FAITH VERSION: VOL 2 by Explicit Movement

GROW IN CONFIDENCE. KNOW YOUR IDENTITY.

urney

FOR GIRLS OF FAITH

The leaves on the covers of our Brave & Beautiful Series represent the leaves from the tree of life that are for the healing of the nations. We pray this Brave & Beautiful Journey will bring healing and life to you as well as to the nations of the world.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL Copyright © 2022 Releasing Generations Published by Releasing Generations Printed in the United States of America All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. All articles, art, and photographs have been published and printed with the permission of their creators.

Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations from The Authorized (King James) Version. Rights in the Authorized Version in the United Kingdom are vested in the Crown. Reproduced by permission of the Crown’s patentee, Cambridge University Press. Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture taken from the Holy Scriptures, Tree of Life Version*. Copyright © 2014,2016 by the Tree of Life Bible Society. Used by permission of the Tree of Life Bible Society. Art Direction and Graphic Design: Ahava Design, LLC. Photos by Unsplash and Pixabay.

BRAVEANDBEAUTIFUL.WORLD Brave & Beautiful is a publication created by Explicit Movement, a Christian faith-based movement that heals and empowers youth and young adults to walk in sexual integrity and healthy relationships as they embrace their God-given identity and God's beautiful design for sex. We provide faith-based resources that equip youth, young adults, parents, and church leaders to have conversations concerning healthy dating and navigating sexuality issues with confidence, leading the way for young people to thrive in relationships.

CREDITS COVER Floral pattern: Maria Galybina. 3 Photography by Luminous: Emily Ganiko and Dreamstime. 24 Photography: AmericanReject.movie 55 CDC study description from: About the CDC - Kaiser ACE Study: cdc.gov/violenceprevention/aces/about. CDC quote on linking to brain development and chronic healthy problems: November, 2019, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACES) Preventing early trauma to improve adult healthy: cdc.gov/vitalsigns/aces/index.html. Descriptions of ACES from: ncjfcj.org/publications/finding-your-ace-score/.ncjfcj.org/wp-content/uploads/2006/10/FindingYour-Ace-Score.pdf. 78 By @nataliaandreichenko1384

WELCOME BACK TO

Brave & Beautiful — vol.2

REAL TRUTH. REAL LOVE.

••

Bave  Beauful Jurney

eR e l e ases ••

Sh eB

e li e ev

c o v

e r s •• She Accepts ••

i D ifu l •• S h e

eE •• x p re s s e s

••

Journey 01

a e B

B ra ve

Journey 02

SHE IS BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

SHE RELEASES

SHE DISCOVERS

SHE TRUSTS

30 SHE ACCEPTS

SHE CRIES

40 SHE BELIEVES

SHE BLOOMS

58 SHE EXPRESSES

SHE PERSEVERES

70 SHE CONNECTS

SHE PROTECTS

84 SHE RESTS

SHE SPARKLES

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

••

She s

cts •• She Re sts

nne

he Celeb •• She Sparkles •• S ra te

he s •• S

••

Pro

t e c ts

Journey 03

Journey 04 Listen

PORNOGRAPHY

20 SHE LOVES

SEXUAL ABUSE & TRAUMA

30 SHE GIVES

SEX TRAFFICKING

40 SHE DREAMS

VOICES OF FREEDOM

48 SHE CREATES

HOPE RISING

SHE CELEBRATES

r e a te

She Bloom •• s

ri s

eC ri

e m s •• S h

D re a

ves •• She Give o L e s • Sh • ••

She Lstens!

56 SHE ARISES 5

ve se

VOLUME 02 – PART 1

She She She

Releases Trusts Cries

how’s your heart? “You’re blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart— put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.” MATTHEW 5:8 MSG

ow is your soul doing? What is going on in your inner world?

We are so much deeper, wider, and multifaceted than what the eye can see. For some of us, fashion and make-up and pedicures can be a fun way to express our own unique style and flair! Yet, ponder how much time and money we invest on our improving what is on the inside. Caring how we appear to the world is not a ‘bad’ thing, but do we ever take a

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

look at what is on our inside and invest in our own soul health? Our soul is made up of our mind, will, emotions, thoughts, attitudes, our character, and even our moral makeup—in other words, our inner world. The purpose for these next three chapters, She Releases, She Trusts, and She Cries is to support you in navigating the negative emotions of anger, fear and sadness. These three common emotions are often ‘stuffed’ and handled in unhealthy ways that can affect us for

years to come—and even our physical health over time. The culture we live in and even our family culture often may not model or teach us how to handle our emotions in a healthy way. Entire books have been written on each of these subjects! We hope to plant seeds of truth in your mind and heart and share some helpful tips along your journey to becoming ever more emotionally and mentally healthy, strong, and thriving!

Your Emotional Health Matters!

Did you know that your ability to connect with God is directly impacted by your emotional health? If we are in the depths of depression, filled with steaming rage, feeling bitter with unforgiveness, or paralyzed by fear, our spiritual life will be impacted. We can try to comfort ourselves through ways such as eating, porn, shopping, social media, getting good grades, drinking, drugs, sex, gaming, and even work—to escape and distract ourselves for the moment. God cares so deeply about your health—body, mind, soul, and spirit—your entire being! IT'S OK TO GET HELP! If you feel you need additional support, for starters, you can go for counseling and/or to a reputable prayer ministry in addition to spending time with God and meditating on His Word.

ACTIVITY: Reflect on the following questions and rate yourself from 1 to 10 (1 being poor, 10 being excellent) on your emotional health in the areas of your mind, will, and emotions: MIND:

How has your thought life been about yourself, others, your circumstances?

Do you tend to have positive and hopeful thoughts or do you find yourself stewing in negative and cynical thoughts?

WILL:

How have you been managing the virtue of self-control?

Are you a pushover where you have little boundaries and can’t say no? Are you a control freak?

Have you been trusting God and seeking godly direction, or taking things into your own hands? Have you been making good and wise choices? EMOTIONS:

Do you find yourself on an emotional roller coaster? Are you stuffing your emotions?

Do you feel peaceful and content overall?

Are you even aware of your emotions and avoid ‘going there?’

NOTES

She Releases. Trusts. Cries. 8

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E RELEASES

“If we really want to love we must learn how to forgive.” JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 08

MOTHER THERESA

ACTIVITY

Doodle or draw something that makes you angry or draw your anger.

GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEELINGS.

Chart your feelings in a day to become more self-aware!

Hysterically happy! Cheerful Positive Peaceful Content Neutral Bored Little irritated grumpy Super annoyed Frustrated Depressed

8am

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

10am

12pm

2pm

4pm

6pm

8pm

10 pm

FORGIVENESS AND HEALING BY MICHELE OKIMURA

e ALL have experienced being hurt and offended! It is normal to go through intense feelings of anger, sadness, and pain when we are hurt by people or situations. Forgiveness is a vital component of our healing process and needful for keeping our hearts pure before God. Holding on to unforgiveness can torment us mentally and emotionally, stealing away our joy and peace. Over time, holding on to bitterness can also increase our risk of suffering from physical health issues. Forgiveness is for our benefit so we can be free from the chains of unforgiveness. Isn’t it so easy to get annoyed by others? Forgiveness typically can be given fairly easily and quickly for minor hurts or irritations. Minor hurts are like getting a pin prick on your finger—it irritates, but it is easier to let go of.

However, healing for deep hurts will usually take time and comes in steps. A betrayal, an abuse, or a humiliation are examples of traumatic hurts that can take root in our hearts. A deep hurt feels like a knife through your heart—it is wounding and very painful! Forgiving such hurts is a process that often involves getting help from a godly mentor or professional counselor—there is no shame in getting help and having others walk with you through your process of forgiveness! Like peeling an onion, sometimes our hurts find their roots in past experiences. God heals us layer by layer. Have patience for yourself in the process. Ask God for help to forgive. You may not ‘feel’ like forgiving, but forgiveness is a choice. And it can take time. God understands and is with you! God heals our hearts in a variety of creative ways, so your healing experience will not look exactly like someone else’s. Beloved, pursue your healing! God desires to heal your heart and make you whole through the pathway of forgiveness. Freedom awaits you!

“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

The following are three helpful, easy to remember steps to take when forgiving someone who has hurt you. You can go through this prayer below throughout the week as opportunities arise, making forgiveness a regular rhythm of your life! 1. Forgive the person (or yourself) in prayer. Imagine the person is in front of you. Speak forgiveness to the person as if he/she were right there. I have found this envisioning can help our hearts to release unforgiveness more genuinely. You can say something like this: “(name of person), I forgive you for (say specifically what they did that hurt you).” 2. Ask God to forgive you for holding unforgiveness toward the person who offended you, or yourself. You can say something like, “Lord, please forgive me for holding unforgiveness and bitterness towards (name of person) for (what they did).” 3. Bless that person in prayer. Pray blessings for the person that hurt you. Pray for them as the Lord leads you.

EPHESIANS 4:32 NLT

what forgiveness is not

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT MEAN: • We must deny our hurt or anger. • We have to work to change our feelings—God will help us if we ask Him to! • We must ‘forget’ the offense. • The offender was not wrong. • The offender is not accountable. • It is the same as excusing what happened. • You need to now trust the person.

LETTING GO Moments of pain from our past experiences can trigger and stir up lies, feelings of shame and beliefs that blur our

true identity. Part of the process of healing and being restored is releasing our pain to God and forgiving.

“He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love.” MARTIN LUTHER KING JR.

What memories from the past trigger angry feelings in you?

What do you wish you could tell the person you’re angry with about how you were hurt by them?

“When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.” Who or what do you need to forgive?

Start the process with the Lord...

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

NELSON MANDELA

ACTIVITY Write on the balloons all the things you want to let go of. Draw more balloons if you need to. Go to God in prayer and ask Him to take your burdens as you release them to Him. Feel free to color the balloons. For deeper hurts you may need to reach out to a trusted person in your life who can walk with you through the forgiveness process.

letting go:

“Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.” HEBREWS 12:15 NLT

POISON OR PEACE BY TISHA LEHFELDT

omeone says or does something that hurts us. Ouch!

Now we have a choice. Do we forgive or withhold forgiveness? The truth is, forgiveness frees us. Unforgiveness snares us to do the will of the enemy. I heard this saying once, “Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.” Wow. This is truth. Here’s another, “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” For me, I know that forgiveness is the better way to live. I expect myself to honor God and His ways even when it hurts. I often say to myself, “Tisha, how high of a price are you willing to pay to do life the enemy’s way? Do I stay angry, bent up, judgmental, bitter, and indifferent? Whatever we

sow, we reap. I have a passion to see the fruit of God growing in my life. Galatians Chapter 5:22-23, NIV talks about the fruit of the Holy Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things, there is no law.” The question is, do you want the fruit of God growing in your life or the fruit of darkness growing in your life? I want more love and less hate growing in my life. I challenge myself to cling to God’s Word and work hard to forgive people even forgiving myself. This morning during my hang time with Jesus, I heard the Father say, “Tisha, are you going to forgive yourself?” I didn’t realize I was holding anger in my heart against myself for things that I did in the past. God forgave me, however, I could not forgive myself! I realized we could be like Judas or Peter. In Matthew 27, Judas regrets betraying Jesus. Then Judas ran to the tree and hung himself. Peter regretted denying Jesus. However, in John 21, we see Peter jumping out of the boat and swimming to get to Jesus. We may not end our lives as Judas did, but we can die spiritually. If we don’t forgive, we disqualify ourselves from the race God has set before us to live out.

Let’s be like Peter. Let’s run hard after Jesus and allow His words to restore and reinstate us (read passage in John 21:15-17). Jesus: “Do you love me?” Peter: “Yes Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus: “Take care of my sheep.” If we choose to do life God’s way, we reap love, joy, peace and so much more!

Here are some questions to ask yourself: • Why is it hard to forgive others?

• Do I have a hard time forgiving myself?

• Do I want a life filled

with poison or peace?

I hope you choose peace. If you do, the following is a scripted prayer

to help you get your heart back to

peace with yourself and with Jesus.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” EPHESIANS 4:31-32 NIV

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

A PRAYER FOR

forgiveness and releasing negative judgments. The prayer below is a great tool to help you along your healing journey. Before praying this prayer, take a few minutes to make a list of the negative words you would use to describe the person who offended you:

Although these words may ring true, these judgments prevent you from seeing this person through God’s eyes of grace. The following prayer will help you to forgive and release your negative judgments to the Lord. Don’t rush. Take your time as you pray. Know that God is near you, with you, and is your Helper!

“Heavenly Father, I forgive (name of person who offended you) for (say what he/she did or said that hurt you.)” “Please forgive me for holding anger, hatred and bitterness towards (name of person). Forgive me for having an unloving attitude, for holding onto unforgiveness, and for anything I said or did that was not right. Deep down, I have been really hurt. I give all the pain in my heart to you. “Heavenly Father, please forgive me for any devaluing labels I put on (name of person).” (Repeat the prayer sentence below, once for each of the negative words you wrote in the blanks above until you covered each word. For example, if one of the words you listed was ‘rude’ describing someone named Ann, you would say,” Lord, please forgive me for judging Ann as rude.” Go through each judgment word one by one in prayer.) “Lord, please forgive me for judging (name of person) as (a judgment word from above).” (Continue on below after you covered each judgment you wrote.) “Lord, the truth is, he/she is someone you love. Help me to now see this person as you see him/her.” (Take a minute to ask God how He sees this person. He may whisper into your mind some words that evoke compassion and mercy in your heart, positive words, or a positive picture that symbolizes their value. If nothing comes to mind, ask the Lord to show you how He sees him/her in the days to come.)

“Father, I recognize that I have come to some destructive conclusions regarding the way he/she thinks and feels about me that may or may not be true. Forgive me for allowing these unspoken messages to become my truth. I surrender these conclusions to you and trust you as my Defender and Healer. I choose to no longer dwell on such conclusions!” “Lord, forgive me for judging and labeling myself with devaluing labels. I renounce the lie that I am (say any negative labels you may have put on yourself). I break these false beliefs now in the name of Jesus.” “Father, I ask that your perfect love fill me, heal me, and cleanse my heart.” (Pause and receive His love and healing.) “Father, I receive Your forgiveness for all that I have confessed to You today. I declare that I am forgiven!” “Right now I bless (name of the person who you forgave). I pray that you would comfort and draw near to him/her—that they would know you and be transformed by your love. Pour your peace and favor into his/her life. May your perfect will be done in this relationship. Give me your heart of love and compassion towards this person. Please continue to guide me in your ways of love, wisdom, and forgiveness.”

power clean your heart! The enemy of our souls loves to trap us, torment us and pile loads of accusations upon us...in the darkness. Our hearts can have closets that we hide and stuff things in that we don't want to deal with. But in those hidden places, they fester. There is an answer that can help! Confess!

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray

for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

ACTIVITY Confessing your mess ups, struggles, and sins takes courage and risk, but oh! The healing and freedom that it can bring! What can help as a baby step toward confessing to a person, is to journal your thoughts—like a confession to yourself and to God. You could even use your journal entry for a reference when you decide to confide in someone.

Journal your reflections here

JAMES 5:16 NIV

Do you know any righteous people? A righteous person is basically a person who has excellent godly character, is loving and trustworthy. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to the right person to confess your failures and struggles to. Yes, it can be scary because you don't want to be judged, but confession helps to bring victory and freedom from shame and ushers in God's healing light!

Count yourself lucky, how happy you must be—you get a fresh start, your slate’s wiped clean. Count yourself lucky—God holds nothing against you and you’re holding nothing back from him. When I kept it all inside, my bones turned to powder, my words became daylong groans. The pressure never let up; all the juices of my life dried up. Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll come clean about my failures to God.” Suddenly the pressure was gone—my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. PSALM 32:1-5 MSG

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL

FORGIVe YOUR SELF

"O Lord, you are so good, so ready to forgive, so full of unfailing love for all who ask for your help." PSALM 86:5 NLT

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus," ROMANS 8:1 NIV

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

On a scale of 1 to 10, how much are you a perfectionist? On a scale of 1 to 10, how much grace and forgiveness do you give yourself when you mess up?

Sometimes we have done things that we are ashamed of and still carry pain about it. We know it is a sin to hold unforgiveness towards others, but did you know God also does NOT want you to hold unforgiveness towards yourself? Sometimes forgiving yourself is more difficult than forgiving someone else.

ACTIVITY Go into your bedroom or bathroom where there is a mirror you can look into. Have a private moment with you and God. Look deeply into your own eyes and say, “I forgive you.” Then, say, “Lord, please forgive me for holding unforgiveness towards myself.” This may be an easy task, or it can be an emotional task. Either way, you are ok. Spend a moment receiving God’s kind and gentle forgiveness and love. Just be. Just stand and be an object of His love and affection. He loves you and washes you clean as white as snow and calls you Forgiven.

“People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.” AUDREY HEPBURN

She Releases. Trusts. Cries. 20

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E TRUSTS

PSALM 56:3 NIV

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 09

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you”.

“Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am brave and worthy of love and belonging.” BRENÉ BROWN

UNRAVELING OUR MENTAL MESS! BY MICHELE OKIMURA

Ever feel a mental mess of anxiety overcome you? Entire books have been written on how to manage and overcome fear and anxiety, so we are just scratching the surface here! We can attempt to avoid feeling stressed by distracting ourselves through unhealthy means such as binge eating or going shopping to feel the thrill of buying stuff! Some of us may have even turned to drugs, sex, or porn to medicate stress. Such actions may give us a moment of relief and comfort but will not be helpful for us in the long run. There are some good things that can come out of feelings of anxiety. Anxiety can: • motivate us to accomplish our goals and creatively problem solve. • show us where we need to grow in trusting God. • give us clues to any unhealthy thinking patterns that need adjustments! • be a warning signal that we are in danger, moving us to take positive action.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

When you are feeling anxious, ask yourself, “Why am I feeling anxious?” Reflecting on why you are feeling stressed can help uncover the internal dialogue you are having—a dialogue that you may not even be aware of! What if what you are thinking is not true?

Our thoughts directly affect our emotions. Faulty, distorted thinking happens when we believe something to be true that is false or could very well be false. Faulty thinking causes a huge ball of mental mess! It can fill us with hopelessness, paralyze us with fear or guilt, and trap us in unnecessary pain! It is dangerous because it affects your relationships and limits your potential. All or nothing thinking:

‘All or nothing’ thinking exaggerates things to be much bigger than they are. Could you be assuming the worst-case scenario? Is your imagination going a bit wild? Are you thinking too black and white? Maybe you got a C on your report card so you feel like a failure. Or someone offended you, so you think they are a horrible person. This is extreme thinking.

If we use words like *always, *never, *all, *everybody in our statements, we are probably having a faulty thought. You take things personally:

Do you take offense at something a person said or did before you have all the information? Could you be jumping too quickly to a negative conclusion? Could you be interpreting the situation wrongly? Maybe someone didn’t return your text so you think he/she must be avoiding you. Perhaps they were sick in bed all day, or maybe they had to tend to an important situation. Maybe someone you know didn’t greet you as you passed by, so you now think they must dislike you. Perhaps they did not notice you because they were deep in thought or depressed. Believing the positive before assuming the worst can be helpful. And...stop mind reading. Don’t assume you know someone’s intention without checking with them! Communication is so fragile in that we can so easily misinterpret something—and sometimes even hear something that was not said! Checking

your understanding with the person can be enlightening and helpful!

to manage your stress and walk with you to victory!

Hopeless thinking:

Constant, intense, fearful, anxious thoughts have a toxic effect on our physical bodies. Chronic fear and anxiety weakens our immune system. Therefore, it becomes so very important to learn how to manage those emotions.

This line of thinking affects our outlook for the future. Hopeless thinking has a cynical and negative ring to it and can often include the word never and always. Examples of hopeless thinking are: • I’ll never be happy at this school. • My family will always be messed up. • I’ll never find a trustworthy friend. With God, we have so much hope for a positive future—nothing is impossible for your God who wants to bless you with good things!

Do you suffer from severe fear and anxiety? If you are experiencing fear and anxiety that is negatively affecting your daily functioning, seek professional help! Your reactions could be rooted in a traumatic experience that God wants to heal. It can be extremely helpful to have a professional counselor give you tools

If you suffer from any of the symptoms below, seek support from the resources in your community: • Difficulty concentrating. • Constant irritability or emotional outbursts. • Spending more time isolated and alone. • Physical problems such as headaches or a digestive issue. • Difficulty sleeping or often having nightmares. • Constantly feeling overwhelmed. • Panic attacks (rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing).

and heart health and wants to enable you to rest in His peace, trusting Him!

“ “

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” I PETER 5:7 NLT

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7 NIV

Life can be messy and working on our mental mess is an ongoing process! Know that God cares about your mind

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” JOHN 14:27 NIV

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!” ISAIAH 26:3 NLT

DON’T LET THE FEAR OF REJECTION STOP YOU! BY KATHLEEN MONTELEONE

ejection. Yikes. Just saying it hurts. I never thought rejection would become such a huge theme in my life. I’ve lived with it, written a movie about it, talked about it on podcasts, and now here I am well, writing about it again. I’ve always wanted to be a big Broadway Star. I mean, huge. Not a few shows here and there, not the chorus girl in the back, but the headliner who wears a boa as a normal daily fashion choice. I’ve loved singing, dancing and acting since I can remember, and I pursued all three through high school. By the time college came around, I knew I just had to go to New York City! I attended an arts college and got my degree in acting and musical theatre. So far, the dream was panning out perfectly.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Post college I found myself auditioning for a brand-new reality show. Yes, the “American Idol” type where you pin a number to your chest and sing your heart out for 8 seconds for the judges to either accept you or decline you. Well, I was accepted and at 23, I was on National Television. My dream continued along just as planned. I made it to the top four, then, uh oh. I was voted off. Wait, what? I was planning on winning! How could America vote me off? Didn’t people like me? I’ve given my all to this. What happened to the dream? The plan? The second I “got the boot,” it felt like my heart took a dagger and poisoned me with embarrassment, grief, and straight

up pain and confusion! I was just so, so sad. And I was so mad at God that He would take me this far and leave me feeling so crappy. It’s been 13 years since that moment of elimination, and rejection still hurts. But this is what I want to say about rejection; although it is disguised as the Big Bad Wolf, it can be one of our biggest helpers. It’s the friend who may have a prickly personality but can have your back. On the other side of rejection is a new path, a new idea, and a stronger and a happier you if you learn how to respond to it well. Rejection can tell you what to change, what to forgive, what to let go of, or what to hold onto. The mistake I made after my big elimination was that I let rejection

sit around me like a blob of jello that complained all the time. It took over my thoughts and started telling me who I was and what I was going to be. Until one day, I spoke to rejection and said “I can’t just let you take up my space. I need to put you to work.” So, I started writing. Something I had never done before, but I did have this really unique, funny and bizarre experience of being on a reality show. How many people can say that? I wrote out the funny, hard, painful moments, and the moments I wished would have happened. Thirteen years later, I wrote a movie called AMERICAN REJECT. I also produced it and starred it in! If someone would have told me on elimination night that God would use rejection to take me from being a sad actor to launching a writing and producing career while building my acting career, I wouldn’t have believed you for a second! I say all this because I would never have

stepped into these areas of creativity without rejection. People usually don’t step out and take risks because of the fear of failure and rejection. I get that. We want to protect ourselves. But I ask you: What do you have that you wish you could do that you haven’t done because of fear of rejection? Think of the thing you think you could be ridiculed for or possibly unfollowed on Instagram because of. Harsh. I know. Is it picking up a guitar? Sewing your own clothes? Sharing your poetry? Writing or performing a song? What is it? And if the mockery, fear and rejection were actually your helpers and the fuel to your engine, would you do it? After I had finished the movie, I was on a run around the park near our house, which is my time to pray. Right away, I felt the feeling of “it is finished.” I felt God show me the entire picture. He brought me back to the reality show. He showed me when I thought I was

on the show to win and begin my big Broadway career. Then He showed me that I was on the show and rejected so that I could make this movie. If I had not been rejected, none of this would have happened. It was all about this movie and everything God wanted to do through me and for me in making the movie. The reality show was just the beginning. I was blown away that all along, God had a plan that was so much bigger than what I could see then. The next time rejection sinks in and tries to talk to you, talk back! Say, “Hey, how are you here to help me? What have you got for me today?” Let God use rejection to teach you, help you, and to guide you. He really has a detailed plan for you that is beyond your wildest dreams. I hope you can find your past rejections today, look them in the eye, and with God’s help say, “Let’s get to work!”

Talk to your soul…

“Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.” PSALM 62:5 NIV

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.” BENJAMIN FRANKLIN

ACTIVITY What are the three biggest things that cause you anxiety?

What three things would you love to do if you weren’t afraid?

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.” PSALM 9:10 NLT Draw or describe someone you know who is often content and at peace.

What are some things you are very fearful of?

ACTION: Keep your eyes on Jesus.

She Releases. Trusts. Cries. 28

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E CRI ES

“You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have recorded each one in your book.” PSALM 56:8 NLT

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 10

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

Doodle something that makes you SAD.

Let Your Feelings Be Known.

GOOD GRIEF! BY SHERYL SARMENTO Professional Counselor

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I’ve had many losses in life. My parents divorced when I was an infant, and I went from house to house throughout my childhood. I changed schools, neighborhoods, and houses more times than I could ever count. With every change, there were multiple losses. I did not know what to do with my feelings, so I numbed them through drugs, alcohol, and other forms of escape.

As a teenager, I finally met Jesus. He saved me from my life of destruction. First I asked Him to come into my heart and take over my life. He eventually showed me how to deal with my sadness and grief. He also showed me that many of His people did not know how to grieve and did not understand that grief is good.

WE ALL HAVE LOSSES IN LIFE:

Have you experienced any of these losses? Check off the ones in your life.

o o

loss of a pet.

loss of someone you were close to through death or move in location.

loss of a relationship or friendship.

o o o

loss of hopes and dreams.

that are counterproductive, even if we have good intentions. What helps grieving people to heal is being a good

HERE ARE SOME OF THE WAYS THAT WE MIGHT TRY TO AVOID OUR GRIEF AND PAIN

loss of a parent through death or divorce.

loss of virginity. loss of popularity on social media and more.

All these losses cause sadness that affects us in one way or another. Did you know that Jesus also had loss upon loss and that he understands your losses in life? When a loss happens, it causes something called grief. Grief creates a deep sadness. That sadness has to go somewhere and often resides in our heart, our mind, and our body. God has created avenues for us to release our grief. Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those that weep.” It is easy to be happy and excited with people who have something to be happy about, but have you ever tried to cry with someone who is crying and to be sad with someone who is sad? That is exactly what we are supposed to do… weep with those that weep, cry with those who are sad and who need to cry. We naturally want to help a grieving person "fix their pain," but this can be more hurtful than helpful. Saying things like, "They are in a better place," or "Don't be sad," or "God wants us to be happy," or "Just pray” are all things

listener, allowing them to express their feelings, and letting sadness come out in ways that will help them heal.

• Taking drugs and alcohol. • Having sex before marriage. • Watching pornography. • Escaping into playing video games. • Cutting.

• Intense anger at the person for dying, and later feelings of guilt for being angry. • Mood changes over the slightest situations. • Unexpected outbursts of anger or crying.

• Overeating. • Addiction to social media. • Depression. • Isolating from others. • Suicidal thoughts. • Heaviness in the chest or tightness in the throat.

• Difficulty concentrating on a task at hand. • A feeling that the loss isn’t real and didn’t happen at all. • Sleeplessness or troubling dreams or sleeping too much.

• A need to retell and remember things about their loved one, to a point of repetition that becomes • Guilt over something said or done, or a burden to others. something left unsaid or undone. • An ‘empty feeling’ or loss of appetite.

HERE IS WHAT YOU CAN DO INSTEAD: 1. Pray and ask the Lord to help you recognize and acknowledge your loss or losses. Make time to grieve. 2. In biblical days, the Jewish culture had an average minimum grief period of 30 days. (Deuteronomy 34:8). In today's world, you can still carve out times where you can really focus on grieving. 3. Find a close friend who can acknowledge your grief, listen to you without trying to fix your pain, and just be with you through your grief journey. Ask for prayer. 4. Journal about your loss and how it makes you feel. Be honest and don't hold anything back. Grief often causes anger, especially if there was something unjust that happened to cause the grief. Writing your feelings and thoughts down can help release some of that pain to God. 5. If you like to express yourself creatively, draw or paint a picture, write a poem, write a song, do a craft, or create a dance to express yourself. The creative arts can help bring healing.

6. Look at pictures, make a collage, watch a movie or do something that reminds you of your loss and helps you to cry to get those feelings out. 7. Prepare yourself on birthdays, holidays, and whatever other days might bring back memories of your loss. Try to be with someone or do something that will help you get through that day. 8. You can ask for professional help and find a good Christian counselor who can help you walk through the journey to wholeness. Christian counselors have a calling from God to bring healing to people. 9. Every day take your sadness, loss, and grief to Jesus. He knows and understands exactly how you feel and wants to heal you. Listen to worship music that helps you with your grief and draws you closer to Jesus, the One who ultimately will heal you from the pain that caused your grief.

Sometimes, it is so good just to cry it all out. There is healing in crying tears.

DECLARATION TO RELEASE TEARS BY SHERYL SARMENTO

I declare that tears are good because God made them for our healing.

My tears are precious to you because you hold them

Tears are a gift from God and not to be suppressed.

Not one of my tears goes unnoticed by you, Lord.

Shedding tears is not a weakness and it will even make me stronger when I do release those tears.

Today I commit myself to the grief process that you

in a bottle, and you count every one of them.

have provided for me.

I have nothing to be ashamed of when I cry alone or in a crowd of people.

I ask that you release me fully into whatever else I

Men and women alike need to cry just like Jesus did.

be healed of the losses in my life.

need to do in addition to shedding tears, in order to

“

“You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.” PSALM 56:8 MSG

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

SADNESS. LONELINESS. HOPE. Navigating Loneliness BY ABI ARAKAWA

i beautiful ladies! My name is Abi. I am 28 years old and just this past month I went on my first date…ever. I’ve never been in a relationship or pursued by a godly man. And no, I’m not a nun, a monk, or a saint. I know, right? There are probably a ton of thoughts formulating in your head right now, trying to paint a picture of who I might be! Trust me, I’m not a super crazy person…at least I don’t think that I am!

couples on social media or the K-dramas and feel that longing to be pursued by someone in that same way. • Maybe you recently lost someone who was really close to you and you feel a deep emptiness now that they’re gone. • Most, if not all of us, have felt varying degrees of loneliness at some point in our life.

There’s a certain ache that I’ve experienced in my heart, a loneliness that I’ve endured from being single all these years. But I know that the loneliness of singleness is just one type of loneliness.

I used to think that my loneliness would be solved if only I had a boyfriend/husband who loved me unconditionally. While we may think that loneliness can be solved by a person, I believe there is something much deeper that God is trying to clue us in to.

• There is a loneliness that you may feel because you don’t have a lot of friends or maybe you don’t have any close friends who really get you.

Loneliness isn’t solved by a person— it’s fulfilled by His presence.

• Maybe you feel lonely at home because you feel like your parents do not understand what you’re going through.

I look back on the many years of my singleness, and I know that I would not trade what I’ve gained in my desperation for God, for the temporary comfort of a person.

• Maybe you look around at all the seemingly “perfect”

Some of the gifts that came out of my seasons of loneliness… 1

In my loneliness, I pressed into my relationship with God even more. I was desperate for God, He became my best friend as He was the one who would always be there for me, would never disappoint me, and who would always love me. I became shaped by the identity that GOD spoke over me. I had to choose to stand on what God said

about me, rather than my feelings, my circumstance, my relationship status, or the opinions of people. 3

I was able to invest well into lifelong friendships with other women. Something to think about, if you invest into close guy friendships, will you be able to keep that closeness once you have a significant other? Or will you

need to set up boundaries? When investing into friendships with the same gender, these are friendships that will be able to last even if you ever get into a relationship. 4

I was able to invest into myself and develop myself as an individual before needing to care for someone else or needing to be cared for by them.

My loneliness has actually been a gift because it’s caused me to hunger after God’s presence even more. Navigating loneliness is not easy, but it is worth it. It is precious. It is deepening. It builds a grit that doesn’t come from times of lavishness, safety or comfort. I continue to go through seasons of loneliness, but God never wastes those moments. He always does something deeper in me through it. A gift can only be good if it is received and opened. So, press into this gift that God is giving you.

Your season of loneliness may only be here for a limited time! So how can you press in and make the most of it? Here are some ideas if you need help getting started: 1.

Spend some time (could be a day or a few hours), alone with God. Turn off and get away from all distractions.

Ask Him about what His thoughts are about how you’re feeling and where He is in the midst of it. (Use different mediums to document what He’s speaking to you. It could be through art or journaling.)

Meditate on Psalm 63:1-8. Notice how David felt in the midst of the wilderness. How did he respond to God during this time?

Let’s have some fun and do some math to put this into perspective! (I will use myself as an example) 1. Appropriate age to start dating (eg. I believe around 18+ years) 2. Think of the ideal age you’d hope to get married by (eg. 27 years) 3. The number of years you hope to be married (eg. 50+ years) 4. Take the number from #2 and minus it from #1. (eg. 27 – 18 = 9) 5. Compare the totals from #3 and #4 (9 years of being single vs. 50+ years of being married)

4. Take note of when you feel loneliness and how you respond. We often will use coping mechanisms to help us deal with the pain of what we are feeling. However, our coping mechanisms do not help us grow. They often keep us immature and empty. 5. Make a plan to use this additional time productively! What are things that you want to do, grow in, invest into? What are the blessings of this season of loneliness that you may not have later? 6. Create a list of 3 things you could do to pursue relationships with people. Don’t wait for others to initiate, make steps for yourself. (eg. Grab a snack and hang out with someone you want to get closer to, plan a game night, call up a family member/friend, join church youth group activities, etc.)

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I feel so alone

“God sets the lonely in families...” PSALM 68:6 NIV

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.“ ROMANS 8:28 NIV

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. ••

she is Brave & Beautiful you!

She Releases. She Trusts. She Cries.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Doing a symbolic physical act can help us to release our tears, anger, unforgiveness, and pain to God. Try

one of these activities to release forgiveness towards

someone you are having difficulty forgiving: •

•

Name it! Name the fear you have.

•

Read aloud and memorize the verse you chose.

• Tell God about your fears and ask Him for help.

Go to a beach or lake and gather rocks along

• Activate your trust in God by taking a positive step

the shore. The rocks symbolize the pain and

to face your fear. Ask God for creative ideas to live

unforgiveness you are carrying. Throw the rocks one by one into the water as far as you can, releasing

your burdens to God. •

Write a short prayer of forgiveness on a

biodegradable helium filled balloon. Go outside and let the balloon go and watch it as it rises to heaven.

•

Write a letter (it will NOT be given to them) to

the person who hurt you and be raw and real in

expressing your anger and pain. End the letter

out trust in this area. 3.

If you realize you have not allowed yourself to grieve

over a loss in your life—take 10-15 minutes alone each day for a week to think about your loss. During the 15 minutes, you could:

• Journal your feelings and thoughts. •

shared. Allow yourself to cry.

by praying for them, choosing to forgive them or

express your desire to be free from unforgiveness.

Ask God to heal you as you rip the paper up into tiny

•

pieces and throw it into the trash.

2. The following activity can help us with the fears we struggle with:

•

If you lost a loved one, look over old photos or

old letters/emails, and recall fond memories you

•

Write a poem or goodbye letter to the person or pet you lost.

Listen to a song that touches your heart in a

good way. Let the tears flow.

Pick a favorite Bible verse addressing fear.

An example is:

“For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you…” ISAIAH 41:13-14 NIV

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

VOLUME 02 — PART 2 The Lord takes us on a life journey from being hidden to being seen and from seed to bloom. He celebrates every step you make towards maturing and growing into who

You will •

life so you can release the sweet fragrance of Christ

He has designed you to be in your fullness— He created

and add your gorgeous color to a sometimes black

you to blossom. What does it take for a flower seed to bloom? At first, a seed is hidden. Over time, a seed becomes buried in

and white world. •

sunlight above, and the moisture of the soil creates the

•

resistance—the weight of soil that surrounds it. It also must find a pathway through rubble and rocks that may block its way. That takes perseverance. The plant also has protective layers in its design as it grows. Then, over time, the plant blooms…just like how

learn ways to protect your heart so you grow healthy, strong, and tall.

environment for it to push forth outwards and upwards. However, as the plant pushes upward, it meets

gain strength for the journey—yes you will need it!

soil. Then the seed must burst open—but that is just the beginning! The plant then senses the heat from the

receive essentials for blooming in every season of

•

gain ways to celebrate your unique and beautiful sparkle.

You. A radiant, shining star. Sparkle! Glitter! Glow! Twinkle! Go light up this world!

—whether it be external trials that come your way or

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. For the creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed.”

whether you struggle with the turmoil of the rough

ROMANS 8:18-19 NIV

God desires us to bloom in full color in glorious display. Welcome to the next section of Brave and Beautiful where you will be encouraged to bloom right where you are planted and in every season of your life. As you bloom, you will encounter resistance to your growth

emotional seas of the heart.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

She She She She

Blooms Perseveres Protects Sparkles

“She will be like a tree planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season, And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever she does, she prospers.” PSALM 1:3 NASB, PARAPHRASED

She Bloom

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E B LOO MS

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 11

ms.

Blooming in Every Season of Life. Painting by Elisa Nakamura

Draw yourself as a flower.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

TRUST IN GOD'S TIMING

blooming in your season. H

ow would you describe the season you are in now?

Spring blossoms? Like the intense pinks and reds of tulips? Falling orange and yellow maple leaves—or a wintry breeze? Or is it like a warm summery day drinking lemonade? Let your imagination speak. Doodle what season you are in now. Reflect why you identify with that season.

SURRENDER YOUR SEASON!

Sometimes we think we know better than other people including our parents —and even God! When we don’t trust God and His timing, we often try to take things into our own hands to control the situation! But the truth is, God is in control and we are not—it's too heavy a burden to try to control circumstances or people. This will cause anxiety, fear, and stress in our lives.

When you surrender your lives, your circumstances, your emotions, your plans, and your season to God, you are now in position for God to fill you with His peace and comfort. It is OK if things take time.

“...a time to dance,” ECCLESIASTES 3:4 NIV

“…Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one! Look, the winter is past, and the rains are over and gone. The flowers are springing up, the season of singing birds has come, and the cooing of turtledoves fills the air. The fig trees are forming young fruit, and the fragrant grapevines are blossoming. Rise up, my darling! Come away with me, my fair one!” Arise my love, my beautiful companion…” SONG OF SOLOMON 2:10-13 NLT

ACTIVITY

In each box, write a word or phrase, description, or sketch with a short interpretation of what each season means to you. How would you define each season for yourself?

WINTER

SPRING

SUMMER

FALL

“EVERY NEW SEASON OF YOUR LIFE WILL BE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO LEARN AND GROW. DON'T CELEBRATE THE GOOD WITHOUT CELEBRATING THE BAD BECAUSE THEY BOTH WORK TOGETHER TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE NEXT SEASON OF YOUR LIFE.” THERESA LEWIS

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“IF MY BODY WERE A TREE TRUNK, THE RINGS WOULD SURELY REVEAL THE TIME THAT IT HAS HAD TO MATURE.” - ROBERT M. HENSEL

HE IS LORD OF THE RINGS BY MICHELE OKIMURA

rees are amazing historians. They are like timekeepers, recording time. The rings of a tree reveal not only the length of its life, but recounted through its patterns and intricate designs is the record of its journey through life. • Moments of painful injury. • Times of persevering through the fires. • The years when it drank up the overflow of refreshing rain from heaven. • The years when the tree endured the painful push and strain to survive during times of dryness and lack. Yet the unique designs of the tree rings display a kind of beauty divine when looked at altogether. The shape of the rings reminds us that the place which may seem like the sad ending may also be the beginning of something new and fresh.

It actually could be the start of the next big thing in your life that causes you to bloom further! Like a tree, we grow season by season, adding a new layer to our lives each year. As we keep connected to God through the seasons, we become stronger and can bloom in new ways. Like the tree, you were not meant to have rings that look the same, even and uninterrupted. Invite The Lord of the rings into your seasons. When you invite the Lord of the rings into your story... the One who orchestrates your life, who is in control, who is able to make all things new ,and creates beauty from ashes...then there is a glorious brave beauty that is unveiled in your rings, the chapters of your life!

REFLECTION ACTIVITY

What do the various seasons of life express to you?

Spring

often represents new life. Winter has melted away, there is new growth, flower buds, and green sprouts. What does the spring season mean to you?

Summer

days can mean the freedom of vacation time, summer berries, and days basking in the warm sun. What does the summer season mean to you?

Fall

leaves can represent change and transition—the old leaves fall away making way for winter—yet what a vibrant

show fall leaves display! What does the fall season mean to you?

Winter

time can mean different things—like a time of rest when many plants and animals hibernate. It could also mean the festivities and fellowship of the holidays, or a time of chilly loneliness for some. What does the winter season mean to you?

Journal and describe a spring season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a summer season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a fall season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

Journal and describe a winter season you once had, sharing what you learned and how you grew.

WISDOM FROM EVERY SEASON What do you consider your biggest mistakes in life so far?

What were some lessons you learned from them? Wisdoms gained?

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

essentials for blooming: Keep a water bottle with you whenever possible! Add zing! You can add flavor to your water with:

Here are some preparation tips that can help ready your brain for good night’s sleep:

• slices of any citrus fruits (or juices)

• Don’t look at online devices or watch T.V. 30-60 minutes before you go to sleep. Researchers have found that exposure to the blue light that radiates from devices stimulates the brain and makes you less sleepy. Read something enjoyable instead!

• slices of cucumber or mint leaves • berries

EAT. DRINK.

Hydration! All living things from the tiniest bacteria to the largest elephant need water to survive. Drinking fresh water is essential for self-care and a healthy body so that you can bloom! How much water should you drink? Many experts say at least 6-8 cups per day is minimum! Benefits of drinking water: • It can improve your brain function and mood (When dehydrated, you can experience brain fog and feel grouchy!) • It can help lower your sugar cravings. (Too much sugar can weaken your immune system making you more vulnerable to illness.) • It can help improve your physical performance and energy levels. • It can help minimize headaches. (Dehydration can cause headaches.) • It helps prevent bladder infections and constipation! • It can help you maintain your weight. Not to be TMI, but how do you know if you are drinking enough water? If your urine is a pale yellow, this is usually a good sign you are hydrated.

Ok...so you may like your sweets and fast foods… and maybe you really don’t like fresh vegetable salads and fruit. But eating clean and healthy has a direct effect on our emotional, mental, and physical health! Even though the experts have conflicting opinions on how much protein we should eat or whether we should be gluten free, we do know that cutting down on our sugar intake, eating less processed foods, and eating more fresh vegetables and fruits is healthy. We can train our palate to enjoy eating healthy! The less sweets we eat, the less we will crave it.

“It is not good to eat too much honey…” PROVERBS 25:27 NLT

• Aim to go to sleep and wake up at the same time to get into a rhythm. • Get out in the sunlight! Some researchers have found that people who got more of the morning sun tended to fall asleep faster and wake up less compared to those who got less morning sun. Consider taking a walk for 10-15 minutes in the early morning sun. • Don’t drink caffeine late in the day. • Refrain from taking a long nap during the day! • Improve your bedroom environment so it is comfortable and conducive for a good night’s sleep. Reduce the noise (get earplugs if you must). Your body was created to sleep in the dark so make your room as dark as possible.

SLEEP.

Are you a night owl? Getting enough sleep is vital for your health! Plants and animals alike take time to rest and well…sleep, so to speak. Even God rested. A good night’s sleep restores and refreshes your body. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has recommended that teenagers should sleep 8–10 hours per day! But it is not only the quantity of sleep, but the quality of sleep that is important as well.

“...he grants sleep to those he loves…” PSALM 127:2 NIV

“For everything there is a season,

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

a time for every activity under heaven.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to search and a time to quit searching.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to tear down and a time to build up.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time for war and a time for peace.” ECCLESIASTES 3:1-8 NLT

JOURNAL THIS It can be helpful to acknowledge the season you are in. Knowing your current season can bring understanding and a level of embracing this time, all the while seeking to know what God is doing. Remember that seasons change in time! Looking at this passage, what season do you think you are in? You can choose a phrase from the passage above or use your own words to describe the season you are in. Why did you describe your current season this way?

ONE DAY AT A TIME

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

flourish.

She Persev

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E PERSEVERES

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we

know that they help us develop

endurance. And endurance

develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.

And this hope will not lead to

disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he

has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our

veres. hearts with his love.” ROMANS 5:3-5 NLT

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 12

SHE WALKS ON WATER BY SILVIA HOFFMANBECK Sometimes we must persevere in keeping our eyes on Jesus and not on the storm around us.

alking on water…think about it. Is it even possible to defy the laws of nature to walk on water? Only two human beings were able to defy nature's laws by the power of faith: Peter and Jesus Christ. (Matthew 14:22-33) Let us talk about Peter for a minute. There was nothing extraordinary about Peter. He was stubborn, high-tempered, and impulsive like all of us can be at times. Yet, he was able to walk on water. The only thing that set him apart from others was that he dared to be different, did not settle for the status quo, and had a passion to be near to Jesus. Peter was daring, and I would say, extremely brave. He wanted to truly follow every step Jesus took, including those famous steps on water. I imagine Peter said to his friend, “Jesus, I want to walk on water with you!” Jesus answered, “Yes, Come!” I envision Jesus invited Peter to walk on water with Him as if it was the most natural thing to do! I am filled with admiration when I imagine how Peter took a deep breath and, with courage and faith, stepped out of the boat and walked on water towards Jesus.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

How would you feel if you were on that boat watching Peter get out of his comfort zone to walk in faith towards the Lord? I would have been gasping for air and covering my mouth, trying not to scream in shock! Peter was brave. He knew that as long as he was walking towards his friend Jesus, Jesus would not fail him, and he would be safe. However, Peter soon looked away from

Jesus and gazed upon the stormy sea. In that moment of doubt and distraction, he started sinking and screamed, “Lord, save me!” Like many of us would be, Peter got distracted by the frightening waves that surrounded him and feared he would be overpowered by them. Then, Jesus to the rescue! Jesus immediately grabbed Peter’s hand and asked, “Peter, why did you doubt?” We all walk through life like Peter. When we focus on the stormy waves of

Walking On Water. Painting by Silvia Hoffmanbek

confusion, problems of this world, and our challenges, we lose courage and sink into our discouragement, doubts, and fears. In those moments, Jesus reaches his hand towards us to lift us up once again. We just need to reach out and grab onto Him. With His compassionate love, He empowers us again. As long as we keep our eyes on Jesus, He will strengthen us to remain brave and persevere to continue walking on water with Him

above all the problems we experience in this world. Jesus is on our side. We are never alone.

us, we can start sinking. The only one who sees how truly brave, powerful, and beautiful we are, is Jesus Christ.

Peter could have listened to what his friends from the boat (or society) would have said to him: “Don't do it!” “You are not that brave,” “You do not have what it takes.”

When Peter kept his focus on Jesus, trusted Jesus, and followed his heart’s desire to go towards Jesus, Peter defied

If we look away from Jesus and allow what others say or think about us to take precedence over what Jesus sees in

nature's laws and walked on water! Don’t give up! Be brave. Trust Jesus…and walk on water!

don’t give up! 54

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

“But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying, “You are my God!” My future is in your hands. Rescue me from those who hunt me down relentlessly. Let your favor shine on your servant. In your unfailing love, rescue me.” PSALM 31:14-16 NLT

Sometimes life can seem unbearable. Our hearts can feel so weary from enduring torment, suffering, pain, rejection, or loneliness—and we want to give up. Maybe you have thought suicide was the only means of relief from the pain. Explicit Movement once had a youth event for churches on the island of Oahu. Youth from many churches attended. In our break-out workshop for just girls, about 150 girls filled the room. We had an activity where we discovered over 80% of the girls had struggled or currently struggled with suicidal thoughts. It was a significant healing moment for many when they realized they were not the only ones struggling. You are NOT alone.

Cry out and vent to God! Here are some scriptures that may comfort you knowing even famous King David in the Bible felt so depressed and hopeless at times—BUT He turned to God and was real before Him with his thoughts and feelings. Through seemingly unbearable pain, David continued to trust and hope in God and God was faithful. Draw life, strength and hope from His Word today if you are struggling! God is speaking to you.

God gives you strength to CHOOSE LIFE! “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.” DEUTERONOMY 30:19-20 NLT

“I cried out, “I am slipping!” but your unfailing love, O Lord, supported me. When doubts filled my mind, your comfort gave me renewed hope and cheer.” PSALM 94:18-19 NLT

“We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.” PSALM 33:20 NLT

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. JEREMIAH 29:11-13 NLT

STRUGGLING WITH SUICIDE TO SUNNY-SIDE-UP: FINDING HOME BY DAWN O’BRIEN

e are all just children trying to find home. I was nine when my parents got divorced. Done were the years of fights, cold shoulders, unspoken words, and the YELLING! You’d think it got better, but it was like jumping from a hot sidewalk into lava.

My Mom had custody of me and three little sisters. When we got to the airport, she said goodbye. She had a one-way to California; we were headed to live with her family in a poor country. We soon found ourselves in dark places—hungry, abandoned, bullied, and abused, even sexually. And so alone. There was no help or hope; just bad and worse. DARK PLACES

Many of us experience various types of trauma growing up. Trauma is just a word for intense bad things that happen to good kids and can cause them to make bad choices, like self-harm and suicide, or smoking, drinking, drugging, etc. Toxic stress from these traumas can damage brain development (yikes!) and are linked to mental illness and chronic health problems later in life.

The CDC (Center for Disease Control) Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study is one of the largest research studies that investigated the connection between childhood traumas and later-life health and well-being. This study focused on 10 common traumas naming them Adverse Childhood Experiences known as ACEs. Have you experienced any of the following 10 ACEs? (experienced before a person turns 18 years old)

o Physical Abuse (Were you often

slapped, shoved, grabbed, or ever hit so hard that it left marks or injured you?)

o Emotional abuse (Were you often

sworn at, put down, or humiliated or made to feel afraid of being physically hurt?)

o Sexual Abuse (Did an adult or person at least 5 years older than you ever touch your body in a sexual way or attempt or actually have oral, anal, or vaginal intercourse with you?) o Physical Neglect (Did you often not have enough to eat, had to wear dirty

clothes, had no protection, or were not given medical attention when you needed it?)

o Psychological neglect (Did you often

feel that nobody in your family loved you or thought you were special, or your family members did not feel close or did not support each other?)

o Addiction (Was anyone in your

household a problem drinker, an alcoholic, or addicted to street drugs?)

o Mental illness (Did a household

member suffer with depression, mental illness or attempt suicide?)

o Your mother treated violently (Did you often witness your mother treated with physical violence or threatened with a weapon?) o Separation/divorce of parents (Did you parents ever get separated or divorced?) o Incarcerated (Did a household member ever go to prison?)

Having ONE is damaging to a child; a high score is four or more. How many do you have? Being mindful of this may

help you to seek healing and resolve root issues in a winning way to possibly avoid health issues later in life. I have nine of the 10, so I joke that I’m a poster child for ACEs. I “aced” the ACEs test, LOL! What’s not funny is the bad choices I made and dark places I ended up. Like jail. Or my darkest and loneliest place: suicide. SUNNY SIDE UP!

When I turned 14, I was over being a throwaway kid in a dumpster world. I planned my suicide for a Sunday afternoon. I walked into a church to say my last prayers but God “read my mail!”

Pastor was talking about suicide, a man in our church had tried and failed. “‘God never meant harm for you,’” the pastor quoted the Bible, “‘but for a future and a hope,’ Jeremiah 29:11!” That hit harder than a bullet, deeper than any pill. Pastor finished, “Someone here today is at the end of their rope, let’s pray! Will you allow Jesus to come into your dark places and heal your heart?” For the first time since my parents’ divorce I saw tears flowing out of my eyes and down my cheeks. My life flipped upside-right from death and darkness to life and light. It’s a roller coaster ride as I’m still working

it out…but OH THE RIDE! Friend, you’re reading this for a reason: God wants you to know you’re loved beyond the mess and darkness. He really does have a plan for a future and a hope, and there IS HELP! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Find a trusted church leader, teacher, or school counselor and get help! There are people in your community who care and want to help and support you. I found out home is a very real hope, Jesus Christ. May you find home in His heart too!

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

JOURNAL

You are smarter and stronger than you realize.

God wastes nothing!

She Prote

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E PROTECTS

“Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life.” PROVERBS 4:23 AMP

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 13

ects.

GUARDING YOUR HEART BY CHARIS LOGAN

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.” PROVERBS 4:23 NLT

hen I was a teenager, I’m pretty sure I was the only one who was not allowed to have a boyfriend…and actually didn’t. From before middle school, my parents and I had many conversations about how the purpose of dating is for marriage, so I was not allowed to date until after I graduated from high school. They would tell me, “Just have fun! Save yourself from needless heartache and drama. Have lots of friends of the opposite gender. And guard your heart!” And I listened. Yes, there was a bit of fear in me of getting in trouble. But even more than that, I respected my parents and didn’t ever want anything to come between us, which I knew a lie of that size would. Although that was in place, it was definitely not easy to fulfill this commitment! I was a “late bloomer” and guys didn’t start to notice me until 9th grade. Until then, I just saw myself as “the friend” and truly didn’t mind it. Of course, all that changed when I started to notice that guys were starting to notice me. “Just don’t tell them,” they would say. “It could be our little secret.” But I would confidently stay firm on my decision, to which they would reply, “Well, don’t worry…I’ll wait for you.”

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

I can’t tell you how many times I heard that same conversation play out. What became even more predictable was when they would inevitably grow tired of waiting and move on to the next girl who was ready to be their girlfriend. It was not easy to see and hear about how this guy who seemed so interested in me—who told me that I was beautiful, amazing, and worth the wait—was now dating and sleeping with some other girl (you know how word gets around). Yes, it hurt and crushed me. Every. Single. Time. But each time it happened; I grew stronger. I learned something especially important about boys: Never trust what a guy says, trust what he does. Looking back on my teenage years, I can honestly say that I have no regrets when it comes to the guy arena. There is never a day that I look back and wish that I had disobeyed my parents and dated. Seeing the guy’s true motive and character (after the fact), I’m pretty sure I know how it would’ve ended— needless heartache. I grew up hearing people quote Proverbs 4:23, telling me to “guard my heart.” I never really knew what that meant. Sure, that sounds good. But what does it actually look like? Only after being well into my adult years did I realize that my experience of not dating as a teenager helped to equip me in guarding my heart. When I did start dating, heartache did come along with it, but thankfully (for the most part) it wasn’t needless. You want to guard your heart because it is so precious and valuable. When you do this, as Proverbs 4:23 says, it will determine the course of your life.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO GUARD YOUR H.E.A.R.T. ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DO START DATING: Honesty

Be honest with yourself, with God, and others. You don’t have to tell the whole world when you are crushing on someone but begin by being honest with yourself and talk to God about it! As this crush starts to evolve, be honest with people who love you and love Jesus. Once you start to hide things, it gets easier to rationalize and justify poor choices. Deceit only leads to a bad relationship.

Emotions come second

Your feelings for someone are not necessarily controllable, but your actions are. You may have heard the term, follow your heart. What I like to say in this situation is, “Don’t follow your heart (emotions/feelings), follow your head!” Do not let your emotions rule you and make the decisions for you. One of the best ways to guard your heart and have a clear head when trying to figure out if a person is for you, is to not let the relationship get physical. I know that it’s hard to not hold hands and hug for hours (and all the other stuff too)! But trust me, when we get physically and sexually involved, it messes with our head then suddenly, things are not so clear anymore.

Accountability

Find someone that you respect, love, and want to imitate to hold you accountable in guarding your heart. However, you cannot expect all the responsibility to fall on this accountability partner. Remember, accountability starts with YOU. You may have heard the phrase, don’t ask, don’t tell. With accountability,

the phrase should be, don’t ask, DO tell. This basically means that even if your accountability partner is not asking all the hard questions, you have assumed the responsibility to share ALL. Just because they did not ask the right question, does not mean that you don’t share it. When you do date, another good form of accountability is to have others around you. There will be less temptation to get physical and it’s a good way to see how your boyfriend interacts with others. Is he the same person with you as he is with his friends? That will show a lot about his character.

Risk management

High Risk Management is a business term that is used when a business is venturing out. It basically means that before they make any big decisions, they must consider all the RISKS (e.g., liability, accidents, uncertainty in economy and finances, natural disasters, etc.). The same thing should be included in the process of a relationship. Because your heart is so precious, you should take into considerations all the RISKS. Taking it to the next level could jeopardize your friendship or risk getting your heart broken. It is wise to consider all the risks before making a big decision like this.

Trust in father god

Ultimately, the most important tip to guarding your heart is to TRUST THE FATHER. Boundaries are good (and I am for them!),

but the driving force behind guarding your heart should be your relationship with God. He knows the deepest parts of your heart; even the parts that you are unaware of! So, when you start to have a crush on someone, let Him be the first One that you talk to about it! He loves to hear the things on your heart because He deeply and genuinely cares. Tell Him how you are feeling, ask Him questions, tell Him when you’re frustrated! Lastly, can you trust that God is for you? Can you trust that He is an amazing Father who only wants to give you His very BEST? The truth is, you can trust Him! “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7 NLT

Let His peace guard your mind and heart, knowing that you have nothing to worry about. One of my mentors told me this when I was a teenager and I never forgot it:

Bury your heart so deep in God that when a man wants it, he has to go to Jesus to find it.

In the same way, if we are striving to be good, lovely and admirable people we have to be careful about what we add or mix into our minds and souls. In Philippians 4:8 NIV, Paul puts it this way:

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Protecting Your Soul BY ELISA NAKAMURA Whenever I am in a new situation: moving to a new town, starting a new job, joining a new group, this cake has been a sure-fire way to make new friendships! Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees F˚

1 1 3 8 ½ 1

box chocolate cake mix (devil's food or regular chocolate) box chocolate pudding mix large eggs ounces sour cream cup oil cup water

So we need to be selective about what we allow ourselves to watch, listen to and contemplate. We may tell ourselves, well it's only this one horror movie or that the pornography is just my little secret or the sarcastic angry YouTuber is just funny...but all of that is going into the mix of our souls. Jesus said that we are defiled by what comes out of us—and those defiling things come out of our hearts. So where do our hearts get those things? They come in through the windows of our eyes and ears. Being picky about what you let into your mind and heart is a smart move.

Put all ingredients together in a bowl and mix until combined (batter may be slightly lumpy). Add 2 cups chocolate chips & mix. Spray a bundt pan with non-stick spray, then pour batter evenly into the pan. Bake for 1 hour, turn the oven off and open the door slightly. Allow the cake to remain in the oven for another hour with the heat off.

To serve: Remove cake from the oven and place a plate face down over the top

so that it covers the entire pan. Flip the pan & plate over together and remove the pan just before serving. This cake is rich enough to serve without icing, but if you want you can heat 1 cup of chocolate chips and 1/2 cup of whipping cream on low, whisking gently until a creamy chocolate glaze forms. Drizzle this over the cake before serving. Optional: Go into the yard and get a teeny tiny piece of dog poop and add it to your

batter. No one will ever see it or even taste it. It will just be your little secret.

Wait! No! Who would ever ever do that? Of course you wouldn't want to make or

eat anything like that! Gross! You only want good, wholesome and delicious things in your cake, right?

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

But what if I already have a bunch of junk in there? Good news—unlike a cake, there is a way to get the gunk out of us—his name is Jesus! “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”( I John 1:9, NIV). Jesus came to cleanse us from all that yuck that we may have let inside our hearts & minds. He never loses sight of the honorable, admirable, praiseworthy person he made you to be—even if you have. He will say to you exactly what he has said to even the worst of us, “Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more.” So, confess to him, loosen those things from inside of you and replace them with movies, books, and words from your own mouth that are pure, right, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy.

OH EVE!!! BY SHANNON MAROCCO

“Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame” GEN 2:25 NLT

“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked…” GENESIS 3:6,7 NIV

*Shock *Regret *Pain *Loss Can you imagine what that moment must have felt like for Eve? Her eyes were OPENED but not how she thought. The crafty serpent promised her everything yet left her with nothing but the awareness of her nakedness and shame. Just seconds before she had it ALL: beauty, love, abundance, pure joy and God’s unadulterated presence. There were no shadows in Eden, no discord, no disorder, or fear, no SIN! Now everything had changed. She was left with the reality of her CHOICE! ONE CHOICE! A choice that caused her to reject God’s instructions and do her own thing. Her revelation became her NAKEDNESS not her DEITY. I believe in that moment Eve wished, with every fiber in her body, that she could take back that impulsive choice to disobey and eat the forbidden fruit. The truth is we are all like EVE to some extent…

We have all experienced temptation and sin, guilt and shame, regret and defeat. And just like Eve, Satan deceives us with clever combinations of outright lies, half-truths, and falsehoods disguised as truths. We all have tried to cover our mistakes with our own fruitless efforts, thinking that our only option was run and hide. Sister, let me tell you that the devil always makes you feel like there is no way out of your mess. That’s when you need to tell him to just SHUT UP! He is the father of lies and will try to trip you up every time. Satan’s objective is to drive a wedge between you and God. That’s why you must remember that God loves and adores you! He created you wonderfully, beautifully, and intentionally! He gave everything to YOU.

3. SIN. “...so she took some of the fruit and

ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it too. At that moment their eyes were opened...” (Genesis 3:6-7 NLT) There it is folks; sin entered the world. 4. SHAME. “…and they suddenly felt

shame at their nakedness. So, they sewed fig leaves together to COVER themselves.” (Genesis 3:7 NLT) 5. BLAME. “...The Lord asked “Have

you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?” The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.” (Genesis 3:11,12 NLT) Now that we established how the enemy works let’s talk about how you can stand against the CYCLE OF SIN!

SO WHAT CAN WE LEARN FROM THIS STORY? HOW CAN WE GUARD OUR PURITY AND NOT FALL PREY TO THE ENEMY'S SCHEMES?

RESIST THE LIES

I am so glad you asked. First, I want to bring your attention to how the enemy works every time. It’s the same old tricks. He wants to get you caught in the CYCLE OF SIN. This is how it works.

James 4:7 NIV, says “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”

1. DOUBT. First, Satan plants seeds

of doubt in your mind. “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” (Genesis 3:1) His aim is to get you to question God’s goodness, love, and motives. 2. LIES. Secondly, he deposits lies.

“You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” (Genesis 3:4-5 NLT)

When the enemy starts planting seeds of doubt and whispering lies, fight him with God's Word.

If you keep allowing him access to your mind, he will take up residence. You need to ask yourself, do my thoughts and feelings align with the word? If they don’t, they could easily be the enemy trying to trip you up. Rebuke those thoughts (lies) and ask God to reveal the truth. REFUSE TO SETTLE

Secondly, determine in your heart that you are going to refuse to settle for anything but God’s best. One of my favorite illustrations clearly paints the picture of keeping your standards high. “Girls are like apples on trees…the best ones are at the top of the tree…but the boys

are afraid to reach for them because they don’t want to fall and hurt themselves. So instead, they pick the ones on the ground…. which are not too good…but EASY...that is why the apples at the top think that there is something wrong with them...they are AMAZING. That’s why girls just need to be patient and wait for the one boy who is willing to climb to the top of the tree.”

• FOCUS on your studies (do not be a slacker)! • FOCUS on being your best rather than trying to be like someone else (people want an original, not a copy). • FOCUS on the Word (it’s your daily bread...yum)!

REWRITE YOUR STORY

No matter what your past looks like or how you have fallen into sin you can rewrite your story. God sent his son Jesus to this earth to pay a ransom for your sin. Basically, he took our place. We deserved death, but instead Jesus laid his life down for YOU! The Bible says, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23 NIV). 7.7 Billion people on this earth have fallen short.

REFOCUS YOUR DESIRES

The best way to keep from falling into the enemy’s trap is to focus your attention on God's desires. • FOCUS on your call (He has great things in store for you)! • FOCUS on your relationship with God rather than a guy (btw God will never break up with you)!

Deep breath. You are not alone! But remember it’s not our good works or generic attempt to cover or hide our sin that saves us. We are saved only through believing in Jesus Christ…our Savior, our Redeemer, our Messiah! Today, you can break the CYCLE OF SIN by humbling yourself and REPENTING (asking God for forgiveness). He will forgive you of your sins and make you brand NEW, washing away all your past mistakes. Determine in your heart from here on out to RUN to God instead of running away from Him. Let Him embrace you with His loving-kindness and tender mercies.

PROTECTING THE PLEASURE, PASSION, AND THE PRICELESS DIAMOND God’s Gift of Sex BY MICHELE OKIMURA “God is the author of sex. In the beginning, God made mankind male and female, and blessed their lives with a big YES: Yes, have a fulfilling, abundant life! Yes, have lots of sex! Yes, make lots of babies! Yes, fill the Earth! The only time God said no to sex was when sex was not protected, or maybe we should say, when we were not protected. God never designed sex to be experienced a la carte. It is part of a package deal…” HAVILAH CUNNINGTON, THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT SEXUALITY

Why should you protect your sexual integrity? The culture says, “Why not have sex before marriage? Go pleasure yourself, its fine!” Many in our society, maybe even your friends would say that it is abnormal to not have sex before marriage. Does God love sex? He created it and designed it. God gave you and I a sex drive! This is not a shameful thing! He created your

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

body in such a way that in adolescence, the desire to have sex begins to naturally grow—but He wants us to learn how to manage that sex drive until marriage. In the beginning before the world even began, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit existed. Our amazing God, three in One! In the Bible, it is seen how the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit exist in love as they continually honor and lift each other up.

Some words that would describe their relationship would be: *Committed *Compassionate *Pure *Serving *Encouraging *Safe

*Honoring *Unity *Intimate *Harmonious *Joyful *Trusting

God created Adam and Eve, male and female in His image. Together

they more completely reflected the image of God. God intended that they would share the same type of loving relationship that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit had. It was in this context of a committed, safe relationship, that God told Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply. It was as if God was saying, “Adam and Eve, go ahead and have amazing, passionate sex and the fruit of your union will be children!” Want to have the best sex ever? Then understand that God created and designed sex to happen within the context of marriage—in a committed, loving relationship between a husband and a wife. I want to make you aware. You have an enemy, Satan, whose passion and focus is to destroy your life and therefore your destiny in God. If you study the false gods of the Old Testament such as Baal, Asherah, and Molech, they were all about twisting and distorting sexuality contrary to God’s design. Distorting God’s design for sexuality may be the NUMBER ONE tactic Satan uses to destroy lives and families when you consider issues of epidemic proportions such as pornography and sex addictions, prostitution, adultery, and the evils of sexual abuse, and sex trafficking. Bling. Who doesn’t like diamonds? God loves bling because He created all kinds of precious bling—rubies, emeralds, sapphires, diamonds and more!

There are real diamonds, and then there are those counterfeit diamonds like rhinestones or cubic zirconia. God doesn’t want his children to settle for counterfeits. He wants them to have the real deal. In short, diamonds have many facets that reflect light. This is what makes the diamond so beautiful! God’s design for sex is much like a priceless diamond. Within marriage, sex is a sacred, beautiful, intimate gift to a married couple that is blessed by God. God designed sex with many glorious facets that can only be experienced within marriage.

miracle working God. If this is you, seek help such as professional counseling to begin or continue your healing journey! Find safe friends and family who will support you in your healing process. Your Father is a good, good Father who created the good, good gift of pleasurable, passionate, loving, sex for married couples. Let us understand that there is a battle to the honeymoon we must enter, but it is worth the fight Beloved!

“Anyone can give away something expensive, but only those who understand Research even shows that married couples overall enjoy the most satisfying, sacrifice can give away loving, thriving sex lives in society. something valuable.”

If you have already lost your virginity outside of marriage, God’s heart reaches out to you as He desires to heal and restore you to sexual faithfulness, to His ways. He wants to take away any shame from you because He is a God of grace and new beginnings! If this is you, commit afresh to sexual integrity and connect to a godly mentor who can support you in your efforts. If you have been sexually abused, God so desires to heal your wounded heart, remove your shame, and restore you to wholeness. He gives you a hope for a great future and destiny…He is a

KRIS VALLOTON, MORAL REVOLUTION: THE NAKED TRUTH ABOUT SEXUAL PURITY.

Whether we get married or not in this lifetime, ultimately God desires for us to all enjoy eternal pleasures, which is found as we follow Him!

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” PSALM 16:11 NIV

“When your thoughts are ruled by your private parts, you can come to the craziest conclusions, which will affect the rest of your life. That is why it is so important for you to invite people into your life who can help to oversee your romantic relationships and give you some honest feedback.” KRIS VALLOTON

You wanna know a secret? Well, most of my business is already out there on the streets, so I guess I don’t have too many secrets. Growing up, I didn’t think my life would look like this. I never wanted to be a woman with five husbands. When the first one left, and then the next, and the next... I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t even know if the guy I was with at the time was going to abandon me too. Every girl prays she will get a husband that adores her, respects her, protects her, but that was not how the cards fell for me. I was far from being adored and I certainly wasn’t respected. Protected? Well, let’s not get into that.

/desire/. For some of you reading this, you have already lost your virginity whether you did it just once or have been sexually active. God is a God of grace and chances. As you come to Him with a repentant heart and ask Him for forgiveness, He restores you and gives you a fresh start once again. He wants to wash away your shame. From this point going forward, commit yourself to protecting your purity in Him. Remember, purity starts with having a pure heart. Meet this one woman who had lots of sex outside of marriage...but then she met Jesus and everything changed.

Desire. My heart was full of desire for love. For validation. For life. For hope. I met this man Jesus, and everything changed. He asked me for a drink of water that day and actually talked to me—the one person in town that people hated. It’s like he saw me, the one who felt invisible. He knew everything about me that was shameful, yet his eyes held no judgment. Only compassion. That one conversation we had changed my life. How He did that, I don’t know. I just know the shame, the pain, this dark thing I felt following me everywhere just disappeared! I felt alive for the first time. Come now! Meet this man Jesus who knew everything about me and knows everything about you! This man Jesus who says to you, “YOU are my great Desire!” A CREATIVE NARRATIVE WRITTEN BY TINASHA LARAYE BASED ON THE SAMARITAN WOMAN IN JOHN 4:1-28

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

THE GREAT EXCHANGE BY MIKELA KOBAYASHI

knew all the statistics about sexually transmitted infections, teen pregnancy, and contraceptives. However, no one prepared me for the emotional damage that accompanied sex before marriage.

I was a sophomore in high school when I got into my first relationship. He was kind and funny, so naturally I was attracted to him. Several months into our relationship, we started becoming more physical. At the same time, the older girls in my dance classes would tell stories about what they did with their boyfriends and encouraged me that as long as I loved my boyfriend, it was okay to adventure further. So, we did.

school when I got the news that my boyfriend had been sleeping with another girl! At that moment, I lost all self-control and let my whole world crumble to the ground. I had never felt such intense pain, anger, or betrayal. For years afterwards, I would look into the mirror and see someone who was inadequate, forgotten, slutty, damaged goods, and unwanted. Yet my heart was still so desperate to be loved. As I entered into my first years of college, I also entered into new relationships. Except this time, I developed friendships with faithful young women who genuinely loved Jesus. Being around these women challenged me to meet this Jesus they loved so much. Once I let Jesus into my heart, I was conflicted with a choice to either continue to live by my hopeless identity and lifestyle or to plunge 100% into a life with Jesus. I remember the moment

I sat in my green Honda Civic with tears flooding from my eyes, crying out to Jesus saying, “I don’t want to live a double life anymore! I want You, Jesus!” As I took a step towards Jesus, I also took a step towards vulnerability and healing. I let Jesus come into the deepest, most embarrassing parts of my heart so He could heal it. On this journey of healing, I traded the attributes I believed about myself for the truth of who He said I was. I traded inadequate for worthy. Forgotten for important. Slutty for pure. Damaged goods for beauty. Unwanted for loved much. You too can make this trade. I want you to know, there is nothing that is unforgivable. There’s no secret too deep, no lie too heavy, no fear too powerful that Jesus cannot heal and restore. Take a step towards Jesus. Trust Him. Make the great exchange.

What those girls did not prepare me for “To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for was the amount of jealousy, self-doubt, ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise and attachment that would come with giving up my virginity. Then, it got worse. instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like One morning during my senior year, I was chatting with my girlfriends before

great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.” ISAIAH 61:3 NLT

She Spark

B RAVE & B EAUTI FU L JOU RN EY: SH E SPARKLES

Sparkle!

You will inspire those

around you!

JOU RN EY 02 • CHAPTER 14

kles.

sparkle! The world needs your twinkling. How many people do you think would be affected if you turned off your shining light? The truth is, you have no idea how many lives your sparkle will inspire and impact in your lifetime! Will you go past your comfort zone and step bravely into the unknown to sparkle more of who you are—a gift to this world? The choice is yours. The moments you do step out are moments to celebrate—and are certainly moments that God celebrates!

DISCOVER / ACCEPT / EMBRACE /

CELEBRATE YOU!

There are so many various temperament and personality tests you can take to discover more of your design that are worth taking. Some are even free online! Explore and take some of those tests to discover more of who you are, who you are not, and your strengths and weaknesses. You will be continually changing, maturing, and blossoming forth throughout your life, but God created you with a unique, specific design that you will continually grow into more and more fully as you follow Him! It will be a process and an interesting journey as you discover the facets of your own sparkle and live it out!

We each have unique… • personalities and temperaments • past experiences • insights and knowledge • ways we think about things • gifts, talents, and abilities • spiritual gifts • strengths and weaknesses • callings and destinies • passions and creative expressions

CHECK OUT SPIRITUAL GIFTS! “God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another.” I PETER 4:10, NLT

“If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.” ROMANS 12:7-8 NLT, BOLD ADDED

And so much more!

OUR DEEPEST FEAR BY MARIANNE WILLIAMSON

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness That most frightens us. We ask ourselves Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small Does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking So that other people won't feel insecure around you.

ACTIVITY Let’s have some fun! Take a look at these four common groupings of traits that generally separate personality types (of course we can have traits in more than one group, but we usually will relate strongest to one type). Note that the Myer Briggs personality test has broken it down further to 16 personality types and combinations! Which one do you most identify with?

• • • • • • • • • •

ANALYTICAL ORGANIZED PERFECTIONIST ORDERLY AND FACTUAL LOVES ROUTINE PROMPT/MEETS DEADLINES RESERVED PERSEVERING INQUISITIVE DETAILED AND METICULOUS

• • • • • • •

TASK-ORIENTED DOES WELL UNDER PRESSURE NATURAL LEADER – TAKES CHARGE COMPETITIVE DECISIVE AND BOLD COMMUNICATES TO THE POINT TENDS TO DIRECTLY CONFRONT WHEN IN A CONFLICT • ENJOYS CHALLENGES • SELF-RELIANT

We are all meant to shine, As children do. We were born to make manifest The glory of God that is within us.

• • • • • • • • • •

FEELS EMOTIONS FRIENDLY AND RELATIONAL TEAM-ORIENTED EASY GOING AND NON-DEMANDING GOOD LISTENER CARES A LOT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF THEM VALUES HARMONY LOYAL TENDS TO WANT TO AVOID CONFLICT SYMPATHETIC AND NURTURING

• • • • • • • • • •

ADVENTUROUS NATURAL PROMOTER AND MOTIVATOR ENERGETIC ENJOYS BEING SPONTANEOUS FREE-SPIRITED TAKES RISKS VERY VERBAL AND MIXES EASILY NATURAL VISIONARY OPTIMISTIC LIKES VARIETY

WHAT ARE SOME THINGS THAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT?

It's not just in some of us; It's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, Our presence automatically liberates others.

How many people does it take to make a difference? One.

One song can spark a moment, One flower can wake the dream. One tree can start a forest, One bird can herald spring. One smile begins a friendship, One handclasp lifts a soul.

One candle wipes out darkness, One laugh will conquer gloom. One step must start each journey, One word must start a prayer. One hope will raise our spirits, One touch can show you care.

One star can guide a ship at sea, One word can frame a goal. One vote can change a nation, One sunbeam lights a room.

One voice can speak with wisdom, One heart can know what’s true. One life can make a difference, That difference starts with you. -UNKNOWN

ACTIVITY: Write down nice things people have said about you. Choose one thing to meditate on each day.

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

pssst!

secrets for shining “It is our privilege and our adventure to discover our own special light.” MARY DUNBAR

“Shine with all you have.” KATELYN S. IRONS

Are you ready for more blooming? You can tear this out or take a photo of this to remind yourself of these stepping stones that will point you in the right direction!

1.GROWING IS GOOD!

Be teachable. Be humble enough to grow from every experience. With our many imperfections, we are all in the process of becoming more like Jesus. What is God trying to teach you or say to you through your circumstances? Is He trying to grow in you compassion? Confidence? Trust? Ask Him. “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” MAYA ANGELOU “If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind.” JAMES 1:5-6 NLT

2. CARE FOR YOURSELF God cares so much for you, therefore practice self-care. Love and value yourself in healthy ways. If you have experienced any trauma, get help for your healing! Grow in emotional, mental, and physical health! Give your burdens to God in prayer and get refueled by spending solitude time with God—Jesus did! “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I PETER 5:7 NIV

3.FIND YOUR TRUE FRIENDS:

Some friends build you up while others can drain your energy. Reflect on the advice your close friends are giving you. Are they safe, wise, and trustworthy? Do they want what’s best for you? Consider their maturity and character before giving them your ear on important matters. Good friends lift you up. Sometimes it can be a painful, lonely season trying to find true friends. If this is you, continue to persevere and keep asking for God’s provision! At the same time, we can all work on becoming that true friend to others! “There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” PROVERBS 18:24 NLT

4.PASSION AND FOCUS

Seek to discover activities you enjoy and look for opportunities to dive in! Your Creator designed you with unique interests, skills, gifts, and talents! Explore things that interest you. Do more of what you love. Chances are, it is connected in some way to your purpose and God-given destiny!

“Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.” JULIA CHILD

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” EPHESIANS 2:10 NLT

5.STAY TRUE TO YOU

We all have those moments when we find ourselves comparing ourselves to someone, experiencing rejection, or feeling intimidated by someone due to their status, looks, or otherwise. The desire to please others to fit in and belong is real! Staying true to yourself can be easier said than done. Ask God to help you be your most authentic, genuine self and help you to find friends who appreciate you for being you! God knows you best—more than you know yourself! Journal by compiling a list of positive words that describes how God sees you.

“You are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.” MATTHEW 5:14-16 NLT

M IND F UL LET T ERING Trace the lettering - it does not have to be perfect! Enjoy the process of creative lettering

BRAVE & BEAUTIFUL

Action Steps

YOU GO GIRL! LET’S WALK IT OUT. she is Brave & Beautiful you!

••

She Blooms. She Perseveres. She Protects. She Sparkles.

CHOOSE ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING ACTIONS STEPS: 1. Purchase a flowering plant or buy seeds to grow a flowering plant. Follow the care instructions as

best you can. Use this plant as a reminder to bloom where you are! Whether you are successful or not

in growing the plant—it's ok! You just might discover you enjoy caring for plants!

2. Find a Bible verse that encourages you to not give

up! Frame it or put it on a post-it note where you will see it regularly. Commit it to memory!

3. If you want to commit to walking in sexual integrity, in saving the gift of sex for marriage from this

point onward, ask a mentor or mature friend to support you.

sexual integrity. Interview successful couples you

know of who are walking in or have walked in sexual integrity to gather ideas to consider and practice.

4. When we think of sparkling, visions of glittery jewels can easily come to mind. God seems to love bling

because gems are referenced throughout the Bible. Gems have historical and cultural meanings. Pick a gem below that represents attributes you aspire to

have. Take a screenshot photo of that gem and write down its attributes as a reminder of ways you want to sparkle.

Diamond: Purity/Commitment/Faithfulness/Love

Invite this person to check in with you to see how your relationship is going, making sure to cover

sexual integrity. Be honest! They will help you to not give in to sexual temptation, help to protect your heart, and help to keep you safe.

Ruby: Nobility/Passion/Purity

Emerald: Balance/Harmony/Growth/Abundance Amethyst: Peace/Calm/Wisdom/Hope

Sapphire: Virtue/Wisdom/Holiness/Royalty

Aqua Marine: Transformation/Loyalty/Truth/ Tranquility

Once you start dating, it will be especially helpful to

create safe, appropriate boundaries to protect your

1-888-373-7888

TOLL-FREE HOTLINE | 24/7 CONFIDENTIAL

Get Help Report Trafficking

S P A C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL:

S PA C E TO P RAC T IC E, D RAW, OR JOURNAL :

M IND F UL C OLORING

“

...YOU WILL BE CALLED BY A NEW NAME THAT THE MOUTH OF THE LORD WILL BESTOW. YOU WILL BE A CROWN OF SPLENDOR IN THE LORD’S HAND, A ROYAL DIADEM IN THE HAND OF YOUR GOD. ISAIAH 62:2-3 NIV