Letter from Our Editor
Thanksgiving Table
Inspiration
Etiquette Q & A
Our Favorite Things
Trick or Treat
Etiquette
Legendary Recipe
Etiquette & Physical Differences
Gluten-Free Recipes
Pumpkin Recipes
Airplane Etiquette
Happy Fall!!” It's Fall, Y’all!” Even though I am not from the South, I love this phrase because you can hear the excitement in just this one small sentence. And, to say we are excited around here to welcome fall is an understatement! And although summer is a sweet season, fall is even sweeter with pumpkin & and apple delights, Thanksgiving, and trick-ortreat goodies!
Susan Vernick, founding editor etiquettechics@gmail.com
We are also excited to share that thousands read our spring and summer editions of Etiquette-Home & Lifestyle Magazine in over ten countries around the world. Thank you! We hope you find this fall issue ever-so-sweet, too, with our feature article on trick-or-treating etiquette as well as fall-related recipes and Thanksgiving advice and tips. We have our regular features, which include Etiquette Q & A, Gluten-free recipes as well as our Legendary Recipe section. We are also tackling physical differences and the etiquette surrounding that topic in a guest feature by Sylviana GirardiStebbins. As we begin the busy holiday travel season, we have an article about airplane etiquette brought to us by the Auersmont School of Etiquette & Protocol. Lastly, we have a new “Favorite Things” page that we think you will absolutely love.
So, bring on the mulled cider, apple picking, and cooler sweater days. The most colorful season, we welcome it in all its glorious colors and bountiful harvest!
Welcome back to our publication, and welcome to Fall, Y’all!
With etiquette enthusiasm, and much gratitude,
Susan
“Bring on the mulled cider, apple picking, and cooler sweater days.”
Susan A Vernick
Thewildly anticipated one night per year, where you go door to door, begging for food, and it’s perfectly okay. Yes! It’s Halloween, All Hollow’s Eve, Treat of Treat, or whatever you choose to call it; kids across the country look forward to this sweet & scary holiday. So, avoid being witchy in character and follow these simple rules to make a fun and safe Halloween!
: When approaching a home, only trick or treat at those homes with their front porch lights on. When lights are off, they are not participating in Halloween for various reasons. And that’s okay! There are always plenty of other homes handing out candy. When you approach a home and ring the doorbell, do so once or moderately knock. Say “trick or treat" and “thank you” once the homeowner has handed out candy. Try to talk to your children beforehand and ask them not to grab candy (I know this is not easy) and wait for the candy to be handed to them. Of course, tiny children may not always get this right, and that’s okay. It is a learning process for your little ghosts and goblins, a-hem, I mean prince
Homeowners, do your best to make your property safe for children. Lighted and illuminated walkways are a must, as well as cleared sidewalks and safe driveways. No head injuries or injured limbs are wanted unless they are part of a Halloween costume. Trick-or-treaters, avoid wearing too long clothing, especially when walking near jack-o’ lanterns. Also, parents, carry a flashlight or wear reflective gear if you are trick or treating after dark. Lastly, try to keep pets contained and not charging at children for both the pets’ and children’s safety.
Although there is much debate about how old is too old, ask yourself, “Wouldn’t you rather teens dress up for a little fun with friends rather than partying where unforeseen circumstances may arise?
Or, on roadways driving at night where our kiddos are scrambling across roads and driveways? So, should a teen knock at your door, please offer them a piece of candy with a smile, not criticism. Teens: Remember to say “thank you” and be frightfully polite.
: Yes, you could be that house that hands out apples, books, or toothbrushes, and the change could be welcome. But do not be surprised to hear a couple of groans here and there. Although the intentions are good, the expectations are high for Kit Kats, Snickers, and Peanut Butter Cups. So, take it with a grain of salt or a spoonful of sugar! Also, when handing out candy, ensure they are wrapped separately and sealed. Try to avoid handing out hard candy since it is not safe for our littlest trick-or-treaters.
Although it may seem “fun” at the time, it is rarely fun for the receiver. Not only can it be unpleasant, but it could be criminal. Avoid toilet papering, egging, or smashing pumpkins or anything along those lines. You may end up in a striped uniform or orange jumpsuit, not a costume, if you are not careful (okay, we are exaggerating.)
Embrace the chaotic, fun nature of Halloween and the constant “interruptions” of this yearly event. It is a fun night to connect with neighbors, laugh, and smile as the constant army of soldiers, Marvel characters, princesses, and historical characters ring your doorbell with big smiles- yelling, “Trick Or Treat!”
Fresh Greenery and Real Leaves
Decorate with:
Baby Boo Pumpkins
Ombre Pumpkins
Metallic Finish pumpkins
Hallowed Pumpkin and Flowers for Centerpieces
Mini vase bouquets
Decorative Place Cards
Fall Colored Linens
Beautiful Vintage Flatware
Linen or high-quality cotton napkins
Bone china or harvestthemed dishware.
Squash and Gourds make perfect table décor additions.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees and line baking sheets with parchment paper. Mix wet ingredients in a mixer (granulated sugar, brown sugar, pumpkin, and oil) for 12 minutes. Then add the egg and vanilla and mix to combine.
1 cup granulated sugar
½ cup packed brown sugar
15-ounce can of 100% pumpkin
½ cup vegetable oil
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 ½ cups gluten-free 1:1 baking flour
1 tablespoon pumpkin pie spice
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 ½ cups chocolate chips
In a medium bowl, mix together gluten-free flour, pumpkin pie spice, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients in the stand mixer (or with a hand mixer) on lower to medium speed until combined. Stir in the chocolate chips.
Scoop 1 ½ tablespoon size scoops onto the baking sheet and bake for 14-16 minutes. Enjoy!
By Elizabeth Soos
Good evening, passengers. This is the pre-boarding announcement for flight 496 to your home destination. We are now inviting those passengers with small children and any passengers requiring special assistance to begin boarding at this time. Please have your boarding pass and identification ready. Regular boarding will begin in approximately five minutes time….
Welcome aboard, fellow jet setters! Air travel can be a rollercoaster of emotions, from the excitement of a new adventure to the annoyance of cramped seats and crying babies. This guide will steer you through the turbulence of airplane travel etiquette with a smile. So, buckle up, put your seat in the upright position, and let's fly through the skies of courtesy!
Armrest Armada: The battle for armrest supremacy is real, my friends. I have been there! To avoid a mid-air conflict by offering a gracious compromise, like "I'll take the front half; you get the back." Remember, a truce is always better than an armrest anger.
: When stowing your carry-on luggage, do your best to avoid just throwing your bag anywhere. Place your luggage vertically and to the edge rather than the middle. This will help others stow their carry-on luggage and get seated quickly.
Reclining Rumble: Before reclining your seat, remember to exercise patience and wait to everyone has been served drinks and food, then take a moment to glance back and assess the situation before you recline and relax.
Window Shade Wars: Controlling the window shade gives you an incredible sense of power. But if you're not keen on a shade battle, find a compromise, like "I'll open it for takeoff; you can close it during the movie."
: Socialising can be fun, but if you're not in the mood, employ the fake nap or use the defensive book as a fortress technique to deter talkative seatmates politely.
Deplaning Dances: Getting off the plane can be a synchronized dance of politeness. If you're in a rush and pushing instead, try a smooth "pardon me”.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our descent. Remember that kindness and humor can make even the longest flights more enjoyable. Embrace the quirks of air travel, be considerate of your fellow passengers, and spread laughter and goodwill. Bon voyage!
8 People 8-12 lbs.
12 People 12-18 lbs.
16 People 16-24 lbs.
8-12 LBS 2-3 DAYS
12-16 LBS 3-4 DAYS
16-18 LBS 4-5 DAYS
STUFFED/UNSTUFFED
7-10 LBS 2-3.5 HOURS
10-18 LBS 3-4.5 HOURS
18-22 LBS 3.5-5 HOURS
22-24 LBS 4-5.5 HOURS
Thanksgiving Hacks
Do a headcount, then plan.
Cook in advance what you can.
Plan two shopping trips.
Get yourself ready first.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Thanksgiving can be a very organic day to teach manners and etiquette
Pass Food Right! Don’t comment on a food you don’t like, just keep passing right
Simple starters:
Napkin on Lap
Start with outside and move inward using utensils
Remember to teach and model greetings, goodbyes and appropriate dinnertime topics
Wait for everyone to be served before starting to eat.
“Our conversation is not devoid of respect, thanks, and politeness.”
-Shaimaa Elfar International Protocol Consultant & Etiquette Trainer
Learning how to approach an amputee or a person with a limb difference can be awkward. Amputees or people with limb differences are often overlooked and not understood. Much of this is due to having yet to encounter many people with limb differences or prosthetics. For this reason, here is some insight and some simple suggestions to make when approaching a person with an amputation or a limb difference with questions and overall interactions.
It is all in the approach.
As an amputee, I encounter various curious people, from young children to adults. I have been both looked at and questioned about my missing limb. I have never been offended by anyone asking me why I have a prosthetic foot. This is due to how I have been approached and questioned. This has happened with an attitude of kindness and graciousness. The most amazing inquiries come from children. They are curious and trying to process the apparent differences between us. They question me so they can understand the mechanics of how I work.
How can I walk on something that looks like a real foot but is attached to a pole? It does not make sense to them. They are children, and they want to understand.
If the amputee is willing to discuss their prosthetic, this may be the time to ask how it works. If it is done respectfully, remember that amputees are individuals, not oddities.
It is normal to be curious. Avoid asking someone you do not know, “What happened”? This phrase might trigger emotions. It is less intrusive to ask an amputee to tell “their story.” This allows the amputee to give you as much information as they can share. It is an intimate story, regardless— approach with kindness and gentleness.
If you feel an immediate pushback from the individual, apologize for intruding. Do not assume to know that you understand their circumstance. Because, like all losses, challenges, and difficulties, unless you have suffered the same loss, you cannot fully understand. With my story, I wish I could say I have a tremendous story of heroism, like many of our war veterans who have sacrificed. My story is of a clumsy girl who fell off a ladder and shattered her ankle. After three years of trying to rebuild it and being unable to live actively, I decided to amputate my right foot. I knew I could better enjoy my life without my foot. For me, it was an easy decision.
I have received much grace as an amputee. This may not be every amputee’s experience.
We are not a label. Please, never use the word handicap, disabled, or challenged. Every individual missing a limb has had to wrestle with their own acceptance of their situation. And that is what it is, a personal situation. Please do not assume that an individual who does not have their original parts considers themselves a lesser person. Every individual has their own unique set of abilities. I have never been, nor do I ever plan to be, a runner. That is not because I am an amputee.
Running brings me NO joy! I am, however, a swimmer. And this was the primary reason for deciding to have my foot amputated so I could get back into the water. This decision enabled me to become a certified open-water scuba diver! I have been asked several times what an amputee or a person with a limb difference would want to be called. My answer to that is nothing. We are just human beings. I do not believe in labels, and my fellow amputees would probably agree with this statement.
Photo Credit: Scott Muncy
Sylviana’s Bahamas Dive!
Words hold power. For this reason, listen to the person to whom you are talking. Be aware of the language they are using to describe themselves. People with limb differences use various words to describe themselves and their bodies. I have met fellow amputees who call their residual limb a stump. They are comfortable using this term. But for me, for instance, I do not like that term! It is a limb—a far more improved limb than the one I previously had.
Finally, if an amputee makes a joke or tells a funny story regarding their lamb difference or prosthetic and they are laughing, please feel free to laugh as well! Recently, I had an opportunity to tell a funny story about losing my leg on a scuba diving trip. When I was telling this story, people were aghast … however when I got to the funny part of the story, which was about me losing my prosthetic during my first “trial” dive… the laughter began. It was truly comical! My daughter and niece had to perform a deep-water rescue. When they ascended with my prosthetic in one hand and my fin in the other, there were cheers from the rest of the divers. Unexpected accident-but hilarious.
Laughter is the most powerful tool for connection. It can break down barriers and open pathways for conversation. Do not be afraid to laugh with us. Our life with amputations “stories” are sometimes funny! Because let's face it- sometimes life can be funny and difficult all at the same wonderful time.
Sylviana is a successful entrepreneur who owns and operates a successful Mexican restaurant and catering business with her sisters. She is one of the hosts (with her sisters) of My Sister Can't Cook, a local cooking show. She is active in her Church and local Chamber of Commerce and is a wife and mom to two adult children.
Email: etiquettechics@gmail.com
Question: Should I bring a host gift to Thanksgiving?
Answer: Yes! But think simple is better in this situation. Avoid bringing items that you would add to the Thanksgiving table, as the menu is already set and the tablescape designed. Things for the host to enjoy possibly afterward, like a specialty coffee, a cutting board, an apron, a holiday novel, or even a cookbook for your foodie enthusiasts. Avoid flowers that are not already arranged or any food addition that requires additional preparation.
Question: Do different colored trick or treat pumpkins signify anything?
Answer: Yes! Here is a list of some possible meanings.
If you see a teal pumpkin lit on a porch, may mean a home with food allergies and non-food options offered. Purple is someone who may have epilepsy or autism, and pink is breast cancer awareness. Of course, a child may be carrying this color because it matches their costume or it is their favorite color. But it is always good to be aware and prepared.
From Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Cookbook.” Published in 1961
•3eggs
•1 1⁄4cups cream
•1cup sieved cooked pumpkin or 1 cup canned pumpkin
•1⁄2tablespoon cornstarch
•1⁄3cup brown sugar, packed
•2tablespoons granulated sugar
•1⁄8teaspoon cinnamon
•1⁄8teaspoon allspice
•1⁄8teaspoon ginger
•1⁄4teaspoon salt
•ground nutmeg
•Prepare a 9-inch shell unbaked.
•Preheat oven to 350°F.
•Combine eggs, cream, and pumpkin in a glass bowl.
•Blend at low speed until smooth and well mixed.
•Sift dry ingredients except for the nutmeg with pumpkin mix.
•Blend again at high speed, this time until smooth.
•Pour into the shell. Sprinkle with nutmeg.
•Bake for 30 minutes or until crust is browned and filling set. Let cook at room temp in the pan.
• Makes 6 to 8 servings.
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Editor in Chief: Susan Vernick
Creative Content Editor: Anna
Vernick
Creative Editor: Lauren Vernick
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