Voices Heard Summer/Fall 2023 NATURE NURTURES

Voices H eard I N T E R AC T I V E E Z I N E | SU M M E R / FA L L 2 02 3

N AT U R E N U R T U R E S

HOPE FOR A FUTURE HOPE FOR A FUTURE TORNADO IN MY MIND, IN MY MYTORNADO MOUTH FULL OFMIND, BEES MY MOUTH FULL OF BEES HEALING MY INNER CHILD, HEALING MYGIRL INNER CHILD, A BEAUTIFUL WHO A BEAUTIFUL WHO LOVED TO CLIMBGIRL TREES LOVED TO CLIMB TREES THE BUT TERFLY, THE SNAKE, THETHE BUTBEE TERFLY, THE SNAKE, AND AND THE BEE MY HEALING SPACE MY HEALING SPACE YEAR OF THE INNER CHILD: NATURE MY EXPERIENCE AT THE SAPREA RETREAT:

The Japanese Garden, Portland OR Photography by Claire O’Leary

VOICES HEARD

Summ e r/ Fall 2023

EDITORIAL TEAM

CLAIRE O’LEARY

Fo un d e r, Edi to r- in - Chi e f Creative Director SHERYL BLAHNIK

Copy Editor

CONTRIBUTORS

RACHEL GRANT DAVID IRVIN MYKI JONES KESA KIVEL CLAIRE O’LEARY SIERRA SCOT T MARY WHEELAN

PHOTOGRAPHY

TOMO SAITO

®2023 THE EMPOWERED VOICE, VOICES HEARD ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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INSIDE THE STORIES FROM THE EDITOR: NATURE NURTURES

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I’ve noticed that many survivors explore nature as…

HOPE FOR A FUTURE

8

8

This was one of the most exciting times of my life, when youth, energy, and a hunger for exploration…

TORNADO IN MY MIND, MY MOUTH FULL OF BEES

14 14

I politely mumble with my mouth full of bees, how we’ll…

HEALING MY INNER CHILD, A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WHO LOVED TO CLIMB TREES

16

It was as though colors started becoming duller as if someone had put a filter…

THE BUT TERFLY, THE SNAKE, AND THE BEE

16 18

When Spirit speaks, listen, no matter what you are…

WATER AND MORE­— WHAT HELPS ME HEAL

18

19

Nature of any kind is one of my favorite ways of healing.

But water…

MY HEALING SPACE I am the growth of a spring flower, sprouting with birth and bloom…

19

20

20

22

BUILDING RESILIENCE YEAR OF THE INNER CHILD: NATURE

22

With little effort, I can allow nature to fill…

MY EXPERIENCE AT THE SAPREA RETREAT: FOR FEMALE SURVIVORS OF INCEST AND CSA 24

24

To be with people who understood on some level the fundamental…

YEAR OF THE INNER CHILD— LIVE: NATURE

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I’m noticing that as I bring this place of ’just grace and compassion’ into my relationship, it starts…

RESOURCES BOOKS FOR ADULT SURVIVORS 30

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Books by survivors and professionals that help…

BOOKS FOR KIDS & TEENS

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Books by kids and professionals tor kids, teens and parent…

SHARE YOUR STORY

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From your journal to the pages of Voices Heard. Share your story in the next issue…

ONLINE SUPPORT

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34

Online Support Groups for all…

IF SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS IN CRISIS… If you or someone you know is in immediate danger and needs…

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FROM THE EDITOR: NATURE NURTURES

By Claire O’Leary

Photo by Tomo Saito

I’ve noticed that many survivors explore nature as a healing tool.

The articles in this issue of Voices Heard explore nature as a healing element. Each story explores the wonder of nature and how it has been part of each survivor’s healing.

I’m always fascinated by the stories shared with us and find healing in each. I hope you do as well.

David Irvin, writes an extraordinary story of youth, bravery and a hunger for exploration in Hope For the Future, pg. 8. An anonymous writer shares a spellbinding piece called Tornado in my Mind, My Mouth Full of Bees on pg.14. Myki Jones treats us to another one of her healing stories in Healing my Inner Child, A Beautiful Girl Who Loved to Climb Trees on pg.16. Mary Wheelan shares her charming poetry in The Butterfly, the Snake, and the Bee on pg. 18. Claire O’Leary shares personal insights about healing in Water and More–What Helps Me Heal on pg.19. Sierra Scott shows us the endless beauty of nature in her poetry, My Healing Space, on pg.20.

Rachel Grant comes through again in the Building Resilience section with Year of the Inner Child: Nature, on pg. 22 and the FacebookLive version Year of the Inner Child—Nature on pg. 26 through both video

and storytelling to remind us how healing nature is. Whether you prefer print or video, the option is yours on this one. Also in this section is new writer for us, Kesa Kivel, sharing her healing experience through a retreat in My Experience at the Saprea Retreat: for Female Survivors of Incest and CSA on pg. 24. As always, the Resources section offers books for teens and young adults and links to online resources for kids, parents, and adult survivors.

Our theme for the next issue will be “Our Stories—an open forum for survivors, relatives, or others affiliated with survivors of incest and CSA.” Share your wisdom and your stories with me at Claire@ClaireOLeary.com.

View Past Issues of Voices Heard

A reminder that the one and only printed issue of Voices Heard (thus far) is still available for purchase for only $30. It would make a lovely gift for another survivor or those associated with survivors.

Check it out.

“ I’m always fascinated by the stories shared with us and find healing in each.

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HOPE FOR A FUTURE

By David Irvin

The iconic shot in Alaska taken literally minutes . . . or less . . . before David’s mishap that nearly killed him.

“

8

This was one of the

most exciting times of my life, when youth,

energy, and a hunger for exploration coursed through my veins. I t

We were almost agape at the late

afternoon

mountaintop

splendor that was Southeast Alaska.

That was my opening line in a short novel I wrote 34 years ago, called “Alaska High.”

I didn’t have to look up that sentence, I remembered it from heart, even all these years later.

The book was never published, just like virtually everything I’ve ever created, but was close and personal to me. It was a true account of the ordeal I went through getting rescued from a dire situation and near fatal injuries.

was also a dark time,

The opener is striking to me because it is simple but from the heart. I still feel the imagery that was so real while writing that, and many other lines that were even more descriptive.

but me.

One-third of a century later, I’ve looked back on this writing for both its’ reverence for nature and its’ awe and recognition of the danger of it and realized that I have changed very little.

unbeknown to anyone

This was one of the most exciting times of my life, when youth, energy, and a hunger for exploration coursed through my veins. It was also a dark time, unbeknown to anyone but me. I was doing a pretty good job of trying to bury it, but it was still all too fresh in my mind to effectively mask it.

In January 2021, Voices Heard published my story, about how I had been raped, dominated, and controlled for weeks in the fall of 1988 while I was age 21 and 22. The events of Alaska High took place just a few months after the rape.

It is fascinating to explore this piece now, because it can be viewed allegorically, laced with the cynicism, and daring that I adopted because of my sexual assaults. It has become clear to me that the daring I began to practice reached a crescendo that nearly mirrored a more accurate description as “suicide.”

The distracting peace and beauty of our natural world helped me during a challenging time to forget something terrible and in helping me to bury it for what would prove to be decades, it almost buried me along with it. Today, the same calling of Nature has helped me through my healing process and to a new level of adult consciousness and peace that I had never thought possible.

I am a forester in my day job because of the fascination and reverence I have always had for our woods, regardless of where they are. When many other international tourists are picking up guides to the best sites for tours, the first books I gravitate toward are the nature guides, so I can begin to learn about the amazing spectacles I’m about to see in a foreign land. Instead of castle tours or attractions, I’m reading about local tree identification and birds.

David “burn boss,” from back as he supervises a controlled burn, 2018

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My career helps me to be a combination of a forest ecologist, a wildlife habitat manager, a wild-land firefighter, a sustainable harvester of forest products for society, and a teacher and outreach specialist—all rolled into one. I am a very fortunate person to have a career that I feel is important and makes a difference in our world, as well as something that I heartily believe in. To me, our forests and natural environment are of critical scientific importance, but they are also of spiritual importance. Never do I feel closer to God than in undeveloped surroundings as the birds sing, tree frogs chirp, breezes waft through tree crowns high above me, and a stream trickles gently past.

To me, this is not a great escape, it is, simply put, what it’s all about. It is the essence of life and spirit itself, the pinnacle of my existence, rather than what merely enhances life.

As a small boy growing up in Virginia, before I ever experienced sexual assaults or even knew what that meant, I learned to cope with bullying and a very strict, controlling father.

Watching a burn with Helene, the head statewide forest protection programs.

“Helene started work with our agency the same day I did over 26 years ago. We matured in our careers together and have always been best friends. When I first began to come to terms with my sexual assaults and get involved with Jan Doe NO More (JDNM). Helene was my only friend who knew about it and followed my progress from the beginning.”

I found that I could escape even beyond my backyard, to the woods behind, and be sheltered from everyone and everything. This grew into an obsessive fascination with everything I found around me.

A curious mushroom. A strange bird call. A camouflaged turtle creeping along as fast as it could muster! A shed deer antler on the ground, with the points gnawed down by calcium-seeking rodents.

I was hooked.

“

…we can go home from the woods

understanding how 10

fundamental and

primal it is to be a

survivor, and realize

more than ever that we

are important, we have a place in the world,

and we can and should make our mark.

I became the kid who would walk right up to a large black snake that church elders were debating one another furiously about trying to figure out what to do. They would look on in horror as a skinny boy simply picked it up. Not only did I remove it to safety, but managed to squeeze in a quick educational lecture on how it was a black rat snake as opposed to a black racer because of the rougher, keeled scales instead of smooth scales. No one wanted to caress its skin, and everyone seemed content to accept my claim.

David about age 9 on a small hilltop overlooking his hometown of Rocky Mount, Virginia.

Hiking and nature were always a part of him, and it’s when he’d smile the biggest! This little hike was a foretelling of his future.

The woods even became my refuge during a kidnapping attempt when I was a 17-year-old jogger. Instead of viewing the dark, dense brush, trees, and canopy as scary and a little foreboding, it was where I ran. I could hide in many places, and I knew my way around local stretches of forest like no street creepster would.

This quite literally may have saved my life.

Nature is particularly special to us, and I have pondered this a lot lately. It is pure and clean, but also raw and edgy, very much like Survivors. It is our world, presented as it is, without exposition or apologies to anyone. There are no lies, only unfiltered truth.

Everything we see in Nature…is itself a survivor. Every tree, plant, animal. They exist before us by surviving, often overcoming unseen hardships—fire, drought, bark damage by a porcupine, insect attack—and competition with others of their kind. The whole world around us is made up of survivors.

To us, they look beautiful in their picturesque settings with the soft hues of sunlight reaching through the forest canopy, but the reality is that each plant, animal, fungi…is a hardcore survivor.

Nature provides nurturing, but it also provides important lessons. We survivors can learn so much from it. We are not apart from Nature. We are a part of it. The sooner this is accepted, the sooner we can understand our place in this world to a depth that so many never do. Our

natural environment can teach us that we are one with it, that we are survivors like the whole world of throbbing, breathing life around us. Knowing this, we can go home from the woods understanding how fundamental and primal it is to be a survivor, and realize more than ever that we are important, we have a place in the world, and we can and should make our mark. These are lessons that I take home from a peaceful tract of woods on a sunny afternoon. Important messages are all around us if only there is someone to listen.

negativity and horror as well, even as the trauma was occurring. When being abused, my mind would often go to my favorite natural places, and imagine the sights and sounds, the sweet smells. I would exist in these thoughts until it was over. This became nearly a form of protective meditation.

Beyond these philosophical messages, immersion into Nature has been an inadvertent process that is unparalleled to me in both forgetting…and remembering

Along with forgetting, was reminiscing.

Memories in pleasant environments were key in helping me to bury trauma and replace with happier imagery.

In a sense, active trauma taught me the art of meditation and sweeping the garbage from the mind, clearing thoughts.

“

…We can go home

from the woods

understanding how fundamental and

primal it is to be a

survivor, and realize

more than ever that we

are important, we have a place in the world,

and we can and should make our mark.

Dave is standing by a state forest red oak champion, Morris, CT

at the same time. It helped protect me from trauma until I was ready to confront it and heal. And when that time came, it helped me through that, as well.

Reminisce,

The forgetting is the easy part to understand.

The forest helped me to bury my trauma in pleasant thoughts that were abstract, and emotion-based. It was a diversion from

This provided me with a source of positivity and hope at a time above all other times in my life when there was none.

divert,

replace,

forget. Not necessarily always in the same order.

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“

While my recent

sexual assaults had 12

in an indirect way nearly killed me

during the daredevil months that followed, the same event put

me on a new path and helped me effectively cover up those times

until an unspecified point in the future.

David marking trees for a thinning a few years ago.

In my case, there came the additional benefit of a lifelong career built in the source of my escape, the natural environment. There was tremendous solace in working for a cause greater than myself alone. It provided purpose, focus, direction. It was the best kind of motivation and distraction. When you work for goals that you personally believe in, it builds an immersive sort of confidence. Anything that builds confidence is very good to protect your mental and emotional self in the short run, and to heal later when your time is right.

indirect way nearly killed me during the daredevil months that followed, the same event put me on a new path and helped me effectively cover up those times until an unspecified point in the future. That time was 2018. In many respects, this was the second time I died and was reborn, thanks to my discovery of the advocacy and educational nonprofit, Jane Doe No More during the #metoo movement. I finally began connecting with others who shared my trauma on the 30th anniversary of my sexual assaults.

The fact that Nature nearly killed me, several times over in 1989 from a long fall off a cliff, was good for building self-respect. You can love something immensely but be humble and accepting that this thing can also easily kill you. 1989 is often referred to around home as the first time I “died”. I very nearly did, and what was reborn was a young man with a new vision, new spiritual faith, and new hope for what could be in the future.

Once I found nature in my life, I felt whole and in touch with my feelings and thoughts I also regained some of my confidence.

It was important for me to find something that helped me refocus in a healthy way, to help me center. It taught me the benefits of meditation, emotional healing, and rejuvenation before I even realized that’s what I was learning.

“I was almost agape . . .” Almost?

Not almost, I very much was!

While my recent sexual assaults had in an

After discussing my reverence for nature, it may surprise you that a different aspect of forests draws my special appreciation. When I look at a patch of woods, not necessarily scientifically, but from the heart—I see

resilience, beauty and delicacy, rugged survivorship, color and fragrance, death, replenishing and cleansing. For every positive I could name, there is what some might call a “negative”. But it is real and parallels us and our own lives.

Here in Connecticut, an early colony of our nation, it is true that virtually every patch of woods and vegetation is a direct product of our history and past land use. It is a result, at every turn, of decisions made by humans over the past 400 years to use the land…or not use it, in specific ways. The forest that eventually regrew is directly tied to this history on a local level and beyond, right down to its species composition, age, understory components and land features that include old stone walls, cellar holes, and charcoal mounds.

The forest is made up of survivors, and nature can teach us hope and promise like nothing else in the world. In the human world, disease and war can be destructive, much as disease and invasives can cause damage to our ecosystems, but our environment perseveres.

Next time you are in a tract of forest, look around and consider the past. Notice the scars, the trials—the darker times of insects, fire, or hurricane. Then notice that the peacefulness has returned—the sound of a bird singing, the glimmer of sunlight filtering through the canopy. If you can, begin to feel what I always feel. Hope for a future, renewed conviction that life goes on, that it does always get better. And you’re never alone.

Then, let yourself smile.

There are lessons that can be learned from this, as opposed to the Utopian view of nature as a paradise independent of our man-made world. What do I get when it’s realized that humans are the inadvertent architects, even when it comes to our natural world?

When I look at a patch of woods,

…I see resilience,

beauty and delicacy,

rugged survivorship, color and fragrance, death, replenishing and cleansing. For

every positive I could name, there is what

Hope.

some might call a

Even when clearing, farming, construction, and widespread fires

“

decimate

our

native

old growth forests, as with survivors,

they

eventually

ABOUT THE AUTHOR David S. Irvin is a professional forester by

return.

day and a proud and devoted family man.

The forests come back, wiping nearly clean the evidence of previous calamities.

Invisible except for those who know what to look for. Peace and solace returns. Long extirpated wildlife returns. Trees grow tall and strong. The renewed world erases the exploitative negatives and buries its’ scars.

Until, that is, such time as those who are looking for the scars – those who need the scars, like me, come along to better understand themselves and heal from the past.

and hopes to return soon to his favorite

He enjoys hiking and anything outdoors, hobby, stage acting. David was introduced to Jane Doe No More (JDNM), a nonprofit organization devoted to survivors of sexual violence, in 2018, and began his journey to the past in order to bring forth a brighter future. He hopes to share his awakening with others so that more will be inspired to tell their story and heal in their lives, especially other men.

You can reach David here.

“negative”. But it is real and parallels us and our own lives.

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TORNADO IN MY MIND, MY MOUTH FULL OF BEES Anonymous

Artwork: Pexels-Sarah-Schorer-

I met him by the pool.

My legs hung in the cold water while the sun fried my back. I watched my toes.

“You’ll be all red tomorrow,” a voice from the water.

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“

I p olitely mumble

with my mouth full

of bees, how we’ ll see

each other here again, how I have to go home now.

He startled me out of my cave, the shadow lingering in corners remained.

I had nothing to say.

I smiled, the way I was used to, politely.

The tornado began to spin. Red winds seared the space between his words and my thoughts.

I scratched my hand. The tornado took me away and I slid into the water.

I thought ‘Here, I did as you asked. Can you leave me alone now?’

But his eyes shone brighter. I encouraged him.

In the water I felt closer to him.

I could feel the water connecting our bodies. I took one step back.

I switched to automatic mode, slowly turned around and started swimming.

With a smile.

I left him confused.

I politely left him to drown.

“Are you up for a drink?” He asks from the depths of my tornado.

I dived in. What to do? Do I want this?

I was speechless. My answer would have been “I don’t know”, if I had known how to answer.

Instead of opening my mouth, I let my hair get tangled by the struggle with the tornado.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR The author is a 40-year-old woman from Eastern Europe. She survived years-long incest by her grandfather, in a family that knew about it but didn’t know how to protect her, in a society where incest is the biggest possible disappearing object.

She holds a master’s degree and is working in the corporate world. Writing is something she has been doing her whole life, a tool that has helped her survive.

“Come on, one beer,” his voice carried me. “It’s hot, it will be refreshing”.

He approached me again. Again I felt the condensed water between our halfnaked bodies.

I agreed. Of course. It’s easy, and a ticket out of the pool.

This short story represents her relationship with men, with all the complexity of symptoms that arise because of the traumatic line of events.

So, we sat, cold beers melting in front of us. I don’t like beer. I never loved beer.

He talks, I let him talk. I nod, smile the way I know he would like it.

Every path the conversation takes us, I direct it back to him.

People like to talk about themselves, and I like to ask questions. If I ask, others don’t.

He does ask me something at times. Then I tear off the top of my hideously and horribly crooked sand tower and make a nice little hut out of it. One tree, a garden with tomatoes, a wooden fence and two cats.

I wait for this moment to pass. I wait to drink that beer I don’t like. I wait for him to get bored. I wait for the sun to set and night to fall. I wait for him to get to know my hut, say thank you and leave.

I forcefully swallow the beer I don’t like; I plan how to leave after this.

Although the sun has just risen, my time has passed. I will run as far as I can, lock myself in my home, darken the room, leave the world outside. Put my tornadoes to sleep, allow nature to breathe.

He drank his beer, finally, and asked me for my number.

I feel as if my safety belt just broke. As though a swarm of bees just covered me. I wait for them to leave but I can’t breathe. And I’m not even sure they will want to leave on their own. If only there was someone there, if only someone existed, who could see them and know how to take them off without me being stung.

I politely mumble with my mouth full of bees, how we’ll see each other here again, how I have to go home now. I thank him for the beer that I didn’t finish, and with dignity and ease I take my swarm of bees home.

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HEALING MY INNER CHILD, A BEAUTIFUL GIRL WHO LOVED TO CLIMB TREES

By Myki Jones

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istock photo, romrodinka

Despite my childhood being full

“

I t was as though

colors started becoming duller as if someone had put a filter

over my eyes—not a blindfold—but more

like a camera lens that altered my worldview.

of chaos and my life affected by multiple traumas, I still chose to stand tall, strong, and undying.

The trees native to Colorado, specifically the pines and Aspens I grew up climbing in the hills of Kremmling, CO, have always been a source of inspiration. They are the common denominator of many happy memories,.Granted they were blips in my timeline, quick-moving moments that felt like they moved as fast, if not faster than vehicles on the freeways of Arizona, the first state where I lived on my own.

Despite this, on days when I am reminded of the pain, I remember that burn in my core as my legs moved from one branch to the next; I recall the fear that I would fall when my foot would miss, but even so, I craved it. I still crave it to this day.

I just turned 24. The last time I remember climbing a tree, I was 19. I still remember that last time like it was yesterday. Me, a young adult woman who wanted to be grown

up so badly. I had wanted to be a grownup for a long time before this. When this gorgeous, kind, funny, open-minded, and ‘unangry’ man came along to a town festival one evening and invited me to watch the fireworks, all that desire to grow up washed away. When we pulled up to a public park, he took my hand in his in a way that assured me I was safe and said to me: “Let’s climb that tree right there and get a better view.”

I was on a wavelength I hadn’t woken up to that day. All the despondent, melancholy, and bittersweetness of my last two high school years melted away. This simple request to climb a tree was suddenly the only thing that mattered to me at that moment. I stopped stressing about my college application papers, my lemon of a first car, a Chrysler Sebring convertible, that was always breaking down at the worst times, and the irrelevant things I was stressing about.

There was something nostalgic about the whole experience. New, and yet mostly nostalgic, the combination of something I had done in my childhood in the many wooded areas of the county road home I

grew up in was now happening with this man. He helped me on that last branch, held his hand out, and had me comfortably maneuver around and sit upon a limb.

I don’t think fireworks have looked that bright since childhood.

As I grew older and life threw me trauma after trauma, it was as though colors started becoming duller as if someone had put a filter over my eyes—not a blindfold—but more like a camera lens that altered my worldview.

I was nine years old when someone

first

felt

entitled

I often practice deep breathing under the trees outside my apartment as I work through my anxieties about jumping into the newest chapter of life. I have since met the love of my life, a man who is equally loving, equally eager for the adventure as I am, and has breathed new life into a mind that only deals with minor fog these days.

For our second anniversary, he took me to a hiking trail behind Carbondale, CO, where he grew up. We spent hours exploring the forest surrounding the trail until we eventually sat beneath one to enjoy a picnic we’d thrown together at the last second with whatever snacks and mini wine bottles we could pick up from a gas station.

Journalist, Feminist, Educator, Content Creator, Myki Jones is working on several creative writing projects that focus on her

to my body. Then again, in

I still deeply appreciate that man,

middle school, at the age of 13.

that I climbed the last tree with in

Everything felt blurry after

Kremmling. I am a grown woman

that, or more so, looked as such.

who nourishes what little Mykaela

I had felt truly happy in my formative years at a Theatre Camp in Grand Lake, CO, as this beautiful area was full of two things I felt I could not do in my hometown after these mental blockages had entered my mind; expressing myself and climbing trees. After graduating high school and leaving behind that wonderful part of my life, I was lost in a thick and humid fog, desperately looking for a light to guide me.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

loved to do so much—fall in love, and

healing

journey

after

domestic/sexual

abuse, the dismantling of rape culture, and justice for survivors and survivors’ families.

She is also writing an upcoming adult fiction novel that is helping her make sense of the trauma she experienced.

be around trees.

Myki Jones was the victim of two separate

While I haven’t climbed a tree

journey, not only of healing, but also using

since that last time, I believe the next time, the opportunity presents itself, especially on my upcoming mapped-out travels and road trips, I will listen

But in this tree, with this man

to the young girl who, in that

who exuded comfort, watching

moment, I can only imagine,

fireworks look as bright as I

will suddenly get the strong

recall them in my childhood.

urge to race the man I love to

I wasn’t just following a light

the top and see who can spot

out of the fog of my mind, but

the coolest sight.

traumatic events which set her on a her theatric and creative writing skills to educate and inspire others. She lived in Arizona through the height of the COVID-19 pandemic where she went on her spiritual journey and began the process of unpacking her trauma through the art of writing.

This

promising

24-year-old

native

of

Colorado, considers herself lucky to have three strong, beautiful, amazing sisters and a mother who taught her to stand on her own. She is a current student of life.

Myki is a freelancer doing what she loves.

She is happily living in Glenwood Springs with her partner where they spend free

staring right at the source.

time taking walks around town and

I will not share his name to protect his privacy, but I hope he still looks back on that night, and I hope against all hope that there was something in him that healed him as we listened to our inner children and just climbed the tree.

movie (at the moment) is Promising Young

watching shows together. Her favorite Woman. In her spare time, she can be found watching documentaries, cozied up on her couch with her journal, or a good book, running, or hiking. Her favorite food is Indian.

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THE BUTTERFLY, THE SNAKE, AND THE BEE

By Mary Wheelan

When Spirit speaks, listen, no matter what you are in the middle of doing. That is what she took from the experience. One day at a campground in Shelburne, Massachusetts she was writing a song.

Along came a bee that buzzed around her head. She waved her hand ABOUT THE AUTHOR A creative artist, Mary Wheelan expresses her artistry primarily through writing poems and songs. She draws upon both for performances and, at times, sings portions of poems. These hybrid performances

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allow for greater emphasis for sections she wants to highlight. In addition to in-person performances of poetry and/or songs, Mary also regularly did both on live radio as part of her weekly show Mary Rewired which aired on WXOJ 103.3 FM. Although she no longer produces the radio program, she continues to update her Mary Rewired Facebook page which updates followers about her creative endeavors.

Mary has participated in as well as, facilitated many writing groups. She self-published a book of poetry titled Walking on the Moon.

Mary has been published in Out From Under:

to shoo it away and resumed working on the song. She felt inspired and was keen on writing her song.

As she finished the first verse, a butterfly flew right into her face flapping its wings as if to say, “Wake up. Don’t you see me right before your eyes?” Despite this beautiful interruption, she went back to her song to work on another verse. She quickly became reabsorbed in her creative process. However, a little while later she looked up and saw a beautiful snake glistening in the sunlight as it headed towards her. All that stood between Lynn and the snake was her open guitar case lying on the ground in front of her. Although ordinarily frightened by snakes, she just calmly rattled the guitar case a little and the snake, a few feet in length, changed direction and slithered back into the woods.

Sober Dykes and Our Friends, Survivors’ Voices: Works of Resilience, In This Together (an especially wonderful experience by The Hosmer Gallery at the Forbes Library in Northampton, Massachusetts. She was also included in the recent art exhibit Show Your Pride at the Artworks Gallery in Ware, MA. Learn more about Mary Wheelan at Visioning B.E.A.R. Circle.

Then she needed a chorus. What to write? What to write? And it came to her. Then the butterfly, the snake and the bee not only entered the chorus but literally took it over. Crone, whisper your secrets to me.

Speak of the butterfly, the snake, and the bee.

WATER AND MORE­—WHAT HELPS ME HEAL

By Claire O’Leary

Morning view from my new home. Photo by Claire O’Leary

Nature of any kind is one of my favorite ways of healing.

But water by far brings me the most peace. Whether I’m driving by the river, the lake or the ocean, I instantly breathe more deeply and easily. Water brings me great joy.

Nature has always been a part of my life. From the forest behind our home in northwestern Quebec; the lake at my aunt and uncle’s home, and the snow-play throughout my childhood, to water skiing, sunbathing by the pool when I lived in Phoenix, and hiking in Colorado, the outdoors has played a healing part in my journey.

As a survivor of incest, I’ve spent many years healing. I’ve used many modalities, from talk therapy, to dance, meditation, forgiveness work, and inner child work. A few things have stood out more than others.

Movement, Reiki, meditation, (especially when combined with writing and/or art)and nature have had a profound impact for me, each healing different parts of my childhood and adulthood. Learning to play again after doing inner child work has also had wondrous effects, allowing me to relax, laugh

and play again and to go back to nature just to breathe. One of my favorite places to walk and absorb nature, the Japanese Garden in Portland, Oregon, is pictured on the front cover. A gentle walk through the garden brings peace to my mind and joy to my heart.

19

“

Creating a community of fellow survivors has truly been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. Being in community with fellow survivors has been incredibly fulfilling—reminding me, in fact, that I am not alone. Not in surviving incest, not in healing and not in advocacy. It’s a community based in common language, where we understand and support one another. A true friendship, a deep love for one another because, as my friend says…

The image above will

We speak ‘survivor’!

I t makes me smile to

The image above will be my view for the foreseeable future. It makes me smile to watch the sun rise in front of my home. And what pray tell is better than starting off the day with a smile. I’m excited to announce that I’ve moved to Donnelly, Idaho.

It’s time for me to come back to nature.

And breathe…

be my view for the foreseeable future.

watch the sun rise in front of my home.

MY HEALING SPACE

By Sierra Scott

I am the growth of a spring flower, sprouting with birth and bloom Forming out of a seed, growing out of the womb Stretching far into the horizon, with boundaries and a vision Joining the universe in peace, in a direct hit with collision The galaxies surround me, in all of its’ shapes and forms Out of pain and out of confusion, out of the eye of the storm I align with the stars in its’ formation of light I am a survivor, a thriver, I shine out of the night I step into the field of endless forgiveness and healing

20

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sierra Scott is the Senior Content Writer and Strategist at RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), the nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization and

I say to myself “I deserve this, even if it’s a new feeling”

has been there for over 2 years. Before

I have awakened and taken the life that was always mine

University with a MA in English/Literature

Speaking into existence, the powers that were already assigned

and rhetoric. She explored the healing

RAINN, she graduated from George Mason and a Certificate in professional writing effects of verbal and visual forms of writing

I am fierce as the tallest Himalayan mountain

and poetry, and how it can be healing for

Filled with waters of truth from the earth’s purest fountains

She is also a current volunteer editor for

I am as strong as the roots flowing from the sassafras tree I am the whistling wind gliding gracefully on the seas

survivors of sexual violence and torture. the International Rehabilitation Council for Torture Victims and directly edits research submitted to the Torture Journal.

She is a mother of a 5-year-old, an advocate,

I am lava, I am heat, spitting fire into the sun I am grounded with my feet and my life has just begun I am firm as a glacier, carving my future with relentless direction I am powerful and tenacious, surrounded with divinity and protection I am reminded in this space that it was not my fault or my secret to keep Healing is not linear – sometimes I smile, sometimes I weep But as the sun rises, I know there is always a new day I am the sculptor of my life; I am the tools and the clay

a writer professionally and personally as a hobby, a dog mom, cat mom, ferret mom, and mom to an 80-gallon tank of fish! You can learn more about Sierra at Sierra Creatives.com.

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BUILDING RESILIENCE

21

YEAR OF THE INNER CHILD: NATURE

By Rachel Grant

22

Rachel explores how we can open ourselves to warmth and joy.

The summer sun warms the grass while birds dart and soar

“

With lit tle effort, I

can allow nature to fill me. The infant inside

me feels cared for as I open myself to warmth and joy.

overhead.

Wrapped in a light blanket, a baby absorbs the sun’s rays with the hint of a grin on his face.

The rays caress and soothe like a mother’s gentle hand. The sun nurtures him.

When I was a baby my parents had little time or energy to nurture me. I instinctively felt the void of something special and essential.

Instead of focusing on what my parents did not or could not do, I can heal those empty places myself by nurturing the needy infant within me.

The sun can nurture me today if I set aside some time to be outdoors. Any activity will do; working in the garden, taking a long walk, laying still on a blanket, riding a bike, playing golf. I’ll take notice of the sun’s warmth against my skin. My body relaxes

as the rays melt away tension. With little effort, I can allow nature to fill me. The infant inside me feels cared for, as I open myself to warmth and joy.

Oh, I love the invitation for this week to get out into nature. There’s so much to gain from putting our feet into the earth. We come back to this theme again and again. And, I think that’s a nice surprise when we’re thinking about re-parenting and nurturing our inner child. You know children love to be out in the earth, digging in the mud, playing. They aren’t concerned about getting their clothes

dirty or getting wet. They stomp happily in that puddle. They bounce into the pile of leaves. They dig their hands into the earth.

I remember growing up, being in nature was such a huge part of my experience. I was blessed to have nature very close growing up in Oklahoma. I could walk across the street into the park, and there was a creek there. I could go down the block and there was what we called the ‘Pathfinder,’ which was just this path that wound through the woods, then there were trails that kicked off that. You could really go explore or lay on a blanket in the backyard soaking in the sun watching the clouds.

Now, today, in my adult life, I again have the blessing of being near nature. I have the ocean right out my door. I have the beautiful golden gate park up the block for myself. The other day I was out at the beach and did just that—laid back, watched the sky, watched the clouds—wasn’t busy, wasn’t hurried. Just soaking in the sun, letting my eyes gaze and drift and feeling the ease of that warmth, joy, relaxation. I love this sentence.

My body relaxes as the rays melt away tension.

We talk a lot in Beyond Surviving about how to use cognitive skills and how to use somatic skills. But, using nature skills, I think, is actually super important.

It takes me back a little bit to my days teaching at a private school in St. Louis, where we used Howard Gardner’s “The Eight Intelligences for Learning and Education.“ Meaning that we would think about: • How do we teach this lesson with language?

• How do we teach this lesson through music?

• How do we teach this lesson through visuals?

• How do we teach this lesson being in nature and use nature as the teacher?

So I’ve really loved this way of accessing knowledge, of accessing comfort.

I hope you too can find some time

this

week

to

get

out

into nature to generate some warmth, some joy, and to release some tension and comfort.

You know, I love that sentence “To write like the needy infant within me.” So think about that when you’re feeling tantrums, when you’re feeling bored, when you’re feeling overwhelmed. I think about it through the lens of that child’s mind and accessing nature as a place to nurture and love yourself.

As always, if there’s anything I can do to be a support to you in your journey from wounded to empowered, don’t hesitate to reach out!

And until next time, take care of you.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rachel is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach. Rachel holds a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology and is the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse and Overcome the Fear of Abandonment. You can download both free on her website.

She works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse to help them let go of the pain of abuse and finally feel normal.

“

I love that sentence “ To write like the

needy infant within

me.” So think about that when you’ re

feeling tantrums.

Her

program,

Beyond

Surviving,

is

specifically designed to change the way we think about and heal from abuse. She has successfully used this program to help her clients break free from the past and move on with their lives.

Reach Rachel here or on Facebook.

23

MY EXPERIENCE AT THE SAPREA RETREAT: FOR FEMALE SURVIVORS OF INCEST AND CSA

By Kesa Kivel

In May 2023, I attended the four-

24

“

To be with people who

understood on some level the fundamental hurts I had endured was

a relief, a gift, and

sometimes an intense experience.

day Saprea Retreat in Utah for cisgendered women and nonbinary folks assigned female at birth who are survivors of incest and child sexual abuse.

I felt totally safe and wonderfully cared for. Saprea has been offering these retreats three times a month for the past eight years in Utah. More recently they opened an additional retreat center in Georgia. Because the retreats are funded by a private foundation and other donors; food, board, and transport to the retreat center from the airport are free. Retreatants must pay their way to and from the local airport.

Participants who fly into the Utah location are picked up at the airport and driven to the retreat site, situated at the foot of snowcapped mountains. No photos are permitted of the retreat building to maintain the privacy of retreatants, all of whom have been interviewed and screened in advance.

On my retreat, there were 16 participants, often divided into two discussion groups of eight. All activities were optional. Talks

were given on many topics — for example, understanding shame and resiliency, creating intentional behaviors, sexual health, and restorative sleep (the last was a presentation I very much needed). The focus was on how trauma affects each of these issues.

When we met in smaller groups, there were usually two leaders. One woman presented, while the other acted as a monitor of the group’s mood and safety. We never had to share anything at all about the abuse we had experienced, but if we did decide to, we were instructed to disclose “headlines” only, never graphic details.

To be with people who understood on some level the fundamental hurts I had endured was a relief, a gift, and sometimes an intense experience. Interesting, integrating activities included a fantastic drumming session, Muay Thai (Thai boxing with gloves), art journaling, yoga, mindfulness, tai chi, and Kintsugi. Kintsugi is the Japanese art of gluing broken pottery pieces back together with gold — a perfect metaphor for the healing process.

On the last day we were told about free online programs we could access from

home. Feedback was always encouraged, and I made several suggestions. For instance, during a talk about other traumatic physical and emotional experiences that can impact survivors — such as having parents who drank alcohol to excess — I suggested that systemic oppressions such as racism and poverty be mentioned, as well.

Saprea is currently raising money and developing a curriculum for men’s retreats.

The first kosher retreat was just held and was at full capacity (26 participants).

A woman I became friends with during my stay told me that she felt accepted both as a survivor and as a lesbian: “I could be fully myself, which filled my heart in ways that I didn’t realize I needed.” She now attends Saprea’s online support group for survivors who are queer and transgender. It will be great when there are retreat opportunities for everyone, especially those within historically marginalized groups.

My retreat experience was wonderful. I felt profoundly given to. The activities were presented in diverse, informed, and creative ways. The staff was kind and thoughtful.

Due

to

the

beauty

of

the

mountains, the healing tools offered,

and

newly

formed

friendships — and even after years of therapy — I came away with a deeper sense that I am worthy.

Learn more about the Saprea Retreat.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Kesa Kivel is a 72-year-old LA-based writer, activist, and incest survivor, currently finishing her book, Transforming the Way We Think About Incest: How Incest Intersects with Sexism and Anti-Black Racism.

Kesa has developed several curricula for teenage girls including Never Give Up!, Moon Magic: Workshop on Puberty, Taking Our Place in the Art World: Feminist Arts Curriculum, and Girl House Beyond: A facilitator’s Guide for Empowering Young Women.

She has

also developed educational material and Anti-Racist Art Activities. Learn more at kesakivelstudios. Feel free to contact Kesa.

“

Due to the beauty

of the mountains, the

healing tools offered, and newly formed

friendships — and even after years of

therapy — I came

away with a deeper

sense that I am worthy.

25

YEAR OF THE INNER CHILD—LIVE: NATURE

By Rachel Grant

“

I’m noticing that as I b ring

this place of ‘ j ust grace and

compassion’ into my relationship,

26

it starts to be a lit tle funny. We’ve started to have a good laugh.

Year of the Inner child FaceBook Live

If you prefer reading, here’s the transcript of the FaceBook Live.

really

Good morning and happy Monday. So nice to be here with you all and continuing our year of self care.

deserves some grace, giving

Oh my goodness. Last week we explored the idea of magnificence and how the world needs our brilliance and our grace.

thinking

about

the

place in which my relationship grace to my self, giving grace, to my partner.

One of the ways that showed

We’ve been together for eight years now, so we pretty much have a handle on what was going on, and where our little places are, that we get caught up in with each other.

up for me this past week was

The other day, I was talking with a friend

istock photo, kieferpix

about one of these things that happens in my relationship. We’ve tried different strategies, and it’s a minor thing at the end of the day. It really is. When I’m cooking, my honey loves to come in to the kitchen and give advice, switch things around and change the dial on the stove.

good laugh. The other day he came in and he started to reach for the little dial, you know, temperature dial, and he just backed off. So maybe, and isn’t that fascinating, too, right? I just embrace it, but all of a sudden, it can change. Why? Oh, my goodness, that’s a bigger lesson for another day.

Wave a hand if that happens with your partner.

So I hope you had a wonderful week of noticing your brilliance, sharing your brilliance. Understanding that you are a gift to the world and you have something to bring.

Oh my goodness, I’m discovering that this is actually something that many of my couple friends run into.

One of my friends says to me, “You know, I’ve just decided that there are some things in my relationship that are just going to be forever fights, and they’re just going to be there. And so for whatever reason, there’s just no solution.

There’s no getting around it. It’s just a thing.”

Of course, it matters what the thing is, and this is a pretty minor one. So I’m noticing that as I bring this place of ‘just grace and compassion’ into my relationship, it starts to be a little funny. We’ve started to have a

It’s nice to see all of you who are here listening to “Live.” Welcome, welcome. Let’s see what we have in store for this week. [Draws card for the week.] Okay, here we go. Here we go.

Here we go. Okay. Try not to cheat. Okay. I think a lot of you are gonna love this one.

NATURE!.

Oh, yeah! Getting out into nature as an act of self care. Take a walk in the beauty of nature. Feed your soul. Hell yeah! [Describes card.] We’ve got water, we’ve got trees. We’ve got this face in the sky. This person, that’s just completely beautiful contemplative, relaxed, restorative.

27

Nature is just legit when it comes to helping us decompress. My goodness, listening to the trees talking to us, feeling the breeze.

Getting away from it all.

I’m reading a book right now about ADHD and studies have actually shown that for concentration, when people with ADHD go out and spend 15 minutes—take a nice walk into nature for 15 minutes—come back with more focus.

I think that might apply to a lot of us even if we haven’t been diagnosed with ADHD.

You know, the place that I grew up in Oklahoma—a little town, Bartlesville, Oklahoma—right out the door across the street was this big park. But if you then walked up the hill, you were in some woods.

And if you went out the door to the right, and walked down past the apartment complex, there was the ‘Pathfinder.’ It was this paved path, but it meandered and meandered and went through the woods and then you could, of course, get off of that paved path and go off on these dirt paths. There were little ramps for biking and really cool places you could just explore. It was just exploration. As a kid just walking out the door, some places I became familiar with, but I would also often find brand new places, even though I knew these woods, so very well.

“

28

I hope that you have

at least a plot of grass nearby or sand or dirt where you can just take your shoes off

and stand in your bare feet.

Now living here in San Francisco, I’m really close to the beach and the ocean and also to Golden Gate Park. So in many ways I’m living my life again. Circle, full circle, where I can walk out the door—I go to the right and there are the woods.

So I truly hope that you will take a moment this week and many moments this week to connect to nature. Another thought, just sit and listen to the birds. As I’m listening to the birds it made me think of that. What are the different ways we can connect with a nature?

Just stand and feel the sun on your face? Feel the breeze on your skin? Sometimes we need to re-imagine what it means to go out and be in nature particularly if it’s not easily accessible. So either way, take some time out, connect with nature. Enjoy the restorative properties of that.

I have to tell you some of my best

thoughts,

some

breakthroughs

have

of

my

come

when I’m just out walking—not trying to make it happen, but just being in nature.

So there’s soothing effects to being surrounded and it’s also grounding to just step outside the door and put your feet in some grass.

It doesn’t have to be an hour-long hike. It doesn’t have to be traveling to somewhere if you don’t have nature very accessible to you.

I hope that you have at least a plot of grass nearby or sand or dirt where you can just take your shoes off and stand in your bare feet. (Barefoot or feet? Let’s take a vote.) In the dirt! It helps your body.

There’s a really cool book called Earthing. You can go check it out. It talks a lot about the healing properties of just being connected to the earth. It has a lot to do with ions.

I won’t go into a whole bunch of that. But standing for 5 to 10 minutes with your feet on the ground barefoot is restorative.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR Rachel is the owner and founder of Rachel Grant Coaching and is a Sexual Abuse Recovery Coach. Rachel holds a Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology and is the author of Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse and Overcome the Fear of Abandonment. You can download both free on her website.

She works with survivors of childhood sexual abuse to help them let go of the pain of abuse and finally feel normal.

Her

program,

Beyond

Surviving,

is

specifically designed to change the way we think about and heal from abuse. She has successfully used this program to help her clients break free from the past and move on with their lives.

Reach Rachel here or on Facebook.

SUPPORTING SURVIVORS

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RESOURCES: BOOKS FOR ADULT SURVIVORS aims to help victims understand the impact sibling abuse has on survivors, provides tools to help them begin their healing journey and emphasizing that survivors can leave the past behind and build happy lives ahead.

30

Beyond Surviving: The Final Stage in Recovery from Sexual Abuse by Rachel Grant. Author Rachel Grant brings to the table a passionate belief that you do not have to remain trapped or confronted daily by the thoughts or behaviors that result from abuse. Through her own journey of recovery from sexual abuse, she has gained insight and understanding about what it takes to overcome abuse.

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity.

Forgiving The Nightmare, by Pastor Mark Sowersby begs the questions “How do you forgive when you’ve been wounded deeply?” “How do you move past the pain that keeps you up at night, leaves you isolated, untrusting, and afraid? How can you possibly forgive them, especially when they don’t deserve forgiveness?”

Glorious Awakenings, My Journey of God’s Healing by Chris Cline is about her journey of God’s healing from sexual abuse. It shares the abuse and the path she took to heal – God redeeming the pieces of her that were broken emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually. Chris says “It is a beautiful story of how Jesus saved me – how my journey healed me and brought me to a closer relationship with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.”

Healing My Life: From Incest to Joy by Donna jenson. A deeply personal story that explores the sexual violence Jenson endured at the hands of her father, the refusal of her family to acknowledge her pain, and a rocky escape as a teenager from the Midwest to start anew in sixties-era California.

Jenson writes with her sense of humor firmly intact, reminding us that joy is possible in the face of great pain. Poignant, brave, and helpful, Healing My Life offers a much-needed testimony for anyone affected by childhood sexual abuse.

Healing Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Very Personal Story by Hannah Louise Cartwright RN, MA Memoir and self-help book for adult survivors of sibling sexual abuse written by a psychotherapist. Her book tells the personal story of recovering from sexual abuse at the hands of a sibling. Cartwright

Healing Steps by Sharyn Higdon Jones: A Gentle Path to Recovery for Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse is a step-by-step guide to healing from the deep pain of early sexual abuse. Such profound abuse touches the core of a woman’s being: in unwanted memories, confusing feelings, distorted self-image, ongoing relationship struggles, and more.

This frank and thorough book, written by a therapist who has herself survived sexual abuse, offers clear-eyed advice, stories of struggles and recovery, and most importantly, exercises to guide you in your own healing.

The Journey of the Heart by Anna Cley. From floating boxes to lifesaving riddles to an enlightened mirror, The Journey

of the Heart is a timeless tale that speaks to the inner child in us all.

The Journey of the Heart offers heartfelt assurance that no matter what circumstances we are born into, our future is ours to write.

Leaving Darkness Behind by Elizabeth M. Altmaier. This book helps survivors find the road to recovery and learn healthy practices that will lead to thriving, not just surviving.

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse can begin a recovery journey informed by accurate understandings, not myths, and empowered by processes that help them thrive. Written for men and women by an author who is herself a survivor, this guide tells the truth about what complex trauma means for your physical and mental health.

Loving My Salt Drenched Bones

by Karo Ska. Karo Ska delivers an ensemble of poetic magic in her highly anticipated book,

loving my salt-drenched bones.

Ska’s mastery of emotional and interpersonal subject matter takes the reader on a journey into the bright side of darkness filled with love, heartache, joy, and the poetic tone that only Ska can manifest.

The MindBody Toolkit by Kim Deramo, D.O. Ten Tools to Instantly Increase Your Energy, Enhance Productivity, and Even Reverse Disease.

The MindBody Toolkit explains the science behind the mind-body connection and gives you 10 tools you can use anytime, anywhere to activate self-healing and awakening now!

Miss America by Day by Marilyn Van Derber. Former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derber, tells the story of how she was sexually violated by her father from age 5 to age 18. She was 53 years old before she was able to speak the words in public: “I am an incest survivor.”

Van Derbur describes in detail what specific “work” she did on her successful journey from victim to survivor.

My Pain is My Power by Tanisha Bankston. Tanisha’s life changed before it began at the age of 5 or 6 years old when she was raped by a friend of the family and she wasn’t believed. The damage caused her to have to relearn how to walk. Her pain continued through adulthood before she could finally enjoy life.

Shattered Innocence by Darlene J. Clark. Abuse happens too often.

Back in the 1960’s, it was taboo to speak about this - especially the sexual abuse. “Shattered Innocence” takes us on Darlene’s journey of discovery and healing.

Sibling Abuse: Hidden Physical, Emotional, and Sexual Trauma Second Edition by Vernon R. Wiehe Often excused by parents as `kids will be kids’ behavior, sibling abuse remains largely unrecognized. Symptoms of such abuse and its devastating effects on victims go undetected, victims do not receive appropriate therapeutic intervention, and transgressors do not come to the attention of the courts.

Sibling Sexual Abuse: A Guide for Confronting America’s Silent Epidemic by Brad Watts. This book is written by a counselor who rehabilitates offenders. The author gives insight into sibling sexual abuse—the causes, the effects and the devastating statistics.

31

BOOKS FOR KIDS & TEENS story, assessment and treatment activities, and detailed parent handouts. Geared to children aged 4 to 12.

32

Thriving After Sexual Abuse: Break Your Bondage to the Past and Live a Life You Love by Denise Bossarte. This book is an eloquent and empathetic selfdevelopment book laying out a blueprint for survivors to heal themselves. Bossarte writes with fierce candor as she shares her own traumatic experience with childhood sexual abuse.

Victim 2 Victor by Anu Verma.

This inspiring and brutally honest memoir details the struggle for survival and the search for healing and happiness. Raised in abuse and navigating through consequences, a young, broken soul finds the strength to embark on a journey to reclaim her self-worth. Her inspiring journey is a lifelong struggle to find self-worth on the ruins of self-esteem.

30 Days of Sex Talks for Ages 8-11: Empowering Your Child with Knowledge of Sexual Intimacy

by Educate and Empower Kids.

This is a series that helps you discuss sex education as a family.

Having these talks with your child will establish a pattern of healthy conversations for the future. As you move through the discussions, these interactions will gain depth and your relationship will strengthen. Your child will become more comfortable talking to you about anything as he or she grows into the healthy, knowledgeable person he or she will become.

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds by Kristen A. Jenson (Author), Debbie Fox (Illustrator) It’s not if our kids come across pornography, it’s when. This is a great book for parents to read to kids about why pornography can be harmful.

I Said No! A Kid-to-kid Guide to Keeping Private Parts Private

by Kimberly King and Zack King (Authors) and Sue Rama (Illustrator) Helping kids set healthy boundaries for their private parts can be a daunting and awkward task. Written from a kid’s point of view, I Said No! makes this task a lot easier.

The Ugliest Word by Annie Margis tells the story of a little girl named Lark whose father is molesting her, as she navigates childhood, and the woman she becomes. An aspiring writer and artist, Lark’s spunk and creativity buoy her as the abuse progresses.

The Ugliest Word is for those who survived childhood incest and for everyone who loves a survivor, is friends with or works with one.

What Do I Do Now? A Survival Guide for Mothers of Sexually Abused Children (MOSAC) by Mel Langston PhD and Leona Puma.

What do I do now? is a mother’s cry after she learns her child has been sexually abused. A mother’s belief in her child’s disclosure and her active support and protection after disclosure are essential to recovery from the horror of sexual abuse.

Cory Helps Kids Cope with Sexual Abuse First Edition by Liana Lowenstein This therapeutic story and collection of creative activities are designed to help children cope with sexual abuse and trauma. Therapeutic games, art, puppets, and other engaging techniques address the eight components of TF-CBT (TraumaFocused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy). Includes a reproducible

Please Tell: A Child’s Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps) by Jessie Written and illustrated by a young girl who was sexually

KIDS & TEENS CONT. molested by a family member, this book reaches out to other children in a way that no adult can, Jessie’s words carry the message, “It’s o.k. to tell; help can come when you tell.

boxes under her clothes and gymnastics trophies is a secret she’d rather forget.

Tootles the Turtle Tells the Truth

by Lenell Levy Melancon. This is a lovely book that playfully walks a child through a story about someone scaring a child into not telling. The characters ask interactive questions at the end of the book to engage readers in a candid discussion of good, bad and scary secrets.

Repair for Kids: A Children’s Program for Recovery from Incest and Childhood Sexual Abuse by Margie McKinnon (Author), and Tom W. McKinnon (Illustrator) R.E.P.A.I.R is Recognition, Entry, Process, Awareness, Insight, and Rhythm. Enter a Six-Stage Program with your child to cross the Bridge of Recovery and make available a whole new world of hope.

TEENS

Caprice by Coe Booth, written with extreme sensitivity and honesty for middle-grade readers, is a painful but ultimately healing novel about finding support from your parents and friends, articulating your truth, and choosing your own path.

As Caprice tries to figure out her future, she is pulled back toward her past, and the abuse she endured from her uncle when she was little -- an abuse she’s never told anyone about.

Ascend, a Zine for teen survivors of sexual assault and friends.

Ascend supports young people who are survivors of sexual assault.

Some Secrets Should Never Be Kept by Jayneen Sanders (Author), and Craig Smith (Illustrator).

A beautifully illustrated children’s picture book that sensitively broaches the subject of keeping children safe from inappropriate touch.

From acclaimed author Kate Messner comes Chirp, the powerful story of a young girl with the courage to make her voice heard, set against the backdrop of a summertime mystery.

When Mia moves to Vermont the summer after seventh grade, she’s recovering from the broken arm she got falling off a balance beam.

And packed away in the moving

Fighting Words by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley In this powerful novel that explodes the stigma around child sexual abuse and leavens an intense tale with compassion and humor, Kimberly Brubaker Bradley tells a story about two sisters, linked by love and trauma, who must find their own voices before they can find their way back to each other.

Ten-year-old Della has always had her older sister, Suki. When their mom went to prison, Della had Suki. When their mom’s boyfriend took them in, Della had Suki. When that same boyfriend did something so awful they had to run fast, Della had Suki. Suki is Della’s own wolf--her protector.

But who has been protecting Suki? Della might get told off for swearing at school, but she has always known how to keep quiet where it counts. Then Suki tries to kill herself, and Della’s world turns so far upside down, it feels like it’s shaking her by the ankles. Maybe she’s been quiet about the wrong things. Maybe it’s time to be loud.

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KIDS & TEENS CONT.

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It Happened on Saturday by Sydney Dunlap. Thirteen-year-old Julia would much rather work with horses at the rescue barn than worry about things like dating and makeup. But when her BFF meets a boy at camp, Julia’s determined not to get left behind. After a makeover from her older sister, she posts a picture of herself online and gets a comment from Tyler a seemingly nice kid who lives across town. As they DM more and more, Julia’s sure that Tyler understands her in a way her family never has. Even better, their relationship earns her tons of attention at school. Then Julia finds out Tyler’s true plan…

The Secrets We Keep by Cassie Gustofson In the vein of The Way I Used to Be and Kelly Loy Gilbert’s Conviction, this “exceedingly well-written, powerful, and suspenseful” young adult novel follows a girl’s struggle to reconcile friendship, sexual abuse, and the secrets we bury deep down inside to survive.

High school freshman Emma Clark harbors a secret—a secret so vile it could implode her whole world, a secret she’s managed to keep buried…until the day her best friend, Hannah, accuses Emma’s father of a heinous crime.

SHARE YOUR STORY From your journal to the pages of Voices Heard, the interac tive e -Zine that emp owers you to S H AT T E R YO U R S I L E N C E .

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Let’s Talk About It by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan. The Teen’s Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Being a Human. Inclusive, accessible and honest graphic novel guide to growing up, from gender and sexuality to consent and safe sex. Perfect for any teen starting to ask questions.

Share your stor y in the ne x t issue.

The theme O ur Stories.

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ONLINE SUPPORT ONLINE SUPPORT GROUPS FOR SURVIVORS: 1 in 6 sponsors free anonymous chat-based support groups for male survivors of sexual abuse seeking a community of support.

Sessions are offered Monday through Friday. These written chat (no audio or video) groups focus on education and mutual support for males and are facilitated by a counselor.

Complicated Courage is a website and blog for sibling sexual abuse survivors.

Healing PTSD Naturally iKathryn Berg, of Lotus Homeopathy offers support on Facebook for people who suffer from PTSD to help them discover natural methods of dealing with PTSD, no matter what the cause. This group supports all trauma not only sexual abuse survivors.

HelpRoom Offered by 360 Communites an affiliate of RAIIN, HelpRoom is an anonymous online group chat option that allows members of the community who have been affected by sexual violence to connect with one another.

Trained staff facilitate group discussions to ensure a safe environment for all visitors to discuss topics and experiences related to sexual violence.

Hidden Water Healing Circles meet weekly — either in-person or online — and are designed to enable participants to find the growing edge of their healing alongside others who have had similar experiences with childhood sexual abuse.

Incest AWARE is a group for those working to end incest and help survivors of incest abuse to heal.

The Incest AWARE Facebook was born following a large meeting of incest prevention advocates, healers, and authors who came together in February 2021 to talk about the opportunities and challenges we face today in our efforts to prevent incest.

Isurvive is an online abuse survivor support group. Their forums/chat

rooms are open to adult survivors and their loved ones seeking to heal from all forms of abuse including sexual, physical, verbal, emotional and ritual.

The Lamplighter Movement is dedicated to recovery from incest and child sexual abuse. They have chapters located throughout the US that organize groups for survivors.

National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse NAASCA has a list of recovery groups and services worldwide for adult survivors of abuse, including incest. Their online daytime recovery meetings are an open discussion forum about child abuse trauma and recovery and are hosted by volunteer members.

Sexual Assault Advocacy Network (SAAN) Facebook Group was founded to support the people who support sexual violence survivors. Their active Facebook group connects survivoradvocates who are working to support other incest and other sexual abuse survivors, change policy and raise awareness.

Survivors Of Childhood Trauma is a friendly Facebook group that offers help and advice to fellow survivors from all walks of life.

Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA) is a 12-step recovery program for adult survivors of incest. They offer a range of peersupport groups including virtual, phone and in-person – all free of cost. Their website also contains resources and information of interest to incest survivors.

Tail of the Bell is geared toward adult survivors of incest. It will soon be offering peer-to-peer incest survivor facilitated groups called YANA. Participants will become members of small groups of 6-8 survivors maximum who will meet weekly in a virtual space to offer mutual support and guidance.

Wings Support Groups offers a variety of virtual and in-person groups in the Denver Metro area.

Wings supports adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse to live

their fullest, healthiest lives as they speak about, heal from and thrive beyond CSA trauma.

SUPPORT FOR FAMILIES OF SURVIVORS M*OASIS Support (Mothers* Of Adult Survivors of Incest and Sexual Abuse) is a resource website and blog for anyone looking to understand how to support a survivor of incest and sexual abuse.

StopSO Support for Families Online Group is a safe and supportive space for family members of a sexual offender or for family members of someone who is worried that they may cause sexual harm. (StopSO also provides services for those at risk of offending and concerned about their thoughts or behavior.).

SEARCHABLE DATABASE Psychology Today’s website has a “Find a Therapist” directory of therapists, psychiatrists, treatment centers and support groups located throughout the US that is searchable by city or zip code.

RAINN’s National Resources for Sexual Assault Survivors and their Loved Ones resources and references NSVRC (National Sexual Violence Resource Center) has compiled a list of linkable websites and resources offering support and help for survivors, which includes links to support groups.

IF SOMEONE YO U K N OW I S I N C R I S I S… IF YOU O R SOM EO NE YOU K N OW IS IN I M M E D I AT E D A N G E R AND NEEDS M E D I C A L AT T E N T I O N , C A L L 9 11 .

N AT I O N A L

RAINN Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673) Live Chat 24/7 Crisis Text Line: Text “START” to 741741 35 Rain Website National Domestic Violence Hotline: Select “chat now” Or call 1.800.799.7233 (If you’re not alone text LOVEIS to 22522) NDVH Website

COLORADO

CCASA Hotline: 800.799.SAFE (7233) CCASA Website Advocate Safehouse Hotline: 970.285.0209 Response Hotline: 970.925.7233 Response Website Colorado Crisis Services: 844.493.TALK (8255) Text TALK to 38255 4 pm – 12 am 7 days a week

Voices Heard shatters the long held silence of sexual abuse survivors through story-telling and expressive arts.