FALL 2020 ISSUE
MENTAL HEALTH
EDMUND BURKE SCHOOL INLIGHT MAGAZINE
CONTENTS PAGE 1
PAGE 11
Sigita Puškorius ‘21 Kyra Layman '21
Anonymous
FROM THE EDITORS
PAGE 3
THE DISCUSSION AROUND MENTAL HEALTH; WHY ARE WE SO SCARED? Ingrid Gruber '22
PAGE 5
UNTITLED
Kyra Layman '21
PAGE 6 THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN TEEN MENTAL HEALTH, TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS, AND SCHOOLS Sophia Rasevic '22
PAGE 8
A BAND OF HOPE Jax August '21
SOCIAL NORMS ARE BREAKING PEOPLE AND RUINING LIVES
PAGE 12
THE BOX OF MY ANXIETY Sigita Puškorius ‘21
PAGE 13 COLORS IN LIFE
Jax August '21
PAGE 14
NAVIGATING THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH IN HIGH SCHOOL Nate Miller '21
PAGE 16
WHEN ISOLATION BECOMES INVOLUNTARY Wes Castle '22
PAGE 18 RESOURCES
PAGE 9
Lucy Kernan-Schloss
Sydni Ming Holland Hill '22
PAGE 19
"WE"
MEET THE TEAM
PAGE 10
SOAPBOX SPEECH Ben McLenaghan '20
*all photography done by Kyra Layman '21 unless otherwise stated*
FROM THE EDITORS
Photo by Rayan Al-Amiri '21 “Why is this issue coming out now? Didn’t you start this issue last year?” WELL. We began working on this issue early last year, and finished it in March amidst the uncertainty of the beginning of the pandemic. When it became clear that nothing would become clear anytime soon, we realized that publishing an issue on the heavy topic of mental health may not be in anyone’s best interest. So, we reorganized and published our Hope issue. Now that there are systems in place for Burke students to receive the support they may need and a more solid structure for online learning, we are finally able to publish the issue. As people who have struggled with our own mental health for a long time, we wanted to create something in which we could share our experiences and show others that they do not have to stay quiet about how they are feeling. We would like to provide readers with a greater understanding of mental health and attempt to normalize the conversation around it and throughout this issue, you will read about the experiences of Edmund Burke community members and the ways in which they have faced their obstacles.We have included an extra page at the ends of this issue, which has resources to help those who may be struggling. We know this is a difficult topic, so we ask you to please read this issue without judgment. We hope that you are able to read and absorb this work while becoming more aware of the different struggles within our community. In these confusing and difficult times, constantly being bombarded with news of COVID-19, it is easy to feel helpless and isolated so we’d like to add that if you know someone who is struggling with social distancing and isolation, that you please check in with them and provide them a place to talk and stay connected. Remember, as a community, we value compassion and empathy, even amid a global pandemic! Reach out to those who may need it and check in with them. Remember that you are not alone and we’re all in this together. – Kyra Layman ‘21 and Sigita Puškorius ‘21
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EXPLORING CULTURES, LIFTING VOICES & INTERROGATING INJUSTICES ONE SCHOOL AT A TIME
OUR MISSION
InLight is a youth-led and institutionally-backed platform for dialogue that explores cultures, lifts voices, and interrogates injustices. Contributors tell their own stories, shedding light on their experiences, customs, politics, and the social issues of their communities. We hope to expand the cultural lens of our readers, providing a shock to complacency and antidote to intolerance. We strive to foment empathy and inspire action within our youth, across our schools and in our greater society. 2 | MENTAL HEALTH
THE DISCUSSION AROUND MENTAL HEALTH: WHY ARE WE SO SCARED? INGRID GRUBER '22
I have depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I bet that a large majority of you are a bit uncomfortable that I just told you that. To be honest, I’m a bit uncomfortable that I said that. However, I have an undeniable feeling that I shouldn’t be and I wouldn’t be if more people talked openly about mental health. When I began to experience symptoms of mental health illnesses, I thought that it was just in my head, as I hadn’t heard anybody talk freely about the symptoms before. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my parents, as I was too afraid of what people would say. I worried that people would judge me and treat me differently. Now, one of my greatest regrets is not confiding in someone when I first began to experience the symptoms. If I had, I wouldn’t have struggled for months alone. I wouldn’t have scars on my arms or thighs from cutting, and I wouldn’t have contemplated suicide or been so distant, missing out on experiences that I would have otherwise loved.
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A discussion would have made the past few years of my life much easier. For people who weren’t so lucky as to eventually find that discussion, it could have saved their life. There is such a stigma surrounding mental health and people who suffer from these conditions, such as depression or anxiety. Those who suffer are left to grapple alone, fearing the responses that they will receive if they confess their struggles. There are an estimated 16.2 million adults in the U.S. suffering from depression, 40 million adults in the U.S. struggling with anxiety, and 2.2 million dealing with obsessivecompulsive disorder. It’s safe to say that these illnesses aren’t rare. In fact, they are incredibly common. So, I constantly find myself wondering, “Why are we so afraid to talk about them?”
Over time, I’ve started to come up with an answer: We fear the responses. There are stigmas and stereotypes surrounding mental health and those who suffer from mental health illnesses. Additionally, these conversations, especially when it includes sensitive topics, such as suicide, tend to make people uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s easier to disregard the subject completely. However, I can’t help but think that if we spent more time discussing these issues, the majority of these fears, stigmas, and discomforts, would, for the most part, cease to exist. I know, as of right now, the discussion is uncomfortable. But I beg all of you, please be open to having these conversations because as someone who has dealt with a mental health issue first-hand, I can attest to the fact that it would have been helpful. I would have appreciated knowing that there are multitudes of people sharing my struggles and experiences. Even if I didn’t realize it at the time, I can understand now, that talking about the pain would have been healthier than keeping it pent up inside and expressing it through scars on my arms. Please don’t be afraid to have a discussion, whether you yourself are dealing with a mental health illness or not. Understanding that having these conversations can save people from great amounts of anguish, and could possibly save lives.
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UNTITLED
Oil on canvas
KYRA LAYMAN '21
I hate the quote “good vibes only”. When I see it on a sticker or a sign or a card, I want to tear my eyes out. Well, not quite, but I do have a problem with that phrase. We’re constantly told through the media and pop culture to pick ourselves back up again when something bad happens– to dust ourselves off and put on a brave face. What those songs and books and movies aren’t saying is that we also need time to find comfort, to regroup, and to gather up our strength before we go back out again and tackle the world. This isn’t to say that we should all become hermits and wallow in self-pity for the rest of our lives, but I hope this painting serves as a reminder that it is okay to take some time for ourselves to remember the important things.
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THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN TEEN MENTAL HEALTH, TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS, AND SCHOOLS SOPHIA RASEVIC '22
N
Navigating mental health as a teenager can be challenging, and, in my experience, school often ends up making it worse. Most teenagers are already experiencing stress, and the American Psychological Association states that, “Teens reported that their stress levels during the school year far exceeded what they believe to be healthy (5.8 vs. 3.9 on a 10-point scale)”. Adolescence is the time when students need a teacher to be there for them and help guide them through the stress that comes with life. Most students start to experience the stress of both school and home in middle school, when students are beginning to have an increased amount of schoolwork (though not as much as a high schooler). Then, high school comes along and your classes start to get harder, expectations grow higher, and you end up spending most of your time doing work and activities surrounding your school. During this time, healthy teacher-student relationships are critical.
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Creating a bond with an adult or a teacher at your school gives you someone to talk to, and the ability to seek them out in times of need. Most students have a somewhat clean transition from their middle school to high school when it comes to workload and stress, however, my story is slightly different. I went to a large middle school with around 500 kids in my graduating class. This meant that if you were struggling in a class or were having a tough time at home, no one checked to see if you were well. Don’t get me wrong, I had some nice teachers during my three years at this school, but nothing compared to Burke. My middle school experience was decent up until my eighth-grade year, when I began to struggle with my mental health. I was having a lot of trouble with my school’s administration and relationship problems with those who mattered most to me. I began to slack off and not complete my work, and most of my teachers didn’t notice. I needed a teacher or adult at school to ask me how I was doing and genuinely help me, but instead, I got in trouble and yelled at all the time.
The lack of support from my teachers brought me down, and it made me view teachers as people who have a negative impact on a student's life. So, when I came to Burke and all of my teachers wanted me to do well and help me succeed, I was surprised. My experience at Burke so far has been an incredibly positive one. It has been a place where I have grown into my own person, and I am continuing to thrive. Most importantly, I have adults at Burke that have been there for me throughout my entire transition from middle school to high school. At the beginning of ninth grade, I struggled to put myself out there in the community and to accept help from teachers. It was no fault of theirs; I just wasn’t used to a teacher wanting to help me and I didn’t know how to react. But, through talking to my advisors and going to them when I needed help, my high school experience changed and has been even better than I ever anticipated. I have formed good relationships with my teachers and I know that even when I get stressed out or anxious they want what is best for me and will help me to reach my goals.
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Being a teenager can be extremely challenging, so if you have people who want to help you, you should go to them in your times of need. Having just one teacher or adult that you can go talk to in school is extremely important. When you are a teenager who is constantly stressed out with school, homework, and other activities, it can be burdensome. Therefore it is important to take care of yourself. Mental health can be hard to deal with and trying to resolve and work through it on your own does not always work out for the best.Furthermore, if you are a teacher, I encourage you to check up on your students. Achieving good mental health is a journey that no one should go through alone.
A BAND OF HOPE Water color on paper JAX AUGUST '21
This is a painting of my own hand wearing a hospital band. I was doing art with my roomates (in the hospital) showing the frustration towards the world and being stuck in one mindset while also not giving up a fight for a better life.
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WE
SYDNI MING HOLLAND HILL '22 “THE GREATEST HAZARD OF ALL, LOSING ONE’S SELF, CAN OCCUR VERY QUIETLY IN THE WORLD, AS IF IT WERE NOTHING AT ALL. NO OTHER LOSS CAN OCCUR SO QUIETLY; ANY OTHER LOSS — AN ARM, A LEG, FIVE DOLLARS, A WIFE, ETC. — IS SURE TO BE NOTICED.” — KIERKEGAARD
I am losing myself I have to be brutally honest I am losing my mind I have been an imposter for the longest Not in a way that would hurt another person But merely myself I am an altruist I tried to fit in with the narcissists The people I thought I had who haven’t cared I try to stray away but I can’t resist Only for a single moment of acceptance I am soon be ignored As if I don’t exist I do so much for others that I forget myself The stress is overwhelming like a looming tower Every inch of my agitation lasts for hours I stitch on my delight While my psyche is diminished Enshrouded, encapsulated Oh, how it is so tiring to want to be loved Oh, how it is so exhausting to want to be acknowledged I want to beg, cry, kick, and scream For a right that should be mine Whenever I complain, they say “It’ll come with time.” I used to blame myself for the faults of others With extreme negative thoughts, I was smothered But I won’t apologize for feeling I won’t comply to satisfy your fragility I won’t shut myself up and suppress my abilities I won’t be silent I won’t let you silence me There’s more to me than paying up my spontaneous “dues” For being a little eccentric, artsy, or alone my skin’s hue. It’s never just I or me It’s not just you It’s us. It’s we.
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THE BALLOON OF TOXIC MASCULINITY Ben McLenaghan '20 I want you all to imagine a little blue
Other effects are emotional immaturity,
balloon. Now imagine filling it up, getting
being
bigger and bigger. What happens when it
depression, which often manifests in
gets too big? Pop. Sadly, this is what
violent ways. My father grew up in a house
happens to far too many men who
where
suppress their emotions. These men are
emotions. As a result of growing up in that
conditioned by society to be emotionless
environment, he often struggles to talk
and “manly”. They keep their emotions
about what is troubling him and to ask for
bottled up inside and let them build up
help. Before he got help, he would have
until they… POP. It is an incredibly
enormous
common and damaging phenomenon that
holding everything in. These outbursts
results
and
would be so strong that they surprised
emotional immaturity and insecurity that
and upset the people around him. As a
affects these men's lives and the lives of
result of suppressing his emotions, my
those around them. This is an issue that is
father negatively affected himself, and
not talked about enough. Society has
many others. There are solutions to this
created this ridiculous idea that getting
issue. Therapy is always an option. The
help or showing weakness makes you “less
information you give to a therapist is
manly”.
According to the American
confidential and they will never judge you.
Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die
Other people are available as well. Seek
by suicide 3.5 times more often than
out family members, trusted friends, your
women. That number is staggering. If men
school counselor or advisor, or your
weren’t scared to get help, this number
romantic partner. And if somebody has an
would be much lower. Men are trained to
issue with you finding help, you should cut
be impervious to any type of pain. A study
them out of your life. Finding help is okay.
by Stanford University showed 12 men and
What I want you to do is to just talk about
12 women disturbing images. In the
what’s going on. Pushing your emotions
women, nine areas of the brain showed
down will lead to nothing but sadness,
higher activity when viewing the images. In
anger, or even self-harm. Also, make sure
the men, only two areas of the brain
that you are a safe place for a friend to
showed higher activity. This illustrates the
confide in if they are having issues of their
effect of feelings being driven out of these
own. It’s silly to have to stop feeling in
men.
order to be a man, so don’t give in to that
in
outbursts
of
anger
emotionally
nobody
10 | MENTAL HEALTH
talked
outbursts
idea, just talk.
abusive,
of
about
anger
and
their
from
SOCIAL NORMS ARE BREAKING PEOPLE AND RUINING LIVES
Throughout most of elementary school, body image was not a major issue for me, just a nagging idea in the back of my head. I had yet to really be exposed to, or notice the negative, unhealthy ideas surrounding body image that I became much more aware of in middle and high school environments.
ANONYMOUS
And while I was sometimes bothered by the way I
There are many ways to look at and discuss the
surrounded by other girls my age, it was nowhere
very taboo topic of body image and mental
near the struggle I face today. Most of the negative
health. And I say taboo because, in our society,
thoughts I had were planted there by a couple
people fear discussing these topics and avoid
other girls who would tease me, but I tried to
them at all costs. The reality is, everybody thinks
ignore them and my mental health wasn’t severely
about these things. Everybody talks about these
affected until I was 11 or 12 years old. As soon as I
things, but not in a healthy way. There is a major
entered middle school, everything changed. I was
disconnect, a broken bridge, between the social
exposed to social media, norms, and much more
media we look at daily, and the reality of the
bullying. Around me, my friends were struggling
bullying that is happening whether it goes
with the same issue yet it felt like we were alone
unnoticed or not. Bullying around the subject of
because it was affecting us all in different ways. To
body image and looks can be blunt and
this day, my issues with body image have grown
indiscreet, telling somebody they don’t look good
and evolved and continue to be a struggle.
looked when I would be at gymnastics or soccer
or are ugly, using words with a negative connotation linked to them. However, these
This topic of conversation is avoided in our society
types of bullying can also hide behind a mask of
due to the discomfort and awkwardness that it
kindness and compliments, comments that can
brings. I know from personal experience how
be oversexualizing, exposing, ridiculing and
difficult it is to be struggling with your own body
abusive. Bullying that targets looks can lead to
image and the way you see yourself because, at
insecurities,
in
least to me, it feels as if it is in some way your own
extreme situations, eating disorders, depression
fault. But the truth of it, as I have come to realize
and anxiety. Social norms, the standards to
over the past year alone, is that it is so much easier
which people are held to in society, are also
to deal with these things when you aren’t
tearing people apart by planting negative self-
struggling alone. In all honesty, negative body
images in their heads. Social media, on the other
image has become an epidemic in our society and
hand, gives us a false sense of what the norm is,
we need to be more open about these issues in
and puts unhealthy, dangerous images in our
order to progress positively.
self-doubt,
self-hatred
and
minds. These images are what cause people to fall into loops of self-hatred and negative stigma around food.
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THE BOX OF MY ANXIETY assorted mediums in cigar box SIGITA PUŠKORIUS ‘21
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COLORS IN LIFE Acrylic on wood
JAX AUGUST '21
This painted hand represents all of the different intertwining aspects of your life and how, with the slightest change in behavior or mindset, you can change everything.
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Photo by Lily Barnes '21
NAVIGATING THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH IN HIGH SCHOOL NATE MILLER '21
When I was younger, mental health was always
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is challenging in
something in the back of my mind, and I
ways
perceived it as something uncomfortable to talk
understand. I would sleep as much as possible
about. When I turned fourteen, I was diagnosed
and take naps during the day so I didn’t have to
with obsessive-compulsive disorder and clinical
be in my own mind thinking about my
depression. I didn't understand what was going
compulsions. I felt like a prisoner to my illness,
on in my head. Suddenly, getting through one
and I would spend way too much time
single day felt like a struggle, and I could barely
obsessing over my intrusive thoughts. Luckily, I
find the motivation to get out of bed. I struggled
eventually met someone else with the illness,
with horrible compulsions, recurring intrusive
and we shared our strategies for staying sane.
thoughts, and I was depressed all the time to
Meeting a friend with the same illness as me was
top it off. Luckily, my conditions were treatable
a substantial part of my recovery because it
and I have received a lot of help from
helped
psychiatrists and therapists on my continuous
recognition of the pain of other people.
that
only
me
heal
those
who
through
have
it
empathy
can
and
road to recovery. In the same month, I found out that I had In the last few years, I have been prescribed just
depression. It made sense, though, because why
about every antidepressant. Some of them gave
else was I so sad all the time? It didn’t really
me horrible side effects, such as a feeling of
come as a shock, but I was scared about what it
inner restlessness, and I felt hopeless and
meant for my future. I was worried that my
miserable. Luckily, I finally found a medication
condition would get worse and that I might not
that seems to be improving my condition.
have the energy to graduate from high school.
However, during the worst days, my mind would
Luckily, I managed to get on the right track by
wander to dark places if I wasn’t constantly
following
distracted.
specialists and my family.
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the
guidance
of
mental
health
Interestingly, I credit my healing over the last few years mainly to my decision to switch schools. I suffered from the worst of my struggles at my old school, and the choice to switch my environment proved to be a good decision. Mental health is a tremendous challenge for people everywhere, and it is important to develop strategies, lifestyles, and treatments to combat its harm.
MENTAL HEALTH IS A TREMENDOUS CHALLENGE FOR PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO DEVELOP STRATEGIES, LIFESTYLES, AND TREATMENTS TO COMBAT ITS HARM.
Throughout my experiences with depression and other mental illnesses, I have learned that the best treatment is a combination of medicine, therapy, and exercise. Working out releases endorphins and serotonin, which is extremely useful in battling depression and depressive episodes. My advice to other kids my age who deal with the same issues is to develop strategies to slow yourself down and be mindful of the present, instead of falling victim to a vicious thought cycle.
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WHEN ISOLATION BECOMES INVOLUNTARY WES CASTLE '22
W
What is it like to feel alone? It’s something we’ve all felt at some point, whether it be for a minute,day, or month. A 2018 study found that 46% of Americans reported feeling alone more often than not, and that 43% have no person to confide in. It’s admittedly a much more mundane problem than something as serious as police brutality or antisemitisim. But maybe it’s the fact that this problem is mundane—that a lot of people deal with this every single second of their life—that makes it so scary. A lot of people can relate to the feeling of being alone, but when it gets to the point where you feel alone months on end, it becomes a problem. And sometimes, it isn’t something that you can completely solve yourself. It's hard to wake up and be in the constant mindset of bettering relationships that you don’t even think exist. Sometimes it takes a second person to step in and help.
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I remember when I was at my school’s open house. I was scared. We were all in the school hallways, people were standing in crowds, and it seemed as if everyone already knew each other. I kept to myself, trying to make myself look busy on my phone. I was too scared to take a cupcake from the table or talk to anyone—I didn’t want to mess up any first impressions. It was at that point when I remember someone walking away from the crowd to approach me. He was a returning student. I don’t remember who it was, but I remembered how our conversation went. Without me saying anything, it seemed like he understood that I wanted to talk to people, but was scared. We began talking, and I finally began feeling comfortable. It gave me a bit of a confidence boost, and for the rest of the vist I finally began to socialize. Knowing that someone cares enough about you that they make an effort to talk to you, can easily change your confidence. Having people in your life makes you feel like you exist, and makes you feel like you’re not alone.
People can branch out themselves, and manage to become more comfortable without any assistance, but sometimes we do need help, and don’t have people we can talk to. Some people are not lucky enough to have people to talk to. What do you do when, no matter what you say, no one seems to acknowledge you? When you feel almost isolated from everyone else? It’s hard to keep on trying after you’ve spent every ounce of energy trying to break out of your shell and talk to people, but no one returns the favor. These kinds of things make you end up feeling worthless- a burden to yourself and the few people around you. And it’s almost never one person's fault. And although we can never fully take away the feeling of loneliness that our friends might feel, we can at least try and make a difference.
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As a side note, not everyone feels emotions the same way. There are countless people who are fine with keeping to themselves, and would much prefer solitude than socializing. There are also people who may want to get out of their shell, but without the help of others. People vary, and if we truly want to help, we have to understand what they want—even if that means leaving them alone. But when you see someone constantly alone, try and offer some time to them. We as people can pick up social clues pretty easily, and can help alleviate a burden if we just give up some time to talk to those who need it most. Sometimes, all we need to do is start the conversation, which could in turn, start the solution to what someone else is facing.
RESOURCES Lucy Kernan-Schloss Ph.D. Psychological Counselor 202-362-8882 x607 lucy.kernan-schloss@burkeschool.org https://calendly.com/appointments-with-lucy-burke-counselor National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor project provides mental health information specifically for LGBTQ youth https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/ The Centers for Young Women’s Health and Young Men’s Health provide a series of guides on mental health, including issues from test anxiety to depression and eating disorders https://youngwomenshealth.org/emotional-health-index/ https://youngmenshealthsite.org/ Girls Health offers guidance to teenage girls specifically on issues of mental health, how to seek help, and talking to parents about concerns https://www.girlshealth.gov/index.html Reachout provides comprehensive resources on mental health iisues.https://au.reachout.com/
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OUR TEAM MEET THE INLIGHT EDITORIAL BOARD!
KYRA LAYMAN '21 CO-EDITOR IN CHIEF & LAYOUT
LENA STREITWIESER '22 CULTURAL AFFAIRS
SIGITA PUSKORIUS '21 CO-EDITOR IN CHIEF
STEVEN LEE
INGRID GRUBER '22
FACULTY ADVISOR
COMPARISON CORNER
LARA CATILINAREBUCCI '22
NICK CATLETTJENKINS '21
KORNELIA MOSTROUS '20
LAYOUT ADVISOR
CULTURAL AFAIRS
ARTS EDITOR
SPECIAL THANKS TO DAMIAN JONES, JULIA H. CAIN, LUCY KERNAN-SCHLOSS
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