from the young boy’s sling and struck the giant in the head, killing him.

No one wanted to fight him. He was huge!

When he stepped onto the battlefield, fear filled the hearts of everyone who saw him. Imagine basketball great Shaquille O’Neal, who stands seven feet and one inch tall, having to look up at a man almost three feet taller. To say he was intimidating was an understatement.

If the soldier’s physical stature was not enough to make the manliest of men quake in their boots, his skill as a warrior was. This man had been training for battle since he was a child and had defeated many foes. He carried both a sword and a spear 20 feet or more in length.

Everyone on the other side of the field cowered as this giant of a man yelled insults at them.

Most everyone is familiar with the story of David and Goliath. In fact, this story is commonly used as a sports metaphor when a seemingly inferior competitor faces a superior opponent. The truth is that David and Goliath encounters are not limited to the playing field or the arena. They are a part of everyday life.

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At some point, all of us will face a giant that seems bigger and stronger than ourselves. This giant could be a person, such as a bully, or a challenge, like overcoming an addiction, conquering a fear, or having a mountain of things to do with limited time to do them. Regardless of the form the giant takes, it intimidates us and can make us want to run and hide. Thankfully, we can take a few lessons from David to help us overcome intimidation and defeat the giants in our lives.

First, we must know our worth. When David stepped on the battlefield, he had a clear understanding of who he was and what he was capable of. He did not compare himself to his incredibly large adversary or to the hundreds of trained and experienced soldiers watching from a distance. To do so would have likely left him demoralized and too scared to step onto the battlefield. Instead, he recounted all the times he used his skills to overcome adversaries bigger and stronger than himself. By focusing on who he was rather than who he wasn’t, he was able to defeat Goliath.

whereas David was only a boy. David could have let the opinions of others deter him and dictate his destiny; instead, he chose not to let what others thought about him change what he knew about himself.

Sometimes in life, we have more people telling us what we can’t do than what we can. While some may be well-meaning, others may speak out of jealousy, ill-intent, or ignorance. The truth is, no one gets to define your worth…unless you let them. An anonymous author wrote, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” Surround yourself with people who see your potential and focus more on what is possible instead of what isn’t.

Lastly, we must take action. A giant left unchallenged remains a giant undefeated. It is unrealistic for us to expect the giants in our lives to simply give up and surrender without a fight; giants fall only when confronted.

Let’s be honest. Facing the people or situations that intimidate us is not easy; if it were, everyone would be doing it, and this article would be unnecessary. Taking action requires courage. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the choice to act in spite of it. When we act with courage, we discover intimidation is nothing more than an illusion intended to magnify the size of the challenge and minimize our abilities. We discover we are capable of overcoming the giant in front of us as well as the giants to come.

Like David, all of us are skilled and talented in our own unique way. Unfortunately, we sometimes diminish our value by comparing ourselves to others. We perceive, often incorrectly, that we are not as gifted, talented, or skilled as someone else, and therefore, we are unable to meet the challenge before us. This is simply not true.

The truth is, we were never intended to be anyone other than ourselves. What we don’t have is never as important as what we do have, and, even more importantly, what we do with it. When we embrace who we are and what we bring to the table, we discover our ability to solve problems and overcome challenges in our own special way.

Second, we must ignore the critics. Prior to stepping on the battlefield, David was told he could not possibly fight Goliath because Goliath was a trained warrior,

Face the giants in your life, slay them, and move on. Do not be daunted by the mistakes and failures in your life.” – T.D. Jakes “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela

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SECURE IN YOUR BODY IMAGE.

by Matt Webb

“The truth is, I really was good enough.”

Hey, are you grateful for your looks? Do you accept the build of your body? Do you like the way you look?

The issue of body image for a guy can be real… and painful.

People come in all shapes, sizes, body forms, skin tones, and a limitless variety of facial features.

Ever heard of ‘small man syndrome’ ? Yup, there is such a thing! It is commonly known as the Napoleon Complex, a nickname often used for guys who are on the shorter side. Some people use this term to talk about the shorter guys who try to make up for their height by being extra aggressive or controlling.

Maybe you are satisfied with your looks…or maybe you struggle with literally hating certain aspects of your body. Accepting and appreciating your unique body can be challenging.

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I was always smaller than everyone growing up. I was a great athlete, so that helped me with some confidence. I also worked out to compensate for being small. Working out helped me have more self-confidence because I was one of the strongest guys in my grade.

When thoughts of comparison come up, reflect on the great qualities that you already have.

Regarding my body image, I have accepted the gift of the body I have, and I am now married to my beautiful wife, who thinks I am attractive despite my height! My life is amazing now.

I would hear girl after girl talking about guys, and they would say they were not interested in ‘that guy’ because he was too short. Such comments would always make me question how someone viewed me because I was not as tall as the guy they talked about.

Grow in accepting the body you have. I encourage you to keep positive, continue to grow your strength of character, develop your gifts, and pursue growing in confidence. Reframing how you see yourself with a more positive mindset can propel you forward.

Regarding my height, a girl once said to me, “Well, you are different.” In my mind, all I heard was, “You are way too short. You are not enough.”

Because of the insecurities I had, I was constantly trying to measure up. I turned to a life of addiction to medicate my pain and shame. I was always looking for comfort and fulfillment, so I turned to pornography, tobacco, and alcohol. All those substances were used to fill a void in my life.

ACCEPT AND APPRECIATE YOUR BODY ▶ What do you like about your body?

I am thankful that was not the end of my story!

Finally, there came a time when I recognized that there were hurts and wounds in my life that needed to be healed.

▶ What don’t you like about your body?

One of my main struggles was dealing with rejection.

That rejection led to thoughts of not being worthy. I believed lies such as:

▶ Some people are blind, deaf, or without limbs. Some people have lost their sense of smell or taste. Some people have heart problems or serious health conditions.

▶ “I am not good enough.” ▶ “I am too short.” ▶ “I am a complete failure.”

What would change in your life if you focused on what your body CAN do rather than your looks?

The list of lies I believed about my worth went on and on. It was a process of discovery involving reflection and effort that allowed me to realize the negative beliefs I had about myself. I learned to reject those negative beliefs. The truth is, I really was good enough.

You may not like certain parts of your body—yet there are things about your body you can be thankful for.

There is so much more to you than your physical looks.

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SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SOCIAL MEDIA. Anonymous

Have you ever found yourself in a scrolling daze?

or I envy what someone else has. I sometimes feel thrilled because many are liking my posts, or I find myself down in the dumps because no one seems to be noticing my efforts.

I know I have.

When I have a gap of time, my phone is my go-to. Why? Usually, because there’s nothing else to do…opening social media is easy. I find that scrolling through one video typically leads to watching yet another video.

The first is funny. The next is serious. The next one pops up, and I wonder how these three guys will make an impossible trick shot with a pool ball into that pool table pocket— from a balcony?! What’s going to happen?

How will it all end? I have to watch!

“What you might be surprised to learn, however, is that passively consuming social media and other forms of technology, even when we’re feeling prey good about ourselves, can result in our feeling way more sad, anxious, grumpy, annoyed, and irritable than we did moments before we logged on!”

Paula Durlofsky, Psychologist Keep tabs on your feelings; they will tell you a lot.

Before I know it, five minutes of wasted time turns to thirty, and if I’m not careful, I get sucked in for an hour or two. It’s not that what I am doing is “bad” per se, it’s just not all that productive or profitable either.

I want to remind you that social media presents a reality that is often distorted. It typically does not reflect genuine, honest experiences, challenges, and struggles from daily life.

I am watching someone else’s fun versus having my own.

That kind of bothers me. Shouldn’t I really be living life versus observing someone else’s?

In December 2023, 13D Research & Strategy brought up some interesting points in their article, “How does Technology Rewire the Intricate Circuitry of the Teenage Mind.” For those of us who invest much time using media and communications technology, here are some helpful highlights:

How do you feel after looking at social media? Do you feel more valued or less valued? Do you feel rested and rejuvenated or agitated, down, or stressed? I know how I feel. Usually, I have a slightly irked feeling. Either something offends me, I feel uncertain about myself,

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A research study by Seoul’s Hanyang University Medical Center examined data from over 50,000 teens. The results revealed that teenagers who excessively use their smartphones have a 66% higher likelihood of reporting substance use and a 22% higher likelihood of contemplating suicide compared to their peers.

What is the alternative to experiencing the roller coaster of emotional highs and lows of social media engagement?

▶ Research has pinpointed a strong connection between the increased use of smartphones and a decline in mental well-being.

1. Limit social media time. Many of us are addicted to social media without realizing it. There are apps that can limit your time on social media by giving you a notification when you have reached a time limit. Instead of repeatedly checking social media, check it once or twice a day.

Here are some helpful ideas to reconnect with the world around you, helping you to STAND FIRM in your confidence and value:

▶ According to a 2022 study by the Kaiser Family Foundation, children and teenagers spend an average of 7 hours and 38 minutes each day engaging with virtual media.

2. Phone a friend. Does that sound odd? Why would you talk versus text? Express your care for others by engaging with them in a live conversation. When you talk to someone, it can lift your mood. Connection in conversation will bring real meaning to you instead of a fake connection.

▶ When children start using technology at younger ages, it can seriously have a long-lasting effect on their brain and behavioral development. They might become more prone to anxiety disorders, have greater difficulty processing emotions, and even be at risk for neurodevelopmental issues like ADHD.

3. Take a walk. Real rest is not found on a handheld device; it is found in seeing the world around you.

Notice the beauty of nature around you and the people walking by. Take in deep breaths of fresh air.

Enjoy peace.

When you get a positive message or a ‘like’ on your post, your brain releases a natural hormone called dopamine. This hormone plays a direct role in creating sensations of pleasure, motivation, joy, and satisfaction.

If the anticipated reward of “likes” is not experienced, dopamine isn’t released, making it easy to have negative feelings that can lead to depression, self-harm, and anxiety.

4. Find an activity you love. Become the subject of interest instead of an observer of it. Do you love biking? Go do that! Be the most adventurous biker ever. Love playing guitar? Play it. Hit those chords with power!

I know how that feels. I am sad and disappointed when others don’t respond to me. I feel unseen, unknown, and unwanted. But what would happen if I were to apply myself to connection in the real world as much as I do in this fake world?

5. Become a learner. It is easy to get caught up in mindless videos; TikTok is famous for that. But what if you use your mind? Grow it? Harness it. There are great things to learn in the world. Identify your interest and invest in that.

How might my sense of value, worth, and significance increase? How might the joy of being in nature, having some laughs, and making in-person connections with others change my heart and mind? How might it change yours too?

There is a whole world set before you, ready and waiting to be explored. Be a pioneer and an adventurer rather than a passive watcher and observer. High-level adventure awaits you. Joy is before you. The screen is just a screen, but the mountains, real laughs, new trophies, deep meaning, and higher achievements await you. Grow your self-confidence. Go get ‘em and enjoy the exciting world set before you!

Note that the brains of young men are still developing up to the age of around 25. The brain, like heated plastic, takes on the form of what it is fed.

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GUARDRAILS FOR GROWING IN SIGNIFICANCE.

by Samuel Pyo

“You are valuable simply because you exist.

Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.”

Max Lucado

When I was younger, I always wanted to be helpful. I would find myself in my parent’s store in the Downtown Fashion District in Los Angeles, working the cashier, stocking the clothing racks, and putting samples outside for people to browse through. I loved being a good worker. My desire for acceptance, praise, and love dictated my actions. I was motivated by a fear that one day, I would be cast aside because others would view me as useless.

However, what happens when we don’t reach that ideal or dream? Our insecurities can begin to take hold in our lives and control us.

As we move forward with ambitions for our future, let’s guard ourselves against an unhealthy drive for significance rooted in our fears and insecurities.

Did you know that even our desire for significance can be damaging to us when taken to the extreme?

Many of us men struggle with a fear of not being significant.

I believe we all want to have a purpose. Our desire to be significant, useful, and competent are all great aspirations that can motivate us to move forward in life.

I have found that pursuits in our lives can be generally categorized in the following list, which I find to be true for most people. Becoming more aware of the following can help

50

us guard ourselves against falling into unhealthy traps that hinder our quality of life.

Don’t avoid uncomfortable situations. Getting out of your comfort zone can stretch you to grow and mature in new ways.

Power: The desire for authority and influence to make a positive difference is a good desire. However, be aware that a person can have an unhealthy passion for power, success, winning, and influence that is rooted in the fear of being seen as useless or a ‘nobody.’ People who thirst for power want people to recognize they are successful and powerful. They tend to do whatever they please because they feel like they have the authority to do so, causing people around them to feel used. If someone perceived to be stronger comes around, they feel inferior.

Control: Taking control in your life can be a good thing, such as making good choices and taking steps forward to help ensure a successful future. There are areas in our lives where we should steward and lead with excellence. However, the drive for control that is rooted in the fear of being out of control can lead us astray. Those who are driven by control will be controlling in relationships as well and can even be abusive to keep their control over others.

The assumption that “If you study hard, you’ll go to a good college. And if you go to a good college, you’ll get a good job.

And if you get a good job, you’ll live an easy life,” is untrue.

The reality is that it is impossible to have complete control over our lives. We must recognize that, even though we may do the right things, not everything will go according to plan.

Life can be unpredictable. Recognize opportunities to grow in being flexible and resilient.

Know that you are a powerful person already. You have the power to make choices. Your words and actions carry the power to impact others around you. Your power is not meant to be used to push others down but rather to lift others up.

Approval: It is a natural human desire to want the approval of others—this is why children typically want to please their parents. There is a deep-rooted desire in all of us for someone to love us unconditionally without judgment. However, those who are driven by an unhealthy need for approval due to the fear of being alone can make others feel smothered. A tendency of an approval-driven person is people-pleasing. Because they care so much about what people think of them, they can compromise their values and convictions not to make waves.

They tend to put their identity into their performance only.

Achievement: There is wonderful creativity inside of each of us. The drive we have to build, improve our world, and make a difference using our unique gifts and talents is an admirable goal. There is also the value of doing things with excellence.

However, we get into trouble when we base our identity and self-worth on our abilities and achievements. People who need to be the best may struggle with perfectionism. There is a place for healthy competition in many areas of life. However, we need to be careful not to be extreme. It is unhealthy if a person only feels valued when they perform well, but if they don’t stand out, they feel worthless.

It is good to accept the fact that not everyone will like you—and that is okay! No one can please all people. Keep being teachable and correctable, considering the feedback of others—and at the same time, you need to be you. You already have value and worth!

Our sense of worth cannot be found solely in what we achieve or how we perform. Yes, put forth your best effort in whatever you do and embrace a good work ethic. At the same time, be secure in knowing that you have intrinsic value by simply being you. Whether or not you win that competition, get that A grade, or win that award, it is so important to be aware of your inner fears and what drives you to do what you do.

Comfort: It is a natural desire to want comfort in life. Having times of stress-free rest, relaxation, and fun are good and important. However, a person with an unhealthy drive for a comfort-filled life, driven by the fear of experiencing hardships, can take the ‘easy way out’ and avoid struggles at all costs. An example of this can be seen in a person who always gets A’s in class without studying and hardly doing the homework (I was that kid, and it drove all my friends nuts!). Sometimes, people who crave comfort and ease feel that people are bothersome to deal with, so they may tend to neglect relationships.

You are already capable, competent, and significant in your own unique way. Keep growing in your skills, knowledge, experiences, and gifts. Within you is incredible potential to impact lives and change the world around you!

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Journal What stood out to you in this chapter regarding your beliefs about yourself and any new insights you gained? In what areas would you like to grow in confidence and stand firm?

mindful doodling 52

Chapter 3: Standing Firm

• • • • • •

ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

Stand Firm in the Battle.

Who Told You? Overcoming Intimidation.

Secure in Your Body Image Self-confidence and Social Media Guard Rails for Growing in Significance.

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Create a personal “I AM” affirmation statement list. Here are some helpful tips: • Be Specific: General affirmations like “I am awesome” are less impactful. More specific wording, such as “I am a great communicator,” is more effective.

4.

Create a Victory or Celebration Journal. Record your accomplishments, listing dates. This can be an encouraging reminder of your achievements whenever you are struggling with self-doubt. It can help you focus on the positive and be reminded of your successes and growth

• Keep Positive: Write positive, affirming statements.

Avoid negative words such as “not” or “don’t.”

• Repeat Often: The more you repeat your affirming statements, the greater transformation you will experience in your thinking.

• Speak Them Out Loud: It makes a difference to verbally declare your statements.

2.

Make 3-5 mini affirmation posters with positive statements and put them where you can read them daily. You can write your statements on a sticky note or index card. Examples: I am a valuable team member.

I am a creative problem solver.

3.

Make a list of 10 things that you like/appreciate about yourself. For some, this may be difficult, but challenge yourself!

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

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“There has never been another you. With no effort on your part you were born to be something very special and set apart. What you are going to do in appreciation of that gift is a decision only you can make.”

Dan Zadra

Chapter 04

Your Design you have a story.

the tough stuff can be used for good. Some of the most influential men in history faced overwhelming hardships and emerged stronger.

Here’s the deal, guys. Think about it—no one in history has ever had the exact blend of smarts, personality, temperament, gifts, talents, passions, sense of humor, hopes, and dreams that you do.

But here is a big question: How will you express your uniqueness?

What’s even cooler is your one-of-a-kind voice. It’s not just about what you have to say but how you say it. Your voice is unlike anyone else’s on this entire planet, and it is meant to be heard.

Embrace your design and what makes you tick.

Find positive ways to express yourself. Recognize your strengths and become more aware of your weaknesses; it’s all about the journey of self-discovery and growing into a mature young man

You have a story. Every experience, every victory, every challenge—it’s all woven into your design. Even

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WAYS TO EXPRESS YOURSELF.

by Michele Okimura

Write it! Draw it! Paint it! Make it! Dance it! Capture it!

You are one of a kind. The way you naturally enjoy expressing yourself is as unique as you are. Sometimes, words alone can’t capture the full depth of what’s inside of you. Maybe it’s singing a song, strumming an instrument, whipping up a dish, painting a canvas, inventing something new, breaking out in dance, or capturing a moment in a photograph that really does the trick!

And who knows, perhaps you want to express a value, a strong belief, or a positive message to others in your own special way.

Here are some possible ways you can explore expressing yourself. Why not try some new expressions? You may just discover something new about yourself!

1. WRITE A POEM Poetry can allow you to freely express your feelings without the constraints of needing to use correct grammar. You can even make your poem into something artistic to look at. One word repeated, or a phrase or question can be expressed randomly. Be inspired and freely write! It can rhyme or not rhyme. It can follow a pattern or not. Lyrics to a song are also considered poetic writing.

Poetry can be especially helpful to write during intense, sad, and difficult times or immense, joyful times because it can help you release those deep, dark or excited and exuberant feelings you have.

2. FILM IT OR TAKE A PHOTO

moment by taking a photo or video with your smartphone or camera when something is highlighted to you or when you are inspired to do so. Attach a meaning to that moment.

Consider taking a moment to interpret the photo as it can express an inspirational message.

It has been said, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”

3. PAINT IT OR SKETCH IT

A photo or a video captures a moment, and the interpretation of it can speak volumes and move the heart. Photos and videos can often inspire and encourage others. Capture a

Painting or sketching can be a great way to express yourself.

Whether you are more realistic or abstract, there are no rules!

Even painting a canvas one color can mean something to you!

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The famous artist Pablo Picasso said, “Every child is an artist.

The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.”

Unlike what teachers can sometimes teach you about coloring within the lines, I challenge you to color outside of the lines.

Expand the possibilities!

There are no rules when you are creating a painting or sketch— be as free and as wild as you want to be! Have the courage to express yourself through this visual way. Experiment and try releasing your feelings and thoughts in this way and see what happens.

4. MAKE IT

6. PLAY YOUR INSTRUMENT OR SING A SONG

Maybe some of you like to build things, sculpt things, invent things, produce a film, bake things, or craft things. You can express your ideas in woodworking, interior decorating, refurbishing a car, creating a fashion statement, creating a graphic, inventing an item or a system to solve a problem… the possibilities are endless!

Making a melody can be an effective way to express our hearts.

Singing a sad song when we are sad or singing a happy song when we are happy can bring great expression. Playing a beat on a drum can express joy or anger—or playing a certain melody on any instrument can be a ‘voice’ that can powerfully and simply express our heart and mind without words. Play whatever melody comes out freely. Or sing a song while just making up the melody and words in the moment. Explore new ways of expressing yourself through music.

Something you make can express your thoughts and emotions in a tangible, symbolic way—especially if you like to work with your hands. Many different types of materials or media can be used.

7. WRITE A STORY OR A SCRIPT Whether writing a fictional story or a screenplay to express yourself or journaling a real account with real emotions can get what is inside of you onto paper.

There are many unique ways to express a thought or emotion through your ‘creations.’ Attach meaning to it.

5. DANCE IT For some of us, dancing it out releases what is inside of us!

Whether hip hop, popping, ballet, hula, jazz, lyrical styles, contemporary or cultural dances...or just, however—go for it!

You don’t have to be a professional to dance. It is interesting that you don’t have to ‘teach’ a toddler to dance—they just start moving their bodies to the beat of a song. Most cultures, if not every culture, have their own form of dance. Maybe we were all made to dance in our own way?

Dancing does not always need to be a formal performance in front of people. It can be an authentic expression from within.

If you are someone who enjoys dancing, consider playing a favorite song that expresses your emotions and dance to it!

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Express Yourself You have a story to tell...

You have a voice.

“I want to write, but more than that I want to bring out all kinds of things that lie buried deep in my heart. I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.”

Anne Frank, Diarist

Keep this in mind as you go through Brave & Bold.

We know your life can be busy, and it is challenging to start a new habit, but journaling can change your life!

Whether you journal on your computer or write with pen and paper, you can start with simple and small baby steps.

Journaling, writing down your thoughts, is one of the most profound practices! It can help you connect with your deepest feelings and help you process and work out difficult, even painful, situations. It may help you discover creative solutions and fresh insights you didn’t know you had within you. It also records your story, your personal history, that is being written with each new day.

From whispers to a roar.

Maybe your soft whispers will turn into a mighty roar that impacts this world in ways you couldn’t even imagine!

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How to begin:

• Start with writing about anything you want to write about.

• Reflect on your day.

• Pick a time of day that is best for you to write.

• If you don’t know how to begin, make a list of things you are grateful for.

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• What are your feelings and thoughts?

YOUR PLACE. YOUR PART. YOUR PURPOSE.

by Willy Paul

“Your strosr. yYou were matte pecifically made s uence others to inflake a positive and m ence in only differ y you can.” the wa

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I don’t know what it is, but I stub my toe a lot. Like, more than what I think is healthy. It’s gotten to the point where my pinky toes are kind of permanently scrunched up. They are cowering in fear of the next time I think I can walk through the house without having to turn any lights on. There have been times when I’ve had to turn down invites for fun things with my friends because it hurt so bad to wear shoes!

If you do, you are not alone! Remember the truth that you were born with great purpose and you have immense value. You have distinctive traits, special interests, and a unique sense of humor. There is only one of you in the history of the world.

Sometimes, you may question why you have the personality and physical attributes that you have. Maybe you have even wondered why you were born into the family you were born into. Your story matters. You have the power to make a positive difference around you in only the way you can.

The weird thing is, when I have a stubbed toe, all I can think about is how bad it hurts. But when my toes don’t hurt, I don’t think about them at all. It’s strange— something so small and insignificant, so seemingly unimportant, can be forgotten so easily, yet have such a big impact at times.

Find your spot.

I love witnessing people finding a spot in life that’s perfect for them; it could be with a certain friend group, hobby, or something they just click with and instantly love to do. If you feel like you haven’t found that spot yet, then take heart! You are in an exciting position! It means that you get to keep trying new things, serving new people, and exploring all of the ways you are unique.

Don’t give up hope; be patient. You do have a spot. You were not created by accident.

There have been times when I have felt like the pinky toe of life. I’ve felt as though I don’t matter, or I’m overlooked. With being able to see all the great things in everyone else’s life through social media, it’s really easy for me to play the comparison game: “Well, I’ll never have as many followers as them. They’re way cooler than me.” or “What? They got another car? I’m never gonna make as much money as them. Why do I even try?”

So, what if you haven’t found your fit yet? I’d encourage you to spend some time talking with family, friends, or a trusted adult and ask them some questions about what makes you unique. What gifts and strengths do they see in you? You could also ask for their help in exploring and finding opportunities to try new things.

The truth is, even though you or I may feel small, we each have great potential to impact the world. Whenever I’m stuck in a doom scroll on social media, I remember those people I’m reading about would not be my best friends, have the same inside jokes with my family, or be part of the communities I’m in that I love being a part of. They’re doing their thing, and that’s fine. I’m so thankful, however, that I have my little spot where I can be fully myself: be loved by the people I love, and do what I love to do the way I love to do it.

As you become more self-aware of who you are and how you fit, you will grow into the person you were meant to be! Take time to reflect and appreciate the person you are and the person you are becoming.

Know the truth about your value.

You do have a place. You do have a part. You do have a purpose.

Do you sometimes struggle with the following thoughts?

“I am not significant.”

“I’m not as good as so and so.”

“I don’t matter.”

“I feel like a mistake.”

“I feel invisible.”

“I don’t have a voice.”

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ACTIVIT Y

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do.” – Brené Brown

THE POWER OF YOUR STORY Think back over the different stages of your life. Recall significant and memorable experiences. The events in your unique life story shaped who you are today. The following activity will help illustrate how your story reveals clues you may not know about your design.

On this timeline, from birth to present, graph and label 3-5 significant events in your life that are positive memories. Also, mark and label 3-5 significant negative events in your life that caused you emotional pain.

• What were your greatest successes?

• Was it an individual success or a team success?

• When did you feel most excited?

Recall the greatest challenges and painful times you had to overcome. *Use the space above and below the timeline for your recordings.

Birth

Present

How did you feel doing this timeline activity?

Looking at your timeline, you see the hills and valleys of life you experienced. Do you notice any themes or patterns? If so, make a note of them here:

Meditate on your timeline for a moment. Do you notice anything? Is there something you never saw or realized before? If so, what is highlighted to you?

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“Do you know what you are? You are a marvel.

You are unique. In all the years that have passed, there has never been another child like you. Your legs, your arms, your clever fingers, the way you move. You may become a Shakespeare, a Michaelangelo, a Beethoven. You have the capacity for anything.

Yes, you are a marvel.”

PABLO CASALS

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ACTIVIT Y

Your Design DISCOVER / ACCEPT / CELEBRATE YOU! There are so many various temperament and personality tests you can take to discover more of your design that are worth taking. Some are even free online! Explore and take some of those tests to discover who you are, who you are not, and your strengths and weaknesses.

You will be continually changing, maturing, and blossoming forth throughout your life. Know that you have a unique and specific design that you will continually grow into more as you mature! It will be a process and

• • • • • • • • • •

an interesting journey as you discover the facets of your own sparkle and live it out!

Let’s have some fun! Take a look at these four common groupings of traits that generally separate personality types (of course, we can have traits in more than one group, but we usually will relate strongest to one type).

Note that the Myers-Briggs personality test has broken it down further to 16 personality types and combinations!

• • • • • •

ANALYTICAL ORGANIZED PERFECTIONIST ORDERLY AND FACTUAL LOVES ROUTINE PROMPT/MEETS DEADLINES RESERVED PERSEVERING INQUISITIVE DETAILED AND METICULOUS

• • • • • • •

TASK-ORIENTED DOES WELL UNDER PRESSURE NATURAL LEADER – TAKES CHARGE COMPETITIVE DECISIVE AND BOLD COMMUNICATES TO THE POINT TENDS TO CONFRONT DIRECTLY WHEN IN A CONFLICT • ENJOYS CHALLENGES • SELF-RELIANT

• • • •

FEELS EMOTIONS FRIENDLY AND RELATIONAL TEAM-ORIENTED EASY GOING AND NON-DEMANDING GOOD LISTENER CARES A LOT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THEM VALUES HARMONY LOYAL TENDS TO WANT TO AVOID CONFLICT SYMPATHETIC AND NURTURING

• • • • • • • • • •

ADVENTUROUS NATURAL PROMOTER AND MOTIVATOR ENERGETIC ENJOYS BEING SPONTANEOUS FREE-SPIRITED TAKES RISKS VERY VERBAL AND MIXES EASILY NATURAL VISIONARY OPTIMISTIC LIKES VARIETY

Which words in the chart above do you most identity with?

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You have a

Journal

Refer to the colored personality chart in the article “Your Design.” We are often a combination of personality types but are usually strong in one of them. Which type of personality do you identify with the most? What reflections helped you reach that conclusion? What are some insights you gained from this discovery?

mindful doodling 66

Chapter 4: Your Design ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

• Ways to Express Yourself.

• Your Place. Your Part. Your Purpose.

Choose one or more action steps: Become more self-aware!

1.

Look at the article “Ways to Express Yourself.”

Pick one of the seven expressions you have not tried before and do a related activity. You may discover a new way to enjoy expressing yourself. It is good to experiment with new expressions to see if you enjoy them or not.

2.

Look online and read up on articles on ‘personality shapes.’ If you had to pick a shape to represent you, are you drawn to a triangle, square, circle, or squiggly line? You will find great descriptions of each shape (that you will find accurate for the most part), learn about your personality type, and appreciate the differences.

4.

Find out your love language. How you best receive love is also part of your design and is something good to be aware of. Do you feel the most loved when someone gives you a gift, does an act of service for you, gives you quality time, gives you words of affirmation, or gives you physical affection like a hug? Go online and take a free 5 Love Language survey. Have your friends and family take the survey also as a fun activity to learn the ‘love design’ of the people you care about.

3.

Search online and read articles on ‘4 Animal Personality Types.’ You may find a free survey to fill out to discover which personality type you relate most to. It can help you to understand and appreciate your design and the design of others.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

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“Creativity is seeing what everyone else has seen, and thinking what no one else has thought.” Albert Einstein “The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” Julia Cameron “Creativity is inventing, experimenting, growing, taking risks, breaking rules, making mistakes, and having fun.” Mary Lou Cook

Chapter 05

Born to Create YOUR CREATIVE FLOW. Are you in your creative flow?

Some of you reading this may have experienced a situation where you stepped out creatively and were criticized or rejected...which made you hesitant to risk again or even think you are creative.

Here are thoughts to ponder:

Everyone needs some level of creativity to

Every human being is creative in their own unique way.

• • • •

Do you agree? If you disagree, hopefully by the end of this chapter you will agree!

Whether a person is a *Parent *Mechanic *Doctor *Landscaper *Musician *Photographer *Business person *Artist *Athlete *Hairdresser *Mathematician *Cook *Construction Worker *Technician *Engineer *Teacher *Architect *Plumber *Government Official *Electrician *Student *Farmer *Manager or in any role, creativity is required.

solve a problem resolve a computer issue write a paper compose a text on your phone (especially if you use emojis!)

• create a social media post • dress for the day • make a sandwich

• make a chart • organize items • create a speech or presentation • decorate a room • put on make-up • plan an event

The Fun Factor: When you find yourself in your creative flow and create something, you will typically feel a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction and experience a dose of joy and excitement.

Creating can be fun. In this section, be open to embracing your creativity in new ways AND disregard any notion that you are not creative!

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Do Something Creative Every Day.

YOU ARE A MASTERPIECE!

by Jan Tetsutani

Many people struggle with believing they can be creative.

Usually, creativity is associated with the arts, but I assure you, it is so much more than that! Think about it. A smartphone started with an idea in someone’s imagination before it ever existed. The same can be said with a medical procedure, a new business strategy, how to bring unity in the midst of conflict, advancing technology, sports, science, stories, visual arts, poetry, or even helping someone in need. Creativity looks beyond the obstacles and sees the possibilities.

stars in the night sky, it can cause one to wonder. Like the stars in the sky, you too can cause people to wonder, to pause, to be inspired. Copycat paintings are not as valuable because they are not the original, but, you—you are THE original, one-of-a-kind masterpiece!

The majority of the time the purpose of something is determined before it is created. The creator did not create a chair and then think it would be for sitting. A paintbrush wasn’t made to stir soup. Just as a ladle wasn’t created to paint. You are made with a purpose!

1. Take some time to lay on the ground and look at the stars in the sky. What does this cause you to think or feel?

TAKE SOME TIME TO REFLECT

2. What is unique about yourself (what do you feel passionate about, what are your gifts & talents, your skills, your unique perspective, your experiences)?

You are uniquely made with different gifts, talents, passions, experiences, perspectives, and stories. You have a unique expression like no one else. Don’t allow yourself to get caught up in the comparison trap.

3. How would you feel about your friend trying to be someone else? Why would that upset you? Have you been comparing yourself to someone else?

Sometimes we can feel of little or no value because of the way we’ve been treated. We may feel stomped on, rejected, and discarded. But this does not change your value. If a hundred-dollar bill were to drop on the ground, get trampled on, and get into the gutter—would it still carry its value? Of course! Because its value has never changed, despite what it has been through.

Your value never changes!

4. What are some ways that you can dream and creatively express yourself this week?

Could you paint, write poetry, compose a song, or write out the business idea you have been thinking about? Could you figure out a solution to a problem your friend is facing?

Have you been facing a problem? Could you brainstorm some ideas to bring a solution?

In the art world, what makes a masterpiece so valuable is its uniqueness and beauty. It can cause the admirer to pause, reflect, and be inspired. When you reflect on the vastness of an ever-expanding universe, recognizing the beauty of the

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what if?

by Michele Okimura

You. A complex sign, wonder, and celebration in this world. You were born to create. You. A unique combination of science and art. What if?

What if a dance imparted hope?

What if a technological breakthrough served the poor?

What if a drama secured a dream?

What if a painting transformed a city?

What if... as you created... brilliant wisdom, inspiration, and solutions were released that changed lives?

What if a strategy ignited vision?

Be released into your creative design!

What if a poem healed depression?

What if this is your time to create?

What if a song mended a shattered heart?

What if a creative solution impacted generations?

Freedom awaits you!

Create to serve. Create to express love.

Create to make a difference and be the change.

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THE POWER OF CREATIVITY

by Sheldon Lacsina

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.”

Maya Angelou Artwork by Sheldon Lacsina

“There’s no way you drew that!”

It was the end of my 5th grade year. Up until that point, I couldn’t draw anything well. I was sitting next to the best artist in the school, Salvador. We were all supposed to draw something for our final project…I chose to draw a flamingo.

After I finished my drawing, I looked at it, and to my surprise, it looked pretty good to me. Just to double-check to see if what I was seeing was correct, I showed it to my friend Salvador.

He blurted, “Oh my goodness, this is amazing! Look at what Sheldon drew,” as he held my sketch up for everyone in the class to see.

Someone shouted, “YOU drew that, Salvador! Sheldon is not that talented!”

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“It was me!” I shouted, still in shock at what I had drawn.

“Seriously, it was me!”

So, “What do you need to start now?” Here are some tips to help you get started when it comes to creativity:

A bunch of classmates challenged me and said, “Then draw something else! We want to see you try.”

1. Start small.

If you want to get stronger in any skill or ability, you will need to begin creating. Work on a small project to get you started. If it’s learning a new instrument, research it before you purchase it. If you already have the instrument, just start with five minutes of creating music and build from there. If it’s poetry, write a short poem. If it’s video editing, make a 15-second video clip. Just start small.

So, I drew another bird, which looked just as good as the picture I copied. From that day forward, I realized I could draw anything!

Fast forward years later. One day, while I was in high school, someone teased my artwork. I told my sister, who is a year older than me, what the person said. She didn’t defend me or ask me who it was who said it. She simply said, “Sheldon, everyone is an artist in their own special way.”

2. Find out what kind of environment activates your creativity best.

That’s all I needed to hear to understand that creativity has no boundaries and you cannot make mistakes being creative.

Releasing creativity is about exploring the possibilities and, at the same time, learning to get better with every creative moment.

For example, let’s say you want to master a certain exercise routine. Be creative and do a short workout with music if the music gets you in the mood and motivates you. Discover what kind of atmosphere helps to activate your creativity—is it being in a quiet room? Is it being inside or outside? Is it listening to a certain kind of music?

The power of creativity is available to anyone because creativity comes from the person creating it, not from someone else approving of it. Everyone is creative in their own special way.

3. Be consistent.

Discipline is far more important than the outcome. Develop habits that will help you get better at what you’re being creative in. Your habits will lead to better outcomes.

There are so many ways to be creative. Some people are creative with their words, some with their music, some with their athletic ability, some with art, poetry, writing, thinking, building something, and sometimes even how they live their lives. You can creatively present an idea, an innovation, a solution, or a design that expresses your unique perspectives.

4. Have fun.

You must enjoy the journey. Be okay with making mistakes… you can always learn from them. Be patient with yourself, and don’t take yourself so seriously. Know that some people may say negative things to you, but don’t let that discourage you or stop you from proactively expressing your creativity.

Decide whether any criticism has some value to help you grow and improve or if you should simply disregard that comment.

Being creative is about presenting a piece of art, a design, an idea, or an innovation in a way that is filtered through your own unique perspective, talent, and skills.

Sometimes, we have difficulty being creative because we compare our creation to something else or ourselves to someone else. Instead, focus on what you’re feeling rather than how you think someone will respond to your creation. You can always learn from the end result of what you’re creating.

Use whatever ability you have to be creative as you dream big dreams for your life. You will see the world around you get better because you were able to add your creativity to a world that needs it.

Taking the first step to create is the hardest part of the creative process. It takes courage to take risks and to step out. If you don’t start something, you can’t build from there. So, just start creating. You can always adjust from that point on. but if you don’t start at all, there’s nothing to improve, nothing to learn from, nothing to adjust, nothing for you to enjoy, and nothing for others to receive.

Keep expressing your creativity in your own unique way, If you do, I believe someday people will be in awe of what you created and will exclaim, “No way you just did that! Wow! That’s amazing!”

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IMAGINATION.

Your Superpower.

by Frank Monteleone

If you could wake up tomorrow with a superpower, what would it be?

artistically. Your mind has the ability to create through the power of imagination.

Have you ever been asked that? If not, have you ever thought about it before? Which superpower would you pick if you could?

What if you unlocked your imagination to envision bigger possibilities for your future that exceeded all of your natural expectations of what you can do in your life? Could the power of your imagination be untapped in your inner thought life?

Your imagination can help to release your immense potential.

Through your imagination, things are created, and the doors of possibilities open wide.

What if I could show you that you have a superpower within you?

We all have an imagination. As a kid, I am sure you had a big one, as children often do. People may think our imagination is something not to be taken too seriously. I wonder if you ever heard a teacher or mentor say to you, “If you can just work on growing your imagination, then you’ll be a success in whatever you do.”

“Your imagination is your preview of life’s coming attractions.” – Albert Einstein I believe your imagination, which is your ability to envision, see with your mind’s eye, and dream, is one of the key ways to discover and understand your purpose and the treasures with you.

Unlike animals, human beings have the ability to imagine the future, dream, envision possible inventions, and create

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There was a point in my life years ago when I was beaten down by what I did for a living because the film industry can be so competitive. I would audition for parts in projects, and it was common not to hear back whether I got the role or not.

Experiencing rejection in the workplace was a real thing. The emotional roller coaster I was on became too much for me to handle. I hit a wall and thought, “This is no way to live!”

Think of imagination as a tool for fulfilling our dreams, our life’s call, and making a positive difference in this world.

I am an actor and film producer. I create movies for a living, which involves creating the characters in them. Bringing a film to life takes sitting down, writing a script, and then implementing the creative plan with a team of people. This intense process involves my team and I constantly using our imagination and envisioning power to produce the best possible outcome. Many times, inspiration and solutions are seen in our imagination.

I then experienced a crossroads moment one day when I was feeling so distraught. My inner voice unexpectedly asked me, “What do you want?”

This question stunned me initially. I responded with, “I want to make a movie, my wife’s screenplay.”

This took me off guard because such an idea was NOT on my radar at the time. My wife was also an actress and had just completed a screenplay about her experience on a reality TV show singing competition. It was a comedy about what it was really like to be on one of those shows. It was also an inspirational story of perseverance, having hope, and dreaming big—even though sometimes dreams can turn out differently from what we originally imagined. I didn’t even know this was something I wanted to do.

In this one moment, my love for making movies suddenly found an expression. I somehow had confidence and an inner knowing that this movie would indeed be made!

I would go on to produce American Reject with singer, songwriter, and actor Billy Ray Cyrus, actress and singer Annaleigh Ashford, and many more team members. Miraculously, sound stages were gifted to us for free, and the cast and crew came together!

This adventure of witnessing what was in my imagination becoming reality blew my mind. And it all started with my inner voice asking me what I wanted to do.

You have this very ability to reflect upon the hopes and dreams within your heart and see what rises.

Ask yourself, “What if….?”

Envision possibilities. I believe creative thoughts will begin to burst forth like a geyser as you allow your imagination to explore possibilities freely. Write the vision down, and take visual pictures using your imagination. I believe you’re about to create and connect a world of possibilities inside of you for everyone to see and be helped, encouraged, and inspired!

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ADVENTURING IN CREATIVITY.

by Theresa Dedmond

“In some situations, it takes grit and effort to stand firm to be different, and stand up against what everyone else seems to be doing.”

All of us were created for adventure. That’s why so many love action-packed movies about the underdog becoming the hero. We were made for crazy fun “adventuring,” whether watching our favorite movie series, playing our favorite sports, discovering new areas of our passion, or exploring thrilling places where we can get an adrenalin rush. Adventuring can look different for each person.

As boys and young men, you were created to test your

limits in positive ways and go on quests to discover more of who you are and your unique design.

In fact, one of the greatest adventures we will ever go on will be finding out why we’re alive and who we are meant to be. Your passions and dreams can point to your purpose.

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Let me tell you a little about my story and how I discovered who I was destined to be.

Small children saw their parents die and then were left for 100 days to seek shelter and hide from the Hutu tribe. Years later, in 2010, those young children who had experienced the trauma of genocide had grown to be teens and young adults. I was asked to bring emotional healing to those teens and young adults through compassion and creativity. I led a team of 30 people from America to serve. This life-changing experience brought so much transformation to lives, leading me to create an online healing course, Create to Be Free.

When I was around three years old, I watched my Mom paint and create beautiful art in all kinds of ways.

Every part of my house held a treasure she’d sculpted, painted, and designed. She bought me my first art book, oil pastels, and watercolors, which ignited my love for creating art.

I also loved music, acting, and creative writing. I started playing the piano when I was around 12 and then began singing in bands around age 14. Then, through the influence of one of my high school teachers, I submitted my poems to a national poetry contest and won third and fourth place nationally, which blew me away!

I didn’t know it, but my experiences throughout my life had prepared me to help people find their creative destinies and heal from fear and trauma. This is my purpose in life.

So—what about you?

I continued to create throughout my life to the present day, leading me to influence numerous people of all ages to find freedom and passion through what they create. The creative arts is my passion and my way of communicating.

What is it?

Find your creative voice and passion. You can discover deep insights by investing time in creating, playing, and dreaming.

You may be in that discovery phase, where you feel passionate about a certain subject, creative expression, sport, or vocation in life. Pursue growing skills and knowledge in those areas that excite you. Seek opportunities to explore those passions.

Here are some steps you can take to find out who you are and start adventuring with freedom.

It often takes courage, perseverance, and patience to follow your passions and find your creative expression.

In some situations, it takes grit and effort to stand firm, be different, and stand up against what everyone else seems to be doing. I firmly believe you were born to accomplish something significant and meaningful.

You have dreams within you that are meant to make the world a better place.

Ask yourself these questions and then start to adventure forward in life: 1. What do you love to do, and what makes you come alive?

2. What have you done since you were young (like me with art) that helps you process your feelings and heart?

3. What wrong do you want to make right?

4. How do you like to help people?

5. What friends can support you and believe in you?

Going to Rwanda Can creativity promote healing in people’s lives?

I hope this helps you to discover your identity and that one day we can meet and I can see your story intersect with mine—until then—remember…YOU WERE BORN TO CREATE!

Your passion may lead you on crazy adventures like what happened to me in Rwanda. In 1994, there was a massive genocide where two tribes who had lived peacefully next to one another began to hate one another. The Hutu Tribe massacred the Tutsi tribe, killing almost one million people. It was a heartbreaking situation.

Theresa Dedmon www.theresadedmon.com

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“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.”

Edward De Bono

CONQUER THOSE CREATIVITY KILLERS!

by Michele Okimura

There are obstacles that can put a limit on or downright stop our creative flow.

We can become more aware of creativity killers and overcome them by changing our perspectives. Be open to looking at your beliefs or character issues that are stunting your free flow!

Let’s take a look at the Dirty Dozen creativity killers.

Check off the ones you struggle with the most and focus on overcoming those hurdles.

THE DIRTY DOZEN o LIES AND LABELS: Specifically surrender any beliefs you have that say you are not creative or intelligent! Believe that you are a creative genius in your own unique way!

o RULES to ‘color in the lines’: University professors, even at the most elite Ivy League schools, encourage their architect students to forget the rules to ‘color in the lines’ that they learned in childhood!

By freeing their imagination, they are then able to envision the most amazing buildings that can be considered works of art! Set your imagination free—it’s like a muscle that needs to be exercised.

See what is possible! May your childlike wonder and curiosity rise once again!

from chronic anxiety. Do activities that can help decrease your anxiety, such as deep breathing, exercise, and meditating on positive quotes.

o FEAR of being judged and rejected: Being afraid of being judged or rejected will freeze up your creative flow. Despite the fact that some may judge you or dislike your work, take steps of faith and explore! It is worth the risk to discover more of your creative design. Taking baby steps out of your comfort zone may lead to open doors and you’ll grow your capacity to create!

o NEGATIVITY: Stewing in negative thinking can hinder your creativity due to the swirl of dark thoughts filling your mind. If you struggle with disappointment or feel disillusioned towards a situation or person, pursue getting help.

Practice gratitude.

o FEAR of failure: Creating anything puts yourself in a vulnerable position to fail. With each experience, you will grow and learn things as you keep your heart teachable. Making a mistake does not make you a mistake! Remember that Thomas Edison had numerous failures before he finally invented the light bulb that changed the world! o ANXIETY, STRESS: Creativity can flow more freely when you have a clear mind, peace in your heart, a positive outlook, and an expectation that inspiration will come. Seek help if you suffer

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o DEPRESSION: Seek help if you find yourself depressed and in a tailspin of sadness and lethargy. Focus on being grateful and celebrate what blessings you do have. Be in a community with other people who will walk with you to victory.

o PEOPLE PLEASING: You cannot please everyone. Yes, it can be helpful to consider feedback from others but do not let your motivation be to please others. o PERFECTIONISM: Valuing excellence in whatever we do is a good thing.

Yet, the stress and drive to be perfect are unhealthy and damaging to overall health. Silence that harsh task master’s voice inside of you! o PRIDE: Humility will keep you teachable and ever-growing. It requires a humble heart to consider input and equipping from others. Humility will also aid you when you need to collaborate with others on any creative project. Other

people’s ideas may spark even more creative directions and ideas in you. o LACK OF TIME: Ever find yourself too busy or exhausted from constant activities? Do you tend to procrastinate? Do you have difficulty managing your time, so you are not productive when you should be? How many hours do you spend on social media? Are you addicted to your phone? Creating and innovating takes time. Some helpful tips to overcome this hurdle are:

▶ Write down some goals. ▶ Set priorities: what are the most important tasks today or this week? ▶ Write a to-do list to follow. ▶ Find a time and place with no distractions for creating.

Creating can fuel your soul and inspire others! o MENTAL BLOCK: Sometimes, we can get so familiar with looking at things and situations in the same way.

Sometimes, you need to challenge yourself to think of new options and to ask yourself the question, “What if...?” Think out of the box. Do something new or learn something new to stretch your mind. Remember, inspiration often comes to us when doing non-linear things like walking the dog, washing dishes, or taking a walk!

Sometimes, we just need a mind break from overanalyzing to get creative.

color outside the lines “Gutenberg connected the coin punch with the wine press to create the printing press. Mendel connected math with biology to create genetics. Fred Smith connected the hub and spoke idea of the wagon wheel to the U.S. Postal Service and created Federal Express. The roll-on deodorant was modeled after the ballpoint pen. Drive-in movies inspired drive-in banks. The common cocklebur inspired the design for the billion-dollar Velcro industry. You have the power to connect—use it!

Roger von Oech

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Getting in touch with your creative identity may involve looking back to your childhood when you were probably the freest to express yourself when you didn’t care if you were being silly, you enjoyed play, and often used your imagination.

Be a Courageous Creative!

The world needs you!

WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO DO? • • • •

Crack jokes to make people laugh?

Solve a math problem?

Develop a new recipe?

Strategize to score points for your sports team?

• Write a poem?

• • • • •

Create a thought-provoking post?

Act in a play?

Produce a film?

Draw or dance?

Capture a moment with your camera?

• • • •

Sing or play an instrument?

Do science experiments?

Organize a mess?

Create an offensive strategy in a sport?

EXPLORING YOUR CREATIVE MIND Let’s explore. Maybe you will discover something about yourself you can appreciate. How did you use your imagination and creativity as a child? What activities did you enjoy doing in your playtime? What toys did you play with? List down the ways you expressed your creative mind:

Presently, what activities do you gravitate towards doing? What do you enjoy doing?

Check off and briefly describe activities that you connect with: o Visual Arts: o Crafting: o Designing: o Performing Arts: o Music: o Writing:

o Media: o Producing: o Organizing: o Communication: o Problem Solving: o Science:

o Health: o Math: o Technology: o Culinary: o Sports: o Other:

“Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up.” – Picasso

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Journal What stood out to you in this chapter regarding your beliefs about the power of creativity in your life?

What new insights have you gained? In what areas would you like to grow in your unique creative expression?

I am

Mindful Lettering: Trace the lettering. It does not have to be perfect. You may rewrite the phrase a number of times on the page. Enjoy the process of mindful lettering.

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Chapter 5: Born to Create ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

• The Power of Creativity • Imagination.

• Adventuring In Creativity.

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Explore the arts! Whether you are actively involved in the arts or not, we are all created to appreciate artistic expressions such as an eye-catching painting or photo, a good movie, a compelling song or dance, or the artistry found in nature! Get inspired by exposing yourself to something creatively artistic and glean meaning and insights from art. Here are some ideas: • Attend a live music or dance performance (or watch a video) • Go to see a live play • Visit your local art museum • Watch a good movie • Visit an aquarium or zoo

2.

Creativity expresses itself in unlimited ways —through math, humor, business ideas, fixing things, solving problems, and the list goes on. Note that there are firemen who landscape and engineers who enjoy filmmaking. Explore opportunities around you to develop your favorite creative expression by taking a class, doing a project, acting on a business idea, or starting a blog or YouTube channel.

3.

Andrew Ng, a British-American computer scientist and technology entrepreneur who impacted so many with his work on AI, said this: “In my own life, I found that whenever I wasn’t sure what to do next, I would go and learn a lot, read a lot, talk to experts. I don’t know how the human brain works but it’s almost magical: when you read enough or talk to enough experts, when you have enough inputs, new ideas start appearing.”

Interview someone you know who you consider a creative expert. Remember, a person can be creative in many ways beyond the arts. Ask the person to share their insights on how to give creative thinking a boost. When do creative ideas usually come to them?

What works for them may not work for you, but you can still gain knowledge and wisdom that can spur your creativity.

4.

Take time out to relax your mind for at least 10-15 minutes daily for one week. Unplug from technology.

Your next innovative or creative idea may come when you are watching a sunset, sitting at the bus stop, or taking a walk. Notice if these breaks from busyness help your creative flow.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

Text 494949 to chat now | FREE Mental Health Chat Center | 24/7 for those over 13 years old.

1-888-373-7888 | Toll-Free Hotline | 24/7 83 | Confidential | Get Help. Report Trafficking.

“A dream gives us hope for the future, and it also brings us power in the present. It makes it possible for us to prioritize everything we do.”

John Maxwell

Chapter 06

Freedom to Dream

You have a profound purpose, and your dreams can point to that purpose. Dreaming BIG for your future is important because your dreams can impact the entire direction of your life. Dreams can have the potential to bring positive transformation to this world and extraordinary solutions to problems, making the

Dreaming doesn’t initially cost us anything, but it’s when we take action steps towards them that they truly come alive. Dreaming can open up a world of possibilities, empowering us to turn our dreams into reality.

world a better place.

In this next chapter, you will gain valuable keys to discover and unlock your dreams. Let us go on a treasure hunt to discover the hopes and dreams inside of you!

Even if we don’t accomplish all of our dreams in the ways we anticipate, dreams add value and meaning to our lives. They set our vision on something bigger than ourselves in the face of life’s challenges.

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“There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling.

It’s why you were born. And how you become most truly alive.”

“When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid.”

Oprah Winfrey

Audre Lorde

“Dream big, dare greatly, and shine brightly.”

Robin Sieger

What am I here for?

The world is waiting for you to be who you were designed to be and do what makes you...fully alive!

Take courage...IMAGINE...Impact others!

Speak your dream OUT LOUD.

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Envision. Take Action.

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“Dream big, dare greatly, and shine brightly.”

ROBIN SIEGER

DREAMERS ARE WELCOME HERE!

by Michele Okimura

Are you up for a journey to unlock the dreams inside you and let your passion and brilliance shine even brighter?

Perhaps there is an untamed, fearless, wild dreamer within you waiting to arise and be unleashed!

were designed to dream because we have the ability to envision and imagine.

Why dream? You are a human treasure box with hidden riches inside.

What is a dream?

It is a picture of the future that you want to live in someday. It involves our aspirations and hopes. We can have all kinds of dreams—even fun ones!

What things are slumbering inside of you that need to be awakened? Dreaming can be like pulling to the surface some of the most unique and greatest parts of who you are.

Why dream? Because YOU WERE DESIGNED TO DREAM!

Why dream? Your dreams can point to your purpose

Imagine a blank white canvas in front of you. What would you do if someone told you, “Go ahead and paint!

I am excited to see what you come up with!” I wonder what would appear on the canvas of your imagination.

Sometimes, our dreams are forgotten...but they can later be brought back to life. I believe we human beings

What moves your heart deeply will most probably be part of your life’s mission and calling. Have you ever done an activity, and after you were done, you had the feeling, “I was born to do this!” If you haven’t yet, you are on a journey to discover what it is! It is a profound

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thing to see people joy-filled and fully alive as they do what they were made for.

often comes through serving the needs of others. Pursuing dreams requires sacrifice, perseverance, pushing through trials, picking yourself up when you fail, and overcoming negative judgments other people may make about you and your idea. It also means we must be willing to take action to make the dream come to pass!

Why dream? Your dreams could change the world.

What if you were purposed to be a part of something that is meaningful and bigger than yourself? All great world changers and history makers started with having a dream. And so can you. Your dreams may have the potential to impact the world and the lives around you in a big way.

Dreams may not turn out as expected.

Dreams may not always turn out as expected. For example, a person dreamed of owning their own business, but once they had a business, they experienced unexpected challenges! But we grow through those surprises. Even if we do achieve our dreams, we still need to continue forward with new dreams and visions for the future.

Picture the possibilities that can lie within a dream. An entire nation was changed under one man’s dream to be president. That man was Abraham Lincoln. Every invention in the world was dreamed up by its inventor.

Discovering your dreams Creating a dream culture How do you discover your dreams? It is a process, a journey of discovery that you need to choose to begin.

Your present abilities will probably not take you to the finish line. With that in mind, know that the phases of life you go through can all help to prepare you to pursue your dreams.

How would it feel to not only have someone believe in you and your dreams but also have others work alongside you to help those dreams come true? Such a culture would be amazing! Let’s cultivate that kind of culture where we are.

Dreaming involves risk… it costs something.

Dreaming involves risk... it costs something. There is also a sobering side to dreaming. REMEMBER— greatness

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, “Why not?” George Bernard Shaw

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Going on a Treasure Hunt There are treasures within you. It takes time to learn which dreams are part of your purpose and calling in life and which dreams may be just a hope for this season. There may be dreams hidden in your heart waiting to be discovered!

It can be helpful to do the following activities on your pathway to discovery.

ACTIVATION 1: What is a personal dream you have for yourself? (for example being a great friend, be physically fit etc.)

What is a dream you have for your family?

What is a dream you have for the people in your community?

ACTIVATION 2: Your destiny and purposes may even be found in some of your dreams! Brainstorm some dreams in these following categories for starters to activate your dreaming: List 3 things you would like to have:

List 3 of your FUN DREAMS (for example I would like to bungee jump someday...dream big!):

List 3 places in the world you would like to visit someday:

What is a skill you would love to master? (for example, cooking, volleyball, playing an instrument, or fixing a car)

What is an EMOTIONAL DREAM you have? (for example, overcoming a particular fear or forgiving a person who really hurt you)

“Most of the things worth doing in the world were said to be impossible before they were done.”

Louis D. Brandeis

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ACTIVIT Y

ACTIVATION 3: THE CONCERNS OF YOUR HEART The special concerns you have for society may also give you a clue to discovering your passions and dreams.

If you had the power and resources needed to solve 2 problems in your community or world, what would those problems be?

ACTIVATION 4: WHO INSPIRES YOU Sometimes we see something in someone else that inspires us. Who Inspires you, past or present?

Why are you inspired by this person? What qualities do you admire about him or her?

ACTIVATION 5: MORE!

SHINE MORE. CARE MORE. GIVE MORE. MORE JOY. If you had all the finances and resources needed, what is one thing you would want to do to practice radical generosity and help others?

“

I AM NOT A HAS-BEEN. I’M A WILL-BE. Lauren Bacall

“While some may see them as crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do”. – “Think Different” (Apple Computer Ad) “Thousands of perceptions, hunches, ideas, and intuitions race through our brains every day. Some are pure genius. Give them the red light for at least long enough to write them down.” - Ralph Ford

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FREEDOM TO DREAM.

by Nancy Vuu

Nancy Vuu is a Dreamer. Because she dreams, profound creativity is expressed through her luxury fashion brand. Nancy Vuu Inc. couture designs continue to grace red-carpet events such as the Grammys, American Music Awards, films, and red-carpet events.

In addition, her designs have been featured in Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and Elle magazines around the globe.

Many years ago, there lived a very poor and critically ill refugee child who was destined to die. The world said she was not worthy, but by a series of unexpected miracles, she survived, moved to America, and later became a special ambassador in the world of fashion. Through her platform, she was able to speak to incredible people, such as young men like yourself, CEOs, celebrities, dignitaries, royalty, and even professional athletes in the NBA and NFL. This person was me.

It all began when I dreamt of becoming a fashion designer when I was a young child. As I grew up, I began to question if I was good enough because I would hear others tell me my dream was too hard or that it would never happen. I began to believe in these lies, and soon after, I dismissed my dream and eventually completely forgot the dream ever existed.

Then, one day, everything changed. I was reminded of my childhood dream while attending a conference, where I had an unexpected and profound spiritual experience.

In an external vision before my eyes, I suddenly saw vulnerable children from all over the world in difficult circumstances, and my heart broke. I felt like I was carrying the weight of

the world. At this moment, I heard an audible voice tell me, “Start designing and tell these children that no matter their circumstances, they are loved and of true royalty.”

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royal families. I immediately rejected the vision at first. I disqualified myself. I said, “NO. That will never happen. I’m not even a real fashion designer, and I don’t even know how to sew!”

But in that moment, that same voice that I heard the day at the conference spoke again to me, saying, “No! You are a designer, I made you to be a designer, now MOVE in your role.”

Immediately when I heard those words, it was as if a blanket of truth and identity fell on me. I knew my calling in fulfilling this amazing dream. I finally believed that I was meant to be a fashion designer, and knowing this has enabled me to walk out my purpose and destiny with confidence, boldness, and perseverance.

How often have we let our friends, family, or the world rob us of this truth? Or even worse, how many times have we disqualified ourselves?

We must learn to silence the lies that say we are not good enough. Instead, we must believe that we have immense worth and something profound and brilliant to give to this world.

I want to encourage you to share your dreams with your parents or a trusted mentor and explore ways to pursue your dreams in an honorable way.

Do you know what you were made for?

At this point, I did not know how to sew or know anyone in the fashion industry, but I replied, “Wow! What a great idea!”

My heart said a big “yes” to the dream.

Your dreams guide you to your destiny and allow you to fulfill your passion and purposes.

Thus began a great adventure. I have since had the privilege of clothing children, men, and women, including celebrities and royal family members, in many nations worldwide. I have experienced many impossible situations become possible through faith and perseverance!

It’s not only our own gifts and talents that qualify us to do noteworthy work and exploits. Yes, we can use these things, too, but it is our love for others and our calling to a higher purpose that qualifies us.

I firmly believe we are created and fashioned for love, greatness, and victory!

I declare to you: “May you go forth in great strength and courage to pursue your dreams. May you walk in increasing FREEDOM to dream even BIGGER DREAMS and bravely protect your dreams!”

Love, Nancy Vuu

Note that although I had forgotten about my dream of becoming a fashion designer as a little girl, my dream came back to life years later!

I recall another time early in my journey I experienced another vision of being a world-renowned designer styling

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Journal What stood out to you in this chapter regarding dreaming big for your life?

mindful doodling 94

Chapter 6: Freedom to Dream ACTIVIT Y

Walk it out.

• Dreamers are welcome here.

• Freedom to Dream.

Choose one or more action steps:

1.

Become a bigger dreamer by learning about a famous person you admire. Research their backstory and learn about their life journey—the victories, the setbacks, and the hardships they pushed through.

• What insights have you gained from their story that inspire you to dream?

• How did their story capture the nature of taking risks?

• In what ways were they brave and bold?

2.

Watch a movie about a person who had a dream and pursued it. What insights did you gain from watching that movie?

There are new inspirational movies being released every year. Here are just a few suggestions to get you started: October Sky Soul Surfer The Pursuit of Happiness Rocky

3.

Find your ‘tribe’ of fellow dreamers to keep your dreams alive. Find at least one or two fellow dreamers to befriend.

Famous creative authors C.S. Lewis, who wrote The Chronicles of Narnia, and J.R.R. Tolkien, who wrote Lord of the Rings, were professors at Oxford together and formed a friendship for over 40 years. They were a source of constant encouragement to each other.

C.S. Lewis urged J.R.R. Tolkien to keep persevering to complete Lord of the Rings when Tolkein wanted to give up. The road to following our dreams is often full of setbacks, challenges, and sometimes criticism so we need a tribe of friends, other big dreamers, to connect with and walk with.

Start with regularly meeting with at least one other person who also wants to discover and pursue their dreams. Share your dreams with one another. Encourage and motivate each other by sharing updates and action plans. A goal can be to help keep each other’s dreams alive. Read inspirational books or watch movies together that impart wisdom and strength for the journey. Celebrate milestones together. Get creative so your times together are meaningful and helpful.

The struggle is real, and so is hope.

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