The biggest pain in his life is that his guru is not in a physical body. Mataji: We were working with Swami late into the night. I was looking at him, asking in my mind, ‘Who are you?’ Many times, I’ve wondered that. In that moment he looked at me and said, ‘Who are you?’ “Well, I’m thinking that of you.” “I know, I’m using my psychic. I’ll show that. It’ll be the last touch up.” Swami has said the biggest pain in his life is that his guru is not in a physical body. When he talks about Baba, you feel the devotion for his master. He knows the blessing of sitting with the master. But Baba didn’t give that to him in this lifetime. He did that in another life, but Baba gave him a
painful to hear. He was demonstrating how to be with soul mates. You have to share. You have to be totally yourself and honest with at least one person. He was teaching us about Shiva and the Shiva leelas. Of course, Swami is completely like Shiva. He demonstrated that that night. As we were sitting together, he received a phone call. We were listening as the caller told him about a tragedy that had taken place, a terrible accident where many children were killed. He was talking in Telugu, and you could see by his facial expression and tone of voice that it was serious. He got off the phone and started translating his conversation, all these children had been violently killed. He was feeling the pain of the parents. Tears came to his eyes. He surely like Shiva in that moment, receiving the pain of the children and parents. We were just listening and watching him. He said the souls of the children were coming to him and he was releasing them. All of that was happening as we
different duty in this life. Swami said that is what he really wanted to do, just serve Baba. He doesn’t have the happiness of serving Baba. He said, “I just want to sit and talk to him, I just want to tell him, you know? I want to cry out my tears to him.” The master takes your suffering. Of course, only advanced souls have a guru not in the physical body. But still, it is painful for him. Nityanandaji: You remember, he did get a beautiful experience with Baba in the physical form. Can you tell that story? It was not too long ago. Mataji: It was in January. Nityaananda and I were working with Swami. We were sitting with him in his office for many hours. He was sharing his frustrations some students’ behaviors. He shared heartfully some struggles he was going through. It was a blessing to share that in that even though it was
Sai Kaleshwara worshiping his guru, Shirdi Sai Baba, 2001, Penukonda, India
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