CY Family Mag #205

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Message From the Publisher Hi Everybody, As we prepare to celebrate HASC’S 30th annual concert I’m reminded of that profound and insightful ditty that has emblazoned itself in my mind and engraved itself in my soul and kinda puts it all into perspective.

To wit: Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Yes, I remember that first concert well. I was 8 at the time (give or take) and the excitement was palpable! It was a resounding success and set the stage for all the spectacular shows that would follow. Every year we would wonder how they could possibly top this next year.

But somehow they always did. So here we are, about to celebrate the big 3-0 and the world is toomling with wonder and excitement. Who could they possibly have on the stage to celebrate this milestone event?

Well, although I’ve been sworn to secrecy until the official unveil coming up shortly, I can comfortably say without fear of contradiction that this year’s show will blow them all out of the water!

So you’d better bring umbrellas and a change of clothing! ‘Nuff said!

Now that Sufganiyot have become controversial (What? You didn’t hear?) can Latkes be far behind? So to head off any possible bans, as a public service to our loyal readership, we are in-

serting latkes between all odd numbered pages and jelly donuts between all even numbered pages in select issues! Look for them! They’ll be hard to miss!

But getting back to the issue at hand.

This issue features a no-holdsbarred cross section of mind-boggling editorial so shocking and controversial that we were forced to leave it out.

Instead, we are forced to run our usual lineup of outstanding Torah, Opinion, Inspiration and Sound-Offs that will capture your imagination and leave you panting for more. But for those fine-shmekkers amongst you who seek only the créme de la créme of high literature, we also present two probing profiles in our People section.

David Friedman, an orthodox attorney from the 5 Towns, who was recently appointed U.S. Ambassador to Israel, gets a close look as does Jared Kushner, President-Elect Trump’s ‘aidim’ (son-in -law for those of you who are Yiddishly challenged). We even have a fascinating side-bar answering some FAQ’s about his wife Ivanka’s level of frumkeit.

All in all, it’s a winning combination and truly Ah Michayeh!

Wishing you all ah lichtegin Chanukah, and I’ll see ya in the Shteeble!

Your friend,

Country Yossi

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ISSUE 205

“New York’s Premier Jewish Magazine”

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“Wherever you go, there you are… your luggage is another story altogether!” – CY Dec./Jan. 2017 /z"ga, ukxf

Table of Contents

Volume 29 Number 4

LET’S SHMOOZE ...................................................................................................................................................................................25 COVER STORY • HASC - A 30 Year Celebration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30 SPOTLIGHT • Manhattan Beach Jewish Center . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34 • Photography Workshops by Devorie Zutler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37 OPINION • College Campuses, by Rabbi Berel Wein. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 • Candles and Candor, by Rabbi Avi Shafran . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44

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SOUND OFF • An Exciting - and Challenging - Reality, by Rabbi Horowitz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 • Boeing is Selling its Soul, by Shmuley Boteach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 INSPIRATION.........................................................................................................................................................................................42 TIMELINE ................................................................................................................................................................................................48 FELDER FOCUS • Democrat? Republican? Who is Simcha Felder? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 TORAH • The Power of One, by Rabbi Pynchas Brener . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50

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• Chanukah Power, by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54 • Chanukah: G-d Fights Our Wars, by Rabbi Ben Tzion Shafier. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 • The Birth of the World’s Oldest Hate, by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 PEOPLE • David Friedman: Choice for Envoy to Israel, by Kershner and Stolberg . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62 • Who is Trump’s Jewish Son-in-Law, Jared Kushner? by Uriel Heilman. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 ISRAEL • A New Light Will Shine on Zion, by Dov Shurin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68 CONTROVERSY • YWN Coffee Room: Is Dating Tznius? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70

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JEWISH BOOKS • Top 10 in Jewish Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73 JEWISH MUSIC • CY Songbook: Shteeble People . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 • Top 3 in Jewish Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 HUMOR • Can’t You Just Plotz? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 • Election Upset, by Chaptzem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 • Gadget Mania, by Kayla Kuchleffel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79

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COUNTRY YOSSI FAMILY MAGAZINE • 1310 48th Street, Suite 308 • Brooklyn, New York 11219 Telephone: (718) 851-2010 • Email Address: country@countryyossi.com COPYRIGHT © 2016 - Country Yossi Family Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions. Unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope. We reserve the right to print all letters in part or in full unless specifically requested otherwise. No articles, photographs, artwork or other material in this magazine may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever, without prior written permission of the publisher. Country Yossi Family Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors or advertisers’ claims.

Cover Design: R.A. Stone

website: www.countryyossi.com Follow countryyossi on Twitter

Interior Layout: H. Walfish

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TIME TO GET MARRIED Dear Country Yossi, One problem, or better yet, one challenge that is evident on the shidduch scene, is that of over-qualified women who find it hard to meet their match. They have degrees, they are beautiful, they are refined and have money in the bank. So they are trying to marry someone who also has these assets, but the men fall short. They have unprofessional jobs, are a little sloppy and uncouth, weak in their Torah studies and have little money in the bank. Why would Hashem do this to the women? Doesn’t He want them to settle down with men with whom they will be happy?! This reality is viewed as a mistake, when really nothing can be further from the truth.

Hashem wants you, over-qualified women, to marry these works in progress, love them, build your world around them, and help them become the best they can be.

A previous letter to Country Yossi, written in summer 2002 entitled “How to Turn Your Husband into Mush,” spoke about women who are struggling with difficult and stubborn husbands. It said that these women should reach out to women who are married to good men, and find out how it’s done. It’s all in the details.

I can think of three women in the Torah and Nach who were said to be on a higher level than their husbands, and it didn’t stop them from marrying them. Sarah

Imenu, Shimshon’s mother Tzlelponis and Devora Haneviya.

Devorah actually put her husband in business, bringing wicks to the Mikdash. So while she was answering tough sheilos, he was a delivery boy. And they were both happy.

This is why you are so qualified. You will need all your talents

and wisdom to help bring out the best in your husband. Don’t listen to those who say “You don’t get married to change your spouse.”

Because you do. That is the goal.

Obviously, it needs to be done the right way. You are not his therapist, you are his wife and you have the power to raise him up, thereby raising yourself and the whole world up as well.

T.C. Boro Park

DERECH ERETZ HELPS THE LEARNING Dear Country Yossi, I heard a story this past summer at the Irgun L’shiurei Torah Program from Rabbi Bunim Cohen about Rav Moshe Feinstein zt’l that is eye-opening. Many years ago, while sitting at a sholosh seudos meal at Yeshiva Tiferes Yerushalayim, Rav Moshe asked Rabbi Bunim to say a dvar Torah. Rabbi Bunim said that he did not have one prepared, but a man who was eating with them did, in fact, have a dvar Torah to say. Rav Moshe asked the man to begin. So the man, since he didn’t know Yiddish, said a dvar Torah in English, and throughout the time that he spoke, Rav Moshe listened intently.

He sat forward, looking at the speaker as if he understood what he was saying.

Later, Rabbi Bunim approached Rav Moshe, asking him, “How did the Rosh Yeshiva seem to understand what was being said, if Rav Moshe didn’t understand English?”

He answered, “You’re right, I didn’t understand. But it’s derech eretz to look like you do. And since it says ‘Derech Eretz kodma l’Torah,’ if we have derech eretz our learning is better.”

What derech eretz challenges do we face in our day to day lives?

We all have pet peeves that irritate us, things others do that really bother us. Examples of this are people who speak loudly in public, block sidewalks while talking to others, put out unkempt

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garbage bags on the wrong days, drive and park without consideration, jump the line at a register, make loud parties late at night, speak rudely, eat on public transportation, leave messes for others to clean up, place their garments on tables instead of hanging them up, and don’t shovel their front path in a timely manner, etc. These people don’t display the proper derech eretz, and we all suffer for it. What they may not realize though, is that their learning is suffering for it as well.

L.W. Flatbush

SHUL UNITY Dear Country Yossi, I often wondered why the yeshivishe oilem does not daven together on Shabbos, with the balabatishe oilem.

After all, it would be a big benefit to the shul people since the ruach, the tzidkus and the friendliness of the yeshiva crowd would be a good influence. Why is it then that they make their own shuls, have their own Rabbanim and stay apart from the regular shuls? True, for Mincha/Maariv they do chap a minyan at the shteeble for convenience’s sake. But the real test of where a person davens is where he goes on Shabbos and Yom Tov. We cannot blame it on the talking, because that has improved greatly over the last few years, thanks to a bigger awareness of the dangers of talking in shul, which has been taught by Rabbanim and lecturers. In addition, the organization “Stop the Talking” has prominently brought this problem under control. Furthermore, a yeshivishe family would enjoy the drashos given in their community shuls, since they are very well prepared, include sources that the yeshivishe oilem studies, and the Rav brings out messages that they need to hear. The hashgachos of kiddushim are mostly acceptable by all.

The schnapps too. So why don’t we see this group come to our shuls in droves?

I think it is because of the politics.

There still exists a power struggle within the shuls that comes out from time to time, and at times it gets very ugly. Man has a burning desire to have control, which is why Hashem has given him a place to be in control. That is

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in his home. In Bereishis we read the words “V’hu yimshal boch,” and he shall rule over you. Rashi explains that he will take the initiative, meaning he will set the tone, make the moves, be the decision-maker, etc. But this character trait should not be extended to include his shul. We should not let this happen. It is the Rabbi who should call the shots and the shul meetings should be just in order to implement his instructions. A board that follows this path will succeed and if not, then politics will be rampant; which keeps out from our shuls a worthwhile group who are uncomfortable. Let’s bring them in.

P.N. Flatbush

YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING OLD Dear Country Yossi, You know you’re getting old when the most valuable piece of furniture in your house is the bannister.

When that happens, you start having thoughts about moving to street level.

It helps to be prepared for these changes in our lives, because if we are not ready, it could get depressing seeing our vim and vigor disappear. Another sign of aging is looking for bus stop benches, flat hydrants or even milk crates as we walk the streets, so we have a place to sit down when our legs are about to give. I got a shock myself when, for the very first time, a young girl offered me her seat on the bus as I got on. You mean, I don’t just feel old, I also look old?! That hurts.

Although there is an opinion, that holds, “Mipnei seiva tokum,” that rising for one who reached the age of seiva is not seventy but sixty. So I am happy that people know that opinion.

Yesterday I got another reminder of my body changing, and that was when the optometrist told me I need bifocals. Since the seamless ones cost an extra $220, everyone is going to know that my eyes are not what they used to be.

So the question is, what can we do to prepare for these feelings of doom?

How can we make some change that will compensate for our losses? One

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thing I came up with is to begin to strive in the spiritual realm in my life.

The big gedolim may have many physical shortcomings, but get on the Torah platform with them and you’re minced meat. So if I strengthen my learning abilities, they may not even notice my frailties! True, it isn’t easy at this stage to sharpen our brains. So I’m going to need to really shteig. When I learn a blatt I’ll need to repeat it over and over again to get it clear, to know it, to own it. Meanwhile, I need to call the contractor to install more bannisters.

N.S. Boro Park

HAPPY OBAS DAY Dear Country Yossi, It stands for Older Brothers And Sisters Day. All would agree that these people deserve a holiday all to themselves, after all they have done for us.

From the time we arrived home from the hospital, as infants through toddlers and even into the teenage years, our older brothers and sisters were there to help our parents take care of us. We took it for granted then, as if it was their job. But it wasn’t. They could have said, “I need to take care of myself.” And even when our older siblings were busy with their own lives, they often put everything on hold for us. Looking back, it would be nice for us to recognize this and at least acknowledge their service, their friendship, their self-sacrifice.

I was told stories about how at least four times during my childhood, my older siblings saved my life.

Hashem gave us those exact brothers and sisters for a reason. They also benefited from all the opportunities they had to assist us. They have accumulated many chasadim in their lives, and taking care of us when we were growing up was a big part of the zechusim that they will benefit from in this world and the next.

Chanukah is a time for expressing thanks, so this is the best time to show our hakaras hatov to them. Because, as we thank Hashem during Chanukah for the miracle He performed for our sake, so too we remember others who emulate Hashem by being there for us when we need it most. Thank you my

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older brothers and sisters, for helping me get to today.

Happy OBAS Day To my Older Brothers And Sisters, thank you For all the times you took care of me, and still do.

When I was little you helped Mommy tend to me And you did it all without even asking for a fee.

Dressing me, feeding me, cleaning me, taking me to the parkBabysitting me, playing with me, reading me stories until after dark‌ But most of all, I felt through all those years That you protected me from harm and allayed my fears.

So in appreciation to you, I will bli neder try every day To include you in my thoughts whenever I pray.

C.M. Flatbush

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O P I N I O N

COLLEGE CAMPUSES

BY RABBI BEREL WEIN

R

ecently there have appeared in a number of newspapers throughout the United States articles detailing the appalling anti-Semitism that exists currently on many American college campuses.

American Jewish youth attend colleges and universities in greater proportion to their population than any other segment of the American public. It can be maintained that theoretically and proportionately speaking, these Jewish students are more subject to hate speech and abuse than any other segment of the American student population.

This comes as a distinct shock to American Jewry, which somehow believes that institutionalized anti-Semitism in American education is a thing of the past. Since there are no longer quotas on Jewish enrollment in American higher educational institutions and active discrimination against Jewish students by faculty, administration or other students, prejudice, it seemed, was a fast disappearing relic of the darker past.

However, this rosy picture of Jewish attainment and acceptance is no longer true. From the upper echelons of the Ivy League schools to the almost unknown community colleges, the ugly truth is that anti-Semitism on the college campus is not only present but is accepted and sometimes even glorified.

The disease of anti-Semitism defies any known cure or palliative. It is unreasoning and unreasonable, destructive of all civilized norms and eventually leads to terrible political and social consequences. Any reasoned view of the history of anti-Jewish speech and behavior will reveal the

dire consequences that eventually engulfed all of the societies that tolerated such hate and bigotry. One could expect that the intellectual bastions of society - its colleges and universities would be the places least likely for anti-Semitism to flourish. Sadly, that is not the case at all.

There are numerous reasons advanced to help explain why this troubling and dangerous phenomenon exists today. Some say that it is fueled by the Israel-Arab confrontation and the natural sympathy of the intellect to side with the poor underdog no matter who that underdog may be. Others have pointed out that there is a strong undercurrent of jealousy, especially amongst other minority groups, at the success, wealth, achievement and influence that the Jewish community has acquired in the United States today.

Envy is a very strong emotion that often leads to hatred and violence. And college campuses, traditionally, are the hotbeds of envy - intellectually, professorially and otherwise. All of this creates an environment where the age-old scourge of anti-Semitism can thrive and grow.

Another factor that is often mentioned is that colleges and universities always attract people who yearn for utopian ideals. But, since not one of these ideals has ever been realized in practice, there is always an active search for the scapegoats who somehow prevent the utopia from arriving.

It is what the Soviet Union glorified as being “wreckers” and “saboteurs.”

The Gulag was filled with millions of these hapless victims of the failure of Marxism to bring forth the brave new world that it had promised. In the eyes of many intellectuals today, for

some unknown reason the Jews remain the obstacle to world peace, the eradication of poverty and misery for all and the great new world of the future.

It is the state of Israel, not North Korea, Iran, Venezuela or any of the other nations of the world, which is the reason why the world does not live in peace and harmony yet. And unfortunately on most college campuses, this nonsense is expressed, taught, validated and accepted. Is there any wonder, therefore, why anti-Semitism is so strong and virulent on college campuses?

The American Jewish community, if not American society generally, is awakening to the depths of this problem. It is beginning to realize that antiSemitism hiding behind the right of free expression is an existential threat to the American Jewish community and therefore indirectly to American society itself.

Student campuses today are unruly places with the presence of all sorts of fringe organizations and wacky causes. Jews have obtained rights and stature on those campuses that previous generations of American Jews never dreamt of even asking for.

Yet Jewish uncertainty and insecurity on American college campuses is real and palpable. Young Jews have earned the right to wear a kippah on college campuses and in their classrooms but today many feel that they do so at their own peril. Jews have hunkered down and assumed a low profile, attempting to avoid the confrontations with the militant campus organizations that promote and advance anti-Semitism.

Whether or not this tactic is the correct one, and will prove successful in the long run, remains yet to be seen.

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S P O T L

I

f you are looking for the perfect venue to host your next celebration, look no further. As soon as I saw the newly renovated, incredibly beautiful Manhattan Beach Jewish Center, I knew I found the ideal place for my first daughter’s wedding.

This experience was all new to me, and I found it to be quite overwhelming as planning an event takes time, effort and dedication. However, as soon as I met Benny, the principal of Shaare Zion Catering, and his incredibly professional and talented staff, I felt calm and assured. I knew I was in the right hands.

I was quite surprised to learn that the prices were fair and affordable for such an elegant ballroom that encapsulates a stylishness and sophistication reminiscent of Manhattan, only closer to home, and that can accommodate a 650-guest sit down dinner. The menu options are extensive and original. Their talented chefs can create a custom menu tailored to the most dis-

L I G H T

cerniing palate. Whether you choose an elaborate Viennese table or a stunningly plated scrumptious dessert, you can be assured of the attention to detail each course possesses.

Above all, Shaare Zion Catering enjoys the highest standard of Kashrush for their gourmet cuisine. They pleasingly accommodate several communities, and have hosted Ashkenazic, Sephardic, Russian, Israeli and Persian affairs, all with authenticity and great success.

My dreams were turned into a reality when I saw the distinctive choices of cutlery, chargers, candelabras, as well as beautiful tables and chairs. We had the choice of working along with the highly skilled dĂŠ cor department, as the ballroom magically transformed to reflect our vision. We felt so special to have the experienced staff in each department dedicate their time and attention to us, ensuring that our celebration was the exceptional and memorable event that we hoped for.

Manhattan Beach Jewish Center 60 West End Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11235 (718) 975-4880

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S P O T L I G H T

PhotograPhy WorkshoPs

D

evorie Zutler, an experienced portrait photographer for over 20 years, has a variety of different Photography Workshops for YOU to choose from. By sharing her love and passion for Photography with others, she is able to help women and girls explore their hobbies and talents, in a frum environment.

FROM PHOTO SHOOTS TO PHOTO CLASSES I’ve often been asked why I’ve made the transition from practicing Photography to teaching Photography.

As a young girl, I loved taking pictures. As I got older, it evolved into a real hobby, and I almost always had a camera in my hand.

Time went on. I got married and had children. I was constantly taking pictures of my kids! It was then that I realized how important the gift of Photography is; to be able to capture all the moments and memories that otherwise would be forgotten had you not taken the time to photograph it.

Every summer, when I went to the bungalow colonies, I took pictures of my friends’ kids for fun. Then one year, I went to a new bungalow colony.

Someone approached me, saying “I heard you take great pictures. Can you take pictures of my children? As in… ‘professionally?’” I was nervous to take that leap, but I said yes! It was the first time I accepted money for my photos, but word spread very quickly, and before I turned around, I had a little business going.

It grew and grew, and I was really busy. While it was intense work, it was very rewarding. It was a tremendous sense of satisfaction for me. I loved what I was doing. I enjoyed meeting new people, interacting with the chil-

dren, getting them to smile, and I especially loved finding that amazing shot when looking through my pictures at the end of the day.

I did this for many years, and then one day, everything changed.

I received a call from one of my clients, asking if I can give a Photography class to a group of women who have sick children. After I hung up the phone, many thoughts raced through my head. I had a slight fear of public speaking, and would be nervous, but yet really wanted to do the chesed. My husband is a musician and was always playing for sick children, using his talent for chesed; why couldn’t I? I decided I must get over my fears. I sat down and started writing down ideas of what I could teach these women. I wrote and wrote and got so involved, that before I knew it, I had half a notebook filled. I then thought to myself, “Hey, this would make an excellent Sunday Program for Girls!”

I called a graphic artist the next morning and put together an ad for the first ever Photography Workshop/ Sunday Program for Girls. From start to finish, the idea for this new “business venture” was out in less than two days.

Ambitious? Crazy? Not sure, but the phone calls started coming in.

After a while, many women started asking me, “Do you have a Photography class like this for Women? I’d love to take one!” And I started thinking, “Hey, why not?” So back to my looseleaf I went, which very quickly got filled up! And now I started advertising a Photography Workshop for Women.

My first class had six women.

When they were done, they told me that they still wanted to come back.

“Isn’t there more you can teach us?”

Lo and behold, my Advanced Photography Workshop for Women was born!

And then eventually my other workshops were created: “Learn to use your Canon Camera crash course” and “Need help organizing your pictures on your computer Workshop,” as well as a new “Photoshop Workshop.”

I realized that there was no such thing in the frum community. If a woman wanted to learn Photography, where would she go? A secular college in Manhattan? It made me happy to know that I was providing a place for Jewish women to learn something they loved, taught by a frum teacher, in a kosher environment.

It’s amazing how Hashem works; and the sequence of events that brought me to what I am doing today.

I never “planned” to pursue Photography as a profession, it was just a hobby to me. But, one lady approached me in a bungalow colony to take pictures of her children… And I never “planned” to teach Photography either, but another lady called me to give a Photography Class for women in need… and the rest, as they say, is history.

This evolvement from a hobbyturned- profession, from Photo shoots to Photo Classes, was all orchestrated by the One above - and I thank Him every day for allowing me to do something I love and look forward to every day!

LOCATIONS: BORO PARK, FLATBUSH, WILLIAMSBURG, MONSEY, MONROE, LAKEWOOD devoriezutler.com Instagram: @photographybydevoriezutler Facebook: @devoriezutler (917) 601-7777 pixbydevorie@aol.com

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SOUND OFF

AN EXCITING - AND CHALLENGING - REALITY

BY RABBI HOROWITZ

I

write these lines to share with you my growing sense of unease at the ill will that is being generated with our non-religious and gentile neighbors over the many

zoning and political battles that have emerged over the past years as a result of our exponential growth, b’li ayin horah - and our newfound political power.

In some of the largest Jewish

communities of North America, we are suddenly finding ourselves in the strange position of being a powerful force in the political arena. Elected officials in every level of government are courting us. In some cases, we even represent the majority votes in our local races.

Politics is often a nasty business, however. When these election campaigns kick into gear, otherwise reasonable people resort to negative attacks and smear campaigns against their opponents. In our eagerness to promote ‘our’ candidates, we sometimes stoop to these tactics as well.

There are also significant issues of zoning and land use matters across the United States that pit our real needs against the sensitivities - real or perceived - of our neighbors. Virtually every shul and yeshiva that is built is done so with protracted, often bitter zoning battles. Having just completed a three-year odyssey to secure all approvals necessary to build the yeshiva where I serve as Menahel, I am intimately familiar with the passions that these situations generate on both sides.

As our community grows, b’ah, we will need chochmas Shlomo (The wisdom of King Solomon) to balance the need to pursue our rights while not violating Hashem’s clear instructions to us - in the form of an oath - not to create ill will among our neighbors while we are in exile. (Kesubos 111a).

With all these pots on the fire, we dare not provoke our neighbors needlessly over matters large or small that are within our power to avoid. In the past, this was self-evident as we were a small minority, and couldn’t afford to engender any negative feelings. We also had a greater level of interaction with non-Jews in our neighborhoods than we do nowadays, which heightened our level of sensitivity to their feelings.

Things are very different now.

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SOUND OFF

Boeing is selling its soul By shmuley Boteach

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s an American who travels around the world I’m always proud of Boeing.

Let the critics say that America is no longer a manufacturing country. Every airport you travel to around the world you see Boeing aircraft dominating the tarmac.

That’s why I was so sorely disappointed to see Boeing selling its soul for $17 billion to Iran. This is blood money, and Boeing knows it.

Iran is the world’s foremost state sponsor of terrorism. It meddles and murders around the world. The mullahs run a vile government that is an affront to human rights and decency itself. They murder American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, they blow up Jewish community centers in Latin America, in war they send children to clear minefields and they oversee a country that hangs people from cranes in town squares and stones women to death. In short, the government of Iran is an abomination.

As for the seemingly innocuous issue of selling Iran airliners, there are now credible reports that Iran’s commercial aircraft play a leading role in supporting terrorism.

According to the Washington Free Beacon, “Senators, led by Sen. David Perdue (R., Ga.), have been pushing Obama administration officials to explain why they are helping airline manufacturers Boeing and AirBus sell planes to Iran, despite clear evidence that Tehran is using its commercial airline as cover for its continued terrorist operations across the region.”

Think about this for a moment.

Hezbollah is one of the most bloodthirsty terrorist organizations on earth.

It is Iran’s proxy army on Israel’s northern border. Hezbollah has been

instrumental in keeping Syrian President Bashar Assad in power so he can continue murdering hundreds of thousands of innocent Arabs, including thousands of children with poison gas.

And how is Hezbollah getting its rockets, which it fires on Israeli civilians; its bullets, which it uses to murder Syrian Arabs; and its bombs, which it plants to blow up children?

Commercial airlines, like Mahan Air, are serving that purpose, as Senator Perdue wrote to the Obama administration: “The issue surrounding commercial aircraft usage for illicit purposes by the Iranian regime has now expanded, given new intelligence information alleging that Iran has indeed been using Mahan Air - a commercial airline that is currently subject to US and UN sanctions - to smuggle weapons and ammunition to Hezbollah in Lebanon.”

My son’s IDF unit is in the Golan Heights, facing the monsters of Hezbollah, so this is an issue very close to my heart.

Is Boeing a moral company?

Would they really sell their principles and allow their planes to be used for terrorism? I’m all for American jobs and I want to see the good people of Seattle enhance their economy. But the patriotic Americans who work at Boeing’s factories need to know that the planes they’re going to be building will be ferrying murderous equipment for terrorists to kill men, women and children.

Nothing good will come of this blood money. And all people of good will should be calling upon Presidentelect Donald Trump to immediately kill this deal as soon as he’s in office.

Trump has already said that the Iran deal is a catastrophe. But his ad-

ministration picks have been sending mixed signals as to what should be done about it. General (ret.) James Mattis distinguished himself as the leader of US Central Command when he repeatedly identified Iran as the mad dog of the Middle East. He was essentially removed from command early by the Obama administration because of his opposition to Iran. But later he said that we’re better off keeping the deal and making sure it’s enforced.

Surely by that he means that it’s nearly impossible to reintroduce international sanctions against Iran now that the Europeans especially have prostrated themselves with increasing eagerness to lay their hands on Iranian cash.

I disagree.

America remains the world’s most important trading partner and we can easily reintroduce sanctions against companies doing deals with Iran. Already there was a move to do just that by the Republican-led Senate as punitive action against Iranian terrorism, even after Obama’s nuclear deal.

President-elect Trump can distinguish himself straight out of the gate as a man who takes terrorism incredibly seriously by killing the Boeing deal with Iran and demonstrating to the world that chants of “Death to America,” continuous genocidal threats against Israel, and enabling genocide in Syria will not be rewarded with plush leather seats cruising at 35,000 feet.

If you’d like to “Sound Off” please send your submissions to: SOUND OFF c/o Country Yossi Family Magazine 1310 48th Street, 3rd Floor Brooklyn, New York 11219 Submisssions should preferably be type-written, double-spaced and should not exceed 850 words.

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Inspiration Daddy’s Poem Her hair was up in a ponytail, Her favorite dress tied with a bow.

Today was Daddy’s Day at school, And she couldn’t wait to go.

But her mommy tried to tell her, That she probably should stay home; Why the kids might not understand, If she went to school alone.

But she was not afraid; She knew just what to say.

What to tell her classmates Of why he wasn’t there today.

But still her mother worried, For her to face this day alone.

And that was why, once again, She tried to keep her daughter home.

But the little girl went to school, Eager to tell them all.

About a dad she never sees, A dad who never calls.

There were daddies along the wall In back, for everyone to meet.

Children squirming impatiently, Anxious in their seat.

One by one the teacher called On a student from the class.

To introduce their daddy, As seconds slowly passed.

At last the teacher called her name, Every child turned to stare.

Each of them was searching, For a man who wasn’t there.

“Where’s her daddy at?”

She heard a boy call out.

“She probably doesn’t have one,” Another student dared to shout.

And from somewhere near the back, She heard a daddy say, “Looks like another deadbeat dad,

Too busy to waste his day.”

The words did not offend her, As she smiled up at her Mom. And looked back at her teacher, who Told her to go on.

And with hands behind her back, Slowly she began to speak.

And out from the mouth of a child, Came words incredibly unique.

“My Daddy couldn’t be here, Because he lives so far away.

But I know he wishes he could be, Since this is such a special day.

And though you cannot meet him, I wanted you to know All about my daddy, And how much he loves me so.

He loved to tell me stories, He taught me to ride my bike; He surprised me with pink roses, And taught me to fly a kite.

We used to share fudge sundaes, And ice cream in a cone.

And though you cannot see him, I’m not standing here alone.

‘Cause my daddy’s always with me, Even though we are apart; I know because he told me, He’ll forever be in my heart.”

With that, her little hand reached up, And lay across her chest.

Feeling her own heartbeat, Beneath her favorite dress.

From somewhere in the crowd of dads, Her mother stood in tears.

Proudly watching her daughter, Who was wise beyond her years.

For she stood up for the love

Of a man not in her life.

Doing what was best for her, Doing what was right.

And when she dropped her hand back Down, staring straight into the crowd, She finished with a voice so soft, But its message clear and loud.

“I love my daddy very much, He’s my shining star.

And if he could, he’d be here, But heaven’s just too far.

You see, he is an American soldier And he died just this past year, When a roadside bomb hit his convoy And taught Americans to fear.

But sometimes when I close my eyes, It’s like he never went away.”

And then she closed her eyes, And saw him there that day.

And to her mother’s amazement, She witnessed with surprise, A room full of daddies and children, All starting to close their eyes.

Who knows what they saw before them; Who knows what they felt inside?

Perhaps for merely a second, They saw him at her side.

“I know you’re with me Daddy,” To the silence she called out.

What happened next made believers, Of those once filled with doubt.

Not one in that room could explain it, For each of their eyes had been closed.

But there on the desk beside her, Was a fragrant, long-stemmed pink rose.

And a child was blessed, if only for A moment, by the love of her shining star.

And given the gift of believing, That heaven is never too far.

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O P I N I O N

CANDLES AND CANDOR

BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN

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non-Orthodox writer recently reached out to ask if I would participate in a panel discussion about Chanukah.

The other panelists would be non-Orthodox clergy.

While I cherish every opportunity to interact with Jews who live different lives from my own, I had to decline the invitation, as I have had to do on other similar occasions. I explained that my policy with regard to such kind and appreciated invitations is a sort of passive “civil-disobedience” statement of principle, “intended as an alternative to shouting from the rooftops that we don’t accept any model of ‘multiple Judaisms.’ So, instead, I opt to not do anything that might send a subtle or subliminal message to the contrary.”

“Sorry,” I added, “Really. But I do deeply appreciate your reaching out on this.”

The extender of the invitation, Abby Pogrebin, was a guest in the Shafran sukkah this past Chol Hamoed. Both my wife and I were impressed with both her good will and her desire to learn more about traditional Jewish life and beliefs. In fact, she is currently writing a series of articles for the secular Jewish paper ‘The Forward’ on her experiences observing (in both the word’s senses) all the Jewish holidays and fast days over the course of a year.

Ms. Pogrebin recently produced her Chanukah-themed entry in the series and, with remarkable candor, reported that her research has led her to the understanding that Chanukah is really about the victory of Jews faithful

to the Jewish religious heritage over those who were willing to jettison it.

“I know it’s too simplistic to say the Maccabees stand in for the observant, and the rest of us for the Hellenized,” she writes. “But implicit in so many rabbinic Hanukkah teachings is that we’re in danger of losing our compass, losing our difference - abandoning the text and traditions that make us Jews.”

Then she continues in a personal vein: “And that sense of alarm makes me look harder at where I fall on the spectrum before Hanukkah begins this year.”

Ms. Pogrebin goes on to quote Jewish writer Arthur Kurzweil as maintaining that Chanukah “is about Jewish intolerance in the best sense of the word” - that is to say, intolerance of assimilation to the larger culture.

He adds an analogy: “Baseball has four bases. You can invent a game with five bases; maybe it’s even a better game. But it’s not baseball.” Judaism, he explains, “is not whatever you want it to be.”

She goes on to note that it was hard for her “not to see the echoes of Maccabee-Hellenist tension this very month,” citing her failure to enlist traditionally Orthodox participants in a panel discussion she was moderating, the one to which she invited me. Having requested, and received, my permission to do so, she then quoted my response to her invitation.

Of course she finds reassuring voices, like that of Conservative rabbi Rachel Ain, who tells her “I wear tefillin every morning. They’re black and what all the men wear. I find it so

powerful. I also wear a kippah, but it’s a beaded kippah and I have a tallit that was made for me - it’s green and purple and blue - and it’s very feminine and very halachic… Hellenizing? I say it’s innovating.”

But Ms. Pogrebin is a tenacious reporter, and cannot ignore the other, more Jewishly grounded, testimonies she received.

And it personally pains her. In words like Mr. Kurzweil’s and mine, she hears an echo of “countless voices in the observant world who would likely dismiss my level of Judaism as perilously assimilated.” And she is, understandably, distressed by that thought.

“Hanukkah,” she realizes, “celebrates those who refused to blend in.”

“Where,” therefore, she wonders, “does that leave those of us who, to one degree or another, already have?”

To my lights, Ms. Pogrebin is too hard on herself. She’s no Hellenist.

She may be entangled with the larger culture in which she lives - so are, to one or another degree, all too many observant Jews. But she doesn’t reject the Jewish religious tradition, as did the Hellenists of old. In fact, she has embarked on a quest to better understand our mesorah, and seems rightly suspicious of the blandishments of those who proffer “innovations” to Jewish religious praxis.

Observance, to be sure, is central to Yiddishkeit. But a heartfelt undertaking by someone who wasn’t raised to be Torah-observant to learn more about observance, is hardly the enterprise of a Hellenist. It’s the hallmark, I’d say, of a Jew.

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T I M E L I N E

AN ECLECT IC COL LECTION OF NEWS ITEMS, FEATURES AND HUMOR WE JUST COULDN’T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE!

PUNS, FOR THE EDUCATED MIND 1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

4. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into

8.

9.

10.

11.

12.

13.

14.

15.

a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Atheism is a nonprophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.

When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change yet.’

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

The short fortune-teller

16.

17.

18.

19.

20.

21.

22.

23.

24.

25.

who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In democracy, it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

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26. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.

27. I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

28. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

29. I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

30. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

31. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’m sure I’d never met herbivore.

32. When chemists die, they barium.

33. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

34. I did a theatrical performance about puns.

It was a play on words.

35. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

36. I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

37. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

38. Broken pencils are pointless.

39. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

40. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

41. All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.

42. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

43. Velcro - what a rip off!

44. Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last.

DEMOCRAT? REPUBLICAN? WHO IS SIMCHA FELDER?

O

ne might think that putting his constituents’ needs before any political party’s agenda might have weakened Senator Simcha Felder’s effectiveness in Albany. But just the opposite is true. As recently noted by City And State Magazine in its cover story on the Senator, Simcha Felder has become one of the most important players in Albany.

Unaffected by the national election, which has sent many lawmakers across the country into a spin as they scramble to connect with or disconnect from the two candidates running for President, Senator Felder seems impervious to party politics. Indeed, he has secured all three major lines - Republican, Democratic and Conservative - as he runs unopposed for his Senate seat. Political analysts call him a maverick who has almost uniquely been able to work with colleagues on both sides of the aisle. “He is a political character that defies easy labels,” writes City And State. “He wields a lot of power,” adds Ezra Friedlander of the Friedlander Group. “When everyone is courting you and everyone wants a piece of you, that’s a very good thing.”

It’s true: By joining the 31 Republicans in the Senate (despite having been elected as a Democrat), Felder came out on top. But his connection to the Democrats remains unbroken. “I’m neither a faithful Republican nor a faithful Democrat,” he says.

“If tomorrow it made more sense for me to caucus with the Democrats, I would do it. Political parties are not a

religion. I’m here to serve the best interests of my constituents, not a party.”

When Felder left the Democrats to work with the Republicans in 2012, Frank Seddio, chairman of the Brooklyn Democrats, was furious and called it “a disgrace and a complete betrayal of his constituents.” Four years later,

Seddio has warmed up to Felder again and notes that the party has no plans to try to unseat the Senator, not the least of all because they can’t. “We couldn’t find someone to run against him if we wanted to,” says Seddio. “No one will run against Simcha in his community they see him as the exemplary elected official who cares more about them

than politics.” Seddio added that if the Democrats gain enough seats this election to take back the majority, they will gladly welcome Felder back on their side.

Despite the unique roll he plays in Albany and his popularity in his district, Felder does not use the position to play kingmaker. With rare exceptions, he will not endorse any candidates. “Simcha is not your typical player,” Frank G. Runyeon writes, explaining that Felder has repeatedly rejected offers to be honored at community events. Numerous community leaders concur: “Felder doesn’t demand the limelight. He shuns it.”

So if Senator Felder doesn’t see himself as a Democrat or a Republican, how does he define himself? “He’s too modest to give a straight answer on that question,” said Yehudah Meth, Felder’s director of communications. “But the truth is, at the end of the day, the Senator is his father’s son, he’s his mother’s son.

He’s a confluence of the values he saw when raised by an exemplary couple that the community held in an enormous esteem.” In 1952, the Senator’s father, HaRav Tzvi Mordechai zt’l founded Bais Hamedrosh Bais Aron, which is more commonly regarded as Felder’s shul. “Everything that people love about the Senator - his sincerity, his sensitivity, his dedication to accomplishing things that need to be accomplished - all of this was seeded and nourished by growing up in that shul and by the two parents whom he saw helping people day and night,” said Meth.

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T O R A H Pynchas Brener is the Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Caracas, Venezuela, since 1967. He received his Bachelor of Arts and Rabbinic Ordination from Yeshiva University and his Master’s degree from Columbia University, and is a PhD honoris causa of Bar Ilan University.

He has an internet project and a website: www.pynchasbrener.com.

THE POWER OF ONE

I

have had difficulty in understanding the symbolism represented by the Menorah, the Chanukiyah, as a means of celebrating Chanukah. After all, without warfare and battle, without courage and victory, the Menorah would not have been lit in the Beit HaMikdash occupied by Antiochus and his armies. Had the Hashmonaim not taken up arms, the Beit HaMikdash would still lay in ruins. Should we then not have rather a military parade to celebrate Chanukah?

The usual answer that many offer, including the one I have argued, is that the Rabbis did not want to commemorate warfare. Violence is not an end by itself. The fighting of the Hasmoneans had a purpose, namely the restoration of the Beit HaMikdash as the House of Hashem, the center of Jewish worship. To have taken up arms was only the means by which to achieve a lofty goal. They preferred to emphasize G-d’s help and at the same time use a spiritual symbol, and what better banner than light, the first of Gd’s creation in Bereshit. In our modern framework, freedom may have been what the fight was about. However, in terms of the reality of the Hashmonean years, the probable reason was to be able to observe Shabbat and Brith Milah, to return to the Avodah, the worship that took place in the Beit HaMikdash.

Reading the “Al Hanisim” prayer,

one cannot escape observing the insistence of the sages in stressing time and again, certain characteristics of the Jewish fighters. Thrice daily we shall recite that the oppressors of the Hebrews were ritually unclean, idol worshippers and evil, who purposefully violated a moral code. On the other hand, the Hebrews, even though studious of the Torah, were in effect few in numbers and physically weak.

These facts, few and weak, point to the miraculous intervention of the Almighty who performed miracles, that enabled the weak to overcome the strong and the few to be victorious over the many.

Yet, I am bothered by the insistence on the fragility of the Hebrews when compared to the Greeks.

Could it be that our sages are trying to understand some facts? How is it that a small group of Hashmonaim undertook to rebel against such odds?

After all, they had few fighters when compared to the numerous GreekSyrian soldiers. They were raising the banner of rebellion against a professional army. Did they think they had any probability of success? The answer must be that you cannot remain under the yoke of an oppressor who does not permit you to express your faith, to conduct your life in accordance with the dictates of your conscience. The calculus was not how many we were. The decision had to be based upon the justice of the cause.

You did the best you could under the circumstances. Compliance to brute force and obedience to despotism, was not a choice.

Once in the Beit HaMikdash, they found a lonely crucible of oil with enough fuel to last one day. Why did they light the Menorah before ensuring sufficient oil so that there will be continuity? How would the people perceive a victory that produces a Menorah that is illumined for one day and then goes dark? Would that fact produce confidence? Once again, that was not part of their thinking process.

If the opportunity arose to kindle once again the Menorah, were it only for a brief moment, they felt it had to be done. This may be reflected in the different opinions as to whether the mere kindling of the Menorah is the mitzvah, or the fact that it continues burning for a certain period of time is considered the real obligation.

Let us go back to the father, the Patriarch of the Jewish People, Abraham. Did he think he would teach the entire world a new veritas? Could he remain standing on one embankment of the waters while the rest of the world stands on the other side, against him? Yet, he became the ‘Ivri,’ the one who spiritually confronts the rest of the world. And Abraham won the spiritual battle. He brought the Almighty of the heavens down to the earth.

While we have our serious differences with other monotheistic faiths, there is no question that while Terach, the idol-building father, belongs to the ashes of civilization, his son Abraham shines as the source of blessing.

“Bechah yevarech,” Abraham was to be the fountain that brings forth blessing to mankind. While everyone was an idolater, Abraham went against the current, opposed the absolute majority and preached the existence of an invisible G-d for the universe and beyond.

Abraham had some form of cosmic chutzpah, but above all, undeterred faith that included his readiness to offer his son Yitzchak on an altar to G-d.

The events of Chanukah seem to come to teach the importance of the individual. That one cannot desist from the dictates of his conscience

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only because of number, or lack thereof. How many a task is not accomplished because of apparent impotence, because of lack of faith in one’s ability.

Chanukah says with Matityahu haCohen: “Mi laShem elai,” let those who are with G-d come to my side. We will take a census later on. We will do a head count afterwards. In the meantime it is time for “Et laasot laShem,” a time for standing for what is right and just and against evil and injustice.

I always wondered why there is a “mehadrin” ingredient in Chanukah.

Are we ever told to take 2 lulavim or 2 etrogim on Succot? We follow the principle: “Kol yeter kenatul dami.”

We know that more is not necessarily better in religious matters. We are not allowed to increase the observance of Yom Kippur to 2 days. In matters of the spirit, it is not necessarily true that “tovim hashenayim min haechad - if one is good, two must be better.” In the realm of faith, quality is to be preferred to quantity; kavanah, intent, is paramount.

We are told that the celebration of Chanukah requires one light each night. However, if you want to belong to the ‘do gooders’ you can light more than one light. You become “mehadrin” by lighting a separate light for each member of the family.

And should you want to be “super mehadrin,” increase nightly the number of lights. In the case of sources of light, the greater the number, the more radiant the environment.

Yet one cannot get away from the fact that the Mishnah says that a single candle would have been sufficient.

Because Chanukah wants to teach us “the power of one.” If it is the right source of light, one is sufficient. If one is on the right side of any issue, one’s power becomes limitless. The Hashmonaim were victorious by adding up ones. One of my teachers insisted that only Yehudah was called Maccabbi.

The greatest discoveries in History were the product of single individuals. The most important social and political movements emanated from dreamers and statesmen. From Herzl through Jabotinsky, from Pythagoras through Newton and Einstein, going

through Freud and Marx, the blaze trailers have been individuals. From Rabbi Yehudah Hanasi through Rabi Akiva, Rambam and Rabbi Moshe Iserlis, single minds have challenged us, changed our way of reasoning and understanding the Torah sheBaal Peh, the Oral Law that was transmitted from the time of Moshe Rabbenu.

The Kohanim who entered the Beit HaMikdash after it had lain in ruins and been desecrated, knew that when the opportunity presented itself they had to kindle the Menorah. Tomorrow will be another day. To kindle the Menorah was a daily obligation.

They were not “somech al hanes,” they could not foresee that G-d would perform a miracle for them and permit the oil in the Menorah to last until new supervised oil could be produced.

They had to do their duty at the moment and let G-d do His work.

How many societies remain inactive, frozen, unable or unwilling to react in the face of oppression because they consider they are too weak to confront the enemy. The Psalmist says: “Ohavei HaShem sin’u ra -

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those who love G-d must hate evil,” and must act upon it, regardless of the odds for success.

There is a rule in the Talmud that affirms: “Kol dealim g’var - he who is stronger prevails.” This norm leads many to interpret ‘stronger’ in the sense of ‘argument.’ When our thinking process is lucid, then our argument becomes convincing and will prevail. However, I remember a different interpretation of this principle that interprets these words literally.

And the argument is: if you feel that you are on the right side of the argument, you become stronger even physically. You fight with greater determination, force and conviction when you feel you are right, because justice is with you.

“Lo alechah hamelachah ligmor,” you cannot solve the world’s problems. Chanukah preaches that difficulty is not a reason to turn away from what justice requires. Because when you are right, you do the difficult immediately while the impossible takes a little longer. There is no limit to the ‘power of one.’

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T O R A H

Chanukah Power by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss

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s we enjoy the very sweet festival of Chanukah, it behooves us to brush-up on its spiritual messages.

In this way, we can ensure that it doesn’t become a mere season of gastronomic delight such as latkes and sufganiot (jelly doughnuts) nor will we fall into the trap of allowing Chanukah to become, chas v’shalom, an Xmas look-alike.

A common thread that runs through most of the amazing events of Chanukah is the element of mesiras nefesh, self-sacrifice, of the valorous Jews during the memorable era of the Chashmanoim. Whether it was the rabim b’yad m’atim, the many in the hands of the few, giborim b’yad chaloshim, the mighty in the hands of the weak, the heroic self-sacrifice of the brave Macabees to defend the Holy Temple and the lives of their brethren from the wicked Syrian-Greeks, whether it was the legendary Chanah and her seven sons who, with amazing courage, chose death rather than bow down to Antiochus haRasha’s idol, that message comes clearly through. Another example is the zealous search of the Kohanim to find a single jar of oil with the seal of the Kohein Gadol, a search that can be compared to looking for a needle in a haystack, when they could have allowed themselves the Talmudic heter, allowance, of tumah hutra b’tzibor, that when the entire congregation is contaminated, one can use even defiled oil. Instead, they demonstrated amazing mesiras nefesh in passionately wanting to fulfill the mitzvah in its best possible way. Or, the amazing valor of the daughter of the Kohein Gadol who, instead of succumbing to the wickedness of the Syrian-Greek governor, pro-

tected her Jewish modesty with an incredible act of bravery, killing the wicked official and jump-starting the Jewish conquest.

Chanukah therefore is a time to take stock in whether we have this element of mesiras nefesh in our spiritual lives. When we are tired, do we still push ourselves to get up early to make minyan - or do we succumb to temptation and say our prayers quickly at home before dashing off to work? Do we exercise self-sacrifice in pushing ourselves to attend a shiur after a hard day’s work - or do we cave in to our physical laziness and just go home and read the paper?

In this area, Chanukah should jog us to make a reality check. Is there an element of mesiras nefesh in our relationships with our children? Do we find the time - although there is never enough time - to take interest in our children’s learning, in their character development, in their personal happiness? All of these objectives are mitzvahs of the highest priority, since if we, their parents, don’t attend to these needs, who will?

Do we have the spiritual bounce in our steps to use a Sunday or any day off to provide pleasure for our spouse thereby ensuring the Shechina will permeate our homes? Mesiras nefesh doesn’t only mean putting your life on the line for your spiritual beliefs.

Rather, anytime we push ourselves beyond our natural physical tendencies in order to fulfill the will of Hashem, we are following in the footsteps of the great Macabees, the heroes of Chanukah.

The Aleinu Leshabeiach, on Parshas Vayishlach, tells a fascinating story about the venerable Rav Shach, zt”l,

zy”a. Rav Shach, already a very old man, had to spend some time at the hospital. One day, he informed his family that he desired to go one floor down to visit a man who was also staying at the hospital. Rav Shach had known that this man was treating his wife poorly.

He wanted to talk to him once again about adopting better marital behavior.

The family was aghast as Rav Shach was ill and very aged, yet he wanted to get up from his sickbed and go down a flight of stairs, all for a shalom bais discussion. Despite their pleas, Rav Shach was adamant. They then suggested that instead of Rav Shach going downstairs, they would ask the man to come up to Rav Shach’s room. This too, he vehemently vetoed.

At this point, when reading this story, I thought to myself that Rav Shach’s reason probably was that he was banking on the impression he would make on the man by leaving his sickbed and trekking downstairs. Perhaps this act would impress him to realize the severity and importance of the issue! This just shows how little I understand the minds of our gedolim. Rav Shach went on to explain why he insisted on going down to the room himself. He elaborated that he had worked on this couple’s marriage many times to no avail, and therefore he felt that perhaps if he took heroic measures to be moser nefesh - to get out of his sickbed to help save a marriage, Hashem would see his self-sacrifice and perhaps, in that merit, bless his efforts with success.

This vignette introduces an entirely new angle to mesiras nefesh. Sometimes a spouse says, ‘Why should I go through so much trouble? My mate won’t appreciate it anyway.’ Or a parent thinks, ‘Why am I investing so much energy in this child? S/he just takes it for granted.’ Even if these conjectures are true, the superhuman effort might still be effective, for Hashem might take note of this additional exertion and in that merit might bless us with Divine assistance at succeeding in our marriage or in the chinuch of our child.

In the merit of our mesiras nefesh - both small and large examples, may Hashem bless us with long life, good health and everything wonderful.

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Here are some tips for the days ahead.

Chazal teach us that the last day of Chanukah is the final “gmar din.” Since this is so, the month before it is like an Elul and can be used wisely for a final chance at teshuvah and making peace with people.

Chazal teach us “Gedola mitzvah b’shaata - Great is a mitzvah in its proper time.” As this is the case, we should make every effort, when possible, to light the Chanukah candles in the proper time; forty-five minutes after sunset (according to most opinions). At the very least, we should try hard to do this on Motzei Shabbos and Sunday!

Although family gatherings are a delicious part of Chanukah, they should be planned around the lighting of the neiros in the proper time - and not the other way around! It is okay to blow out the candles after they have remained lit for the shiur - and then one can go to join family, parents, children, friends and neighbors.

Great care should be exercised with the hadlaka on Erev Shabbos. The lighting should be done leaving ample time for the women to make their eighteen minutes before shkia hadlaka. It is preferable to daven Mincha after the hadlaka if that will help ensure that everyone will light on time! Remember, chilul Shabbos takes priority over any aspect of lighting the candles!

When children are around, never leave the candles unattended - especially on Friday night! Also, remember to keep the neiros away from the drapes.

The Gemara in Shabbos informs us, “Kol haragil b’neir havyan lo banim talmidei chachomim - Whoever is careful with candles will have children who are Torah sages.” In part, this refers to the mitzvah of Chanukah candles.

Thus, the stakes are high to do this lofty mitzvah in the most beautiful way possible. Having a nice menorah, keeping it clean, putting it in the right location, saying the blessing with proper kavanah (concentration), and gazing at the candles and wicks, contemplating the great miracles of the Chashmonaim era, are all part of the meaningful fulfillment of this mitzvah.

According to many Chassidic masters, the custom of Chanukah gelt is an opportunity to teach children to

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give tzedaka from their own money.

Latkes and sufganiot are the standard scrumptious Chanukah fare. This is because they are prepared with oil and therefore help to commemorate the great miracle of oil on Chanukah. In addition, it is an excellent idea to introduce cheese platters at a Chanukah banquet. This commemorates the miracle that occurred with the daughter of Mattisyahu, Kohen Gadol (Medrash Maseh Chanukah). When the Syrian Greek governor abducted her, she got him thirsty using salty cheese. She then

plied the thirsty rasha with strong wine, which lulled him to sleep. Subsequently, she killed him, which was one of the miracles that led to the Jewish conquest of the Yevonim.

The fast of Asara B’Teves commemorates the terrible event of the wicked Nevuchadnetzar setting siege to Yerushalayim. In a way, in our time the Arabs are also setting siege to Eretz Yisroel - and we should use this fast as a catalyst to pray for our brethren there, and for the speedy coming of Moshiach tzidkeinu!

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Sheldon Zeitlin takes dictation and edits Rabbi Weiss’ articles. If you wish to receive Rabbi Weiss’s articles by email, please send a note to ZeitlinShelley@aol.com.

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T O R A H

Chanukah: G-d FiGhts Our Wars

By raBBi Ben tziOn shaFier

WHY DO WE CELEBRATE CHANUKAH? “When the Yivanim entered the Bais HaMikdash, they defiled all the oil that was set aside for lighting the Menorah. When the Chashmonoim were victorious, they searched and were able to find only one small jug of oil with the Kohain Gadol’s seal intact.

It had sufficient oil to last only one day, but miraculously it lasted eight days. In honor of the miracle of the oil lasting eight days, Chazal inaugurated these days for Hallel and thanksgiving.” - Gemara Shabbos 21b The Maharal states that this Gemara seems to contradict what we say in Al Ha’Nisim, a tefillah that was written by the Tanaim hundreds of years before. In the Al Ha’Nisim, we proclaim thanks to Hashem for the miracle of the war. We thank Hashem for delivering the Yivani armies into our hands. “You fought their battles, judged their judgments, took their revenge. You put the mighty into the hands of the weak, the many into the hands of the few…” According to the Al Ha’Nisim, the miracle of Chanukah was that Hashem delivered us from the armies of the Yivanim. Yet the Gemara in Shabbos says that we celebrate Chanukah because of the miracle of the oil lasting eight days. The Maharal asks, “Which one is correct?”

The Maharal answers that both reasons are true, and both are consistent with each other. The actual event for which we give thanksgiving and sing Hallel is the salvation of the Jewish people. We won a war against all odds.

However, it wasn’t clear that the victory was a miracle. To people living in those times, the military success seemed to be natural. It was attributed to Jewish resilience and bravery. It didn’t appear that Hashem had delivered us from the hands of the Yivanim; rather, it appeared as “their might, and the strength of their arms.” It was only through the miracle of the oil that they came to understand the miracle of the battle. Once people saw the oil last eight days - an overt miracle from Hashem - they then came to see that their success on the battlefield was from Hashem as well. The miracle of the oil revealed to them the miracle of the war.

This Maharal becomes difficult to understand when we take into account a basic historical overview.

The events of Chanukah take place around the middle of the era of the Second Bais HaMikdash. From the time that Bavel destroyed the first Bais HaMikdash up until that point, the Jewish people lived under the reign of gentile monarchies. Our right to exist and our form of self-government was decided by the ruling parties. We were a vassal state under foreign rule, and when the Yivanim entered Yerushalayim, the Jewish people did not even have a standing army.

This wasn’t a war of a stronger army against a weaker opponent. It was a war in which the most powerful empire in the world was pitted against a band of unorganized, unarmed, private citizens.

While the war itself lasted three years, during the entire first year of fighting, there were no formal battles.

Two armies were not squaring off against each other; there was no Jewish army. The fighting consisted of guerrilla skirmishes. Some Jews would sneak up on a lone detail of Yivani soldiers, kill them, and take their arms.

Bit by bit, more Jews would join Yehudah Ha’Macabi, but at every point during the war, the Jews were far outnumbered, outgunned, and preposterously less battle-ready than their enemies.

Even more startling is that almost all of the original fighters had no battle experience. The leaders of the rebellion were Kohanim. A Kohain is a Torah teacher, one who serves in the Bais HaMikdash, one who guides klal Yisroel in ruchniyus (spiritual matters). He isn’t a soldier. So this was a war led and fought not by soldiers, but by roshei yeshiva. It was akin to Reb Shmuel Kaminetsky leading the Lakewood Yeshiva in battle against the US Marine Corps.

No intelligent assessment of the situation would have predicted a Jewish victory. How then is it possible that the Jews at the time saw these events as anything other than the miracles that they clearly were?

The answer to this question seems to be that when one is many years away and far removed, he gains a historical vantage point. He is able to see an event in context and can easily recognize it as a miracle. But to those living in the day-to-day heat of the battle, it is much more difficult to see the event from that perspective.

To those involved, it seemed to be a natural course of events. Granted, the odds were slim, but the Jews won.

Skirmish after skirmish, battle after battle, the Macabees came out victorious. There is no question that they did well, which is why it seemed that their skill, their cunning, and their wisdom in battle won those wars. And as such, to people living in those times, the miracle was hidden. And then a single event focused their sight.

When the Kohanim returned to the Bais HaMikdash and took out that little bit of oil that couldn’t possibly last for eight days and watched it remain aglow night after night, everyone

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knew it was miraculous. When they experienced the miracle of the oil, it reshaped the previous three years in their minds. Then they could see the battles themselves as the miracles that they were. Exactly as the Maharal said, “The miracle of the oil revealed the miracle of the battle.”

In our own times, we witness an eerie parallel to these events and to the same mistaken interpretation.

For almost two thousand years we have existed as a lone sheep amongst seventy wolves. Universally hated and oppressed, the Jewish people have survived. And now, after almost 1900 years of wandering, we find ourselves back in our own land.

Since 1948, the Jewish nation has witnessed profound miracles in the repopulation and development of the land of Israel. But it is the survival of our people that is the greatest miracle.

In 1948, the population in the Middle East numbered roughly 650,000 Jews, surrounded by some 50 million Arabs. On May 15th, 1948, one day after the State of Israel was declared, five nations attacked, each with well-trained armies and air forces, each alone capable of annihilating the small band of Holocaust survivors. At the time, there was no Jewish army, navy or air force. Yet, against all odds, we won that war, and against all odds we continued to win war after war - until now, ironically, when the Jews are considered the superpower in the region.

To most people, Jew and gentile alike, it seems that this is just the way of the world. To the average witness to these events, it isn’t a demonstration of the hand of Hashem. It is just the ebb and flow of history.

The lesson of Chanukah is to see behind the veil of nature, to tune our sight into the true cause of events, and to see that it is Hashem Who runs the world and fights our wars - then as now.

Rabbi Shafier is the founder of the Shmuz.com. The Shmuz is an engaging, motivating shiur that deals with real life issues.

All of the Shmuzin are available free of charge at www.theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz App for iphone or Android.

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T O R A H

THE BIRTH OF THE

WORLD’S OLDEST HATE

BY RABBI JONATHAN SACKS

“

G

o and learn what Lavan the Aramean sought to do to our father Yakov.

Pharaoh made his decree only about the males, whereas Lavan sought to destroy everything.”

This passage from the Haggadah on Pesach - evidently based on this week’s parsha - is extraordinarily difficult to understand.

First, it is a commentary on the phrase in Deuteronomy, “Arami oved avi.” As the overwhelming majority of commentators point out, the meaning of this phrase is “my father was a wandering Aramean,” a reference either to Yakov, who escaped to Aram (Aram meaning Syria, a reference to Charan where Lavan lived), or to Avraham, who left Aram in response to Hashem’s call to travel to the land of Canaan. It does not mean “an Aramean (Lavan) tried to destroy my father.”

Some commentators read it this way, but almost certainly they only do so because of this passage in the Haggadah.

Second, nowhere in the parsha do we find that Lavan actually tried to destroy Yakov. He deceived him, tried to exploit him, and chased after him when he fled. As he was about to catch up with Yakov, Hashem appeared to him in a dream at night and said: ‘Be very careful not to say anything, good or bad, to Yakov.’ (Gen. 31:22). When Lavan complains about the fact that Yakov was trying to escape, Yakov replies: “Twenty years now I have worked for you in your estate - four-

teen years for your two daughters, and six years for some of your flocks. You changed my wages ten times!”

(31:41). All this suggests that Lavan behaved outrageously to Yakov, treating him like an unpaid laborer, almost a slave, but not that he tried to “destroy” him - to kill him as Pharaoh tried to kill all male Israelite children.

Third, the Haggadah and the seder service of which it is the text, is about how the Egyptians enslaved and practiced slow genocide against the Israelites and how Hashem saved them from slavery and death. Why seek to diminish this whole narrative by saying that, actually, Pharaoh’s decree was not that bad, Lavan’s was worse.

This seems to make no sense, either in terms of the central theme of the Haggadah or in relation to the actual facts as recorded in the biblical text.

How then are we to understand it?

Perhaps the answer is this. Lavan’s behavior is the paradigm of antiSemites through the ages. It was not so much what Lavan did that the Haggadah is referring to, but what his behavior gave rise to, in century after century. How so?

Lavan begins by seeming like a friend. He offers Yakov refuge when he is in flight from Esav, who has vowed to kill him. Yet it turns out that his behavior is less generous than selfinterested and calculating. Yakov works for him for seven years for Rachel. Then on the wedding night Lavan substitutes Leah for Rachel, so that to marry Rachel, Yakov has to work another seven years. When

Joseph is born to Rachel, Yakov tries to leave. Lavan protests. Yakov works another six years, and then realizes that the situation is untenable. Lavan’s sons are accusing him of getting rich at Lavan’s expense. Yakov senses that Lavan himself is becoming hostile.

Rachel and Leah agree, saying, “He treats us like strangers! He has sold us and spent the money!” (31:14-15).

Yakov realizes that there is nothing he can do or say that will persuade Lavan to let him leave. He has no choice but to escape. Lavan then pursues him, and were it not for Hashem’s warning the night before he catches up with him, there is little doubt that he would have forced Yakov to return and live out the rest of his life as his unpaid laborer. As he says to Yakov the next day: “The daughters are my daughters!

The sons are my sons! The flocks are my flocks! All that you see is mine!”

(31:43). It turns out that everything he had ostensibly given Yakov, in his own mind he had not given at all.

Lavan treats Yakov as his property, his slave. He is a non-person. In his eyes Yakov has no rights, no independent existence. He has given Yakov his daughters in marriage but still claims that they and their children belong to him, not Yakov. He has given Yakov an agreement as to the animals that will be his as his wages, yet he still insists that “The flocks are my flocks.”

What arouses his anger, his rage, is that Yakov maintains his dignity and independence. Faced with an impossible existence as his father-in-law’s slave, Yakov always finds a way of

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carrying on. Yes, he has been cheated of his beloved Rachel, but he works so that he can marry her too. Yes, he has been forced to work for nothing, but he uses his superior knowledge of animal husbandry to propose a deal which will allow him to build flocks of his own that will allow him to maintain what is now a large family.

Yakov refuses to be defeated.

Hemmed in on all sides, he finds a way out. That is Yakov’s greatness.

His methods are not those he would have chosen in other circumstances.

He has to outwit an extremely cunning adversary. But Yakov refuses to be defeated, or crushed and demoralized. In a seemingly impossible situation, Yakov retains his dignity, independence and freedom. Yakov is no man’s slave.

Lavan is, in effect, the first antiSemite. In age after age, Jews sought refuge from those, like Esav, who sought to kill them. The nations who gave them refuge seemed at first to be benefactors. But they demanded a price. They saw, in Jews, people who would make them rich. Wherever Jews went they brought prosperity to their hosts. Yet they refused to be mere chattels. They refused to be owned. They had their own identity and way of life; they insisted on the basic human right to be free. The host society then eventually turned against them. They claimed that Jews were exploiting them rather than what was in fact the case, that they were exploiting the Jews. And when Jews succeeded, they accused them of theft: “The flocks are my flocks! All that you see is mine!”

They forgot that Jews had contributed massively to national prosperity. The fact that Jews had salvaged some selfrespect, some independence, that they too had prospered, made them not just envious but angry. That was when it became dangerous to be a Jew. Lavan was the first to display this syndrome but not the last. It happened again in Egypt after the death of Yosef.

It happened under the Greeks and Romans, the Christian and Muslim empires of the Middle Ages, the European nations of the nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, and after the Russian Revolution.

In her fascinating book World on

Fire, Amy Chua argues that ethnic hatred will always be directed by the host society against any conspicuously successful minority. All three conditions must be present.

1] The hated group must be a minority or people will fear to attack it.

2] It must be successful or people will not envy it, merely feel contempt for it.

3] It must be conspicuous or people will not notice it.

Jews tended to fit all three. That is why they were hated. And it began with Yakov during his stay with Lavan.

He was a minority, outnumbered by Lavan’s family. He was successful, and it was conspicuous: you could see it by looking at his flocks.

What the sages are saying in the Haggadah now becomes clear.

Pharaoh was a one-time enemy of the Jews, but Lavan exists, in one form or another, in age after age. The syndrome still exists today. As Amy Chua notes, Israel in the context of the Middle East is a conspicuously successful minority. It is a small country, a minority; it is successful and it is con-

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spicuously so. Somehow, in a tiny country with few natural resources, it has outshone its neighbors. The result is envy that becomes anger that becomes hate. Where did it begin? With Lavan.

Put this way, we begin to see Yakov in a new light. Yakov stands for minorities and small nations everywhere. Yakov is the refusal to let large powers crush the few, the weak, the refugee. Yakov refuses to define himself as a slave, someone else’s property. He maintains his inner dignity and freedom. He contributes to other people’s prosperity but he defeats every attempt to be exploited. Yakov is the voice that says: I too am human. I too have rights. I too am free.

If Lavan is the eternal paradigm of hatred of conspicuously successful minorities, then Yakov is the eternal paradigm of the human capacity to survive the hatred of others. In this strange way Yakov becomes the voice of hope in the conversation of humankind, the living proof that hate never wins the final victory; freedom does.

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P E O P L E

DAVID FRIEDMAN CHOICE FOR ENVOY TO ISRAEL IS HOSTILE TO TWO-STATE EFFORTS

BY ISABEL KERSHNER AND SHERYL GAY STOLBERG

H

e is president of the American fundraising arm for a yeshiva in a settlement deep in the West Bank headed by a militant rabbi who has called for Israeli soldiers to refuse orders to evacuate settlers.

He writes a column for a rightwing Israeli news site in which he has accused President Obama of “blatant anti-Semitism,” dismissed the two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, likened a liberal American-Jewish group to “kapos” who cooperated with the Nazis, and said American Jewish leaders “failed” Israel on the Iran nuclear deal.

He also supports United Hatzalah, an Israeli emergency medical services group that prides itself on integrating Arab and Druze volunteers; helped build a $42 million village for disabled children - Bedouin and Jewish - in the Negev Desert; and is known as an affable host of large holiday meals at the penthouse apartment he owns in a well-heeled Jerusalem neighborhood.

Now, David M. Friedman, an Orthodox Jewish bankruptcy lawyer from Long Island, is Donald J. Trump’s pick for ambassador to Israel, despite his lack of diplomatic experience and frequent statements that flout decades of bipartisan American policy.

“Bankruptcy law and involvement with settlements are not normally seen as appropriate qualifications for the job,” one of its former occupants, Martin S. Indyk, said on Friday. “But then these are not normal times.”

Mr. Friedman, 58, has done legal work for Mr. Trump since at least 2001, when he handled negotiations

with bondholders on Mr. Trump’s struggling casinos in Atlantic City. Mr. Friedman represented Mr. Trump’s personal interests in the bankruptcies of the casinos in 2004, 2009 and 2014.

Their relationship was cemented in 2005, friends said, when Mr. Trump traveled three hours in a snowstorm to pay a condolence call on Mr. Friedman after the death of his father, a prominent Long Island rabbi.

“He was very taken by Trump

spending almost all day just to pay the shiva,” said Yossi Kahana, one of the two friends who described the visit, using the Hebrew term for the week of mourning. “Barely any people came, and here is Trump, coming and sitting with him and talking about things that are important to both of them, their values, their fathers and their legacies.”

A person close to the Trump transition who spoke on the condition of anonymity said the ambassadorship had been negotiated directly between the two men over many months. Mr. Friedman, who donated a total of $50,000 to the Trump campaign and the Republican National Committee in 2016, according to federal election records, had been openly saying even before the election that the job - one of the most sensitive and high profile in the diplomatic corps would be his, according to friends.

Israel’s conservative settlement supporters and their American backers rejoiced at the selection, while believers in a Palestinian state and the American-brokered peace process were perplexed and close to despair. Mr. Friedman is a staunch opponent of basic tenets of Washington’s longstanding approach to much of the ambassadorial portfolio.

He refers to the West Bank by its biblical name, Judea and Samaria, something hard to imagine his prede-

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cessors doing publicly. Upon being nominated Thursday night, he said he looked forward to working “from the U.S. Embassy in Israel’s eternal capital, Jerusalem,” rather than Tel Aviv, where the American Embassy has been for decades, under the State Department’s insistence that the holy city’s status be determined as part of a broader deal between Israel and the Palestinians.

The State Department has not allowed its ambassadors to set foot in West Bank settlements. Tax forms list Mr. Friedman as president of the American Friends of Bet El Yeshiva, which has raised about $2 million a year in recent years. He is also described as president of Bet El Institutions, which supports, among other things, the news site for which Mr. Friedman wrote columns, IsraelNationalNews.com, known as Arutz 7.

Beit El, as the settlement is more usually spelled, was founded in 1977 and is now home to about 7,000 religious residents. It was a hotbed of controversy in 2012 when the Israeli authorities followed a court order to

evacuate 30 families from five buildings built illegally on private Palestinian land.

According to an investigation by The Seventh Eye, an Israeli magazine, the contested neighborhood was built by a company linked to the one registered in the Marshall Islands that controls Arutz 7.

Baruch Gordon, the director of development for Bet El Institutions, told Arutz 7 on Friday that it was “proud to be closely associated with Mr. Friedman,” calling him “a pioneer philanthropist and builder of Jewish institutions and housing projects in Judea and Samaria (a.k.a. the ‘West Bank’) and throughout the country.”

Mr. Friedman, whose middle name is Melech - Hebrew for king grew up in North Woodmere, N.Y., one of four children of Rabbi Morris S. Friedman, who held the pulpit at Temple Hillel there for 46 years. In October 1984, President Ronald Reagan visited the synagogue and went to the Friedman family home for lunch, perhaps an early political influence on the ambassador-designate.

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He graduated from New York University School of Law in 1981, and has worked since 1994 at Kasowitz, Benson, Torres & Friedman L.L.P., where he is a partner.

The firm represented Mr. Trump in his unsuccessful libel lawsuit against a former New York Times reporter, Timothy L. O’Brien, and its founding partner, Marc E. Kasowitz, twice this year threatened to sue The Times in relation to articles it was preparing regarding Mr. Trump’s treatment of women and income tax returns.

Mr. Friedman’s connections to Israel date back to his bar mitzvah at the Western Wall. Friends describe him as a strong Zionist who spends many Jewish holidays and most of his summers in his Jerusalem apartment. He and his wife are renowned for gathering people for dinners in their sukkah, a hut observant Jews build on their balconies during a fall harvest festival.

“His whole life, he’s been focused and extremely thoughtful about Israel and about the political situation there,” said Philip Rosen, whose friendship

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with Mr. Friedman began in law school.

Anon Geva, the founder of an Israeli winery in which Mr. Friedman’s son’s company invested, said Mr. Friedman had invited everyone connected with the winery - about 30 people - for dinner one year in the sukkah.

Mr. Geva recalled Mr. Friedman, saying that he decided to buy a home in Jerusalem on the day in 2002 that a Palestinian suicide bomber blew himself up at Café Moment, a popular bar in the city, killing 11 Israelis.

Mr. Kahana, who directs a task force on disabilities for the Jewish National Fund, said Mr. Friedman and some friends raised and donated several hundred thousand dollars to help build Aleh Negev, the village for disabled people, a joint project of the fund and the Israeli government.

“He visited, and I must say, he was very concerned that this village is not only for Jewish kids, that it is also for Bedouin kids,” Mr. Kahana said. He called Mr. Friedman “very generous, very caring for needy peo-

ple and especially people with disabilities.”

Mr. Rosen, who was co-chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign in 2012 and Senator Marco Rubio’s 2016 bid, said Mr. Friedman had developed a strong rapport with Mr. Trump that would allow him to be effective as his envoy. “They’ve worked together closely for a very long time, and he knows what Donald is thinking, and what Donald wants to accomplish,” Mr. Rosen said.

Many of Mr. Friedman’s views are far to the right of the stated positions of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who has endorsed the principle of a Palestinian state alongside Israel. Mr. Netanyahu did not respond to Mr. Friedman’s selection, nor did Israel’s Foreign Ministry.

But the deputy foreign minister, Tzipi Hotovely, who hails from the right flank of Mr. Netanyahu’s Likud Party, rushed to praise it, saying, “His positions reflect the desire to strengthen the standing of Israel’s capital Jerusalem at this time and to underscore that the settlements have never been the true problem in the area.”

A senior Palestinian cleric, Sheikh Ikrama Sabri, said during Friday Prayers that if Mr. Friedman managed to move the embassy to Jerusalem, “the U.S. is declaring a new war on the Palestinians and all Muslim Arabs.”

Saeb Erekat, the secretary general of the Palestine Liberation Organization, told reporters in the West Bank on Friday that Mr. Trump’s appointments were “his business,” but that it was “not up to Trump or anybody else” to take steps like moving the embassy to Jerusalem.

Daniel C. Kurtzer, who served President George W. Bush as ambassador to Israel from 2001 to 2005, was alarmed by the appointment.

“He has made clear that he will appeal to a small minority of Israeli and American - extremists, ignoring the majority of Israelis who continue to seek peace,” Mr. Kurtzer, now a professor at Princeton, said in an interview. “Friedman’s appointment as ambassador runs directly contrary to Mr. Trump’s professed desire to make the ‘ultimate deal’ between Israelis and Palestinians.”

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WHO IS DONALD TRUMP’S JEWISH SON-IN-LAW, JARED KUSHNER? The 35-year-old scion of a philanthropic family, a successful real estate executive, has become a key adviser to the Republican President-Elect – By Uriel Heilman ared Kushner has many claims to fame.

He’s married to Ivanka Trump, daughter of the Republican presidentelect. He’s the scion of a philanthropyminded Jewish family from New Jersey that is one of the biggest names in New York real estate. He’s the owner and publisher of a storied weekly, the New York Observer.

But Kushner’s celebrity may be taking a quantum leap now that he’s becoming more involved in his fatherin-law’s White House term.

Kushner, 35, was no mere footnote to the Donald Trump campaign.

He played a key role writing the proIsrael speech that Trump delivered last month to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee annual policy conference. Kushner helped plan a trip to Israel for Trump last December, which the candidate abruptly canceled after Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu slammed Trump’s proposal to block Muslims from immigrating to the United States.

“This was all your idea!” Trump reportedly scolded his son-in-law, according to a source quoted in a New York Magazine story that appeared Sunday. (The Trump campaign told JTA the story was false.) More often, Trump is pleased with Kushner. He often refers to his “fantastic” son-in-law when touting his pro-Israel bona fides.

“I am a great friend of Israel,” Trump said at a February town hall meeting in Las Vegas. “I was the grand marshal of the Israeli Day Parade. My son-in-law is Jewish, and he’s fantastic

- a very successful guy in the New York real estate.”

Kushner’s name may carry as much renown in Jewish circles as it does in the world of real estate, where he has helped grow his family’s extensive fortune. The family foundation named for his parents, the Seryl and Charles Kushner Family Foundation, gives away more than $2 million a year, and a significant chunk goes to Jewish causes. An Orthodox Jewish elementary school and high school in New Jersey carry the Kushner family name, the Joseph Kushner Hebrew Academy and the Rae Kushner Yeshiva High School, both in Livingston and named for Jared’s Holocaust survivor grandparents.

The family foundation distributed about $2.4 million in 2011, $3.9 million in 2012 and $2.4 million in 2013, the latest year for which data is publicly available. Kushner, who is involved in the foundation, also briefly served as a board member for the news organization JTA, now under the umbrella of 70 Faces Media, which is a not-for-profit.

Kushner himself attended high school at the Frisch School, a modern Orthodox yeshiva in Paramus, New Jersey. He later went to Harvard and earned his law degree at New York University.

One of four siblings, Kushner now lives in a stylish apartment on Manhattan’s Upper East Side, belongs to the Orthodox Kehilath Jeshurun synagogue and is Sabbath observant.

His wife underwent an Orthodox con-

version to Judaism before the couple wed in October 2009, studying Judaism with Rabbi Haskel Lookstein of Kehilath Jeshurun and the Ramaz School. Ivanka Trump told Vogue magazine last year that the family keeps kosher and Shabbat - “We’re pretty observant,” she said - and Kushner noted that his wife often whips up Shabbat dinner.

“She said, ‘If we’re going to do Shabbos, I’m going to cook.’ She never cooked before in her life and became a great cook,” Kushner told Vogue. “So for Friday, she’ll make dinner for just the two of us, and we turn our phones off for 25 hours.”

Ivanka Trump said of her conversion to Judaism, “It’s been such a great life decision for me. I am very modern, but I’m also a very traditional person, and I think that’s an interesting juxtaposition in how I was raised as well. I really find that with Judaism, it creates an amazing blueprint for family connectivity.”

The couple just had their third child, a boy, Theodore James Kushner, adding to a family that already included Arabella Rose, 4, and Joseph Frederick, 2. The bris was held on a Sunday, but grandpa Trump skipped the circumcision ceremony to campaign in Wisconsin, where he ultimately lost in Tuesday’s primary by 13 points to Ted Cruz.

Kushner ended up in some hot water the day after the bris when New York Magazine reported that Observer editor Ken Kurson read and provided input on Trump’s AIPAC speech. Although Kurson suggested his “input” amounted to reading a draft of the speech and discussing it with Kushner, the Observer’s senior political editor, Jillian Jorgensen, said that would not happen again. Jorgensen wrote that the paper was reviewing its policies on covering the Trump campaign and would begin to cover Trump as it did every other presidential candidate.

“Going forward, there will be no input whatsoever on the campaign from Mr. Kurson or anyone on the editorial side of the Observer,” Jorgensen said.

The flap is unlikely to faze Kushner, who has had to develop a thick skin over the years.

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His family weathered a public scandal in 2004 when Kushner’s father, Charles, was arrested on charges of tax evasion, illegal campaign donations and witness tampering. The setup, part of a long-running family feud, sent Charles Kushner to jail for 16 months.

Jared Kushner, who is said to be fiercely devoted to his father, did not shy away from the spotlight. A student at the time in NYU’s MBA-law program, Kushner accelerated his involvement in his father’s real estate empire, Kushner Companies.

In 2006, when he was just 25, Kushner bought the Observer for about $10 million. In 2007, the year after his father got out of prison, Kushner bought a 41-story office building on Fifth Avenue for $1.8 billion - the most expensive office building sale in U.S. history

up to that point. In 2008, Kushner became CEO of his father’s company.

By all accounts, Kushner is a savvy real estate man. In 2014, Kushner Companies completed more than $2 billion in transactions, including buying 2,000 multifamily apartments on the East Coast, according to Fortune magazine. In 2015, Kushner scored spot No. 25 on Fortune’s 40 under 40 list ranking the most influential young people in business.

“Real estate’s today where I spend most of my time, but I also am very active outside our real estate business in other holdings,” Kushner said in a Fortune video. “The most important thing is working with the right people, people who you trust, people who are talented.”

Now that Kushner’s father-in-law is president-elect as a Republican,

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Kushner has had to switch his political allegiances.

Until very recently, he mostly supported Democrats. Kushner’s Observer endorsed Barack Obama for president in 2008. He has made more than $100,000 in donations to Democratic committees and candidates, according to widely cited Federal Election Commission records, including a total of $6,000 in donations to Hillary Clinton in 2000 and 2003. Kushner sent $10,000 to the New Jersey Democratic State Committee and $10,000 to the New York State Democratic Committee in 2014, and $20,800 to Cory Booker’s 2013 U.S. Senate campaign in New Jersey. He also made contributions to two other Democratic senators, Charles Schumer of New York and Robert Menendez of New Jersey.

IVANKA TRUMP’S JEWISH FAITH: 11 THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT DONALD TRUMP’S DAUGHTER AND JUDAISM

BY CLARK MINDOCK 1: Her father is “glad” she converted. “I want to thank my Jewish daughter. I have a Jewish daughter,” Donald Trump said when accepting an award at a 2015 ‘Jewish 100’ Gala in New York. “This wasn’t in the plan but I’m very glad it happened.”

2: Israel’s supreme rabbinical court recently rejected a conversion performed by Rabbi Haskel Lookstein, the rabbi who oversaw Ivanka Trump’s conversion, but that decision does not affect her status as a Jew. 3: Donald Trump did not attend the bris of Ivanka’s son Theodore in April.

4: The mother of three says her religion plays an important role in family life. “We’re pretty observant, more than some, less than others. I just feel like it’s such an intimate thing for us,” Ivanka Trump told Vogue magazine in 2015. “It‘s been such a great life decision for me. I am very modern, but I’m also a very traditional person, and I think that’s an interesting juxtaposition in how I was raised as well. I really find that with Judaism, it creates an amazing blueprint for family connectivity.”

5: Ivanka and Jared Kushner reportedly keep kosher - that is, they follow the dietary restrictions in the Torah, eating no shellfish or pork and keeping milk products and meat products separate.

6: Like other Orthodox Jews, Ivanka and her family observe Shabbat (the Sabbath). Kushner said the couple turn off their phones for 25 hours. Ivanka explained the benefits of abstaining from work for the weekly holiday.

“From Friday to Saturday we don’t do anything but hang out with one another,” she told Vogue. “It’s an

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amazing thing when you’re so connected to really sign off. And for (daughter) Arabella to know that she has me, undivided, one day a week. We don’t do anything except play with each other, hang out with one another, go on walks together. Pure family.”

Some Orthodox women shave their heads upon marriage and wear wigs; others cover their hair with a scarf; and others, like Ivanka, do neither.

Unlike many Orthodox Jews, Jared Kushner does not keep his head covered with a hat or yarmulke (skullcap), and does not wear tzitzit (a ritual garment with knotted fringes that are visible below a shirt).

It’s perfectly legitimate for Jared and Ivanka to say, “We’re Modern Orthodox but we don’t do this. Nobody is perfect. Nobody is everything. Everybody is trying to do everything they can,” Rabbi Mark Wildes, the founder of the Manhattan Jewish Experience, told International Business Times.

Modern Orthodox Jews tend to adhere more closely than Conservative or Reform Jews to the commandments of Jewish law, said Rabbi Leora Kaye, the Director of Programming for the Union for Reform Judaism.

“In general the biggest difference between the denominations, I would say, is the way they understand the weight of what we call Jewish law.” Kaye noted that, for example, “it would be unlikely for a woman to be a rabbi in an Orthodox denomination.”

“Ivanka and her husband live in a world that is committed to the age-old practices of Judaism, but it doesn’t mean that those practices and observances prevent the person from being fully engaged,” said Rabbi Wildes.

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A New Light Will Shine on Zion

By Dov Shurin

Y

ou know, I was just thinking that Yosef HaTzadik was in jail for 13 years. 13 YEARS. Hey, to us it’s just a Posuk, it’s quick, depending on the Baal Koreh, who reads it in less than 13 seconds, but for Yosef it took 13 long years. Did you ever ask why? Our hero, Yosef, who passed a test with the wife of Potifar - a test which might be second only to the Akedah, when Avraham was ready to slaughter his son Yitzchok - and Yosef received a reward of 13 years in a dungeon!

Compare this to some of our daily news subjects, like that of Katzov, former president of Israel, finally released from prison after only 5 years, for clearly failing his test.

But our dear Yosef, who gained the title of ‘HaTzadik,’ the righteous, spent 13 long years in an Egyptian prison. Why? The answer just came to me: He paid a heavy price for telling his brothers his dream that 13 lights bowed down to him! The sun, the moon, and eleven stars. He needed to spend 13 years in a dark pit in order to fix, not the dream, but the mouth.

A Jew has to watch his mouth.

What comes out of it must represent ‘Hakol kol Yaakov,’ - sweet, loving and pacifying words and prayers. Yosef dreamed it, but he shouldn’t have told it!

I now giggle when I remember the dream I had on a recent Friday night: (Should I tell it?)

Donald Trump was sitting under a tree, on a mountain, addressing an audience of thousands. I walked over to him and asked if I could sit on his lap.

He answered, “Sure.”

And so I sat on his lap and quickly said to my son, Moish, “Here Moish, take my iPhone and snap a picture of this.”

I smiled, “Take another shot, quick.” He did.

Next thing I knew, I was off Trump’s lap and he was standing up. I figured I was too heavy.

I said to my son, “Let me see the picture, it’s valuable.”

I checked, but there was nothing there!

For days I wouldn’t forgive my boy!

“Nobody believes that I was on Trump’s lap in my dream, thanks to YOU, Moish! How did you miss snapping that picture in my dream?”

But I still remember feeling Trump’s strong, firm, determined and wealthy ‘Yadayim yeday Eisav,’ the hands of brother Eisav, hands that ‘Handle’ the materialistic world so masterfully.

All of the above is a preface to a study of where we now all find ourselves, as we get ready to light our humble, and awesomely holy, candles this Chanuka 5777.

Israel – both the nation and the land - are capsulized in the term: “The Voice is the Voice of Yaakov.”

And America, its people and its newly elected President are symbolized in the term: “The Hands are the Hands of Eisav.”

And the candles we shall kindle on Chanukah will reveal the Ohr Chadash, the long awaited, ‘new light that shall shine upon Zion,’ whose glow we shall finally merit to witness!

But the brightness of this new light will only be realized when we

succeed in fixing ourselves to the point where our hands are 100% the hands of Yaakov!

Our Rabbis, of blessed memory, had long ago formulated the exercise that should help us achieve this, and it is long overdue for us to become aware of it.

I was privileged to be at the Bar Mitzvah of Dov, the grandson of Reb Hershel (Tzvi) Frank, zt’l, owner of Quality Carpet, my sponsor on radio for the last 36 years.

As I was going to wash for bread, I was zocheh to realize why the blessing for washing our hands for eating bread and for prayer, and for all G-dly service, is “Al netilas yodayim.”

I mean, why aren’t we saying, “Al shtifas (rinsing),” or “Al richitzas yodayim,” meaning “You commanded us to wash our hands.” Why is the nusach “Al netilas yodayim?”

What is the meaning of “Netila?”

So I’ve been researching the meaning of ‘Netila’ for days, since that Bar Mitzvah, and found that the English word ‘Handle’ is from the same root as the Hebrew - Nun, Tes, Lamed, which is the root of ‘Netila.’ It would be realized even better in Yiddish: ‘Hentel,’ right? ‘Hentel’ in Yiddish is ‘handle’ in English, just as in someone saying, “My computer ‘handles’ my billing.” Meaning, ‘takes control of.’

Like the handle of a suitcase.

So Al netilas yodayim basically means ‘controlling the hands.’

We even see that many people, after the ritual washing of the hands, lift up their hands to their mouth. On the deepest level, this is our hope - that just as our mouth sends forth a voice which is the voice of Yaakov, so too Continued on Page 81

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CONTROVERSY

TODAY’S TOPIC: Is Dating Tznius?

Joseph We might never think about it, but really there are so many tznius pitfalls in dating. In the car alone. Walking at night alone with an unrelated girl. Talking alone, away from everyone, with an unrelated girl about sensitive and frivolous subjects.

Sure, we can justify all this as being for tachlis. And of course there are heteirim to be found. But really our zeidas or elter-zeidas or elter-elter-zeidas, for those of us lucky enough to have an all-frum yichus going all the way back to Avrohom Avinu, didn’t date. For thousands of years our zeidas’ fathers would work out a shidduch with the girl’s father and mazal tov! The boy and girl would briefly meet in a beshow type of meeting, and if there were no objections, agree to get married, v’zeh hu.

And we know that even today there are alternatives to the problems of dating.

Hundreds of thousands of Yidden around the world got married without dating.

They had a beshow, all in the tzniusdik confines of the parents’ home, and are married. The concept of frum Yidden dating isn’t much more than a hundred years old. And for most frum Yidden it started much more recently than even that.

Lightbrite Yes you’re right. Getting married via Craigslist ads (no photos allowed) would be way more tznius.

Lilmod ulelamaid In Eretz Yisroel, you don’t date by car, usually. You usually meet in a hotel lobby - a very public place. You usually don’t go for a walk on the first date, and if you do, it’s in a very public area.

And, uh, personally, I don’t talk about sensitive and frivolous topics on dates.

If you’re a tznius person and you go out with tznius people, there shouldn’t be any problems.

I do agree that it would be great to have parents who could arrange things for me, and the chassidish way of doing things is great - but, it can only work if you’re from that type of society. There is a reason why different societies (within the Orthodox world) have different ways of dating.

Sociology is a complicated thing. When things are done a certain way in one

society but not in another, it is usually because there are other things that are done in that society that make this thing possible in that society and not in others.

Someone from a Yeshivish society or a Modern Orthodox society can’t necessarily choose to do something the way it is done in Chassidish society and expect it to work.

Lightbrite I do hear your point; I just don’t think it’s practical or realistic. And, I haven’t noticed or heard of any problems coming up with dating (except for the fact that when you’re 18 or 19 and have never spoken to a boy before in your life, it’s really awkward and uncomfortable, but that just makes it less of an issue in terms of tznius).

Randomex This is why so many rabbonim and roshei yeshiva are urging their mispallelim/talmidim not to date and use an alternative path instead.

Lilmod ulelamaid lishmo’a Joseph, how did you meet your wife? I’m curious about the answer to this.

Joseph Like how Yitzchok met Rivka.

Lilmod ulelamaid Your father sent his servant to a well and she fed the donkeys water, and you didn’t even need to meet her, because you decided it was enough to know that she was a tzadeikis?

Wow, you’re a lucky guy!

Liacisrmma I heard in the name of R’ Yaakov Kaminetzky zt’l that the way shidduchim were done in Europe does not translate well to America, as most girls did not attend yeshiva in Europe but were taught directly by their mothers. In America they have yeshivos for girls and therefore the method of shidduchim had to change.

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Little Froggie How do spiritually inclined females even think of going out, dating, PLAYING GAMES?!? Shouldn’t they be on a higher dargah? Shouldn’t they suffice with a mere glance? After all, they’re the ones with the wisdom, insight, thoughtfulness, intuition. They know how to read people’s faces, expressions, foreheads and palms. Chachma, bina, daas and everything in between. Figure him out even before he attempts to speak. Why all the extra ‘fun’?! A spiritually filled female ought to exude rays of holiness!

I don’t get it. Am I missing something?

LuL You’d be surprised, there are lots of women who didn’t “go out” at all. And are happily married.

After parents or caregivers or shadchanim check it out, the parties involved meet at the prospective kallah’s house. It’s not for a game or frivolous chatting, it’s for serious stuff. They meet in a tzanua’dik setting. They get to see if they like each other enough to start a Yiddishe home together. If they find themselves compatible and willing, they go ahead and finalize. Three or four meetings, more or less, are the norm, believe it or not. And then, (as a SPIRITUAL INCLINED FEMALE should surely know), many circles do not communicate until after the chuppa. It does not bring out the best in either to mix, mingle with the other - they are NOT a couple yet. And if all works out (which would more likely happen if they use restraint at the beginning), they’ll have each other to talk to for many, many years!

Take a tip from Yitzchak Avinu (actually, that’s why the Torah chose to write it) “He brought her in to his mother’s tent (he found her compatible) he married her, and THEN grew to love her. That is the way for a Yiddishe marriage to succeed. You don’t have to love before marriage, and it won’t bring out any good.

But of course, any highly spiritual female knows that.

Lilmod ulelamaid I’ve always said that I’d be more than happy to do things the Chassidish way. If I knew someone who was capable of finding my zivug for me, I’d be happy not to have to date. But I don’t, so I have to.

But what you are describing sounds like a regular shidduch date to me. Except that it’s a sit-in instead of going to a hotel lobby. Otherwise, it’s the same thing.

Sometimes shidduch dates are sit-ins too, which would make it the same thing.

Regarding Yitzchak loving Rivka after marriage, I once heard a shiur about how

by Yaakov it says that he loved Rochel before he married her. This shows that everyone is different, and different people need to be at a different stage before marriage.

I very much believe that everyone is different and everyone needs to date differently. A person’s age, personality and personal experiences have a very big effect on what they need. I have known people who needed more time before they got engaged and people who needed less, and it had no connection to how frum or yeshivish or tznius they were.

I knew a couple who were extremely frum and tznius and took a while to get to a decision and people put pressure on them. Her parents were divorced and he had lost his father the year before. I really don’t think it was right for people to put pressure on them. Everyone needs a different amount of time and people shouldn’t put pressures on others. There are so many broken engagements and divorces, so it clearly is possible for people to decide too quickly.

Honestly, I have no clue how long I will take since I am not there yet, but it makes sense that at my age, when I’m mainly going out with divorced guys, dating is going to be very different than it is for sheltered 18-year-old girls who have parents who take care of everything for them.

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I’ve spoken to one of the Gedolei Hador about dating and the things he was saying about how shidduchim should be approached and what I should be doing were VERY different than what you are saying. Probably because I’m not 18, so it is different.

Joseph Lilmod, what LF described is quite different than shidduch dating. Dating might include going to restaurants, parks, bowling, sightseeing, lobbies, drives in car rides with only the unrelated boy and girl together with no one else, etc. What LF described includes none of that.

If the American yeshivish oilem changed their dating system to the way the Eretz Yisroel yeshivish oilem dates (as I understand it from lilmod’s description), a lot of the tznius problems inherent in the American system would be resolved.

Not to say that the Chasidish system wouldn’t be even better, from a tznius perspective. It would be.

Lilmod ulelamaid Shidduchim is a very sensitive matter, and it is very important that everyone feels that he can do things the way that is right for him and that he doesn’t feel judged or looked down on for it.

This goes both ways - I can’t stand it when people criticize others for only going out 4 times and I can’t stand it when people are criticized for needing to go out for 3 months. Everyone is different, and people shouldn’t be so judgmental.

WinnieThePooh One difference between EY and American dating system is the ease and safety of getting around. In EY, where the yeshivish bochurim do not have licenses or cars, the girl and boy both travel by bus to a designated hotel (unless they have a sit-in in some neutral home), meet in the lobby, sit for 2-3 hours over drinks, and then part and go home separately. The first date can lead to some awkward moments when they have to figure out who their date is among those waiting around. I can’t imagine a girl in NY traveling by herself by public transportation late at night from the Manhattan hotel to her home, or even earlier on, from her home to Manhattan.

The reason why dates include parks or museums or other places more entertaining than a hotel lobby, is because sometimes people need to be more relaxed to get to know each other.

By the way, in the real “olden days” the girls would dress up in white and go out and dance, and the boys would choose from among them - if we did that today, there would be plenty of complaints about how it lacks tznius.

Person1 There’s no disputing that dating in Eretz Yisroel is more conservative, but you should remember that the yeshivish oilem in EY rarely go to ice-skating or bowling at all, not only on dates. For many even restaurants are out of the question (depending on how yeshivish we’re talking about). Parks are a very common destination for a date in EY too.

If a guy can get a car it’s perfectly normal to drive the girl to/from the date, (and I’m not talking about “modern” guys) but it’s never a requirement like it is in America. In any case, the guy would order a cab for the girl and accompany her home.

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DEC./JAN. 2017

H LOVE EMUNAH WITHEVED RIGLER - ARTSCROLL SARA YO ILLER A PRESS R' AVIGDOR MAKOV Y. HAMBURGER - JUDAIC RABBI YA INCREDIBLE ACHMAN SELTZER - ARTSCROLL RABBI N 2 AZING STORY- ARTSCROLL M A N A E V A H I N SELTZER RABBI NACHMA THE MAGGID OLL F O S N IO T A R ILLUMIN KROHN - ARTSC RABBI PAYSACH MANDEL RABBI MANIS IMON FINKELMAN - ARTSCROLL RABBI SH LD OF CHELMHEIM R O W LY IL S E TH TEIN - FELD ZALMAN GOLDS Y Y WEDNESDAGUM PRESS R A IN D R O N A AN - TAR RUTHIE PEARLM ARKNESS AFTER THE D CHORR - ISRAEL BOOKSHOP RACHEL S CAUSE PRESS REBEL WITH A UDIT DJALILMAND - TARGUM SHIRA YEH

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1. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Shir 2 - Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz - Aderet 3. Bring the House Down - Avraham Fried - Aderet

1. A Yiddishe Mamme - Yosef Moshe Kahane - L'chaim 2. Ah Gitte Bracha - Yonasan Schwartz - Chazak 3. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet

1. Bring the House Down - Avraham Fried - Aderet 2. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet 3. Shir 2 - Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz - Aderet

DEC./JAN. 2017 1. Shmueli 2 - Shmueli Ungar - Nigun 2. Ah Gitte Bracha - Yonasan Schwartz - Chazak 3. A Yiddishe Mamme - Yosef Moshe Kahane - L'Chaim

IMPORTANT NOTE These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area.

The list does not reflect total sales of any CD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!).

The list is designed to be an indication of what’s currently popular in New York.

Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations.

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1. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Bring the House Down - Avraham Fried - Aderet 3. Shir 2 - Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz - Aderet

1. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Shir 2 - Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz - Aderet 3. Kol Haderech - Mordechai Shapiro - Aderet

1. Fill the World with Light - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Shir 2 - Shlomo Yehuda Rechnitz - Aderet 3. One Heart - Beri Weber - Nigun

1. Bullied - Aderet 2. Mendy Music: Kosher Fitness Workout - Aderet 3. A Matter of Chance - TECK Productions

1. Inter'n Rikken - Nigun 2. A Matter of Chance - TECK Productions 3. Bullied - Aderet

1. Shtetl - Rachel's Place - Aderet 2. Bella Bracha Goes to a Wedding - Torah Treasure 3. Mendy Music: Kosher Fitness Workout - Aderet

DEC./JAN. 2017 1. Inter'n Rikken - Nigun 2. Bullied - Aderet 3. A Matter of Chance - TECK Productions

IMPORTANT NOTE 1. Mendy Music: Kosher Fitness Workout - Aderet 2. Golem to the Rescue - Torah Luminations 3. The Rebbe's Niggunim - Torah Treasure

1. Bullied - Aderet 2. Inter'n Rikken - Nigun 3. A Matter of Chance - TECK Productions

1. Bullied - Aderet 2. A Matter of Chance - TECK Productions 3. Playing Your Part - Aderet

These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area.

The list does not reflect total sales of any DVD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!).

The list is designed to be an indication of what’s currently popular in New York.

Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations.

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H U M O R Only the Best

“Let me have it straight, Doc.” “The tests came back and it is bad. You have only one day to live.”

“One day! If that’s the bad news, what’s the worse news?”

“I tried calling to tell you this yesterday!”

B.A. Mentch Williamsburg

An old Jewish man goes to see one of New York’s top medical specialists.

“How much to I owe you, Doctor?”

“My fee is $5,000.” “$5,000?!” the man exclaims. “That’s impossible!”

“Fine. In your case,” the doctor Consequences replies, “I suppose I could make it $3,000.”

A woman was “$3,000!

That’s found guilty in traffic ridiculous. No way I can pay that.” court. When asked for her “Well, can you afford $1,000?” occupation, she said she was a “$1,000? Who has that kind of schoolteacher. The judge spoke money?” from the bench. “Madam, I Frustrated, the doctor says have waited years for a “Just give me $800 and we’ll be schoolteacher to appear done with it.” before this court.” He “I can give you $200,” the smiled with delight. “Now man says. “Take it or leave it.” sit down at the table and “I don’t understand you. write ‘I will not run a red THE POTATO GARDEN Why did you come to one of the light’ five hundred times.” most expensive doctors in New S.W. An old man lived alone. He wanted to York City if you didn’t have Monsey dig his potato garden, but it was very any money?” hard work and his only son, who would “Listen Doctor,” says the Follow the Signs have helped him, was in prison for bank patient. “When it comes to my robbery.

The old man wrote a letter to his health, nothing is too expenMoishe Shmeel was son and mentioned his predicament. sive.” discouraged when a new P.B. and Jay business much like his own Shortly, he received this reply: For Far Rockaway opened up next door and Heaven’s sake, Dad, don’t dig up the enerected a huge sign that tire garden, that’s where I buried the read ‘Best Deals.’ He was money!”

Fly on the Wall depressed when another At 4am the next morning, a dozen pocompetitor opened up on An elderly gentleman had licemen showed up and dug up the entire the block and announced serious hearing problems for a garden without finding any money. Conhis arrival with an even number of years. He went to the fused, the old man wrote another note to larger sign reading ‘Lowest doctor and was fitted for a set of his son telling him what happened and Prices.’ The shopkeeper hearing aids that allowed the was panicked until he got man to hear perfectly. The eldasking him what to do next. an idea. He put the biggest erly gentleman went back in a His son’s reply was: “Now plant your sign of all over his own month to the doctor, who said potatoes, Dad. That was the best I could shop. It read ‘Main En“Your hearing is perfect. Your do from here.” trance.’ family must be pleased that you Sara S. can hear again.” The gentleman Boro Park replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family Sorry I Missed Your Call Send your true anecdotes, embarrassing moments, bright sayyet. I just sit around and listen to their ings, real life experiences, or any interesting incident relating to conversations. I’ve changed my will Dr. Veitung called his close friend Jewish life in America to: COUNTRY YOSSI MAGAZINE, 1310 48th Street, Brooklyn, New York 11219. All printed submissions five times!”

Sam Machlavitz. “Sam, I’m afraid I will receive free tapes or another valuable prize. Winners should R.U. Abel have some bad news, and some even bring legal I.D. PRIZES WILL NOT BE MAILED Boro Park worse news.” e-mail: country@countryyossi.com

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DEC./JAN. 2017

H U M O R

ElEction UpsEt

I

t seems that almost anyone in the universe with a heartbeat is still buzzing about the completely shocking US presidential election. In a day and age when everything feels so formulaic and predictable, the biggest - and arguably the most important - election, has proven to have the most shocking and unpredicted outcome ever. Mainstream and social media have never had it so wrong before.

What started out as a sure celebration for the Democrats with a clear win for Hillary Clinton quickly turned around to sadness and defeat. Trump, on the other hand, was hit just as unexpectedly by the win. It was very clear that he had not expected this result even in his wildest dreams. The election results came so far from left field that even the Yankees’ Derek Jeter wouldn’t know how to make such a play.

The newspapers, polls and political sites were so off in their reporting that it seemed like they were reporting on their hopes and dreams instead of reality. While there is definitely room for some editorializing in the media, with this election there was a lot of editorializing and profoundly very little real reporting going on with most of the news outlets. Polls were manipulated and skewed worse than ever, supposed news articles were overflowing with biased opinions instead of fact, and social media was completely filled with venom and vitriol instead of open-minded debate and discussion.

Rather than admit their error - or

bias - all the news outlets quickly struggled to come up with some semilegitimate explanation for their complete and utter folly. One media outlet blamed the startling outcome on all the closet-rednecks who came out to vote for the first time in this election. Another media outlet blamed it on spitevoters who were completely motivated only by their hatred towards pollsters and their need to make them wrong.

Another outlet blamed it on the alignment of the stars and the unusual size of the supermoon. Yet another media outlet blamed the whole election outcome on the Jews. Why not? Jews are always an easy target.

In the Jewish community alone there was a strong divide over which candidate to support. While some areas were clear Clinton supporters, others were overwhelmingly siding with Trump. Both sides had very good reasons for supporting their respective candidates - mostly because that was what everyone else on the block was doing.

On the morning after the election there was tremendous shock felt throughout both campaigns. Nobody was prepared for the outcome. As much as Hillary couldn’t believe she had lost, Trump couldn’t believe he had won. He could not believe how little money it took his campaign to get so many millions of Americans to vote for him.

Trump was reportedly so shocked that he won the election that he immediately demanded a recount of the votes. This surprising win threw a

crimp in the plans of many of Trump’s people. It wasn’t easy for his speechwriters to have to make such an abrupt mental u-turn and have to so quickly write up an acceptance speech.

The same thing was with many of Trump’s other staffers. For instance, all of Mr. Trump’s domestic help now has to curtsy and address him as Mr. President Elect Donald Trump. It’s not as easy as it sounds.

Most difficult for Mr. Trump was that he had an amazing cruise to the State of Alaska scheduled for this January and he now had to go and cancel it so that he could attend his own presidential inauguration. Sadly, the tickets were non-refundable and he lost his entire deposit. If not for all the urging

by Trump’s chief of staff he would have backed out of the inauguration in order to make it to the cruise.

Trump was so shocked by his unexpected win that the morning after the election he was seen on his tablet googling “What does the president of the US do?” Even scarier than that was that the Secret Service caught Mr. Trump on numerous occasions walking around on Fifth Avenue and humming the song ‘If I were a rich man.’

However, the hardest thing of all for Donald Trump since he won the election was to learn how to correctly pronounce the words ‘President Elect.’

While Donald Trump is very excited that he won the presidential election and will now be our next president, there are some things about this win that he is not so thrilled about.

Firstly, Mr. Trump is extremely upset that he will have to downgrade his living accommodations and move into the cramped White House. Also, now Trump has to spend a ton of money to add the word ‘President’ before his name on every one of his buildings.

What a pain in the neck!

So, the lesson of this election is that while winning is great - be careful what you wish for!

Chaptzem is a heimishe blogger who authors the Chaptzem Blog, the most popular heimishe website. The Chaptzem Blog has been quoted many times in the mainstream media and is viewed by thousands daily. www.chaptzem.blogspot.com

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H U M O R

W

ell friends, it’s that time of year again, when we rack our brains trying to figure out what to buy our loved ones for Chanukah. You may ask, “Why do we give gifts?” I’ll tell you. I don’t know! But, it’s tradition.

What to buy the kids is ah halbe tzurah - they usually start telling you what they want for Chanukah right after you give them their birthday present in July. It usually costs a fortune and either doesn’t work at all when you open the box or it’s broken within the first half hour of use.

What to buy the men - also not too bad. They could always use another tie, sweater, shirt or wallet. But, when it comes to buying a woman a gift - don’t ask!

You see, there are four types of husbands in this world. There is one husband who buys lavish gifts for his wife. He has excellent taste and knows just what makes her happy, e.g. a mink coat, a diamond wedding band, vacation tickets, gifts that any woman would be happy to receive.

Unfortunately, such husbands don’t exist in my circles.

The second type of husband buys lavish gifts, but has horrible taste. With this type of husband, you run into two problems. Either you can tell him you hate it (wait! Let me rephrase that you like it but it’s not your taste) and exchange it for something that you love; or you can smile and lie that it’s just what you wanted and never wear it.

Now this presents you with a dilemma. If you exchange it - no problem - you get what you wanted. The only thing is, your husband may get a little ticked off and never buy you anything again - especially if this is the fourth time this has happened.

If you keep it and never wear it, then he starts shouting that you never wear anything he buys you. You shout back that by this time he should know what type of things you like, etc., etc.

The third type of husband tells

you he doesn’t believe in gift giving altogether. It’s a goyishe minhag and leave him alone! It’s funny though, that when you give him a gift, he forgets this minor detail.

The fourth type of husband is the practical husband. His gifts are items that no home should be without. For instance, take my husband... please.

Over the years I’ve gotten a little tin can with holes on top to shake out ANOTHER KAYL A CL ASSIC

K ay l a Kuchle f fe l GADGET MANIA

confectioners sugar, a shovel with a long handle so I don’t have to bend down after sweeping, a giant syringe to baste the meat and chicken, a hard egg slicer, a vacuum cleaner with an attachment to remove light bulbs, etc.

We’re talking here quality items. I think of him every time I use them (and mumble under my breath).

The last piece of jewelry I got from my husband was a digital watch that came free in the Honeycomb cereal box.

Lately, my husband’s gotten into the space saver appliance kick, and this has led to a new assortment of “practical” gifts. I have so many strange appliances (half of which I never use) hanging from under my cabinets, that between those and the ones sitting on top of my counter, I can open an electrical appliance store.

I have a Cappuccino maker, an espresso maker, a bread baker, waffle maker, corn shaker (removes corn kernels from cob), apple corer, seltzer maker, potato peeler, cordless mixer,

vegetable slicer and an assortment of radios. A clock radio, a clock radio cassette, a clock radio cassette telephone, a clock radio dual cassette telephone, a clock radio dual cassette telephone answering machine and a clock radio dual cassette telephone answering machine pasta maker.

This gadget mania doesn’t only apply to my kitchen. My bathroom is just as bad. I have a blow dryer to straighten my hair, a curling iron to curl my hair, a diffuser to frizz my hair, a waterpik to clean between my teeth, a U.V. light to show plaque on my teeth and an Interplac electric toothbrush to remove this plaque from my teeth. I have a facial sauna, a foot spa, shower massager, and a manicure and pedicure center. What more can women ask for - an electric Qtip?

As to what will I get people this year? I think I’ll buy a lot of good umbrellas. Lately, I’ve seen people using large beach umbrellas during a rain storm. You need two hands to carry it, but three, maybe four people can fit comfortably under it without getting wet. Now this is a worthwhile gift! But heaven forbid a strong wind should come. You’ll find that your umbrella can double as a hand glider!

I’m also looking into a “tilt-abed.” At six a.m., the bed tilts up, throwing your husband on the floor.

This guarantees that he gets to minyan on time.

Another good gift is a cedar hat box for shtreimels and spudiks and an American Express velcro tallis zekil so he won’t leave shul without it.

I also just heard that Scotch guard came out with a herring guard. You spray it on your suit or bekitsha before Shabbos and it guarantees to repel herring sauce!

In any event, good luck in your shopping! Have a wonderful Chanukah and remember, it’s not the gift but the thought that counts. And if you believe that, you’re crazier than I am!

Happy Chanukah

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Shurin… Continued From Page 68 shall our hands be THE HANDS OF YAAKOV. The Dubnah Maggid once said that there are Jews who, when they pray, they have a Yaakov voice. But unfortunately, when they go to work, their hands are the hands of Eisav!

And I must add that it’s clear that Yitzchok KNEW that Yaakov, not Eisav, was standing in front of him when he said, “Your hands are the hands of Eisav.” He was warning Yaakov that Jews would always have an “Eisav Hand” virus, that can chas v’sholom turn into an ‘Avenue of values’ epidemic!

So let us all take our HANDS into our HANDS; meaning, in Yiddish, let’s be strong and fix ourselves, so that our hands and our voices be 100% pure ‘Organic Yaakov.’ Let’s leave the hands of Eisav to President Trump and his world, so that we will merit the brightest new light radiating from our Chanukah candles, to light the way for Moshiach Tzidkenu B’Yamenu.

A Freilichen Chanukah to all! dovshurin@yahoo.com

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