InLight Magazine: Fall 2020

FALL 2020 ISSUE

MENTAL HEALTH

EDMUND BURKE SCHOOL INLIGHT MAGAZINE

CONTENTS PAGE 1

PAGE 11

Sigita Puškorius ‘21 Kyra Layman '21

Anonymous

FROM THE EDITORS

PAGE 3

THE DISCUSSION AROUND MENTAL HEALTH; WHY ARE WE SO SCARED? Ingrid Gruber '22

PAGE 5

UNTITLED

Kyra Layman '21

PAGE 6 THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN TEEN MENTAL HEALTH, TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS, AND SCHOOLS Sophia Rasevic '22

PAGE 8

A BAND OF HOPE Jax August '21

SOCIAL NORMS ARE BREAKING PEOPLE AND RUINING LIVES

PAGE 12

THE BOX OF MY ANXIETY Sigita Puškorius ‘21

PAGE 13 COLORS IN LIFE

Jax August '21

PAGE 14

NAVIGATING THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH IN HIGH SCHOOL Nate Miller '21

PAGE 16

WHEN ISOLATION BECOMES INVOLUNTARY Wes Castle '22

PAGE 18 RESOURCES

PAGE 9

Lucy Kernan-Schloss

Sydni Ming Holland Hill '22

PAGE 19

"WE"

MEET THE TEAM

PAGE 10

SOAPBOX SPEECH Ben McLenaghan '20

*all photography done by Kyra Layman '21 unless otherwise stated*

FROM THE EDITORS

Photo by Rayan Al-Amiri '21 “Why is this issue coming out now? Didn’t you start this issue last year?” WELL. We began working on this issue early last year, and finished it in March amidst the uncertainty of the beginning of the pandemic. When it became clear that nothing would become clear anytime soon, we realized that publishing an issue on the heavy topic of mental health may not be in anyone’s best interest. So, we reorganized and published our Hope issue. Now that there are systems in place for Burke students to receive the support they may need and a more solid structure for online learning, we are finally able to publish the issue.

As people who have struggled with our own mental health for a long time, we wanted to create something in which we could share our experiences and show others that they do not have to stay quiet about how they are feeling. We would like to provide readers with a greater understanding of mental health and attempt to normalize the conversation around it and throughout this issue, you will read about the experiences of Edmund Burke community members and the ways in which they have faced their obstacles.We have included an extra page at the ends of this issue, which has resources to help those who may be struggling. We know this is a difficult topic, so we ask you to please read this issue without judgment. We hope that you are able to read and absorb this work while becoming more aware of the different struggles within our community.

In these confusing and difficult times, constantly being bombarded with news of COVID-19, it is easy to feel helpless and isolated so we’d like to add that if you know someone who is struggling with social distancing and isolation, that you please check in with them and provide them a place to talk and stay connected. Remember, as a community, we value compassion and empathy, even amid a global pandemic! Reach out to those who may need it and check in with them. Remember that you are not alone and we’re all in this together.

– Kyra Layman ‘21 and Sigita Puškorius ‘21

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EXPLORING CULTURES, LIFTING VOICES & INTERROGATING INJUSTICES ONE SCHOOL AT A TIME

OUR MISSION

InLight is a youth-led and institutionally-backed platform for dialogue that explores cultures, lifts voices, and interrogates injustices.

Contributors tell their own stories, shedding light on their experiences, customs, politics, and the social issues of their communities. We hope to expand the cultural lens of our readers, providing a shock to complacency and antidote to intolerance. We strive to foment empathy and inspire action within our youth, across our schools and in our greater society.

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THE DISCUSSION AROUND MENTAL HEALTH: WHY ARE WE SO SCARED? INGRID GRUBER '22

I have depression, anxiety, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. I bet that a large majority of you are a bit uncomfortable that I just told you that. To be honest, I’m a bit uncomfortable that I said that.

However, I have an undeniable feeling that I shouldn’t be and I wouldn’t be if more people talked openly about mental health.

When I began to experience symptoms of mental health illnesses, I thought that it was just in my head, as I hadn’t heard anybody talk freely about the symptoms before. I didn’t tell anyone, not even my parents, as I was too afraid of what people would say. I worried that people would judge me and treat me differently.

Now, one of my greatest regrets is not confiding in someone when I first began to experience the symptoms.

If I had, I wouldn’t have struggled for months alone. I wouldn’t have scars on my arms or thighs from cutting, and I wouldn’t have contemplated suicide or been so distant, missing out on experiences that I would have otherwise loved.

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A discussion would have made the past few years of my life much easier. For people who weren’t so lucky as to eventually find that discussion, it could have saved their life.

There is such a stigma surrounding mental health and people who suffer from these conditions, such as depression or anxiety. Those who suffer are left to grapple alone, fearing the responses that they will receive if they confess their struggles.

There are an estimated 16.2 million adults in the U.S. suffering from depression, 40 million adults in the U.S. struggling with anxiety, and 2.2 million dealing with obsessivecompulsive disorder. It’s safe to say that these illnesses aren’t rare. In fact, they are incredibly common. So, I constantly find myself wondering, “Why are we so afraid to talk about them?”

Over time, I’ve started to come up with an answer: We fear the responses. There are stigmas and stereotypes surrounding mental health and those who suffer from mental health illnesses. Additionally, these conversations, especially when it includes sensitive topics, such as suicide, tend to make people uncomfortable. Therefore, it’s easier to disregard the subject completely.

However, I can’t help but think that if we spent more time discussing these issues, the majority of these fears, stigmas, and discomforts, would, for the most part, cease to exist.

I know, as of right now, the discussion is uncomfortable. But I beg all of you, please be open to having these conversations because as someone who has dealt with a mental health issue first-hand, I can attest to the fact that it would have been helpful. I would have appreciated knowing that there are multitudes of people sharing my struggles and experiences. Even if I didn’t realize it at the time, I can understand now, that talking about the pain would have been healthier than keeping it pent up inside and expressing it through scars on my arms. Please don’t be afraid to have a discussion, whether you yourself are dealing with a mental health illness or not. Understanding that having these conversations can save people from great amounts of anguish, and could possibly save lives.

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UNTITLED

Oil on canvas

KYRA LAYMAN '21

I hate the quote “good vibes only”. When I see it on a sticker or a sign or a card, I want to tear my eyes out. Well, not quite, but I do have a problem with that phrase. We’re constantly told through the media and pop culture to pick ourselves back up again when something bad happens– to dust ourselves off and put on a brave face. What those songs and books and movies aren’t saying is that we also need time to find comfort, to regroup, and to gather up our strength before we go back out again and tackle the world. This isn’t to say that we should all become hermits and wallow in self-pity for the rest of our lives, but I hope this painting serves as a reminder that it is okay to take some time for ourselves to remember the important things.

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THE CONNECTIONS BETWEEN TEEN MENTAL HEALTH, TEACHER RELATIONSHIPS, AND SCHOOLS SOPHIA RASEVIC '22

N

Navigating mental health as a teenager can be challenging, and, in my experience, school often ends up making it worse. Most teenagers are already experiencing stress, and the American Psychological Association states that, “Teens reported that their stress levels during the school year far exceeded what they believe to be healthy (5.8 vs. 3.9 on a 10-point scale)”. Adolescence is the time when students need a teacher to be there for them and help guide them through the stress that comes with life. Most students start to experience the stress of both school and home in middle school, when students are beginning to have an increased amount of schoolwork (though not as much as a high schooler).

Then, high school comes along and your classes start to get harder, expectations grow higher, and you end up spending most of your time doing work and activities surrounding your school. During this time, healthy teacher-student relationships are critical.

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Creating a bond with an adult or a teacher at your school gives you someone to talk to, and the ability to seek them out in times of need. Most students have a somewhat clean transition from their middle school to high school when it comes to workload and stress, however, my story is slightly different.

I went to a large middle school with around 500 kids in my graduating class.

This meant that if you were struggling in a class or were having a tough time at home, no one checked to see if you were well. Don’t get me wrong, I had some nice teachers during my three years at this school, but nothing compared to Burke.

My middle school experience was decent up until my eighth-grade year, when I began to struggle with my mental health.

I was having a lot of trouble with my school’s administration and relationship problems with those who mattered most to me. I began to slack off and not complete my work, and most of my teachers didn’t notice. I needed a teacher or adult at school to ask me how I was doing and genuinely help me, but instead, I got in trouble and yelled at all the time.

The lack of support from my teachers brought me down, and it made me view teachers as people who have a negative impact on a student's life. So, when I came to Burke and all of my teachers wanted me to do well and help me succeed, I was surprised.

My experience at Burke so far has been an incredibly positive one. It has been a place where I have grown into my own person, and I am continuing to thrive. Most importantly, I have adults at Burke that have been there for me throughout my entire transition from middle school to high school. At the beginning of ninth grade, I struggled to put myself out there in the community and to accept help from teachers. It was no fault of theirs; I just wasn’t used to a teacher wanting to help me and I didn’t know how to react. But, through talking to my advisors and going to them when I needed help, my high school experience changed and has been even better than I ever anticipated. I have formed good relationships with my teachers and I know that even when I get stressed out or anxious they want what is best for me and will help me to reach my goals.

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Being a teenager can be extremely challenging, so if you have people who want to help you, you should go to them in your times of need. Having just one teacher or adult that you can go talk to in school is extremely important. When you are a teenager who is constantly stressed out with school, homework, and other activities, it can be burdensome.

Therefore it is important to take care of yourself. Mental health can be hard to deal with and trying to resolve and work through it on your own does not always work out for the best.Furthermore, if you are a teacher, I encourage you to check up on your students. Achieving good mental health is a journey that no one should go through alone.

A BAND OF HOPE Water color on paper JAX AUGUST '21

This is a painting of my own hand wearing a hospital band. I was doing art with my roomates (in the hospital) showing the frustration towards the world and being stuck in one mindset while also not giving up a fight for a better life.

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WE

SYDNI MING HOLLAND HILL '22 “THE GREATEST HAZARD OF ALL, LOSING ONE’S SELF, CAN OCCUR VERY QUIETLY IN THE WORLD, AS IF IT WERE NOTHING AT ALL. NO OTHER LOSS CAN OCCUR SO QUIETLY; ANY OTHER LOSS — AN ARM, A LEG, FIVE DOLLARS, A WIFE, ETC. — IS SURE TO BE NOTICED.” — KIERKEGAARD

I am losing myself I have to be brutally honest I am losing my mind I have been an imposter for the longest Not in a way that would hurt another person But merely myself I am an altruist I tried to fit in with the narcissists The people I thought I had who haven’t cared I try to stray away but I can’t resist Only for a single moment of acceptance I am soon be ignored As if I don’t exist I do so much for others that I forget myself The stress is overwhelming like a looming tower Every inch of my agitation lasts for hours I stitch on my delight While my psyche is diminished Enshrouded, encapsulated Oh, how it is so tiring to want to be loved Oh, how it is so exhausting to want to be acknowledged I want to beg, cry, kick, and scream For a right that should be mine Whenever I complain, they say “It’ll come with time.”

I used to blame myself for the faults of others With extreme negative thoughts, I was smothered But I won’t apologize for feeling I won’t comply to satisfy your fragility I won’t shut myself up and suppress my abilities I won’t be silent I won’t let you silence me There’s more to me than paying up my spontaneous “dues” For being a little eccentric, artsy, or alone my skin’s hue.

It’s never just I or me It’s not just you It’s us. It’s we.

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THE BALLOON OF TOXIC MASCULINITY Ben McLenaghan '20 I want you all to imagine a little blue

Other effects are emotional immaturity,

balloon. Now imagine filling it up, getting

being

bigger and bigger. What happens when it

depression, which often manifests in

gets too big? Pop. Sadly, this is what

violent ways. My father grew up in a house

happens to far too many men who

where

suppress their emotions. These men are

emotions. As a result of growing up in that

conditioned by society to be emotionless

environment, he often struggles to talk

and “manly”. They keep their emotions

about what is troubling him and to ask for

bottled up inside and let them build up

help. Before he got help, he would have

until they… POP. It is an incredibly

enormous

common and damaging phenomenon that

holding everything in. These outbursts

results

and

would be so strong that they surprised

emotional immaturity and insecurity that

and upset the people around him. As a

affects these men's lives and the lives of

result of suppressing his emotions, my

those around them. This is an issue that is

father negatively affected himself, and

not talked about enough. Society has

many others. There are solutions to this

created this ridiculous idea that getting

issue. Therapy is always an option. The

help or showing weakness makes you “less

information you give to a therapist is

manly”.

According to the American

confidential and they will never judge you.

Foundation for Suicide Prevention, men die

Other people are available as well. Seek

by suicide 3.5 times more often than

out family members, trusted friends, your

women. That number is staggering. If men

school counselor or advisor, or your

weren’t scared to get help, this number

romantic partner. And if somebody has an

would be much lower. Men are trained to

issue with you finding help, you should cut

be impervious to any type of pain. A study

them out of your life. Finding help is okay.

by Stanford University showed 12 men and

What I want you to do is to just talk about

12 women disturbing images. In the

what’s going on. Pushing your emotions

women, nine areas of the brain showed

down will lead to nothing but sadness,

higher activity when viewing the images. In

anger, or even self-harm. Also, make sure

the men, only two areas of the brain

that you are a safe place for a friend to

showed higher activity. This illustrates the

confide in if they are having issues of their

effect of feelings being driven out of these

own. It’s silly to have to stop feeling in

men.

order to be a man, so don’t give in to that

in

outbursts

of

anger

emotionally

nobody

10 | MENTAL HEALTH

talked

outbursts

idea, just talk.

abusive,

of

about

anger

and

their

from

SOCIAL NORMS ARE BREAKING PEOPLE AND RUINING LIVES

Throughout most of elementary school, body image was not a major issue for me, just a nagging idea in the back of my head. I had yet to really be exposed to, or notice the negative, unhealthy ideas surrounding body image that I became much more aware of in middle and high school environments.

ANONYMOUS

And while I was sometimes bothered by the way I

There are many ways to look at and discuss the

surrounded by other girls my age, it was nowhere

very taboo topic of body image and mental

near the struggle I face today. Most of the negative

health. And I say taboo because, in our society,

thoughts I had were planted there by a couple

people fear discussing these topics and avoid

other girls who would tease me, but I tried to

them at all costs. The reality is, everybody thinks

ignore them and my mental health wasn’t severely

about these things. Everybody talks about these

affected until I was 11 or 12 years old. As soon as I

things, but not in a healthy way. There is a major

entered middle school, everything changed. I was

disconnect, a broken bridge, between the social

exposed to social media, norms, and much more

media we look at daily, and the reality of the

bullying. Around me, my friends were struggling

bullying that is happening whether it goes

with the same issue yet it felt like we were alone

unnoticed or not. Bullying around the subject of

because it was affecting us all in different ways. To

body image and looks can be blunt and

this day, my issues with body image have grown

indiscreet, telling somebody they don’t look good

and evolved and continue to be a struggle.

looked when I would be at gymnastics or soccer

or are ugly, using words with a negative connotation linked to them. However, these

This topic of conversation is avoided in our society

types of bullying can also hide behind a mask of

due to the discomfort and awkwardness that it

kindness and compliments, comments that can

brings. I know from personal experience how

be oversexualizing, exposing, ridiculing and

difficult it is to be struggling with your own body

abusive. Bullying that targets looks can lead to

image and the way you see yourself because, at

insecurities,

in

least to me, it feels as if it is in some way your own

extreme situations, eating disorders, depression

fault. But the truth of it, as I have come to realize

and anxiety. Social norms, the standards to

over the past year alone, is that it is so much easier

which people are held to in society, are also

to deal with these things when you aren’t

tearing people apart by planting negative self-

struggling alone. In all honesty, negative body

images in their heads. Social media, on the other

image has become an epidemic in our society and

hand, gives us a false sense of what the norm is,

we need to be more open about these issues in

and puts unhealthy, dangerous images in our

order to progress positively.

self-doubt,

self-hatred

and

minds. These images are what cause people to fall into loops of self-hatred and negative stigma around food.

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THE BOX OF MY ANXIETY assorted mediums in cigar box SIGITA PUŠKORIUS ‘21

12 | MENTAL HEALTH

COLORS IN LIFE Acrylic on wood

JAX AUGUST '21

This painted hand represents all of the different intertwining aspects of your life and how, with the slightest change in behavior or mindset, you can change everything.

13 | MENTAL HEALTH

Photo by Lily Barnes '21

NAVIGATING THROUGH MENTAL HEALTH IN HIGH SCHOOL NATE MILLER '21

When I was younger, mental health was always

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is challenging in

something in the back of my mind, and I

ways

perceived it as something uncomfortable to talk

understand. I would sleep as much as possible

about. When I turned fourteen, I was diagnosed

and take naps during the day so I didn’t have to

with obsessive-compulsive disorder and clinical

be in my own mind thinking about my

depression. I didn't understand what was going

compulsions. I felt like a prisoner to my illness,

on in my head. Suddenly, getting through one

and I would spend way too much time

single day felt like a struggle, and I could barely

obsessing over my intrusive thoughts. Luckily, I

find the motivation to get out of bed. I struggled

eventually met someone else with the illness,

with horrible compulsions, recurring intrusive

and we shared our strategies for staying sane.

thoughts, and I was depressed all the time to

Meeting a friend with the same illness as me was

top it off. Luckily, my conditions were treatable

a substantial part of my recovery because it

and I have received a lot of help from

helped

psychiatrists and therapists on my continuous

recognition of the pain of other people.

that

only

me

heal

those

who

through

have

it

empathy

can

and

road to recovery.

In the same month, I found out that I had In the last few years, I have been prescribed just

depression. It made sense, though, because why

about every antidepressant. Some of them gave

else was I so sad all the time? It didn’t really

me horrible side effects, such as a feeling of

come as a shock, but I was scared about what it

inner restlessness, and I felt hopeless and

meant for my future. I was worried that my

miserable. Luckily, I finally found a medication

condition would get worse and that I might not

that seems to be improving my condition.

have the energy to graduate from high school.

However, during the worst days, my mind would

Luckily, I managed to get on the right track by

wander to dark places if I wasn’t constantly

following

distracted.

specialists and my family.

14 | MENTAL HEALTH

the

guidance

of

mental

health

Interestingly, I credit my healing over the last few years mainly to my decision to switch schools. I suffered from the worst of my struggles at my old school, and the choice to switch my environment proved to be a good decision.

Mental health is a tremendous challenge for people everywhere, and it is important to develop strategies, lifestyles, and treatments to combat its harm.

MENTAL HEALTH IS A TREMENDOUS CHALLENGE FOR PEOPLE EVERYWHERE, AND IT IS IMPORTANT TO DEVELOP STRATEGIES, LIFESTYLES, AND TREATMENTS TO COMBAT ITS HARM.

Throughout my experiences with depression and other mental illnesses, I have learned that the best treatment is a combination of medicine, therapy, and exercise. Working out releases endorphins and serotonin, which is extremely useful in battling depression and depressive episodes.

My advice to other kids my age who deal with the same issues is to develop strategies to slow yourself down and be mindful of the present, instead of falling victim to a vicious thought cycle.

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WHEN ISOLATION BECOMES INVOLUNTARY WES CASTLE '22

W

What is it like to feel alone? It’s something we’ve all felt at some point, whether it be for a minute,day, or month. A 2018 study found that 46% of Americans reported feeling alone more often than not, and that 43% have no person to confide in.

It’s admittedly a much more mundane problem than something as serious as police brutality or antisemitisim. But maybe it’s the fact that this problem is mundane—that a lot of people deal with this every single second of their life—that makes it so scary.

A lot of people can relate to the feeling of being alone, but when it gets to the point where you feel alone months on end, it becomes a problem.

And sometimes, it isn’t something that you can completely solve yourself. It's hard to wake up and be in the constant mindset of bettering relationships that you don’t even think exist. Sometimes it takes a second person to step in and help.

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I remember when I was at my school’s open house. I was scared. We were all in the school hallways, people were standing in crowds, and it seemed as if everyone already knew each other. I kept to myself, trying to make myself look busy on my phone. I was too scared to take a cupcake from the table or talk to anyone—I didn’t want to mess up any first impressions. It was at that point when I remember someone walking away from the crowd to approach me. He was a returning student.

I don’t remember who it was, but I remembered how our conversation went.

Without me saying anything, it seemed like he understood that I wanted to talk to people, but was scared.

We began talking, and I finally began feeling comfortable. It gave me a bit of a confidence boost, and for the rest of the vist I finally began to socialize.

Knowing that someone cares enough about you that they make an effort to talk to you, can easily change your confidence.

Having people in your life makes you feel like you exist, and makes you feel like you’re not alone.

People can branch out themselves, and manage to become more comfortable without any assistance, but sometimes we do need help, and don’t have people we can talk to.

Some people are not lucky enough to have people to talk to. What do you do when, no matter what you say, no one seems to acknowledge you? When you feel almost isolated from everyone else? It’s hard to keep on trying after you’ve spent every ounce of energy trying to break out of your shell and talk to people, but no one returns the favor. These kinds of things make you end up feeling worthless- a burden to yourself and the few people around you. And it’s almost never one person's fault. And although we can never fully take away the feeling of loneliness that our friends might feel, we can at least try and make a difference.

17 MENTAL HEALTH

As a side note, not everyone feels emotions the same way. There are countless people who are fine with keeping to themselves, and would much prefer solitude than socializing.

There are also people who may want to get out of their shell, but without the help of others. People vary, and if we truly want to help, we have to understand what they want—even if that means leaving them alone. But when you see someone constantly alone, try and offer some time to them. We as people can pick up social clues pretty easily, and can help alleviate a burden if we just give up some time to talk to those who need it most. Sometimes, all we need to do is start the conversation, which could in turn, start the solution to what someone else is facing.

RESOURCES Lucy Kernan-Schloss Ph.D. Psychological Counselor 202-362-8882 x607 lucy.kernan-schloss@burkeschool.org https://calendly.com/appointments-with-lucy-burke-counselor National Suicide Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 The Trevor project provides mental health information specifically for LGBTQ youth https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/ The Centers for Young Women’s Health and Young Men’s Health provide a series of guides on mental health, including issues from test anxiety to depression and eating disorders https://youngwomenshealth.org/emotional-health-index/ https://youngmenshealthsite.org/ Girls Health offers guidance to teenage girls specifically on issues of mental health, how to seek help, and talking to parents about concerns https://www.girlshealth.gov/index.html Reachout provides comprehensive resources on mental health iisues.https://au.reachout.com/

PAGE 18 | MENTAL HEALTH

OUR TEAM MEET THE INLIGHT EDITORIAL BOARD!

KYRA LAYMAN '21 CO-EDITOR IN CHIEF & LAYOUT

LENA STREITWIESER '22 CULTURAL AFFAIRS

SIGITA PUSKORIUS '21 CO-EDITOR IN CHIEF

STEVEN LEE

INGRID GRUBER '22

FACULTY ADVISOR

COMPARISON CORNER

LARA CATILINAREBUCCI '22

NICK CATLETTJENKINS '21

KORNELIA MOSTROUS '20

LAYOUT ADVISOR

CULTURAL AFAIRS

ARTS EDITOR

SPECIAL THANKS TO DAMIAN JONES, JULIA H. CAIN, LUCY KERNAN-SCHLOSS

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