Year 5: Love

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Y e a r 5 L o v e

When I was in high school, my friend (Aaron) and I would sing love songs to girls on the phone. He was a much better singer than me and still is. I have a church choir voice and he can provide solos. Nevertheless, my favorite song to sing was 5 Steps by Dru Hill and his was Love by Musiq Soulchild. We would take turns trying to impress girls. But to be honest, at that time I didn't really know what love was.

When we celebrated year five my wife and I had been married for 1,826 days and 43,830 hours. That is a lot of time to spend with someone. Year five was the year I realized she was the love of my life. Now, I know some people might say, it shouldn't take five years to learn that. Well, I think you can love someone, be in love with someone, and then they can become the love of your life. I am starting to think it's levels to this love thing and it's not one event but a process.

When you get married you are committing to spending your life with one person. You become dedicated to learning them each and every day. You have to fall in love with them when you go to sleep at night and when you wake in the morning. Love is a person, love is a thing, love is a place, love is an act, love is a journey, and love can take any shape at any time. It is extremely wonderful and powerful.

Musiq Soulchild did a wonderful job explaining how complex love was in his song. He also provided a sense of hope that if you commit to loving, it would be worth it.

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The chorus states:

Love So many people use your name in vain Love Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray Love Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts Love For better or worse I still will choose you first

Vain means producing no result or useless. Over the years I have observed different relationships where people said they love each other but it produced nothing. Love should produce what it is! It should produce happiness, joy, patience, kindness, generosity, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. If it's not producing those things then it is in vain. I figured out that her love helped produce those things in our relationship.

Faith in love does not come automatically and it must be built to a point that it is unwavering. I learned that you can have faith in love but not enough to stay from falling astray. When you go astray you get off the correct path or leave room for error or morally questionable behavior. When my wife and I had the most issues we strayed from focusing on each other.

In year five my wife and I had been through some ups and downs, joys and hurts and we chose each other. We were at a great place in our marriage. We had faith in love and it was producing good fruit in our lives. Furthermore, we were able to share our journey with others. She is "My Everything!"

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Closing Out the Year

If you want your spouse to be the love of your life, you must be intentional about producing love every day. Remember love can take on all types of forms in your relationship and you will know it by what it produces. Here are some ways for you to produce more love in your relationship:

Love is a Person: Make your spouse your favorite person. Allow them to become your best friend. Love is a Thing: Find out your spouse's favorite thing to do and make sure you do it together. Love is a Place: Know your spouse's favorite restaurants, cities, clubs, ect... and make sure yall attend together. Love is an Act: Go out of your way to do things your spouse wants to do instead of things you would rather do. Also, acknowledge each others acts and show appreciation.