Letter from the Editor
Neighborhood Etiquette
Etiquette Q & A
Kids Etiquette
Legendary Recipe-Amy Vanderbilt’s
Cheesecake
Gluten-Free Recipes-Peanut Butter Pecan
Muffins
Spring Into Organizing
Conversation Etiquette
Tea Etiquette
Welcome! I am so glad you are here! This is our first edition of Etiquette Magazine, and we are thrilled you’ve joined us. If you enjoy all things etiquette, home, and lifestyle, then you’ve come to the right place (or, should I say, the right publication!) This issue is jampacked with helpful information, such as an etiquette Q & A section, a spring organizing article with jump-starting tips as well as a legendary recipe cheesecake recipe. We have a gluten-free recipe section, too! Spring Tea etiquette is on the menu and a feature article on neighborhood etiquette that you may find especially helpful as Spring and Summer approach. A ‘Kids Korner’ section will also be a regular part of this publication. So, welcome again from all of us at Etiquette Magazine! With etiquette enthusiasm, and much gratitude,
Susan
Susan Vernick, founding editor
Neighborhood Etiquette-Being Joy-full Neighbors by Susan
VernickNeighbor relationships are complex, plain, and simple. Here are Five Simple Etiquette Practices to Grow These Relationships:
Greetings-In the hustle and bustle of life, running errands, going to work, and taking the kids to practice, remember that simple, quick greetings go a long way in keeping the neighborhood a friendly one where we greet each other; wave and exchange simple pleasantries. A quick chat about the weather, sports teams, or family life is a wonderful way to stay connected. Also, making time for quality time together, whether a summer iced tea on a porch, a spring luncheon, or a holiday get-together, is lovely if possible
Resolving Tension- If you find you have a problematic neighbor, remain cordial if possible and keep the peace (providing there are no safety issues) and wave when you can. Even sharing a dozen or two of your most prized cookies during the holiday season may melt the icy feelings that sometimes happen between neighbors. Remembering the Spanish Proverb lightheartedly, "The belly rules the mind." But should any tension exist, pray for your neighbor and that relationship, and never underestimate the power of a kind, loving gesture.
Helping- Whether a new baby, surgery, a simple repair, or difficult circumstances, step in with a "can I help anything text/gesture." When my husband was deployed for almost a year to the Mid-East, during the War on Terror, many neighbors helped with lawn care, running errands, and more. We now reciprocate those wonderfully kind gestures whenever we can. Of course, you will not get to everything, but doing something, goes a long way. And if you are on the receiving end, a simple thank you note (which I highly recommend) is, of course, a perfectly wonderful etiquette practice. At a minimum, a heartfelt "thank you" makes for a wonderfully kind exchange.
Sharing- Whether it be a surplus of vegetables, a terrific recipe, a discounted item at the local nursery, or a miter saw, share your surplus or great find tips! This is a great way, in a real, tangible way, to love others. Also, these small interactions may allow God to open the doors and lines of communication to share about your faith, especially if an already established relationship exists. Remembering this scripture, "Don't forget to do good and share what you have because God is pleased with these kinds of sacrifices." Hebrews 13:16
Being Courteous (Noise) - Whether it is noise levels such as barking dogs, graduation parties, or other gatherings, be mindful of your neighbors. Indeed, occasional large gatherings outside the normal noise levels are fine. And who doesn't love the sound of children playing but ask yourself, "Would (insert sound) bother me once or over and over again?" answering honestly is the best gauge to avoid noise pollution and possibly polluting the relationships around you; mindful always of Matthew7:12, "So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them" We are aiming to be a light to those around us.
Being Courteous (Space) - Nothing more notoriously introduces tension to neighbors than property lines and space intrusion. Living on a 1000-acre farm probably has its own set of challenges, but in suburbia and not-quite-suburbia, property lines are a lightning rod for tension and even argument producers. I had a wise pastor share a story about an argument with a neighbor because the neighbor was upset with him because he thought he was intruding on their property line. It escalated as the weeks passed, and the pastor never engaged in arguing; instead, they committed to praying about the situation. Shortly after that, the neighbor apologized and began building a relationship. Now, not every case ends with such a fairytale ending. But, my takeaway was not the ending but the praying and trusting in God. Is there any other better way to spearhead a difficult neighbor situation? Trusting that God shows you step by step when to speak and intervene and when to stay quiet. Not easy, for sure! But, knowing God's great care about these relationships must always remain at the forefront of our minds. Aiming to be a well-mannered neighbor should be a delight, not a burden.
Looking Out for Each Other. We live in tumultuous times, with covid, the economy, and more all having caused things to feel heavier. Look out for each other's homes, text each other if a package remains on the front porch and notify each other of anything questionable. Knowing you have each other's back is the most neighborly gesture that builds trust and is the best foundation for being a light to those around you.
So, embrace the journey of being neighborly, and be mindful of what a good, courteous neighbor is. Try to keep in the forefront of your mind this insightful quote, "All will concede that to have good neighbors, we must also be good neighbors. That applies in every field of human endeavor." -Harry S. Truman.
"All will concede that to have good neighbors, we must also be good neighbors. That applies in every field of human endeavor." -Harry S. Truman.
Question: I never received a thank you note or acknowledgment of my gift. What should I do?
Answer:
Option #1:You could do a quick follow-up phone call or text saying that you are a little worried that your gift may not have been received. “we have had issues lately with deliveries arriving on time.”
Option #2 Start with “I am a bit of a worrier, and I just want to be certain you receive my ____________.”
Option #3: Wait it out; sometimes, time resolves this issue. If not, use one of the above tactics.
Question: We sometimes find dinner guests staying later than we expect. How do we handle this where we are not hurting anyone’s feelings?
Answer: The best way to address this preemptively is by setting a wrap-up time ahead of time with your guests. You could also drop clues about needing to be up early or beginning to do some light cleaning to drop some non-verbal clues.
Teach the Importance of a firm handshake.
Teach and model “please,” “thank you” “excuse me” and “I'm sorry.”
Teach your child(ren) how to properly introduce someone. With the person of “importance” being named first.
No electronics at the dinner table or at a restaurant.
Model good eye contact and teach the importance of this skill.
From Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Cookbook.” Published in 1961
Ingredients
1 ½ crushed
graham crackers into crumbs
¼ C melted butter
2/3 C sugar
granulated
1/4t ground cinnamon
1 pound cream cheese
2T flour
1/4t salt
1 1/2t vanilla extract
4 eggs
1C heavy cream
Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. Generously butter a 9-inch spring-form baking pan.
Crust:
Combine graham cracker crumbs, butter, 1/4 C. sugar, and cinnamon.
Mix thoroughly and press evenly on the bottom of the prepared springform pan.
Mash cream cheese.
Add flour, remaining (1/2 C.) sugar, salt, and vanilla extract. Beat until smooth, creamy, and fluffy with an electric mixer at medium speed.
Add egg yolks, one at a time, and beat well after each one is added.
Stir in cream.
Whip egg whites until stiff but not too dry.
Gradually fold the cream cheese mixture into whipped egg whites.
Pour batter over crumbs in spring form.
Bake for 1 hour or until the center is completely set. Remove from oven and let cool completely.
Cut around the cake’s edge and remove the pan’s rim. Chill the cake.
Strawberry Jam is a good topping.
by Anna Vernick
Ingredients for muffins:
2 eggs
1 banana
1/2 vegetable oil
1 cup brown sugar
2 tsp vanilla bean paste
1 1/4 cups whole milk
1 cup peanut butter
1 3/4 + 1/4 cup white rice flour
2 1/4 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup pecans (crushed)
1. Preheat oven for 4to and line 12-cup muffin tin with muffins.
2. In a mixing bowl, add the 2 eggs and beat with an electric mixer for about 1 minute.
3. Add banana, vegetable oil, and brown sugar and beat with an electric mixer until combined.
4. Add the milk, peanut butter, and vanilla bean paste and beat again until combined.
5. Add the white rice flour, salt, and baking powder to a separate bowl. Then add the wet ingredients slowly, beating the mixture as you add.
6. Once well combined, fold in the crushed pecans. At this time, you could also add other add-ins you want, like chocolate chips.
7. Spoon about 1/3 of a cup into each muffin cup. You want to fill the cups well so the muffins will rise better. This batter makes about 21 muffins, so you’ll have some leftovers.
8. Cook for 19-23 minutes or until muffins are golden brown. Remove muffins from tins and place them on a rack to cool.
9. As the muffins cool, microwave the peanut butter in 10-minute intervals until it has a honey-like consistency.
10. Drizzle the peanut butter over the muffins. Add pecans on top to taste.
Topping:
4 tablespoons of peanut butter
1/3 cup crushed pecans
Spring and cleaning go together like peanut butter, jelly, peas, and carrots (or so the sayings go!) What, then, are some top Spring organizing that helps kick-start your Spring cleaning?
1) Use the throw-away, keep, donate method by choosing a room or area and three boxes. Sort each item appropriately, and then remember to donate that week so that you are not storing or leaving these items in your car.
2) If you are in cold weather states, start organizing your closets where most of your cold weather gear is stored. Use the above method to help with this process.
3) Think Small (junk drawers, under bathroom cabinets, and kitchen sink.) Starting with smaller projects gives you a sense of accomplishment and almost instant gratification.
4) Go through bookshelves and TV/electronic areas. These can catch all areas that affect the room’s overall aesthetics.
5) Organize dressers and closets. Although this may seem daunting, setting aside an afternoon almost always puts a good dent in this organizing project.
6) Assess what needs to be done the most, make a list, and schedule your spring organizing projects.
If you are still motivated, begin detail cleaning each room by washing walls and floorboards, deep cleaning carpets, and caring for window treatments. Enjoy your better-organized home and consider summer or fall deep cleaning if you are cleaned out.
So, welcome Spring with open arms and a betterorganized home!
“Etiquette is not old-fashioned; it is actually fashionforward.”
Keep Good Eye Contact
Share something slightly personal.
Be genuinely interested.
Listen instead of thinking of a response.
Learn something from the conversation by asking their opinion.
Brush up on local and current events.
1) Pinkies always stay “in,” not pointing outward.
2) High Tea is an early dinner (possibly a meat component) served around 5 PM.
3) Low Tea (afternoon tea or just “tea”) is served between 3-5 PM with sandwiches, scones, and dessert.
4) Saucers stay on the table unless you are standing or sitting with no table in front of you.
5) Do not wrap your hands around the cup but pinch the loop with your index finger and thumb. Your middle finger goes along the bottom of the cup to offer support.
6) Stir in a 12 and 6 o’clock pattern, not swirling the tea.
7) Enjoy!
