Year 10: Commitment

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I n 1 0 t i o n a l

Y e a r 1 0 C o m m i t m e n t

In my teens and twenties, my biggest struggle was commitment. I was not able to stay committed to anyone or anything. I wouldn't commit to a relationship, a college, or a job. I always have a good reason why. So I thought!

I attended four different colleges. I destroyed several possible good relationships. In addition by the time I was in my mid-twenties, I had more than 15 jobs in a ten-year span. I would leave a job for a fifty-cent raise, LOL. Running or quitting became a habit in my life and it was not producing good results.

I remember I use to brag about having so much work experience until one day I went for a job interview and the supervisor pointed out my lack of commitment. She asked why did I stay at so many jobs for a short period? She saw potential in me but felt that I would repeat the same behavior and did not hire me. I was devastated!

That day I started to reflect on my life, decisions, and behavior. What I concluded was that I had a problem with commitment. It could have stemmed from my childhood upbringing because I lacked stability. As a child, my mother would often drag us from house to house, city to city, and school to school. I lived in a homeless shelter three times, maybe more than 8 different residences, and attended 11 different schools. I grew up with no value for commitment.

Nevertheless, if someone was to ask me why I have a successful career, marriage, and life it's because my wife helped me embrace commitment.

I n 1 0 t i o n a l

To be honest my wife demanded a commitment. Matter of fact she wouldn't even date me until she felt like I was going to fully commit to her and the relationship.

She is a different breed. Her entire life was based on commitment. She was taught the concept by her mother. My wife dated the same guy from 14 to 23 years old. She grew up in the same city her entire life, only attended three grade schools, worked at the same job, and attended one college. She did not believe in starting things and quitting them. She is one of the most intentional people I know.

Even when I tried to sabotage our relationship while dating she wouldn't let me ruin it. She showed up at my apartment and made us confront our issues. She showed me what commitment was and why it was important. Honestly, no one could believe that I was in a committed relationship. But I believe a man will change for the right person. I wanted to be with her and I was willing to do whatever it took. Intentional!

My commitment to my wife also launched a new dedication in my spiritual life and career. Since we have been together I have stayed committed to my family, my faith, my education, my career, and developing student-athletes. No matter what I have going on I do not stray too far from those areas. My commitments keep me focused on what is most important in my life. I must be intentional!

My relationship with my wife is the most important commitment. She is my everything. She is my number 1 encourager and supporter. Due to her support, I have been able to accomplish so much. We are celebrating ten years of marriage because of our relentless commitment to our love and happiness. We are intentional together!

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C l o s i n g O u t t h e Y e a r

We live in a society that does not value commitment in a relationship like it should. It encourages commitment to every but one another. To get the most out of your relationship you must be i n t e n t i o n a l about your commitment to your spouse. Here are some things you can do to maintain your commitment:

E s t a b l i s h P r i o r i t i e s : Don't allow anything to be more important than your spouse and relationship for long periods of time. That doesn't mean you won't stay at the office late sometimes or hang with your friends. It just means you will be more intentional about your love and commitment to your spouse. E n g a g e a n d E n c o u r a g e S e l f - G r o w t h : When we know ourselves better then we know our spouses better, and easier to commit to one another. S e t B o u n d a r i e s : It is important that you are your spouse establish clear boundaries. Sometimes we make unintentional mistakes due to a lack of boundaries. Furthermore, others will cross those boundaries because they are not clear. It is important to discuss the following: the decision-making process, disciplining children, communicating with in-laws, finances, friends, and more. We will commit to what we know and understand.

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