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BLOODLETTING Johnette Naplitao, singer and founder of the band Concrete Blonde is touring as a solo artist to begin 2014. With tons of alt-rcok favorites on modern rock radio like “God is A Bullet”, Joey”, Still in Hollywood” and more she will be in Chattanooga Thursday January 9. She will be performing at Rhythm and Brews downtown.

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ALL MY ROWDY FRIENDS “All My Friends: Celebrating the Songs and Voice of Gregg Allman” will take place Friday, January 10 at the Fox Theatre in Atlana. It will be a who’s who of someof the greatest musical artist around along including a performance by the Allman Brothers.

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THANKS TONY Matt Ryan’s first and last comple- turned out to be something more honestly. And I like I told you guys tion Sunday at the Georgia Dome than I ever thought and more than before, when I first got in the went to Tony Gonzalez. Despite a I ever dreamed. It’s been an unbe- league, looking ahead… it’s humvaliant effort by the Atlanta Falcons, the legendary tight end’s last game goes down in the books as a loss as the Carolina Panthers held on tightly for a 21-20 win ending the 2013 season and closing the book on Gonzalez’s storied 17-year career. Tony Gonzalez will go down in history as the most decorated, most mobile and athletic player to line up as tight end. Second all time in NFL history in career catches to only Jerry Rice the Falcons tight end rewrote the book on not only how to play the position h also redefined it. Before Gonzalez a tight end pretty much was an additional blocker who would on occasion catch passes. That is now forever changed. In fact Gonzalez was a game changer, safety blanket and team leader. “It was great. Honestly, it went exactly as I thought it would go, except the winning part. We weren’t able to pull it out. The pre-game, during the game; I’m so flattered and so thankful that I’ve been able to be a part of this organization for the last five years, and obviously the 12 years before that in Kansas City. My career it’s

like Tony Richardson, Jason Dunn, Trent Green. The list goes on and on. The coaches, Coach Vermeil, Coach Shottenheimer, when I first came in, and to end it with these guys, Roddy (White), Matt (Ryan) and Coach Smith and Thomas Dimitroff bringing me over here. I look back at myself and I say; what did I do to deserve this? Somebody pinch me because it’s been a blast. It’s like a dream and I’m thankful for it,” said Gonzalez.

I’ve been working the Falcons beat since the 2000 season. I’ve been a fan since the days of Norm Van Brocklin (thus showing my age). I am probably the original pro football junkie having literally grown up watching and playing the game. My dad was rumored to be on the New York Giants taxi squad in the early ‘50s and he knew everyone in the league. It wasn’t as big a deal then as it is now. I remember him telling me about bringing me to meet Joe Namath when I was a toddler. Broadway Joe told him I had “hands of a quarterback” – supposedly. When we moved to Chattanooga, TN my dad would take me to the games and offer to bring me into the Atlanta Falcons locker room and meet his pal Dick lievable ride. It’s amazing. I’m still bling. I’m just so lucky to be sur- Shiner. Shiner was a backup quarlooking back and saying; I can’t rounded by such good people. The terback and punter for the team. I believe this has happened to me, teammates that I’ve had, people was criminally shy and turned

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down his numerous offers. Having grown up knowing the history of the franchise I think I bring a different perspective from the traditional beat writer or photographer.

ous times (even during his rookie season when he took over for an injured Drew Bledsoe, Randy Moss, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb, Jason Taylor, Drew Brees (both as a Charger and a Saint), Philip Rivers, Seeing that I was and am an NFL Eli Manning – and the list goes on junkie I know who is who on a and on. majority of rosters over the years having being glued to the TV every I have infamous pictures of NFL Sunday and Monday evening for busts like Ryan Leaf who almost decades. So when I started to went before Peyton Manning in the cover the Falcons I knew as a pho- draft, pictures of the play Michael tographer “who” I wanted pictures Vick’s ankle was broken, I have a of. I made a virtual wish list of file of pictures of fired NFL coachwhom I wanted to capture on film es – this season alone I added Greg (now digital). Names popped in my Schiano and Mike Shanahan. I was head of the likes of Brett Favre, at the infamous Monday night game Jerry Rice, Tim Brown (I’m also a when Bobby Petrino resigned as Notre Dame follower), Emmitt Falcons coach leaving notes in the Smith, Warren Sapp, Peyton player’s lockers. I’ve witnessed a Manning, Kurt Warner, Terrell lot in this gig. And to be quite honOwens (we went to the same col- est don’t ever want to give it up (if lege) and of course Tony Gonzalez Matt and Brian are reading this). just to name a few. The last game of my first year covEvery game I attended I scoured ering the Falcons was a game the roster for names I recognized against the Kansas City Chiefs. On or from college programs which the roster that day was Tony rich NFL histories. My photography Gonzalez. Gonzalez was only in his tries to tell the story of the game. third season but already made a In between the storyline pictures I name for himself. The only other would focus on the “names” I want- significant fact about that game is ed in my photo catalog. Over the that it was future Hall of Fame years I managed to get not only quarterback Warren Moon’s last those listed, but Tom Brady numer- game. The crowd cheered for

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Moon but the Chief’s coach Gunther Cunningham didn’t see fit to let Moon take at least one token snap in his last game on an NFL roster.

two teams come together to shake hands and share admiration Gonzalez probably shakes more hands, pats on the back and hugs than most players involved.

Fast forward to the off-season after the surprising 2008 Falcons who went from last place in the 2007 draft to an 11-win season under rookie head coach Mike Smith and rookie third overall pick in the draft Matt Ryan. Both Roddy White and Michael Jenkins blossomed as dangerous receivers that year but something was missing. The team was young and a little unstable at times in the passing game. Atlanta took care of that by trading for Gonzalez who was blazing unheard of trails as a tight end but was stuck on a perennial loser. This might be Tony’s chance to finally get a ring and provide some maturity to help the young quarterback.

And despite all this good will towards Gonzalez watching him play is a deeply religious experience. Hands of glue, in traffic, double-teamed, across the middle, along the sideline, jumping high in the air pulling down passes out of thin air. And then there was his trademark dunk over the goalpost when he scored. Gonzalez added to the Falcons what was truly needed, leadership, physicality and inspiration.

Since joining the Falcons beginning with the 2009 season Gonzalez became Matt Ryan’s safety net. Tony was like the big older uncle who was able to clear up any confusion and make things better. Until this unfortunate season the Falcons for the first time not only had back-to-back winning seasons they had five in a row until injuries depleted the ranks early this season. If a catch needed to be made Gonzalez found the ball or the ball found him. With the big tight end on the roster Matt Ryan’s maturity as a passer and team leader grew with each passing game. And now after six seasons Ryan is already the franchise’s leader in passing yards and touchdowns.

This was to be “Tony’s Year” after falling ten yards shourt of the Super Bowl last season. Things did not work out. They fell apart. Too many injuries all at one time and acquisitions acquired to fill holes did not pan out. It was obvious by midseason that the Falcons were no way headed to the playoffs. Did Gonzalez grumble? No, he played harder. Despite rumors of him being traded to a contender he dismissed them and said he wanted to finish up here.

“I can’t thank Tony Gonzalez enough for what he has brought to the Atlanta Falcons organization. He has been a great teammate, a great player and a great mentor to a lot of men that are going to play the game moving forward. There are a lot of lessons you can learn from Tony Gonzalez just by watching him. It has been a pleasure and an honor to have the opportunity to coach, in my opinion, the greatTony Gonzalez during his career est tight end to every play the exemplified everything that is good game,” said Falcons coach Mike about pro football and set stan- Smith. dards well above everyone around him. Sane, sober, a family man Five years from now he’ll be who was a health beast, always inducted into the Hall of Fame positive and not only a team (unless he changes his mind about leader, he was and is also a role retirement). When he does, I hope model. Gonzalez if one of those he considers going in the Hall a very few guys that others weren’t Falcon. jealous of him for his success, they wanted to be like him – and liked - Dave Weinthal by him. After every game when the

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MONEY MANAGEMENT

ALL ABOUT THE EARNED INCOME CREDIT LIMITATIONS, AMOUNTS, AND THRESHOLDS The Earned Income Credit also known as the EIC credit is an amazing federal tax credit for the public. The credit is income based and helps low and medium income families out tremendously. The credit is a strategic economic move from the government to motivate the American people to work. The credit is only for EARNED income which means the tax payer with dependents must have income from a job or self employment in order to receive the credit. Unemployment or any other UNEARNED income does not count for this credit. Therefore, the credit was put in motion to encourage working. The EIC credit has thresholds and maximums, limitations, and is strategic to our

countries economy. The EIC has thresholds and maximums. If one has no kids then the earned income credit can be received if that person makes less than $14,340 (Joint $19,680). The maximum credit refundable is $487. If one has one dependent (under 17 years old) then they must make less than $37,870 (Joint $43,210). The maximum credit for them would be $3,250. One with two dependents that make less than $43,038 (Joint $48,378) would receive a maximum of $5,372. One with three or more dependents and make less than threshold $46,227 (Joint $51,567) would receive a maximum of $6,044. The amount that is given depends on your earned income. Think of the amount given as a bell

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shaped curve. The less you make the less you get. Then the maximum is received around the median, then the amount decreases as you get towards the threshold amount.

you cannot be a qualifying child of somebody else a.k.a. nobody can claim you.

The EIC credit has a few limitations. First, you must be either Married filing Joint (MFJ), Head of Household (HOH), Qualifying Widow, or Single. You may not get the credit if you are Married filing single. The IRS discourages MFS for economic reasons. Second, dependents must be under 18 (17 in tax year) or be a full time student up to 24 years old. Third, household members must have a valid social security number. Fourth, you must be a U.S. citizen. Fifth, you must have earned income. Last,

The strategic economics of the EIC credit. The reason (besides motivating work) for the EIC credit is it helps low to medium income families. It gives them a huge tax break and pretty much always results in a refund. The EIC credit is a economic strategy that promotes the U.S. economy. The economy not only flourishes with the money that the tax payer spends, but also promotes work which boosts the economy.

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These requirements are set in stone and there is no going around them.

- Andrew Almeida


ARIES (Mar. 21- April 20) Hard work will not go unnoticed. Do something constructive outside. Try to do your job and then leave. Opportunities to get together with friends will be enlightening and entertaining. Your lucky day this week will be Thursday. TAURUS (Apr. 21- May 21) Your changing philosophies may lead you into new circles and open doors that will give you a unique outlook on life. Ease the anguish by offering assistance. A little volleyball or other outdoor sports should be on your agenda. Over spending or unexpected bills could set you back.

voice your opinions. Your lucky day this week will be Tuesday. LEO (July 23-Aug 22) You can make new friends who could turn into intimate connections if you join clubs or take creative courses. Emotional partnerships may develop through projects you initiate. If you’ve taken on a lot of work, be sure to leave some time for yourself and family. Uncertainties about your living arrangements may be unnerving. Your lucky day this week will be Tuesday.

VIRGO (Aug. 23 -Sept. 23) Deal with the needs of children. Your lucky day this week will be Watch for empty promises that may give you false hope. Opportunities Friday. will unfold; however, you must be willing to pay the price. Don’t push GEMINI your mate if you want to keep this (May 22-June 21) Emotional deception is evident. union going. Emotionally, things may not run so smoothly. Opportunities to get Your lucky day this week will be ahead will be evident. Take time to Tuesday. catch up on overdue corresponLIBRA dence. (Sept. 24 -Oct. 23) Your lucky day this week will be Remain calm and you’ll shine. Passion should be your goal. Stick Saturday. to your own projects and by the end of the day you’ll shine. CANCER Concentrate on work or make (June 22-July 22) This day was meant for love. Make changes to yourself. Work on legitcreative changes to your residence. imate financial deals that may Be creative in your pursuits. You enable you to bring in some extra may want to take a look at the per- cash. sonal papers of elders in your family. You can get support from Your lucky day this week will be groups that you belong to if you’re Friday. willing to step out on a limb and ENIGMA

SCORPIO (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22) You can make some favorable changes to your looks. Loss is evident if you don’t consider all the angles. Job changes are in order. Go for interviews or send out resumes. You may find that your anger stems from lending or borrowing money.

ble relationship. Your lucky day this week will be Friday.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 21 -Feb. 19) Unexpected bills will leave you a little short. Sign up for seminars that will expand your business awareness. Minor accidents could Your lucky day this week will be occur if you don’t take precauSunday. tions. Your health may have suffered due to neglect or abuse. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23 -Dec. 21) Your lucky day this week will be Feeling under the weather may be Friday. a result of overindulgence. Someone you like may be receptive PISCES and actively seeking your compa- (Feb. 20-Mar. 20) ny. Get involved in creative groups. You are best to work behind the Risks will not be profitable. scenes on projects that require detail or precision. Be prepared to Your lucky day this week will be meet new lovers through colSaturday. leagues. Exhaustion combined with overindulgence could result in CAPRICORN minor health problems. Your per(Dec 22.- Jan. 20) sonal life will be disrupted if you You may find that you’re being have been too busy with business. used. A trip to visit relatives should be rewarding. Take a look at Your lucky day this week will be investment opportunities. Social Thursday. events will lead to a strong and sta-

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Much Ado About Nothing

When we all look back on 2013, I’m sure we’ll remember it as the year Phil Robertson was wrongfully suspended from “Duck Dynasty” for just speaking his mind in that GQ interview. (Among other things, Robertson equated homosexuality with bestiality.) But seriously, folks, the amount of attention people pay to insignificant events has become simply mindnumbing. I’m not a fan of the “reality television” show about the long-bearded duck call millionaires, but a lot of people must be. The bayou-based show is the strongest ratings performer on the A&E net-

work. The “DD” Christmas special drew over nine million viewers, but legions of fans are threatening to boycott A&E to protest the net’s suspension of the show’s patriarch... ...Politicians are tossing in their (often ill-informed) opinions on the matter. Facebook, Twitter and other social media have been swamped with posts and tweets about the controversy. It’s truly a sad commentary on what really matters to people these days. “One of the first thing you have to conclude about this story is how ridiculous our political discourse in

this country has become,” says Robert Thompson, director of the Bleier Center for Television & Popular Culture at Syracuse University…

…There is obviously some precedent to A&E’s decision. MSNBC cancelled Alec Baldwin’s short-lived primetime talk show after his use of gay slurs. (Why the network awarded a talk show to such a deluded nutjob is another matter entirely.) The Food Network ended its longstanding relationship with celebrity chef Paula Deen after her racist comments were made public. But the backlash against A&E’s decision has been huge. Cracker Barrel Country Stores briefly pulled “Duck Dynasty” merchandise from its stores’ shelves, but reversed that decision after being swamped with protests on social media… …In a sense, we can blame all of this on the 2007-8 Writers Guild of America strike. When the film, television and radio writers’ union halted work in an effort to gain more compensation in comparison to studio profits, “reality television” shows took off. The

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industry term for such programming is “unscripted programming,” despite the fact that virtually all of these shows steer the “stars” into situations and discussions designed to create (relatively) interesting dialogue. It is exponentially cheaper for networks to churn out a seemingly endless array of unscripted series than it is to pay writers, actors, set designers, prop folks, etc. to work on more traditional dramas and comedies. And reality “stars” don’t get residuals… …I tried to explain “Duck Dynasty” to my father, who has never watched it… and probably never will. “It’s kind of like the Beverly Hillbillies,” I said, “if the Clampetts had never moved to Beverly.” (Sorry if that ancient pop culture reference makes no sense to our younger readers.) Lots of people enjoy “rags to riches” stories, I guess. I don’t get the immense popularity of the Louisiana duck call magnates, but I’m not really in the “Duck Dynasty” target demographic. And the Phil Robertson controversy has proven that the show’s tar-


be angry with her but I just feel sorry for her. I miss her friendship. I think we could just forget about what happened and be friends again. Should I confront her and talk it out? PW

DDeeaarr PP W W HHeellll yy eeaahh ccoo nnffrroonntt tthhee cchheeaatt iinn gg whhoo rree aanndd sseett hheerr sstt rraaiigghhtt.. IIff sshhee w iiss ssttiillll aa bbaacckk ssttaabbbbiinngg bbiittcchh tthheenn II ddoonn ’’tt tthhiinn kk yyoo uu nn eeeedd hheerr ffrriieennddsshhiipp..

Dear Rocco, I love my wife, but she can’t cook to save her life. Her idea of cooking involves turning the burner on high and leaving a piece of meat in there until it resembles leather and is just as tough. She is constantly watching these cooking shows on TV and buys these gourmet magazines when she goes to the store, but none of the stuff she reads of sees seems to rub off on her. Her cooking is killing me – literally. She’s a good person and all

that, but how do I get her to either turn the cooking duties over to me or actually get lessons without hurting her feelings. LB

DDeeaarr LLBB ““SS uurrpp rriissee”” hheerr bbyy ccoooo kkiinngg ddiinnnn eerr ffoorr hheerr… …aass m muucc hh aass ppoossssiibbllee.. Dear Rocco, I recently had a falling out with a friend. She has been married for nine years with three children and became involved with another man. She confided in me and I thought I was being a good listener and friend. She had her first job working in a bar and got a lot of attention from the men there. I could understand how it could have happened. Her husband suspected her infidelity and moved out. I met with and spoke to the man she was seeing and told him to end the relationship. I didn’t say anything to her husband. She hasn’t really spoken to me since. I called her and told her I was trying to be a good friend. She says she’s not mad but when I see her at bowling once a week, she refuses to talk to me. She is back with her husband. I heard that she is now spreading cruel rumors about me. My other friends and family say I should ENIGMA

Dear Rocco, I am 34 years old and have been an introvert all my life. I simply feel more comfortable to talking to some people and tend to clam up around others. Since I have this shyness and insecurity, people sometimes think I act like a snob. I feel bad about this and have few friends. Some people have told me I have a phony smile. It is bothering me that people I meet are getting the wrong impression. I want to make more friends. Help! BG

oopp eenn uupp ttoo ppeeooppllee.. Dear Rocco, I have a boyfriend who barely talks to me. We never see each other and he never e-mails me. It’s like he’s ignoring me for some reason. I don’t know what to do. A lot of my friends say that he doesn’t like me but I don’t believe them. What do you think I should do? Do you think I should dump him? SM

DDeeaarr SSM M AA rree yy oo uu ssuu rree hhee iiss yyoo uurr bboo yyffrriieenn dd?? YYeeaahh dduum mpp hhiiss aassss aanndd ffiinn dd ssoom meeoonnee w whhoo rreeaallllyy lliikkeess yyoo uu..

Rocco is a common sense, tell-itlike-it-is, no-nonsense kind of guy offering real advice on any subject put before him. Why pay thousands of dollars on a highpriced therapist when he’ll straighten you out for free. If you’d like advice from Rocco email him at goaskrocco@yahoo.com or drop him a line at Ask Rocco c/o Deeaarr BB GG D Enigma P.O. Box 825 IItt ’’ss aa nneew w yyeeaarr;; ttiim mee ffoorr aa nneew w Chattanooga, TN 37401. ssttaarrtt.. M M aakkee aa cc oonnsscciioouuss eeff ffoorrtt ttoo

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PUIGPUNYENT, Spain - A Spanish brewery said it is honoring those facing a “hard Christmas” with its latest limited-edition brew, dubbed Satan Klaus. The Cas Cerveser brewery in Puigpunyent, on the island of Majorca, said Satan Claus is a pumpkin beer containing cloves, cinnamon and nutmeg with a 6.6 percent alcohol content, TheLocal.es

they arrested a man accused of repeatedly punching his mother in the face because he was angry about a Christmas ornament. The Allegan County Sheriff’s Office said deputies responded to a 911 call from a Casco Township home early Saturday and determined Lewis Atwood, 33, had attacked his mother because their Christmas tree had an ornament with his CASCO TOWNSHIP, Mich. - brother’s name but didn’t have Authorities in Michigan said one bearing his own name, reported Thursday. “The name Satan Klaus honors the fact this is going to be a hard Christmas for many people,” said Chelo Morey, who runs Cas Cerveser with her husband. “These are lean years, and our seasonal beer is a little diabolical.” Morey said the supply of the beer is limited, with only 13 gallons produced.

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WZZM-TV, Grand Rapids, Mich., reported Thursday. “He had punched his mother four or five times, she suffered a bloody nose, had a cut lip,” sheriff’s Capt. Frank Baker said. “They were decorating the Christmas tree, he had found that there was only an ornament with his brother’s name and not one with his on it, which upset him.” Baker said Atwood was drunk at the time


of the incident, which was witnessed by his girlfriend and his brother. Atwood was charged with misdemeanor domestic assault. His mother suffered only minor injuries, the sheriff’s office said. OKLAHOMA - An Oklahoma resident was dreaming of a green Christmas but ended up spending a bit of time behind bars after a special task force in Pottawatomie County found $600,000 worth of marijuana stashed in his mobile home. Authorities say 48-year-old Floyd Wren showed up in the middle of the sting operation and told deputies it was simply a misunderstanding. Apparently Floyd never learned that simply denying everything only works on women. He allegedly admitted to being a “bad Santa” and growing the weed for Christmas presents. In fact, Wren said he had been out delivering the merry marijuana and had just come back to restock. The Pottawatomie County Sheriff said, “My deputies said he was the ‘Green Santa.’ He was out delivering marijuana Christmas gifts.” Wren was arrested and charged with cultivation, possession and distribution of marijuana.

The task force also seized guns and hundreds of dollars in cash. Authorities say they plan to burn the weed to make sure all of it is destroyed. Most likely in thousands of small, individual fires.

events more jolly. “SantaCon has had growing pains,” the organizers wrote on the event’s website. “With a little elbowgrease from the elves, a little patience from the community, and just a pinch of holiday magic, SantaCon can spread NEW YORK - New York police joy.” confirmed officers were alerted to a weekend brawl in HAMIOTA, Manitoba - A which eight to 10 Santas duked Manitoba woman said her son it out on a snowy city sidewalk. was born into her pant leg Police said a caller about 8:20 while she and her fiance were p.m. Saturday reported a street attempting to make the hour fight involving several men in and a half drive to the hospital. Santa Claus costumes during Aimee Renard, 24, said she and SantaCon, an international bar her fiance, Jay Goleski, were crawl that took place in hun- visiting her father in Hamiota, dreds of cities, CNN reported Manitoba, and staff at the nearMonday. The not-so-jolly old by Hamiota health center told elves had left by the time offi- her to make the drive to a hoscers arrived and there were no pital in Brandon when her assault complaints linked to water broke, the Canadian the incident, which was partial- Broadcasting Corp. reported ly caught on video, police Sgt. Tuesday. However, Renard said Lee Jones said. Police it was only about 40 minutes Commissioner Ray Kelly said before baby Jaxyn insisted on Friday officials had no plan to entering the world. “I just startattempt to stop SantaCon ed taking deep breaths and as despite problems with drunken time went on, it was like, OK, rowdiness in previous years. the baby’s head is there. So like “It’s what makes New York New I have to push,” Renard said. York,” he said. “There has been “And [Jay’s] like, ‘no don’t.’ I some rowdy activity by a small told him to stop the truck. And handful of people.” SantaCon as he was stopping the truck, I NYC organizers said online they pushed out the baby.” Renard were working to make future said she felt the infant slip into

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the leg of her sweatpants and the parents then heard a cry. “It was kind of terrifying,” Renard said. “But it was pretty exciting, I guess. I just pulled down my pants a little bit. And took him out. And the cord was wrapped around his neck. So Jay unwrapped the cord from his neck.” An ambulance soon arrived to take the mother and newborn the rest of the way to the hospital, where they were said to be doing well. ILLINOIS - An Illinois woman is accused of putting rat poison in her ex-boyfriend’s coffee filters and urinating in his mouthwash after he evicted her from his home. Amanda Pollard, 28, was evicted by Joshua Brewster, and when she returned days later to gather some of her belongings she threatened to burn the house down with him in it. Brewer asked a friend to check if Pollard was still inside the home, and when he arrived he said he found Pollard cutting the electric cord of a blanket. The friend called police after he discovered the rat poison. Pollard, who told police she was ‘hurt and angry,’ faces charges that include felony tampering with food and criminal damage to property.


UPPCC O U OM M IIN NG G EEVVEEN NTTSS

This week’s calendar covers events from Thursday, January 2, through Wednesday, January 8. We would be happy to publish your free listing in future Billboards, space permitting. Simply mail us the information so that we have it 7 days before the publication date. A photograph may be sent with the announcement. Send information to: Calendar Editor, Enigma, P.O. Box 825, Chattanooga, TN 37401 or e-mail to calendar@enigmaonline.com. All dates subject to change without notice.

TTH HU URRSSD DA AYY JJaannuu aarryy 22 CCO OM MEED DYY CCA A TTCCH H Michael Mack, Michael Speenburg BBU UD D’’SS DJ Hammer TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA A VVEERRN N Songwriters Showcase SSII N NG G II TT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke VVA AU UD DEEVVII LLLL EE CCA A FFEE “Mystery at the TV Talk Show” BBA A RRTT’’SS LLA AK K EESS H HO ORREE Open Mic CCA AM MPP H HO OU USS EE Open Mic SSK K YYZZO OO O Karaoke ARR II’’SS H A HA ARR BBO ORR LL IIG GH HTTSS Keyz Brown LLO OSS RR EEYYEESS (( Ringgold) Thirsty Thursdays w/ DJ Scubasteve SSU UG GA A RR’’SS The Loop

FFRRII D DA AYY JJ aannuuaa rryy 33 CCO OM MEED DYY CCA A TTCCH H Michael Mack, Michael Speenburg RRH HYYTT H HM M && BBRR EEW WSS Slippery When Wet SSII N NG G II TT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke BBA A RRTT’’SS LLA AK K EESS H HO ORREE DJ E VVA AU UD DEEVVII LLLL EE CCA A FFEE “Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding” TTH HEE PP A ALL M MSS DJ TTH HEE TTA A VVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment BBEEEEFF O O’’BBRRA AD DYY’’SS (Ooltewah) Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment SSU UG GA A RR’’SS Skin Deep TT--BB O ON NEE’’SS Nathan Farrow Band TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA A VVEERRN N Hannah Thomas

SSA ATTU U RRD DA AYY JJ aannuuaa rryy 44 CCO OM M EED DYY CCAATTCC H H Michael Mack, Michael Speenburg RRH HYYTT H HM M && BB RREEW W SS Mark Rossell Band, Friends of Lola SS IIN NG G IITT O ORR W W IIN NG G IITT Karaoke BBA A RRTT’’ SS LL AA K KEESS H HO ORREE DJ E VVA AU UD DEEVVIILL LL EE CCAAFFEE “Mystery at the RedneckItalian Wedding” TT--BBO ON NEE’’SS Rob Snyder SSU UG GAA RR’’SS Power Players TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTAA VVEERRN N Gaslight Street

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MEERR CCYY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Civil Twilight

SSU UN ND DA AYY JJaannuu aarryy 55 CCO OM MEED DYY CC A ATTCCH H Michael Mack, Michael Speenburg SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke VVA AU UD DEEVVIILL LLEE CC A AFFEE Live Band Karaoke DO D OU UBBLL EE H HIILL LL BB IILL LL IIA ARR D DSS Open Mic BBEEEEFF O O’’BBRR A AD DYY’’ SS Karaoke w/ RCB Entertainment ARRII’’ SS H A HA A RRBB O ORR LL IIG GH HTT SS Keyz Brown HO H ON NEESS TT PP IIN NTT Old Time Travelers

MO M ON ND DA AYY JJ aannuuaarr yy 66 SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke RRA AW W DJ Spicolli TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA A VVEERRN N Trivia Night TTH HEE O OFFFFIICCEE SpeakEasy FFO OXX && H HO OU UN ND D DJ Exphacter ON O NEE--EELL EEVVEEN N (Lafayette) CSA Writers Night CCA AM M PP H HO OU USS EE Bones Jugs N Harmony w/ Lon Eldridge IIRR O ON N CC IITTYY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Clutch

TT U UEESSD DA AYY JJaa nnuu aarryy 77 TTH HEE BBIIG G CCH HIILLLL Karaoke w/ Chris of Alternative Images RRA AW W DJ Spicolli JJEEFFFFEERR SSO ON N’’ SS Kamakazi Karaoke SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke TTRREEM MO ON NTT TTA A VVEERRN N Open Mic w/ Mike McDade SSU UG GA ARR ’’SS Tim Starnes & friends

WEED W DN NEESSD DA AYY JJ aannuuaarr yy 88 RRA AW W Open Jam w/ Jonathan Wimpee and friends SSIIN NG G IITT O ORR W WIIN NG G IITT Karaoke FFA AN NA ATTII CCSS Karaoke w/ DJ Hammer PPLLA A YYO OFFFFSS SSPP O ORRTTSS BB A ARR Karaoke w/ Captain Karaoke DO D OU UBB LLEE H HIILLLL BB IILL LLII A ARR D DSS Karaoke LLA A SS M MA ARRG GA ARRII TTA A ’’SS Priscilla & Little Rickee BBA ARR TT’’SS LLA AK KEESS H HO ORREE Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment SSM MO OK K EEYY BB O ON NEESS Wild’n Out Wednesdays W/ DJ ScubaSteve FFO OXX && H HO OU UN ND D Karaoke w/ Choo Choo Entertainment ARRII ’’SS H A HA ARR BBO ORR LLII G GH HTTSS Keyz Brown TTH HEE TTA A VVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims JJ..JJ ..’’SS BBO OH HEEM MIIA A Saintseneca SSU UG GA ARR ’’SS Dan Sheffield HO H ON NEESS TT PPIIN NTT Nosecone Prophets, Toxic Shock, Hill Street Hooligans BBRRII D DG GEESS TTO ON NEE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) Jeff Dunham

JANUARY 2 2014

12

RR H HYYTTH HM M && BB RREEW WSS Johnette Napalitano January 9 SS U UG GA ARR’’SS Jonathan Wimpee January 9 HO H ON NEESS TT PP IIN NTT Vagabond Philosophy, The Vino Takes January 9 WO W ORR K KPP LLA A YY TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Birmingham) Queensryche January 9 BB IIJJ O OU U TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Knoxville) Steep Canyon Rangers January 9 PP H HIILL IIPPSS A A RREEN NA A (Atlanta) Jeff Dunham January 9 SS U UG GA ARR’’SS Power Players January 10 CCO OBB BB EEN NEERR G GYY PP EERRFFO ORRM MII N NG G AA RRTTSS CC EEN N -TTEERR (Atlanta) Travis Tritt January 10 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Queensryche January 10 FFO OXX TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) The Allman Brothers Band, Trace Adkins, Jackson Browne, Eric Church, Natalie Cole, Brantley Gilbert, Warren Haynes, John Hiatt, Jaimoe’s Jasssz, Taj Hahal, Keb’ Mo’, Martina McBride, Pat Monahan, Sam Moore, Robert Randolph, Susan Tedeschi, Derek Trucks, Don Was, Widespread Panic January 10 BB O OTTTTLLEETTRR EEEE (Birmingham) Cate Le Bon, Kevin Morby January 10 TTRR A ACCK K 22 99 Abbey Road Live! January 11 SS U UG GA ARR’’SS SRO Band January 11 KN K NO OXXVV IILL LLEE A AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M && CCO OLLII SSEEIIU UM M (Knoxville) Jeff Dunham January 11 RR YYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Eric Church January 11 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Cate Le Bon January 11 TTRR A ACCK K 22 99 Pop Evil January 12 HO H ON NEESS TT PP IIN NTT The Bumper Jackson, The 9th Street Stompers January 12 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Iris DeMent January 12 BB O OTTTTLLEETTRR EEEE (Birmingham) Royal Bangs, Bad Signs January 13 FFRRA AN NK K LLIIN N TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Franklin) Travis Tritt January 13 II RRO ON N CCIITTYY LLII VVEE (Birmingham) B.B. King January 14 HO H ON NEESS TT PP IIN NTT Wilkesview January 15 VVA A RRII EETTYY PP LLA A YYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Leon Russell, Hot Tuna January 15 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATT TTIICC (Atlanta) Fred J. Eaglesmith January 15 WO W ORR K KPP LLA A YY TTH H EEA A TTRREE (Birmingham) The Wailers January 15 HII G H GH HW WA A TTTT (Nashville) Royal Bangs, Bad Signs January 15 TTRR A ACCK K 22 99 Emancipator January 16 RR H HYYTTH HM M && BB RREEW WSS Of Montreal, Wild Moccasins January 16 HO H ON NEESS TT PP IIN NTT Moseley, Medicine Tree January 16 BB LLIIN ND DW WIILL LLIIEE’’SS (Atlanta) Lil’ Ed & the Blues Imperials January 16 TTH HEE EEA A RRLL (Atlanta) The Paul Collins Beat, Parasite Diet, Vito January 16


TTRR A ACCK K 22 99 Blackberry Smoke, The Delta Saints January 17 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATTTT IICC (Atlanta) Lucy Kaplansky January 17 TTH HEE 11 2200 TTA A VVEERRN N (Marietta) Shooter Jennings January 17 WIILL D W D BBII LLLL ’’SS (Duluth) Saving Abel, Three Years Hollow January 17 NVV N N NIIG GH HTTCCLL U UBB (Knoxville) Emancipator January 17 WO W ORRK K PPLL A AYY TTH HEEA A TTRREE (Birmingham) Against Me! January 17 TTII VVO OLLII TTH HEEA A TTRREE Don Williams January 18 JJ ..JJ..’’SS BBO OH H EEM MII A A Those Darlins January 18 VVA A RRII EETT YY PP LLA A YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) The Grapes January 18 TTEERRM MII N NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Earphunk January 18 CCO OBB BB EEN NEERRG GYY PP EERR FFO ORRM MIIN NG GA A RRTTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) Billy Gardell January 18 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTA AG GEE (Atlanta) AFI January 18 SS YYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HA ALL LL (Atlanta) Chuck Leavell, Gregg Allman, Jimmy Hall, Robert McDuffie, Randall Bramblett January 18 D && LL IIN 33RRD ND DSSLL EEYY (Nashville) Melissa Manchester January 18 CCA AN NN NEERR YY BB A ALL LLRR O OO OM M (Nashville) Emancipator January 18 BBA A RRK K IIN NG G LLEEG GSS TTH HEEA A TTEERR The John Cowan Band January 19 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT Endelouz, Dark Horse Ten January 19 TTEEN NN NEESSSS EEEE TTH HEEA A TTRREE (Knoxville) Bill Cosby January 19 EED DD DIIEE’’SS A ATTTT IICC (Atlanta) Grant Lee Phillips January 19 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Atlanta) Against Me! January 19 TTII VVO OLLII TTH HEEA A TTRREE Tedeschi Trucks Band January 21 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT kidDEAD, Kids From Across The Street, Stoop Kids January 22 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT Asian Teacher Factory, Monomath January 23 BBII JJO OU U TTH HEEA ATTRR EE (Knoxville) Big Head Todd & the Monster January 23 WO W ORRK K PPLL A AYY TTH HEEA A TTRREE (Birmingham) Paper Diamond January 23 SS CCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORR N N SS YYM MPP H HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kathleen Madigan January 24 RRYY M MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Charley Pride January 24 TTH HEE LL O OFFTT (Atlanta) Cody Simpson, Plug In Stereo January 24 NVV N N NIIG GH HTTCCLL U UBB (Knoxville) Paper Diamond January 24 WO W OO OD DSS O ON NG GSS CCO OFFFFEEEEH HO OU USS EE (Dalton) The Rigneys, Lon Eldridge January 25 MAA RRA M A TTH HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK K SS (Nashville) AFI January 25 AN A NTT H HEEM M (Nashville) Paper Diamonds January 25

GRRA G AN ND DO OLL EE O OPP RRYY H HO OU USSEE (Nashville) The Greencards January 25 TTEERRM MII N NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Connor Christian & Southern Gothic, Sonia Leigh January 25 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT Molly Maguires January 26 VVA ARR IIEETTYY PPLL A AYY H HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Amy Ray January 26 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERR FFO ORR M MIIN NG GA ARR TTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) The Midtown Men January 26 D && LLII N 33RRD ND DSSLL EEYY (Nashville) Big Head Todd & the Monster January 26 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Cody Simpson, Plug In Stereo January 26 TTH HEE M MA A SSQ QU UEERR A AD DEE (Atlanta) Falling In Reverse, Escape the Fate, Chelsea Grin, Survive This! January 27 VVIIN NYYLL (Atlanta) Nipsey Hustle January 28 IIRR O ON N CCII TTYY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Neko Case, Thao & the Get Down Stay Down January 28 TTRRA A CCK K 2299 Umphrey’s McGee January 29 MCCK M K EEN NZZIIEE A ARR EEN NA A Zac Brown Band January 29 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT Tab Spencer, Hot Damn January 29 SSCCH HEERR M MEERRH HO ORR N N SS YYM MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Mary Chapin Carpenter January 29 EED DD DII EE’’SS A A TTTTII CC (Atlanta) Robyn Hitchcock January 29 PPII LLO OTT LLII G GH HTT (Knoxville) Thao & the Get Down Stay Down January 29 HO H ON NEESSTT PPII N NTT The Kernal and His New Strangers, Christian Lee Hutson January 30 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERR FFO ORR M MIIN NG GA ARR TTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) Aaron Neville, Dirty Dozen Brass Band January 30 TTH HO OM MPP SSO ON N-- BBO OLL IIN NG GA ARREEN NA A (Knoxville) Keith Urban, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch January 31 MA M ARR A ATTH HO ON NM MU USSII CC W WO ORR K KSS (Nashville) Moe January 31 OPPEERRA O A (Atlanta) Passion Pit January 31 BBRRII D DG GEESSTTO ON NEE A ARR EEN NA A (Nashville) Keith Urban, Little Big Town, Dustin Lynch February 1 TTEERRM MII N NA ALL W WEESSTT (Atlanta) Paper Diamond February 1 BBU UCCK KH HEEA AD D TTH HEEA ATTRR EE (Atlanta) Kristian Bush, Larkin Poe February 1 TTEEN NN NEESSSS EEEE TTH HEEA ATTRR EE (Knoxville) Queens of the Stone Age February 1 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Jake Bugg February 1 EEXXIITT //II N N (Nashville) The Whigs February 1 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) The Pixies, Cults February 2 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLL EE (Atlanta) The Pixies, Cults February 4 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Skinny Puppy ENIGMA

February 4 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Neutral Milk Hotel February 4 EEXX IITT//II N N (Nashville) Zach Deputy February 4 TTEEN NN NEESS SSEEEE TT H HEEA ATTRR EE (Knoxville) Jonny Lang February 4 PPH HIILL IIPP SS A ARR EEN NA A (Atlanta) Kings of Leon, Gary Clark Jr. February 5 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLLEE (Atlanta) Corey Smith February 6 TTRRA A CCK K 2299 Eli Young Band February 7 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLLEE (Atlanta) Panic! At the Disco February 7 TTH HEE M MA A SSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) Yellowcard February 7 BBO OIISS FFEEU UII LLLL EETT JJ O ON NEESS CCIIVVII CC CC EEN NTT EERR (Atlanta) Katt Williams February 7 VVA ARR IIEETTYY PPLL A AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Angelique Kidjo February 7 TTH HEE EEA ARR LL (Atlanta) Sebadoh February 7 BBRRII D DG GEESS TTO ON NEE A ARREEN NA A (Nashville) Kings of Leon, Gary Clark Jr. February 7 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) Suzy Boggus February 7 GRRA G AN ND DO OLLEE O OPPRR YY H HO OU USS EE (Nashville) Dierks Bentley February 7 MEERR CCYY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Man Man February 7 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Lewis Black February 8 SSCCH HEERRM M EERR H HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Jonny Lang February 9 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Trey Anastacio February 9 BBO OTTTTLL EETT RREEEE (Birmingham) Sebadoh February 10 MEERR CCYY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Ash, Deaf Havanan February 10 NVV N N NIIG GH H TTCCLLU UBB (Knoxville) Chimaira, Iwrestledabearonce, Oceano, Fit For An Autopsy, Reflections February 11 SSYYM MPP H HO ON NYY H HA A LLLL (Atlanta) Buddy Guy February 13 VVA ARR IIEETTYY PPLL A AYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Dave Mason February 13 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLLEE (Atlanta) Lauryn Hill February 13 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Black Joe Lewis & the Honey Bears February 13 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLLEE (Atlanta) Trey Anastacio February 14 SSCCH HEERRM M EERR H HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Rogers February 14 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) Edwin McCain February 14 JJ..JJ ..’’SS BBO OH HEEM MIIA A The Whigs February 15 BBJJCC CC A A RREEN NA A (Birmingham) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves February 15 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA A CCLLEE (Atlanta) Flogging Molly February 15 WII LLD W DH HO ORR SSEE SSA A LLO OO ON N (Nashville) Rick Springfield February 15 SSCCH HEERRM M EERR H HO ORRN N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Rogers February 15 BBIIJJ O OU U TTH HEEA A TTRREE (Knoxville) Edwin

JANUARY 2 2014

13

JANUARY 9-11

STEVE-O

STEVE-O (A.K.A. STEPHEN GLOVER) HAS BECOME A HOUSEHOLD NAME AND IT ALL STARTED WHEN HE SNATCHED A VIDEO CAMERA FROM HIS FATHER'S CLOSET WHEN HE WAS FIFTEEN YEARS OLD. FROM THERE HE STARTED PRODUCING HOMEMADE SKATEBOARDING VIDEOS FEATURING DANGEROUS STUNTS MIXED WITH COMICAL BEHAVIOR. EVENTUALLY, STEVE-O'S VIDEOS MADE IT INTO THE HANDS OF JEFF TREMAINE (JACKASS CREATOR/DIRECTOR/PRODUCER) WHO WAS WORKING WITH JOHNNY KNOXVILLE TO CREATE A STUNT BASED REALITY SHOW. THE REST IS HISTORY. MTV AIRED THE FIRST SEASON OF JACKASS IN 2000. IN 2001, STEVE-O LAUNCHED HIS OWN "STEVE-O DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME TOUR", ESTABLISHING HIMSELF AS AN ACCOMPLISHED STAGE PERFORMER, AT VENUES THROUGHOUT THE U.S. AND IN A DOZEN COUNTRIES.

JANUARY 16-19

MATT MITCHELL

MATT MITCHELL IS A PURE SOUTHERN MASH BOOGIE COMEDIAN FROM ALABAMA WITH BAREFEET, MUSH-MOUTHED DRAWLING AND A MILE-WIDE SOCIAL STREAK. KINDA LIKE LYNYRD SKYNYRD AS A STAND-UP COMIC... ONLY FATTER. MATT GOT HIS START AS THE "CASIO KID" ON THE NATIONALLY SYNDICATED RICK AND BUBBA RADIO SHOW. AFTER HIS HIT REALITY TV SHOW, "THE FATCHELOR" ROCKED THE AIRWAVES OF THE TURNER SOUTH CHANNEL HE LOADED UP THE TRUCK AND MOVE TO BEVERLY... HILLS THAT IS.... WAIT... ACTUALLY IT WAS HOLLYWOOD. MATT HAS SINCE BEEN SEEN ON THE TONIGHT SHOW WITH JAY LENO, MTV AND LAST COMIC STANDING, ALONG WITH NUMEROUS COMMERCIALS AND MUSIC VIDEOS.

FOR UPDATES, DISCOUNTS AND FREE TICKETS, TEXT COMEDYCATCH TO 99000

3223 BRAINERD RD.423.622.2233 WWW.THECOMEDYCATCH.COM


McCain February 15 TTRRA A CCK K 2299 Lettuce, The Floozies February 16 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MII N NG GA ARR TTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) Craig Ferguson February 16 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., Chad Valley February 17 HIIG H GH HW WAA TTTT (Nashville) Sebadoh February 17 JJ U UPP IITTEERR O ON N TTH HEE SSTTRR IIPP (Tuscaloosa) Lettuce, The Floozies February 17 TTH HEE EEAARR LL (Atlanta) Cibo Matto February 17 TTEERRM MII N NAA LL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) Dale Earnhardt Jr. Jr., Chad Valley February 18 RRYYM MAA N N AA U UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Scotty McGreery February 18 PPII LLO OTT LLII G GH HTT (Knoxville) Sebadoh February 18 WA W ARR M MEEM MO ORRII A ALL A AU UD DII TTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Buddy Guy, Robert Randolph & the Family Band February 20 RRYYM MAA N N AA U UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Jennifer Nettles February 20 AN A ND DRR EEW W JJAA CCK KSS O ON NH HA A LLLL (Nashville) Tony Bennett February 20 TTH HEE EEAARR LL (Atlanta) Drag the River, Chris Wollard & the Ship Thieves February 20 IIRR O ON N CCIITT YY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Brett Dennen February 20 FF O OXX TTH HEEAA TTRREE (Atlanta) Robin Thicke, Jessie J, DJ Cassidy February 21 PPH HII LLII PPSS AARR EEN NAA (Atlanta) Demi Lovato, Fifth Harmony, Little Mix February 21 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MII N NG GA ARR TTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) Amy Schurmer February

21 EED DD DII EE’’SS A A TTTTIICC (Atlanta) Scott Miller February 21 MEERRCCYY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) The Black Angels, Roky Erickson February 21 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) Brett Dennen February 21 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA ACC LLEE (Atlanta) Young the Giant, Caycaus February 22 VVA ARR IIEETTYY PPLLA A YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) G. Love & Special Sauce February 22 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Mayor Hawthorne, Quadron February 22 TTEERRM MIIN NA A LL W WEESS TT (Atlanta) The Black Angels, Roky Erickson February 22 JJEEN NN NIIEE A AN ND DEERRSS O ON N TTH HEEA ATTRR EE (Marietta) Mel Tillis February 22 MA M ARR A ATTH HO ON NM MU USS IICC W WO ORRK KSS (Nashville) Randy Rogers Band, Josh Abbott Band, Wade Bowen February 22 JJA AM MEESS K K.. PPO OLL K K TTH HEEA A TTEERR (Nashville) The Tenors February 22 D && LLIIN 33RRD ND DSS LLEEYY (Nashville) G. Love & Special Sauce February 23 BBJJ CCCC CCO ON NCCEERRTT H HA ALL LL (Birmingham) Bill Maher February 23 BBRRII D DG GEESS TTO ON NEE A A RREEN NA A (Nashville) Imagine Dragons, The Naked and Famous February 24 PPH HIILL IIPP SS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) The Eagles February 24 PPH HIILL IIPP SS A ARREEN NA A (Atlanta) Imagine Dragons, The Naked and Famous February 26 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERR G GYY PP EERRFF O ORRM MIIN NG G AARR TTSS CCEEN N -TTEERR (Atlanta) Clint Holmes, Nnenna Freelon, Kirk Whalum February 26 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA ACC LLEE (Atlanta) Austin Mahone, Midnight Red, W3 The Future, Becky G February 27

ENIGMA

SSM MIITTH H’’SS O OLL D DEE BBAARR (Atlanta) Graham Colton February 28 ALLYY SS RRO A OBBII N NSS O ON N SS TTEEPPH HEEN NSS PPEERRFF O ORR M M-IIN NG G AA RRTTSS CCEEN NTTEERR (Birmingham) Carolina Chocolate Drops February 28 H && PPO 1122TTH ORRTTEERR (Nashville) Graham Colton March 1 WO W ORR K KPP LLAA YY TTH HEEAATT RREE (Birmingham) Graham Colton March 2 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVV EE (Birmingham) Dropkick Murphys, Lucero, Skinny Lister, Lucero March 5 BBO OTTTTLLEETTRR EEEE (Birmingham) Stephen Malkmus And the Jicks March 5 BBA ARR K KII N NG G LLEEG GSS TTH HEEAATT EERR Beppe Gambetta March 6 TTH HEE TTAABB EERR N NAACCLL EE (Atlanta) Bring Me the Horizon, Of Mice & Men March 6 TTH HEE BBO OW WEERRYY (Knoxville) Wayne “The Train” Hancock March 6 TTH HEE N NIICCK K (Birmingham) Agent Orange March 7 VVA ARRII EETTYY PP LLAA YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Sharon Corr March 9 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTT AAG GEE (Atlanta) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 11 TTH HEE TTAABB EERR N NAACCLL EE (Atlanta) Broken Bells, Au Revoir Simone March 11 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Young the Giant, Vance Joy March 11 IIRRO ON N CCIITTYY LLIIVV EE (Birmingham) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 12 WII LLD W DH HO ORRSS EE SS AALL O OO ON N (Nashville) George Thorogood & the Destroyers March 13 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Chris Botti March 14 HEEAA VVEEN H N@ @ TTH HEE M MAA SSQ QU UEERRAA D DEE (Atlanta) Children of Bodom, Death Angel, Tyr March 14 TTEEN NN NEESS SSEEEE TTH HEEAATT RREE (Knoxville) Bob Weir & Ratdog March 14

JANUARY 2 2014

14

KN K NO OXXVVII LLLL EE CCO OLLII SSEEIIU UM M (Knoxville) Indigo Girls March 15 RR YYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Bob Weir & Ratdog March 15 JJ A AM MEESS K K .. PP O OLLK K TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Nashville) Jillian Michaels March 15 TTH HEE M MAASS Q QU UEERRAA D DEE (Atlanta) Agent Orange March 16 TTH HEE TTAABBEERR N NAA CCLLEE (Atlanta) Bob Weir & Ratdog March 16 HEELL LL @ H @ TT H HEE M MAASS Q QU UEERR AAD DEE (Atlanta) Breathe Carolina, Jonny Craig, Ghost Town, Divided By Friday March 16 MEERRCCYY LLO M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Gary Numan, Big Black Delta, Roman Remains March 17 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTAA G GEE (Atlanta) HIM March 18 MAA RRAA TTH M HO ON NM MU USSII CC W WO ORRK K SS (Nashville) The Glitch Mob March 18 MAA RRAA TTH M HO ON NM MU USSII CC W WO ORRK K SS (Nashville) Cut Copy March 19 HEEAA VVEEN H N AATT TTH HEE M MAA SSQ QU UEERRAA D DEE (Atlanta) Carcass, The Black Dahlia Murder, Gorguts, Noisem March 19 EED DD DIIEE’’SS AATTTTII CC (Atlanta) Al Stewart March 20 FF O OXX TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) Elle Goulding March 20 TTH HEE TTAABBEERR N NAA CCLLEE (Atlanta) The Glitch Mob March 20 MAA RRAA TTH M HO ON NM MU USSII CC W WO ORRK K SS (Nashville) James Blake March 20 SS CCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORR N N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Loggins March 20 WAA RR M W MEEM MO ORRII AALL AA U UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) J.J. Grey, Marc Broussard, Anders Osborne, Luther Dickinson March 20 A LLAA BBAAM A MAA TTH HEEAA TTRREE (Birmingham) Brian Regan March 20 BB RRIID DG GEESSTT O ON NEE AARR EEN NA A (Nashville) George Strait, Sheryl Crow March 21 SS CCH HEERRM MEERRH HO ORR N N SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY CC EEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Kenny Loggins March 21 RR YYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Crosby Stills & Nash March 21 CCEEN NTTEERR SSTTAA G GEE (Atlanta) J.J. Grey, Marc Broussard, Anders Osborne, Luther Dickinson March 21 FF O OXX TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) The Moody Blues March 21 A LLAA BBAAM A MAA TTH HEEAA TTRREE (Birmingham) Ron White March 21 CCO OTTTT O ON N--EEYYEED D JJ O OEE’’SS (Knoxville) Aaaron Lewis March 21 PP H HIILLII PPSS AA RREEN NAA (Atlanta) George Strait, Sheryl Crow March 22 FF O OXX TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) Crosby Stills & Nash March 22 II RRO ON N CCII TTYY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Gavin DeGraw March 24 PP H HIILLII PPSS AA RREEN NAA (Atlanta) Miley Cyrus March 25 VVA A RREEIITT YY PPLL AAYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) The Johnny Clegg Band March 26 RR YYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Gavin DeGraw March 26 BB RRIID DG GEESSTT O ON NEE AARR EEN NA A (Nashville) Demi


Lovato, Fifth Harmony, Cher Lloyd March 29 RRII A ALL TTO O CCEEN NTTEERR (Atlanta) Bela Fleck, Abigail Washburn March 29 BBLL IIN ND DW WIILL LLII EE’’SS (Atlanta) The Nighthawks March 29 JJ EEN NN NII EE AAN ND DEERRSS O ON N TTH HEEA A TTRREE (Marietta) Jim Stafford March 29 RRYYM MAA N N AA U UD DII TTO ORRII U UM M (Nashville) Amy Shumer March 30 BBRR IID DG GEESSTTO ON NEE A A RREEN NA A (Nashville) Cher March 31 PPH HII LLII PPSS AARR EEN NAA (Atlanta) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves April 1 SSYY M MPPH HO ON NYY H HAA LLLL (Atlanta) Yo Yo Ma April 2 CCO OBBBB EEN NEERRG GYY PPEERRFF O ORRM MII N NG GA ARR TTSS CCEEN N-TTEERR (Atlanta) Jesse Cook April 2 WO W ORRK K PPLL AAYY TTH HEEA ATTRREE (Birmingham) J.J. Grey, Marc Broussard, Anders Osborne, Luther Dickinson April 2 BBA A RRK K IIN NG G LL EEG GSS TTH HEEA ATTEERR Pierre Bensusan April 3 TTH HEE TTAA BBEERRN NAA CCLLEE (Atlanta) Grouplove, MD MR, Smallpools April 3 IIRR O ON N CCIITT YY LL IIVVEE (Birmingham) Umphrey’s McGee April 5 TTH HEE SS TTAARR BBAA RR (Atlanta) Mobb Deep April 5 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTAA G GEE (Atlanta) Scott Stapp April 9 TTH HEE M MAA SSQ QU UEERRA AD DEE (Atlanta) The Wonder Years, Defeater, Citizen, Modern Baseball, Real Friends April 9 VVA A RRIIEETTYY PPLL AAYYH HO OU USS EE (Atlanta) Brett Dennen April 10 JJ EEM MII SSO ON N CCO ON NCCEERR TT H HA A LLLL (Birmingham) John Prine, Holly Williams April 11 SS CCH HEERR M MEERRH HO ORRN N SSYYM MPP H HO ON NYY CCEEN NTTEERR (Nashville) Whoopi Goldberg April 11

WA W ARR M MEEM MO ORRIIA A LL A AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Brad Sherwood, Colin Mochrie April 12 NA N ASS H HVVIILL LLEE M MU UN NIICC IIPPA A LL A AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) The Family Stone April 12 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Stephen Marley April 13 BBU UCCK KH HEEA AD D TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) The Milk Carton Kids April 18 BBRRII D DG GEESS TTO ON NEE A A RREEN NA A (Nashville) Miley Cyrus, Icona Pop, Sky Ferreira April 18 TTH HEE TTA A BBEERRN NA ACC LLEE (Atlanta) Alter Bridge April 19 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Santana April 23 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Joe Bonamassa April 26 SSYYM MPP H HO ON NYY H HA A LLLL (Atlanta) Boz Scaggs April 27 TTH HO OM MPPSS O ON N--BB O OLLIIN NG GA ARR EEN NA A (Knoxville) Lady Antebellum, Kip Moore, Kacey Musgraves April 27 MEERRCCYY LL O M OU UN NG GEE (Nashville) Haim April 27 WA W ARR M MEEM MO ORRIIA A LL A AU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Bastille April 28 SSLL O OSSSS FF U URRN NA ACCEESS (Birmingham) Vampire Weekend April 28 CCA AN NN NEERRYY BBA A LLLLRR O OO OM M (Nashville) Christina Perri April 29 BBU UCCK KH HEEA AD D TTH HEEA ATT RREE (Atlanta) Christina Perri April 30 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Local Natives April 30 BBRRII D DG GEESS TTO ON NEE A A RREEN NA A (Nashville) Arcade Fire May 1 RRYYM MA AN NA AU UD DII TTO ORRIIU UM M (Nashville) Bend Folds May 2 AA A A RRO ON N’’SS A AM MPP H HIITTH HEEA ATTRR EE (Atlanta) Arcade Fire May 2 CCEEN NTTEERR SS TTA AG GEE (Atlanta) Mogwai May 2

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EEXX IITT//IIN N (Nashville) Mogwai May 3 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Ben Folds May 3 BBA ARR K KII N NG G LLEEG GSS TTH HEEAATT EERR April Verch Band May 4 FFO OXX TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) Vampire Weekend May 5 PPH HIILL IIPPSS AA RREEN NAA (Atlanta) Lady Gaga May 6 TTH HEE TTAABB EERR N NAACCLL EE (Atlanta) The Wanted May 7 RRYYM MAAN N AAU UD DIITTO ORR IIU UM M (Nashville) Garrison Keillor May 10 PPH HIILL IIPPSS AA RREEN NAA (Atlanta) Cher May 12 EEXX IITT//IIN N (Nashville) The 1975 May 15 BBU UCCK KH HEEAAD D TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) The 1975 May 22 SSYYM MPPH HO ON NYY H HAALL LL (Atlanta) Ben Folds May 23 HAA RRRR AAH H H’’SS CCH HEERRO OK K EEEE CCAASS IIN NO O (Cherokee) Dolly Parton May 25 VVA ARRII EETTYY PP LLAA YYH HO OU USSEE (Atlanta) Tommy Emmanuel May 26 OAAK O KM MO OU UN NTTAAII N N AA M MPPH HIITTH HEEAA TTRREE (Pelham, AL) Journey, Steve Miller Band, Tower of Power May 27 AAARR O A ON N’’SS AA M MPPH HII TTH HEEAATTRR EE (Atlanta) Journey, Steve Miller Band, Tower of Power May 30 SSO OU UTTH HEERRN NG GRR O OU UN ND D AAM MPP H HIITTH HEEAA TTRREE (Fayetteville) Gary Puckett & the Union Gap June 7 SSO OU UTTH HEERRN NG GRR O OU UN ND D AAM MPP H HIITTH HEEAA TTRREE (Fayetteville) Jefferson Starship June 28 TTRRA ACCK K 22 99 Lindsey Stirling June 30 CCO OU UN NTTRR YY TTO ON NII G GH HTT TTH HEEAA TTRREE (Pigeon Forge) Mark Chesnutt July 4

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AA AARR O ON N’’SS AA M MPPH HIITT H HEEA A TTRREE (Atlanta) Van’s Warped Tour July 24 LL PP FF IIEELL D D (Nashville) One Direction August 19 GEEO G ORRG GII AA D DO OM MEE (Atlanta) One Direction October 1

CCO ON NTTIIN NU UII N NG G FF IIRR SSTT CCEEN NTTEEN NAA RRYY U UN NIITTEED DM MEETTH HO OD DIISS TT CCH HU URRCCH H (Room 135) Singles One Mondays @ 6 PM GRR EEAA TTEERR CCH G HAATTTTAA N NO OO OG GAA AASS PPII EESS Third Tuesday of each month, 6-8 pm http://www.meetup.com/G-C-As BB IIG G CCH HII LLLL Karaoke Tuesdays DEEVVEELLO D OPP M MEEN NTT RREESS O OU URRCCEE BB U UII LLD DII N NG G (1250 Market Street) Chattanooga Alliance for Animals First Wednesday of the month MII LLLL EERR M M MO OTTLL EE TTEECCH HN NIICCAA LL CCO OLLLL EEG GEE CHEO Complimentary Health Education Organization Chapter Meeting Third Sunday 2-4 PM TTH HEE CCH HAATTTTAA N NO OO OG GAAN N Breakfast Education & Networking Workshop Second Wednesday of the month BB RRA AD DFF O ORRD DH HEEAA LLTT H H CCEEN NTTEERR (6160 Shallowford Rd.) Free Parent Support Meeting Thursdays 5-6pm LL A ASS M MAA RRG GAARR IITTAA ’’SS (Cleveland) Collins Brothers Band Thursdays LL A ASS M MAA RRG GAARR IITTAA ’’SS Priscilla & Little Rickee Wednesdays CCA AM MPP H HO OU USS EE Open Mic Thursdays TTH HEE TTAAVVEERRN N (Soddy-Daisy) Roberts & Sims Wednesdays


O PE NI NG T HI S W EEK Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones A group of party goers set out with a camera to investigate after a woman dies in the apartment beneath the party. They discover items associated with black magic rituals, even the missing tapes from Paranormal Activity 3. When Jesse, discovers a mark on his arm, strange forces pursue him while Jesse’s loved ones attempt to save him.

their master and banishes their kind, 47 leaderless samurai vow to seek vengeance and restore honor to their people. Driven from their homes and dispersed across the land, this band of Ronin must seek the help of Kai -a half-breed they once rejected-as they fight their way across a savage world of mythic beasts, shape-shifting witchcraft and wondrous terrors. As this exiled, enslaved outcast becomes their most deadly weapon, he will transform into the hero who inspires this band of outnumbered rebels to seize eternity.

Paramout Pictures’ “Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones”.

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seductive British partner Sydney American Hustle R Prosser, is forced to work for a wild Brilliant con man Irving Rosenfeld, FBI agent named Richie DiMaso. 47 Ronin PG-13 After a treacherous warlord kills along with his equally cunning and DiMaso pushes them into a world of Jersey power-brokers and mafia that’s as dangerous as it is enchanting. Carmine Polito is the passionate, volatile, New Jersey political operator caught between the conartists and Feds. Irving’s unpredictable wife Rosalyn could be the one to pull the thread that brings the entire world crashing down. Anchor Man 2: The Legend Continues PG-13 With the 70’s behind him, San Diego’s top rated newsman, Ron Burgundy returns to the news desk. Also back for more are Ron’s coanchor and wife, Veronica Corningstone, weather man Brick Tamland, man on the street Brian Fantana and sports guy Champ Kind. All of whom won’t make it easy to stay classy... while taking the nation’s first 24-hour news channel by storm. Frozen PG Fearless optimist Anna sets off on an epic journey-teaming up with rugged mountain man Kristoff and his loyal reindeer Sven-to find her sister Elsa, whose icy powers have trapped the kingdom of Arendelle in eternal winter. Encountering Everest-like conditions, mystical ENIGMA

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trolls and a hilarious snowman named Olaf, Anna and Kristoff battle the elements in a race to save the kingdom. Grudge Match PG-13 Billy “The Kid” McDonnen and Henry “Razor” Sharp are two local Pittsburgh fighters whose fierce rivalry put them in the national spotlight. Each had scored a victory against the other during their heyday, but in 1983, on the eve of their decisive third match, Razor suddenly announced his retirement, refusing to explain why. Thirty years later, boxing promoter Dante Slate Jr., seeing big dollar signs, makes them an offer they can’t refuse: to re-enter the ring and settle the score once and for all. On their first encounter in decades, their longfestering feud erupts into an unintentionally hilarious melee that instantly goes viral. The sudden social media frenzy transforms their local grudge match into a must-see HBO event. Now, if they can just survive the training, they may actually live to fight again. The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug The second installment of the adventures of Bilbo Baggins, a diminutive creature who resides in a place called “Middle-Earth” before he is compelled to go on a quest to


find a treasure buried deep in the own past. heart of Lonely Mountain. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty PG The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Walter Mitty is a daydreamer who escapes his anonymous life by disPG-13 Katniss Everdeen has returned appearing into a world of fantasies home safely after winning the 74th filled with heroism, romance and Annual Hunger Games along with action. When his job, along with fellow tribute Peeta Mellark. that of his co-worker are threatWinning means that they must turn ened, Walter takes action in the around and leave their family and real world, embarking on a global close friends, embarking on a journey that turns into an adven“Victor’s Tour” of the districts. ture more extraordinary than anyAlong the way, Katniss senses that a thing he could have ever imagined. rebellion is simmering, but the Capitol is still very much in control Tyler Perry’s A Madea Christmas PGas President Snow prepares the 75th 13 Annual Hunger Games (The Quarter Madea is coaxed into helping a Quell) - a competition that could friend pay her daughter a surprise visit in the country for Christmas, change Panem forever. but the biggest surprise is what they’ll find when they arrive. As the Justin Bieber’s Believe PG JUSTIN BIEBER’S BELIEVE captures small, rural town prepares for its 19-year-old Justin Bieber unfiltered annual Christmas Jubilee, new and brutally honest. In brand new secrets are revealed and old relainterviews with Bieber, the movie tionships are tested while Madea reveals long-awaited answers to dishes her own brand of Christmas questions about his passion to make Spirit to all. music, relationships and coming of age in the spotlight — as well as The Wolf of Wall Street PG-13 never-before-seen concert footage, Jordan Belfort, a Long Island penny unprecedented behind-the-scenes stockbroker, served 20 months in access and special appearances prison for refusing to cooperate in from manager Scooter Braun, Patti a massive 1990s securities fraud Mallette, Usher, Ludacris and many case that involved widespread corruption on Wall Street and in the more. corporate banking world, including Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom mob infiltration. PG-13 MANDELA: LONG WALK TO FREEDOM CO C OM M II N NG G SSO OO ON N is based on South African President Nelson Mandela’s autobiography of Devil’s Due the same name, which chronicles After a mysterious, lost night on his early life, coming of age, educa- their honeymoon, a newlywed coution and 27 years in prison before ple finds themselves dealing with an becoming President and working to earlier-than-planned pregnancy. rebuild the country’s once segregat- While recording everything for posed society. terity, the husband begins to notice odd behavior in his wife that they Nebraska R initially write off to nerves, but, as After receiving a sweepstakes letter the months pass, it becomes evident in the mail, a cantankerous old that the dark changes to her body alcoholic thinks he’s struck it rich and mind have a much more sinister and wrangles his son into taking a origin. road trip across the heartland of America to claim the fortune. Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit PG-13 In a story taking place prior to the Saving Mr. Banks PG-13 original Jack Ryan stories, Ryan is a Walt Disney spent twenty years in young stockbroker working for a pursuit of the film rights to P.L. billionaire in Moscow before joinTravers’ popular novel, “Mary ing the CIA. When the billionaire he Poppins,” a quest he began in the is advising frames him for a terror1940s as a promise to his two daugh- ist plot and kidnaps his wife, Ryan ters. When Travers travels from must race against time to clear his London to Hollywood in 1961 to name, stop the plot, and save his finally discuss Disney’s desire to wife. bring her beloved character to the motion picture screen, Disney The Legend of Hercules PG-13 meets a prim, uncompromising sex- In the origin story of Hercules, the agenarian not only suspect of the son of Zeus is a half-god, half-man impresario’s concept for the film, blessed with extraordinary but a woman struggling with her strength. Betrayed by his stepfather, ENIGMA

the King, and exiled and sold into slavery because of a forbidden love, Hercules must use his formidable powers to fight his way back to his rightful kingdom. Through harrowing battles and gladiator-arena death matches, Hercules embarks on a legendary odyssey to overthrow the King and restore peace to the land. The Nut Job PG Surly, a mischievous squirrel, and his rat friend Buddy, plan a nut store heist of outrageous proportions and unwittingly find themselves embroiled in a much more complicated and hilarious adventure.

security guard Ben has been trying to show decorated APD detective James that he’s more than just a video-game junkie who’s unworthy of James’ sister, Angela. When Ben finally gets accepted into the academy, he thinks he’s earned the seasoned policeman’s respect and asks for his blessing to marry Angela. Knowing that a ride-along will demonstrate if Ben has what it takes to take care of his sister, James invites him on a shift designed to scare the heck out of the trainee. But when the wild night leads them to the most notorious criminal in the city, James will find that his new partner’s rapid-fire mouth is just as dangerous as the bullets speeding at it

Ride Along PG-13 For the past two years, high-school

Across 2. Worn to protect the clothing 6. Fermented grape juices 11. Lady's-finger 13. State resident 15. English princess 17. Fixes 18. Ogles 19. Underground part of a plant 20. Deuces 21. Thin glutinous mud 22. Authentic 23. Finish first 25. Biddies 26. Person whose religion is Judaism 30. Devote 32. Modify 36. Complete change 37. Shooting sport 38. Sealing compound 40. Purchase

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12. Flightless bird 14. Small dam 16. Part of speech 24. Rich and fashionable travellers 26. Trash 27. Spouse 28. Group of tents 29. Genus of vermin 30. Step in ballet 31. Short letter 33. Paint unskillfully 34. Be sorry for 35. Plaything 39. Highest 42. Public exhibition Down 43. Judges 1. Florida city 2. Inert elemental gas 44. Metal fastener 45. Mathematics 3. Move past 46. Raised platform 4. Lubricates 47. Evade work 5. Yuletide 6. Of moderate tem- 48. Unwieldy ship 51. Career golfers perature 52. Unpleasant smell 7. Insert 53. Salver 8. Planet 54. Stylish 9. Breathe noisily 10. Hates intensely 41. Places to sleep 47. Shaft horsepower 49. Executive Officer 50. Away 54. Pal 55. Imitator 56. Tester 57. Hawaiian port 58. Draw near 59. Book of the Bible 60. Annoys 61. Native of Switzerland 62. Type of packsack

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fan and made fun of their haircuts on Wonderwall. He later did some club performances and live television the air. appearances before intermittently 11 996655 returning to The Monkees in 1986. The Beatles single “I Feel Fine” and album “Beatles ‘65” are certified For the first time ever, Americans spent more than $1 billion on records. Gold. According to Billboard magazine, CBS purchases The Fender Guitar album sales were 192 million units and singles sold 187 million units. Company for $13 million.

119955 00 26-year-old Sam Phillips opens his Memphis Recording Service at the corner of Union and Marshall in Memphis, Tennessee. The new venture’s slogan is “We Record Anything - Anywhere - Anytime.” Elvis Presley will spend $3.98 to make his first recording there in July, 1953. 11 9955 33 29-year-old Hank Williams died of heart failure while on his way to a show in Canton Ohio. Ironically, he had the number 1 song that week on the Country chart called, “I’ll Never Get Out of This World Alive”. 11 995544 Four days before his 20th birthday, a young truck driver named Elvis Presley paid $4 to record a ten-inch acetate demo at the Memphis Recording Service, an open-to-thepublic business run by Sam Phillips. The two songs Presley recorded, “Casual Love Affair” and “I’ll Never Stand In Your Way”, impressed Phillips enough that he had Elvis record his first professional sides for Sun Records the following August. 11 9955 77 Fats Domino records “I’m Walkin’”, a song he wrote after his car broke down and a fan shouted “Hey, look at Fats Domino, he’s walking!”. The record won’t be released for over a year, but would go on to reach #4 on the US Pop chart and #1 on the R&B chart in April of 1958. 1199 5599 TV ratings for December 1958 listed Dick Clark’s American Bandstand as the United States’ most popular daytime show. 11 996600 Johnny Cash gave his first of many performances at San Quentin Prison. In the audience that night was Merle Haggard, who was serving just under three years for burglary. 1199 6622 Brenda Lee is slightly injured when she runs into her burning Nashville home to rescue her poodle, Cee Cee. However, it is too late as the pet suc-

1199 6666 The Monkees topped the Billboard Hot 100 with the Neil Diamond composition, “I’m A Believer”. Because of over a million advance orders, the single went Gold two days after its cumbs to smoke inhalation and the release and has now sold over ten home is destroyed by the flames. million copies worldwide. Its reign at Brenda’s hit, “Rockin’ Around the #1 lasted for seven weeks. Christmas Tree”, that featured Boots Randolph on saxophone, was still rid- 1967 “Hello Goodbye” becomes The ing high on the charts. Beatles 15th Billboard number one The Beatles attend a New Year’s Day hit. The flip side, “I Am The Walrus” audition for Decca Records where reached #56, the lowest ranking for they record 15 songs. After reviewing any charted “B” side of a Beatles their material, the company decided number one single. John Lennon to sign Brian Poole And The wrote nonsense words for “Walrus” Tremeloes instead. A record company after learning that a teacher at his executive tells Brian Epstein, “These old primary school was having his boys won’t make it. Guitar groups are students analyze Beatles’ lyrics. He out. Go back to Liverpool, Mr. would later say, “Let the fuckers work Epstein. You have a good business that one out.” there.” Sonny And Cher are barred from After refusing to sign an oath that Pasadena, California’s Tournament of says they have never been members Roses Parade for speaking out in supof the Communist party, the port of the 2,000 demonstrators who American Folk group, The Weavers protested a year-long campaign by are removed from the line-up of NBC- sheriffs and police to clear the Strip of ‘loitering’ teenagers. Known as TV’s Jack Parr Show. “the Sunset Strip rioters”, the group mainly consisted of 15-year-olds with 119966 33 After placing thirty songs on the long hair and acne who were conBillboard chart with Imperial fronted by several hundred riot-helRecords, Rick Nelson signs a one mil- meted sheriff’s deputies. lion dollar, twenty year contract with Decca, where he will achieve six The Beach Boys’ Carl Wilson refused to report to the local draft board more Top 40 hits. after getting his draft notice. He Billed as The “Love Me Do” Boys, The would eventually win conscientious Beatles kick off a five day tour of objector status. The Beach Boys were Scotland at the Two Red Shoes still enjoying the success of their latest single, “Good Vibrations”, which Ballroom in Elgin. hit number 1 in the US just a few weeks earlier. 119966 44 The Liverpool Youth Employment 1199 6688 Service announced that some applicants were finding it difficult to get The first big Rock festival held on the jobs because their Beatle style hair- east coast, The Miami Festival, gets cuts and clothing were unacceptable under way in Hallandale, Florida. Tickets sell for six and seven dollars to employers. and 100,000 people turn out for the George Hamilton is chosen in favor of three day event. Those appearing Elvis Presley for the title role in the include the hottest acts of the day, Hank Williams bio, Your Cheatin’ Jose Feliciano, Procol Harem, Three Heart. William’s widow felt that the Dog Night, Chuck Berry, Fleetwood appearance of Elvis would overshad- Mac, Marvin Gaye, The Turtles, Canned Heat and Joni Mitchell. ow her husband’s memory. The Beatles were seen for the first time on a US TV show when a clip from the BBC’s The Mersey Sound, showing the group playing “She Loves You”, was shown on The Jack Paar Show. At that point, Parr was not a ENIGMA

Peter Tork quit The Monkees, buying himself out of his contract for $160,000, which left him broke. He went on to form a group called Release and played banjo on George Harrison’s soundtrack to the film

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119966 99 Thirty thousand copies of John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s album “Two Virgins” were seized at a New Jersey airport because the cover showed the couple naked. A vice squad in Chicago shut down a record store displaying the album, causing the distributor, Tetragrammaton Records to sell the L.P. in a plain brown paper wrapper. 11 997700 With Melody Maker magazine reporting that The Beatles are looking for a new bass player, Paul McCartney files suit to dissolve the Beatles’ corporation. It would take until 1974 for the split to become final. What would prove to be The Beatles’ final recording session is held at EMI’s Abby Road Studios. The last song they ever played together was “I Me Mine”, which became the title of George Harrison’s autobiography a decade later. Following the footsteps of Peter Tork, who quit a year earlier, singer


Davy Jones announces that he too is The Sex Pistols board a plane at London’s Heathrow Airport and proleaving The Monkees. ceed to be as obnoxious as possible. Tragedy struck The Who when a gang A flight attendant would later tell the of teens attacked Keith Moon’s press “These are the most revolting Bentley limo. His chauffeur, Neil people I’ve ever seen. They called us Boland got out to try to protect the filthy names and insulted everyone in car, but left it in gear, and it started sight.” moving. Moon, who had no driver’s 119977 88 license, jumped behind the wheel. Unfortunately, the chauffeur, who After selling over 35 million albums was being beaten, had fallen under since forming in 1970, Emerson, Lake the car and as Keith gunned the And Palmer announce that they are engine, Neil was run over and killed. splitting up. Though the inquest absolved Moon of 119977 99 blame, Neil’s family didn’t and neither did Moon himself, as he was At a New Years Eve concert in been haunted by the incident for the Cleveland, Bruce Springsteen’s cheek is ripped open by a fire-cracker rest of his life. thrown onstage from the audience. 1199 7711 David Clayton-Thomas makes his last Shock rocker Sid Vicious went on appearance with Blood, Sweat And trial for stabbing his girlfriend, Nancy Tears. (until the inevitable reunion) Spungen. The trial was never completed as Vicious died a month later George Harrison became the first of a heroin overdose. He had solo Beatle to have a #1 album in the attempted suicide twice while in a US when “All Things Must Pass” went cell after his arrest. to the top of the Billboard chart for a 11 998811 seven week stay. It was eventually certified 6x Platinum by the RIAA and The J. Geils Band album “Freezewas ranked #437 on Rolling Stone Frame” is awarded a Gold record. The magazine’s list of The 500 Greatest LP would reach number one on the Billboard Hot 200 chart in February Albums of All Time. 1982 and remain at the top for four 11 997722 weeks on the strength of the hit sinDick Clark’s first Rockin’ New Years gles “Centerfold” and “Freeze Frame”. Eve airs on ABC-TV, starring Three 119988 44 Dog Night, Al Green and Blood, Sweat & Tears. Def Leppard’s drummer Rick Allen lost his left arm after crashing his Elvis Presley buys a $10,000 robe Corvette while racing another driver inscribed “The People’s Champion” on a UK highway. The arm was reand presents it to boxer Muhammad attached, but had to be removed Ali. three days later. His right arm was also damaged, but he eventually reDon McLean received a Gold record joined the band using a specially for his single “American Pie”, which adapted drum kit. reached #1 in the US and #2 in the UK, 11 998866 selling over three million copies. Phil Lynott of Thin Lizzy died at the age of 36. A pathologist’s report later 119977 33 Jim Croce’s “Time in a Bottle” tops the indicated that he had developed mulHot 100, the second of three posthu- tiple internal abscesses and blood mous hits for the late singer / song- poisoning, as a result of which he had writer. suffered kidney, liver and heart failure. His last single, “Nineteen”, had 11 997744 been released just a few weeks earliStevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham er. are invited to join Fleetwood Mac, 11 999900 marking the band’s tenth line-up change since 1967. American radio station WKRL in Florida played Led Zeppelin’s 11 997755 “Stairway To Heaven” for 24 hours Elton John’s remake of The Beatles’ straight, as a prelude to an all “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” Zeppelin format. becomes his tenth US Top Ten hit and his third number one. The recording Phil Collins started a three-week run included John Lennon on guitar. at the top of the Billboard album chart with “...But Seriously”. It will 119977 77 become the second best selling album After an appeal by lawyers for of the year, behind Janet Jackson’s Warner Brothers Records, the US “Rhythm Nation 1814”. Immigration Service reverses its deci11 999911 sion to bar The Sex Pistols from Ted Nugent donated 200 pounds of entering the United States. venison to a Salvation Army soup ENIGMA

22 0000 88 kitchen in Detroit with the message “I kill it, you grill it.” New music industry data showed the number of US albums sold last year 119999 33 tumbled 9.5% from 2006, even as the Elton John breaks Elvis Presley’s number of digital tracks sold soared record for the most consecutive years by 45%. having a US Top 40 hit when “The Last 22 0000 99 Song” peaks at number 24, giving him a string of 23 straight hit making Ron Asheton, guitarist and founding years. member of The Stooges, died of natural causes at the age of 60. In 2003, he was named the 29th greatest gui11999977 45-year-old Randy California, who is tarist of all time by Rolling Stone best known as the leader of the Rock magazine. band Spirit, died tragically when he 22 001111 was gripped by an undertow while swimming on the coast of the Gerry Rafferty, the lead singer of Hawaiian island of Molokai. Before Stealers Wheel on their 1973 hit he died, he was able to save his 12 “Stuck In The Middle With You”, died after a long illness at the age of 63. year-old son, Quinn. After the band split up, he went on to a successful solo career, enjoying five 1199 9999 George Harrison was attacked by an more Billboard Top 30 hits, including intruder in his Oxfordshire mansion. “Baker Street” and “Right Down The At about 3:00 a.m., Michael Abram, a Line”. 33-year-old Liverpudlian, stabbed Harrison several times in the chest. 22 00 1122 With the help of wife Olivia and son Gloria Estefan became the first Dhani, Abram was hit over the head female artist in the history of the with a lamp and then detained until Billboard Latin singles chart to enter police arrived. Harrison suffered a at number one when “Hotel collapsed lung but eventually recov- Nacional” debuted at the top. ered from the wound. Abram would 2200 1133 later be found not guilty by reason of insanity and less than two years after Patti Page, the best selling female his trial, was given a conditional dis- artist in America in the 1950s, earning 15 Gold singles and 3 Gold albums, charge. passed away at the age of 85. 2200 0022 Former Supremes singer Diana Ross Sammy Johns, most often rememwas allegedly caught driving under bered for his 1975, Billboard #5 hit, the influence in Tucson, Arizona. The “Chevy Van”, died on January 4th, 58-year-old Ross was pulled over by 2013, at the age of 66. police responding to a report that her vehicle had been swerving. Her blood-alcohol content was determined to be 0.20, more than twice the legal limit. Ross, who was alone in the car, was polite to police at the scene and was driven by them to the location where she was staying in the area. She was cited with three counts of DUI, all misdemeanors. 2200 0033 Capitol Records announced that Lisa Marie Presley’s first album, “To Whom It May Concern” was set for release on April 8th of this year. The LP would go on to reach #5 on the Billboard Hot 200 and be certified Platinum in 2007. 2200 0044 Ray Davies of The Kinks was shot in the leg during a robbery in New Orleans when two thieves stole a lady friend’s purse at gunpoint. Davies gave chase and one of the men turned and shot him in the thigh. 2200 0055 The copyright on songs recorded in 1954 and earlier expired in most of Europe, including Bill Haley’s “Rock Around the Clock” and “Only You” by The Platters.

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RRU UM MOO UURR HH AASS IITT … … …Northshore Grill is no longer. After ten years the restaurant/watering hole closed its doors after the New Year’s Eve celebration due more to owner apathy than actual business. Rumour has it if the building passes inspection the restaurant group that runs Hair of the Dog, Terminal, and Hones Pint will take over in the coming months and reopen it. …K Kee$$hhaa has checked into rehab to treat an eating disorder. The “Tik Tok” singer said in a statement provided by her spokesman Friday that she’ll be unavailable for the next 30 days while she seeks treatment for an undisclosed eating disorder. “I’m a crusader for being yourself and loving yourself, but I’ve found it hard to practice,” she said. The 26-year-old vegetarian pop star said she wants to “learn to love myself again, exactly as I am.” No other details were provided. …There is no more beautiful sound than the voices of siblings swirled together in high harD oonn mony, and when PPhh iill and D EEvvee rrll yy combined their voices with songs about yearning, angst and loss, it changed the world. PPhh iill

EEvveerr llyy , the youngest of tthhee EE vveerr llyy BBrrootthhee rrss who took the high notes, died Friday from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. He was 74. …A judge has issued a tentative ruling against granting a new trial in a negligence case filed by the mother of M Mii cchhaa eell JJaacckk ssoonn claiming a concert promoter is financially liable for the singer’s death. Los Angeles Superior Court Judge YYvv eettttee PPaallaa zzuu eell ooss issued the lengthy ruling on Friday but did not immediately finalize it after hearing more than two hours of arguments from lawyers.

will be attending this year’s Wakarusa Festival. That’s right, SSaa ssss yy tthhee SSaass qquuaattcchh will be enjoying sets from acts including SSTTSS99, UUm mpphh rree yy’’ss M MccG G ee ee, and M Mii cchhaa eell FFrraannttii && SSppee aarrhheeaa dd. In addition to announcing the first of three rounds of artists today, festival organizers also posted a video detailing “The Saga of SSaass ssyy the Sasquatch – Part 1.”

…Which bands do you hope will make a resolution – and actually stick to it – to reunite in 2014? So far, the D D aavviiee ss brothers are once again discussing the possibility of putting aside their differ…Is singer CC ll aayy A Aii kk eenn ences, while CC oouurrttnnee yy LLoovvee hints considering a residency in that something is happening with Congress? Citing those always H Hoollee. trusty anonymous sources, one newspaper reports the American …While performing in Idol runner-up is considering run- Toronto last week, K Kaa nnyyee W W ee sstt ning to represent North Carolina’s made a promise that seems almost Aiikk eenn impossible for the singer/rapper to 2nd Congressional district. A has reportedly consulted with carry out – keeping his mouth shut politicos in Washington, a strate- for six months. “This might be the gist in Raleigh, N.C., and the last time y’all hear me talk shit for W eesstt told the Air Democratic Congressional a long time.” W Campaign Committee, according to Canada Centre audience last week. the Washington Blade, the city’s “Might be another like six months. gay newspaper, says the singer is At least. You’re just gonna have to “actively considering” throwing his run back the interviews and shit if Aiikk eenn is you wanna hear some realness!” hat into the ring and notes A “sounding and acting like a candidate.” …Police in Alabama are investigating the killings of rapper …Looks like Mulberry D Dooee BB.. and another person in a Mountain’s most famous Sasquatch shooting Saturday that also wounded six others inside a bar and grill. Police say the gunfire happened around 1 a.m. about a half-mile north of Alabama State University. Police identified those killed as 21year-old K Kii m mbbeerr llee JJoohh nnss oonn and 22Gll eennnn TThh oom maa ss, both of year-old G Montgomery. They said Johnson was pronounced dead at the scene. Thomas – an up-and-coming rapper known as D Dooee BB. – was taken to Baptist Medical Center South, where he was later pronounced dead. DJ FF rraa nnkk W W hhii ttee of Montgomery, who managed Doe B.’s career, said the shooting took place at Centennial Hill Bar & Grill Dooee BB.. in Montgomery and that D ENIGMA

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wasn’t performing at the time. …Nine music labels are reportedly preparing to sue Russian social networking site Vkontakte, known as the “Facebook Of Russia,” for allowing its users to illicitly stream music by Maaddoonnnnaa , LLiinnkk iinn PPaarr kk, M M Mee ttaa llll iiccaa, BBeeyyoonnccéé and others. Major labels EMI, Sony and Warner Bros. are among the labels planning to unleash hounds of litigation on the website, reports TechCrunch. The labels are expected to sue Vkontakte under a Russian copyright law that originally focused on video but was amended to include music copyright protections. The law calls for site operators to provide “easy-to-find” contact information to facilitate the complaint process and can force ISPs to block traffic if takedown notices aren’t handled in a timely manner. …Located in the heart of Chattanooga’s Southside, Townsend Atelier is a visual art school that offers inspiring art classes and workshops throughout the year for the beginner and for the advanced student. Taught by professional artists and art educators, they offer instruction in painting, drawing, sculpture, print making, mixed media, and a weekly open figure drawing studio. New courses for 2014 are posted below. Pre-registration is required and can be done on-line www. townsendatelier.com or by phone 423-266-2712. Classes tend to fill up quickly so early registration is encouraged. All levels are welcome! If you know any truths, half-truths or outright lies about the music and club scene send it to Sissy Vance c/o rumoursmill@enigmaonline.com.

- Sissy Vance


5 Weird Things Which Where Ceased in Airports Weird things at airports are frequently considered quite important, as it is recognized to be a breach of security. Here are some of the weird things:

Runway in the UK. The security authorities confiscated 90 kgs of dried consumable caterpillars from his gear. He had four suitcases full of these dreadful bugs. One of the weird things of his 1) Seal Head clarification was of the way he asserted that the caterpillars In 2004, airport security halted a were for personal consumption. biology professor at the airport for the possession of an odd 3) Hallodapus Bug: thing. He was carrying the severed head of a harbor seal. As In 2009, The vigilant customs per the professor, he was carry- officers at the Newark Airport, ing this head to show it for aca- New Jersey noticed a Hallodapus demic research purposes. One of bug attempting to sneak into the the weird things is that the edu- premises. As per the US Branch cator was under the impression of Horticulture, this bug could that it is legitimate to transport be exceptionally destructive for animal heads on the plane. the agrarian crops. It was the However, after intensive exami- first time that a Hallodapus bug nation the runway authorities was discovered in the US. It was permitted him to travel, obvi- removed from the spot immediously without the seal head. ately. The business was saved. Well, I believe the security 2) Dried Caterpillars: authorities may as well additionally be provided with vermin On February 23, 2013, a man from control gear. the African nation of Burkina Faso was ceased at Gatwick 4) Transporting Weird Things

Like Corpses Normally: Wierd things happen to families while attempting to get along with the loss of a member. In 2010, a lady was travelling with her little girl from Berlin to Manchester. There was a third traveler with her on this voyage which was her 91-year old dead spouse, Terse Willi Jarant. Jarant was bound to a wheelchair; when asked of her spouse's dozy silence, she informed them that he was an Alzheimer patient under medication. She additionally covered Jarant's eyes with sunglasses, telling them that he was suffering an eye contamination. However, When the officials tried to look at Mr. Jarant, his body was cold. On further examination, they figured out that Jarant was dead. The family has contrived the whole fake plot to evade corpse transportation expenses. 5) Pigeons: Australia has an exceptionally strict approach against animal smuggling. The guilty party could be sentenced up to 16 years in jail and a huge fine. In 2009, an Australian man made an attempt of animal smuggling. He was coming back to Australia from Dubai, when he was halted by the authorities. One of the weird things is that throughout his physique look, security confiscated two live breathing pigeons wrapped around his calves.

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1. Paul McCartney 2. Haim 3. Echosmith 4. Arcade Fire 5. Pearl Jam 6. Wild Child 7. Kings Of Leon 8. The Avett Brothers 9. The Wild Feathers 10. Nine Inch Nails 11. Los Lonely Boys 12. The Head And The Heart 13. U2 14. Imagine Dragons 15. The Infamous Stringdusters 16. Nick Lowe 17. Bruce Springsteen 18. Deer Tick 19. Rosanne Cash 20. Civil Wars

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ADVENTURE PICKS 1. Down Like Silver 2. Robert Ellis 3. Blitzen Trapper


DO WE REALLY NEED A BIG GOVERNMENT IN THE USA? Many folks in different parts of the country see this question, the title of this article, differently. Some believe that we do in fact need a big government because we have a big country and we need the government to help us and take care of us. Others see a big bloated bureaucracy that needs a diet, consumes and borrows vast resources and runs so inefficiently they can't imagine anyone agreeing to feed it anymore taxpayers money, not yours, mine or theirs. Let's talk. The other day, someone who thinks the Tea Party is a bunch of radicals, mostly because our media has maligned the Tea Party explained to me that a big efficient government is the way to go. I disagree actually, mostly due to issues of economics, freedom, liberty, longevity, and cost - and of course, in hindsight of history abroad and in the US.

Feeding a monstrosity and growing blob of bureaucracy like that through tax dollars money stolen from the individual and re-diverted after the wasteful process (35-45% of tax revenues are burned up in the administration of those monies in the US) is unwise. No one should be so na誰ve to believe such methodologies and anti-Six Sigma strategies are feasible long-term or the remote bit "sustainable" I guess is the word you'd prefer used here. Our Federal Government's number one job was to pool the assets of the States for a common defense, our constitution proclaims a strongstate system - not a heavy handed centralized control Federal Government. Thus, due to inefficiencies, overbearing mindset of our broken Washington DC gravytrain at the taxpayer's expense, we need to shrink the blob of bureaucracy to a manageable place, first proENIGMA

viding the mandated obligations prior to add-ons; and things like ObamaCare in the present period are merely proof positive that things are not working. So, until government gets its act together, we need not have them do more.

Builders. You see, I know we need regulations, some government, standardization, common language, currency, and police, fire, and military amongst other things, but too - I am a believer in the power of free-markets and when left alone without crony-capitalism or mass incestuous manipulation they tend to do quite well in creating abundance in the most efficient manner. Please consider all this and think on it. If you care to debate - contact me and we can continue this dialogue in another article.

If the government cannot get out of its own way - and if it isn't working, then it is not needed. Still, even Ludwig van Misses postulates in his book "Bureaucracy" the need for a government to provide basic standardization and stability - things we all agree to. But if it doesn't or cannot perform, then giving it more good money after bad is a Lance Winslow losing proposition only enjoyed by the Bubble

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Enigma Magazine 1/02/14