Year 6: Faith

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Y e a r 6 F a i t h

Maintaining your faith is one of the most difficult things to do. Especially when you don't have the knowledge or answers to your questions.

I grew up in the Christian church and one of the most used phrases was "have faith. " It was the answer to all things. Honestly, sometimes I felt like my granny or preachers just said it because they didn't know the answers either. Also, I was discouraged when I would practice "having faith" and wouldn't receive what I wanted.

For example, when I was in elementary school I really wanted a remote control car. Not just any car the kind with the big wheels and when they crashed they would flip and land back upright. They could go a long distance and really fast. So I asked my mother for a remote control car, prayed to God, and truly believed I was going to get it. Eventually, Christmas arrived and I was extremely excited to open my gifts because I knew I would have the cool remote control car. Indeed I got one too! But it was a small remote control car with a 6-foot cord on it and I had to follow it around. I hated it and not getting what I wanted really shook my faith.

Well in year six, my wife and I had started trying to have a baby. It seemed like the right thing to do. Especially since our relationship was going so well. Also, everywhere we went people would ask when are yall going to have some babies or what are yall waiting for? By the way, don't ask couples that! My guy friends were the worst. They would make infertility remarks or jokes.

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That was extremely hard for me to deal with. There are two things a man wants to do in his life and they are have kids and take care of his family. So when you are struggling in those two areas life can be difficult. Nevertheless, we didn't think we had any problems. We were young and healthy. We just started doing all the things the doctors recommended such as taking vitamins, eating certain foods, and setting our time for intimacy. Furthermore, we practiced "having faith.

Time passed and my wife was still not pregnant. My faith started wavering. It affected my mood and our relationship. I started pointing the figure at my wife and wondering what was wrong. Eventually, she got some tests taken and the results indicated she was fine. I didn't want to take any tests because I believed everything was working properly in my body. I felt it was going to take time and more faith! That's what I told myself. Anyways I finally went to the doctors and find out that I had a rare disease that hinders us from conceiving naturally. I encourage all men to get a full reproductive system check-up.

Can you imagine? The news shook my world. At first, I felt like God was punishing me. I understood that life decisions come with consequences and I thought how I treated women in the past was the outcome. I grew angry with God and myself and life in general. Again, felt like faith didn't work again.

I am so glad I had my wife there to support me. She understood how devasting the news was and showed me how to stay having faith despite it. Also, I had a problem with tying my faith to the end results and not hope and trust in God. When my granny said "have faith" she never provided me a guarantee.

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Unfortunately, in this life, there are no guarantees. So you must choose to Believe or not believe, that is the question? This test of faith didn't tear us apart but brought us closer together. Intentional!

In addition, God often works in mysterious ways. While we were hoping for a child. In the same year, God blessed us with an opportunity to help raise my younger sister. We got her at ten years old and four years later we can see why God placed her in our lives.

Closing Out the Year

To have faith in God, each other, and your goals you must be intentional. Faith is the language of the heart and speaks past the mind. It maintains hope and where there is hope there is still a reason. Here are some ways to increase your faith as a couple:

Pray with each other: Praying is one of the most vulnerable acts in marriage. Inviting your spouse into your prayer life is more important than inviting them into the bedroom. Worship together: Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. When you go to church together you hear the right information and instructions together so it can help you act later. Fellowship together: Get involved in activities and around people that want to help your relationship grow. Serve together: Serving others gives you a chance to display humility and love. It can also set an expectation and standard for how you should serve each other.