ETIQUETTE
Holiday 2023
Holiday Planning Calendar!
Home & Lifestyle Magazine
Decorating the Perfect 2023 Christmas Tree!
Jingle All the Way! Merry Manners Holiday Table Ideas
Conversation Etiquette Cookie and Holiday Recipes!
Gift Must-Haves of the Season!
Gluten-Free Recipes, Too!
IN THIS ISSUE Letter from Our Editor Holiday Table Inspiration The Making of the Perfect Tree! Etiquette Q & A Conversation Etiquette-The Art of Conversation Legendary Recipe and Holiday Recipes Gluten-Free Recipes
Merry Manners- An inspirational article to let your light shine! Must-Have Gifts & Favorite Things! Holiday Countdown Calendar-Helping you organize and plan!
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!
From Our Editor
It truly is the most beautiful time of year, and it can also be the most wonderfully stressful time of year. The season, in all its beauty, gathering and celebrating can also be a time that stretches and stresses us. So, we have compiled this holiday edition to help make the season of wonder genuinely wonderful, too. We have a guest feature on setting the perfect holiday table that outlines how to make this process simple and beautiful. We also have a guest feature article titled “The Art of Conversation.” which will help you navigate holiday gatherings and beyond. Our regular features will also be beneficial as we highlight our “favorite things” of the season. This list has helped me make a list and check it off twice! Looking to decorate the most amazing Christmas tree? Our friends from Balsam Hill ™ make the perfect tree simple and attainable! We’ve also included a Christmas countdown calendar to help you stay organized and ahead of that holiday list of to-dos! To offer inspiration and to always remember that kindness matters, we have an inspirationbased article titled “Merry Manners to Brighten the Season.” We can indeed provide a wonderful gift of kindness to others that surpasses any material gift we may offer! As always, we have a Q&A section, and this holiday edition is loaded with extra seasonal and glutenfree recipes to help with your baking, cooking, and entertaining.
Susan Vernick, founding editor etiquettechics@gmail.com
“Sit back with a cup
of steaming hot cocoa, possibly fireside (or with a fire and music playing on YouTube) … exhale and enjoy!
So, sit back with a steaming cup of hot cocoa, possibly a fireside (or with a fire and music playing on YouTube)…exhale, and enjoy! Happy Holidays to you and yours, and may the season be full of joy, peacefulness, and love. ~Susan
The Making of a Perfect Tree Tips and tricks to make your tree shine
Nine Easy Steps to
Decorating the Perfect Tree from our friends at Balsam Hill ™
Unique Holiday Baking Section Gluten-Free and Holiday Recipes
Gluten-free Peanut Butter Blossom • 1 ¼ Cup Brown Sugar • 1 cup peanut butter • ½ Cup butter • Two eggs (room temperature) • 2 cups all-purpose gluten-free flour • ½ teaspoon xanthan gun • 1 teaspoon baking soda • ½ t salt
• 36 Hershey kisses Cream together butter, peanut butter and brown sugar in a stand mixer until light and fluffy. Mix in the eggs one at a time until combined. well
In a separate bowl, sift together gluten-free flour, xanthan gum, baking soda and salt. Mix into the butter mixture until combined well. Cover dough with plastic wrap and refrigerate for one hour or up to 48 hours. Un-wrap Hershey kisses while dough is chilling.
Pre-heat oven to 375°F and line a baking sheet with parchment paper or silicon baking mat. Scoop 1-11/2 tablespoons of dough onto prepared baking sheets and bake for 8-10 minutes.
Place a chocolate kiss on each cookie immediately after removing the cookies from the oven. Cool for approximately five minutes on the baking sheet until finally moving to a cooling rack.
Amy Vanderbilt’s French Yule Log From Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Cookbook.” Published in 1961
INGREDIENTS 6 eggs ½ cup sugar ½ c sifted all-purpose flour 2T baking soda 2 T cognac Granulated sugar
For Frosting: 1 cup butter (or margarine) 2 egg yolks 4 cups sugar
2 (1-ounce) squares unsweetened chocolate, melted
Start oven at 375 degrees. Butter 12 X 15-inch baking sheet or jelly roll plan. Line with wax paper. Butter the paper lightly. Beat yolks and sugar together in a mixing bowl until light and fluffy. Sift flour and baking powder together into the egg mixture. Add cognac. Whip egg whites until firm peaks. Fold into yolk mixture. Spread batter on a prepared baking sheet or jelly-roll pan. Bake for about six minutes until the cake is done. Remove from oven. Immediately turn the cake out onto a towel generously sprinkled with sugar. (Editor’s note: Clean towel without use of strong detergents.) Roll the cake up with a towel and let it cool. While the cake cools, make the frosting. Beat the butter until creamy, then stir in the egg yolks. Beat in the sugar, adding a little at a time. Beat in slightly cooled melted chocolate until smooth. Once the cake as cooled, unroll the cake. Remove the towel. Spread on the cake about half the frosting, then roll the cake up firmly. Place on board or platter. Cover the top and sides with the remaining frosting. Use the frosting to draw designs resembling the surface of a log. Decorate the top with sprigs of holly. Makes 8+ servings.
Legendary
Recipes Amy Vanderbilt’s Cranberry Punch From Amy Vanderbilt's "Complete Cookbook.” Published in 1961
INGREDIENTS 2 pints bottles cranberry juice cocktail 1-quart apple juice 1 (6 ounce) can frozen lemonade 1 (6-ounce can) of frozen grape juice 6 ounces of pineapple juice Ice cubes or ice block 2- 29-ounce carbonated water 12 orange slices (halved)
DIRECTIONS Have all ingredients chilled. Pour the juice of a block of ice (or ice cubes) into a punch bowl or over ice cubes in glass pitchers. Add carbonated water. Stir gently, just enough to mix. Add orange slices. Serve at once. Makes 24 or more punch cups
In
a world that often values fast-
paced living, there's something timeless and elegant about sitting at a well-set table. Whether hosting a dinner party, celebrating a special occasion, or simply having a family meal, knowing how to set the table can make the experience more enjoyable and memorable. Here are some valuable tips to help you master the art of table setting to make some memories.
The Art of Table Setting for the Holidays
1. Start with a Clean Canvas: Ensure your table is clean and debris-free before arranging cutlery and plates. A fresh, uncluttered surface is the foundation of an appealing table setting.
By: Maria Cristina Salas de Bruzual
2. The Base Layer - Tablecloth or Placemats: Choose a tablecloth that complements your table's color and style. Alternatively, use placemats to add a touch of sophistication and protect your table from spills and stains.
3. The Main Attraction - Dinner Plates: Place the dinner plate at the center of each setting, approximately an inch from the table's edge. This provides a visually pleasing balance and ample space for dining. 4. The Left Side - Forks: Arrange the forks on the left side of the dinner plate. The smaller fork, often used for salads or appetizers, should be on the outermost side. If serving multiple courses, set forks for each course from outside.
Maria’s
Holiday Table “Remember that attention to detail and creativity can turn an ordinary meal into a memorable event.”
The Art of Table Setting for the Holidays
5. The Right Side - Knives and Spoons: On the right side of the dinner plate, place the knife with the cutting edge facing the plate, followed by the spoons. Like forks, adapt the number of knives and spoons to the courses you're serving. 6. Napkin Placement: The napkin can go on the left side, under, or to the left of the forks. You can get creative with folding napkins or use elegant rings for a touch of flair.
7. Glassware: Arrange the glasses for water and wine above the knives and spoons on the right. Typically, the water glass goes above the dinner knife, with the wine glasses to its right. For a formal setting, include separate glasses for red and white wine. 8. Preparing for Dessert: If dessert is part of the meal, add dessert forks and spoons horizontally above the dinner plate. Ensure the fork is closest to the plate. 9. Bread Plate and Butter Knife: Set a small bread plate above the forks on the left side and place a butter knife across it. Guests can use this for spreading butter or other accompaniments. 10. Centerpiece: A well-chosen centerpiece adds visual appeal to the table. It could be fresh flowers, candles, or a decorative item that doesn't obstruct views or conversation. Ensure it doesn't overwhelm the table.
11. Salt and Pepper Shakers: Place these near the center of the table for easy access. They can be positioned together or on opposite sides of the table. 12. Name Cards: If you have assigned seating, elegant name cards add a personal touch and help guests find their places. 13. Consider the Occasion: Tailor your table setting to the event’s formality. Formal dinners may require more utensils, glassware, and elaborate arrangements, while casual gatherings can be simpler. 14. Balance and Symmetry: Maintain symmetry in your table setting. Ensure that everything is evenly spaced and that the setting is visually balanced. 15. Be Creative: Don't be afraid to infuse your unique style into the table setting. Experiment with colors, patterns, and decorative elements to reflect your personality and the occasion's theme. Setting the table is an art that elevates the dining experience. Following these tips, you can create an inviting and visually appealing table for any occasion, from family meals to special celebrations. Remember that attention to detail and creativity can turn an ordinary meal into a memorable event. So, set the stage for a dining experience that delights the senses.
Maria is a table-setting enthusiast. From selecting the perfect linens to crafting unique centerpieces, her strength is a tale of transforming ordinary gatherings into extraordinary events and making memories. With an eye for detail and a commitment to creating memorable atmospheres, Maria thrives on making every dining experience an artful celebration. She teaches table-setting classes and designs for events. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her husband of 34 years and her three beautiful daughters.
*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases*
The Art of Conversation
By: Suzy Lins
I was at Home Depot with my husband recently, and I left him alone in the gardening department
ADDITIONAL TIPS:
for just a few minutes. When I returned, he was having an
Introducing Yourself: How you present
in-depth conversation with what seemed to be his new best
yourself will depend on the type of
friend – (someone he had just met!) My husband is a bit of
event or situation. Providing context in
an extrovert and loves to chat it up with people wherever
an introduction opens it up for a
he goes. On the other hand, I am more reserved, maybe
conversation. Here are some examples:
even a bit of an introvert. Yes, I know how to converse with
Business: Hello, I’m Suzy Lins with XYZ
people; it just doesn’t come as naturally to me as it does to
Company.
my husband. Over the years, I’ve developed skills to help
Social/Wedding: I’m Suzy Lins, and the
with the art of conversation and small talk, hoping it helps
bride is my niece. How do you know
throughout the year, especially at those many holiday
the
gatherings.
bride and groom?
Generic: “Hello, I’m Suzy Lins; how are
Many of us feel nervous or awkward walking up to someone to make an introduction. Here’s a trick to help you feel less self-conscious when approaching someone. Act as if you are the host, focusing on the other person’s comfort. This takes the focus off you and your nerves and
onto them.
you?”
Conversation Etiquette-The Art of Conversation Giving context with your introduction invites the other person to start a conversation. Before heading to an event, think about how you will introduce yourself. By preparing in advance, you will be confident
as you enter the event.
Forgot a name? I wish we all walked through life wearing name tags. It would make it so much easier! Here are some ways to help remember the name of someone you have just met.
Follow Up Questions There’s a saying that we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. The key to being a good conversationalist is being a good listener. Here are some phrases you can use that will make you come off as a great
•
Use their name right away in conversation.
•
Introduce them to someone to help reinforce their name in your memory.
conversationalist with minimal effort. Remember,
these only work if you’re listening. When someone is talking, you can respond with follow-up questions like:
•
At a business event, ask for their business card.
•
•
“I see what you mean.”
If all else fails, fess up and say, “Can you please
•
“Tell me more.”
remind me of your name?”
•
“How interesting.”
Conversation Starters
•
“Hmmm…”
It’s good to have some conversation starters in mind
•
“I see”
before you go to an event. These will be slightly different
for a business event vs. a social event. When you start with some basics, the the conversation will flow from there.
You can do is nod your head a few times. This
indicates to the person speaking that you are listening and encouraging them to continue. Who doesn’t love encouragement to continue talking? They will walk
Ideas for a business event:
away from the conversation feeling validated and
•
optimistic.
Have you been to this networking event before?”
•
“Is this your first time at one of these events?”
•
“What line of work are you in?”
•
“What is your role at ABC Company?”
Ideas for a social event: •
“How do you know the host?”
•
“This is a beautiful venue. Have you been here before?”
The Art of Conversation
Small Talk
Ending A Conversation
Some would say small talk is silly or unnecessary, but
There is a bit of an art to ending a conversation.
it’s one of the building blocks of a more meaningful
To avoid monopolizing someone’s time at an
conversation. You won’t jump into a serious
event, you should be mindful of how much time
discussion when meeting someone. Having some
you spend with them. If you’re not one to think
topics in mind will allow the conversation to flow
on your feet, have phrases in your mind ready to
easily. One of the keys to small talk is to be informed
go. Here are some suggestions for ending a
about current events and things going on in your
conversation:
community. A few ideas to discuss are sports, the
•
“It’s been nice meeting you.”
arts, a new restaurant in town, or ask them if they’ve
•
“I’ve enjoyed our conversation; I’m going to
traveled recently. Also, people enjoy and often feel
refresh my drink.”
comfortable talking about themselves, so ask
•
“I’m going to say Hello to the host.”
questions.
•
“Can I get your card before we part ways?”
Topics to avoid.
As you can see, there is a bit of a theme here to be a good conversationalist: Preparation. By
Avoid discussing personal issues such as finances,
having simple topics and phrases in mind for
health, family, or relationships. Save those topics for
each part of a conversation, you will be more
close friends. Avoid discussing religion or politics.
confident and poised, even if you’re just at Home
People typically hold strong positions on these topics,
Depot chatting it up with a fellow shopper.
and you won’t change their minds. Plus, you run the risk of offending them. Also, refrain from discussing money. This includes salaries as well as the cost of things. Not everyone is comfortable discussing this, so save those topics for your closest circle, if at all.
Suzy Lins is a certified etiquette trainer specializing in Business and Social Etiquette and the art and history of afternoon tea. She is also an adjunct professor at Fullerton College, teaching Business Etiquette.
Holiday Planner Seven Week Planner
Seven weeks Before: Begin planning and organizing. Make menu plans, compile gift lists, plan holiday photos, order cards, and buy tickets for upcoming holiday performances/events.
Six Weeks-Plan menus for dinners, baking, and Christmas/New Year’s morning.
Five Weeks: Order cards, design digital cards, order stamps, and have addresses and address labels organized and ready. Begin decorating if you are a beforeThanksgiving kind of celebrator!
Four Weeks: Enjoy the Thanksgiving Season and pause for a season of thankfulness. Shop on Black Friday if you choose, but it’s unnecessary, with cyber deals everywhere. Consider shopping small businesses on small business Saturday! Start decorating!
Three Weeks: Finish all decorating so you have time to enjoy!
Two Weeks: Finish Shopping and begin wrapping.
One Week: All wrapping finished, and religious services bake items for the season to avoid storage. (If you have baking storage and freezing down to a science, bake way before the season begins.
Day Before: Sit back with a cup of cocoa, enjoy religious services, and be ready for Santa and Rudolph to visit!
*This calendar is for a traditionally celebrated Christmas Day; certainly, adjust to your family’s traditions and religious observances such as Hanukah, Kwanza, and others.
Quote of The Month
“Etiquette is not old-fashioned; it is fashionforward.” Etiquette Chics • “
Merry Manners to Brighten the Season The
holiday season is fully upon us with all its celebrating, shopping, eating, and merriment. Whether it’s a family dinner, holiday celebration, or concert -good manners and proper etiquette are most certainly welcomed guests. Maybe we are to enjoy the beautiful Christmas decorations and lights and be a light. “In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” during the season (Matt. 5:16). Something as simple as a kind word, a courteous gesture, or good manners can offer encouragement and kindness. So, curl up with a cup of hot cocoa; here are some merry manners to brighten the season.
Retail Etiquette Treat salespeople and cashiers respectfully, especially if they are not having a great day. Always say “hello,” “please,” and “thank you;” this sometimes is all that is needed to offer a little encouragement. Try your best to do this, regardless of how much you have on your plate or how hurried you may be. End with a “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays.” Sometimes, kind small talk opens doors to share nuggets of God’s love. These are nice ways to brighten someone’s day and make kindness contagious.
Some additional tips: •
Do not hold salespeople responsible for issues beyond their control, such as pricing or out-of-stock items.
•
Have your rewards card, checkbook, debit, or credit card ready—as well as any coupons—when you approach the register. This helps avoid delays and keeps those customers behind you happy as well.
•
Try to avoid talking on the phone when paying for a purchase. Indeed, this is unavoidable at times, but do your very best to abide by this simple guideline.
•
For salons and spas, be on time…always. If you need to cancel, do so 24 hours in advance (unless in the case of an illness). Canceling may cause your hairdresser/stylist/ to lose money. Sometimes, it is unavoidable, but do your best to avoid cancellations.
Merry Manners
Mind Your Manners Always say “thank you” when you receive a gift, even if you do not particularly care for the item. You are thanking the giver for their effort, generosity, and thoughtfulness. •
Dining etiquette should be a welcome guest of honor at your dinner table or event. Review proper mealtime etiquette before attending dinner events.
•
Be courteous at holiday musicals or theatrical events. Keep phones off for the event so that others can enjoy the sounds and sights of the season.
•
Don’t be a Scrooge; be a pleasant guest. Be a low-maintenance guest by bringing a simple hostess gift that requires no preparation. Help with cleanup if the situation lends itself. If the host insists you enjoy yourself without help, please abide by their request. Be aware of how long you are staying and try not to overstay your welcome. If you are a weekend guest at a friend or relative’s home, a simple gift, such as the newest bestselling book or monogrammed hand towels, is a nice gesture. Also, help tidy up and keep your “room” in order: bed made; floors cleared. Finally, remember to thank your hostess.
If your pet is traveling with you for the holidays or other seasonal activities, please pick up after them and keep them under control, especially if small children are around. If your pet is not great with friends like Dasher, Dancer, and Prancer, and you know there will be many furry friends, then maybe this is when you pass on bringing them. If you are a houseguest and your hosts invite Fido, then know the house rules ahead of time, such as if pets are allowed on the furniture. These simple gestures may not lead to directly sharing the gospel, but they cause others to pause and take notice of your kind spirit, which is always a good springboard for deeper relationships and conversations.
Christmas Cards Sending a card, even an e-card, is a lovely gesture—a warm message with a couple of pictures from the last year, perhaps with a Scripture verse. Steer clear of 1,000-word newsletters with 100 quarter-size photos of barely visible people and events. Aim for simple and heartfelt, inviting everyone to smile along with you.
Merry Manners
Invite and Share Share the joy and love of the Christmas message. Invite those in your circle into your home and even to local celebratory events. Maybe even invite children in your neighborhood to your church’s Christmas play. Write a simple Scripture or word of encouragement on a gift or cookies you are delivering. Pray during the season that God opens doors for you to share the good news of the season and offer love and encouragement. Let the celebration of the season begin with a Santa-sized dose of etiquette so you can enjoy all those fun-filled events while staying on the road to success. Let us always remember that we are the light in a dark world, and we are to share the love of Jesus all during the year, but especially during the awe and wonder of the Christmas season.
EtiQuette Q & A
Questions for our next publication? Email: etiquettechics@gmail.com
Question: We have family visiting and staying with us over the holidays. They are very early risers, and we tend to sleep in (at least by their standards!) How can I make mornings feel hospitable even if we are not yet up? Answer: Consider having a breakfast tray ready for them with items such
as bagels, muffins, and fruit such as bananas, pears, and apples. Also, have coffee made and prepared to push a button with a note sharing all these details. Have coffee creamer and bagel spread on a tray in the refrigerator. Share all this before you turn in for the evening. The note will reinforce all this information, where you insist that they start once they awaken for the day. No one will feel any pressure, and their mornings will start right!
Question: Are “thank you” notes necessary for a holiday/Christmas gift? Answer: This is a more tricky area of “thank you” notes. We believe that “thank you "notes are necessary and should not be overlooked. But, during the season of giving, if you are with the person and exchanging gifts with each other, this may be the only exception. If you
properly thank them, exchange gifts, and enjoy the season of giving with them, this is the only exception. Certainly, sending one then too, is lovely, but not absolutely necessary.
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Article submission: Contact Susan at susanvernick@yahoo.com
Editor in Chief: Susan Vernick Creative Content Editor: Anna Vernick Creative Editor: Lauren Vernick An Etiquette Chics Publication © 2023 All content is copyrighted.
