Voices Heard Winter_2023 ARTING YOUR HEALING JOURNEY

Voices H eard ARTING YOUR HE ALING JOURNE Y

FIRE CIRCLE ENOUGH RISE UP NO ONE WILL EVER SILENCE ME AGAIN ACES ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES AN ODE TO MY FEATHERED FRIENDS MY LIFE IS MY ART. MY ART IS MY DANCE SOULCOLLAGE® SELF-DISCOVERY THROUGH ART JOURNALING THE ART OF NOT PAYING AT TENTION

ARTWORK BY JOANNE KIRVES

VOICES HEARD Winter 2023

EDITORIAL TEAM

CLAIRE O’LEARY

Fo un d e r, Edi to r- in - Chi e f Creative Director SHERYL BLAHNIK

Copy Editor

CONTRIBUTORS

DENISE BOSSARTE D O N N A B U L ATO W I C Z RACHEL GRANT JULIE HART JOANNE KIRVES CLAIRE O’LEARY KARO SKA TERI WELLBROCK

PHOTOGRAPHY

TOMO SAITO

®2023 THE EMPOWERED VOICE, VOICES HEARD ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

INSIDE THE STORIES FROM THE EDITOR ...ART IS HEALING

7

7

Expressing our stories through visual journeys and movement is...

NO ONE WILL EVER SILENCE ME AGAIN

8

8

Snakes squirmed in my tummy.

I didn’t know how to react...

FIRE CIRCLE

14

14

His ghost was ever present. It was his death certificate, marine...

ENOUGH

16

I buried it and moved on. Yes, it popped up...

RISE UP

16 17

My eyes burn as I speak through them...

ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES

17 18

She loved listening to Grandma Kitty sing Beatles songs as she baked something scrumptious...

AN ODE TO MY FEATHERED FRIENDS

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21

21

their wings eat the sky, their beaks...

MY LIFE IS MY ART. MY ART IS MY DANCE Then after years of looking, I finally found the dance...

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22

25 BUILDING RESILIENCE SELF-DISCOVERY THROUGH ART JOURNALING

25

I followed the instructions to the letter. A long-standing habit...

SOULCOLLAGE ®

26

26

I t was a revelation to see that my past included...

THE ART OF NOT PAYING AT TENTION

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29

For some, I could sense the follow up questions. “What! Didn’t this...

RESOURCES BOOKS FOR ADULT SURVIVORS 32

32

Books by survivors and professionals that help...

34 BOOKS FOR KIDS & TEENS

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Books by kids and professionals tor kids, teens and parents...

SHARE YOUR STORY

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Are you looking for a safe space to share...

ONLINE SUPPORT

35 36

Online Support Groups for all...

COACHING RESOURCES

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36

For survivors...

CREATIVIT Y UNLEASHED Unearth the root of your story and accelerate your healing...

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FROM THE EDITOR ...ART IS HEALING

“

Photo by Tomo Saito

Whether it’s poetry, clay, art journaling, dance, fine art, or other creative endeavor, art can be healing. As you’ll read in this issue of Voices Heard, art is often the choice for healing our sexual abuse.

Expressing our stories through visual journeys and movement is a way to get out of our heads to express our thoughts, and feelings, when words often fail us.

Our featured artist on the cover is Joanne Kirves, Clay Artist, and survivor who “found her voice in clay.” The beauty and expression of her work and poetry tells her story and, in the process, she finds healing. Read Fire Circle, Enough, and Rise Up to see how clay and poetry has helped Joanne heal beginning on pg. 14.

Even as a child, Donna Bulatowicz expressed her story through visual arts; helping her to grow and transform through her story at an early age and become the advocate and speaker that she has become. Donna’s article, No One Will Ever Silence Me Again begins on pg. 8.

Teri Wellbrock’s article Adverse Childhood Experiences on pg. 18 shares how she became

the poster child of ACES counting more than 10 Adverse Childhood Experiences, beginning at the age of 5. Learn how ACES affected her and affects all of us.

Our regular contributor, Karo Ska expresses herself through poetry in an ode to my feathered friends on pg. 21, from her book, loving my salt-drenched bones.

Julie Hart surprises us with a video expressing her healing dance form, Nia on pg. 22 in her article, My Life is my Art. My Art is my Dance.

In our Building Resilience section, I include a short article Self-Discovery through Art Journaling that introduces you to a process I use for self-discovery and self-care, pg 25. Denise Bossarte shows us how to heal through SoulCollage,® a way to access our intuition and more on pg. 26. Rachel Grant says it beautifully “to be healed” has everything to do with minimizing our propensity to being triggered and being adept at moving out of that state when it does occur.” in The Art of Not Paying Attention, pg. 29.

As always, the Resources section offers a selection of books and online resources.

Our theme for the April issue is Sexual Abuse Affects Everyone Around Us. Share your wisdom or your stories with me at Claire@ ClaireOLeary.com.

Expressing our

stories through visual

journeys and movement is a way to get out of our heads to express our thoughts, and

feelings, when words often fail us.

7

NO ONE WILL EVER SILENCE ME AGAIN Donna Bulatowicz

8

“

Snakes squirmed in my tummy. I didn’ t know how to react, and I shrugged.

My words had gone away.

Donna Bulatowicz, Redrawn as an adult to better understand my child self and how she felt.

“You

are

the

prettiest

little

girl I’ve ever seen,” my new elementary teacher informed me, resting her strong, rough hand on mine as she knelt in front of my desk. I slipped my small, soft hand out from under hers and glanced quickly at her intense eyes, then away.

I focused on the getting-to-know-you sheet that Karen Smith, my teacher, handed out a few minutes’ prior. I started coloring a pink border around the paper. After introducing herself earlier, she mentioned that she was going to spend time getting to know each of us.

“What do I need to know about you, other than that you’re absolutely gorgeous?” Mrs. Smith asked, grinning, and tucking a strand of her short hair behind her ear. Snakes squirmed in my tummy. I didn’t know how

to react, and I shrugged. My words had gone away.

Her warm hand was suddenly on my cheek, surprising me. “Aww, are you shy, my little girl?” She crooned as she rubbed my soft cheek with her rough thumb. I nodded and moved away from her hand. She told me not to worry, she would come back.

I swallowed hard, kept my head down, and focused on finishing the pink border.

My mind spun and my intuition sounded an alarm. Something felt very off, but I couldn’t articulate what. My skin prickled like it had when the tiger at the Bronx Zoo watched me and mirrored my movements.

My dad joked that it thought I was a tasty little morsel. I pictured my teacher as that prowling tiger and shook my head. I needed to focus on this first assignment, not let my imagination soar.

I worked on the getting-to-know-you paper, filling in my brother’s name, favorite colors, and things I liked to do: read and

write, make arts and crafts, run wild on my grandparents’ farm, ride horses, play with My Little Ponies, She-Ra, Cabbage Patch dolls, and more. I focused on trying to write in my best handwriting so I could impress my new teacher.

“How are you doing, my little girl?”

Mrs.

Smith

suddenly

appeared by my chair, startling me. Her arm rested on the back of my chair, and I scooted forward. She moved her hand to the small strip of skin between my colorful shirt and my acidwashed jeans, tracing a pattern.

I shifted uncomfortably but was out of options to move unless I got off the chair entirely.

Mrs. Smith looked at my paper and asked me questions. I nodded, shook my head, or shrugged in response. I barely paid attention

to her words. Instead, I focused on her warm, rough fingers etching a pattern into my skin, marking me as hers.

The recess bell felt like a physical and spiritual relief. I darted to the door for the first time ever. Since kindergarten, classmates routinely bullied me, often at recess. Mrs. Smith came outside with us, and every time I glanced in her direction, she was looking in mine. We girls gathered near the end of the asphalt, jumping rope, and talking about our new teacher. No one was quite sure what to make of her. One classmate pointed out that I was the only one Mrs. Smith showed any affection.

Mrs. Smith soon inured me to feeling of her hands on my body. She was very physical with me: picking me up under my arms and swinging me around, which thrilled me; tickling me and making me giggle until I cried; pulling me into her arms and/or onto her lap; entwining her fingers in mine; kissing me; and more.

“

I b arely paid

at tention to her words.

Instead, I f ocused

on her warm, rough fingers etching a

pat tern into my skin, marking me as hers.

Donna, upper elementary school

9

“

She cuddled me,

rocked me, and soothed me, whispering

words of love and

reassurance. This 10

began a pat tern that continued throughout the year. She would sexually abuse me,

then shower me with love and affection,

creating the perfect

conditions for a strong trauma bond.

I learned to ignore my intuition and delight in the attention and affection.

She listened to me with her whole heart, used attachment techniques to create a bond, and offered to mentor me and teach me about teaching. I was used to teachers mostly ignoring me because I was obedient and quiet. However, Mrs. Smith actually saw me and treasured me. I thrived and quickly grew to love my new teacher. She proclaimed she loved me deeply.

sexually abuse me, then shower me with love and affection, creating the perfect conditions for a strong trauma bond.

During the third week of school, she told me she wanted to play a game to show me how much she loved me. She closed and locked the classroom door, checked that all the blinds were pulled, and stood me in front of her. She proceeded to annihilate my innocence, betray my trust, and steal the rest of my childhood.

Donna, upper elementary school

I felt like I was underwater.

It was difficult to breathe, to hear, to move, to see, to think.

Time stretched like taffy. She smiled. She looked down at what she was doing and smiled.

My heart shattered, my world disintegrated, and my beloved teacher smiled.

When she finished, she informed me that if I told, no one would believe me, and she’d ruin my life. I looked at her with haunted eyes. At that point, I didn’t have the words to describe even to myself what she had done. She had silenced me again, deliberately this time.

I was in shock and could not process what she did. I forced myself to go to sleep curled up on my chair. Mrs. Smith woke me a while later when the classroom was empty but for us. She startled me so much that I jumped into her arms. She cuddled me, rocked me, and soothed me, whispering words of love and reassurance. This began a pattern that continued throughout the year. She would

In order to survive, I had to bury the memories quickly. Otherwise, how could I stay in that classroom, sitting at the same round table where she bound me with jump ropes and molested me during recess? How could I participate in lessons taught by the person who broke me? Sometimes my body seemed to function without me. My mind, my essence, departed. Dissociation meant survival. I floated through my days like a wounded ghost.

Over the school year, Mrs. Smith sexually abused me hundreds of times; she usually raped me multiple times every school day.

She also abused me mentally and sometimes physically as well, especially if she was mad at me for trying to resist her molestations.

There were times she called my mom and lied about my injuries. “Donna fell off the monkey bars and landed with a bar between her legs.” “Donna fell and landed on the corner of the bookcase.” Since I was not known for being graceful, these were reasonable scenarios.

I am not a perfect survivor. Mrs. Smith was usually tender and gentle when she “made

love to” me (as she called it). She knew how to manipulate my body to get the response she wanted, which she insisted meant that I enjoyed it. Even though I wanted her to stop, it often felt good, which was incredibly confusing and painful for a little girl.

I enjoyed spending time with her when she wasn’t molesting me. I adored the times she did things just to make me smile; like arts and crafts with just me, decorating my hair with a crown of leaves, painting my nails, and more. I basked in the affection and attention she inundated me with; I had never been the center of anyone’s world, and it was intoxicating.

I liked it when she covered my face in kisses

and told me how much she loved me. I felt warm and safe when I curled up on her lap with her arms tight around me and my head resting against her. I turned to her for comfort from the abuse. Only she knew why I needed the affection and reassurance, so only she could reassure me that despite how damaged I felt, I was still loved and lovable. I loved her. I sometimes enjoyed getting away with things, like taking her snack or soda, which would result in an indulgent smile from her. Other times, the lack of boundaries frightened me. I learned to block off the abuse and focus on the love, which I craved and clung to.

One question that always comes up is how she was able to do so much. The principal never walked around the school. She let everyone know she was mentoring me, and I was her teacher’s assistant. She kept me in from recess and lunch, when busy playground or lunch monitors wouldn’t notice one child absent. She kept me in from specials occasionally. She pulled me out of

“

She knew how to

manipulate my body to get the response

she wanted, which she insisted meant

that I enjoyed it. Even though I wanted her to stop, it often felt good, which was

incredibly confusing

and painful for a lit tle girl.

Donna, upper elementary school

11

“

The next school year,

it struck me that she could be molesting another lit tle girl.

12

I mustered up my

courage, excavated deeply entombed

secrets, and I told on

her. I was petrified,

but I didn’ t want Mrs. Smith to harm another lit tle girl.

class sometimes to an empty storage closet or classroom. She had her desk angled so that no one could see behind it unless they were right there, and she had a strategically placed stack of books.

She groomed not only me, but everyone around me. Teachers and students became used to her showering me with affection; whenever she was near me, her hands were on me, and she often kissed me. She picked me up and held me with one hand between my legs, pulled me onto her lap, “adjusted” my clothes, went into the bathroom stall with me, and more, and no one batted an eye. She constantly called me hers: her baby, her baby girl, her child, her heart, etc.

I

tried

to

disclose

through

behavior and words. I became a different child over the course of the school year. I regressed.

I had nightmares, anxiety, a heightened

startle

response,

depression, panic attacks, and more. I withdrew from others.

My

personality

changed.

I

thought I was clear with adults when I told them that Mrs. Smith was too handsy with me and I didn’t like it; that I didn’t want to be around her; that she scared me, etc. No one asked me

entombed secrets, and I told on her. I was petrified, but I didn’t want Mrs. Smith to harm another little girl. I trusted in the justice system to do the right thing. I soon learned that the injustice system focuses more on protecting predators than helping victims.

The police assured me that a woman would never molest a girl. They asked me why I didn’t remember every detail of every incident and in full chronological order. They questioned why I described an incident as if I viewed it from above. They seemed blissfully unaware of trauma’s impacts on the brain during and after traumatic events. Given their disinterest and doubts, I stopped talking. They heard about a handful of incidents. They did not ask me the questions that they would have if a man had molested me. They chose to do only a superficial investigation.

They blamed me when she threatened to harm herself. She got away with sexually abusing me, and then she and her enablers retaliated against me—stalking, harassing, and bullying me—for almost all of my teen years, until I moved over 1,000 miles away.

Luckily, family believed and supported me.

My parents put me in therapy when I told on Mrs. Smith. Therapy for sexual abuse survivors was in its infancy. The therapist helped me deal with my feelings and some memories, but when I asked for dolls to help explain something I couldn’t find words for, she refused. I stopped sharing my memories, and I stuffed everything down deep inside me so that I could survive. I felt silenced again.

why, and I felt even more alone.

In

late

July

and

early

It all stopped at the end of the school year. Even though Mrs. Smith lived nearby, she didn’t risk showing up at my house unannounced. She asked me to stop by hers, but for obvious reasons, I did not. As the months passed, her power over me faded.

August

2022,

I

started

The next school year, it struck me that she could be molesting another little girl. I mustered up my courage, excavated deeply

also had multiple synchronicities happen, including some friends who knew Mrs. Smith talking with me about her. One

having recurring dreams of Mrs. Smith apologizing to me, telling me she loved me, and trying to hug me. I

friend said, “Oh, if Mrs. Smith were here, she’d just love you! You’d be her favorite, and she’d love you so much! You two would be so close.” With all of this happening,

I had to face the fact that I still needed to heal. I had to finally accept and deal with all that she did and the extensive impacts of the abuse. I found my voice and spoke despite the panic and pain. It’s getting easier to share my story.

I’m learning more about the long-term impacts of sexual abuse, complex posttraumatic stress disorder, developmental trauma, and ways to heal. I’m journaling every morning and often at other times.

I participate in talk and EMDR therapy, and I attend meetings with an online support group. I joined survivors’ groups on Facebook.

I am starting to incorporate meditation, mindfulness, and yoga more regularly into my day. I’m learning ways to deal with the flashbacks and accompanying emotions.

I used to be Terified to speak in front of peers. Since I’ve reclaimed my voice and am telling some of my CSA story, that fear has vanished. I’ve shared pieces of my story with friends, family, and strangers. I created and gave a training to preservice teachers. I am modifying it for in-service teachers and other professionals. I want to schedule a visit (and hopefully a training or speaking engagement) with the same police department that so callously dismissed me.

I will also request to train teachers at the same school district where my experiences occurred.

This healing journey is long and often arduous, but I am pleased with my progress so far. I have moved from victim to survivor,

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Dr. Donna Bulatowicz lives in the beautiful state of Montana where she teaches in the educator preparation program at a local university. Her main area of expertise is inclusive children’s literature. She recently completed her term as chair of the Charlotte Huck Book Award for Outstanding Fiction

and I will thrive. I feel freer

for Children.

and lighter since shedding the

You can reach Donna on her Facebook

burden of her secrets.

page, or email Donna.

No one will ever silence me again.

Transformation and Integration by Donna Bulatowicz

13

FIRE CIRCLE

By Joanne Kirves

I came across his stuff while clearing out a closet in my parent’s house.

My Mom was gone, and I was visiting my Dad. It was all that was left of him physically.

His ghost was ever present. It was his death certificate, marine papers, and letters. The letters exchanged between him and my parents. My parents told him he needed to take responsibility for his actions, a DUI. Little did they know he had actions that were far worse. In his letter back, he bragged about getting off on a technicality. He wrote as if my parents were so proud of this accomplishment. ‘You did it, you got off even though you are an alcoholic.’

It was disgusting. He was disgusting.

He was my brother, my abuser.

14

I wanted to take all of his shit and throw it away. I wanted it gone, but it wasn’t mine to discard. So, I left it.

When I shared my story with my therapist, he asked “what would you have done with it?”.

I responded “I would burn it in my Mom’s fire pit.”

“Describe it” he said.

The fire pit was surrounded by rocks placed there by my Mom. It was loaded with dead trees, branches, and leaves.

The pile was high. She didn’t get her last fire, but it beckoned to be burned. It was waiting for me and my trash. With open arms the pit welcomed what I needed to burn. She had been waiting for me and my trash.

“Who’s with you?” He asked.

I pondered who would join me in my circle around the fire.

Kyle, Marie, Laura, Kathy, Cindy, Angie, Carla, Jen, Bonnie, Margot, Brandy, Rachel and Mom.

Joanne Kirves, Fire Circle (view 1)

I could see them all there. Arms locked together, forming a circle of protection, a circle of love, a circle of fierceness.

“Burn it!” He said.

I stood there with my fire circle, my healing tribe.

Most of them didn’t know my story, but yet they were there for me.

I looked around at each face and felt their warmth, encouragement, and strength.

Piece by piece, I tossed them in.

Death certificate – flames shot up high as if to take him away.

The Letters burned blue. Is that the color of evil?

15

Each piece of what remained was thrown into the fire.

The flames danced as is if to say – we are all here to help you destroy the evil.

See these people, they are the ones who love her. You can’t take that away from her.

You are dead. She is alive! She is loved!

We all stand in silence. My tribe.

They each morph into a tree in my forest.

Each with its’ own scars and challenges.

Each one stands tall and supported by each other. Together we create a force that is unbreakable.

My therapist and I spoke about the visualization. “Burn it into your brain as a new memory” he encouraged me.

I returned to my studio and created the first piece in my series, Fire Circle.

It’s where my healing came to life, and I knew I could do it.

Joanne Kirves, Fire Circle (view 2)

ENOUGH

By Joanne Kirves

I buried it and moved on.

Yes, it popped up, but I gracefully stomped it down.

Until one day, it, she, would no longer be ignored.

That little girl had endured Enough!

She said to me…

I have been ignored long enough.

I have been silent long enough.

I have hurt long enough.

I have given all my love away for long enough.

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I’m here and I demand you pay attention to me.

Release me from the dark, cold space of lies, shame and secrets.

Joanne Kirves, Enough (back view)

Bring me into the light and the love.

Release me from the secrets.

Release me from the shame.

Release me from everyone else’s responsibilities.

Release me from the sadness.

Open me to true joy, love and the light.

Show me how to love and care for myself.

Joanne Kirves, Enough (front view)

RISE UP

By Joanne Kirves

I want to yell, “Get Out!”.

I hold back.

My eyes burn as I speak through them but, you don’t want to listen.

“Get out!”

I restrain myself, but you don’t “Get out!”

I can feel the power within me.

I hold back.

I can feel the anger build up.

Joanne Kirves, Rise up (view 1)

“Get out!”

This is my sacred space.

When will I let her voice rise up?

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Joanne has a BFA in Photography & Ceramics and an MA in Arts Administration. She spent three years as an artist before turning to arts administration for 20 years. In 2020 she returned to clay. Art has been vital in her healing journey from CSA.

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Find out more about her on Instagram@ JoanneKirves.

“ I found my voice in clay!“

Joanne Kirves

Joanne Kirves, Rise up (view 2)

ADVERSE CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES Teri Wellbrock

“

She loved listening 18

to Grandma Kit ty

sing Beatles songs as she baked something scrumptious.

But then it all changed ...

Teri 3 years old

I want to tell you a story about this little girl. Hers is the face of ACEs. Have you heard that acronym floating around the mental health arena?

ACEs. Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Her favorite question was “why?” as she sought to understand the world around her. She loved her Grandma Kitty, her earth angel, her saving grace, who was known in her retirement village as The Sunshine Lady.

This sweet child loved singing songs to her Drowsy Doll while gliding through the air on her swing set. She liked to watch her Daddy shoot hoops in the driveway and belly laugh as he tossed her into the air. She was independent and smarter than your average toddler. She was a thinker, a rule follower, always studying and absorbing.

She lived in a nice two family home on the upper level with her mom and dad, with her grandparents occupying the lower unit.

Her parents dressed her in Polly Flinder dresses and saddle shoes, clomping on the wooden steps to the downstairs kitchen every morning as she scurried to snuggle

into her grandmother’s warm embrace. She loved listening to Grandma Kitty sing Beatles songs as she baked something scrumptious.

But then it all changed . . . o Age 5 - sexually molested by 16 year old neighbor o Age 9 - sexually molested by 19 year old neighbor o Age 10 - repeatedly molested by choir director o Age 10 - emotionally abused by nun assigned as school counselor o First 10 years of life – physically abused by father as his mental health deteriorated and mother’s alcohol and drug abuse increased, along with father’s loss of income and struggles with poverty o Age 14 - sexually accosted by religious education director in rectory where she worked in the evenings, helping the priests o Age 16 - lost virginity to date rape o Age 16 - gang attack and sexual assault o Age 17 - sexually accosted by police officer in charge of gang attack investigation

o Age 21 – gun held to her head and coworker stabbed 3 times with a hunting knife during bank robbery o Age 22 – 3 months later, same assailants would return to main office, where she had just moved, only this time the assailant would pull the trigger and murder her co-worker; her 19 year old sister had just gone on break and the girl who was murdered had taken her sister’s place on the teller line; she had run from the bank and was hiding in the row houses behind the bank plaza when she came face-to-face with a second armed assailant who pointed his Luger at her but thankfully the gun misfired.

The next 25 years of her life would be spent battling horrific panic attacks. Night terrors, flashbacks to violent moments stored

in

the

unprocessed

memories

of

her

brain,

painful body memories . . . all reminders of the violations, the betrayals of trust, the torment and cruelty inflicted upon her innocence.

“

Grandma Kitty

Then along came a recommended EMDR.

therapist

who

EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. And it was life-altering.

Over a four year time span she attended ninety-eight sessions of EMDR therapy.

She began to create a coping skills tool box of complementary healing strategies, including practicing Ho’oponopono Hawaiian healing, EFT (tapping), yoga, meditation, mindfulness, and more: You can download the FREE Unicorn Coping Guide.

In 2017, she set out on a mission to share her story of hope with the world. Through speaking engagements; writing a book

She started to create a coping skills tool

box of complementary healing strategies, as well, including practicing

H o’ oponopono

H awaiian healing,

E F T (tapping), yoga, meditation,

mindfulness, and more:

19

(which is still in the works); sharing a monthly newsletter, Hope for Healing; creating a website; writing a blog; working as a therapy dog team with her labradoodle, Sammie, volunteering with kids in school settings; and hosting The Healing Place Podcast in the hopes of reaching 1 million people with stories of hope and inspiration.

This is the story of a little girl.

Hers is the face of ACEs. Hers

Teri Wellbrock is a trauma-warrior, having

is the face of triumph over

survived and thrived after learning to cope

trauma.

20

“

In 2017, she set out

on a mission to share her story of hope with the world.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

is the face of resilience. Hers

And her face is mine.

with her C-PTSD symptoms and 25 years of severe panic attacks by utilizing EMDR therapy, personal research and learned coping skills along with a foundation of faith and positivity. She is currently writing a book, Unicorn Shadows: From Trauma to Triumph – A Healing Guide, about her multiple traumas, with the intent to help others reach their own joyous and peaceful existence via her “story of hope”. She also speaks publicly at trauma-recovery events about her triumph over trauma. Teri is mom to three beautiful children (ages 29, 26, and 16); graduated magna cum laude from the University of Cincinnati with a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology; has written a children’s book, The Doodle with the Noodle, with her daughter, about their Therapy Dog, Sammie the Labradoodle; has created the Sammie’s Bundles of Hope project (bags filled with trinkets of hope donated to children with trauma history); and is producer and host of The Healing Place Podcast. She maintains a blog at unicornshadows.com and writes a monthly newsletter, Hope for Healing. She has most recently released two online courses: her Trauma-Warrior 1-Day Introductory Course; & Be Your Own Hero 10-Day Course. Her life purpose is to make a positive difference in the lives of others and shine a light of hope into dark spaces..

an ode to my feathered friends by karo ska from “loving my salt-drenched bones”

What is it about birds ABOUT THE AUTHOR

that makes me feel

Karo Ska (they/them) is a South Asian & Eastern European non-binary poet, living

like I can fly too?

on unceded Tongva Land. They migrated here in 1996 from Warsaw, Poland. Some of their other work resides in Dryland Lit, Resurrection Magazine, Sobotka Literary

their wings

Journal, Cultural Daily, Ayaskala Magazine, and Marías at Sampaguitas. Their first full-

length collection, loving my salt-drenched

eat the sky, their beaks

bones was released on February 23rd, 2022.

For updates, follow them on Instagram

nibble on clouds, they swallow

@karoo_skaa or check out their website karoska.com.

trees with their songs, their talons

We don’t overcome trauma. We learn to live with how it shaped us.

imbibe omens for the sharp swelling

In loving my salt-drenched bones, karo ska, a bi-racial survivor of child sexual abuse, is not afraid to tackle the topics we rarely

of freedom. what is it about birds

talk about — anxiety, depression, suicide, racism, grief. Ska invites us to swim through

the tumultuous rivers of healing and asks

that makes me feel

that we fall in love with our vulnerabilities.

Through striking images and poignant

like I can fly too? they consume thousands of blue miles under their feathers & never look back. they gnaw waves with their webbed feet, let the current do the rest.

metaphors, ska shows us the power of being our true, authentic selves.

21

MY LIFE IS MY ART. MY ART IS MY DANCE Julie Hart

22

Click on the video to hear Shannon Day’s “Free” and watch Julie Arting her healing journey.

“

My Life is my

Art. My Art is my

Dance. My Dance is Nia, and in Nia we have a guiding principle we call,

“ Dancing Through Life.”

She found the answer to life on the back of the bathroom stall

spent as a professional dancer, founder of SoL Nia and owner of Studio SoL.

The flyer read:

But what is most important here, for my purpose today, is to tell you how this dance healed me.

Nia, a dance of body + mind + spirit + emotions blending elements of tai chi, martial arts, yoga, and modern and ethnic dance.

I discovered it when I was 31 and had already been actively in therapy for and speaking openly about my incest for the previous decade plus.

The first class was in 3 days. So she went to teach her water aerobics class and waited...

Then after years of looking,

door.

She is me. I am her. This is my story of Arting my healing journey.

My Life is my Art. My Art is my Dance. My Dance is Nia, and in Nia we have a guiding principle we call, “Dancing Through Life.”

I’d love to tell you about it — about the 21 years I’ve been practicing Nia, and about the summer I spent in South Africa training for my White belt (Nia is grounded and powered in the martial arts), and about the 6 years I

I finally found the dance I’d been looking for for years and a spiritual teacher I’d been seeking and longing for even more years. All in one body!

And

my

whole

body

said

Hell Yes! At that first class I lie on the floor at the end in savasana, tears streaming down out of

the sides of my eyes and realized I had found the answer to life that I had been seeking.

I went to every class and discovered I am not my emotions.

I tae kwon do’d

blocks and kicks and punches and felt powerfully angry and then turned right around in a circle turn and felt myself in a pink tutu, child’s joy at my twirling self. I listened to my teacher vocalize a hard “No!” while throwing an outer block and just couldn’t make

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Julie Hart has been speaking out against sexual abuse and assault, specifically incest, way before it was “trending.” Since 1999 when she worked as a sexual assault counselor and two of her clients were three-year-old twins, she has believed

that sound.

in the ferocity of the human spirit to live

Until one day I did. It was then and there I knew I could protect myself. So many months after I found my “No!” could I even entertain my “Yes!” which is so much more feminine, vulnerable, trusting. I witnessed it all, allowed it all, let it all be just what it was, no judgment.

violations of one’s body and spirit.

I learned through my body, through the dance, through my teacher that I could protect myself and I could say no and I could set a boundary but I had to learn that first before I could open myself to the vulnerability of saying yes.

There is so much more to tell but I think I’ll let the dance speak for itself.

through, survive and thrive after such

By sharing her story of how she and her six siblings ended the legacy of incest in one generation, Julie hopes to bring courage to others to share their stories. For it is by speaking that we are empowered. It is by fully living that we are free.

“

So many months after

I found my “No!”

could I even entertain my “Yes!” which is so much more

feminine, vulnerable, trusting. I witnessed

it all, allowed it all, let it all be just what it was, no judgment..

23

24

BUILDING RESILIENCE

SELF-DISCOVERY THROUGH ART JOURNALING Claire O’Leary

created. It was a simple stick figure drawing of myself standing in the doorway as a little girl. I’d used yarn to represent the knot in the pit of my stomach as I stood there getting in trouble. But, when I opened my journal, the knot had been torn out of my stomach and was attached to the other page.

In

that

moment,

I

realized

that old knot had finally been removed because of all the work I’d been doing to heal from my own sexual abuse. It led me to share my story in public for the first time and I discovered that several others in the workshop had also been abused.

Claire O’Leary, from her artist book, “Silence No More”

After

the

grounding

I followed the instructions to

meditation, we were to start

the letter. (A long-standing habit

writing or go to the pile of

from my days of abuse, though I

magazines and start flipping

didn’t realize it at the time.)

through

short

until

we

found

something that was brought to our attention — color, a word, phrase,

photo.

“Don’t

think

about it” she said, “just tear out the page.”

When we were done writing and tearing pages, we were to begin gluing things together on the poster board.

The other instruction of note is that we didn’t critique one another’s work the way we had in my graphic design class. We simply looked at each other’s pieces and acknowledged each other. We said “thank you.” Not “it’s beautiful” (even if it was), not “have you considered”… (even if there was room for improvement). Just “Thank You” – a simple acknowledgement and gratitude for the other person.

The process is simple, but getting ourselves grounded through meditation or movement and being in a centered space before we begin the process of art journaling is important for the maximum outcome.

When I was done, I noticed that most of the pages I tore out with the bright green and vibrant red and yellow colors were food. I giggled at myself at first, then I realized that all the food looked fresh and was beautifully arranged and “oh, so appetizing.” Many were deserts made with fresh fruit.

After my collage was completed, I realized that I’d been searching for a healthier way of eating for several months. Well, here it was. :) Adding this method of art journaling to my personal repertoire created many selfdiscoveries. I included the process as part of my workshops for women because I’d had such profound realizations when I used it for myself. In fact, during one of my first workshops, I did the art journaling process along with my students. I closed my journal when my process was complete with no intention of sharing. After everyone had shared, my students wanted to see what I had

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Founder of The Empowered Voice and Voices Heard, Claire O’Leary is a survivor of incest. She created Voices Heard as a safe space for survivors of sexual abuse to share their story so they can shatter the silence of their sexual abuse. She is an advocate, speaker and mentor. Claire’s mission is to lower the average age a CSA (child sexual abuse) suvirvor discloses their abuse from age 58 to age 18.

She is also a Reiki Master, artist, and loves to dance her heart out whenever possible.

Find Claire on Facebook, and Instagram.

25

SOULCOLLAGE® Denise Bossarte

26

Denise Bossarte, Labyrinth Walk

“

I t was a revelation

to see that my past included a much broader range of experience and

emotions than just the abuse.

Creating art has always been a part of my world: from drawing pictures in elementary school for book reports to doing photography as an adult. I was never skilled at a level to make a profession out of it, but I found deep enjoyment in tapping into my creativity and making beautiful things.

Fortunately, I discovered SoulCollage® during my healing journey. “Originated by Seena Frost, SoulCollage® is a process for accessing your intuition and creating an incredible deck of cards with deep personal meaning that will help you with life’s questions and transitions.”

SoulCollage® works with images from a variety of resources—magazines, books, photographs, drawings, and more. My photographer side went nuts when I found another practice that uses images!

SoulCollage® is a real wonder because it allows you to bypass the analytic, critical part of your brain to tap into the intuitive, creative part of your brain. Cutting and gluing the images down together to make a card is playful and fun. The journaling work with the collage you have created is revealing and taps into deeper, bigger wisdom than you realized you had access to. Working with the images by-passes the often critical, judgmental conscious parts of our personality and allows us to connect with the inner sources of inspiration and wisdom often inaccessible to us.

I first heard about SoulCollage® from an artist friend, and we took a workshop together.

The first card I made was an “Inner Artist” card to honor my creative self. She sits on my art table to inspire me and has even gained some paint over time!

books and the adventures they could take me on, pets and the unconditional love they offered, and playing music in the bands at school. It was a revelation to see that my past included a much broader range of experience and emotions than just the

“

I’ ve also made cards about the people

and heros in my life, and for archetypal

energies in play in

Denise Bossarte, Inner Artist Card

The facilitator also asked us to make a happy child card. I was very reluctant to make a card for a happy child, as my childhood abuse had tainted all my memories of childhood to just focus on the negative things that had happened during that time.

But being a self-professed “good student” I took up the challenge.

As I made the card, I started to remember things that gave me joy in my childhood:

abuse. In re-imaging some aspects of my childhood, there was a shift to give that little girl more depth, breadth and appreciation.

Her world became bigger and so did mine.

I’ve also made cards about the people and heros in my life, and for archetypal energies in play in my life’s story: such as a card to

my life’s story: such

as a card to help me

process the grief of a friend’s death, which included coming to

terms with my anger for him not seeking

medical at tention until it was too late.

Denise Bossarte, Happy Child Card

27

help me process the grief of a friend’s death, which included coming to terms with my anger for him not seeking medical attention until it was too late.

I eventually made many aspects of my personality: perfectionist self, resentful self, angry self, transforming self, reslient self.

“

And after several years, made a card for my Abused Child.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Denise Bossarte is an award-winning poet, writer, photographer, and artist.

A certified meditation facilitator, she is also a contemplative arts teacher. As an

The abused child was

IT professional, she

one of the hardest cards

chemistry, an MS in computer science, and a PhD in developmental neuroscience. She is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.

I’ve ever made, but I

Denise spent her adulthood healing herself

wanted to acknowledge 28

from the traumatic impact the sexual abuse had on her life. She is not a mental health professional. She is a Thriver who

and honor that part

has traveled a healing journey and shares personal, guided experiences for readers

of myself and have a representation of her to help focus

my compassion and

forgiveness for her as part of my healing journey.

works for a large

urban school district. Denise holds a BA in

to find and engage in their own journey to healing, and becoming Thrivers. Thriving After Sexual Abuse is a winner of 16 book awards and was recognized by Kirkus Denise Bossarte, Abused Child Card

Reviews feature in the “30 Great Indie Books

The abused child was one of the hardest cards I’ve ever made, but I wanted to acknowledge and honor that part of myself and have a representation of her to help focus my compassion and forgiveness for her as part of my healing journey.

I have learned a lot and healed a lot working with my cards. And enjoy the process so much I became a trained facilitator so I can share this wonderful gift with others.

Worth Discovering” March 2022 edition.

Whether writing about overcoming trauma in her nonfiction work or recasting her reallife experiences into award-winning dark urban fantasy in four novels—Glamorous, Beginnings, Return, and Readings—Denise tackles the dark side of things with courage, fearlessness, and compassion.

Denise has also published other articles in Voices Heard: Yoga: A Self-Healing Practice for Survivors in the Summer 2021

I highly recommend exploring SoulCollage®

for

a

way

to

be creative and get to know

issue; Meditation: A Self-Healing Practice for Survivors in the Fall 2021 issue. We’re excited to have her back with this 3-part series about working with the energy of

yourself better.

anxiety. Stay tuned for parts 2 & 3.

Online and in-person classes/workshops are given by trained facilitators around the world, so you can find a SoulCollage® class that fits with your schedule.

Also see us on the Building Resilience Live Podcast.

THE ART OF NOT PAYING ATTENTION Rachel Grant

Fizkes, IStock Royalty Free Image

In the span of one week, five different people asked if I had watched the Michael Jackson documentary and Oprah follow up. Each one of them were somewhat

shocked

when

I

replied, “Nope, my off hours are ‘abuse free’ zones.”

For some, I could sense the follow up questions. “What! Didn’t this happen to you? I would think you’d be interested then!

Don’t you care about these men’s’ stories?”

When Jocelyn emailed to share what watching the documentary had prompted in her, I agreed to share more about why I chose not to watch it.

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I was desperate to heal. I devoured books and movies and articles and radio shows (pre-podcast days!) that had anything to do with trauma. I needed to hear the stories of others who had been abused to help me connect the dots of own story, to feel like I wasn’t out of my damn mind, to get little jolts of hope and courage to keep me going. And for sure, even though I didn’t know it, I was experiencing triggering and activation at the same time. But at the

time, the benefits of not feeling so alone in my pain far outweighed the costs to my nervous system.

As my life journey evolved, and the title “Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach” was appended to my name, my relationship to these stories shifted. I began listening through the lens of does this confirm or challenge what I now know and have experienced. Does this add a layer of perspective or understanding, does this give me an additional way of speaking about trauma that might land well with my clients?

Stories became more about research and data rather than my own healing. At the same time, I noticed that the level at which I would feel triggered had declined exponentially, so in a way, this viewing began to confirm the reality of my growth and healing as well.

As my confidence grew, and I became more established in trusting in my process and program, I noticed that my interest in these sorts of resources waned.

As my hours during the week became focused on holding space for the wounds of my clients, I became less willing to hold space for stories that came to me through the screen. For me, the gift of presence I give to my clients is bolstered by creating spaces for myself that are trauma free.

“

Does this add a

layer of perspective or understanding,

does this give me

an additional way

of speaking about

trauma that might land well with my clients?

29

Antonio Guilem, IStock Royalty Free Image

Now, this isn’t a hard and fast rule. For example, I just watched Dee Williams’ documentary, Individual Audacity, and now she and I have become fast friends and meet every month to explore how we can support each other’s missions.

But overall, not paying attention

“

30

For me, the gift of

presence I give to my clients is bolstered by creating spaces for

myself that are trauma free.

has become an art for me.

I keep my finger on the pulse of things happening in the world of awareness, activism, stories that break the silence and attack shame and stigma. But I pay very little attention to the details.

With all of that said, I wholeheartedly agree that “to be healed” has everything to do with minimizing our propensity to being triggered and being adept at moving out of that state when it does occur.

I believe the greatest act of self-care occurs when we never do something because we think (or others think) we should.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rachel is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach. Rachel holds a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology and is the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse and Overcome the Fear of Abandonment. You can download both free on her website.

She works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse to help them let go of the pain of abuse and finally feel normal.

While there are exceptions, we

Her

have the opportunity to be the

specifically designed to change the way we

curators

of

the

information,

program,

Beyond

Surviving,

is

think about and heal from abuse. she has successfully used this program to help her

music, data we take in. We get

clients break free from the past and move

to choose when, if, how much,

on with their lives.

or not at all. In this way, we

Reach Rachel here or on Facebook.

claim one of the biggest gifts of healing...choice.

So, I’m off to watch Alice in Wonderland for the umpteenth time and look forward to your thoughts, questions, and reflections!

SUPPORTING SURVIVORS

31

RESOURCES: BOOKS FOR ADULT SURVIVORS the impact sibling abuse has on survivors, provide tools to help them begin their healing journey and emphasize that survivors can leave the past behind and build happy lives ahead.

32

Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse by Rachel Grant. Author Rachel Grant brings to the table a passionate belief that you do not have to remain trapped or confronted daily by the thoughts or behaviors that result from abuse. Through her own journey of recovery from sexual abuse, she has gained insight and understanding about what it takes to overcome abuse.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity.

Forgiving The Nightmare, by Pastor Mark Sowersby begs the questions “How do you forgive when you’ve been wounded deeply?” “How do you move past the pain that keeps you up at night, leaves you isolated, untrusting, and afraid? How can you possibly forgive them, especially when they don’t deserve forgiveness?”

Glorious Awakenings, My Journey of God’s Healing by Chris Cline is about her journey of God’s healing from sexual abuse. It shares the abuse and the path she took to heal – God redeeming the pieces of her that were broken emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. Chris says “It is a beautiful story of how Jesus saved me – how my journey healed me and brought me to a closer relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.”

Healing My Life: From Incest to Joy by Donna jenson. A deeply personal story that explores the sexual violence Jenson endured at the hands of her father, the refusal of her family to acknowledge her pain, and a rocky escape as a teenager from the Midwest to start anew in sixties-era California.

Jenson writes with her sense of humor firmly intact, reminding us that joy is possible in the face of great pain. Poignant, brave, and helpful, Healing My Life offers a much-needed testimony for anyone affected by childhood sexual abuse.

Healing Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Very Personal Story by Hannah Louise Cartwright RN, MA Memoir and self-help book for adult survivors of sibling sexual abuse written by a psychotherapist. Her book tells the personal story of recovering from sexual abuse at the hands of a sibling. Cartwright aims to help victims understand

The Journey of the Heart by Anna Cley. From floating boxes to lifesaving riddles to an enlightened mirror, The Journey of the Heart is a timeless tale that speaks to the inner child in us all.

The Journey of the Heart offers heartfelt assurance that no matter what circumstances we are born into, our future is ours to write.

Loving My Salt Drenched Bones

by Karo Ska. Karo Ska delivers an ensemble of poetic magic in her highly anticipated book, loving my salt-drenched bones.

Ska’s mastery of emotional and interpersonal subject matter takes the reader on a journey into the bright side of darkness filled with love, heartache, joy, and the poetic tone that only Ska can manifest.

The MindBody Toolkit by Kim Deramo, D.O. Ten Tools to Instantly Increase Your Energy, Enhance Productivity, and Even Reverse Disease.

The MindBody Toolkit explains the science behind the mind-body connection and gives you 10 tools you can use anytime, anywhere to activate self-healing and awakening now!

Miss America by Day by Marilyn Van Derber. Former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derber, tells the story of how she was sexually violated by her father from age 5 to age 18. She was 53 years old before she was able to speak the words in public: “I am an incest survivor.”

Van Derbur describes in detail what specific “work” she did on her successful journey from victim to survivor.

My Pain is My Power by Tanisha Bankston. Tanisha’s life changed before it began at the age of 5 or 6 years old when she was raped by a friend of the family and she wasn’t believed. The damage caused her to have to relearn how to walk. Her pain continued through adulthood before she could finally enjoy life.

Shattered Innocence by Darlene J. Clark. Abuse happens too often.

Back in the 1960’s, it was taboo to speak about this - especially the sexual abuse. “Shattered Innocence” takes us on Darlene’s journey of discovery and healing.

Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma Second Edition by Vernon R. Wiehe Often excused by parents as `kids will be kids’ behavior, sibling abuse remains largely unrecognized. Symptoms of such abuse and its devastating effects on victims go undetected, victims do not receive appropriate therapeutic intervention, and transgressors do not come to the attention of the courts.

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Confronting America’s Silent Epidemic by Brad Watts. This book is written by a counselor who rehabilitates offenders. The author gives insight into sibling sexual abuse—the causes, the effects and the devastating statistics.

Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Your Bondage to the Past and Live a Life You Love by Denise Bossarte. This book is an eloquent and empathetic selfdevelopment book laying out a blueprint for survivors to heal themselves. Bossarte writes with fierce candor as she shares her own traumatic experience with childhood sexual abuse.

The Ugliest Word by Annie Margis tells the story of a little girl named Lark whose father is molesting her, as she navigates childhood, and the woman she becomes. An aspiring writer and artist, Lark’s spunk and creativity buoy her as the abuse progresses.

The Ugliest Word is for those who survived childhood incest and for everyone who loves a survivor, is friends with or works with one.

33

BOOKS FOR KIDS & TEENS

34

Victim 2 Victor by Anu Verma.

This inspiring and brutally honest memoir details the struggle for survival and the search for healing and happiness. Raised in abuse and navigating through consequences, a young, broken soul finds the strength to embark on a journey to reclaim her self-worth. Her inspiring journey is a lifelong struggle to find self-worth on the ruins of self-esteem.

What Do I Do Now? A Survival Guide for Mothers of Sexually Abused Children (MOSAC) by Mel Langston PhD and Leona Puma.

What do I do now? is a mother’s cry after she learns her child has been sexually abused. A mother’s belief in her child’s disclosure and her active support and protection after disclosure are essential to recovery from the horror of sexual abuse.

30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 8-11: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy

by Educate and Empower Kids.

This is a series that helps you discuss sex education as a family.

Having these talks with your child will establish a pattern of healthy conversations for the future. As you move through the discussions, these interactions will gain depth and your relationship will strengthen. Your child will become more comfortable talking to you about anything as he or she grows into the healthy, knowledgeable person he or she will become.

Ascend, a Zine for teen survivors of sexual assault and friends.

Ascend supports young people who are survivors of sexual assault.

Cory Helps Kids Cope with Sexual Abuse First Edition by Liana Lowenstein This therapeutic story and collection of creative activities are designed to help children cope with sexual abuse and trauma. Therapeutic games, art, puppets, and other engaging techniques address the eight components of TF-CBT (TraumaFocused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Includes a reproducible story, assessment and treatment activities, and detailed parent handouts. Geared to children aged 4 to 12.

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds by Kristen A. Jenson (Author), Debbie Fox (Illustrator) It’s not if our kids come across pornography, it’s when. This is a great book for parents to read to kids about why pornography can be harmful.

I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private

by Kimberly King and Zack King (Authors) and Sue Rama (Illustrator) Helping kids set healthy boundaries for their private parts can be a daunting and awkward task. Written from a kid’s point of view, I Said No! makes this task a lot easier.

Good Pictures Bad Pictures

by Kristen A Jenson (Author) and Debbie Fox (Illustrator). A comfortable way to talk with your kids about pornography.

This newly revised edition of the original bestseller from Defend Young Minds makes that daunting discussion easy! Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a read-aloud story about a mom and dad who explain what pornography is, why it’s dangerous, and how to reject it.

Let’s Talk About It by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan. The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human. Inclusive,

KIDS & TEENS CONT. accessible and honest graphic novel guide to growing up, from gender and sexuality to consent and safe sex. Perfect for any teen starting to ask questions.

Please Tell: A Child’s Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps) by Jessie Written and illustrated by a young girl who was sexually molested by a family member, this book reaches out to other children in a way that no adult can, Jessie’s words carry the message, “It’s o.k. to tell; help can come when you tell.

Repair for Kids: A Children’s Program for Recovery from Incest and Childhood Sexual Abuse by Margie McKinnon (Author), and Tom W. McKinnon (Illustrator) R.E.P.A.I.R is Recognition, Entry, Process, Awareness, Insight, and Rhythm. Enter a Six-Stage Program with your child to cross the Bridge of Recovery and make available a whole new world of hope.

Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept by Jayneen Sanders (Author), and Craig Smith (Illustrator).

A beautifully illustrated children’s picture book that sensitively broaches the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch.

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SHARE YOUR STORY Tootles the Turtle Tells the Truth

by Lenell Levy Melancon. This is a lovely book that playfully walks a child through a story about someone scaring a child into not telling. The characters ask interactive questions at the end of the book to engage readers in a candid discussion of good, bad and scary secrets.

Are you looking for a safe space to share your stor y?

Share your stor y in Voices Heard, the interac tive e -Zine that emp owers you to S H AT T E R YO U R S I L E N C E .

BE ONE OF THE VOICES HEARD! O ur theme for the April issue is Se xual Abuse Af fec ts Eve r yone Arou nd Us.

SUBMIT NOW

ONLINE SUPPORT

COACHING RESOURCES FOR SURVIVORS

ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR SURVIVORS: 1 in 6 sponsors free anonymous chat-based support groups for male survivors of sexual abuse seeking a community of support.

Sessions are offered Monday through Friday. These written chat (no audio or video) groups focus on education and mutual support for males and are facilitated by a counselor.

Complicated Courage is a website and blog for sibling sexual abuse survivors.

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Healing PTSD Naturally iKathryn Berg, of Lotus Homeopathy offers support on Facebook for people who suffer from PTSD to help them discover natural methods of dealing with PTSD, no matter what the cause. This group supports all trauma not only sexual abuse survivors.

HelpRoom Offered by 360 Communites an affiliate of RAIIN, HelpRoom is an anonymous online group chat option that allows members of the community who have been affected by sexual violence to connect with one another.

Trained staff facilitate group discussions to ensure a safe environment for all visitors to discuss topics and experiences related to sexual violence.

Hidden Water Healing Circles meet weekly — either in-person or online — and are designed to enable participants to find the growing edge of their healing alongside others who have had similar experiences with childhood sexual abuse.

Incest AWARE is a group for those working to end incest and help survivors of incest abuse to heal.

The Incest AWARE Facebook was born following a large meeting of incest prevention advocates, healers, and authors who came together in February 2021 to talk about the opportunities and challenges we face today in our efforts to prevent incest.

Isurvive is an online abuse survivor support group. Their forums/chat rooms are open to adult survivors and their loved ones seeking to heal from all forms of abuse including sexual, physical, verbal, emotional and ritual.

The Lamplighter Movement is dedicated to recovery from incest and child sexual abuse. They have chapters located throughout the US that organize groups for survivors.

National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse NAASCA has a list of recovery groups and services worldwide for adult survivors of abuse, including incest. Their online daytime recovery meetings are an open discussion forum about child abuse trauma and recovery and are hosted by volunteer members.

Sexual Assault Advocacy Network (SAAN) Facebook Group was founded to support the people who support sexual violence survivors. Their active Facebook group connects survivoradvocates who are working to support other incest and other sexual abuse survivors, change policy and raise awareness.

Survivors Of Childhood Trauma is a friendly Facebook group that offers help and advice to fellow survivors from all walks of life.

Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) is a 12-step recovery program for adult survivors of incest. They offer a range of peersupport groups including virtual, phone and in-person – all free of cost. Their website also contains resources and information of interest to incest survivors.

Tail of the Bell is geared toward adult survivors of incest. It will soon be offering peer-to-peer incest survivor facilitated groups called YANA. Participants will become members of small groups of 6-8 survivors maximum who will meet weekly in a virtual space to offer mutual support and guidance.

Wings Support Groups offers a variety of virtual and in-person groups in the Denver Metro area.

Wings supports adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse to live their fullest, healthiest lives as they speak about, heal from and thrive beyond CSA trauma.

SUPPORT FOR FAMILIES OF SURVIVORS M*OASIS Support (Mothers* Of Adult Survivors of Incest and Sexual Abuse) is a resource website and blog for anyone looking to understand how to support a survivor of incest and sexual abuse.

StopSO Support for Families Online Group is a safe and supportive space for family members of a sexual offender or for family members of someone who is worried that they may cause sexual harm. (StopSO also provides services for those at risk of offending and concerned about their thoughts or behavior.).

SEARCHABLE DATABASE Psychology Today’s website has a “Find a Therapist” directory of therapists, psychiatrists, treatment centers and support groups located throughout the US that is searchable by city or zip code.

RAINN’s National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones resources and references NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center) has compiled a list of linkable websites and resources offering support and help for survivors, which includes links to support groups.

BEYOND SURVIVING Beyond

Surviving,

is

specifically

designed to change the way we think about and heal from abuse. Rachel Grant has successfully used this program to help her clients break free from the past and move on with their lives.

HOPE FOR HEALING ACADEMY Teri Welbrock provides a space for trauma-warriors to engage in hope and healing strategies. Her mission is to shine a light of hope onto the healing path and offer a guiding hand to hold as you travel a hope-filled journey.

Learn about coping strategies, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs), resilience, the healing powers of hope, positivity, mindfulness, and so much more.

At the conclusion of these courses, you will have a better understanding of steps you can take to create your own Hope for Healing journey so that YOU can welcome a life filled with joy and tranquility.

THE GET CLEAR METHOD Lori Pitts, founder of Still Whole Wellness, developed the Get Clear Method to help clients identify how their lives were impacted by trauma while setting realistic goals that promote healing. Using holistic methods like trauma coaching, Reiki healing, guided meditation, oracle readings, as well as hosting classes, webinars, and healing circles, clients of Still Whole Wellness have amazing success.

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YOU WILL:

I NS BEG , 2023 IL 24 R o P A ed t it n lim S o i t a ENT isttr Reg 9 STUD

• Heal with a small group of women like yourself who are committed to healing their sexual abuse • Create an artist book or art of your choice using simple, effective techniques • Learn how to be vunerable yet powerful as you share your story

ACCELERATE YOUR HEALING JOURNEY • Learn simple practices for when you get triggered • Share your needs and desires confidently at home and in business • Reclaim who you are at the core and love yourself completely

Your Workshop Leader:

Claire O’Leary has been offering peer lead creative workshops for sexual abuse survivors and helping them find their voice since 2010. Founder of The Empowered Voice and Voices Heard, Claire‘s objective is to lower the average age a CSA (child sexual abuse) suvirvor discloses their abuse from age 58 to age 18. She created Voices Heard as a safe space for survivors of sexual abuse to share their story so they can shatter the silence of their sexual abuse.

R E C L A I M Y O U R C R E AT I V I T Y T O A C C E L E R AT E Y O U R H E A L I N G J O U R N E Y www.empoweredvoicetravelingexhibit.com/creativity-unleashed/

Voices Heard shatters the long held silence of sexual abuse survivors through story-telling and expressive arts.