The Ugly Duckling A Day in the Life: StudentTeacher Communication
Today’s News Damian Claims New Catchphras
Dear teacher, Sorry to email you at 11:08 p.m. but no one really has a life right now. I think you have kids but they should be asleep by now. Anyways, I’m confused about the homework. I know you went through it in class but if I’m being completely honest, I was watching Tasty Cooking videos. Paying attention has not been a strong suit of mine lately since I am home 24/7.
When asked if he would reveal it, Jones commented: “Great question — the answer is no!”
Administration’s Quest to Rid Burke of Clubs Almost Complet “No talking at lunch means they can only meet on Mondays … but then we schedule other things on Mondays instead! Aahahhahahhahah”
Dear student, I understand this is a di cult time for you and we are here to help. If you’re struggling mentally, feel better. Since our schedules are compressed, I will still assign insane amounts of homework and provide virtually no help (get it, virtually!). I will also continue to test you on material you have not learned. However, please continue to ask questions, and I’ll decide whether or not I will answer them fully.
Atrium Bird Disappointed By Habitat Invasio “I thought they were gone for good! And now, they’re back. So much for my raging parties. How will I ever get Daisy to love me?”
Dear teacher, Sorry I didn’t come to class this morning. I decided to pull an unintentional all-nighter and fell asleep at 7am. But I’ll just say that my WiFi was down and we’ll leave it at that. I can’t promise that this won’t happen again.
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Dear student. That’s completely ne. I understand this is a di cult time for everyone. However, that does not excuse your absence. You should have found a way to email me with no WiFi. With that being said, please limit the amount of class time you miss since we only have a couple weeks left with each other.
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• Joe Biden is likely to mysteriously disappear and reappear while President, according to one of our inside sources (Dr. Johnny Bananas) • You have ⅕ chance of being robbed tonight • The rst two facts may or may not be related.
“If you put all your ducklings in a muddy puddle of feathers, they’ll quack before you can cook them in a wood replace.”