CY Family Mag #201 by Country Yossi

MARCH 2016

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 11

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

Message From the Publisher Hi Everybody, The spectacular, moon-filled Purim issue you are now holding in your Shalach-Moonisdiker saturated hands is jam-packed with enough delicious literary goodies to satisfy the most demanding fine-shmeckers anywhere! But the most eagerly awaited feature of all is our annual exclusive cover story of the most anticipated happening of the year - the Big Chazaq Event IV! This year the exciting and inspiring evening will feature an unforgettable performance by the ubertalented Maccabeats, Avi Kilimnick and Hadran, wise words of inspiration by the incomparable Rabbi Dr. Abraham J. Twersky and a powerful message by the world famous motivational speaker Charlie Harary! Dedicated to building a stronger future, this year’s great event will take place on Sunday night, April 3rd, at 7:30pm in Queens College. Tickets are going fast so be sure to reserve your seats early! Once you’re done reading all that, we offer a smorgasbord of cerebral delights, including but not limited to Rabbino Pynchas Brener, chief Rabbi of Caracus, Venezuela, our closer-tohome Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss and Rabbi Don Eisenman’s Short Vort with a beautiful, nostalgic look at The Mick! After you’ve digested all that you can slowly savor a touching personal tribute to Harav Chaim Yisroel Belsky zt’l by Senator Simcha Felder.

Boruch Hamavdil Bain Kodesh L’chol! Now that you have absorbed some serious, intellectual stimulation we can intrepidly proceed with caution into the uncharted Purimdikeh segment of the magazine! Beckoning dangerously ahead lies the infamous National Yenta Purim Tragedy, I mean, Parody! Buckle your seatbelt before attempting to read! We have lost many readers over the years due to Hyper-Plotzing, a peculiar condition endemic to Country Yossi readers who fail to heed safety warnings! Never let it be said that we are oblivious to the roiling political scene taking place in America today. In our never-ending attempt to raise the vulgar level of current political discourse, our YWN Coffee Room excerpt asks the rather high-brow, sophisticated and refined question: “Is Donald Trump a Jerk?” The intellectual and genteel answers of the responding rabble will make you proud of your heritage! (huh?) Dov Shurin pushes the overseas envelope with another Shurinesque dvar Torah and our Special Report “U.S. Presidents and Israel” will enlighten and hopefully prepare you for what’s coming next. Wishing you all ah freilichen and safe Purim, Your friend,

Country Yossi

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 13

ISSUE 201

“New York’s Premier Jewish Magazine”

s"xc

“The world stands on three things - kesef, mumon and gelt!” – CY March 2016 /u"ga, ’c rst

Table of Contents

LET’S SHMOOZE ...................................................................................................................................................................................27 COVER STORY • The Big Chazaq Event IV, by Dina Aaron. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 SPOTLIGHT • Little One’s Serenity, Mother’s Best Remedy, by Chaya Sara Schlussel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 • Manhattan Beach Jewish Center to Reopen June 1st . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 TIMELINE ................................................................................................................................................................................................46 FELDER FOCUS • Harav Chaim Yisroel Belsky, zt’l . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47 OPINION • A Kotel Victory for the Non-Orthodox? Hardly, by Yitzchok Adlerstein . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 • Bernie’s Kibbutz and Mine, by Avi Shafran . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 SOUND OFF • Rebuttal to Pope Francis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 INSPIRATION.........................................................................................................................................................................................54 TORAH • The Short Vort: The “Mick,” by Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 • Two Minor Holidays, by Rabino Pynchas Brener . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 • The Joy of Adar, by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58 • Purim: The Joy of Life, by Rabbi Schaefer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 NATIONAL YENTA PURIM PARODY ............................................................................................................................................60 PEOPLE • Antonin Scalia: An Advocate for Religious Freedom, by Yaakov Ort and Menachem Posner . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70 REAL LIFE • I Keep Discovering . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74 SPECIAL REPORT • U.S. Presidents and Israel: Always Expect the Unexpected, by David Friedman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 ISRAEL • Syria and the Real Demographic Threat, by Caroline Glick . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 • From the Day of Birth We are Always in an ‘Ad D’Lo Yodah’ Situation, by Dov Shurin. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 HEALTH AND ADVICE • Dear Bubby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100 • Procrastination... Title to be Determined, by Sheri Toiv-Elklenberg, LMHC . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101 CONTROVERSY • YWN Coffee Room: Is Donald Trump a Jerk? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102 JEWISH BOOKS • Top 10 in Jewish Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105 JEWISH MUSIC • Top 3 in Jewish Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 • CY Songbook: I Didn’t Have the Time . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 HUMOR • The Price of Purim, by Chaptzem . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 • Can’t You Just Plotz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 • Doing Time at the Shaitel Macher, by Kayla Kuchleffel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 AROUND TOWN • Photography Workshops by Devorie Zutler . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Volume 28 Number 5

COUNTRY YOSSI FAMILY MAGAZINE • 1310 48th Street, Suite 308 • Brooklyn, New York 11219 Telephone: (718) 851-2010 • Email Address: country@countryyossi.com COPYRIGHT © 2016 - Country Yossi Family Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions. Unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope. We reserve the right to print all letters in part or in full unless specifically requested otherwise. No articles, photographs, artwork or other material in this magazine may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever, without prior written permission of the publisher. Country Yossi Family Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors or advertisers’ claims.

Cover Design: R.A. Stone

website: www.countryyossi.com Follow countryyossi on Twitter

Interior Layout: H. Walfish

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 24

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

THE SIGN Dear Country Yossi, “WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH 1000 HAMAS TERRORISTS THAN WITH ONE SINGLE ISRAELI.” This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Netanya. You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. One would think that anti-hate groups from all across the country would be marching on this business and that the National Guard might have to be called to keep the angry crowds back. But, perhaps in these stressful times one might be tempted to let the proprietors simply make their statement. We are a society which holds Freedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty. And after all, it is just a sign. You may ask what kind of business would dare post such a sign? Answer: The Chevra Kadisha! (Who said morticians had no sense of humor?) H.P. Williamsburg

CONTEMPLATING COFFEE Dear Country Yossi, A person wakes up in the morning and prepares his daily coffee. He puts in bitter coffee, sweet sugar; hot water and cold milk (not necessarily in that or-

der). It’s a cup full of contrasts. Then he says “Hashem, I don’t know how my day is going to be bitter, sweet, hot or cold. But one thing I know - Shehakol nihiye bidvaro - that everything happens by Your word.” L.T. Boro Park

for messages? What if we treated It like we couldn’t manage a day without It? What if we gave It to our children as a special gift? What if we always took It, and used It, when we traveled? What if we always thought to use It in case of an emergency? Oh, and one more thing… Unlike our cell phones, we don’t have to worry about Torah being disconnected, because Its “Carrier” never fails. Shulamit Solomon

MEMORY FULL

WHAT DO WE CHERISH? Dear Country Yossi, What if we treated the Torah the way we treat our cell phones? What if we carried It around in our purse or pocket every day? What if we looked through It many times each day? What if we turned back to go get It if we forgot It? What if we always checked It

Dear Country Yossi, Scientists believe that the brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age; it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so too do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full. Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more. Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. This is NOT a memory

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

problem, it is nature’s way of making older people do more exercise. SO THERE. Now when I reach for a word or a name, I won’t excuse myself by saying “I’m having a senior moment.” Now, I’ll say, “My disk is full!” G.N. Flatbush

LOOK-ALIKES Dear Country Yossi, A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named ‘Ahmal.’ The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him ‘Juan.’ Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, “They’re twins! If you’ve seen Juan, you’ve seen Ahmal!” P.Y. Flatbush

THE PERFECT GUY Dear Country Yossi, The lady hurried into the pharmacy, got the medicine, and hustled back to the car. Only then did she realize she’d locked her keys inside. “Oh no!” Not giving up, she looked around for a tool. “Aha!” She spotted a rusty coat hanger. She tried to open the door. Failed. “I don’t know how to do this. Hashem, please, please, please send help!” A moment later, a scraggly biker pulled up. “Lady, you need a hand?” “Yes! My daughter is sick. I have the medicine, but I locked my keys in the car. Can you open it with this hanger?” “Sure.” Nine seconds later, the car was open. “Thank You, Hashem, for sending such a nice man!” “Lady, I’m not a nice man. I got out of prison yesterday. I did three years for car theft.” She gave the man a big smile.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 28

MARCH 2016

“And thank You, Hashem, for sending a professional!” B.N. Boro Park

A LETTER OF FAITH Dear Country Yossi, I thought this correspondence was nice. Dear Avraham Fried, I grew up singing and listening to your music at our Shabbos table and at all of our happy occasions. And as a kid in Jerusalem, I also remember going to Gan Soccer with the family to one of your concerts. Today I am not religious. But to this day I listen and I am inspired by your powerful, spiritual, and soul touching music. I am so spiritually connected to your music that I am tempted to play it on Shabbos. I get disappointed that the only available music I have on Shabbos is the meaningless non-Jewish stuff. But I wanted to let you know that I have kept your request dear to me and I will not, even at gun point, play your music on Shabbos. Today, during my darkest and happiest moments, I will tune in to your music for inspiration and hope. Your music is a kindle to my long lost Jewish soul and it is keeping me alive, both physically and spiritually. My life would simply be meaningless without it. So before you go to bed at night or the next time you’re having a rough day, keep in mind that your music is quite literally touching my soul and giving me tremendous hope. From An Anonymous Jew

Shabbos and Yom Tov. Perhaps he saw you and the struggle you will have with Yiddishkeit and asked me to print those words so this can be your own unique way of remembering that it’s Shabbos by not playing my music. A Rebbe can see things way ahead of its time! For someone who calls himself not religious, your soul however seems to be on fire! You’re so in touch with your spirituality.

u"ga, ’c rst

How lucky I am that through my music I have a part in keeping that spark alive. Stay tuned as a new cd is coming soon IYH. I say to you, Chazak Chazak! Please keep in touch. Avraham

CAR KEYS Dear Country Yossi, The car keys weren’t in my pocket. Suddenly I realized I must have left

To An Anonymous Jew, Thank you for writing one of the most powerful letters that I have ever received in my 36 years of singing. If I would respond to all the details of the letter it would take a very long time. So I just want to say this: I would love to meet you one day and hear your story face to face. It was the Rebbe who told me 36 years ago when I was releasing the CD ‘No Jew Will Be Left Behind,’ to print the words: please do not play on

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 29

MARCH 2016

them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot. My husband has scolded me many times for leaving my keys in the car’s ignition. He’s afraid that the car could be stolen. As I looked around the parking lot, I realized he was right. The parking lot was empty. I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen. Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband: “I left my keys in the car and it’s been stolen.”

There was a moment of silence. I thought the call had been disconnected, but then I heard his voice. “Are you kidding me?” he barked. “I dropped you off!” Now it was my turn to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, “Well, come and get me.” He retorted, “I will, as soon as I convince this cop that I didn’t steal your car!” Welcome to the Golden Years. D.S. Boro Park

LEARNING TALMUD Dear Country Yossi, A young man knocks on the door of a great Talmudic scholar. “Rabbi, I wish to study Talmud.” “Do you know Aramaic?” “No.” “Hebrew?” “No.” “Have you ever studied Torah?” “No, Rabbi, but I graduated from Harvard summa cum laude in philosophy, and received a PhD from Yale. I’d like to round out my education with a bit of Talmud.” “I doubt that you are ready for Talmud. It is the broadest and deepest of books. If you wish, however, I will examine you in logic, and if you pass the test I will teach you Talmud.” “Good. I’m well versed in logic.” “First question. Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?” “The burglar with the dirty face.” “Wrong. The one with the clean face. Examine the logic. The burglar with a dirty face looks at the one with a clean face and thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face looks at the burglar with a dirty face and thinks his face is dirty. So the one with the clean face washes.” “Very clever. Another question please.” “Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?” “We established that. The burglar with the clean face washes.” “Wrong. Both wash. Examine the logic. The one with a dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with a clean face thinks his face is dirty. So the burglar with a clean face washes. When the one with a dirty face sees him washing, he realizes his face must be dirty too. Thus both wash.” “I didn’t think of that. Please ask me another.” “Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?” “Well, we know both wash.” “Wrong. Neither washes. Exam-

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 30

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

ine the logic. The one with the dirty face thinks his face is clean. The one with the clean face thinks his face is dirty. But when clean-face sees that dirty-face doesn’t bother to wash, he also doesn’t bother. So neither washes. As you can see, you are not ready for Talmud.” “Rabbi, please, give me one more test.” “Two burglars come down a chimney. One emerges with a clean face, the other with a dirty face. Which one washes his face?” “Neither!” “Wrong. And perhaps now you will see why Harvard and Yale cannot prepare you for Talmud. Tell me, how is it possible that two men come down the same chimney, and one emerges with a clean face, while the other has a dirty face?” “But you’ve just given me four contradictory answers to the same question! That’s impossible!” “No, my son, that’s Talmud.” Y.N. Flatbush

band raised his hand and asked if he might speak. The judge said “Yes, what do you have to add?” The husband said, “Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas.” N.W. Boro Park

JUST LISTEN Dear Country Yossi, Viktor Frankl, one of the great psychiatrists of the twentieth century, sur-

u"ga, ’c rst

vived the death camps of Nazi Germany. His little book, ‘Man’s Search for Meaning,’ is one of those life-changing books that everyone should read. Frankl once told the story of a woman who called him in the middle of the night to calmly inform him she was about to commit suicide. Frankl kept her on the phone and talked her through her depression, giving her reason after reason to carry on living. Finally she promised she would not take her life, and she kept her word. Continued on Page 38

THE SENTENCE Dear Country Yossi, A very cranky old woman was arrested for shoplifting at a grocery store. She gave everyone a hard time, from the store manager to the security guard, to the arresting officer who took her away, complaining and criticizing throughout the process. When she appeared before the judge, the judge asked what she had stolen from the store. The lady defiantly replied, “Just a stupid can of peaches.” The judge then asked why she had done it. She replied, “I was hungry and forgot to bring any cash to the store.” The judge asked how many peaches were in the can. She replied, “Nine, but what do you care about that?” The judge patiently said, “Well, ma’am, because I’m going to give you nine days in jail - one day for each peach.” As the judge was about to drop his gavel, the lady’s long suffering hus-

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 31

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 36

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

Shmooze… Continued from Page 31 When they later met, Frankl asked which reason had persuaded her to live. “None of them,” she told him. What then influenced her to go on living? He pressed. Her answer was simple. It was Frankl’s willingness to listen to her in the middle of the night. A world in which there was someone ready to listen to another’s pain seemed to her a world in which it was worthwhile to live. Often, it is not the brilliant argument that makes the difference. Sometimes the small act of listening is the greatest gift we can give. Received via email

THROUGH SECURITY Dear Country Yossi, Several years ago, the venerable Rabbi Leib Shteinman, the spiritual head of the Yeshiva world in Israel, made an important trip to the United States on behalf of the yeshivas in the Land of Israel. Already in his nineties, the trip was no simple undertaking. Rabbi Shteinman’s assistants did their utmost to assure his comfort, yet certain challenges along the way were unavoidable, one of which was security clearance at the airport. Before one of his domestic flights in the USA, Rabbi Shteinman encountered the TSA. Before the TSA eased screening regulations for elderly travelers over the age of 75 in 2012, Rabbi Shteinman was forced to endure the long line and the extended waiting period just like the young travelers. When he finally reached the conveyer belt that would pass his belongings through the x-ray machine, he was given several plastic trays and instructed to remove his shoes, hat, overcoat, belt and vest. One of his aides protested to the TSA officer in charge, saying, “Sir, this is one of Israel’s leading rabbis and spiritual guides! He is over the age of ninety as you see in his passport. Can’t you ease regulations for him? This is an affront to the dignity of such a holy man to undress in public. I assure you.” The TSA officer, a burly powerhouse who looked like a former line-

backer for the Green Bay Packers, politely but firmly said, “Sir, your assurances mean nothing here. With all due respect to your rabbi, I have my rules and regulations. Sorry, I can’t allow any easing of the rules.” Slowly and deliberately, Rabbi Shteinman removed his hat, coat, vest and shoes and placed them in two trays. He checked his pockets for coins and placed them on the tray too. He was instructed to walk through the body screening cubicle; as he did, the buzzer sounded and the red lights flashed. Apparently, the Rabbi had forgotten to remove his watch. He did so and was instructed to return and reenter the body-screening cubicle. He did. Once again, the buzzer sounded and the red lights flashed. Another officer came over and frisked the elderly rabbi from head to toe. This was more than one of his aides could tolerate. Protesting, he said to the officer, “Must you so violate the rabbi’s dignity? You’re treating him like a terrorist suspect!” The officer warned the aide in no uncertain terms, “Sir, any interference in our duties is a federal offense. One more word and we’ll have to detain you for questioning.” Rabbi Shteinman went through the body screener for a second and third time, yet the buzzer still sounded and the red lights flashed once more. One of the senior TSA officers came over to the rabbi’s lane to see what was going on, and the junior officers explained that the elderly rabbi is carrying some type of metal on his body that they haven’t identified. “Rabbi, did you ever undergo any operation for broken bones or bone replacement?” asked the senior officer. Rabbi Shteinman answered, “Yes, in fact I did. I have metal posts in my hip.” Finally, the Rabbi was allowed through security. His aides gathered his belongings and accompanied him to a nearby bench where he put on his shoes and his over-clothes. The rabbi had tears streaming down his wrinkled face. The young rabbis who accompanied Rabbi Shteinman were shocked. “Rebbi,” they said, trying to console him, “we are so sorry that you had to undergo such humiliation with no con-

sideration of who you are at all.” “That’s not why I’m crying,” Rabbi Shteinman said with a brush of the hand. It’s not the TSA who put me through this ordeal - it’s Hashem! Hashem is telling me a most important message. The day will come when I’ll leave the physical world and my soul will have to go through the spiritual screener before I’m allowed into the World to Come. Do you think it’s easy up there? Regardless of stature, age, etc. there’s no favoritism. The screener sees everything on one’s soul - every thought, utterance and deed from every moment of a person’s entire life. There too is no easement of regulations. They’ll also chastise me and say, “Aharon Yehuda Leib, you still have forbidden obstructions on your soul! You can’t enter here!” They too will send me back to go through the screening process once more. This is why I cry! Who knows how many times I’ll have to go back for rescreening? This security check on earth is Hashem’s loving way of telling me that I must wake up and do teshuva while I still can!” If the Gadol Hador fears the inevitable Day of Judgment, what can we say? We’d be advised to do teshuva now and live every day like it’s our last. Remember the story and, more importantly, the lesson with three letters TSA = Teshuva Saves Anguish. With teshuva, we’ll get through all the barriers, in this world and the Olam HaEmes! Received via email

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 38

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

S P O T L I G H T

EASY-FLOW: LITTLE ONE’S SERENITY, MOTHER’S BEST REMEDY BY CHAYA SARA SCHLUSSEL

t’s 2:20am. Two weeks ago at this time, I was pacing the floor of my living room, wearing my rug threadbare as I trudged back and forth with my eyes drooping in sleep-deprivation. In my arms was my chronically screaming infant daughter. I patted her, sang to her and begged her to calm down. She just continued howling. It was almost 4am by the time we both finally succumbed to an exhausted sleep. That was the routine I had been blindly following for more than two months, despairing of ever finding rest, and giving up on the hope of a happy, content baby. I lovingly nursed her, but it was a monumental sacrifice for me, rather than a relaxing exchange between mother and child. I was never sure if she had eaten enough, as she never seemed satisfied. Both my daughter and I were miserable - which is why I will be forever grateful to the friend who finally introduced me to an incredible product called Easy-Flow. I’m sure my story will sound familiar to many. After my first 2-week stint of insomnia, I seriously contemplated switching from nursing to formula. It just wasn’t working out, and I was ready to quit. But once I learned about the many benefits of mother’s milk, bottle feeding became a far less optimal option for me. Aside from the incomparable bonding experience it creates, breastfeeding stimulates the immune system, protecting against invasive diseases, viruses and cancers - even lowering the risk of Leukemia by 30%. Additionally, nursing has been scientifically proven as an IQ-booster, providing proper nourishment for the brain in its earliest stages. It prevents obesity and eating disorders later on in the baby’s life and significantly lowers baby’s risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). With all its natural benefits, nursing was inarguably the superior feeding alternative. So instead of jumping ship,

I set out to find a way, if at all possible, to continue nursing without the crankiness. I began asking people for advice and soon found that many women shared similar circumstances to mine. Some complained about colic and gassiness in their infants. Others sighed over nursing-induced irritation and soreness. Many were despairing of ever enjoying their “bonding experience.” And then finally, I met my friend Mimi at the park. I casually mentioned that my nursing was not all I had hoped it would be. She nodded knowingly, and then whipped a bottle of Easy-Flow out of her pocketbook. “Easy-Flow,” she confidently asserted, “will change your life. Trust me. Just try it.” I began taking Easy-Flow twice a day, and I’ve never looked back since. During my 2-month quest for answers, I learned many things about nursing that I’d previously been unaware of. I learned that some women have a low milk supply, which results in an unsatisfied, unhappy baby. Other women have plentiful milk, but still fail to satiate their baby’s hunger due to poor milk consistency, diluted quality, bitter taste or lack of nutrients. In some cases, mother’s milk cannot travel properly for lack of conduit fluency - and the frustrated baby cannot get enough. At times, superficial sores and skin conditions can cause severe discomfort to the mother both during and after nursing sessions. Amazingly, the one natural, centuriesold antidote for all of these complications is Easy-Flow. This prize product from Smiling Herbs both enhances and enriches mother’s milk to its greatest advantage. It’s a healthy supplement that provides instantaneous, positive results in many areas of difficulty. Easy-Flow aids smooth movement of the milk by ensuring consistency and conduit clearance. It eliminates irritation by targeting internal infection. It in-

creases baby’s appetite, making nursing sessions longer and more productive. Vital minerals and nutrients give both mother and baby a healthy boost, as mom’s immune system is strengthened and resistance to infection and disease is fortified. One mother confided that she only began using Easy-Flow after twelve months of nursing, when her milk supply gradually began to decrease. Easy-Flow reversed the decline. With absolutely no side effects, Easy-Flow does not cause any reactions, allergic or otherwise. And best of all, EasyFlow has a soothing effect on babies, targeting pressure points and eliminating headaches, upset stomachs, colic, gassiness, and other causes of stress or interference. It’s a favorite of mothers worldwide, who cannot help but rave about the incredible transformation that Easy-Flow has brought to their nursing sessions. Recently, this standard herbal supplement was redesigned to contain a high-potency extract that is easy to take, with revolutionary results. The Smiling Herbs Company saw the tremendous need for a product that would aid mothers significantly in their nursing. Using a precise processing system overseen by a highly trained staff of field experts with extensive knowledge of herbal history, Smiling Herbs reintroduced Easy-Flow to their exuberant customer base. The all-natural ingredients are hand-selected for their physical and chemical potential. Now small, easy-to-swallow capsules provide instant relief in manageable dosages. While every mother needs to regulate her own dosage, most people see a definite improvement with just two capsules a day. The feedback that Easy-Flow has received is overwhelmingly positive from their many satisfied clients. Now it’s 2:25am and the only reason I’m still up is that I had to finish writing this article, letting all the feeding-forlorn mothers out there know about this unparalleled product, so they too can upgrade their nursing from bleary-eyed to beautiful. Mommies, don’t quit. Take Easy-Flow and get to enjoy the beauty, bounty, and blessing of your baby. Thank you, Smiling Herbs, for the miracle of quiet and contentment that you’ve given me. Good night! Smiling Herbs 347-546-2792 smilingherbs@gmail.com

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 40

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

Miser: A person who lives poor to die rich! Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

T I M E L I N E

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by his bills!

RANDOM THOUGHTS

AN ECLECT IC COL LECTION OF NEWS ITEMS, FEATURES AND HUMOR WE JUST COULDN’T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE!

WONDERFULLY DESCRIBED DEFINITIONS

everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other! Marriage: It’s an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor’s degree and a woman gains her masters. Lecture: The art of transmitting information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students, without passing through the minds of either.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power! Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before. Classic: A book which people praise, but never read.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. Yawn: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouths. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes. Diplomat: A person who tells you to get lost in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. Optimist: A person who, while falling from the Eifel Tower, says midway “See, I am not injured yet!” Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence later.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 46

• I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faster now! • I don’t like making plans for the day because then the word “premeditated” gets thrown around in the courtroom. • I decided to change calling the bathroom the John and renamed it the Jim. I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning. • Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven’t met yet… • When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it just feels like a small vacation! • The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.” • If G-d wanted me to touch my toes, He would’ve put them on my knees. • I’m going to retire and live off of my savings. Not sure what I’ll do the second week. • Even duct tape can’t fix stupid - but it can muffle the sound! • I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.

HARAV CHAIM YISROEL BELSKY ZT”L BY NEW YORK STATE SENATOR SIMCHA FELDER

y father, HaRav Tzvi Mordechai Felder, zt”l, was a Rav for more than 60 years, and in that capacity he was called upon to officiate at numerous funerals. Over the years, our community said goodbye to many Jewish men and women who had been born in Europe, but when my father saw the passing of a frum and ehrliche Yid who had been raised in America, his praise was even more effusive. Why? We all know why. Spiritually speaking, the challenges here in the Land of the Free are very strong. If I may be so presumptuous, I dare say that my father would have seen the American roots of HaGaon HaRav Chaim Yisroel Belsky, zt”l, as particularly noteworthy. That a man who was born and raised here in America could have reached the heights usually associated only with previous generations who learned in Europe - educating and influencing so many - is, on its own, singularly praiseworthy. I had the honor and privilege of being one of HaRav Belsky’s many talmidim in Yeshiva and Mesivta Torah Vodaath for many years and I was delighted to take advantage of my proximity to the Rosh Yeshiva to ask him sheilos. On one occasion, I began speaking and the Rav immediately said, “Don’t talk! You have Laryngitis!” I smiled but continued. Rav Belsky stopped me again. “I’m serious,” he said. “Don’t talk or even whisper. Sleep near a hot water humidifier for a few days and you’ll feel better IY”H!” I made an appointment with the well-known ENT specialist Dr. Allen Goldstein, zt”l,

who diagnosed my condition exactly the same way and advised me to do precisely the same thing that Rav Belsky recommended. Of course, HaRav Belsky was well known and respected not only for his b’kius in all four Chelkei Shulchan

Aruch, Halachah and Hashkafah, but also for his vast knowledge of science. At his frequent “Ask the Rav” sessions, listeners were amazed at his wide-ranging and in-depth knowledge of many intricate and arcane subjects. Consequently, after being elected to serve on the NYC Council, Rav Belsky was frequently who I turned to when complicated communal sheilos arose.

Not only was the Rosh Yeshiva able to understand the issues’ complex technicalities and discern the impact on the Klal, but also he would authoritatively give a very clear and definitive psak. When Water Copepods became an issue, New York City’s Environmental Protection Agency experts spent many hours going over every minute detail with HaRav Belsky, and he in turn explained what he had learned to other poskim. Some ultimately had a different psak but HaRav Belsky was relied upon for his universally acknowledged expertise. The mayor’s issue with Metzitzah B’peh was another great challenge to our community. I was determined to do everything in my power to prevent the City from interfering with our religious observance. Once again, our community had a great champion in HaRav Belsky, who had extended, arduous discussions with NYC Health Department officials. I recall my pride in witnessing such a public Kiddush Hashem, listening to HaRav Belsky’s learned, insightful and unhesitating back-and-forth with New York’s health experts on abstruse medical issues. The New York City officials may have disagreed on how to proceed, but never once did they question the Rav’s grasp of the issues involved. Like those European giants who he learned from, HaRav Belsky was truly a wise, caring, dedicated soul whose tireless efforts on behalf of Klal Yisroel were voluminous. We have lost a great luminary, and I have lost a trusted, valued friend and Rebbi. May his memory be a blessing.

MARCH 2016

O P I N I O N

A KOTEL VICTORY FOR THE NON-ORTHODOX…? HARDLY BY YITZCHOK ADLERSTEIN

sked for a statement about the Kotel compromise by the Los Angeles Jewish Journal, I complied. The Journal is hardly the reading experience of choice in the Orthodox community; my response was necessarily restrained. What I wrote was true, but I did not write everything that could have been said. What follows is what I didn’t say. It does not mitigate the tragedy

of the balkanization of the one place on earth that had served as a symbol of a united Jewish identification with the past and aspiration for the future. It does, however, offer an alternative to seeing the compromise as the beginning of an Israeli embrace of the heterodox movements. Two realities shape Israeli government policy towards American nonOrthodox denominations: they are important at the moment; they will become increasingly less so in the future.

Bibi and others understand that - unlike in the State of Israel - American non-Orthodox repopulate at well below the replacement rate. And the children they do have marry out at the rate of 71%. There is no question that they are the majority today, and their contributions, politically and otherwise, are invaluable to the interests of the State. But they are an asset of diminishing value because they are shrinking. When they get seriously exercised, as they were by the street theater of Women of the Wall, they cannot be ignored. Attempting to placate them drains the government of time and energy it should be committing to the various existential crises that never go away in the Jewish State. The government begged Natan Sharansky to broker a compromise a few years ago not to provide balance, justice, and a belated national recognition of the spiritual treasures of non-Orthodoxy. It did so to quiet a nuisance, so that it could get back to more important issues. It was, if anything, a do-over of David Ben-Gurion’s thinking about the Orthodox in the early years of the State. Throw them a few scraps now, because they won’t be around much longer. In the meantime, it is unwise to incite them. Today’s government is doing the same with the non-Orthodox. The difference, of course, is that BenGurion had nothing but ideology to predict the future demise of Orthodoxy, while demography has it that nothing but an unpredictable miracle (which can happen!) can reverse the decline and fall of American heterodoxy. We, of course, should redouble our prayers for that miracle. As much as we reject their ideology, we mourn the disappearance of millions of Jews that this decline represents. The Kotel compromise may be a defeat for us hashkafically, but it is no victory for the non-Orthodox. When a harried parent successfully offers a misbehaving child a bribe to do what the child should be doing as a matter of course, there are no grounds for celebration. But it does keep the peace, and allows the parent the calm he/she needs to move on to other concerns.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 48

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

O P I N I O N

BERNIE’S KIBBUTZ AND MINE BY AVI SHAFRAN

he disclosure of which kibbutz Senator Bernie Sanders spent time at in 1963 was red meat for the voracious purveyors of what, regrettably, passes for political commentary these days. Mr. Sanders - now the first Jew to win a U.S. presidential primary - lived for several months in Sha’ar Ha’amakim, near Haifa, a kibbutz affiliated with Hashomer Hatzair, the secular, Zionist-socialist movement. (It was quite an active one during part of last century; this one, not so much.) Right-wing media seized on the socialist element, with the American Thinker featuring an op-ed with the headline, “Bernie Sanders Spent Months at Marxist-Stalinist Kibbutz.” On the other side of the partisan divide, various blogs attacked Mr. Sanders for having been part of a kibbutz that was founded, in the words of radical leftie Philip Weiss, on “ethnic cleansing.” Intelligent discourse proceeds apace. For my part, the disclosure of Sanders’ sanctuary evoked memories of my own time on a Hashomer Hatzair kibbutz - beautiful Ein Hashofet, a mere ten miles from where Bernie bedded down less than ten years before I arrived in the area. I spent only two days at Ein Hashofet, having traveled there before the start of Elul zman in Yeshivas Kol Torah to visit one of the kibbutz’s founders, my uncle Nachman. Back in pre-war Poland, when my father, shlit”a, was a little boy, two of his older brothers became involved in a

Zionist youth enterprise and surreptitiously made their way to Eretz Yisrael. My father was determined to study Torah and, after he became bar mitzvah, just as the war broke out, he left his parents and other siblings to learn in a Novardok Yeshivah that had been relocated to Vilna. Eventually, the Soviets sent him and his chaverim, along with their Rosh Yeshivah, Rav

Yehudah Leib Nekritz, zt”l, to Siberia. Eventually, my father emigrated to America; of his large family, only he and his two brothers in Palestine survived the war. The kibbutzniks were very welcoming of the young yeshivah bochur who had come from America (no, he told them all, he didn’t know their cousins there) to study in Yerushalayim. I must have seemed, and definitely felt, out of place there. But I was “Nachman’s nephew,” so I got the royal treatment. During my stay at the kibbutz, I lived on Tnuva products and some packaged foods I had brought with me. When it was time to leave, some of the kibbutzniks gave me small gifts - a He-

brew booklet about Van Gogh, a plastic Egged tik, some doodads - that (despite the place’s strict socialist ethos) they possessed. I was very touched, and remember the residents’ kind sentiments fondly to this day. My greatest takeaway, though, was from my uncle, in the words he spoke a year later, when he visited me in Bayit Vegan as I prepared to return to the U.S. Tears welling in his eyes, he wished me well and said, wistfully, that he wondered if, had he retained his Jewish observance, his children might have remained in Eretz HaKodesh. Most of them, despite their father’s dedication to the Land, had left Eretz Yisrael to find their fortunes in other places. I didn’t know what to say, and just hugged him goodbye. Fast-forward fifteen years. My Israeli uncle and aunt, visiting the U.S., were driven by my father, shlita, from Baltimore all the way to Providence, Rhode Island, where I and my family were living at the time. It was wonderful to see them again, and at some point, my uncle mentioned - and there was pride in his voice - that the kibbutz had recently put mezuzos on its doors. I noticed, too, that he had brought with him a pair of tefillin. My uncle is now long gone from this world, but I’m reminded of the Gemara about a man who betroths a woman on the condition that he is a righteous person (Kiddushin 49b). Even if the man was not known to be righteous, the Gemara says, if the woman accepts his kiddushin, they are married. Because “perhaps he mused about repentance in his heart.” A hirhur teshuvah - a “mere musing of repentance” - can change a person. And what matters more than where we are is the direction in which we are headed. I don’t know if Bernie Sanders’ few months on a kibbutz had any impact on him. But, as I recall my uncle’s words about his children, and those tefillin, it seems to me that his more than half-century on his kibbutz, ironically, may have yielded him a keener perspective.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 50

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

SOUND OFF

REBUTTAL TO POPE FRANCIS

heula Canarutto Nemni is an educator and novelist living in Milan, Italy. Her most recent book is (Non) si puo avere tutto You Can[‘t] Have it All, Mondadorid 2015. Dear Pope Francis, In the impassioned plea for social justice you made in an address to Kenyan lawmakers in Nairobi last week, you asserted that “violence, conflict and terrorism are fueled by fear and desperation… born of poverty and frustration.” Yet nothing, not even desperation, can justify terrorism. The roots of terrorism lie only in hatred-based education. We Jews have a lot of experience with desperation. But our history shows other, more constructive ways out of it. Desperation has never been a justification for Jews to commit violent acts in the name of our religion. We have been paraded through the streets of Rome in chains while our Sanctuary in Jerusalem was in flames. We have been thrown into amphitheaters where hungry lions and spectators waited for our blood. We have been burnt in autos-da-fé , we have been called Marranos, our candle lighting and prayers in our ancestral tongue have been banned. We have been expelled from Spain. We have wandered through many countries looking for a new home. We have been massacred in pogroms, our synagogues sacked, our children enlisted in armies from which they never came back. We have been deprived of our right to work, to own, to vote, to speak. We have been robbed of that dignity which every human being should enjoy by right when he is born.

Our gold teeth were torn from our mouths and our arms branded as if we were animals for the slaughterhouse. We have been told for centuries ‘go back to your homeland’ and now that we are home they tell us ‘get out of there.’ We Jews are an indissoluble part of the historical fabric of our world. The Jewish presence is the common thread in most of the countries on the globe. In every place where we arrived on this earth, we produced poets, mathematicians, physicists, writers, politicians, scientists, doctors, inventors. Even when we were closed in ghettos we have never stopped writing, thinking, discussing and producing good. We have never put our lives on standby, not even for a little while. Despite all this, we have not been covering our heads with ashes for thousands of years. We loaded our destiny onto our shoulders and bound our ancestors’ heritage to our hearts and we went searching for a new place where we could breathe again. If you have been taught that every instant on this earth is the biggest richness you own, and that life is the most precious gift you received when you were born, there is neither the time nor the will to wallow in self-pity. And there is no room for resentment. We returned, without our parents, our brothers, our children, our husbands and wives, to Germany, Italy and France. We stood beneath the windows of our homes looking in at strangers now living in places that belonged to us before the war. We rolled up our sleeves, revealing numbers stamped with fire on our arms, and we started everything again from scratch. Countries interested in migration waves should study Jewish history and our integration model. In every new

place we arrived, we had our golden rule: Never slip on your tears. We have not waited around for compassion from the countries that opened their borders for us. We tried from the very start to integrate ourselves in the social fabric of the place that was hosting us. And while thanking them, we contributed our talents to development and progress, ours and theirs. There are those who use desperation as a justification for murdering innocents. And there are those who put aside desperation, locking it in the memory drawer, and try to climb back to the top, focusing on new opportunities. Dear Pope Francis, Secretary John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and hundreds of world influencers who are looking for a reason, for a motive, behind the transformation of individuals into lethal splinters. Even if you delved into the personal, tragic lives of these killers (though in most cases they live at exactly the same standard as those in the society around them), even if it was really like this, nothing, NOTHING, can justify an act of blind violence against another human being. Nothing, nothing, can give the right to one individual to deprive another of his tomorrow. Looking for justifications means only one thing: preparing the soil for the next brutal act, G-d forbid. History has never mistreated a nation more than it has mistreated the Jewish people. But everywhere that the wind of hate has transported us, we integrated, we learned the local language, reciting by heart Whitman, Eliot and Dickinson. We invented the pareve cheesecake. Integration is something you have to want and work at every single day. We have never asked the place that hosted us to adapt itself to our rules. “Dina demalchuta dina” - the law of the land must become your law too - says the Talmud. Real integration, even for the most desperate people, can be realized. But it depends, first and foremost, on values transmitted by the religion, families and teachers of those who have just arrived. And it depends on the will to become part of society in a constructive and positive way.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 52

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

Inspiration Why Didn’t You Ask Me First?

everal years ago, I was flying to Argentina to speak. The flight was terrible. I had to fly from Minnesota to New York to Miami to Buenos Aires. When I finally arrived in Argentina, I was exhausted. I was miserable. The one thing I was looking forward to was being picked up and taken to my hotel room where I could finally sleep off my journey and awaken refreshed the next day, ready to work. But this was not to be. When the local Chabad rabbi picked me up from the airport, I was told that we would be making a pitstop on the way to the hotel. “A woman in the community,” explained the rabbi, “recently lost her son and she’s been too depressed to speak to anyone or leave her home for months. When we told her you were coming, she agreed to speak with you. We are going to stop by her house on the way to the hotel so you can talk to her.” I was not very happy about this, to say the least. Not only was the assignment daunting – What do you say to someone who is so depressed? – I was quite perturbed that no one had asked me first. “Why didn’t anyone ask me?” But what could I do? She was already expecting us so I had no choice. When I met the woman at her home, she looked as if she had died. There was no light in her eyes. No life in her voice. No color in her face. Her 19-year-old son had died in a car accident while he was trying to get home in time for selichos (the penitential prayers leading up to Rosh Hashana). The three other boys in the car survived, but he did not. She told me about how special her son was. He was respectful, courteous and kind. He was considerate, wise, caring and mature beyond his years. “That was an amazing boy you had,” I said when she was finished. “And to think, you had him for 19 years.” She was not at all impressed with my response. “I understand,” I assured her. “The shock of losing your son so suddenly is horrible. But imagine for a moment that G-d had come to you in advance and told you the following: ‘I’m looking for someone to be the

mother of a really special kid for 19 years. Will you agree to be his mother?’ What would you say?” I thought for sure she would say yes, but to my surprise she replied defiantly: “Absolutely not!” Now I was completely at a loss of what to say, so without thinking I retorted: “Well then it’s a good thing He didn’t ask you.” Suddenly a floodgate of tears opened and she began to sob uncontrollably. This woman finally allowed herself to have a good cry for the first time since her son’s death. And she cried out her grief. After about twenty minutes, she looked alive for the first time since the tragedy. She was a new person. I felt as if I had literally witnessed a woman go from beyond the grave to among the living, right before my eyes. This was probably the most meaningful, emotional and powerful experience I have ever had in my 50 years of counseling people. In the car, on the way to the hotel, I reflected. When they first told me to meet with this woman I was angry. I was upset. “Why didn’t you ask me?” And if they had asked me beforehand whether or not I would meet with her immediately after my flight, what would my answer have been? I would have said: “Absolutely not!” And that would have been the wrong answer! I wouldn’t have been able to help her and I would have missed out on something incredible. Most of the great things we do in life are not done in response to situations we have willingly chosen. We don’t ask for challenges. If someone asked you if you would like some difficulties or some tests in your life, you would say: No thanks. If G-d asked us in advance each time He wanted to send us a challenging situation, we would always say no. And then, we wouldn’t do anything noteworthy in our lives. We’d amount to nothing. So, we have to thank G-d at every moment – or at least every morning when we wake up – for not asking our permission. We all endure our share of pain in this world. It’s all part of G-d’s plan. It is our struggles that help us to grow and become better people.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 54

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

T O R A H

THE SHORT VORT

THE “MICK” BY RABBI RON YITZCHOK EISENMAN

remember the day well; what Jewish kid in New York does not remember it? It was March 2nd, 1969, the day before Ta’anis Esther. It was a Sunday and The Daily News always changed its masthead on Sunday to “The Sunday News.” The larger than life headlines screamed: “Yep, Mick Quits!” Nobody had to tell you who “The Mick” was; it was like asking any kid in New York if the IRT number 4 train stops at the “The Stadium?” Who could even ask such a question? Joe Trimble - the sports writer for the News wrote in that day’s paper: “A Golden Era ended today, one which had lasted almost half a century. The Yankees’ last great player, Mickey Mantle, hung up his spokes with a dramatic but hardly unexpected announcement this afternoon.” (The announcement by Mantle was made on Shabbos March 1st; however, the paper reported on the event the next day on March 2nd as The Daily News was a morning paper and “The Mick” made the announcement on Shabbos afternoon.) Mickey Mantle… Which boy did not fantasize about being “The Mick?” He was everyone’s hero and the “All American Idol.” That was back in 1969; however, as the years went on and I became older and perhaps a little wiser (just a little) I stared to learn that “The Mick” was not indeed the role model we all thought he was. “The Mick” was an alcoholic; indeed, so were his wife and three of his four sons.

“The Mick” would bury his son Billy in 1994, who at the age of 36 died from substance abuse. “The Mick” drank so much that in 1995 he needed a liver transplant. “The Mick” would be dead at the age of 63 from liver cancer caused by his excessive drinking. Nevertheless, “The Mick” was special. “The Mick” was now special in my eyes not so much for being a super baseball player, which he was. “The Mick” was special because he attempt-

ed - at the end of his life - to warn others about the hazards of drinking and to publicly express remorse about the life he lived. Mantle spoke with great remorse of his drinking in a 1994 Sports Illustrated cover story. He said that he was telling the same old stories, and realizing how many of them involved himself and others being drunk - including at least one drunk-driving accident - he decided they were not funny anymore. He admitted he had often been cruel and hurtful to family, friends and fans because of his alcoholism, and sought to make amends.

Mantle received a liver transplant on June 8, 1995. His liver was severely damaged by alcohol-induced cirrhosis, as well as hepatitis C. In July, he had recovered enough to deliver a press conference, and noted that many fans had looked to him as a role model. “This is a role model: Don’t be like me,” a frail Mantle said. He also established the Mickey Mantle Foundation to raise awareness for organ donations. (Wikipedia) It’s been many years since that March day in 1969 when I - along with many other kids - were saddened to learn that “The Mick” had really called it quits. Since then I have learned that “The Mick” was far from perfect and certainly not a role model for young people at the time when so many kids idolized him. Yet, I also have newfound respect for him; a respect which I believe is genuine and real and not based on some media generated frenzy. Nowadays I respect “The Mick” for having the courage to admit publicly that he made serious and harmful mistakes in his life and he hoped that others could learn from his remorse and not emulate his destructive behaviors. In a time when it seems that no one is able to take responsibility and stand up and say, “I messed up and messed up badly. I hurt others and therefore please don’t learn from me in this regard;” The Mick was able to take responsibility. And for that, “The Mick” is special. Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 55

MARCH 2016

T O R A H

TWO MINOR HOLIDAYS BY RABINO PYNCHAS BRENER Pynchas Brener is the Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of Caracas, Venezuela, since 1967. He received his Bachelor of Arts and Rabbinic Ordination from Yeshiva University and his Master’s degree from Columbia University, and is a PhD honoris causa of Bar Ilan University. He has an internet project and a website: www.pynchasbrener.com.

here are two minor holidays that exhibit similarities. They commemorate events that have a happy ending and impose basically no restrictions as far as work goes. Their celebrations are joyful and so is their symbolism. I make reference to Chanukah and Purim, and we are about to celebrate the latter. We are taught usually that the themes of Chanukah and Purim are assimilation and genuine old anti-Semitism, respectively. The events of Chanukah recorded in the books of Macabbees report that the authorities of that time prohibited the observance of prominent mitzvos such as Shabbos, Bris Milah, the Study of Torah. On the other hand, the events of Purim are the result of an edict whose implementation was fixed by some kind of lottery, and its purpose was the elimination of the Jewish population of the 127 provinces of the Kingdom of Achashverosh. Why? Because they were something else, they did not live by the edicts of the King. They were different. It would seem that tradition favors Purim, even though the events of Chanukah took place in the land of Israel. There is tractate in the Talmud by the name of Megillah and a book in the Bible by the name of Esther. There are no such counterparts for Chanukah. Some argue that the story of the events of Chanukah record that the Hashmonaim, who were Kohanim, also assumed Malchut, Kingship of the Jewish people, and from the time of Moshe and Aharon there is a preference for the separation of these two powers, a very important principle in democracy as well.

A methodical reading of the Megillah shows that the story is not limited to anti-Semitism. Let us see. What were the Jews doing at the party of Achashverosh that was long-lasting? Did they eat kosher only? And why did this king party so much? It is likely that he was a usurper to the crown and married Vashti, the widow of the previous king, in order to legitimize his accession to the throne. And, therefore, his insistence that she make a personal appearance before the numerous guests at the festivities. Her refusal and subsequent downfall had to do with her unwillingness to provide authenticity to the new king. Mordechai, who was an apparent court activist, may have lost out to his rival Haman who was named the king’s vizier, and was later the object of Haman’s ire because he refused to bow before him. According to the text of the Megillah, when Haman found out that Mordechai was Jewish, he decided to take revenge upon the entire Jewish nation. In a sense, Mordechai’s attitude provoked a possible pogrom. Nevertheless, it could be argued that Mordechai acted valiantly by refusing to bow, even though he bore personal resentment for having lost the position to Haman. Our sages say that Haman had the image of an idol on his chest, and by bowing to Haman, Mordechai would simultaneously be bowing to the effigy. Therefore, his refusal to bow. Question: How come Haman did not know beforehand that Mordechai was Jewish? Did he not recognize his origin by Mordechai’s outward appearance? One is reminded of the saying of our sages that the Jewish people were saved from enslavement in Egypt

because they did not alter their names, dress or language. Did Mordechai speak Hebrew while Haman spoke Farsi? Is Mordechai a Jewish name? What is its meaning? The Talmud says “Mordechai min haTorah minayin?” Namely, where is there a hint of Mordechai and his actions in the Torah? They reply by pointing to “mor deror,” ingredients of the incense used together with the korbanot. And according to Rabbi Soloveitchik z’l, that pasuk was probably chosen to emphasize the future participation of Mordechai in the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash. Yet it is clear, no one is named Mordechai in Tanach, aside from our Purim hero. How come Haman did not recognize the Jewishness of Mordechai by way of his clothing? Apparently, there was nothing Jewish about his manner of dress either. Basically, Mordechai did not live by “lo shinu et leshonam, shemam, malbusham.” Was Mordechai in the process of assimilation? After the downfall of Vashti, a beauty contest was ordained in order to choose a new queen. Aware of the beauty of Esther, his wife according to the Talmud, and who was also his cousin, Mordechai introduced her name among the contestants. Esther was proclaimed the winner and Mordechai instructed her not to reveal her Jewishness. Why not? Did he feel that Jews were not considered authentically Persian? Apparently there was no advantage in being Jewish. The figure of Joseph comes to mind because he attained a very high position in Pharaoh’s court. Yet he was never really integrated into Egyptian society. He was an ivri, the other, not one of ours. Once Haman obtained the consent of Achashverosh for his evil decree to destroy the Jews, Mordechai turned to Esther, who at first refused, but eventually agreed to seek out the King even though she had not been invited for an audience with the monarch. Apparently, her status of queen did not give her absolute power. She needed the King’s permission to approach him. We are again reminded of Joseph, who had to ask for Pharaoh’s permission to bury his father in Canaan. In the eyes of the

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 56

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

other members of the court he was an outsider. They would not eat bread at the same table with him. These events must have prompted Mordechai and Esther to begin to question the value of assimilation into Persian society, because it had not prevented Haman’s evil decree. In spite of all their efforts to integrate into the fabric of Persian culture and politics, they were vulnerable. Even though G-d’s name does not appear in the Megillah, a point that was raised when its incorporation into the Bible was questioned, Esther asks her people to pray for the success of her mission before the King. She cries out “Lech kenos et hayehudim” - go and gather the Jews, because in moments of danger we must be united. While assimilation causes dispersion, danger brings about unity. Our Rabbis felt that G-d’s Providence was guarding and guiding events, a fact that is hinted in Esther’s name. The Talmud also questions, “Esther min haTorah minayin?” Where do you find a hint of Esther in the Torah? And they answer “Veanochi aster astir et panai,” G-d sometimes hides and one does not perceive his direct intervention in events. Yet all the happenings in the story of Purim bear the seal of G-d’s participation. So our sages thought. After recounting other pertinent incidents to the story, the Megillah relates that the Jews obtained the right to defend themselves, because an edict that had been signed by the king could not be rescinded. A point to consider, G-d’s help accompanies our ancestors only after they arm and physically defend themselves. In Lima, Peru, where I grew up, there was an oft quoted Spanish saying: “ayó date y el cielo te ayudar” - help yourself and heaven will help you. The Jews were victorious. Mordechai was a great Jewish and Persian activist. He was the principal mover of events that resulted in saving the Jews from destruction. Yet not everyone agreed with him. Toward the end of the Megillah we read that Mordechai was “ratsui lerov echav.” Most of his brethren liked him, but not all of them. Some may not have approved of his participation in Persian politics, because of the dangers that

may ensue when one is too close to the seat of power. Is the story of Purim the only example of persecution? Surely not. As the author of the Hagaddah affirms: “Bechol dor vador omdim aleinu lechaloteinu,” in every generation there arise those who wish to destroy us. Why are the events of Purim included in the Bible? There were other similar events in our lachrymose history, as Salo Baron observed. Mah nishtanah? Why is Purim different? Because after the dust settled: “kiyemu vekiblu” they reaffirmed Maamad Har Sinai, they reasserted their commitment to Torah. It was like a second Kabbalat haTorah, because experience had taught them that their strength was nurtured through union, togetherness, and we already pointed out that assimilation disperses, dilutes the Jewish people. Their strength was nurtured by living according to the tenets of the Torah and not by following foreign norms. Jewish participation at the King’s festivities, their adoption of Persian names (the Megillah mentions that Es-

u"ga, ’c rst

ther’s name was really Hadassah), their intent to become integrated into Persian society through dress and language did not prevent the promulgation of an evil edict that sought their extermination. They may have tried to assimilate into Persian society, but in the eyes of the Persians they were still different. They were not Persians, they were the other. Like in the case of Joseph, the cupbearer mentioned that while in jail a “naar ivri,” a young man of the “others,” not an Egyptian, had interpreted correctly his dream. And herein lies the greatness of Mordechai and Esther. They had already experienced a degree of assimilation and realized that it was not the answer for Jewish survival. Unity and Torah are the true deterrents against enemies and insure a future for the Jewish people. The Jews of Persia reenacted Kabalat HaTorah, as a demonstration of their proven conclusion that assimilation is not an answer. To the contrary, it leads to identity suicide. Only a Torahtrue life insures G-d’s help and serves as the cement that coalesces Jews into a people with a common destiny.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 57

MARCH 2016

T O R A H

The Joy of Adar by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss

“

e ’s h e n i c h n a s Adar marbim b’simcha - with the start of the month of Adar, we add to our happiness.” That means that this year we have a double dose of happiness, since there’s a Jewish leap year which contains two Adars. It is interesting that when the scholars discuss how to increase one’s joy, they offer ideas such as learning Torah, for there is no joy like the learning of Torah. Others suggest drinking a little wine, since wine gladdens the hearts of men. When reflecting on this question, I had a sudden thought. Perhaps the sages are recommending that with the onset of Adar we should make an increased effort at making other people happy. After all, this is the season for mishloach manos and matonos l’evyonim, sending presents to our friends and giving gifts to the poor. It is the time that Mordechai and Esther strove to reunite the Jewish people in brotherly love. Thus, we can suggest that Adar is the time to research ways to bring your spouse more happiness. At the very beginning of this pursuit is finding some available time to spend with your mate. I know many couples that are so weary from the

grind of commuting to work, making a livelihood, chauffeuring the children, doing homework, paying bills, running errands, cleaning, cooking, doing the laundry, and attending all kinds of simchos, that all they have left is physical and mental collapse. Adar is a good time for a reality check. Am I living up to the commitment I made under the Chupa, to ensure my life-mate’s happiness? Find the time during these two Adars to ask your spouse for a report card on your relationship. It will be a

u"ga, ’c rst

springboard to discuss how you can improve on making each other happier. Then there are the children. The old adage; the best present you can give to your children is more of your presence, is an extremely vital concept. So too is the famous acronym that the word family stands for father and mother I love you. How much do we invest in our children’s happiness? Do we spend time on the foods that they like, trips that they look forward to, clothes and shoes that they hope for, vacations that they dream about, or shidduchim that they worry about? Are we there for them? Then there are our parents. For grownups, it’s especially easy to forget our responsibilities, since they aren’t in front of us. The Gemara tells us, “Milsa d’lo ramya alei d’inshei lav adateithat which is not in front of us is easy to forget.” But the fifth commandment demands from us to be forever vigilant in increasing our parents’ joy. Sharing our accomplishments with them and taking the time to visit and to call or even to email and to text is a sure way to increase the happiness of those who are responsible for our very existence. Last but not least, we shouldn’t forget the Rambam’s advice. There is no greater joy than gladdening the heart of the widow and the orphan, the poor and the convert, making time for the lonely, cheering up the elderly, the ill and the forlorn. These are sure ways to make our two Adars truly meaningful. May it be the will of Hashem that we merit to make many people happy. And in that zechus, may we be blessed with long life, good health, and all kinds of happiness. Sheldon Zeitlin takes dictation and edits Rabbi Weiss’ articles.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 59

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 66

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 68

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

P E O P L E

Antonin ScAliA RemembeRed AS An AdvocAte foR ReligiouS fReedom by yAAkov oRt And

menAchem PoSneR

.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who passed away on Feb. 13 at the age of 79, is being remembered as a champion of freedom of religious expression with a deep appreciation for Jewish law, who was a thoughtful and enthusiastic participant in legal symposia on Jewish and American jurisprudence during his tenure on the court. “When there was no Jewish justice on the Supreme Court, I considered myself the Jewish justice,” Scalia once told legal scholar and attorney Nathan Lewin. Lewin, a friend and classmate of Scalia’s at Harvard Law School, had argued a number of cases before the Supreme Court, including County of Allegheny v. ACLU in 1989, when Scalia was part of the majority in a landmark ruling that a menorah erected by Chabad-Lubavitch emissaries could stand on public property. Lewin said that after Scalia’s appointment by President Ronald Reagan in 1986, he saw himself as “the guardian of the Jewish heritage within the Supreme Court” since no Jewish

justice sat on the court between the resignation of Justice Abe Fortas in 1969 and the 1993 appointment of Ruth Bader Ginsburg by President Bill Clinton. Although diametrically opposed on most legal issues, Ginsburg recalled that she and Scalia remained “best friends” during more than 20 years of working together. Scalia’s interest in Jewish law was longstanding. Lewin said Scalia believed that much of Lewin’s legal acumen was rooted in a lifelong study of the Talmud. He also pointed out that “the justice’s admiration for Jews and Jewish learning explains the frequent references in his opinions to the Talmud and other Jewish sources, and the significant number of Orthodox Jewish law clerks he hired.” “I recall a 2009 decision (Caperton v. A.T. Massey Coal Co., 556 U.S. 868, 901),” continued Lewin, noting that Scalia occasionally cited the Talmud in his opinions, “where Justice Scalia concluded a dissent by quoting the English translation of ‘hafoch ba ve-hafoch ba, ki kulo ba’-’Turn it over, and turn it over, for everything is in it’ (Avot 5:24).”

In his first public participation in a formal symposium on Jewish and constitutional law, Scalia was a panelist and keynote speaker in 1995 at the National Conference on Jewish and Contemporary Law in Los Angeles, attended by some 500 judges, attorneys, law professors and rabbis. Also on the panel and also delivering a keynote address was Rabbi Adin Even-Israel (Steinsaltz) of Jerusalem. Both scholars spoke of the contrasts between the two legal traditions. Earlier in the day, Even-Israel (Steinsaltz) and Scalia led a closed seminar for judges on “The Art of Judging.” In later years, Even-Israel (Steinsaltz) and Scalia would participate in a number of joint symposia on Jewish and civil law, including a 2014 dialogue at the Museum of Jewish Heritage in New York.

THE UNIQUE DYNAMICS OF JEWISH LAW As part of the 1995 symposium, Scalia began the main session with a story of the Baal Shem Tov, the founder of the Chassidic movement,

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 70

MARCH 2016

recalled event organizer Rabbi Dovid Eliezrie, director of the North County Chabad Center in Southern California. “He arrived with a profound sense of inquiry and came to understand the unique dynamics of Jewish law. It was rooted in his deep sense of intellectual curiosity,” said Eliezrie. Rabbi Nachman Levine, an academic and educator who attended the symposium, recalled that true to his reputation, Scalia was “very funny” and made it a point to speak in a booming baritone so that everyone could hear him during Shabbat, when no microphones were used by Jewish participants. Levine recalled that since Scalia’s approach to constitutional law was rooted in understanding and not tampering with the original intent of its founders, a fair amount of discussion centered around the Oven of Akhnai. In this Talmudic lesson, the sages determined that even though miracles and heavenly voices supported the opinion of one rabbi, the final law followed the rule of the majority of sages. “He was very clearly familiar with the story and how this Jewish legal principle of majority rule among expert judges - and not even Divine signs - serves as the foundation for Jewish jurisprudence,” said Levine. “I asked one of the judges at the Shabbat table how many jurors would need to vote guilty for O.J. Simpson, who was then on trial for murder, to be convicted,” recalled Levine. “The Jewish judge said it would need to be unanimous. I said that in Jewish law, if the verdict was unanimous, then the plaintiff would walk.” The judge called out, “Nino! (Justice Scalia’s nickname) You hear that? In Jewish law, if the jury is unanimous, he walks!” “Scalia slapped the table so hard that the gefilte fish flew and said, “I like that! Let me think it through… of course: It’s a Jewish court. If everyone agrees, something is wrong!” Scalia then asked if the Jewish judges could “see each other’s cards.” “What if one person saw that everyone voted guilty, and he holds that the accused is innocent? Maybe he should vote guilty to get the guy acquitted?” mused Scalia. “He was so quick!” said Levine.

ON PRIVATE AND PUBLIC RIGHTS In 2002, Scalia spoke at the National Institute of Jewish Law’s inaugural event at the Supreme Court in Washington, D.C. Rabbi Nosson Gurary, director of the Chabad House of Buffalo, N.Y., who then was a professor at the University of Buffalo Law School, recalled at the time speaking to Scalia about the importance of American jurists’ studying other systems, especial-

u"ga, ’c rst

ly one as richly developed as Jewish law. “Knowledge of another legal system helped him to understand (the U.S. legal) system better,” said Gurary. In 2009, Scalia participated in a daylong conference of the Institute of American and Talmudic Law, held at Chabad Lubavitch of Midtown Manhattan and chaired by Lewin and the dean of the institute, Rabbi Shlomo Yaffe. In a session on “The Right to Privacy and Individual Liberties From Ancient Times to the Cyberspace

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 71

MARCH 2016

Age,” Scalia argued that while there is not necessarily a constitutionally guaranteed right to privacy that protects every detail of a person’s life from being published on the Internet or elsewhere, that freedom should be used responsibly. “The American right to privacy is a complex and obscure right that the judiciary should tread lightly when analyzing,” Scalia suggested. The justice system, he declared, is meant only to define the rights specifically declared in the Constitution and, if need be, to

decide whether the legislature overreached in its interpretation of America’s foundational document of governance. “The vast majority of one’s rights are not constitutional,” Scalia asserted. “Most of them can be taken away.” Rabbi Yaffe recalled that “Justice Scalia’s intelligence, decency, passion for truth and respect of our Constitution are legendary. Many disagreed with his positions on a broad range of issues, but none doubted his sincerity.”

“Every human society must create a just and equitable legal system - governed not by the personal caprices of the powerful or the mood of the mob, but by the rule of law,” concluded Yaffe. “Justice Scalia devoted his life to this endeavor.”

THE FLEXIBILITY OF HIS MIND Scalia, who was married for 56 years and the father of nine children, was remembered by Lewin and EvenIsrael (Steinsaltz) as a warm and engaging individual. “He and his wife were guests in our sukkah,” recalls Lewin, “and he was kind enough to meet with lawschool classes I brought to Washington to hear Supreme Court arguments. “Zealously liberal students who claimed not to be able to tolerate Scalia’s judicial philosophy melted into personal fans after they met and spoke with the human being,” recalled Lewin. “Rather than meeting the cantankerous grouch they were expecting, they saw and heard from a funny, modest, gregarious and intellectually honest judge.” Lewin said Scalia would readily accept recommendations to address Orthodox Jewish gatherings, such as colloquia run by Chabad; sessions and dinners with Agudath Israel of America; and a mass meeting at Yeshiva University, where he and Lewin discussed current issues of constitutional law and public policy. Each event, said Lewin, was “thunderously successful.” Even-Israel (Steinsaltz) recalled that “in our conversations, I understood something about his brilliance and his efforts to get to a permanent understanding of law. His stance on the Constitution seemed to do with the personality, with his belief in constant and permanent standards, and also with the flexibility of his mind.” “In his death, America has lost one of its most prominent figures,” the rabbi concluded. “He was very straightforward and very courageous, pleasant, without losing his core. With all the brilliance of his mind, he was, in truth, a believing person and a good man.”

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 72

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 73

MARCH 2016

R E A L

L I F E

I KEEP DISCOVERING

olocaust stories of which I was blissfully unaware keep surfacing. This one from Greece is inspirational. It was told in Australia at the NSW Zakynthian

Association dinner. Zakynthos is a tiny speck of an island among the 1400 Greek islands and for five centuries had been the home of a tiny Jewish community numbering only 275 who were mainly

artisans, tradesmen and glaziers and were seamlessly integrated with the local community. In October 1943, German forces arrived on the island with orders to round up the Jews and deport them to Auschwitz. Anyone helping Jews to hide or escape would be shot. The commander of the German garrison, Paul Berenz, summoned the mayor Loukas Karrer and Bishop Chrysostomos Demetriou and instructed them to help with the roundup. Mayor Karrer instead warned all the Jews and all 275 were spirited away and hidden in Christian homes dotted over the island in various villages. When no Jews were to be found, Berenz again summoned the mayor and bishop and stated that unless a list of all Jews’ whereabouts and professions was handed to him by the following day, Karrer would pay with his life. The next day, Karrer and the bishop met with German officer Alfred Lit and handed him two sheets of paper. One was a letter from the bishop stating that the Jews of Zakynthos were under his protection and would NOT be handed over. The other was headed - List of Jews - but it only contained two names. Mayor Karrer and Bishop Chrysostomos. Perplexed, the German commander sent the letters to the German High Command in Berlin requesting instructions. Amazingly, the order was revoked and the Germans left the island. Not one of the 275 Jews perished. In 1948 the members of the island’s Jewish community donated a stained glass window to the church of Saint Dionysios. In 1953 an earthquake rocked the island and the first ship to arrive with aid, food and medical supplies was from Israel. Both Mayor Karrer and Bishop Chrysostomos are honored in Israel’s Holocaust Museum among the “Righteous among the Nations.” The Sydney dinner was held by Australian descendants of the people of Zakynthos and hosted by Association president Jim Gouskos and his wife Denise.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 74

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 75

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 76

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

T O R A H

PURIM:

THE JOY

LIFE

BY RABBI SCHAEFER “The Jews had light and gladness, and joy and honor.” - Esther 8:16 “Rav Yehudah said: Light refers to Torah, gladness refers to holiday, joy refers to circumcision, and honor refers to tefillin.” - Megillah 16b

n the eighth year of Achashverosh’s rule, on the thirteenth of Adar, every Jewish man, woman and child was to be slaughtered. Young or old, wealthy or poor, they were counted as one, and on that fateful day, the Jewish people would cease to be. According to the ways of the world and according to the natural course of events, that is what should have happened. But it didn’t. In the greatest reversal of fortune, the tables were turned and the Jews were saved. In a heartbeat, they went from death to life, from despondency to hope, from being sheep led to the slaughter to having Mordechai HaTzaddik paraded through the streets of Shushan. The people had lived through an astonishing miracle, and they experienced great joy. “And the Jews of Shushan were jubilant and celebrated.” Yet, when the Gemara describes their elation, it seems to leave out the issue of life and death. Where the Megillah says, “The Jews had light and gladness, and joy and honor,” Chazal interpret it to mean, “The Jews had Torah, yom tov, milah and tefillin,” as if to say that the reason the Jews were

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 78

MARCH 2016

celebrating was because they again had the opportunity to do these mitzvos. The issue of their being granted their lives doesn’t seem to weigh into the equation. It seems that the Gemara is saying that their entire celebration and their source of joy was that they were now once again able to perform these mitzvos. This is very difficult to understand. Granted, these might be additional reasons to celebrate, but isn’t life a much greater reason? They were going to die, and Hashem saved them. Isn’t that the greatest cause for celebration and giving thanks to Hashem? (Rashi makes this question even more difficult by adding his comment that Haman decreed against all of these mitzvos. But this is not true. Haman’s decree wasn’t against the keeping of religion at all. It was quite simply death to the Jews. There was no mention of mitzvos whatsoever. What does Rashi mean that Haman decreed against these mitzvos?) To understand this, let’s fast forward to a modern day rags to riches story.

away, he was a million dollars richer. Or if he went for a dip in the pool, by the time he had dried his hair, he was seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars wealthier. If he took a nice Shabbos nap, by the time he woke up, another three million dollars were in his coffers. Extremely wealthy people describe getting rich as exhilarating - almost intoxicating. “It is one of the most pleasurable experiences on the planet.” It seems that having wealth is nowhere near as much fun as acquir-

u"ga, ’c rst

ing it. And here this man was gaining wealth at a dizzying pace. It is difficult to imagine the sense of excitement he must have felt. Wow! Life is awesome. More and more! This is indescribably great!

THE ANSWER This seems to be the answer to the Gemara. When the Jews of Shushan were saved, they saw Hashem taking care of them, orchestrating events, running the world. They saw behind the

RAGS TO RICHES Born in 1934, Sheldon Adelson was the son of Ukrainian immigrants. His father drove a taxi, and his mother ran a knitting shop. He grew up in one of the poorest sections of Boston. But even as a young boy, he showed great ambition, first selling newspapers on the street corner, and then running his first business at the age of twelve. He went on to build over fifty businesses, eventually owning the Venetian Sands Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas. He became a very wealthy man. A funny thing, however, happened to Sheldon Adelson in 2003 when he took the Sands Corporation public. The stock skyrocketed, and his assets went from 1.4 billion dollars to 20 billion dollars in a year and a half. Forbes Magazine estimates that during this time, his wealth increased at a rate of one million dollars per hour. A million dollars an hour is a tidy sum of money. To illustrate what that means, imagine that during this time, he sat down to a nice leisurely lunch. When he got up and walked

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 79

MARCH 2016

veil of physicality and recognized their Creator. But more than just seeing Hashem, this experience changed their understanding of life. Someone who has had a near death experience is a changed man. His interests change. His value system changes. The pursuits that once gripped him lose their hold. Because he tasted death, he looks at life differently. And he questions. Why is life so precious? What is the tragedy of death? We all die anyway. Sooner. Later. What difference does it make?

And the real answer is - no difference. Generations come; generations go. They seem so important at the time, and then they pass as if they never were, like dust in the wind. And really nothing matters - until you understand the purpose of life. Once you understand that Hashem created us to grow, that Hashem put us in this world to shape ourselves into what we will be for eternity, then you understand the value of life. Life is valuable because it is time - time to grow, time to accomplish, time given as the chance to ac-

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

quire your World to Come. Once you understand that, you understand life, and then you understand the tragedy of death. Death is dreadful because it robs a person of that chance to grow. Rav Matisyahu Salomon, shlita, the Lakewood mashgiach, explained that this is what Rashi is telling us. When the Jews of Shushan celebrated, it was because they had reached a different understanding of life. A moment earlier, death was upon them. Yet, suddenly, inexplicably, it all turned around. As a result, they were a changed people. They no longer valued the things they once did; they viewed life from a dramatically different vantage point. And because it was so sudden and the change so complete, it catapulted them to a level of understanding that was unprecedented. It was all clear. And, they felt tremendous joy - but joy for a reason, happiness for a cause. They understood the reason that Hashem put them on this planet. They recognized the extraordinary wealth they could acquire with one mitzvah. And this is what brought them happiness. This concept should be very relevant to us, as we, too, should be happy beyond description. Every moment of life is an opportunity to acquire wealth of unimaginable proportions - far more than a million dollars an hour. One word of Torah learning is a jewel that will last forever. Putting on tefillin once is an eternal treasure far more valuable than anything found in this world. When a person understands this, his perception changes. He understands the great opportunity that Hashem has given him: a chance to acquire eternity. He will be filled with happiness and joy, and he will take on life with a passion. This is an excerpt from the Shmuz on the Parsha book. All three volumes are available at your local sefarim store, or at www.theShmuz.com. All of the Shmuzin are available FREE of charge, at the theShmuz.com or on the Shmuz app, for Android and Iphone. For more on this topic please listen to Shmuz #204 - Listening to Your Messages

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 80

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 84

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

SPECIAL REPORT

s we continue our path along the most interesting election cycle in modern American history, the Pro-Israel Community (which is largely non-Jewish and, regrettably, includes less than half of American Jewry) is engaged in well-meaning efforts to identify and support the most pro-Israel candidate among the combatants. It is a worthwhile exercise, and will ultimately boil down, as it has in the recent past, to support for the Republican nominee. There plainly is no Democratic candidate worthy of consideration. But what do we get from a seemingly pro-Israel president, and what do we lose when a candidate is elected whose views are hostile to Israel? A look back at history suggests that the answer is surprisingly complex and unpredictable. Let’s begin with the last president to serve before the creation of the State of Israel - Franklin Roosevelt. Perhaps no other president was as beloved by the American Jewish Community of his day as FDR, in large part because of the ignorance of that community to the events transpiring in war-torn Europe (we can thank the New York Times and the national media outlets for that). While FDR presided over the Allied Forces’ victory over the Nazi regime, his presidency was marred by his refusal to bomb the train tracks to Auschwitz and other Nazi death camps - a simple and nearly cost-free initiative that would have saved millions of Jewish lives. His presidency was further tarnished by his refusal to permit the SS St. Louis (the “Voyage of the Damned”), carrying hundreds of Jewish refugees, to dock on US soil, thereby condemning the refugees to a return to Europe and many to an almost certain death. Notwithstanding his other accomplishments and his unqualified support among the Jews of his time, FDR, by his actions and inactions, may have been the most anti-Semitic president to ever hold office. Certainly no other president was in a position to save so many Jewish lives and utterly failed in that opportunity. Then came Harry Truman, the

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 86

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

president who had the courage to immediately recognize the State of Israel after it declared its independence in 1948. At least he was pro-Israel, right? Not exactly. As Israel was prepared to announce its statehood simultaneously with the end of the British Mandate, Truman had accepted the advice of the State Department to deny Israel American recognition. Aware of this predicament, Chaim Weizmann, Israel’s first president, traveled to Washington to beseech Truman to change his mind, but he could not obtain an audience with the President. It was only after Eddie Jacobson, Truman’s close friend and former business partner from Missouri, came to Washington at the behest of Weizmann and pleaded with Truman to reconsider, that Harry Truman, in the face of continuing opposition from the Secretary of State, had his famous meeting with Weizmann and recognized the nascent State of Israel. Following that historical event, Truman had little ongoing interest in the Jewish State. Truman was followed by Dwight D. Eisenhower, the Supreme Commander of the Allied Forces who defeated the Nazis in World War II. Eisenhower personally witnessed the liberation of the death camps and the lifeless condition of the Jewish inmates who had managed to survive. Surely, he would be supportive of Israel as a much-needed place of refuge for the Jews of Europe and North Africa. Again, not exactly. To Eisenhower, Israel was an irritant in the broader picture of the geopolitics of the Middle East. Under Eisenhower, there was a complete embargo on the sale of arms by the US to Israel (in those days, Israel’s air force flew Mirage jets made in France, not the US Phantoms). And, when Israel captured the Sinai from Egypt in a defensive war in 1956, Eisenhower demanded that Israel unilaterally withdraw in exchange for nothing. He thus created a very dangerous mindset in the Middle East among Arab nations that they had little to lose by military offensives - the United States would not allow Israel to expand its borders. John F. Kennedy followed Eisenhower in 1960. Now, if ever there was

a president to be feared by the pro-Israel camp, here he was. Kennedy’s father, Joseph, was an avowed anti-Semite and Nazi sympathizer. As the US Ambassador to England, Joseph Kennedy wrote of how he admired Hitler’s strategy of uniting Germans around a common enemy - the Jews and how the Jews were deserving of their isolation and discrimination. Think of how uncomfortable many are today with President Obama’s association with Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who preaches a virulently anti-Semitic

u"ga, ’c rst

message. But in 1960, that message had been articulated by the president’s father! Surely the Jews would be in for a rough time under JFK. Again, not exactly. Kennedy was the first American president to employ the rhetoric of America’s “special commitment” to Israel. More importantly, Kennedy ended the embargo on US arms sales to Israel that had been in place under Truman and Eisenhower. While Kennedy and Ben-Gurion had a spirited disagreement over Israel’s develop-

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 87

MARCH 2016

ment of nuclear weapons, that debate, by all accounts, was driven by Kennedy’s fear of a nuclear arms race in the Middle East rather than any particular desire to limit Israel’s capabilities. JFK, whose father admired Adolf Hitler, became the first president who was undoubtedly pro-Israel. Lyndon Baines Johnson took the oath of office aboard Air Force One in 1963, just hours after JFK’s assassination. In his election campaign of 1964, support for Israel was hardly on anyone’s radar - the United States was enmeshed in an escalating and increasingly unpopular war in Vietnam, and experiencing social upheaval at home. LBJ is best known, and either loved or hated, for two things: the expansion of the Vietnam War and the creation of the Great Society designed to improve social justice for American minorities. And yet his unqualified support for Israel makes him perhaps the most proIsrael president in history. LBJ didn’t seek out a role in the Arab-Israeli dispute. Rather, it was thrust upon him as the Arabs moved closer to war in 1967. LBJ made sure

that Israel had the military support that it needed, and he did not interfere as the Six Day War came to a close, while Abba Eban, under tremendous international pressure, tap-danced around a demand for a cease-fire until Israel had unified Jerusalem and solidified its control of the Golan Heights. Most importantly, after Israel’s historic conquest of the Sinai, Judea, Samaria, the Gaza Strip and the Golan, LBJ, in contrast to Eisenhower in 1956, did not demand a unilateral return of the captured territory. Rather, he helped to broker UN Resolution 242, which contemplates Israeli withdrawal of “territories” (note the absence of the word “all”) in exchange for “secure boundaries.” LBJ clearly was a friend of Israel, although that friendship hardly could have been predicted by pro-Israel voters in 1964. Then came Richard Nixon. While we are not privy to the private files of all the presidents, one would be hardpressed to find evidence of anti-Semitism more damning than the tapes of Nixon’s White House. President Nixon did not like Jews, plain and simple.

And based upon his demonstrable antiSemitism, it would have been reasonable to conclude that Nixon would have been the last person we would want to have in office should Israel face an existential threat. But Israel did face an existential threat right in the middle of the Nixon presidency - the Yom Kippur War. Faced with its enemies advancing on three fronts and a severely depleted arsenal, Golda Meir called on the United States for urgent assistance and Nixon responded by authorizing the largest airlift of weapons and military supplies in the history of Middle Eastern warfare. Nixon, an avowed anti-Semite, is credited by many in the Israeli Government with being Israel’s greatest friend. He certainly came to Israel’s rescue in its hour of greatest need. Following Nixon’s impeachment and the short-lived presidency of Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter came to power. Carter was no friend of Israel but his religious background gave him an obsessive interest in the Middle East. Carter was determined to force Israel into a lopsided deal with the Palestini-

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 88

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

ans, but two things got in his way: (1) the election of Menachem Begin as Israel’s Prime Minister, and (2) the Iran hostage crisis. Begin was too strong for Carter and would not be bullied, and the hostage crisis occupied the last 14 months of the Carter presidency, precluding Carter from any diplomatic initiatives against Israel in favor of its Muslim opponents. Carter did broker a peace agreement between Israel and Egypt that was initiated with Sadat’s visit to Israel in 1977 and culminated with a signed treaty in early 1979. In contrast to 1956, here Israel returned the Sinai Peninsula in exchange for a peace accord that has remained in place for some 35 years and prompted a similar treaty with Jordan. One can debate the wisdom of “land for peace” exchanges, but it is not debatable that Israel’s security has been enhanced by its coordination with the Egyptian military. Carter, whose anti-Zionism sentiments were only fully revealed after he left office, did little damage to Israel and, arguably, provided Israel with material assistance. Like Nixon, Carter delivered a far better outcome than one would have expected. In both cases, the respective presidents’ anti-Semitism was never actualized. That brings us to Ronald Reagan the greatest president since Lincoln, right? Everyone today in the Republican Party longs for the leadership of Reagan. But when it comes to Israel, there were two Reagans. One offered lofty rhetoric of the unbreakable friendship between Israel and the United States - rhetoric theretofore unspoken in the Republican Party that I was privileged to observe personally when President Reagan spoke at my father’s synagogue in October, 1984. But then there was the Reagan who condemned Israel’s destruction of the Osirak nuclear reactor in Iraq, declared an embargo on the sale of US planes to Israel in response, caused the United States to sell highly sophisticated AWACS surveillance planes to Saudi Arabia in the face of bitter Israeli and Congressional opposition, and who laid a wreath at the cemetery of Nazi soldiers in Bitburg, Germany against the fervent pleas of Elie Wiesel.

Reagan, superficially, had his heart in the right place. But he often was influenced by anti-Israel advisors throughout his cabinet. There’s an important lesson to be learned from the Reagan presidency. A well-intentioned president - and Reagan certainly fits this bill - may be inadequate to counter the dangerous forces at play within the Departments of State and Defense. As the first George Bush pursued the presidency, the Republican Party, buoyed by the charm and charisma of

u"ga, ’c rst

Reagan, had finally emerged as a legitimate option for pro-Israel voters. But the enthusiasm was short lived. President George H. W. Bush was steadfastly opposed to any building in Judea and Samaria, and sought to punish then Housing Minister Ariel Sharon by threatening to veto US loan guarantees of $10 billion - a financial accommodation by the United States that effectively cost America nothing - designed to help Israel finance the absorption of over one million Soviet Jews. When AIPAC cried foul over

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 89

MARCH 2016

Bush’s mean-spirited threat, the president revived the ancient canard of undue Jewish influence by referring to himself as “one little lonely guy” fighting against “powerful political forces.” Fortunately, Israel was not confronted by an existential crisis during his term in office. The Clinton era ushered in a different relationship between the United States and Israel, oddly enough, perhaps too friendly. On the one hand, you had Bill Clinton, someone who genuinely admired and respected the State of Israel, but who was firmly committed to a “two state solution.” On the other side, there was Yitzchak Rabin (until his assassination in 1995) followed by Shimon Peres, then Bibi Netanyahu for 3 years, and concluding with Ehud Barak. In Rabin and Barak, Clinton had the opportunity to interface with Israel’s most decorated war heroes, both unfortunately being in the left wing Labor Party. It was a prescription for disaster. With Rabin, Clinton achieved the “Oslo Accords” - a series of one-sided agreements that were greeted by the Palestinians with a brutal escalation of terrorism. And, with Barak’s encouragement, Clinton came up just short of reaching a complete settlement with Yasser Arafat at Camp David - a settlement where the Arabs were offered virtually all of Judea and Samaria as well as the Temple Mount. One can only wonder why this proposal was rejected by Arafat, but we must be grateful for his recalcitrance. The agreement plainly would have been suicidal for Israel. President Clinton plainly had warm feelings for Israel but he injected himself into Israeli-Palestinian negotiations like no president before or since. Despite his good intentions, however, Clinton was more dangerous to the interests of Israel than any president since Eisenhower. The contest between George W. Bush and Al Gore in 2000 was the closest election in history. Both candidates supported Israel, with neither standing out on this issue. As we moved into the Bush II era, however, something fundamentally changed: On September 11, 2001, the United States was tragically attacked by Muslim ex-

tremists. While most nations were shocked and expressed solidarity with America, the Palestinians were proudly celebrating in the streets. This unprovoked hatred affected President Bush deeply and he understood, like no president before him, just how absurd it was to expect the Israelis to make concessions to such villainous people. When Ariel Sharon withdrew from Gaza in 2005, President Bush informed Sharon, by letter dated April 14, 2004, that the United States recognized the new “realities on the ground” (meaning the increased Jewish population) in Judea and Samara and that, in future negotiations, a return to the 1949 armistice lines was “unrealistic.” Unfortunately, Bush’s letter to Sharon was torn to shreds by Secretary of State Clinton as soon as she took office. That brings us up to date as we now consider President Obama. As evident from this brief history, some presidents looked bad but ended up good, and some looked good but ended up bad. Obama, in contrast, looked bad and was bad. No president in history has been as openly hostile to Israel as Obama, and the agreement he reached with Iran has funneled billions of dollars to known terrorist groups and paved the way for a nuclear Iran. Hillary Clinton, if elected, will continue where Obama left off. Those who support Israel should not give her their vote. Despite Obama, Israel is at the apex of its military strength, technological prowess and economic vitality. But that is a testament to the resilience of the Israeli people and to Divine Providence. Israel’s neighborhood, and the entire world around it, is becoming increasingly dangerous, and our choice for the next president is more important than ever. When Donald Trump promises to be “neutral” in Israeli-Palestinian negotiations, just consider how much better “neutrality” would have been than the aggressive approach adopted by Clinton and nearly achieved. So what can we learn from history as we consider which Republican candidate to support? Plainly, no matter who is elected, the situation is high-

ly fluid and dynamic and history tells us that a president’s course of action may be highly unpredictable. Nonetheless, we have learned to look for the following qualities in choosing our elected officials: • A keen sense of who is right and who is wrong in the Israel/Palestinian controversy • A willingness to identify and confront evil rather than to excuse it • A recognition that Israel knows what is best for it and, therefore, an unwillingness to pressure Israel to make unwanted concessions • A willingness to keep Israel at a level of extreme military superiority relative to its neighbors, recognizing that Israel has never asked for US soldiers to be placed in harm’s way in its defense • A recognition that the Israeli/Palestinian conflict is all but irrelevant to the upheaval in the Muslim world. The real battles are between Sunnis and Shiites, and between radical Sunnis (ISIS) and more moderate Sunnis. There is no global imperative to solve the Israeli/Palestinian dispute - it will do little if anything to reduce the temperature in the Middle East • A recognition that Congress has mandated since 1995 that the US Embassy be housed in Jerusalem, Israel’s eternal capital, and there is no good reason to further delay this legislative direction Having said all that, let’s gain some important perspective on the US presidency as it relates to the health of Israel. They say that in Israel, one who believes in miracles is a realist. Looking back some 90 years on the cast of characters who were privileged to hold the most powerful position on the face of the earth, it is nothing less than miraculous that Israel has continued to grow, prosper and flourish. The hand of G-d is everywhere to be seen in Israel’s development. We should, of course, try to pick the right president, but let’s not forget who’s really running the show. Let’s therefore include prayer, charity and good deeds as an essential part of a pro-Israel strategy.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 90

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

I S R A E L

SYRIA R

and the eal demogRaphic thReat BY CAROLINE GLICK

his month marked the 17th anniversary of Jordan’s King Abdullah’s coronation after the death of his father, King Hussein. Abdullah’s ascension to the monarchy was unanticipated. His uncle Hassan was his father’s long-serving crown prince and was expected to inherit the throne. Hussein made the change in succession from his deathbed.

Today it is hard to believe that Abdullah will have the power to decide who succeeds him. For generations, the largest looming threat to Jordan was its Palestinian majority. Although estimates of the size of Jordan’s Palestinian population vary widely, some placing it at just over 50 percent, and other estimates claiming that Palestinians made up 70% of the overall population, all

credible demographic studies have agreed that most Jordanians are Palestinians. It was due to fear of his Palestinian citizenry that for the past decade or so, Abdullah has sought to disenfranchise them. Beginning around 2004, Abdullah began throwing Palestinians out of the Jordanian armed forces. He also began canceling their citizenship.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 92

MARCH 2016

According to a 2010 report by Human Rights Watch, between 2004 and 2008, the kingdom revoked the citizenship of several thousand Palestinian Jordanians and hundreds of thousands were considered at risk of losing their citizenship in an arbitrary process. Today, concerns that Palestinians may assert their rights as the majority and so threaten the kingdom have given way to even greater fears. Demographic changes in Jordan in recent years have been so enormous that Palestinians may be the least of Abdullah’s worries. Indeed, it is far from clear that they are still the majority of the people in Jordan. Since the US-led invasion of Iraq in 2003, between 750,000 and a million Iraqis entered Jordan. Current data are not clear regarding how many of those Iraqis remain in Jordan today. But whatever their number, they have been eclipsed by the Syrians. Today, the official UN count of Syrian refugees stands at 635,000. That official number is probably less than half the actual number of Syrians in Jordan, which is assessed at between 1.1 million and 1.6 million - or some 13% of the population. To get a sense of just how large the population changes have been, it is worth looking at historic data. According to the World Bank, the population of Jordan stood at 5.29 million in 2004. In 2013 it was 6.46 million. In 2015 it was 9.53 million. The massive influx has strained Jordan’s public resources to the breaking point. According to King Abdullah, a quarter of the kingdom’s budget last year went to supporting the refugees. According to a 2014 report by Germany’s Konrad Adenauer Siftung, the aggregate cost of the Syrian presence in Jordan outstripped its economic benefits by around $2 billion. A Chatham House report on the Syrian refugees in Jordan warned that in the coming years, the Syrian refugee flow could have a profound impact on the stability of the kingdom. Until 2013, the regime’s main concern was the radicalization of Beduin tribes in large part due to the rise of al-Qaida and Islamic State (ISIS or IS) among

Beduin tribes in the Sinai and the Muslim Brotherhood’s rise to power in Egypt. Although those concerns remain prevalent today, they are being eclipsed by the destabilizing impact of Syrian refugees in the north of the country. According to the September 2015 Chatham House report, although there appears to be little public support for regime change in Jordan, “If the economic situation fails to improve across the country, and resentment of refugees continues to fuel other na-

u"ga, ’c rst

tional grievances, protests against government policies could escalate in the coming five to 10 years.” In Lebanon, the refugee crisis is even more profound. Since the start of the war in Syria, more than a million Syrians have entered Lebanon as refugees. Today they comprise 25% of the population of Lebanon. Three quarters of the refugees are Sunnis. Their presence in Lebanon has upended the demographic balance between Sunnis, Shi’ites and Christians. While Hezbol-

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 93

MARCH 2016

lah has deployed thousands of forces to Syria to prevent the Iranian-sponsored Assad regime from falling to Sunni opposition forces, the Sunni refugees in Lebanon have been fighting Hezbollah forces throughout the country. Many of these Sunnis are affiliated with Salafist groups like IS and the al-Qaida-aligned al-Nusra Front. It is far from clear what the medium- and short-term implications of the refugee flows will be for either Jordan or for Lebanon. But there can be no doubt that they will have profound long-term ramifications. Neither Jordan nor Lebanon have a clear unifying national ethos. Before the Syrians began streaming over the border, the ruling Hashemites comprised somewhere around 20% of the overall population. The backbone of the regime was the Beduin tribes, which, as noted, have undergone a process of radicalization in recent years. Jordan’s relations with Israel have already been negatively impacted by this radicalization. When King Abdul-

lah appointed Walid Obeidat to serve as ambassador to Israel in 2012, his tribe - the largest in Jordan - disowned him. Experts on Jordan warned that the tribe’s action indicated that relations between the regime and the tribes were at an all-time low. Although previous ambassadorial appointments had been criticized, the Obeidat tribe’s reaction to their son’s appointment to Israel was unprecedented. According to Chatham House, given the current social instability in the kingdom, it is unclear that Abdullah’s regime will be able to implement its gas deal with Israel. Both Israel and the US view the survival of the Hashemite monarchy as a key national interest. And both have made clear over the years that they will deploy forces to defend the Hashemite regime from Islamist forces that have in recent years pledged to overthrow it. In 2014 for instance, the Obama administration held a confidential Senate briefing regarding threats to the regime’s survival. A senator who attended the briefing told The Daily Beast, “Jordan could not repel a full assault from ISIS on its own at this

point,” and would ask Israel and the US to defend it. At the same time, it is hard to believe that the threats to the regime, particularly the demographic threat posed by the massive transfer of population from Syria to Jordan, are likely to subside in the near future. Indeed, Russia’s entry into the war on the side of the Iranian-sponsored Assad regime will likely cause the number of Syrians seeking refuge in neighboring states to rise. The same goes for Lebanon. The demographic transformations that Jordan and Lebanon are currently undergoing require Israel to reassess our regional position and strategic options to preserve and defend the country in the coming years. This is particularly the case for everything related to demographic threat assessments. Unfortunately, despite the collapse of Syria and Iraq, and despite the rising threats to Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon, for the most part, Israeli analysts continue to base their view of Israel’s options moving forward - particularly in relation to the Palestinians - on a regional map that is no longer relevant.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 94

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

Sunday the Labor Party endorsed party leader Isaac Herzog’s plan to unilaterally withdraw from much of Judea and Samaria. Given the regional population changes, the notion that Israel can transfer more land along its eastern flank to the chronically unstable and hostile Palestinian Authority today is reckless at best. For all their weaknesses, both the Jordanian and Lebanese regimes are far stronger than the PA. And they have been unable to stop the refugee flows across their borders. It is impossible to imagine that a Palestinian state on the western side of the Jordan River could block refugee flows from the east, particularly when the Palestinians demand the free immigration of millions of ethnic Palestinians from Jordan, Syria and Lebanon. The demographic transformation of Jordan and Lebanon in recent years shows that the greatest demographic threat to the remaining states in the region is not natural growth, but refugees from states that have collapsed. The integration of Palestinians into Israel is far less dangerous to the long-term survivability of Israel than the influx of millions of refugees from neighboring states into a Palestinian state on the western side of the Jordan River. In the hopes of keeping the Syrians displaced by the war in their country from turning to Europe for refuge, last week Western countries held a donor conference for Syria in London. Speaking at the conference King Abdullah warned that Jordan is at a “boiling point,” and told the West to commit to donating $1.6 billion over the next three years before the “dam bursts.” Unfortunately, the dam is already leaking. And if Israel doesn’t want to be flooded as well, the time has come to understand that old thinking about demography - and just about everything else - is no longer relevant. Originally published in The Jerusalem Post

Caroline Glick is the senior Middle East Fellow at the Center for Security Policy in Washington, DC, the deputy managing editor of The Jerusalem Post and a contributor to the Jewish World Review.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 95

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 96

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

MARCH 2016

I S R A E L

From Our Day of Birth We Are Always in an ‘Ad D’Lo Yodah’ Situation By Dov Shurin

s we approach the great Purim celebration, when we drink until we don’t know the difference (ad d’lo yodah) between ‘blessed be Mordechai and cursed be Haman,’ we realize that life, even without the bottle, is still one enigmatic Ad D’lo Yodah! Dovid Ha’Melech says it in Tehillim 39 verse 5: ‘Hashem, please let me know my purpose for coming into this world and please reveal to me how much time You are allotting me!’ Those are the 2 questions that keep us in a concurrent ‘Ad D’lo Yodah’ state all year long! Now I, for one, do know what I’m doing here. I spend my days singing to Hashem, and I still have over 200 unrecorded songs. So I now find myself praying the following: ‘Master of the Universe, I need to live as long as our Zeideh Yitzchok Avinu, 180 years, so I can record all the beautiful songs that You have given me.’ ‘What’s the big deal?’ I say to Hashem, ‘You give life, so give me ad meah shmonim, 180 years! Just like You gave my grandfather, Yitzchok Avinu.’ At the Kosel, in 1974, a Chasid walked up to me and, as if needing to express his thoughts to someone, suddenly said to me, ‘You know, if you want something, anything; just ask Hashem, and if it is good for you, then you will get it!’ So now I pray, ‘Tatty, give me 180 years. I think it will be good for me, but, even more important, it will also be good for You! For Your Honor! Why? Because when, let’s say, at 160 years old, people will ask me, “How

did you manage to live so long? Good diet, no smoking or drinking?” I’ll answer: “No way; I simply prayed for it and told Hashem that I will always credit only Him, not diets shmayits!!!” And this will help others to believe in You!’ Then I hear my inner voice saying, ‘Why should you be granted 180 years when people who are better than you, Roshei HaYeshivas, Askanim, etc. are dying every day? Little you, you’re gonna live so long? Meshugah!’ I answer my inner self as follows: ‘People are just not praying for their own long life, because of their ‘eternal soul,’ which is in each of us! No one really believes that they will actually die.’ This, I heard from my holy Zeidah, Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky zt’l. He mentioned the Agadita that an old man was planting a carob tree, which takes 70 years to bear fruit. When someone asked him, ‘Why plant a tree, when you’ll never see its fruits?’ He answered, ‘I’m planting it for my grandchildren.’ Now my Holy Zeideh looked piercingly into my eyes, smiled and said, ‘But that was only a “terutz,” an excuse. The man really DID BELIEVE that he would see its fruits. Because everyone senses their eternal soul, which in fact does not die. Rather, it ascends.’ And now I understand why people bless others, ‘You should live till 120.’ But they never say, ‘May I myself live till 120, please G-d!’ Because no one prays for their own long life, believing that they will never die! But, from now on, Dov Shurin DOES pray – ‘Please, until 180!’ Recently, I asked Hashem, ‘What,

truly, is the significance of 180?’ He revealed to me that Kayin, after he killed Hevel, was given, ‘Na v’nad’ years on the land. The numerical value of ‘Na v’nad’(a drifting shlepper) is in fact 180! I loved that Hashem answered me! It’s my hint that He will go all the way and grant me till 180! It is interesting that the Torah doesn’t tell us how long Kayin lived, but I think I know; he was ‘Na v’nad’ years b’aretz, on the land - 180 years (until his seventh generation grandchild killed him by mistake). And since we are all ‘Ad d’lo yodah’ people, or ‘Na v’nad’ shleppers and drifters, we should all daven for the same. Yitzchok Avinu, who also did not know how long he would live, was given 180 years - a ripe lifetime for his day and age. Let me end by saying that on my Zeideh’s yartzeit, on Erev Rosh Chodesh Adar 2, I was reading Tehillim at Kever Rochel. I was thinking, My Zeideh used to say, “I’m sure that I’ll live as long as the Chofetz Chaim because I know, with clarity, ALL of his Mishna Brura commentary on the Shulchon Orech.” And, in fact, he lived till 95, the same age as the Chofetz Chaim. Now I was thinking, ‘Why was my Zeideh satisfied, even thrilled, that he was to live just 95 years? The answer is that he was pragmatic, he was a normal person! But I’m not, I fell far from the carob tree, and so, 180 here I come!’ Just then, a Chashuve Chasid arrived at Kever Rochel and said to me, ‘It’s your Zeideh’s yartzeit, right? He lived till 95, right? But you told me you’re praying to live till 180 so I have to tell you what just happened to me on the bus. I said to someone, “Nu, be well, and you should live till 120.” He immediately shut me up by saying “You’re not koveya (It’s not for you to decide how long I’ll live)!” We both laughed a real Month of Adar laugh. Hey, we realized that there are others who are just as crazy as me. People who are hoping for MORE than 120. I am not alone! L’chaim, L’chaim, Ad D’lo Yodah! dovshurin@yahoo.com

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 98

u"ga, ’c rst

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

HEALTH & ADVICE

Dear Bubby If you would like advice from Bubby send your letters to: Bubby, c/o Country Yossi Family Magazine, 1310 48th Street, Suite 308, Brooklyn, New York 11219

PURIM BLOOPERS THE FOLLOWING DEAR BUBBY LETTERS DIDN’T QUITE MAKE THE CUT! Dear Bubby, I am hoping that you will print this in the next Country Yossi issue! I am an aspiring shadchan and it would really help to get my name out there to all the singles in need. When I was growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a shadchan, especially since you don’t need any formal education or degrees and I hated school. Even when I was a little girl, I was always good at making matches! I used to sort out the socks after my mom did laundry and I never had a single sock stay single, so to speak! (lol) Then when I was in high school I had a knack for making the best sandwiches. I knew what bread would best pair with what topping. I was known for my Triple P Sandwich, consisting of pumpernickel bread topped with pesto and pickles. I know a good match when I see it. Now that I am in the singles scene myself and have been for quite a while, I have a keen understanding of what doesn’t work. For example, never match up an athlete with a couch potato. I know firsthand how exhausting it can be

when your date constantly wants to go places. Also, and this is a big no-no, never match up someone born in Adar with someone born in Mar Cheshvan. It’s a recipe for disaster. I was born in Marcheshvan and my date was born in Adar; his constant joy and happiness really got on my nerves. I haven’t actually made any shidduchim yet, but the last few people I set up never called me again so I’m assuming they are really doing great. Anyhow, I hope this letter/resume gets printed so that I can help people find their zivugim. Oh, and as a side note, if anyone reading this knows of a well-educated (PHD required), well to do (enjoys spoiling their mate), and very good looking (but not shallow) bochur, please give his parents my info! Sincerely, Shadchan at Your Service Dear Bubby, I’m writing to you about my husband Zvulun. We have been married for 12 years and I really can’t take it anymore. When Zvulun and I were

dating I made it very clear to him that I need my “me” time. I don’t know if he has amnesia but since we’ve been married he seems to have totally forgotten this and expects me to do, do and do some more. I’m a full time stayat-home mom, which everyone knows is the most exhausting job there is. All my kids are in school a full day so I make it a priority to nap every day while the kids are in school so that I have the energy to be alert when the kids get home and their homework tutors arrive. I can’t even tell you how hungry everyone is by the time Zvulun gets home with the dinner he’s picked up for us, obviously with all that I do there’s no time to cook or clean. I’m especially exhausted on Shabbos because that’s the one day we don’t have cleaning help. So before my Shabbos nap I’m sweeping the floor, and while I’m napping, Zvulun is playing with the kids and they can get really noisy which interferes with my shluf. After Zvulun is done putting the kids to bed and the housekeeper finally finishes straightening up, all I want is some quality me time. I so look forward to my Monday night book club, and Tuesday and Wednesday my needle point and yoga classes. Before I turn around its Thursday and I find myself having to call in my order for my Shabbos delivery. The week seems to fly by and Zvulun seems to feel like I should be making more time for him, but frankly I’m exhausted and can’t imagine squeezing anything else into my hectic schedule. How do I make Zvulun understand that the world doesn’t revolve around him and I can’t do it all!? Yours Truly, Overworked and Underpaid

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 100

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

HEALTH & ADVICE

Procrastination … title to be determined…

have a “to do” list on my phone dated 180 days ago. This one little “to do” list is languishing here, mocking me with its everincreasing age; but only on days when I allow its existence to cross the threshold of my consciousness. Most days (about 170 of them so far) I don’t think about it at all. But today, through a little crack in the system, it penetrated the firewall of my subconscious and announced itself jarringly. A quick mathematical calculation and I realized I had allowed 6 months to pass. Ouch! It upset me that I could ignore my own list for that long. I’m usually a responsible adult; ostensibly I understand the reasons that to do lists exist in the first place. Hello, my name is Sheri and I’m a procrastinator. It seems I’m in good company, though. About 20% of the population identifies as procrastinators and in college settings between 80-90% of students admit to procrastination, and that number stands with doctoral students working on dissertations. Certainly not the visage of laziness you might envision when you think of procrastinators. One common cause of procrastination is ADHD, a disorder that is marked by poor executive functioning and selfregulation skills. These are the mental processes that enable us to plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. The brain needs this skill set to filter distractions, prioritize tasks, set and achieve goals, and control impulses. Transitioning from a reliable schedule can be

daunting and difficult because the job of creating and managing a new agenda will most likely not be seamless. It requires carving out time by prioritizing tasks and managing tight time schedules. It can seem almost impossible; until the task at hand gets really interesting. That seems to be the key to people with ADHD getting things done. The flip side of an unregulated attention system is that when something is interesting the focus is so intent its laser-like focus can exclude anything else completely. Hyperfocus is the ADHD version of flow and it can be very good for getting things done, once it’s off the ground. So what is it about this list; is it just too boring? As it turns out, boring is a problem for lots of people, even those without ADHD. Current research has found that giving up pleasure right now in exchange for future gains is one of the hardest things to get ourselves to do. We tend to convince ourselves that our future self will feel more like handling this task or be better equipped than our present self; even though that future we are talking about is tomorrow and logically we know that we aren’t changing by then. Still, in the moment we believe it- enough to wager on it. That means we’ll wait and try later when we’re bound to be more inspired, energetic or focused. This form of procrastination is actually a failure of self-control and explains the common gap between good intentions and good behavior. Don’t despair or give up on your current self, there are ways to overcome procrastination and master self-control. 1. Make it more pleasant! Rather than rewarding ourselves at the end of the task (future gains fall victim to that bird in the hand theory) let’s provide ongoing incentives throughout the task. Less bore, more incentive and built-in motivation to help our present selves master the task. 2. Create a commitment that goes beyond ourselves Find a way to make it impossible to back out or push off what has to be done by involving something or someone we view as more accountable. For most of us, if we have to we will. So make that

appointment that guarantees you’ll have to have something to show for yourself to provide a framework for deadlines beyond a personal timeline. 3. Set realistic goals Let’s not push our backs against the wall to do something tomorrow if our future selves can’t handle the task. We can break the task down into more manageable steps, enlist some help or create a more forgiving timeline that takes into account the other tasks on our priority list that aren’t going anywhere. In my case, a more forgiving timeline was not the answer. My list contained solid steps I had created to move toward a new goal something I was very excited about when I dreamed it up and researched it. I was forced to ask myself some questions: Am I still as excited about this idea? Do I have any overriding concerns? Do I have time to pursue a new goal right now? Sometimes we avoid a task because of the fear of failure and sometimes because we fear success. The latter is even more common as we move forward. Instead of success breeding greater confidence, the opposite happens. What if I succeed and I can’t handle it? What if I actualize the dream and then have to walk away or watch it fall apart? Fear is a powerful form of procrastination. The answers to these questions led me to a new list. It has smaller steps, I’ve delegated some of them to family and hired someone for others. Now I’m accountable to someone outside myself and I have put my money on the line. I also had frank discussions about the time constraints this would pose and got the people in my life on board, which alleviated a lot of the underlying anxiety about shuffling priorities. Hi, my name is Sheri, and I’m a recovering procrastinator. I have 3 days under my belt. Wish me luck! Sheri Toiv-Ellenberg, LMHC is a licensed mental health counselor working with adults, adolescents and couples to achieve greater life satisfaction and improved relationships. She can be reached at 917-332-7508 or on the web @ SHERITOIV,LMHC.COM

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 101

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

CONTROVERSY

TODAY’S TOPIC: Is Donald Trump a Jerk? Rabbi of Berlin: I really don’t like Trump and I’m wondering who does and why. Cherrybim: Rabbiofberlin - I don’t disagree with you concerning Trump; but he is still an unknown versus a known. And he has frum mechutanim so maybe that’s worth something. For now Trump has a purpose and I don’t think he will make it to the finish line. BTW, no matter what any candidate says while campaigning, the embassy will not move to Jerusalem and the State Dept. will call most of the shots. And Hashem will be the protector of Israel. Dovrosenbaum: Donald Trump is not stupid. He’s someone who tells it like it is. Some people can’t handle the truth and they don’t want to face the music. America is in the pits. We have record amounts of the population on welfare, we’re being overrun by illegal immigrants from Latin America and China who are surreptitiously taking over the economy, and we’re being suffocated by the dictatorship of political correctness, which sees racism and white privilege everywhere, and gets offended if you sneeze the wrong way, especially on left wing college campuses. I see Trump as our last hope. He’s the only one with the unabashed chutzpah to take on those who are destroying the country. He wants to put America first in all things, and that’s what we need. I also do like Ted Cruz. Squeak: You don’t have to defend him to support him. Trump is arrogant and a bigot. Obama is arrogant and a bigot too. Both can be president in this day and age. We have gotten to the point where we are nearly ready to elect Zaphod Beeblebrox. Ubiquitin: “He’s someone who tells it like it is.” No, he says what people want to hear. “Mexico will pay for that wall” isn’t telling it like it is. It is simplistic nonsense.

Are these quotes also “telling it like it is?” On Universal Healthcare: “Everybody’s got to be covered, this is an un-Republican thing I’m going to say, I’m going to take care of everybody...the government’s going to pay for it.” 9/27/2015 On taxing the rich: “Well, basically, this would be a one-time tax, 14.25 percent against people with a net worth of over 10 million. It would pay off in its entirety the national debt of $5.7 trillion, and you’d save $200 billion a year. So taxes for the middle class would go way down, the estate and inheritance tax totally wiped out, and the Social Security system would be saved.” 11/10/1999 On party: “In many cases, I probably identify more as Democrat.” 3/21/2004 “I really believe Republicans are just too crazy. I mean, hey, I lived in New York City, Manhattan all my life, okay? So my views are a little bit different than if I lived in Iowa, perhaps.” 10/1999 “It just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats than the Republicans. Now, it shouldn’t be that way. But if you go back, I mean it just seems that the economy does better under the Democrats. But certainly we had some very good economies under Democrats, as well as Republicans. But we’ve had some pretty bad disasters under the Republicans.” 3/21/2004 On Hillary: “Hillary Clinton. Hillary’s always surrounded herself with very good people, I think Hillary would do a good job.” 9/24/2007 On Pelosi and GW: “I’m very impressed by her [then-House Speaker Nancy Pelosi], she’s a very impressive person. I like her a lot. She was going to really look to impeach Bush, and get him out of office, which, personally, I think would have been a wonderful thing.” 9/24/2007 On Obama: “I thought he did a terrific job. I thought he was strong and smart, and it looks like we have somebody that knows what he is doing finally in office, and he did inherit a tremendous problem. He really stepped into a mess.” 2/9/2009 On immigration and the DREAM Act: “For people that have been here for years, that have been hard workers, have good jobs, are supporting a family, it’s very, very tough to just say ‘you have to leave, get out.’ How do you throw someone out that’s lived in this country for 20 years, you just can’t throw everybody out.” June 18, 2012. Now certainly changing one’s mind is ok, but on so many issues? Including party affiliation? And note the dates on these quotes. Granted, some are dated but many are quite recent!

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 102

MARCH 2016

MDG: Donald Trump is a master salesman who is saying what some people want to hear. He knows how to get attention. For example, by saying we’re going to kick out all illegal aliens. He also knows how to backtrack subtly, like saying we can let the good ones come back in. I predict he will eventually backtrack more and say, “Why kick out the good ones and then let them back in, just keep them here.” His whole life he’s been a limousine liberal and fast talking salesman. Nothing has changed. Flatbusher: Donald Trump is a chameleon. He changes his position on things often and stands for something only to benefit himself. His definition of conservative at the last debate was ridiculous and he has already signaled that he would work with Dems, meaning he will make deals just to prove he is a great dealmaker regardless of what it does for the country. I would rather not vote than vote for him or whoever the Dems put up this year. RebYidd23: I think we would have a better president if we elected someone who didn’t run. It would be unfair for that person, but better for the rest of us. Charliehall: I haven’t seen election-district by election-district level results from Teaneck, but Obama did best in the parts of Riverdale where there is the greatest concentration of Orthodox Jews and worst in the parts of Riverdale where non-Jews (mostly Irish-Americans) dominate. (Romney would actually defeat Obama in IrishAmerican and Italian-American areas of the Bronx even though Obama got 91% of the vote in the Bronx overall. Big deal: I think any Republican still enamored by Trump should watch the debate from last night. Being in a Republican debate bashing former Republican presidents and policies is very disloyal to the party he wants to represent. It’s glaringly obvious that he’s very liberal (and nuts) and to think that he might have a chance to nominate the next Chief Justice is quite chilling. Flatbusher: If Hillary dropped out, I think a Trump unhappy with the way he is being treated by the Republican National Committee could run as a Democrat and he wouldn’t have to change a single thing.

u"ga, ’c rst

Lovelyme: We need a Trump kind of guy in the White House. Otherwise the country will collapse!! We need other countries to be afraid! Go Trump! RebYidd23: The only country afraid of Trump is the United States of America. MDG: Putin has endorsed Trump. Why? Because Putin knows that Trump has no principles - just ego, so he can rule him. Malei daas torah: It really astounds me that Jews are pro Trump. I honestly don’t understand how a Jew could like a man who reads mein kampf (according to an interview he gave, he keeps a copy next to his bed, and he finds it really helps him with his speech giving), who hates minorities (why does everyone assume that because he’s too busy hating on Mexicans and Muslims he won’t get down to us), and who is an all-around chameleon (he changes his views practically every day). This is just besides the fact that he’s a blatant egomaniac, a megalomaniac whose major point is that he has successful businesses (how many have been sued, are the subject of class action lawsuits, have gone bankrupt, or otherwise become defunct), and who is totally out of touch with the world (remember when he was calling Bill Gates to shut down the internet because it was mocking him?). And his supporters are rabidly mad. (All the videos of them attacking people, also the woman who sent him a letter asking him to put the Jews in internment camps! This is who you are allying with?!?!) I lean far more towards the Republican side than the liberal side, but this man is an absolute joke. And the fact that he is popular speaks absolute volumes about the current state of the US. Nishtdayngesheft: Trump is a nut. However, he is not as arrogant or vile or as brazen a law breaker or as anti-Israel as one of Charlie’s heroes, Shrillary Clinton. And Charlie’s other idol is Bernie Sanders, an avowed socialist and complete nut job who will bankrupt the country the day after he is elected. So while Trump is crazy, I am afraid that he is no crazier than either of the leading Democrat nut jobs, and he is likely less evil.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 103

MARCH 2016

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 104

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

Country Yossi Family Magazine

MARCH 2016

ME BRINGS IT HO N IG S E D Y B KOSHER - ARTSCROLL SUSIE FISHBEIN AH VOL. 2 LIVING EMUNAVID ASHEAR - ARTSCROLL RABBI D THE AMIDAH J. MANSOUR RABBI ELI IPES AURANT REC SCHAPIRA - ARTSCROLL T S E R T E R C E S K, LEAH VICTORIA DWEC S TERS' HEART H G U A D IR E H FROM T - ARTSCROLL ESTIE FLORANS E SHER COURS HEIM E R F E R A : H A D EL EMUN APIRMAN - F RABBI DOVID S GROUND STAND YOUR A MAEL - TARGUM PRESS SHOSHAN O CHAPTER TW JAFFE - TARGUM PRESS AZRIELA LL ION POSITIVE VIS ROHOM NEUBERGER - ARTSCRO RABBI AV

ZERO LIMITS CHORR - ISRAEL BOOKSHOP RACHEL S

105

107

1. Simchaas Hachaim 5 - Aderet 2. Yamim Baim - Shuky - Aderet 3. Kol Haderech - Mordechai Schapiro - Aderet

1. Simchaas Hachaim 5 - Aderet 2. Yiddish Nachas - Yossi Green - Nigun 3. We Are a Miracle - Yaakov Shwekey - Aderet

1. Thankful - Shalsheles Jr. 3 - Aderet 2. Project Relax 3 - B. Levine & S. Leiner - Yochi Briskman 3. We Are a Miracle - Yaakov Shwekey - Aderet

MARCH 2016 1. Ah Nekidele - Michoel Schnitzler - Nigun 2. Yiddish Nachas - Yossi Green - Nigun 3. Simchas Hachaim 5 - Aderet

IMPORTANT NOTE These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area. The list does not reflect total sales of any CD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!). The list is designed to be an indication of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently popular in New York. Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations. 108

1. We Are a Miracle - Yaakov Shwekey - Aderet 2. Yismach Melech - Shlomo Katz - Aderet 3. Simchas Hachaim 5 - Aderet

1. We Are a Miracle - Yaakov Shwekey - Aderet 2. Kol Haderech - Mordechai Schapiro - Aderet 3. Old McBerel Had a Farm - Rebbi Hill - Sameach

1. We Are a Miracle - Yaakov Shwekey - Aderet 2. Thankful - Shalsheles Jr. 3 - Aderet 3. Kol Hatoiv - Yumi Lowy - Aderet

1. Twins from France Cholent - Aderet 2. Siam and I - Regal Productions 3. Maharal and the Golem of Prague

1. Sodos - Nigun 2. Bechatzros Kodsheinu 3. Twins from France Cholent - Aderet

1. Siam and I - Regal Productions 2. Wishes - Nigun 3. Kingdom of Aldecott - Rachel's Place

MARCH 2016 1. Siam and I - Regal Productions 2. Catch a Butterfly - Teck Productions 3. Operation Candlelight - Aderet

IMPORTANT NOTE 1. Siam and I - Regal Productions 2. Maharal and the Golem of Prague 3. Twins from France Cholent - Aderet

1. Twins from France Cholent - Aderet 2, Siam and I - Regal Productions 3. Triumph of the Spirit - Torah Legacy Productions

1. Twins from France Cholent - Aderet 2. Megillas Lester - CJ Kramer 3. Siam and I - Regal Productions

These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area. The list does not reflect total sales of any DVD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!). The list is designed to be an indication of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently popular in New York. Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations. 109

110

111

MARCH 2016

H U M O R

The Price of Purim

iving in New York City can be quite an expensive endeavor. This is especially true if you are an observant Jew living in a Jewish neighborhood in New York City. The everyday expenses alone, not even counting rent and tuition and chevra kadisha dues, are just plain astronomical. Food prices are through the roof and the price of clothing and kosher entertainment is just completely bonkers. Owning a car in New York City is a whole ‘nother story altogether. Skyrocketing auto insurance rates, especially high gas taxes, and the parking meter prices and parking tickets are totally insane. On top of the cost of owning a car in the city, there is the traffic and driving issue that arises daily. Try getting through one week of city driving without any dings or dents or outright major collisions with your vehicle. Then add to this the whole parking situation and owning a car in New York City is not a convenience anymore but rather a full-time job. Aside from all these regular daily living expenses are the expenses that come up in Jewish life at specific times of the year around Yom Tov time. A lulav and esrog, a succah, cheesecake and all the other necessities that come up add to the expenses throughout the year. Not only do you need to have the money to purchase these items, but you need to have the time for it as well. One of the most money-consuming times of the year is Purim. Like every other holiday of the year Purim has the expenses of the food and trimmings, but on top of that there are all the other things unique to Purim that cost an arm and a leg. This is especial-

ly true of the overpriced prune Hamantash filling. Extravagant Purim costumes are only the beginning when it comes to all of the necessary spending. Of course all of the Purim costumes have to be matching and homemade originals. When making your costumes, first you have to go to the fabric store and buy a yard of every fabric they carry. This is just the sampling stage so that you can test each fabric individually against your complexion to see which one looks best on you. Then you have to make sure to perform the slim test with each and every fabric swatch to see which one makes you look the thinnest. There are many other tests that need to be performed before a fabric is deemed appropriate for a Purim costume. There’s the stain test to see which food stains will show up on the fabric and which ones won’t. There’s the stress test to see which fabric will stress you the most. Last but not least there’s the schvitz test to see which fabric will make you schvitz the most. You probably want to avoid that one unless you have decided to go with the sauna Purim theme this year. Once the fabric has been deemed appropriate for use and has passed all sorts of halachic standards and has been deemed one hundred percent shatnes and Indian hair free, you have to start shopping for the best schneider in town. This step is one of the most crucial thus far. As part of this process you will have to spend months placing help wanted ads and then collecting and reviewing resumes. Once you have acquired a respectable pile of applicants you can start with the interviewing and sampling process.

The interviewing and sampling process usually starts with about five thousand semi-personal questions hurled at the potential hire by the entire family, all in unison. Once all the questions have been answered in a satisfactory manner and it is determined that the right amount of yichus connections have been made, then we move on to the sampling process. The sampling process is usually the most time-consuming part, at least for the prospective tailor, as he will have to spend the next couple of days living in your home churning out sample Purim costumes with not more than an 1887 Singer sewing machine. After we have collected all the samples and have provided the tailor with loads of criticism on his perfect work, we are ready to move onto the next and final step. The salary negotiation process. Although this is the shortest part of the process, it can also be the most tedious one. The salary negotiation process proceeds as follows. The potential employer throws out an amount that he is willing to pay and doesn’t budge from that lowball amount until the potential tailor agrees to it. Once the potential tailor agrees to this absurdly low amount the potential employer explains that he is planning to pay the tailor only in Hamantashen and kreplach. The tailor has been hired, the costume theme has been chosen. Now all that is left is the costume fitting process. You now have to gather all the kids in one room and get them all to try on their costumes at the same time, while not killing each other. This is no easy feat considering that each costume is seven feet wide and comes equipped with real swords and daggers. So, while preparing for Purim can be a most stressful and monetarily challenging time it can be a fun time too. The key with all this is proper preparation and complete delegation. Why sweat it when you can have others do that for you? Chaptzem is a heimishe blogger that authors the Chaptzem Blog, the most popular heimishe website. The Chaptzem Blog has been quoted many times in the mainstream media and is viewed by thousands daily. www.chaptzem.blogspot.com

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 112

u"ga, ’c rst

113

MARCH 2016

H U M O R

u"ga, ’c rst

ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING When I was fresh out of college, I joined a huge multinational company as a trainee. On my first day there, feeling confident and on top of the world, I dialed the pantry and barked into the phone, “Get me a coffee, quickly!” The voice from the other side responded angrily, “You fool, you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know whom you’re talking to?” “No,” I replied a little nervously. “It’s the Managing Director of the company, you nincompoop!” Thinking quickly, I yelled back, “And do you know whom YOU are talking to, you dunce?” “No,” said the Managing Director indignantly. “Good!” I shouted and quickly put down the phone. C.W. Jerusalem

YIDDISHE MAMA

“THE BRIDGE”

man was walking along a California beach, deep in prayer. Overcome with emotion, he cried out loud, “Hashem! Please grant me, Your humble servant, just one wish.” Suddenly the sky clouded above his head, and in a booming voice Hashem said, “Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.” The man was overjoyed. “Please, Hashem,” he called. “Build a bridge to Hawaii, so I can drive over any time I want to.” Replied Hashem, “Your request is very materialistic. And think of the logistics of that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for Me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honor and glorify Me.” The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he spoke up. “Hashem, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how my wife feels inside, what she’s thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says, ‘Nothing,’ and how I can make her truly happy.” Hashem was silent for a few minutes, and then He said, “You want two lanes or four on that bridge?”

Everything my mother-in-law says sounds like a joke out of a Jackie Mason routine. This year, for example, she gave me two sweaters for Chanukah. The next time I visited her, I made sure to wear one. As I entered her home, instead of smiling she said, “What’s the matter? You didn’t like the other one?” I.B. Flatbush

COLD, HARD FACTS As we were studying the parsha at the Shabbos table one week, I asked my daughter, “Kayla, Yaakov gave his son Yoseph a coat, right?” “Right, Abba.” “Did Yaakov give a coat to Yoseph’s brothers too?” “No.” “So, Kayla, Yoseph got a coat and his brothers didn’t. How do you think the brothers felt?” “Cold.” Y.Z. Monsey Send your true anecdotes, embarrassing moments, bright sayings, real life experiences, or any interesting incident relating to Jewish life in America to: COUNTRY YOSSI MAGAZINE, 1310 48th Street, Brooklyn, New York 11219. All printed submissions will receive free tapes or another valuable prize. Winners should bring legal I.D. PRIZES WILL NOT BE MAILED

e-mail: country@countryyossi.com

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 115

116

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

H U M O R

urim is here and that means it’s time for me to make an appointment with my shaitel macher. You see, I’m one of those people that only go to the shaitel macher twice a year - Rosh Hashana and Pesach or unless there is a FAMILY simcha in between. I just don’t go for ANYONE’S simcha. I set up my appointment Purim time because that’s when I can usually get the “first” appointment of any day I choose. And as we all know - once you don’t have the first appointment scheduled- you can kiss the rest of your day good-bye. After the first appointment she is usually half an hour behind schedule. After the second, an hour behind, so you have to figure if your appointment is at four o’clock, you better be prepared to have someone take your kids off the bus, give them supper and put the little ones to bed. The truth of the matter is, it’s not always the shaitel macher’s fault. Many people come late, others have emergency situations (they flew in for their sons’ wedding and left the shaitel box on the table in L.A.) and then you have a few p’tcheches that no matter how long you spend on them, they don’t like how they look. You’re sitting there looking at your watch, your stomach starts growling because you didn’t eat lunch because you were afraid you might be late. You start tapping your foot and humming and feel like screaming, “Lady - the shaitel is beautiful - the problem is your FACE!” but of course, no one will dare say that. So we sit there stewing, asking to use the phone a million times so that we can put our alternate plans into effect. And if, G-d forbid, you should have a kallah scheduled before you - you might as well go home - because after an hour and a half of trying on every shaitel in stock, they’re still “not sure”

which style or color looks best and so they start narrowing it down for another two hours. Assuming you do wait it out eventually it’s your turn. You climb into the chair and the first thing they do is tie this plastic apron around you and almost choke you to death! Then they

ANOTHER KAYL A CL ASSIC

The “Human Hair” shaitlach are the worst - within two weeks they look the same way they did when you gave them in. But I refuse to give it in again so I try to do it myself. I brushed it into a style I liked and I went out and bought a #100 hair spray for mega, mega, mega hold. If I tell you, I went out on a windy day where empty garbage cans were rolling down the street, papers were flying - but not a single hair blew out of place. True, I couldn’t blink for a week because some of the spray got on my lashes and I had to go to the eye surgeon to have my tear ducts unclogged, but hey that’s a small price to pay for looking beautiful! Now, buying a brand new shaitel falls into a totally different category than when you’re going for the usual wash and set pick up. To begin with, you’re a nervous wreck because you hope you’re buying the right one. After all, we’re giving out a small fortune here. The shaitel macher then “clips” the shaitel on your head and gives you a “general” idea of what it will look like when it’s styled. Personally, every shaitel that I have tried on in the last 20 years looks the SAME when they show me the “general idea,” - a mop on top of my head. But I won’t admit to that, so I say “Oh, looks great! Go ahead!” As soon as she makes that first snip, I panic. Maybe it’s too short. Maybe I should have left it longer? But soon the shaitel macher works her magic and I sigh with relief. Thank G-d it looks NOTHING like the “general idea.” As I ask the shaitel macher to fix a few hairs here and there, and maybe thin it out a bit, and maybe cut the bangs a bit shorter, I notice the lady who’s waiting to go next looking at her watch, tapping her foot and humming. “O.K. lady, I get the hint. It’s my FACE, right?!?” Happy Purim!

K ay l a Kuchle f fe l

DOING TIME AT THE SHAITEL MACHER take this elastic strap with two clips on either end and clip it under your chin to the side of the shaitel to hold it in place, at the same time cutting off all circulation to your face. Then the blowing and brushing begins. By the time she’s done, you’re suffering from whiplash and third degree burns to your neck, ears and side of the face. Then to top it off, they start spraying non-stop for 30 seconds right into your face - causing you to have a coughing fit. But, that’s a small price to pay for looking beautiful! Then what do we do? We put this gorgeous shaitel on a styrofoam head, that has this “miserable” face that the kids drew on it, and try to fit it into this square shaitel box that squashes it flat as soon as you zip it up and you end up re-combing it as soon as you get home because for some reason it just doesn’t look the same as it did 10 minutes ago in the chair.

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 117

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

WHAT’S NEW

AROUND TOWN PHOTOGRAPHY WORKSHOPS BY DEVORIE ZUTLER

evorie Zutler, an experienced portrait photographer for over 20 years, has four different Photography Workshops for YOU to choose from. By sharing her love and passion for Photography with others, she is able to help Women and Teens explore their hobbies and talents, in a frum environment. 1. Photography Workshops for Women and Teens is a 6-week interactive, full intensive Photography course for both Hobbyists and aspiring Professionals. Each lesson focuses on both the Artistic and Technical sides of Photography; and “demystifying” many features on the camera.

Each class is a visual experience, using a projector and screen to display many different pictures illustrating the various concepts that are being taught. Every attendee will receive a Photography book to keep, with all the lessons they have learned in the workshop. 2. Girl’s Sunday Program The girls will learn the artistic side of Photography and many different tips on how to take better pictures. They will be given fun weekly assignments. There will be many projects/contests/prizes that the girls will be given throughout the workshop, such as the “Young me - Now me,” “Mystery Photo Contest” and “Photograph your

Name” assignments. Each child will be given a beautiful scrapbook. The girls will fill it with all the pictures they have taken, decorated as they wish. 3. Private Canon Camera Crash Course Do you own a Canon camera but don’t know how to use it? Are you feeling lost, but don’t have the time for a full photography course? Devorie has a workshop special for you! This private, one-on-one workshop will go through the various functions and menu on your camera, and you will finally know how to use your camera properly! 4. Need help organizing your pictures on your computer? Are your pictures disorganized, all over your desktop, or still on your memory card, but never even made it to your computer because you don’t know what to do after you snap the picture? Devorie has a two-hour mini workshop, just for you! Learn many computer functions which will help you get your pictures organized on your computer. Learn how to create folders to organize your pictures, select some or all of your pictures, download pictures from your memory card, copy and paste, order prints from your pictures, email a picture, and more! Also available: Photography Workshops for your school/party/camp/organization/Yeled Vyalda/Headstart programs. LOCATIONS: BORO PARK, FLATBUSH, WILLIAMSBURG, MONSEY, MONROE, LAKEWOOD devoriezutler.com Instagram: @photographybydevoriezutler Facebook: @devoriezutler (917) 601-7777 pixbydevorie@aol.com

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 118

MARCH 2016

u"ga, â&#x20AC;&#x2122;c rst

For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 119

MARCH 2016

u"ga, ’c rst

ALPhABeTicAL ADVerTiSer DirecTorY 613 TORAH AVENUE......................................(718) 854-3482 ................................71 A THRU Z/MOTOR VEHICLE SERVICES ......(718) 686-1405 ..................................3 A&V PRIME EXTERMINATOR........................(347) 768-4626 ................................76 AD ART PRESS ..............................................(718) 438-7200 ................................84 ALEXANDRA’S SALON AND SPA.................(718) 438-5114 ................................79 ALLSTATE INSURANCE ................................(718) 859-7900 ................................14 ALL-STATE MOTOR VEHICLES ....................(718) 436-5956 ................................83 ALWAYS ON TIME CAR SERVICE ................(212) 882-1250 ................................88 AMBIT ENERGY RN .......................................(848) 525-1810 ................................66 ARI RENT A CAR............................................(718) 513-3838....Outside Back Cover ART FLOWERS...............................................(718) 436-1691 ................................69 BETH SHIFRA.................................................(718) 449-1397 ..........................96, 97 BORO PARK AUTO BODY.............................(718) 435-5556...............................119 BORO RUG AND CARPET.............................(718) 853-3600 ................................37 BORSALINO....................................................(718) 677-0100 ................................10 BYA DAY CAMP-CK........................................(718) 339-4747 ................................82 CANDYMAN ....................................................(718) 438-5419 ................................24 CHAZAQ..........................................................(718) 285-9132 ................................34 CHESED CENTER ..........................................(347) 837-8256 ................................59 CHINA GLATT .................................................(718) 438-2576 ................................26 CIC CARPET CLEANING ...............................(718) 809-2914 ................................67 CLUB KOSHER...............................................(203) 799-7791 ..............................106 COUTURE OFF THE RACK ...........................(347) 404-7737 ..................................9 CREATIVE DECORATORS.............................(718) 633-3330 ................................48 D’ROSE LINENS .............................................(718) 854-7269 ................................93 DELUXE PASSPORT EXPRESS....................(718) 387-5441 ................................30 DEVOIRY ZUTLER..........................................(718) 421-0790 ................................49 DIET FANTASY ...............................................(855) 995-3438 ................................77 DO-ALL TRAVEL ............................................(718) 972-6000 ..................................1 DR STEVEN DAVIDOWITZ.............................(718) 376-1606 ..................................8 DR. MELINDA KELLER ..................................(718) 854-9292 ................................29 DREAMSCAPE REALTY ................................(718) 871-2250 ................................24 DVC DRYER ....................................................(347) 709-7070 ................................92 ELEGANTE ORIENTAL RUGS .......................(800) 682-9413 ................................65 EMERYL BRIDAL............................................(718) 972-1860 ................................88 ENERGY ..........................................................(908) 379-3979 ................................35 EURO HOUSE TILE AND MARBL .................(718) 339-9469 ..................................4 EUROPEAN CLOSET & CABINET ................(800) 640-2567 ................................31 EXCLUSIVE INTERIOR DECO .......................(718) 854-4890 ................................51 EXPEDITE PASSPORT...................................(718) 782-4700 ................................17 EZRAS YISROEL ............................................(718) 877-4644 ................................19 FASTPORT PASSPORT .................................(877) 910-7277 ................................76 FIT ME .............................................................(718) 375-6666 ................................75 GANEINU.........................................................(718) 377-1770 ................................36 GATEWAY DIALYSIS ......................................(718) 223-2100 ..............................118 GOLDSTEIN PRESS.......................................(718) 252-5685 ................................57 HAPPY HOME .................................................(718) 692-2442 ................................87 HATS PLUS .....................................................(718) 377-5050 ................................73 HI-TECH 2000 .................................................(718) 851-7300 ..................................6 HIGH STYLE FLOORS ...................................(718) 643-1300 ................................81 IMAGINE THAT ...............................................(973) 966-8000 ................................86 J DRUGS .........................................................(718) 258-6686 ..................................5

JN STORM WINDOWS AND DOOR...............(347) 581-6238 ..............................104 KAUFMAN’S DESIGN JEWELRY ..................(718) 871-3575 ................................15 KUPAT HA’IR...................................................(866) 221-9352 ..................................7 LAYETTE 4 LESS............................................(917) 710-2021 ................................95 LEITMAN WATCH REPAIR.............................(718) 744-7711 ................................53 LE PLACE DE SIMONE..................................(718) 252-3863 ................................22 LIFT ASSIST....................................................(866) 556-5438 ................................73 M.KLINGER APPLIANCE REPAIR.................(718) 871-7637 ................................74 MALCHUT JUDAICA ......................................(718) 854-7700...............................113 MANHATTAN BEACH JEWISH CENTER ......(718) 975-4880 ......Inside Front Cover MATERNICHIC MATERNITY ..........................(718) 258-6193 ................................95 MEAL MART OF AVE M .................................(718) 998-0800 ................................72 MEIR KESSLER,RPA-C ..................................(718) 252-9066 ................................13 MILA’S WIGS ..................................................(718) 437-1001 ................................89 MILLER’LOCKSMITH .....................................(347) 613-0546 ................................94 MOFIT ..............................................................(347) 439-7760 ................................78 MOISHY KLEIN ONE MAN BAND..................(347) 244-0318 ..............................107 MORAH RIVKY PLAY-GROUP .......................(718) 926-9318 ..............................103 MR. CLEAN .....................................................(347) 369-3051 ................................16 MR. WHEAT.....................................................(347) 663-1100...............................110 MUSIC ON THE GO ........................................(917) 519-9166...............................119 NOSH EXPRESS.............................................(718) 677-3600 ................................84 ON TIME CARPET CLEANING ......................(516) 403-3602 ................................75 PLAZA AUTO LEASING .................................(718) 975-9000 ................................20 PRECIOUS VISION .........................................(347) 533-6050 ................................58 PRESTIGE SHOES .........................................(718) 338-3881 ................................68 PURE CLEAN INSPECTIONS ........................(718) 436-5800 ................................85 QUALITY CARPET..........................................(718) 941-4200 ................................99 RENAH APPLIANCE REPAIR ........................(718) 694-0900 ..............................100 SANDALS LEGACY........................................(845) 662-4151 ................................91 SILVER WHEELS ............................................(718) 360-9420 ................................23 SLEEPTIGHT BEDDING.................................(718) 438-3933...............................114 SMILING HERBS.............................................(347) 546-2792 ................................41 SUPER SEWER...............................................(718) 419-1355 ................................42 SURGICAL SOCK SHOP II.............................(718) 436-7880 ................................28 TABLE PADS...................................................(917) 776-7371 ................................44 THE WINE BARREL .......................................(718) 436-1031 ................................18 THE WINERY...................................................(718) 436-3323 ................................11 THREE STAR STUDIO....................................(718) 376-1922 ................................64 TIP TOP ...........................................................(718) 853-5100 ..................................2 TRAFFIC VIOLATIONS ...................................(917) 988-5800 ................................80 TUVIA’S JUDAICA ..........................................(845) 426-0824 ......Inside Back Cover TZIVIAS JEWELRY .........................................(718) 633-0927 ..............................103 WHOOPI ..........................................................(718) 853-5411...............................116 WILLIAMSBURG SEWING & VACUUM.........(718) 384-0851 ................................45 YITZCHAK WEISSMAN ..................................(347) 522-3272 ................................12 YOSEF SHPIEL...............................................(347) 534-0821 ................................25 YOUR TOP PRIORITY ....................................(718) 853-1576 ................................13 ZELDA’S ART WORLD ...................................(718) 377-7779 ................................39

Thank you for mentioning Country Yossi when patronizing our advertisers For Magazine or Radio Advertising Call: (718) 851-2010 120