The Saol Gaze (The National Neighbourhood 2017/18)

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SAOL Gaze

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The SAOL Gaze

Celebrating female creativity over the last 200 years, women from the SAOL Project in Dublin 1 worked with artist Sorcha Kenny to explore and respond to work from The Long Gaze Back, an anthology of Irish women writers which is this year’s selection for Dublin: One City, One Book. The group read and discussed the book together, then responded to the work through their own creative writing. The resultant pieces were combined with lines from the book (visually identified in this booklet through the use of red text) and as well as appearing in this pamphlet, they were developed into a filmed portrait, shot on location in the Abbey Theatre.

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Photos by Karl Leonard 2

The SAOL Gaze

W R IT TEN BY

Sara Collins Pamela Hafford Fawn Hanley Jessica Hanney Celine Larkin FionaLucia McGarry Edel McCormack Adrienne O’Connor Antoinette Rice Patricia Ross Carol Savage DEV ISED BY

Sorcha Kenny FAC I L I TAT E D B Y

Dublin’s Culture Connects

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Foreword Sorcha Kenny, May 2018

This writing comes out of a series of workshops I facilitated with SAOL Project as part of Dublin’s Culture Connects’ The National Neighbourhood.

When I came into SAOL at the beginning of our National Neighbourhood project I was the artist in the room, nervous, trying to figure out what we would make together. The women in SAOL have faced many challenges in their lives. Through our first couple of workshops, one theatre-based, the other a memory exercise based around clothing, I felt there was a need to use art to transcend those challenges and adversities. It being year of the woman, celebrating one hundred years of suffrage, we also discussed how we felt about being women in Ireland today and about how most of us in the room still wouldn’t have been able to vote in 1918, not being property owners.

Serendipitously one day I sat in on a SAOL creative writing workshop with facilitator Adrienne O’Connor and was blown away by the great writing that was in the room, by the immediacy the women had with words and the page. At the time I was re reading The Long Gaze Back, an anthology of Irish women writers edited by Sinéad Gleeson. It had been announced as the choice for Dublin: One City One Book 2018, a Dublin City Council initiative led by Dublin City Public Libraries, which encourages everyone to read a book connected with the capital city during the month of April every year. It seemed to reflect so much of the work we were doing in SAOL as well as the fact it’s a book celebrating 200 years of Irish Women writers.

The seed was planted. I knew what our National Neighbourhood project would be.

Anne Gannon at Charleville Mall Library kindly loaned copies of The Long Gaze Back to all the women of SAOL and we began our reading/writing group. Every week we would read a couple of stories from The Long Gaze Back, 4

The SAOL Gaze

together out loud, taking turn to read. Then a break for the all important breakfast, a massive part of the SAOL morning and an aspect I will definitely miss. Hot tea and toast has never tasted so good. After breakfast we would sit around the table and discuss what we had read earlier that morning. Such interesting insights came out of those discussions. This was followed by the writing portion of the workshop. Each of us would pick out individual lines from the stores we had read that stood out or spoke to us in some way. The women would use those lines as jumping off points, adding their own lines to create new stories and ideas.

The text you see here is the result of those exercises. We continued this process for four sessions. Time was our only barrier. The words were flowing but my time with SAOL had come to an end. What you see here is only a taster of what these extraordinary women are capable of.

Towards the end of our time, Sinéad Gleeson very kindly came in to chat to us about The Long Gaze Back, writing and getting published. She gave the women advice, tips and encouragement.

I feel a fire was lit under us all that day of what we, as artists are capable of. We just need to stick at it. Again I was reminded of the sheer determination of the women of SAOL. As well as this publication we also made a moving image piece called The SAOL Gaze, filmed on location at the Abbey Theatre, who were one of our partner organisations on The National Neighbourhood. It felt apt to have the women stand with confidence and pride on the stage of the Abbey as their words echoed through the auditorium. I’ve no doubt in my mind that my SAOL sisters will continue to make great art and it’s been one of the highlights of my career getting to collaborate with them.

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I would like to give my thanks to: Linda Devlin for all your hard work and to all the team at Dublin’s Culture Connects.

Sinéad Gleeson for coming in and talking to us how about the process of writing and getting published. To Ray and Fiona and all the staff at SAOL for allowing the space and time for great things to happen and for taking part yourselves not just sitting on the sidelines. Phil Kingston at the Abbey Theatre for hosting us and always being a great support to SAOL. Anne Gannon at Charleville Mall Library.

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The SAOL Gaze

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The SAOL Gaze

Carol

She dreamt that the baby was in fact talking to her hugely and at length endless sentences full of big words and in a voice that was sweet and expressive.

‘Look’, he said.

‘What’, she answered.

‘Look at her wings.’

Edel

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The woman was supposed to be married to one of the men and shagging the other one and the husband suggested Champagne so they all said yes, went up to the bedroom and Holy God I don’t know what went on in that hotel room nor do I want to know.

He nodded but made no move to go. You know I meant no disrespect to you M’am don’t you.

I just felt very low and uncomfortable.

I know I may have appeared to be rude.

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Sara

I was brought into this world a small child not knowing what the plans for my life would be.

I was happy out and always loved to joke but when I turned twelve, a teenager I was not expecting to be endured to what my life turned out to be.

A lot of bad stuff happened to me that knocked the Sara I was meant to be.

At the age of thirteen. I hated my life.

I got lost and very depressed and then I started to pal around with the gang.

Started off on the small stuff drinking and smoking hash to blend in with the clang.

Hanging around corners thinking we were all mad, hanging around with the lads, always being in trouble And in school was a double.

I hated everyone as I hated myself.

I went for years being this so called mad thing but in the end I ended up being the sad one.

At twenty one, I gave birth to my beautiful girl and one year later a baby boy.

I love my kids with all my heart but then I met a best friend who I fell in love with who made me feel loved.

You made me feel calm. You gave me confidence and self esteem.

You made my life feel good for a while Until the best friend I thought you were destroyed my life.

You took my family. You took my kids, my home and my integrity.

You my dear friend took my life.

Heroin you stuck me in for everything I had and today I no know you are a disease that I no longer need.

It is a struggle everyday but the more I work on keeping you away I will win in the end because all you were was a negative thought in my head.

So as I sit here and write today I can honestly say to all you women out there that have been through this, you can do it.

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The SAOL Gaze

Fawn

Everyone in the dream wore woolly jumpers and they

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sat in a circle that looked like a painting of a café in

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the centre of Dublin in the 1970s.

Well, what a girl aged 15 and born in 1980, imagined the 1970s looked like. All she had to go on was images of a past era she saw on TV. If she pictured the ’70s in her head while she was awake, she saw a lot of brown, but in her dream it was packed full of bright and vibrant colours, splashed everywhere. There were more colours and shades than she could list and so many more than you would expect you could fit into a small comfortable cafe. The only woman who stood out at all, was sitting across from her. Although she was following the obvious trend in the dream, her jumper and skirt looked three dimensional while everyone else seemed flat. In waking she realized that the face was physically not one she recognized but in her dream it was far more than familiar to her, as even though it was the wrong face, in reality she knew it represented her mother. As she thought about it, turned it over in her mind and tried her best to commit it to memory she realised something that made her smile. Even if she ended up forgetting the intricate details just the thought of spending that time with her mother she missed so much, was a gift she would cherish.

The sound of crackling kindle still unnerves me, the mortification still scorches. I can’t even live in a house with a fireplace my fear of anything burning anywhere near me is so all consuming since that terrible day.

In those first days after seeing him last Summer, I kept an account of his comings and goings. I began devoting more and more time to documenting his movements until eventually I was giving more of my time to watching his life than living my own.

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Jessica

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Elaine woke to heartburn and the feeling that she was stuck to the bed. And this morning she could not move for the massive weight of the world beneath her and the weight of the baby above.

The club was in the basement and they kissed in the area outside, the drink hitting them both in the blast of cold air.

When suddenly he turned to her and said you are so beautiful.

With that he asked her would you mind if I kissed you and she said she didn’t mind. So they both moved in closer with their eyes meeting along the way and passionately kissed for what felt like forever. She was thinking of how she didn’t want that kiss to end. His lips felt so soft like velvet, well more like silk.

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The SAOL Gaze

Tricia

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The fierce demands that had been made on her body and on her attention were finished.

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She could have met these demands and more. She could have moved mountains. She found the more the child demanded of her the more she had to give.

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Armed guards are conspicuous outside the grounds of their hotel.

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Women moved around the room while polite waiters in crisp white Egyptian cotton pretend not to notice. That the women were in fact whores pleasuring gross skinned dignitaries. The compound seemed safe but in the middle of a war zone.

She began to put herself out, to wonder and

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at thirty-two she was greatly relieved to find

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herself being courted by William Drover.

She had been a widow twelve years now, a young widow who became bogged down by motherhood. William was a gentleman, a man who would take care of her. She wouldn’t be alone anymore. For it was loneliness that led to a five year sherry binge drinking her way through the day. Two years, no alcohol. In two weeks she’ll be married – check this.

Lying in her bed Mrs Bagot thought her husband and the rest of

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them seemed very strange, or else, she thought, fearfully perhaps it was she herself was strange delirious or even a bit unbalanced.

She had had enough. Forty years she’d been married and she had asked for a divorce instead her daughter called the doctor. Now Mrs Bagot was medicated and drowsy lying in her bed.

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Antoinette

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There weren’t three molecules of oxygen left in the air.

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She began to panic as she fumbled with the helmet of the astronaut suit. Time was ticking. She glanced up at the clock attached to the inside of the rocket wall. The seconds came and went as fast as the speed of light but as she put the helmet on everything seemed to freeze.

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The drink hitting them both in the blast of cold air.

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His head began to spin and his legs were like jelly. But then he saw her driving up the street in the red Volvo. The window rolled down and her blonde hair blowing in the breeze.

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It occurred to her that there was a great freedom in this.

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She could grieve the death of her son but celebrate that he was no longer in pain. So that is where she took her comfort.

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They cannot and will not change their minds.

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They’re too old fashioned and stuck in their ways. They will never accept a mixed race child into the family. It's such a shame that they are missing out on their first grandchild’s life. He is a week old already and he is absolutely gorgeous. His skin is so sallow and he’s so good. He just eats and sleeps. The sad thing about it is he looks so much like his grandfather.

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The SAOL Gaze

Pamela

It shouldn’t be so tough with drug busts and gang

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bangers and drunken Eastern Europeans clogging

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up the court hearings beside her.

She sat and looked at all these people walking around plastered drunk and not knowing their own name. She wondered to herself was she like the people before her when she was an alcoholic and mixed up in her addiction.

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What is described in newspapers as ‘sensation in court’ greeted this confession.

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I am now sin free. In my eyes I have a new slate in life, a fresh start, a new me. No more getting in trouble. Oh the thoughts of a new life brings the biggest smile to my face and I promised myself nothing or no one will bring me back down the road to hell. My new life is going to be all about my family. I want to start bonding and doing all the things I missed out on when I was running the streets.

It was the gross ignorance of women concerning the battle of life that made them ever wish to go out into it. I hope and pray to God that the women change their view on life because I know what it is like to live with hatred and ignorance in your heart.

Life is so much better with love and positivity in your heart.

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This is just one of many National Neighbourhood projects that are happening around the city with community groups, artists and some of our best-known cultural institutions. Communities involved range from craft groups to walking groups, choirs to colleges, nursing homes to hospitals, scout dens to schools. Projects are happening in Ballybough, Ballyfermot, Bluebell, Cabra, Coolock, Clontarf, Crumlin, Donnycarney, Fairview, Finglas, Inchicore, Raheny, Rathmines, Stoneybatter and the Liberties – to name a few!

The National Neighbourhood is a Dublin City Council cultural programme run by the Dublin’s Culture Connects initiative. It spans the Dublin City Council region, and brings together Dublin City Public Libraries & Archive, Dublin City Arts Office and Dublin City Gallery – The Hugh Lane, in partnership with National Cultural Institutions (the Abbey Theatre, the National Museum of Ireland, the National Library of Ireland, the National Gallery of Ireland, the National Concert Hall, the Chester Beatty, the National Archives and the Irish Museum of Modern Art).

With the National Neighbourhood, we want every neighbourhood to know and “own” their city’s cultural resources so we build cultural projects in community settings. We connect artists, groups and villages with libraries, museums and creative places to deepen their understanding of each other and themselves.

Dublin’s Culture Connects is a Dublin City Council initiative, which aims to connect Dubliners to their city through culture and conversation. We develop activities and events that bring communities together, and to life. We base projects on people’s stories, wishes and experiences. We do this in the best way possible by listening, learning and sharing. We are not afraid to try new things.

A special thank you to: Dublin City Council All at the Dublin’s Culture Connects initiative, especially Sandra Rodriguez Campos All the women of the SAOL Project who participated in this project Ray Hegarty, Fiona Lucia McGarry, Gary Broderick and all of the SAOL Project staff and volunteers Sorcha Kenny, Artist Bernadette Cogan, Dublin City Libraries & Archive, Central Library Sheena Barrett, Dublin City Arts Office Bláthnaid Conlon, Dublin City Council, Central Area Office Nigel Flegg, National Concert Hall Anne Gannon, Dublin City Libraries & Archive, Charleville Mall Library Phil Kingston, Abbey Theatre Iseult Byrne, Director, Dublin’s Culture Connects Linda Devlin, Project Manager, The National Neighbourhood, Dublin’s Culture Connects Paudie Baggot, Escape Pod Media Karl Leonard, Photographer Sinead Gleeson, Editor of ‘The Long Gaze Back’, published by New Island Books

www.dublinscultureconnects.ie