CY Family Mag #197 by Country Yossi

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Message From the Publisher Hi Everybody, As we begin our 28th year of publication we would like to take this opportunity to thank Hashem once again for all His abundant kindness and blessing over these many years. We also would like to acknowledge our loyal advertisers, many of whom have been with us for decades. We appreciate your trust and friendship and may Hashem continue to bless you with bracha, v’hatzlacha, gezunt and parnassah! And to you, our faithful readers, I raise my kos in gratitude and proclaim ‘L’chaim!’ As the pleasing scent of shmura matzah tantalizes our taste buds, our thoughts turn to the Sedorim, Chol Hamoed and… Yerachmiel Begun and the Miami Boys Choir! This year’s spectacular promises to be the best one ever! Besides featuring the aforementioned big 2, the unique program also features special guest stars and exciting feature presentations - all accompanied by an 18piece Shirainu orchestra that will have the place rocking! The concert will take place on Wednesday evening, April 4, Chol Hamoed at 7:45pm at Brooklyn College. But if for some unfathomable reason you are unable to attend, Yerachmiel has arranged for you to be able to watch and experience it live from the comfort of your home! Read all about this amazing new

groundbreaking technology and the upcoming concert right here! Upon contemplating my 27 years in the publishing world I decided to take pen in cholent-stained hand and share some experiences that helped shape who I am. In “Reflections on a Milestone Birthday,” I explain why it’s a miracle I’m alive and in “Rendezvous on the Verrazano” I wonder aloud at the Hashgacha Prutis that governs our lives. With the frigid, snowy winter behind us (watch this! We get socked by a spring blizzard) we present a jawdropping collection of snow photos that you gotta see to believe! See our pictorial essay buried under six feet of snow somewhere in the magazine! Is it ok to break your child’s computer? Read what the caffeine addicts in the Yeshiva World News Coffee Room have to say. With U.S./Israeli relations starting to spiral rather precipitously downwards, we feature some stark warnings from three astute observers of the political scene: Charles Krauthammer, Michael Goodwin and Heshy Walfish (not necessarily in that order)! Wishing you all a Chag Kosher V’sameach! Your still chometzdiker friend,

Country Yossi

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ISSUE 197

“New York’s Premier Jewish Magazine”

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“Some people thirst after fame, some after honor and some after money, but all thirst after salted peanuts!” – CY

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Table of Contents

Volume 28 Number 1

LET’S SHMOOZE ...................................................................................................................................................................................37 SPOTLIGHT • Air Power Creations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 • Easy Flow: Little One’s Serenity, Mother’s Best Remedy, by Chaya Sara Schlussel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84 • Brooklyn Sports Shop: Great Gear, For Your Get Up and Go! by Chaya Sara Schlussel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 • Kivi and Tuki: Count Your Blessings, by Chaya Sara Schlussel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 OPINION • Netanyahu’s Churchillian Warning, by Charles Krauthammer . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50 • Israel: Beware of Obama, by Michael Goodwin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

SOUND OFF • Saving It For Moshiach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52 INSPIRATION.........................................................................................................................................................................................54 TORAH • In Pursuit of Chometz, by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60 • The Short Vort: Surprise Hospital Visit, by Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66 TIMELINE ................................................................................................................................................................................................74 REAL LIFE • Rendezvous on the Verrazano, by Country Yossi Toiv. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78 • Reflections on a Milestone Birthday, by Country Yossi Toiv . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80

PICTORIAL ESSAY ...............................................................................................................................................................................90 HEALTH AND ADVICE • Dr. D . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 • Dear Bubby . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94 ISRAEL • A Dumb Passover for a Sore-Losing President, by Dov Shurin . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98 CONTROVERSY • YWN Coffee Room: Does a Parent Have a Right to Break a Computer? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

JEWISH BOOKS • Top 10 in Jewish Books . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 103 JEWISH MUSIC • Top 3 in Jewish Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106 • CY Songbook: Hashem is the One . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 HUMOR • The Art of Pesach Food Shopping, by Chaptzem. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 • Can’t You Just Plotz . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 • Home Alone, by Kayla Kuchleffel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117 AROUND TOWN • Rabbi Shmuel Kunda z’l: Dus Vinderliche Yarmulke . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

COUNTRY YOSSI FAMILY MAGAZINE • 1310 48th Street, Suite 304 • Brooklyn, New York 11219 Telephone: (718) 851-2010 • Email Address: country@countryyossi.com COPYRIGHT © 2015 - Country Yossi Family Magazine, Inc. All rights reserved. Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for unsolicited submissions. Unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, and other submitted materials must be accompanied by a stamped self-addressed envelope. We reserve the right to print all letters in part or in full unless specifically requested otherwise. No articles, photographs, artwork or other material in this magazine may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever, without prior written permission of the publisher. Country Yossi Family Magazine will not be responsible for typographical errors or advertisers’ claims.

Cover Design: R.A. Stone

website: www.countryyossi.com Follow countryyossi on Twitter

Interior Layout: H. Walfish

S P O T L I G H T

CRITICIZING THE ORTHODOX Dear Country Yossi, I was shown an article in your March 2015 issue by a Rabbi Brenner Glickman, “A Story of Persistence,” concerning the tragedy of Alisa Flatow a”h. I was piqued, to say the least, that the entire Orthodox community was criticized for not donating organs for transplanting; something that Conservative and Reform rabbis have always encouraged their constituents to do. He claims that the reluctance of the Orthodox was because of the tradition of burying a body whole. The article is an insult to our community and to our intelligence! The writer obviously doesn’t know the basis of the prohibition (indeed) to do so! My chagrin behooved me to try to contact the rabbi and admonish him. When I discovered he is a Reform rabbi in Florida I decided instead to commend your magazine for publishing a “First” in polemic literature - a Reform rabbi criticizing the Orthodox for hesitating to do a Mitzvah which is required by Jewish law. Little does he know that the reluctance of Chareidi Jewry to do this “Mitzvah” is not because they are insensitive to the Mitzvah of Pikuach Nefesh! In fact, the Chareidim are the ones who have established Hatzalah groups where it was feasible - something that the Reform and Conservative groups haven’t done! Transplants were prohibited

by many outstanding Halachists, among them Rav Y.S. Eliashiv zt’l and Rav S.Z. Auerbach zt”l, because they considered “brain death” an oxymoron and felt that removing a live person from a life maintaining machine is an act of murder! Since the prohibition against murder is still recognized by Reform and Conservative groups,

why shouldn’t they too be cautious regarding transplants? May I respectfully suggest you have someone read the articles you plan to publish! Name withheld upon request Dear Name withheld: So sorry that one slipped by. We’ll definitely be more careful in the future. CY

CHAMETZ GEMACH Dear Country Yossi, My name is Yitzchak Relkin. Every year between Purim and Pesach, I run a Chametz Gemach. This is the sixth year. I collect and sell the chametz before Pesach. After, I distribute it to families in financial need. It began a few days before Pesach five years ago. As I made my way to work, a sanitation worker and I nearly collided on the sidewalk as he called out to his co-worker, who was maneuvering their vehicle. Caught off guard, he yelled to me over the noise of the truck, “What’s up with all the food the Jews are throwing away? Good food, too!” His concern wasn’t baal tashchis but the increase in refuse he was being forced to haul. Even though he had spoken out of frustration, his question was still a good one, and I had wondered about it myself. Nothing in life is coincidental. I took his (His) message to heart, and that year I started a gemach for chametz. Before Pesach every year, families discard chametz as they clean their homes getting ready for the holiday. Sometimes the food goes to the hired help. More often, though, it winds up wasted. It is a shame because the groceries - many non-perishable - could just as easily have been given after Pesach to families that are struggling financially. During the first two years of the gemach, the response to my

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offer to collect, sell, and then distribute the chametz after Pesach at no charge to anyone was modest. The past two years alone, however, I have collected and redistributed over 5,500 pounds of food to Yiddishe families struggling financially. And I am working alone. I realize, however, that even those 5,500 pounds is only a small portion of the food being discarded. Or, put more bluntly, outright wasted. So if your minhag is to have no chametz in your house at all during Pesach, please don’t throw it out on the street. Instead, please consider donating that food to my chametz gemach. Once you give it to me, it becomes my responsibility to sell it halachically and then to distribute it after Pesach. Those who receive it - including kollel yungerleit and others struggling to get by - need it and definitely appreciate it. Believe me, you will be easing their financial burden. I am hoping that you’ll consider a food drop-off as part of your Pesach cleaning. I am also accepting donations to purchase supplies or even extra food. I can be reached by phone or by email. Please put “Chametz Gemach” in the subject line. I can accept donations till Sunday, April 2nd. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. Yitzchak Relkin 718.377.6361 yitzchak@relkin.com

E-WASTE Dear Country Yossi, Are you aware that in New York City, as of January 1st 2015, it is illegal to dispose of E-Waste in your curbside garbage? You may be wondering, what exactly is ‘E-Waste?’ This category includes all types of electronic items, such as: TV’s, computers, hard drives, laptops, monitors, servers, phones, radios, CD players, VCR’s, entertainment systems, and even power cords! The new regulations require that you bring all of your E-Waste to a certified drop-off center, OR that you use a licensed recycling hauler such as LionCage Data Security Solutions, to dispose of your E-Waste. Each occurrence of putting out E-Waste at curbside may result in a $100 fine!

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Don’t risk getting these fines! This is a new city regulation that you may not yet have heard or read about elsewhere. Don’t wait to find a ticket on your door or in your mailbox to learn about the enforcement of this new rule. YWN email

THE DONATION Dear Country Yossi, I recently had occasion to daven one Shabbos morning in a very exclusive Sephardic shul. Located in a luxury condominium in Turnberry, the synagogue was tastefully decorated in various shades of middle-eastern green; the carpeting, the chairs, even the walls. It was home to some very wealthy and prominent business people. I had been invited there by a Sephardic friend of mine who promised I would find it different - and he was right! From the minute I walked in I was struck by the silence and decorum. In the shul where I usually davened, well, never mind… After a beautiful Shacharit they began the laining of the Torah. I was absorbed in reading my Artscroll Chumash when I heard something that made me stop and look up. The man they had called up for an aliyah had just donated $10,000 to the rabbi, $10,000 to the baal koreh and $10,000 to the chazzan! I cleared my throat rather loudly, hoping he would notice me, but no such luck! I shook my head in disbelief and continued looking in my Chumash when suddenly I was approached by the gabbai. He asked me my name and proceeded to loudly call me up for an aliyah. When I was done he made me a mishebairach and asked me how much I would like to contribute to the synagogue! Not wanting to appear cheap but also preferring not to over-extend myself, I replied “Chai!” I knew it wasn’t a lot but that’s what everybody gave in my shteeble and anyway, this shul didn’t need my money. But a big smile broke out on his face as he called out “Chai elef, chazak u’baruch!” Immediately, the whole congregation lined up to shake my hand shouting “Chazak u’baruch,” “Kol

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hakavod,” “Tizku l’mitzvot” and other such exclamations of approval and admiration. The rabbi hugged me, the chazzan pinched my cheek and even the billionaire philanthropist stood up and patted me on the back. I wasn’t sure what the gabbai had said but I assumed they were very appreciative of any contribution, no matter how small. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I got back to my seat and my Sephardic friend whispered, with a dumb smirk on his face, that I had just

contributed $18,000 to the shul! I was appalled. My face turned as green as the décor! I left that shul and never returned! I hear they’re still looking for me… Received via email

WHEN WE WERE LED Dear Country Yossi, When we were led into the gas chambers, they said nothing. When we were forcibly converted, they said nothing.

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When we were thrown out of a country just for being Jews, they said nothing. BUT when we now defend ourselves, all of a sudden THEY have something to say. How did we take our revenge on the Germans for their Final Solution? How did we take revenge on the Spanish for their Inquisition? How did we take revenge on Islam for being Dhimmis? How did we take revenge on the lies of the Protocols of Zion? We studied our Torah. We innovated in medicine. We innovated in defense systems. We innovated in technology. We innovated in agriculture. We made music. We wrote poetry. We made the desert bloom. We won Nobel prizes. We founded the movie industry. We financed democracy. We fulfilled the word of Hashem by becoming a light unto the nations of the Earth. DEAR WORLD, when they criticize us for defending our heritage and our ancestral homeland - we, the Jews of the world, do exactly what they did. WE IGNORE THEM. They have proven to us for the last 2,000 years that when the chips are down, indifference reigns supreme. Now leave us alone - and go sort out your own backyard while we continue our 4,000-year-old mission of enhancing the world we share. Sincerely, A 92-year-old survivor

AN ETHIOPIAN JEW’S JOURNEY TO ISRAEL Dear Country Yossi, It was a whirlwind trip to a conference in Israel. I was running on very little sleep and meeting all sorts of interesting people. I had just spoken to a woman - an only child - who had lost both of her parents before her 30th birthday. Then another woman explained how her father, with whom she was estranged, had become very sick. It was all very emotional, but I was holding it together despite my exhaustion.

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I then moved on to a new group and the topic of aliyah (moving to Israel) came up. I mentioned that my family was thinking of making aliyah but that we hadn’t worked out jobs yet and weren’t exactly sure how we’d do it. Suddenly, a woman who had been sitting off to the side piped up and asked me to join her, so I did. “I want to tell you a story,” she began in a quiet voice. Her English was broken, as Hebrew was her native tongue. “My family came from Ethiopia. But all our lives we prayed daily to return to Jerusalem. So one day, our entire village picked up and decided to go. We didn’t have a plane or a boat to take - so we walked. “It was a very dangerous trip,” she continued. “I was three at the time. There wasn’t much food and during the daylight we had to hide, lest bandits find us and kill us along the way. “Three thousand of us set out for the journey to the Holy Land, but half of us died during our travels - including my mother.” The tears that I had been trying to hold back began streaming down my cheeks. “Living in Israel is not easy for me either,” she explained. “Finding work is hard for me too. And there’s racism that I face being Ethiopian.” “But how can I leave?” she asked me. “How can I walk away when my family sacrificed so much to be here, to return to this land?” I cried and cried as I felt the pain of her loss, and through my sobs I attempted to speak. “All of us Jews have a responsibility to Israel, but your sacrifice was too great. You took on more than your fair share of our national burden,” I said as I wept. “I don’t know when and I don’t know how, but one day my family will also return.” Received via email

cake. As long as I mentioned it, my favorite gift is a tie. I go through so many ties; I can always use another one. The yetzer hara knows that the father/son relationship will get a boost from this Father’s day card, so he works overtime scheming how to get all the kids to forget to send one. One big successful idea of his is to plant in their heads the idea that “He doesn’t need a card, he knows I love him.” That is not true. He doesn’t know for sure, but if you go through the whole process of sending one, then you’ve

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proven your sincere feelings towards him. Once Father’s day passes it’s not the same to receive the card, because after the letdown of not getting it in time he will open the late card with sadness in his heart and say to himself, “My child forgot about me. He\she remembered me too late.” Another trap of the yetzer hara is that he knows the stores put away the Father’s day cards right after the holiday. So he tells the child “If you come to the store one day late you won’t even have a late card to send, and then you’ll have an excuse

MY FAVORITE CARD Dear Country Yossi, A favorite card for me is the Father’s Day Card. It means so much to me because it means that the kids took the time to get a card, find a pen, buy a stamp and bring it to the post office. That takes a lot of time and energy. A gift along with it is just icing on the

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for not sending one at all.” That would be devastating for a father. It may even produce tears down the father’s face, as he thinks: “It’s Thursday after Father’s Day and I still don’t have a card from my boy.” One year I was desperate after receiving no cards from any of my six kids, so I asked my son to print one up on his printer, which he did. It was simply a picture of a blue tie and it read ‘Happy Father’s Day from all of us.’ Although it was a big bidieved, I hung it up and looked at it for a while and wondered if I could be a better father. True, it is hard to be a really good father. But I will keep trying! N.W. Crown Heights

WHAT DID YOU DO FOR ME? Dear Country Yossi, Hakaras Hatov - appreciation - is one of the most needed qualities a person must have. So many people do so much for us and therefore we need to constantly have appreciation for them, even if we enjoyed their help long ago. We learn this from Avraham Avinu, who recognized Hashem for all that He did for him since the age of three. Avraham was always ready to give his life for Hashem, even though there was no direct contact until age 75. We start our lives indebted to our parents, then to our older siblings and then to our teachers and friends and eventually our spouses. All that training needs to reinforce our feelings of gratitude toward these people. We should look for ways to reciprocate. To easily forget the help of others and expect more kindness from them is a sign that work is needed by us to value what others do for us. This idea is gleaned from the popular song “Dayeinu,” which we sing at the seder. The song expresses klal Yisroel’s feelings of indebtedness at every stage of the Exodus. There is a big difference between helping someone do what he/she could do themselves, and helping with something that the person would not be able to do alone. The second example of chesed goes so much further because you are needed in a very big way. For instance, you come as a guest to some-

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one’s house and you help them set the table and serve. That’s nice, but not too big of a deal. If you would come Friday afternoon, when the rush to the finish line at shkia is in full swing, and ask what needs to be done, then you would be called a lifesaver. People don’t often do that because it’s too hard to give your own precious time on erev Shabbos and Yom Tov. But giving that time to them is real chesed and it is an expression of real appreciation. N.G. Boro Park

LESSONS OF THE HOLOCAUST Dear Country Yossi, Somebody asked Menachem Begin what he thought the lessons of the Holocaust are. He answered as follows: “I believe the lessons of the Holocaust are these: First, if an enemy of our people says he seeks to destroy us, believe him. Don’t doubt him for a moment. Don’t make light of it. Do all in your power to deny him the means of carrying out his satanic intent. (Note: one month later, Begin dispatched Israel’s Air Force to destroy the Iraqi nuclear facility at Osirak.) Second, when a Jew anywhere in the world is threatened or under attack, do all in your power to come to his aid. Never pause to wonder what the world will think or say. The world will never pity slaughtered Jews. The world may not necessarily like the fighting Jew, but the world will have to take account of him. Third, a Jew must learn to defend himself. He must forever be prepared for whenever threat looms. Fourth, Jewish dignity and honor must be protected in all circumstances. The seeds of Jewish destruction lie in passively enabling the enemy to humiliate us. Only when the enemy succeeds in turning the spirit of the Jew into dust and ashes in life, can he turn the Jew into dust and ashes in death. During the Holocaust it was after the enemy had humiliated the Jews, trampled them underfoot, divided them, deceived them, afflicted them, drove brother against brother - only then could he lead them, almost without resistance, to the gates of Auschwitz. Therefore, at all times and whatever the cost, safeguard the dignity and honor of the Jewish people. Fifth, stand united in the face of the enemy. We Jews love life, because life is holy. But there are things in life more precious than life itself. There are times when one must risk life for the sake of rescuing the lives of others. And when the few risk their own lives for the sake of the many then they, too, stand the chance of saving themselves. Sixth, there is a pattern to Jewish history. In our long annals as a nation, we rise, we fall, we return, we are exiled, we are enslaved, we rebel, we liberate ourselves, we are oppressed once more, we rebuild, and again we suffer destruction, climaxing in our own lifetime in the calamity of calamities, the Holocaust, followed by the rebirth of the Jewish State. So, yes, we have come full circle, and with G-d’s help, with the rebirth of sovereign Israel we have finally broken the historic cycle: no more destruction and no more defeats, and no more oppression - only Jewish liberty, with dignity and honor. These, I believe, are the underlying lessons to be learned from the unspeakable tragedy of the Holocaust.” Received via email

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O P I N I O N

NETANYAHU’S CHURCHILLIAN WARNING LIKE CHURCHILL, WILL NETANYAHU ALSO BE IGNORED? BY CHARLES KRAUTHAMMER

enjamin Netanyahu’s address to Congress was notable in two respects. Queen Esther got her first standing ovation in 2,500 years. And President Obama came up empty in his campaign to preemptively undermine Netanyahu before the Israeli prime minister could present his case on the Iran negotiations. On the contrary. The steady stream of slights and insults turned an irritant into an international event and vastly increased the speech’s audience and reach. Instead of dramatically unveiling an Iranian nuclear deal as a fait accompli, Obama must now first defend his Iranian diplomacy. In particular, argues The Post, he must defend its fundamental premise. It had been the policy of every president since 1979 that Islamist Iran must be sanctioned and contained. Obama, however, is betting instead on detente to tame Iran’s aggressive behavior and nuclear ambitions. For six years, Obama has offered the mullahs an extended hand. He has imagined that with Kissingerian brilliance he would turn the Khamenei regime into a de facto U.S. ally in pacifying the Middle East. For his pains, Obama has been rewarded with an Iran that has ramped up its aggressiveness in Iraq, Syria, Lebanon, Gaza and Yemen, and brazenly defied the world on uranium enrichment. He did the same with Russia. He offered Vladimir Putin a new detente. “Reset,” he called it. Putin responded by decimating his domestic opposition, unleashing a vicious anti-American propaganda campaign, ravaging Ukraine and shaking the post-Cold War European order to its foundations.

Like the Bourbons, however, Obama learns nothing. He persists in believing that Iran’s radical Islamist regime can be turned by sweet reason and fine parchment into a force for stability. It’s akin to his refusal to face the true nature of the Islamic State, Iran’s Sunni counterpart. He simply can’t believe that such people actually believe what they say. That’s what made Netanyahu’s critique of the U.S.-Iran deal so powerful. Especially his dissection of the sunset clause. In about 10 years, the deal expires. Sanctions are lifted and Iran is permitted unlimited uranium enrichment with an unlimited number of centrifuges of unlimited sophistication. As the Wall Street Journal’s Bret Stephens points out, we don’t even allow that for democratic South Korea. The prime minister offered a concrete alternative. Sunset? Yes, but only after Iran changes its behavior, giving up its regional aggression and worldwide support for terror. Netanyahu’s veiled suggestion was that such a modification - plus a significant reduction in Iran’s current nuclear infrastructure, which the Obama deal leaves intact - could produce a deal that “Israel and its [Arab] neighbors may not like, but with which we could live, literally.” Obama’s petulant response was: “The prime minister didn’t offer any viable alternatives.” But he just did: conditional sunset, smaller infrastructure. And if the Iranians walk away, then you ratchet up sanctions, as Congress is urging, which, with collapsed oil prices, would render the regime extremely vulnerable. And if that doesn’t work? Hence Netanyahu’s final point: Israel is pre-

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pared to stand alone, a declaration that was met with enthusiastic applause reflecting widespread popular support. In its near-70 year history, Israel has never once asked America to fight for it. It was an important moment, especially because of the libel being perpetrated by some that Netanyahu is trying to get America to go to war with Iran. This is as malicious a calumny as Charles Lindbergh’s charge on Sept. 11, 1941, that “the three most important groups who have been pressing this country toward war are the British, the Jewish and the Roosevelt administration.” In its near-70 year history, Israel has never once asked America to fight for it. Not in 1948 when 650,000 Jews faced 40 million Arabs. Not in 1967 when Israel was being encircled and strangled by three Arab armies. Not in 1973 when Israel was on the brink of destruction. Not in the three Gaza wars or the two Lebanon wars. Compare that to a very partial list of nations for which America has fought and for which so many Americans have fallen: Kuwait, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Vietnam, Korea, and every West European country beginning with France (twice). Change the deal, strengthen the sanctions, give Israel a free hand. Netanyahu offered a different path in his clear, bold and often moving address, Churchillian in its appeal to resist appeasement. This was not Churchill of the 1940s, but Churchill of the 1930s, the wilderness prophet. Which is why for all its sonorous strength, Netanyahu’s speech had a terrible poignancy. After all, Churchill was ignored.

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SOUND OFF

SAVING IT FOR MOSHIACH

rowing up as a kid I was always led to believe that Jews are the biggest baalei tzedaka in the world. But as I got older I realized that might not be true. Jews as a whole give more charity than any other nationality, but dollar-wise that might not be true. The concept of charity and maaser is engrained in every Jewish heart, but that does not mean Jews are giving as much as they could. Over the past 10 years a number of people have become enormously wealthy. People who were millionaires before have become multi-millionaires, and many multi-millionaires have become billionaires. We hear the government speak about the 1%, meaning that 1% of the population control about 50% of the entire wealth of the country. The divide between the mega-rich and the middle class and poor is vast and only getting bigger. Among these 1% are also a number of frum Yidden who have amassed fortunes worth billions of dollars, but we haven’t seen this wealth being spent when it comes to giving charity. We hear about these hedge fund managers giving $100 million to their alma mater, or the founders of highly successful dotcom companies giving away hundreds of millions of dollars to their favorite charities. But when was the last time you heard about a Yid donating even $10 million to their favorite charity? And when was the last time you heard of a rich Yid leaving hundreds of millions of dollars to tzedaka upon their death? When a young askin recently got up at a yeshiva dinner and pledged $1 million towards the yeshiva he fully expected other wealthy donors to follow suit. But instead all he heard was silence. When he tried to set up a matching

program where he would match every dollar people donated towards a mosed, up to $3 million, he was met with cold stares from other wealthy individuals who felt he was trying to show them up. You don’t have to be a genius or a great mathematician to realize that there is enough wealth among the frum community that there should be no aniyos in our midst; there should not be hundreds of yungerleit out of jobs or parents having to work 3 or 4 jobs just to pay yeshiva tuition and summer camps. We should not need to have Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshivos running around the world for weeks on end collecting money for their mosdos instead of being with their families, kehillos and talmidim… if only our 1percenters were giving their fair share. I am not saying these individuals are not giving tzedaka. Of course they are. But they are not giving enough or they are giving their money to non-worthy causes. For example, we have people spending millions of dollars fixing up old shuls in Poland, Hungary and Romania that will be barely used while kids in Yerushalayim sit in overcrowded, dinghy and dirty classrooms because there is no money for anything better. We have huge, fancy shuls being built in Brooklyn that can barely scrape together a minyan, while worthy mosdos such as Tomche Shabbos get more requests for help every week - but fewer donations. We have people buying apartments in Yerushalayim for hundreds of millions of dollars that they use once or twice a year, while kollel families living a couple of blocks away barely have food to eat. We have wealthy individuals who want to curry favors with their Rav so they build them beautiful mansions to live in while members of their kehilla are in foreclo-

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sure because they can’t pay their mortgage due to the high cost of being a frum Yid. We have individuals spending millions of dollars on weddings and bar/bat mitzvas while Rabbonim, kollel yungerleit and melamdim owe thousands of dollars to their local grocers and butchers because of the meager, non-livable salaries they are paid. And we have people spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on their Pesach vacations in Hawaii, or Spain or Bermuda while kids are being kicked out of yeshivas because their parents can’t afford to pay tuition because they can barely afford to pay for the bare necessities of Pesach. Why is this happening? The simple answer is that many of these rich individuals are lacking in emunah and are holding on to their wealth as much as possible for the rainy day. But even more so; we have become so materialdriven that our quest for more material matters is never satiated. Our present generation is missing the Montefiores or the Moshe Reichmans who realized that their tremendous wealth was nothing more than a gift from Hashem for them to help other Yidden. They fail to realize that they are nothing more than the caretakers of these fortunes to distribute to worthy causes. We do have a few individuals who have tried. But most of our generation is too busy hoarding more and more material goods, setting up trust funds and foundations to shelter their wealth instead of building up their zechusim for the next world. Yes, I know all the excuses: My money is not liquid, it’s mortgaged, it’s not the right time to sell, I am saving it for my great, great, great grandchildren… All these excuses will only go so far. But if we really want Moshiach to come - and I have my doubts that these really rich individuals want Moshiach - we should all change our attitude and stop thinking of only ourselves but rather about how we can help other Yidden in need. If you’d like to “Sound Off” please send your submissions to: SOUND OFF c/o Country Yossi Family Magazine 1310 48th Street, Suite 308 Brooklyn, New York 11219 Submisssions should preferably be type-written, double-spaced and should not exceed 850 words.

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Inspiration Sweeping By Chaya Sara Schlussel

riday afternoon, amid the hustle, bustle and hectic hullabaloo of erev Shabbos preparation, I asked my three year old to sweep the dining room floor. No, I don’t usually enlist the help of underage children to carry out such oversized tasks, but in this case, I made an exception. Shimmy kept constantly getting underfoot while I tried valiantly to cook soup, bake challah, wash dishes and tidy up the kitchen in time for the 4:15 shkiah. He came asking me first to play UNO with him, then to read him a book, and then to take him outside, until finally my patience started to wear dangerously thin. So, in a moment of inspiration, I got this idea that would keep him productively occupied, while I silenced my craving for a delicious slice of peace and quiet. I handed him the broom and gave him his work orders: Sweep the dining room floor. He was more than happy to comply and quickly set out toward our 500-square-feet of parquet. Our dining room is shaped like an ‘L’ with the table and chairs taking up its alphabetical length, and a threepiece set of faux leather couches rounding out its width. There’s a multicolored throw rug taking center stage in front of these couches, topped by a small coffee table which my family irreverently uses in lieu of a footstool. I knew the job was bigger than the kid. Which is why I wanted to see how he would manage it. So I peeled a potato, and kept my eyes peeled toward Shimmy. I poked at the challah and peeked at my boy, spic and spanned the counters while spying and spotting

on my son. It was a very interesting scene. For the first few minutes, Shimmy just stood in the center of the room, scratching his head in obvious bewilderment. I guess he was figuring out exactly how to begin. Since the broom was roughly twice his size, he had a hard time getting a handle on it. Initially, he wrapped both hands around the broom and pushed it back and forth in front of him like a blind man with a walking stick. He quickly realized that wasn’t working, so he switched position and straddled the broom like a witch about to fly off to Never Never Land with a magic spell and a pocket full of pixie dust. After another few minutes of adjustment, he eventually figured out how to get a proper grip on his tool, and began gathering dust motes into some semi-decent semblance of a pile. Of course, there was no orderliness involved in the task. It wasn’t like he started at one end of the room and worked efficiently toward the other. Instead, he just haphazardly scraped together a few crumbs from here, a few specks from there, and a few more flecks from thither and yon. He didn’t bend down and sweep under the couches or between the chair legs. He just went right around them, without even pausing to consider making the effort. He just wanted to get the job done and be finished with it. After a few minutes of zig-zag, criss-cross sweeping, Shimmy managed to collect a small mound of dirt in the center of the room. Then he went to get the shovel. Holding the broom in one hand and the

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shovel in the other proved to be rather cumbersome for my little tyke. He couldn’t seem to balance both of these objects at once while bending down far enough to scoop the dust into the pan. Each time he bent over to straighten the shovel, he dropped the broom. Then, when he stood up and balanced the broom, he couldn’t reach the handle of the shovel. I watched in amusement at his quandary. Five minutes into this ordeal, Shimmy gave up. He stood up, pondering the situation. He put the shovel down. Then he lifted the corner of our throw rug, took hold of the broom and swept everything underneath it; crumbs, flecks, specks and all. I couldn’t help but giggle out loud. Shimmy looked up quickly, saw me spying on him, and grinned from ear to ear like a little rascal. “Not bad,” I said to him with a smile and a wink. ‘Not bad’ was good enough for him. Mission accomplished, he promptly scampered off to his room to play. I turned back to my erev Shabbos preparations, laughing inwardly at my son’s impishness. But then I realized something I’d never taken note of before. I, a supposedly mature adult, often act very similarly to my knee-high little boy. How often must Hashem look at the way I do mitzvos, and wonder at my childishness. At my age, such shoddy, halfhearted work is no longer cute. I daven every morning, but do I really do a thorough job of it? Do I ‘sweep’ each prayer with precision toward the center of the world, toward the kisei hakovod, or do I just gather the words haphazardly - a few mumbles Continued on Page 119

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APRIL 2015

O P I N I O N

ISRAEL:

BEWARE OF OBAMA

irst he comes for the banks and health care, uses the IRS to go after critics, politicizes the Justice Department, spies on journalists, tries to curb religious freedom, slashes the military, throws open the borders, doubles the debt and nationalizes the Internet. He lies to the public, ignores the Constitution, inflames race relations and urges Latinos to punish Republican “enemies.” He abandons our allies, appeases tyrants, coddles adversaries and uses the Crusades as an excuse for inaction as Islamist terrorists slaughter their way across the Mideast. Now he’s coming for Israel. Barack Obama’s promise to transform America was too modest. He is transforming the whole world before our eyes. Do you see it yet? Against the backdrop of the tsunami of trouble he has unleashed, Obama’s pledge to “reassess” America’s relationship with Israel cannot be taken lightly. Already paving the way for an Iranian nuke, he is hinting he’ll also let the other anti-Semites at Turtle Bay have their way. That could mean American support for punitive Security Council resolutions or for Palestinian statehood initiatives. It could mean both, or something worse. Whatever form the punishment takes, it will aim to teach Bibi Netanyahu never again to upstage him.

By Michael Goodwin

And to teach Israeli voters never again to elect somebody Obama doesn’t like. Apologists and wishful thinkers, including some Jews, insist Obama realizes that the special relationship between Israel and the United States must prevail and that allowing too much daylight between friends will encourage enemies. Those people are slow learners, or, more dangerously, denyists. If Obama’s six years in office teach us anything, it is that he is impervious to appeals to good sense. Quite the contrary. Even respectful suggestions from supporters that he behave in the traditions of American presidents fill him with angry determination to do it his way. For Israel, the consequences will be intended. Those who make excuses for Obama’s policy failures - naive, bad advice, bad luck - have not come to grips with his dark impulses and deep-seated rage. His visceral dislike for Netanyahu is genuine, but also serves as a convenient fig leaf for his visceral dislike of Israel. The fact that it’s personal with Netanyahu doesn’t explain six years of trying to bully Israelis into signing a suicide pact with Muslims bent on destroying them. Netanyahu’s only sin is that he puts his nation’s security first and refuses to knuckle under to Obama’s endless demands for unilateral concessions. That refusal is now the excuse to

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act against Israel. Consider that, for all the upheaval around the world, the president rarely has a cross word for, let alone an open dispute with, any other foreign leader. He calls Great Britain’s David Cameron “bro” and praised Egypt’s Muslim Brotherhood president, Mohammed Morsi, who had called Zionists “the descendants of apes and pigs.” Obama asked Vladimir Putin for patience, promising “more flexibility” after the 2012 election, a genuflection that earned him Russian aggression. His Asian pivot was a head fake, and China is exploiting the vacuum. None of those leaders has gotten the Netanyahu treatment, which included his being forced to use the White House back door on one trip, and the cold shoulder on another. It is a clear and glaring double standard. Most troubling is Obama’s bended-knee deference to Iran’s Supreme Leader, which has been repaid with “Death to America” and “Death to Israel” demonstrations in Tehran and expanded Iranian military action in other countries. The courtship reached the height of absurdity last week, when Obama wished Iranians a happy Persian new year by equating Republican critics of his nuclear deal with the resistance of theocratic hard-liners, saying both “oppose a diplomatic solution.” That is a damnable slur given that a top American military official estimates that Iranian weapons, proxies and trainers killed 1,500 US soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan. Who in their right mind would trust such an evil regime with a nuke? Yet Netanyahu, the leader of our only reliable ally in the region, is repeatedly singled out for abuse. He alone is the target of an orchestrated attempt to defeat him at the polls, with Obama political operatives, funded in part by American taxpayers, working to elect his opponent. They failed and Netanyahu prevailed because Israelis see him as their best bet to protect them. Their choice was wise, but they’d better buckle up because it’s Israel’s turn to face the wrath of Obama. Originally appeared in the NY Post

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In Pursuit of Chometz by Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss

nce again, we embark on the gigantic task of cleaning our homes of leaven, searching in earnest every nook and cranny of our possessions for those forbidden crumbs! It behooves us to understand why, during this season, we pursue so feverishly that which the rest of the year is an essential staple of our lives and the subject of which we bless Hashem in Birchas Hamozon by saying that He sustains His world with goodness (referring to bread)!? The Gemara in Brochos (17a) refers to the evil inclination as the “yeast in the dough.” Just as yeast causes the dough to ferment, so does the evil inclination enflame our passions and tempts us to “rise” and sin. The Radvaz (#976) writes that he could not find a satisfactory reason for the anomaly of why even a minuscule amount of leaven is prohibited biblically on Pesach, which is not the case by all other forbidden foods. He concludes that it must be because of its symbolic reminder of the evil inclination and, therefore, it is understandable why one must purge such inclinations even in the smallest of amounts! The Alshich explains that this is why the gematria of chometz is 138, the same numerical value as p’gima, meaning flawed, since chometz represents the flaws in a person, caused by his evil inclination. In the same vein, the Zohar (Shmos 41:1) explains with this concept why we put out ten pieces of bread before we do bedika (the formal search for chometz). The ten morsels of leaven represent the ten organs of man that can lead him to sin; namely, one’s two hands, two feet, two eyes,

two ears, the male organ, and one’s mouth (cf. the Maharsha explains that the nose isn’t counted since it rarely commits a sin). Thus, now we understand that when searching through our homes and worldly possessions for chometz, we are supposed to also be searching through our lives for any spiritual imperfections and purging them as well. Therefore, when cleaning the kitchen cupboards we ask ourselves about our kashrus standards and when cleaning the den we think about how we use our free time, etc. Similarly, the Rama (433:11) states that one is required to check one’s pockets for chometz and the Shla’h HaKodesh explains that this is to symbolize the need to check that no dishonest money adheres to our pockets! It is eminently clear now that Pesach is a time for introspection and teshuvah. Indeed, the saintly Agudas Eizov, may Hashem avenge his blood, quotes from the Seforim Kedoshim that while the high holy days are a time of repentance out of fear, Pesach is time to repent out of love. So, in the spirit of our annual Passover spiritual cleansing, here is a list of fifty-two areas of life which perhaps could use some continued scrubbing and scouring and, with these commitments to better ourselves, we will be more ready to bring our Pesach observance, the anniversary of the birth of the Jewish people, into the whole year! 1) I will make Hashem my very first thought every morning, as I open my eyes with a passionate thank you, modeh ani lefanecha, and not, “Oy, another day!” 2) I will wash my hands generous-

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ly, not gingerly, removing the tumah and rededicating myself to the service of Hashem and to readying myself for prayer. So too, I will not just “touch the tap” when coming out of the bathroom or before my prayers, but will always wash my hands correctly (the Chazon Ish said that correct morning Netilas Yadayim can ward off depression!). 3) I will make it a habit to greet my loved ones with a smile in the morning, starting off their day with the assurance that they are loved and cared for! (This is a hard one but oh, so rewarding.) 4) I will adopt a mantra: Do not scream in the home, do not scream in the home, do not scream in the home. (This one’s even harder!) 5) I will say the birchas ha’Torah with special fervor and introduce this habit to my children, showing them how to say, “V’haarev na es divrei Torasecha - Please sweeten your Torah in our mouths,” with a heartfelt plea that we should learn to enjoy our Torah studies. I heard from one of our Gedolim that this is a great segula to acquire a zest for learning! 6) I will try to always attend minyan, recognizing that my prayers at home might be disregarded but at minyan they never are! 7) I will remember that davening is called the service of the heart and if I pray without kavanah, just saying the words, I’m really missing out on most of the effectiveness of tefilah! As the Chovos Halevovos states, a prayer without thought is like a peel without the fruit and a body without a soul! 8) With this in mind, I will finally make it my business to learn the meaning of the more difficult parts of

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prayer, such as the daily “yom,” recognizing how ridiculous it is that I should be saying it so many years without meaning and realizing happily that, when I study it once, I’ll understand it for the rest of my life! 9) I will exert special effort to say the Shema meaningfully, knowing that on Shabbos I declare that all Jews say Shema, “Pamaiyim b’ahava - Twice with love,” and anything said with love has to be said with feeling! Remembering also that Gehinom is cooled off for one who forces himself to slow down and meticulously say the Shema. 10) I will try to prepare myself whenever possible for the Shemone Esrei, making a quick list of what I want to have in mind when I say refa’einu (who are sick or depressed), boreich aleinu (who is unemployed), s’lach lanu (my latest indiscretions), shema koleinu (my wishes from Hashem), sim shalom (who are having problems with sholom bayis), etc., recognizing that such preparation is the best aid against the danger of my prayers becoming a mere habit and a burden. 11) I will make it a point to always pray for others, realizing that this is the best way to have my prayers fulfilled. And I will put special emphasis on praying for the success of my spouse and my parents. 12) I will put on my tzitzis with the awareness that it represents the 613 mitzvos (its gematria, plus the 8 threads and 5 knots) and have in mind that while I can’t physically fulfill all the mitzvos (since we don’t have the Beis HaMikdosh), I would really want to if I could. 13) I will put on tefillin with excitement, fueled by the knowledge that, Hashem aleihem yichyu, one who puts Hashem upon himself will live. I will try to bear in mind while wearing them that I’m “tied” to the Torah way of life and will remember how Hashem took us out of slavery from Egypt to be bound to Him. 14) I will make certain to learn something, at least once in the day and once at night, no matter what! Just like I find time for my bodily needs, I will find time for the needs of my soul, remembering that “tchilas dino shel Adam eino ela bedivrei Torah,” a per-

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son is first judged in the next world concerning his Torah study. I will also realize that it is incumbent upon me to learn Torah whenever I have idle time. I will think of the fact that if I throw all the mitzvos on one side of the scale and put a sefer on the other side, the sefer will weigh as much as all the other mitzvos combined. Such is the greatness of the mitzva of Torah study!! 15) I will try to start learning two Mishnas a day. Asher stands by the door of Gehinom and doesn’t let anyone in who habitually learns Mishnayos. [Medrash Talpios] We are taught that he who learns two mishnayos every day will merit the afterlife! 16) I will also try to learn some sort of halacha every day, e.g. Kitzur Shulchan Oruch, Mishna Brura, Rambam, Hilchos Chafetz Chaim, etc., knowing that Hashem loves the learning of Halacha more than any other gateway of study! (Masechtas Brochos) 17) Knowing how scarce is my time for Torah study, I will utilize wisely my drive-time, not frittering it away listening to the weather “on the eights” over and over again, or to some talk show host sharing his ‘wisdom,’ or worse, exposing us to putting down other people or embarrassing them in public - which is one of the most heinous crimes imaginable according to the Torah, punishable with the loss of one’s afterlife, if done habitually. I will instead fortify myself with a healthy dosage of Rabbi Miller, Rabbi Reisman, Rabbi Wein, Rabbi Frand, Rabbi Weiss, etc, turning my car into a veritable Beis HaMedrash, joyfully fulfilling the directive of u’vlectcha vaderech, learning Torah while traveling. 18) I will try to review the weekly Torah portion twice with the Targum or Rash”i once every week, knowing that the Gemara promises that one who does so will live long. The Chofetz Chaim writes that this also aids in the development of Emunah! I will put special emphasis on the Chumashim that I tend to neglect. 19) Since Dovid HaMelech instituted the saying of 100 brochos every day to stop Jewish casualties, I realize its efficacy and will attempt to always do so as well.

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20) I will say my brochos haltingly, with an empty mouth, holding the item in my right hand and putting special emphasis on the saying of Hashem’s holy Name. I will not swallow the end of the brocha together with my food! 21) I will develop an intense hatred for any kind of machlokes (fighting), remembering the fact that even infants die because of the sin of machlokes (Rashi, Parshas Korach) and that fighting chases away the Shechinah. 22) I will actively be on guard not to speak loshon hora, training myself not to talk about people. I will choose only friends who are willing to adhere to such a practice. I will passionately pray to succeed at this every day when I say, “Elokai, netzor leshoni meirah!” 23) At the same time, I will purge the bad habit of slightly changing a story, etc., committing myself to be totally truthful - for it is the symbol of Yaakov, (titein emes l’Yaakov) our namesake, and it is the seal of Hashem! 24) I will develop the habit of thinking about Hashem when looking at a mezuza and will stop to take note of the mezuza each time, to ponder its message. This promises to bring life to me and my children, and to bring protection to my home! 25) I will get in the habit of saying Tehillim at available moments, harnessing the power of these age-old words said by my ancestors during every imaginable horror, to pray for the sick, the childless, the unmarried, and the impoverished. 26) I will find time to visit the sick, for the Gemara in Nedarim teaches us that it saves us from Gehinom, protects us from suffering and the wiles of the evil inclination, promises us good friends, and will elevate us to the status that people will be honored just to be associated with us! 27) I will learn to happily part with my money to charity, recognizing that a Jewish shroud has no pockets and the only money we get to take with us is that which we give to help others! 28) I will take special care in eating Kosher, making sure that I don’t simply rely on the fact that everyone else is eating it!

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29) I will make sure to hope for Moshiach and techiyas hameisim (resurrection of the dead) daily, utilizing the many prayers that we say about these wishes, (e.g. ‘Al kein nikaveh’ in Aleinu, ‘Es tzemach’ in Shemone Esrei, and Kadish, to name but a few.) 30) I will fiercely pursue sholom bayis (marital harmony), knowing that it is the linchpin of ensuring the Shechina in the home! And as Rav Chaim Vital has said, a person’s middos can be evaluated by how he treats his spouse!

31) I will try never to end the day before making up with my spouse, not wanting to go to sleep without the Shechina in the home. 32) I realize that humans are reciprocal in nature and I will try to initiate love and affection, caring and devotion in my marriage. I know full well that the best way to get something is to give it! 33) Knowing that I will be asked in the next world if I made my spouse happy, I will make a list of ten things that I know would thrill my spouse. I

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will then set out to fulfill as many of those items as I can (if you can’t list ten, start dating again!). 34) I will learn the art of saying I’m sorry. Showing that I empathize with the damage I’ve done and demonstrating that I’m making concrete corrections so that it won’t happen again. (This is very different from the “I said I’m sorry already” approach!) 35) When under tension I will pay special attention to how I speak to my spouse, pausing the extra moment to remove the barb (shtuch) and sting from something I was about to say! 36) With my children I’ll be ever mindful that the best present I can give them is more of my presence! 37) Knowing how busy our lives are, I will be constantly mindful that the best way to teach my children is by example. I’ll therefore try hard to be a role model for them, especially at home, showing them how I practice communication, restraint, compromise, flexibility and forgiveness. 38) I will try hard not to eye other women (thinking of what I say twice daily in Shema “vlo sasuru acharei lvavchem v’acharei eineichem”), and (as a woman) I will try not to mindfully attract other men. 39) I will honor my parents exceedingly, realizing it is a barometer of my respect for Hashem! I will honor them while they are alive and send them packages when they are in the next world! 40) I will likewise show great respect to my “in-laws,” realizing that most of what is precious to me (my wife and children) is only because of them! 41) I will treat my son-in-law and daughter-in-law like royalty and in this way keep my children. 42) I will say the Shabbos Kiddush with the thoughts that Hashem created the world and that He took us out of Egypt to be His special people (because of this only we have Shabbos). 43) When eating the cholent and the liver I will pause to reflect on my belief in Hashem the Creator, and my gratitude to Him. 44) I will make sure that I and my family eat 3 meals on Shabbos, for it offers many important protections. I will

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likewise insist on the eating of the Melave Malka (after Shabbos meal) which sustains the indestructible looz bone, from which we will be resurrected. 45) I will be mindful of personal modesty even in the bathroom. This is a barometer of one’s awareness of Hashem, since He is the only one who sees me when I am there. 46) I will take my family to see Torah sages often, for the Torah teaches us that this is akin to greeting the Shechina (Rash”i Ki Seesa). 47) I will bentch with intense concentration (taking out time to learn the bentching well) for the Chofetz Chaim tells us that one who bentches with kavana will be assured a livelihood with dignity and plenty all of his life. I will avoid washing if I feel I won’t be able to concentrate on the bentching (Rav Segal of Manchester zt”l). 48) I will learn to pay attention to the great mitzvah of saying amain. I will have in mind that the blessing is true, and may what it describes be fulfilled (when applicable). 49) I will try to acquire the great talent of silence, developing the expertise of not needing to answer back or have the last word. It is the trait of the righteous (Masechtas Eruvin) and will save one from many downfalls (Masechtas Sanhedrin). 50) I will try hard to learn humility, for our sages teach us that it’s the most important of all traits! (cf. Masechtas Erchin 16b and the third tosafos in Masechtas Yevomos 103b) 51) I will say Krias Shema al Hamita and the blessing of Hamapil nightly. (This is so important, for it ends off the day in the correct Jewish way and we know that much is determined by the end.) I will have in mind that I’m sleeping to be able to serve Hashem better the next day (this converts the entire night’s sleep into a hechsher mitzva). 52) I will never rest on my laurels, but think about how I can change and improve myself EVERY day. To this end I will always make a cheshbon hanefesh (a personal accounting) preferably every night, at least once a week before Shabbos. Whew, there’s so much to do and of course this is only a sample. Hat-

zlocha Rabbah! Have a very healthy, happy, altogether wonderful and meaningful Pesach! Sheldon Zeitlin takes dictation of, and edits, Rabbi Weiss’ articles.

Rabbi Weiss is currently stepping up his speaking engagements. To have him in your community call now 718.916.3100 or email RMMWSI@aol.com. To receive a weekly cassette tape or CD directly from Rabbi Weiss, please send a check to Rabbi

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Moshe Meir Weiss, P.O. Box 140726, Staten Island, NY 10314 or contact him at RMMWSI@aol.com. Now back in print is a large size paperback edition of Power Bentching. To order call him at 718916-3100 or email at above. Attend Rabbi Weiss’s weekly shiur at the Landau Shul, Avenue L and East 9th in Flatbush, Tuesday nights at 9:30 p.m. Rabbi Weiss’s Daf Yomi and Mishnah Yomis shiurim can be heard LIVE on Kol Haloshon at (718) 906-6400. Write to KolHaloshon@gmail.com for details. They can now also be seen on TorahAnyTime.com.

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THE SHORT VORT

SURPRISE HOSPITAL VISIT BY RABBI RON YITZCHOK EISENMAN

aking the rounds at the hospital is often a challenging rabbinical duty for me. What do you do when you arrive and the patient is sleeping? My first instinct is always to think, “Great, the person is sleeping and I certainly would never think of waking a sick person; I will quickly scribble a note indicating I was here and make a quick exit before they wake up.” I embarrassingly admit that my thoughts are not indicative of the highest level of piety. My sense of ‘relief’ is not something I am proud of; however, the rabbi is all too human. On one particular cold winter day I arrived at the hospital with three patients to visit. The first was elderly Mr. Greenspan (all names have been changed) who was never much of a talker and would be touched and thrilled that I came by and sat with him for a few moments. I enjoyed him and he was the last person to be taxing on my limited time. Then was Gloria Moskowitz. At 86 she was as sharp as a whip and I thoroughly enjoyed being in her presence. She would amaze me with stories of New York from the 1940s when an egg cream (authors note: if you are not from New York, suffice for me to tell you that the delicious New York

drink known as the egg cream contains neither eggs nor cream and if you thought it did… you are just not a New Yorker) was five cents. She would regale me with stories of Friday night Onegs at the Young Israel of Flatbush on Coney Island Avenue and Ave I and how back then everyone was thrilled if a nice Jewish boy met a nice Jewish girl at the Friday night Oneg, as it guaranteed Jewish continuity. I then went to my final visit, Irving Levinstein. Irving was a cantankerous nonagenarian who could be both belligerent and highly critical of anything and everything. “Rabbi, why before you came there was no such thing as ‘Kosher Milk?’” was one of his more famous questions. He was also a quite accomplished kibitzer; Irving was never married and when asked to what he attributed his longevity he would reply without hesitation, “The secret to long life is never having a Schvigger!” I arrived at this bedside. I was prepared for some unsolicited criticism or for some of his wry humor; however, I was not expecting what he said. “Rabbi, I see in many things you were correct. Stressing Torah learning and seeing the shul once again filled with young people and their children is the only way we can survive.” He was now so mellow and so calm. “You know, I wish I had a family. I know I kibitz about not having a mother in law; however, it would have been nice to have grandchildren.” He then became very serious and handed me a check. “Rabbi, I know I will not live forever; and if there is one thing I have learned over the last years it’s that the secret to our communal longevity is Jewish education. I have no children and no grandchildren; however, I would like to be part of the Jewish revival. Here, please take this and help one child go to yeshiva.” He handed me a sealed envelope. As I arrived in my car I opened it up. Inside was a check for $15,000. Next to the check was a small note, and on it was written, “For one child’s Jewish education, from Irving Levinstein, a proud but lonely Jew.” As I placed the check in my pocket I realized once again that Irving Levinstein had done more for me and for the Jewish people than I had ever done for him. Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, Rabbi, Congregation Ahavas Israel, Passaic, NJ

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should be so lucky!”

T I M E L I N E

Remark: “Hurry up. Dinner’s ready.” English answer: “Be right there.” Hebonic response: “Alright already, I’m coming. What’s with the ‘hurry’ business? Is there a fire?” Remark: “I like the tie you gave me; I wear it all the time.” English answer: “Glad you like it.” Hebonic response: “So what’s the matter; you don’t like the other ties I gave you?”

AN ECLECT IC COL LECTION OF NEWS ITEMS, FEATURES AND HUMOR WE JUST COULDN’T FIT ANYWHERE ELSE!

Switched-On hebOnicS

he New York City Public Schools have officially declared Hebonics (Jewish English) as a second language. Backers of the move say the city schools are the first in the nation to recognize Hebonics as a valid language and a significant attribute of American culture. According to Howard Schollman, linguistics professor at Brooklyn College and renowned Hebonics scholar, the sentence structure of Hebonics derives from middle and eastern European language patterns, as well as Yiddish. Prof. Schollman explains, “In Hebonics, the re-

sponse to any question is usually another question, plus a complaint, implied or stated. Thus ‘How are you?’ would be answered, ‘How should I be… with my bad feet?’” Schollman says that Hebonics is a superb linguistic vehicle for expressing sarcasm or skepticism. An example is the repetition of a word with ‘sh’ or ‘shm’ at the beginning: “Mountains, shmountains. Stay away. You want a nosebleed?” Another Hebonics pattern is moving the subject of a sentence to the end, with its pronoun at the beginning: “It’s beautiful, that dress.” Schollman says one al-

so sees the Hebonics verb moved to the end of the sentence. Thus the response to a remark such as “He’s slow as a turtle,” could be “Turtle, shmurtle! Like a fly in Vaseline he walks.” Schollman provided the following examples from his best-selling textbook, “Switched-On Hebonics.” Question: “What time is it?” English answer: “Sorry, I don’t know.” Hebonic response: “What am I, a clock?” Remark: “I hope things turn out okay.” English answer: “Thanks.” Hebonic response: “I

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Remark: “Sarah and I are engaged.” English answer: “Congratulations!” Hebonic response: “She could stand to lose a few pounds.” Question: “Would you like to go riding with us?” English answer: “Just say when.” Hebonic response: “Riding, shmiding! Do I look like a cowboy?” To the guest of honor at a birthday party: English answer: “Happy birthday.” Hebonic response: “A year smarter you should become.” Remark: “It’s a beautiful day.” English answer: “Sure is.” Hebonic response: “So the sun is out; what else is new?” Answering a phone call from a son: English answer: “It’s been a while since you called.” Hebonic response: “You didn’t wonder if I’m dead already?”

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hat is the definition of “Politics?” In its purest form, politics is the art of the possible. In its most practiced form, politics is the art of deceit. In its current form, politics is the essence of evil; the embodiment of which is the unfortunately current president of the United States, Barack HUSSEIN Obama. My whole life I’ve wondered, “How did the Holocaust happen?” I can understand one crazy lunatic - a Hitler yemach sh’mo v’zichro. Even a few deranged lieutenants. But how does a whole country - an up-until-that-time civilized, cultured nation - completely lose its collective mind and sink to the lowest levels of human depravity? How is such a thing possible? Now I think I’m beginning to understand. The first step on this all-tooquick road to perdition is the complete disregard for the truth. When elected leaders can look you straight in the eye and simply lie to your face - and not just any lie, but a demonstrable falsehood like “hands up don’t shoot,” an event that never happened but the re-telling of which was repeated over and over again on the floor of the House of Representatives - we have begun to lose touch with reality.

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When your elected representatives can look you in the eye and say, “If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor” - when even a child with a fifth grade education can see that the economics of the plan would make that impossible - we have begun to surrender our sovereignty. And when the putative leader of the free world can say with impunity that the United States might no longer support the State of Israel at the United Nations - a stance that reverses sixty-seven years of US policy in one brazen sentence - or that his highest imperative is to structure a deal with Iran - a deal which will leave a mortal enemy with nuclear weapons capability, a capability they will use to attempt to wipe out Israel, not to mention the United States - it is officially time to be afraid. The sickness of anti-semitism is once again loose in the world. And once again, it is the leader of an up-until-now civilized, cultured nation that is its foremost practitioner. But I would caution the world to remember. While Hitler’s main focus was the destruction of the Jews, his mania led directly to more than forty-eight million deaths during World War II. Just imagine what could happen in the age of nuclear weapons. Be afraid… be very afraid.

PO LITI CS

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R E A L

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L I F E

Rendezvous on the Verrazano By Country Yossi

don’t live in Staten Island so it’s inexplicable that I would have two unusual stories to tell about me and the Verrazano bridge! For many years I used to broadcast my radio show from Staten Island at WNYM on Smyrna Avenue. One evening, late as usual, I approached the toll plaza and handed the toll-taker a $10 bill. This was way back when the toll was about $2.50 and not a week’s wages like it is today. He handed me some bills as change and I hurriedly drove off to do the show. Before I stashed the bills in my pocket I quickly noticed that he had given me change of a $20 instead of a $10! I made a mental note to take care of the mistake on the way back after the show. Sure enough, four hours later, around midnight, I pulled over next to the Triborough Bridge and Tunnel Authority building, a large, gray, imposing brick structure on the right side of the toll plaza. I parked my car and went inside. A harried-looking man approached me and asked me what I wanted. I replied, “A mistake was made with my change earlier this evening and I would like to make things right.” He grunted and told me to have a seat. After about 15 minutes he came out with a form and asked me to fill it out. The heading on the form was

Short-Change Claim Request. I took the form to the man and said, “But sir, you don’t understand - I wasn’t short changed. I was given too much change!” He looked at me like I was crazy. “Hey Tony,” he called out to his colleague, “this kid here is claiming he got too much change!” Tony looked out at me and said, “Huh?” “We don’t got a form for that,” he laughed. “I’ve been on his job for 30 years and nobody has ever come in here to claim he got too much money.” Sensing a chance for a Kiddush Hashem, I adjusted my yarmulke to make sure he saw I was Jewish. I asked him if the toll-taker has to make up any shortfall out of his own pocket at the end of the shift. He said yes. So I told him if anybody is short tonight, take the extra money and use it to make him whole. He took my name and address and said he would get back to me if nobody claimed it. (He never did!) I wished him a good evening, called out, “Shalom Tony!” and disappeared into the night. He was still shaking his head as I made my way back across the Verrazano. Not too long thereafter, one cold Motzei Shabbos as I approached, you guessed it, the Verrazano Bridge after the radio show I was surprised to see a rabbinical-looking gentleman standing near the toll plaza wearing only a jacket and tie. Being nobody’s fool, I immediately intuited he was not the Bridge Mashgiach on the midnight shift so I pulled over and offered him a ride

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home! As we sat in my warm car he explained that his car had broken down, how he had been waiting for quite a while and how he was so thankful that I had stopped to pick him up. Then he began to question me who I was, where I was coming from and where I was going. When I finally reluctantly revealed I was Country Yossi heading home from my radio show, he was dumbstruck! He sat silently for a while, obviously in deep thought as he stared out the window. Then he somberly turned to look at me and spoke from the heart. “I am the principal of ........... (a prominent Sephardic yeshiva on Brooklyn). I want to tell you that recently I had decided to ban your Kivi and Tuki tapes from the yeshiva because I felt that some of the Tuki lines were too laitzonisdik! I was going to send home a letter to that effect. But now that I met you I changed my mind!” By the time I dropped him off at his home I had won over a new friend. Since Hashem rewards midah k’neged midah I always felt that I was rewarded for my Kiddush Hashem on the Verrazano by winning back a whole yeshiva of Kivi & Tuki fans on that very same spot! Any way you look at it - strange things happen on the Verrazano Bridge!

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R E A L

L I F E

REFLECTIONS UPON A MILESTONE BIRTHDAY BY COUNTRY YOSSI TOIV

s I look back over the inexplicable course my life has taken over these many years, one thing becomes crystal clear… It’s a miracle I’m alive! Not once or twice but at least three times in my life, Hashem in His infinite mercy has seen fit to intervene and rescue me from life-threatening situations that have tragically taken so many others! Let me tell you about the big three.

MIRACLE ON FRANKLIN AVENUE The D train thundered down the track, swerving and screeching as it sped towards the Franklin Avenue station that early Sunday morning. It was 8:30am and my brother Moshe and I were heading to yeshiva (Lubavitch) on Bedford Ave corner Dean Street. I was 12 and he was 9 years old. We were sitting in the last seat in the last car of a completely deserted train! Well, almost deserted. A disheveledlooking black man reeking of liquor and worse was lying across 3 seats directly opposite us! He looked harmless and was fast asleep, so we paid him no heed. We were pretty fearless in those days. Maybe naïve and foolish would be more accurate. In any case, we were also lulled to sleep by the constant rocking motion of the train so we leaned against each other and dozed off. Suddenly, I opened my eyes to check where we were and saw the large green letters FRANKLIN AVE on the tiled station wall! I jumped up, grabbed my knapsack with one hand and Moshe with the other and ran for the door! The doors hissed and began to close. Moshe scampered out and I

just made it out too, except for one small problem; my left ankle was still on the train! The metal door was shut tightly on my foot and no amount of twisting and pulling by Moshe could get it out! I threw down my knapsack and began shouting to the conductor, “Help, Help, I’m stuck!” But he was nowhere to be seen. The airbrake ominously hissed off and slowly the train began moving forward, shlepping me along. As my brother receded into the distance, I saw the wall at the far end of the station loom larger and larger as the train picked up speed. I was sure that it was over for me! In desperation I screamed out, “Shma Yisroel Hashem Elokainu Hashem Echud!” Suddenly, the drunken man who was sleeping on the train towered above me in the door window. Just for an instant his blood-shot eyes locked on mine as he took in the situation. Then I saw his fingers push through the hard rubber molding holding my ankle in their unyielding grip. I watched him grimace and strain at those doors like Shimshon in the temple of the Plishtim! Then with one last, mighty heave he miraculously spread those doors barely an inch apart - but that was enough! My shoe fell off, my foot came loose and finally, panting on the platform, I watched the train vanish into the dark tunnel. But right before the last car disappeared I saw my shoe come flying out the window and slam into the far wall that had been waiting for me! I thanked Hashem for his quick response and wondered if Eliyahu Hanavi could possibly disguise himself as an inebriated Afro-American on a D train in Brooklyn. I decided yes, he could! That was the first time my life was miraculously spared. But thankfully, not the last!

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DON’T PASS THE DONUTS PLEASE! The next occasion would be 4 years later in the Bronx, as I was rushing through a quick breakfast about to head out to Taft High School for my summertime Geometry Regent. I had just taken a big bite out of a sugarcoated doughnut and took a sip of milk to wash it down. I washed it down alright - right down my windpipe! I couldn’t breathe! I jumped up and ran to my mother, holding my throat. She started screaming and began banging my back with her open hand. It wasn’t working! I couldn’t get a puff of air in or out. I was down on one knee on the kitchen floor, starting to see the darkness closing in. Suddenly, my older sister Channa, who was in her room getting ready to leave to work, heard the commotion and came rushing into the kitchen. Reacting quickly, she stuck her finger down my throat and, after some maneuvering, was able to dislodge a small piece of donut. But that was enough! I managed to suck in some blessed air and slowly but surely coughed out the rest. I was seconds away from passing out! She had literally saved my life! So twice I had been saved from death’s door. But the most dramatic event was yet to come.

PERIL ON THE PALISADES Six years later I was on a shidduch date and, trying to impress her with my appreciation of nature (the fall foliage was in full bloom), I decided to take her to Bear Mountains in upstate New York. It was a long, beautiful drive up the Palisades Parkway but the ride home did not go as well. Actually, let me re-phrase that… it was a wreck! Literally! While heading home I was driving in the right lane, zipping along at the legal limit, when I was distracted for just a moment. When I looked back up, suddenly there was a fork in the road. In the darkness it seemed that the road turned right so I swerved to the right and found myself on a serpentine exit ramp heading to Nyack. My small car feebly attempted to stay on the road but after a few seconds the steering wheel froze and, all by itself, turned

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sharply to the left! Then the brakes locked and suddenly I found myself bouncing along on the grass heading straight for the trees at 50mph! I remember seeing a tree right in front of us and then a loud crack, complete darkness and then total silence. I slowly opened my eyes, fully expecting to be in the Next World! Instead, there we were suspended from the ceiling of the upside down car by our seat-belts. We opened our belts and plopped to the floor (roof?). I cranked open my window and we crawled out onto the grass. Within a few minutes an ambulance was on the scene and a paramedic quickly examined us. I was unhurt but she needed a few stitches in her scalp! He said it was a miracle that we both walked out of that wreck. I called my roommates back in Far Rockaway, who thankfully came to pick us up. They drove her home first and as she left I apologized for everything and in a feeble attempt at humor cracked, “I guess you could say I flipped over you.” For some reason she didn’t find it funny!

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We never spoke again, but I did hear from her lawyer! The next day I went back to the scene of the accident to examine the vehicle and get my stuff. What I found shocked me to my core. The last thing I remembered seeing right in front of me before the awful crash was a tree! But now it seems the car had spun sideways at the last split second and hit the tree flush with my driver’s side door, flipped over and came to rest on its roof! The tree was cracked in half and the car was totaled! But miraculously, I was unscathed! Had I hit that tree head-on I hate to think what would have happened. It was as if a heavenly hand had reached down and turned the car at the last moment! To add insult to injury, however, a month later I received a bill from the Palisades Parkway Commission for $250 to replace an Austrian Birch! So those were the big three, but there were countless other times, not quite as dramatic, where I noticed that someone up there was looking out for me. Many other close calls occurred while driving, swimming, crossing the street and some bicycling misadventures. Trying to make sense of it all, with the benefit of hindsight, I’ve come to the following conclusion: Perhaps the real reason I was saved all those times was because Hashem had plans for me! Maybe it was that He wanted Country Yossi to survive so that he would write songs that made people smile, laugh, learn and be moved. Perhaps He wanted him to reach thousands with his radio show, CD’s and magazine - bringing

laughter and good cheer to His people struggling through a long and bitter Golus? Who better than he to sing about Cha Cha Cha Cholent, the Flying Lukshin Kugel Eater, Big Bad Moish and regale and entertain generations of kids with the hilarious antics of Kivi and Tuki? Maybe it was His inscrutable will that the profound lessons of Al Tomar (Tick Tock), It’s Only Make-Believe and It’s An Upside-Down World enter the hearts and minds of his children at this fateful moment in Jewish history! And perhaps now, as we ap-

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proach the End of Days and the ominous, deteriorating world situation hangs like a black cloud above us, He wanted someone to inspire them with songs about The Little Kinderlach, He’s Coming Closer and Oh, My Yerushalayim? Whatever the reason, I am profoundly grateful and thankful to our Father in Heaven for all the wonderful blessings he has bestowed upon me and my family! I hope I have, to some extent, justified His faith in me and I pray He gives me the opportunity to continue to serve Him and Am Yisroel in good health for many years to come. May we all serve Him with hearts full of joy and simcha, and thus bring the Geulah shlaimuh b’korov! Hodu Lashem Ki Tov Ki L’olam Chasdo!

AFTERTHOUGHT Upon re-reading the above it occurs to me that this insight should apply to all of us as well. My good friend Rabbi Moshe Meir Weiss always advises that if one wants to live a long life he should make himself important and indispensable to as many people as possible! This way, if Hashem decides your time is up, the potential collateral damage and pain it would inflict upon others may make Him have second thoughts! After all, they don’t deserve to be punished. So you might get a pass because of them. Each of us has our own unique gift, talent, or skill that we can use to help or comfort others. Whether it’s visiting the sick, inviting people for Shabbos, making shidduchim, collecting tzedaka, counseling others, learning and teaching Torah or any other altruistic networking endeavor that involves you with many people, whatever it takes, be a People Person! I know a woman who spends all her free time playing music and singing songs with the old people in an assisted living facility. They tell her that this is the highlight of their day! The love, joy and kedushah being generated by her selflessness has given them purpose and reason to go on. She just bought herself the best life insurance policy there is!

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S P O T L I G H T

EASY-FLOW: LITTLE ONE’S SERENITY, MOTHER’S BEST REMEDY BY CHAYA SARA SCHLUSSEL

t’s 2:20am. Two weeks ago at this time, I was pacing the floor of my living room, wearing my rug threadbare as I trudged back and forth with my eyes drooping in sleep-deprivation. In my arms was my chronically screaming infant daughter. I patted her, sang to her and begged her to calm down. She just continued howling. It was almost 4am by the time we both finally succumbed to an exhausted sleep. That was the routine I had been blindly following for more than two months, despairing of ever finding rest, and giving up on the hope of a happy, content baby. I lovingly nursed her, but it was a monumental sacrifice for me, rather than a relaxing exchange between mother and child. I was never sure if she had eaten enough, as she never seemed satisfied. Both my daughter and I were miserable - which is why I will be forever grateful to the friend who finally introduced me to an incredible product called Easy-Flow. I’m sure my story will sound familiar to many. After my first 2-week stint of insomnia, I seriously contemplated switching from nursing to formula. It just wasn’t working out, and I was ready to quit. But once I learned about the many benefits of mother’s milk, bottle feeding became a far less optimal option for me. Aside from the incomparable bonding experience it creates, breastfeeding stimulates the immune system, protecting against invasive diseases, viruses and cancers - even lowering the risk of Leukemia by 30%. Additionally, nursing has been scientifically proven as an IQ-booster, providing proper nourishment for the brain in its earliest stages. It prevents obesity and eating disorders later on in the baby’s life and significantly lowers baby’s risk of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). With all its natural benefits, nursing was inarguably the superior feeding alternative. So instead of jumping ship,

I set out to find a way, if at all possible, to continue nursing without the crankiness. I began asking people for advice and soon found that many women shared similar circumstances to mine. Some complained about colic and gassiness in their infants. Others sighed over nursing-induced irritation and soreness. Many were despairing of ever enjoying their “bonding experience.” And then finally, I met my friend Mimi at the park. I casually mentioned that my nursing was not all I had hoped it would be. She nodded knowingly, and then whipped a bottle of Easy-Flow out of her pocketbook. “Easy-Flow,” she confidently asserted, “will change your life. Trust me. Just try it.” I began taking Easy-Flow twice a day, and I’ve never looked back since. During my 2-month quest for answers, I learned many things about nursing that I’d previously been unaware of. I learned that some women have a low milk supply, which results in an unsatisfied, unhappy baby. Other women have plentiful milk, but still fail to satiate their baby’s hunger due to poor milk consistency, diluted quality, bitter taste or lack of nutrients. In some cases, mother’s milk cannot travel properly for lack of conduit fluency - and the frustrated baby cannot get enough. At times, superficial sores and skin conditions can cause severe discomfort to the mother both during and after nursing sessions. Amazingly, the one natural, centuriesold antidote for all of these complications is Easy-Flow. This prize product from Smiling Herbs both enhances and enriches mother’s milk to its greatest advantage. It’s a healthy supplement that provides instantaneous, positive results in many areas of difficulty. Easy-Flow aids smooth movement of the milk by ensuring consistency and conduit clearance. It eliminates irritation by targeting internal infection. It in-

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creases baby’s appetite, making nursing sessions longer and more productive. Vital minerals and nutrients give both mother and baby a healthy boost, as mom’s immune system is strengthened and resistance to infection and disease is fortified. One mother confided that she only began using Easy-Flow after twelve months of nursing, when her milk supply gradually began to decrease. Easy-Flow reversed the decline. With absolutely no side effects, Easy-Flow does not cause any reactions, allergic or otherwise. And best of all, EasyFlow has a soothing effect on babies, targeting pressure points and eliminating headaches, upset stomachs, colic, gassiness, and other causes of stress or interference. It’s a favorite of mothers worldwide, who cannot help but rave about the incredible transformation that Easy-Flow has brought to their nursing sessions. Recently, this standard herbal supplement was redesigned to contain a high-potency extract that is easy to take, with revolutionary results. The Smiling Herbs Company saw the tremendous need for a product that would aid mothers significantly in their nursing. Using a precise processing system overseen by a highly trained staff of field experts with extensive knowledge of herbal history, Smiling Herbs reintroduced Easy-Flow to their exuberant customer base. The all-natural ingredients are hand-selected for their physical and chemical potential. Now small, easy-to-swallow capsules provide instant relief in manageable dosages. While every mother needs to regulate her own dosage, most people see a definite improvement with just two capsules a day. The feedback that Easy-Flow has received is overwhelmingly positive from their many satisfied clients. Now it’s 2:25am and the only reason I’m still up is that I had to finish writing this article, letting all the feeding-forlorn mothers out there know about this unparalleled product, so they too can upgrade their nursing from bleary-eyed to beautiful. Mommies, don’t quit. Take Easy-Flow and get to enjoy the beauty, bounty, and blessing of your baby. Thank you, Smiling Herbs, for the miracle of quiet and contentment that you’ve given me. Good night! Smiling Herbs 347-546-2792 smilingherbs@gmail.com

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S P O T L I G H T

GREAT GEAR, FOR YOUR GET UP AND GO! BY CHAYA SARA SCHLUSSEL

ast year, my sixteen-yearold son asked for a pretty prohibitive Afikoman present. Up until then, he’d been more than happy with various games, toys and electronic devices. But this request was one I knew he’d been pining over for many months; and something he’d probably make good use of for a long, long time. He asked us for a Felt Virtue 1 Mountain Bike. Now, for those folks who don’t pedal for pleasure and are not cycling aficionados - this model is not for an amateur doing wheelies at the local skate park. This is a professional, light aluminum and carbon cross-country rocket that’s virtually the fastest thing on two wheels. Yes, it’s costly but my son is an avid cyclist who’s already coasted down mountains all across the eastern seaboard and participated in summer bike races in upstate NY. Biking isn’t just his occasional hobby; it’s a recreational activity that gives him a feeling of accomplishment and self-satisfaction. So I felt the Afikoman bid was warranted, and we headed to the Brooklyn Sports Shop to check out their assortment. If you’re looking for a venue that vaunts every imaginable type of sports equipment, you’re looking for the Brooklyn Sports Shop. This joint stocks anything a sports fan can dream of, including baseball, basketball, soccer, tennis and even boxing gear. And their merchandise isn’t for child’s play: Think pro-grade balls, mitts, bats, hoops, rackets and gloves… All anyone could possibly need to get their

A-game on! For those laid-back, never-break-a-sweat sportsters, this Brooklyn shop also sells fishing rods, line and tackle. Got a yen for some fancy skating tricks? They’ve got rollerblades and scooters to fit your favorite street-style grind. Aside from their extensive array of athletic equipment, this place is also geared toward fitness. Weights, barbells, treadmills, and any other exercise machines that can possibly help us shed our pounds and trim our waist-

lines - they’re all at the Brooklyn Sports Shop, waiting for us procrastinating couch potatoes. They even have professional hula hoops! Now that sunshine is finally in the forecast, it’s time to get ready for summer’s favorite activity: swimming! The Brooklyn Sports Shop has swim suits, bathing caps, goggles and trunks for real swimmers, not just those who wade in kiddie pools or splash around at the local Y. They take the butterfly stroke seriously! You’ll find scuba and snorkel equipment for ocean diving or checking out the coral reefs.

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And then, of course, there’s the breathtaking selection of bikes. This lineup isn’t comprised of your standard Schwinns. These are top-of-theline, specialized models, precisionmade for those who compete in multisport challenges and triathlons. They’re beautiful! Sleek, trim and fast, these cycles are like self-propelled BMW’s, minus the headache of parking. There are bikes in every size from kid to adult, with prices ranging from $150 to thousands, depending on ability and components. And you can find durable helmets and weatherproof tracksuits to further improve and enhance the ride. The Brooklyn Sports Shop began in a garage, and just recently upgraded to a state-of-the-art new showroom, at 561 Empire Boulevard. It’s the only store of its kind for miles around, focusing on the needs of budding competitors who want equipment to match their level of performance. Their goal is to give every sports player a chance to win, with access to great gear at reasonable prices. My son came home with his brand new bike, all ready to conquer the next mountain. Look out rocks, tree stumps and mud puddles in his path - with this Afikoman present, he’s a helmeted warrior with handlebars. Thank you, Brooklyn Sports Shop, for helping us make his athletic dream come true! Brooklyn Sports Shop 561 Empire Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11225 (718) 484-0943

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ou’ll never guess who just came to visit our planet. (No, not your mother-in-law.) I’m talking about the lovable, laughable, totally tickle-me-silly duo from beyond the stars, Kivi and Tuki! Yup, they’re back, and they’ve brought their little sister Kaylie along for the ride. Tuki - the little mixed-up munchkin with a wisecracking sense of humor, and Kivi - the mentchliche masmid from Mars who never misses a misheberach, are a pair of wacky-bututterly-charming characters who somehow managed to embed themselves inside our hearts for more than two decades. We adults grew up with their adorable antics and sensational songs - and now our children are about to be treated to the same superb combination of wit and wisdom that defines every Country Yossi classic. The CD is entitled “Count Your Blessings,” and not only does it incorporate all the fun and giggles we’ve come to expect from a playful Kivi and Tuki production, it’s also a lesson-filled learning adventure that will imbue our kinderlach with a deeper understanding and appreciation for Torah and mitzvos. One of the biggest perks of writing for Country Yossi is that I get to preview his new albums before they hit the shelves. That way, I can give my fellow parents an honest-to-goodness heads-up about the quality of content, the depth of substance, and the full extent of sidesplitting ridiculousness that you can duly expect from each of his recordings. So, in order to keep things real, let me give you the lowdown on what’s been going on in my own house from

the moment those two huggable hunks of hysteria resurfaced here on Earth for the release of Kivi and Tuki Volume 6. The CD’s been playing incessantly for the last week, and I have a few serious complaints to lodge with both Yossi Toiv and Heshy Walfish. First of all, if I ask my kids to do anything at all while this CD is on, I might as well ‘phone home’ to Tuki himself via satellite from the moon. Try calling their names, and it’s like I’m talking to a bunch of space cadets with a selective hearing disorder. My children are so glued to the stereo system, they may as well be pasted to the speakers with earwax. From the minute I got the CD, I had no choice but to ditch my alarm clock. Since hearing the song “Wake Up Time,” my kids insist on being schlepped out of bed every morning to the sound of me belting “wake up time, wake up time, wake, wake, wake up time” over and over ad infinitum. It’s either that, or they send me out to 13th Avenue in search of the latest “ultrasonic, super-duper, cholent-powered, bell-clanging, ear-splitting cookoo clock with a rooster on top!” Trust me on this one. I haven’t slept a wink past 6am since Tuki introduced this alarming new invention. Then there’s the song “Shacharis in the Morning.” I used to have to nudge my six year old son to go to shul by promising him I’d buy out the entire nosh section of the grocery store if he davened well. But not anymore! Every time I turn around he’s heading out the

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door for either Shacharis, Maariv or Mincha, in the morning, evening or afternoon! One minute he’ll be climbing the walls right beside me, and the next thing I know he’s curling his peyos, grabbing a siddur and rocketing out of the house in time to greet Moshiach. It’s like he suddenly got zapped with a bolt of Kivi-like kavana! But that ain’t all. Because of the song “100 Brachos a Day,” I’ve lately been finding a number of tasty morsels missing from my kitchen cabinets. All the candies, cakes and chocolates are mysteriously disappearing, as are all the cold beverages from my refrigerator! At first I blamed it on mice, but now I blame it on brachos! Just last Tuesday I caught my four-year-old stuffing her pockets with licorice and gummy bears. I demanded that she put them back but she insisted “Ma! Country Yossi said we have to make 100 brachos a day!! I still have ninety six to go!” So, I let her keep her loot. And thanks to the track “Shehakol,” she even knows which blessing goes on which sugarcoated, calorie-infested, MSG-loaded food! When I found fruit punch spilled all over my carpeted bedroom floor, my guilty-looking kid just smiled at me and said, “On drinks - shehakol nihiyeh bidvaro!” In fact, I find my kids making brachos on the craziest things

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these days. Yesterday, when I told my daughter her hair looked really bad, she said “Make a bracha on me! Country Yossi says to make a bracha on strange looking people!” Every time we pass a tree she wants to know if it’s growing cherries, and every time I put on her school vest she asks if it’s bulletproof! Good grief, what has this album gotten me into! The CD doesn’t focus exclusively on brachos though. It touches on a phenomenal selection of topics that range from a complete rundown of the complex “Lamed Tes Melachos,” to a hilarious countdown of “Who Knows One?” My kids quickly caught on to the catchy lyrics, ending every verse with a high-pitched, piercingly shrill shout of “Hoo! Ha! Hoo ha ha!” until I felt like my cranium was about to cave in from the cacophony. Country Yossi pays tribute to those who work diligently for the Klal in a beautiful version of “V’chul Mi,” and he succinctly explains the traditional Pesach Chad Gadya in the fast-paced and kidfriendly, “One Kid, One Kid.” A personal favorite of mine is the track “Fargin,” which introduces children to the exceptional middah of celebrating someone else’s good fortune. The song teaches us to see the greatness in one who replaces jealousy with joy. In a more serious vein, one track on the album concentrates on a sensitive subject that is vital to the wellbeing of our children. It’s called “Don’t Talk to Strangers,” and it was created with the help of Rabbonim and therapists to ensure that its message is presented in a gentle, tzniusdige manner. “Don’t Talk to

Strangers” was a great conversationstarter in my home, as it prompted my five-year-old to ask many important questions regarding personal safety. The song “Upside Down World” has Tuki hanging from the chandelier, in order to get a better perspective on Olam Hazeh. My kids thrilled to the laugh-out-loud lyrics, which deftly describe the values and standards here in this world that are completely superficial in the Olam HaEmes. It’s a jingle that twists left to right, turns rich to poor and tilts big to small in one fun, funny, and phenomenally insightful composition! The album finishes with a wonderfully orchestrated and beautifully harmonized rendition of “V’uhavtuh” that touched my heart and left me inspired by Klal Yisroel’s limitless love for Hashem.

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All in all, it’s Country Yossi’s fault that my kids are late going to bed every night because they just have to finish listening to every last word of every last song on the CD until they have the whole thing memorized down to the last laugh. It’s his fault that my kids are meticulous about making brachos, scrupulous about the 39 melachos, conscientious about davening, rigorous about fargining, fastidious about not talking to strangers, and punctilious about counting to thirteen hoo ha hoo ha ha! So, my fellow parents, if you suddenly find that your children are not only better comedians but also better Yidden since you bought the newest Kivi and Tuki album, you might just wanna “Count Your Blessings.”

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Dear Dr. D, I was recently told that I have signs of “Acid Erosion.” How did this happen and what can I do now? Sincerely, CThruTeeth Dear CThruTeeth, I often ask my younger patients “What is as brittle as glass and at the same time, the hardest substance in your body?” The answer is: Your tooth enamel! Each time you bite down it handles the equivalent of 160 pounds of pressure. Think about how often you bite down during your lifetime. Enamel is the hard outer layer of your teeth, built to protect the inner, more sensitive layers. It’s amazing how such a brittle substance handles all that pressure. Enamel is actually made up of a dense forest of long rods. These rods start crisscrossing each other as they go deeper into the tooth, diffusing the pressure. However, enamel is built to deal with pressure, but not erosion! As strong as your enamel is, it doesn’t deal as well with acid and bacteria. It needs our help for that. The four main ways your enamel can get worn down are: 1. Acidic breakdown (usually from acidic drinks like soda, fruits, fruit juices, and sports drinks.) 2. Abrasion from rough brushing and tooth-whitening toothpastes. 3. Bad habits like tooth-grinding. 4. High sugar-and-starch diets, which create acid byproducts. Your dentist will check for signs of acid erosion while examining for tooth decay and oral health. Signs we look for are “enamel weakness.” The acids in everyday food and drink can weaken enamel, making it easier to wear away. This shows as thinner-looking enamel. As more enamel wears away, teeth can become visibly thinner or transparent. As the enamel thins, the edges of your teeth can appear transparent or even see-through. The middle part of the tooth may seem more yellow as our weakened enamel is worn away, the more yellow dentine layer underneath can become more visible. Additionally, as the enamel wears away, our teeth may lose their shine, making them appear dull. Over time, not only can these effects get gradually worse, but teeth

may also become sensitive as the protective enamel disappears and the dentine layer below is exposed. You can start protecting your teeth today, to help stop Acid Erosion from getting any worse. Having an acid-rich diet can put your teeth at risk and this can happen more easily than you’d expect. As few as four acidic “occasions” throughout the day can put our enamel at risk from Acid Erosion, also known as Acid Wear. Knowing how acidic foods and drinks are can also help you protect your teeth from the effects of Acid Erosion. Some examples of high acidic foods include: lemon juice, red wine, sports drinks, tonic water, cherries, carbonated soft drinks including diet soda, oranges, plums, iced tea, blackberries, blueberries and strawberries, grapefruit juice, pickles, vinegar, apple sauce, apple juice, salad dressing, cranberries, orange juice, white wine, and tomatoes. For chemists and scientists, pH is a measure of how acidic (pH <7) or alkaline (pH >7 but less than 14) something is. For people concerned about an acidic diet and acid erosion, the most important thing to know is this: the lower the pH number, the more acidic a food or a drink is and the more harmful it is to your tooth enamel. For example, distilled water has a neutral pH of 7, while tomato juice might have a pH of 4 and lemon juice might have a pH of 2 - making the lemon juice the most acidic of the three. Knowing the pH value of the foods we eat and the beverages we drink help us have a clearer picture of how acidic our diet really is. And knowing the acidity of our diet is an important step in making sure we protect our tooth enamel from Acid Erosion. The rule of thumb is the lower the pH, the higher the acidity and therefore the higher the risk it may cause Acid Erosion. If you are unsure, you can always ask your dentist to look up the pH levels of your favorite foods. Here are some very simple steps we can all take to start protecting our enamel from Acid Erosion, starting today: 1. Make an appointment to see your dentist if you haven’t been in the past 6 months. 2. Don’t give up the healthy food in your diet, particularly fruit, but take a fresh look at how you eat it. If you’re eating something acidic, have water, milk, or another non-acidic food or drink with it. 3. Don’t swish, swirl or hold acidic drinks in your mouth for too long. 4. Many drinks, especially carbonated ones, can contribute to Acid Erosion. Try drinking through a straw, or substituting the carbonated drink for water. 5. Try not to brush your teeth immediately after eating or drinking but rather wait at least an hour. And make sure you’re using a soft-bristled brush. 6. Consider using a fluoride mouthwash along with a fluoride paste to give you extra protection from the effects of everyday acids. Your Enamel Is Finite So Treat It Well! As amazing as your enamel is, it’s one of the only parts of your body unable to regenerate itself because it’s one of the only parts of your body not comprised of living cells. So protect your enamel by brushing regularly, flossing, and keeping your regularly scheduled checkups.

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HEALTH & ADVICE

Dear Bubby If you would like advice from Bubby send your letters to: Bubby, c/o Country Yossi Family Magazine, 1310 48th Street, Suite 308 Brooklyn, New York 11219 or Fax to (718) 851-2510

GRAB A BROOM! Dear Bubby, My wife and I have been married for several years and like any couple, we’ve had our ups and downs. The two of us come from very different backgrounds and our families couldn’t be more different. My wife “Leah’s” mother is extremely laid back about everything, including the maintenance and upkeep of her home. This is in stark contrast to the way I grew up where everything was meticulous and tidy all the time. When Leah and I first got married I was concerned that she too may slack off in this area, but that is not really the case. Because she lives with me she makes more of an effort and so our home is always up to my standards. The problem, however, is when we visit and spend any amount of time by her parents. When we go for Shabbosim I literally cringe at the filth and mess that surrounds us. Mysteriously, Leah doesn’t seem to notice or care. She says that is how she grew up and she’s used to it. Frankly, I don’t know how anyone could get used to living like that. It’s hard for me get comfortable, sleep well, or even enjoy the meals knowing that the food, which is delicious, was prepared in an unkempt environment. I am not being overly critical or having really high expectations, I just can’t help but notice

the clutter and dust everywhere. I’ve stopped mentioning it to Leah when we are there because there is no point. After all, this is her family and our children’s grandparents and so I keep my mouth shut. I am now completely consumed with dread as we have agreed to spend Pesach with them because they are unable to walk the distance to be with us in our home. One would think that on Pesach of all times, cleaning would take place in excess. But that’s not true with my inlaws. They definitely get rid of the chometz, but somehow the mess remains - or maybe it’s just that as soon as the holiday begins it accumulates all over again. Loads of dirty dishes are everywhere, dirty floors… I simply can’t enjoy my Yom Tov knowing that I will be in that atmosphere. I have offered to hire and pay for cleaning help, but my inlaws laugh it off and claim it’s a ridiculous waste of money. I’m really at a loss, any advice would be appreciated. Yours Truly, Messy Madness Dear MM, This is one of those situations where two things come to mind: Step Up or Shut Up. I don’t mean to sound aggressive, so please don’t misunderstand. For the duration of time that you are in your in-laws’ home you have the option of chipping in with the cleaning, whether that means washing away some dishes or sweeping the floor between meals. You can help alleviate, if not completely solve, the cleanliness issue and perhaps your wife and kids could help out too. This, of course, would necessitate you stepping up and making a concerted effort toward a cleaner home. On the other hand, if this sounds unappealing to you for whatever reason, your other option is to keep your feelings in check. You have graciously agreed to spend the holiday with your wife’s parents. Aside from the issue at hand you haven’t mentioned any other grievances with your in-laws, so I’m assuming you enjoy their company, as do your kids and the “delicious food,” as you put it. Therefore, you have every reason to make the most of the Yom Tov, savor every moment and make memories to last a lifetime. Very often in life, and especially in relationships, we gain the most when we can look the other way. Not focusing on the negatives allows us to appreciate people and situations with less judgement and greater acceptance. The way we grow up very often seems like the right or better way. The reality is that there are many ways to be and each comes with its own set of pros and cons. Perhaps your in-laws’ home is lacking in upkeep but overflowing with hospitality and fun. It’s very important not to be overly judgmental of others because in the end you are harming yourself. Feelings of superiority can be very isolating and lonely. I don’t fault you for noticing the mess, but rather for letting it get you down. And by the way, just because your in-laws laughed off the offer of cleaning help doesn’t mean you can’t insist on it anyway. Generous gestures are always appreciated, especially before Pesach. Hope this Pesach allows us all to tidy more than just our homes, Love, Bubby

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APRIL 2015

I S R A E L

A Dumb Passover for a Sore-Losing President By Dov Shurin

always thank Hashem for my stupidity. I mean, people say that being dumb is a blessing of sorts. Ignorance equals bliss! Except, of course, if you’re the president of the United States. It takes a lot of ‘smarts’ to run the country and the world properly. So I would urge our President to NOT be a sore loser. You tried, you funneled money into what was called, “V15,” you sent a team over to Israel to teach the Arab citizens the advantages of a ‘Gush,’ a ‘Block,’ which should give the leftists a vote of 61, exactly what is needed to declare a government. This, after all, was how Rabin did it in ‘92, with just 5 Arab votes and afterwards, with enough incentive, he enticed the 6-seat Shas party to join him! So now you hoped it would be a larger anti-Israel Arab gush that would change the face of Israel from Netanyahu to Hertzog. But Netanyahu was well aware of your tampering into Israel’s democratic process. For three days he singlehandedly fought to win the awareness of his nation. His most powerful line was: “They have a V15 but we all have a ‘tzav Shmona’ (an 8 command)” which is what reserves soldiers receive when they are ordered to war. And throngs of citizens who were going to vote for smaller parties, gave the Likud an astounding victory! Now how does this tie into our President having a very ‘happy’ dumb Passover? Let me take you to the portion of Va’yishlach. After throwing the Jews out of Egypt, having sustained 10 agonizing plagues, all of a sudden the Pharaoh had a ‘change of heart,’ and the Egyptians began chasing the chil-

dren of Israel, until they ALL drowned in the sea. Now, wasn’t that dumb? Or should I say the epitome of dumbness? The obvious question is, how did they become that dumb? The answer is revealed to us in the ‘Song of the Sea,’ which our nation chanted on the seventh day of Pesach, glorifying our Maker for the historic splitting of the sea and drowning of the Egyptians. I take you to Shmos 15 verse 16. In Hebrew it starts, “tepul ahlehem a’moso vo’fachad…” and it ends with the words - “yidmu ko’even.” Let me present the translation by the renowned Shamshon Refael Hirsch zt’l: “May fear and dread overtake them; since Your Arm is Mighty, may they be stricken DUMB AS STONE!” This translation is most becoming, as in the words of Aaron Hakohen when, after his sons were consumed by a strange fire, the Holy Torah states; “Vayeedom Aaron,” meaning Aaron remained SILENT, and did not protest his children’s death. So the word dumb seems clearly to be a Hebrew-derived word. Now let’s return to the words ‘Yidmoo k’even.’ We are all well acquainted with this verse because it is recited following our monthly blessing of the new moon. We say “Baruch Yotzrech” etc., then we state beautifully, “Just as I dance beneath you and cannot touch you, so too may my foes be unable to harm me.” But we now arrive at this verse from the sea song, and we suddenly say it forwards and ALSO backwards. It’s weird but we do it unquestioningly! I’ve been searching famous Seforim and I’ve been asking Torah scholars. But to no avail, no explanation was found!

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But Reb Boruch Chusain Obama and his look-alike, the Egyptian Pharoah, have in fact given us the Pshat! Because when the fear and dread of the Mighty Arm of Hashem has turned them into dumb stones, they can’t even ‘punch themselves out of a paper bag!’ And they think that they need to go backwards till the ‘TEEPUL,’ which means ‘drop them, or cause them to fall.’ Rashi, at the beginning of Bereshis, states that, “The Torah should have begun with ‘Parshas Ha’Chodesh’ with the verse, Hachodesh hazeh lo’chem!” Just as the moon returns anew, so too does the Jew! And may I ask you to notice that in the ‘Shmone Esrei’ of Rosh Chodesh we end with the blessing: “Blessed are You, Hashem, who sanctifies Israel and ‘Roshei Chodoshim,’ meaning the beginnings of the months. This is not exactly correct Hebrew. It should have stated: V’roshei Chodesh, meaning; and the beginnings of each month. But there is our little secret. Because ‘Rosh’ mean also ‘a head!’ And the secret meaning of the blessing is: He sanctifies the Nation of Israel and how they HAVE NEW HEADS WITH EACH MONTH! Let me end with a story from the amazing new Sefer TNT written by ‘Anonymous,’ that I had the privilege to recite on the radio: Reb Chaim Shmuelevitch, the Mashgiach of Mir zt’l, asked a man who survived the death camps for five years: “What gave you the strength to survive?” The man answered that of course he couldn’t keep any mitzvos, working from morning till night. But one mitzvah they did do - ‘Kidush Livona,’ and to be very brief, he understood that the renewal of the moon was a glory to mankind. This gave him the power to survive! (Get the book for the full story.) Let me end by urging President Obama to do the smartest thing he can do, and ‘Move Forward’ (his campaign slogan). Release Johnathan Pollard, so that we can stop having an empty chair for him at our Pesach Seder. And turn your very dumb Passover into the smartest move you could ever make. A smart Passover to all! Dovshurin@yahoo.com

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CONTROVERSY

TODAY’S TOPIC: Does a parent have a right to break a computer bought by a child? Emmet My 16-year-old son bought himself a computer and watches movies which we don’t approve of. Would you suggest we break it?

Miriam377 Don’t break it. That will create more harm than good. Try to find out where it came from. It doesn’t help that a High School boy’s yeshiva has a grueling schedule and to him it may seem the only way to relax.

Pixelate Break it? Why? So you can help solidify his cut-apart feelings? If he already had the confidence and gall to buy a computer, things can only spiral downward if you act rashly. Go speak to an open-minded Rav who has dealt with teens. There are so many factors involved, and so many possible influences on him either too hard to the right, or too soft to the left, etc. Maybe he needs a computer. Rationalizing to break his computer at first thought may give insight into the rigidity of your own thought process, which may be part of the problem, or not. Everyone would agree that watching movies is not an optimal form of entertainment for a Jewish teen. But there are many avenues of Jewish Orthodoxy, and despite your particular persuasion and level of frumkeit, you may need to take a step back to differentiate between the pressures of your neighborhood’s culture, and true daas Torah of what your son really needs to develop into a ben Torah. His needs may include smashing the computer, or not.

The Goq Tell him very calmly, “We don’t believe in having computers in our house. We would like for you to sell or perhaps donate it.” Tell him you understand that he needs an outlet to relax, but you feel this is not right for him.

Apushatayid You are his parents. You have a right to set boundaries for what he is and is not allowed to do at home. If he purchased a computer, great. You have a right to tell him that it must be properly filtered according to your standards if he wants to use it in your home. If he does not comply, don’t let him use it. Why would you want to break it? What do you accomplish by that? Jbaldy22 Apushatayid, we are talking about a 16-year-old kid here. What you have a right to tell him is not really relevant. How do you propose not letting him use it if he doesn’t comply? Additionally, any filter you install he will be able to get around if he wants to. This is a situation where a Rav is a necessity. Parents taking unilateral actions in this sort of situation are extremely counterproductive and at best ineffective. My own kind of jew I would argue that a parent does not have the right to break something that their child bought on his/her own. Granted, there might be extreme exceptions, but I don’t think a computer is one of them. Furthermore, breaking it would probably cause a large rift between yourself and your child, and would likely increase the problem in the long run anyway. Have you tried sitting down with your child and asking him why he watches movies that bother you, and perhaps try to come to some sort of agreement?

Sam2 Unless he paid for it with your money, it is Assur to break it. It is Assur to damage someone else’s property, even your child’s. Yehudayona I suspect the parents wouldn’t be happy if the son was watching these movies on somebody else’s computer either. It’s a chiyuv to destroy an avoda zara or an asheira even if it would make a good doorstop or telephone pole.

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Sam2 Yehudayona: Avodah Zarah has an Issur Hana’ah, so it’s Muttar to destroy because it has no value to the owner. Something that is destructive (to others) but has value cannot be destroyed by a random person; you have to take the owner to Beis Din.

Charliehall A 16-year-old is a halachically responsible adult. Any aveirot are his, not yours. I second the comments suggesting that you talk to a Rav.

Jbaldy22 Yehudayona: Again, the question of whether you are “allowed” to or not I don’t think is relevant. The question is what “should” you do. I do not think breaking the computer will be helpful in any way, shape or form. If movies are the primary concern, one can buy a tablet for under $50 these days that is easily capable of watching whatever one wants. These things have become disposable. I know of a case where my Rosh Yeshiva destroyed an mp3 player with video capability and then went and paid the guy in full for the value of it. I do not know if he held that was m’ikur hadin or not. Additionally, I think he may have had some misconceptions about what it did when he destroyed it. I will have to ask him next time I speak to him.

Emmet We made Aliyah about seven years ago. My son is seeing an Israeli therapist who insisted that we break it. I am more open-minded and disagreed with her approach, fearing that it would only cause greater damage.

Redleg Chazal prohibit a parent from striking a grown child als lifnei iver. The fear is that the grown child might strike back and be guilty of a capital offense. That reasoning would seem to apply in this case. Taking such drastic action against his son would, quite possibly, cause the son to react is such a way as to be oiver an issur missah, C’S.

Jbaldy22 Emmet: The fact that he is seeing a therapist is good. However, I have to say that something sounds extremely fishy about this therapist as that is not how therapists typically operate (or are supposed to operate). I would suggest that you have a Rav involved asap. Is your son aware that the therapist insisted this? And if so, how exactly is this “therapy” supposed to work?

Zahavasdad If you break the computer, what do you think will be accomplished? Do you think your son will learn more, or do you think he will just get angrier and sneak around more and not tell you what he is doing? You need to give yourself an honest answer, not what you want the answer to be.

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Yehudayona A computer is by no means Avodah Zorah. Nobody (as far as I know) worships a computer and believes it to be a higher power, or a servant of higher power. It is simply a tool to increase your standard of living and work. Icantbelieveimpostingonywn The idea of breaking the computer would be great if your son would be the one doing the breaking because it may be akin to an avodah zarah for him. But it is not intrinsically that, and for you or another authority figure to break his stuff is begging for serious relationship damage. Hatzlacha rabah, there’s no such thing as hugging your son too much. Apushatayid You have my vote if you want to break the therapist’s computer. Oomis I cannot even read this thread in its entirety. Yes, you absolutely should break his computer. That is, if you want him to NEVER trust you again, possibly push him off the derech, and have him consider suing you (and in civil court at least, you would probably be liable). Whether or not it is right for him to have a computer, which he bought with HIS OWN MONEY, you are not dealing with someone who bought illegal drugs, for example (which I believe should be flushed down the toilet by parents if they find them). Though computers have downsides to them, they can have very positive aspects of usage as well, and that is what should be emphasized. Don’t cause irreparable harm by an impulsive action. Talk to your son, express your feelings, and then examine those feelings. Perhaps he can be made to understand your concerns. And find wholesome ways for him to utilize this device, which really can be amazing when used in the right way, like so many other things that we use every day. BeitarYid This is a very serious CHINUCH question that requires more than a bunch of comments from strangers. I did confiscate a machine from my 15-year-old and have it in hiding for almost an entire year. My son is pretty cool with it and has actually had a very good year. Occasionally he asks for it back and I change the subject. I did not turn him off by doing something rash, nor did I let him destroy his life (this world and the next) by letting him watch all the Tumah. Every kid, parent, family is different and must handle things in a way that fits the individual situation. There are many Chinuch experts in Israel to speak with: R’ Orloweck, R’ Brezack, R’ Rotman, etc. You must get Hadracha from a Chinuch expert. It’s Pikuach Nefesh on both sides. Brachavehatzlocha Rav Shternbuch has a teshuvah in Teshuvos V’Hanhagos the other way around. A grown child who was chozer b’teshuvah and married and had a family asked the following question: When they take their kids to visit their non-religious grandparents, the grandchildren watch TV (which the frum parents don’t approve of). The sheilah was can/should they break the TV so the kids can’t watch it? Rav Shternbuch answers that you can’t break other people’s property, even though TV is a very bad thing. He suggests talking to the grandparents and asking them to make some accommodation.

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Country Yossi Family Magazine

APRIL 2015

AH LIVING EMUNAVID ASHEAR - ARTSCROLL RABBI D THE NURSE OWITZ - ARTSCROLL PIA WOLC ILL WORKS HOW FREE W IEBERMAN - FELDHEIM DOVID L K7 PEOPLE SPEA ALDER - ARTSCROLL CHAIM W HEADLINES ICHTENSTEIN - TARGUM PRESS DOVID L ARTSCROLL ER, LCSW G ER B N EI W MORDECHAI ERSE S OF THE UNIV R E D N O W & E WISDOM EXPLORING TH ARARI - ISRAEL BOOKSHOP EFRAIM H H WISDOM GREAT JEWIS OSHE BAMBERGER - ARTSCROLL RABBI M ALIVE

VES ORANGE GRO OMERANTZ - TARGUM PRESS RACHEL P RISKY GAME HAK KEEVAK - ISRAEL BOOKS LEVI YITZC

HOP

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1. Simchas Hachaim 4 - Aderet 2. With All My Soul - Benny Friedman - Aderet 3. Dovid Hamelech - Eli Marcus - Aderet

1. Pesach Inter'n Chevraya - Nigun 2. Simchas Hachaim 4 - Aderet 3. Moleh Simcha - Nigun

1. With All My Soul - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Borchaini - Yehuda Green - Aderet 3. Second Dance 2 - Aderet

APRIL 2015 1. Moleh Simcha - Nigun 2. Simchas Hachaim 4 - Aderet 3. Pesach Inter'n Chevraya - Nigun

IMPORTANT NOTE These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area. The list does not reflect total sales of any CD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!). The list is designed to be an indication of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently popular in New York. Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations. 106

1. With All My Soul - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Dovid Hamelech - Eli Marcus - Aderet 3. Second Dance 2 - Aderet

1. Dovid Hamelech - Eli Marcus - Aderet 2. Borchaini - Yehuda Green - Aderet 3. Second Dance 2 - Aderet

1. With All My Soul - Benny Friedman - Aderet 2. Borchaini - Yehuda Green - Aderet 3. Dovid Hamelech - Eli Marcus - Aderet

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1. Twins Offline - Aderet 2. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 3. Shape Fitness 2 - Aderet

1. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 2. Bechatzros Kodsheinu - Aderet 3. Blessing in Disguise - Tobi Einhorn & Chavi Klein

1. Blessing in Disguise - Tobi Einhorn & Chavi Klein 2. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 3. Shape Fitness 2 - Aderet

APRIL 2015 1. Twins Offline - Aderet 2. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 3. Alexandra - Aderet

IMPORTANT NOTE 1. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 2. Twins Offline - Aderet 3. Shape Fitness 2 - Aderet

1. Itchy and Mitchy - Aderet 2. Twins Offline - Aderet 3. Pollyanna - Regal Productions

1. Pollyanna - Regal Productions 2. Megillas Lester - Aderet 3. Twins Offline - Aderet

These ratings are supplied by the 7 major Jewish music outlets listed here, based on their actual sales over the last thirty days in the Greater New York area. The list does not reflect total sales of any DVD. It does not include sales in other stores, cities or countries (Israel!). The list is designed to be an indication of whatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s currently popular in New York. Although every effort has been made to ensure fairness and accuracy, this list is published for entertainment purposes only and Country Yossi Family Magazine is not responsible for any inaccuracies or misrepresentations. 109

APRIL 2015

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H U M O R

The ArT of PesAch food shoPPing

“

rab that lamb! Put your tongue back in! Take the whole shelf!” These are some of the cries you’re likely to hear at the supermarket during Pesach food shopping season. Food is flying off the shelves on all sides. People are grabbing grocery items from everywhere, making sure to leave nothing over for the next day. Everyone knows that the secret to a good dish is the ingredients you put in. The better the ingredient you start with, the better the dish you end up with will be. This little culinary tidbit is very apparent from the Pesach shopping habits of Boro Park residents. All the best meats, the nicest and juiciest cuts are put out on display at the local supermarket. The flesh of every kosher animal is proudly paraded in the refrigerated aisle of the store. Walking down the meat aisle you can clearly see the bright red beef, the pink veal, the thick lamb chops, the exotic venison and the never-ending rack of ribs. Then there’s the fowl. Chicken, turkey, pheasant, duck, goose and even dove. There’s an animal or a bird for every taste. People are milling about the store, recipes in hand, putting together the ultimate ingredient medley. Flavor profiles of all kinds are being established. Ensembles of food are being put together right there in the aisle. People are placing all different ingredients next to each other just to see and smell how they will work together. The aisle becomes the canvas, or rather the impromptu test kitchen, of the foodie.

Sometimes, when sight and smell will not suffice, a nibble will be in order just to make sure. You by happenstance come upon one aisle that’s flooded with people. The noise is deafening and the crowd is amazingly overwhelming. You have no idea what’s going on there but it looks like it’s something good. You drop everything you’re holding and rush your three shopping carts towards the commotion. You can barely push your way through; only one cart will make it. You pull out your bicycle chain and lock down your other carts and make a mad dash for the crowd. You don’t even take a breath and just keep pushing on past all the drooling patrons. You finally make it to the aisle in question and you see the butcher carrying three trays of prime rib steak. The butcher looks tired, very tired. He’s walking while holding the trays high above his head, which is still only four feet and nine inches above the ground. He slowly lowers the trays from high above, getting ready to place the choice cuts on the shelf. However, to his surprise, he ends up putting out on the shelf three sad, empty trays. He’s been beaten to it by an ever-vigilant crowd of shoppers. The poor guy never stood a chance. The butcher, feeling oh-so-dejected, heads back to his station to cut some more meat for the hoards. He pulls out half a cow from the fridge and proceeds to set it down on his block. Before he can raise his cleaver there are fifty people standing right at his nose, firmly gripping the piece of beef he is about to chisel off.

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“Are you going to cut this piece of meat? Are you putting out more meat soon? What kind of meat is this? How much does it weigh? How much does it cost?” These are the questions being hurled ad-hoc at this poor butcher. He luckily is able to stop his cleaver midair from striking three noses, five ears and a dozen digits. “Can I have some space please, so that I can cut some more meat for you guys?” he begs. Everyone rolls their carts back about a centimeter and takes a little baby step back. The butcher raises his knife again and attempts to hack off a piece of steak. Before the knife even lands someone has grabbed the side of beef and made off with it. It’s not that these patrons are especially difficult to deal with, it’s just that they are really good shoppers. Some people are good taxi drivers, others are good surgeons and these people are just very good shoppers. Truthfully, the taxi-driving and surgeon skills do come in handy with shopping anyway. As a good shopper you cannot ever turn away a good deal. It just goes against all the principals of shopping to do so. Good food at a good price equals a good deal - having to stalk, grab and maim for it only makes it a much better deal. Chaptzem is a Heimishe blogger that authors the Chaptzem Blog, the most popular Heimishe web-site. The Chaptzem Blog has been quoted many times in the mainstream media and is viewed by thousands daily. www.chaptzem.blogspot.com

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H U M O R JEWS NOT WELCOME My oldest son was “scheduled” to be born on a Tuesday in May - but my wife suddenly went into labor on a Shabbos right before Pesach. Panicstricken and completely unprepared, I quickly decided to call a car service to take us to the hospital. In order to minimize the violation of Shabbos, however, I insisted to the dispatcher that he send only a nonJewish driver. When the car arrived, my wife and I quickly jumped in. As the driver merged into traffic, we heard the dispatcher buzz in on the two-way radio to ask, “Frank, did you pick up those anti-Semites yet?” S.L. Monsey

DRIVEN TO DRINK

THROUGH ALL THE BAD

remembered that a tall, handsome boy with the same name had been in my high school class some 50 years ago. Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was too old to have been my classmate. After he had examined my teeth, though, I found myself asking him if he had attended the local yeshiva. “Yes,” he replied. “When did you graduate?” I asked. “In 1952.” “Why, you were in my class!” I exclaimed. He looked at me closely and asked, “What did you teach?” W.T. TIMES Flatbush

A man had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet his wife stayed at his bedside every single day. One day, when he finally came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?” “What, dear?” she gently asked, smiling, as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck.”

After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest kashrus assignment, my mother wearily arrived at the airport in France with my eight siblings and me - all under age 11 at the time. After collecting our many suitcases, the 10 of us entered the cramped customs area. A young customs official watched our entourage in disbelief. “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this luggage belong to you?” “Yes, sir,” my mother sighed. “They’re all mine.” The customs agent began his interrogation: “Ma’am, do you have any weapons, contraband or illegal drugs in your possession?” “Sir,” she calmly answered, “if I’d had any of those items, I would have used them by now.” M.C.L. Edison

OLD FRIENDS While waiting in the reception room for my first appointment with a new dentist, I noticed his certificate, which bore his full name. Suddenly I

INSTRUMENT OF TORTURE My parents recently retired. My mother had always wanted to learn to play the piano, so my father bought her one for her retirement gift. A few weeks later, I asked them how the lessons were going. “Oh, we returned the piano,” said my dad. “I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead.” “How come?” I asked. “Well,” he answered, “because with a clarinet, she can’t sing.” R.P. Washington Heights

Send your true anecdotes, embarrassing moments, bright sayings, real life experiences, or any interesting incident relating to Jewish life in America to: COUNTRY YOSSI MAGAZINE, 1310 48th Street, Brooklyn, New York 11219. All printed submissions will receive free tapes or another valuable prize. Winners should bring legal I.D. PRIZES WILL NOT BE MAILED

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H U M O R

o, what do you say about the weather we had on Purim? Such weather you’d expect for Chanukah!! For shalach monos I gave out latkes, applesauce and snow shovels. Now I don’t know how it is in your house, but in mine, as soon as the shalach monos starts rolling in, the kids divide all the stuff evenly amongst themselves and put it away “SOMEWHERE!” Well, now that I started cleaning for Pesach I discovered where “SOMEWHERE” is. My sons can run a canteen from their closet, my daughters filled up all their shoe bag compartments and one child hid all the stuff he REALLY likes under his mattress. Do you know what happens when you put cupcakes with icing under a mattress?? I quickly ran to get my Effective Parenting Book to see how to deal with the situation but everything I felt like doing to him was listed under “WRONG WAY.” In frustration I slammed the book shut and whacked him on his backside with it. Now THAT was “EFFECTIVE!” Have you ever noticed how a week or two before Pesach people ask you, SO - where are you going for Pesach? Why? If I tell them I’m staying home do they plan to invite me to THEIR house? It seems that all my friends are “LOCKING UP” their houses and staying with various relatives or at POSH HOTELS. Me, no such luck! I’ll be staying at the exclusive “KUCHLEFFEL MANOR.” Not by chance mind you - but because, no one will have me. Every year I call up my mother, MA - How would you like it if I moved in for Pesach? And every year she tells me the same thing. Kayla, you’ll be

more comfortable in your own house, and besides, you live right upstairs. Not to mention you have seven rooms and I have a studio apartment! So I call my Shviger. Shviger Laybin, how would you like us for the whole Pesach? Kayla, she replied, how would you like me and the Shver for

ANOTHER KAYL A CL ASSIC

to Gate 3 like nothing happened. My husband, who was shlepping my two shaitel boxes, my “SKUNK” coat and his tallis zekel refused to acknowledge me and walked on ahead. The kids were doubled over in laughter. Of course the flight was delayed by two hours. When we finally landed and went to claim our luggage, I saw one of our suitcases had split open and all our underwear was spinning around on the baggage claim ramp. Another suitcase, which contained my clothes, got lost and I sat at the seder in my denim skirt, sneakers and Mickey Mouse sweatshirt. Who needed that?? Ever since then, I stay home. The truth is once Yom Tov begins it’s very enjoyable. The problem starts on Chol Hamoed. What do you do for an entire week with kids ranging in ages from 2 16? Right away they start - I hope you’re not taking us to the Aquarium AGAIN?? How did they know?? So one year we splurged and went to Great Adventures. It cost me $300 in admission fees (and that’s with the discount coupon on the soda bottle.) We had to wait 45 minutes to get on each ride, it started to rain and it took four hours to get home!! Never again. But a great idea would be for someone to charter buses and take ALL the kids on a cross county tour. They would leave Sunday night right after the first days and come back two hours before you bentch licht. The parents would be happy because the kids won’t be around to nag them and the kids would be happy because it’s something they’ve never done before! So what if it would cost a small fortune - isn’t that why it’s called Pesach? Because for everything you “PAY A SACH!!” Have a Chag Kosher V’sameach.

K ay l a Kuchle f fe l HOME ALONE

the whole Pesach? “NEVER MIND!” I hung up and ended up staying home making Pesach myself. Of course they invite me for a meal here and there, but it’s not the same as “LOCKING UP.” The one time I did go away, I flew to my sister in Canada. Now that was a disaster. To begin with - I packed every article of clothing we owned “JUST IN CASE.” For carry on luggage I had four shopping bags filled with cake and two with jars of knaidlach and soup. I get our tickets and see that we board at Gate 3. Of course the terminal that we enter at begins with Gate 60 and we have to walk a mile shlepping these heavy bags. Af tzluchus, the shopping bag containing the soup tore open, the jars broke, the soup spilled and knaidlach rolled all over the place. I picked up my sopping wet ticket that fell out of my mouth for lack of anyplace else to keep it and proceeded

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Inspiration… Cont. from Page 54 from here, a few mutters from there, and a few more murmurs from thither and yon? I sometimes invite guests for Shabbos, but do I make the effort to sweep under the couches and between the chair legs, making sure that everybody I know is taken care of and provided for? What about the elderly neighbor next door whose children live in Eretz Yisroel. What about the 28year old single who rents an apartment by herself down the block, or the widow I know from shul who has to make kiddush for her children every week on her own. Am I sweeping them also into my pile of hachnosas orchim, or am I just skirting right around them, because it’s so much easier? After thirty-odd years of living and sweeping, if I take a good look at all the dust motes I’ve managed to collect into a mound, will they really amount to anything significant? What about all the corners I cut through, all the important specks I left behind? When I make brachos throughout the day; when I get the household ready

for Yom Tov; when I greet my husband after a long day at work - is there any orderliness involved in these tasks? Do I set a good example for my children when I carry out all that Hashem asks of me, or do I, like Shimmy, just want to get it done and be finished with it? After 120 years, when my job of sweeping the dining room floor is completed, will I be able to competently brush all my accomplishments onto the shovel of mishpat and garner favor in the eyes of Hakodosh Baruch Hu - or will I have a hard time balancing the broom because my deeds have fallen short? Will I be able to meet the eyes of my mikatrigim straight on, proud of all the crumbs I’ve managed to gather in my defense - or will I be forced to sweep my feeble, unenthusiastic attempts at righteousness under the rug crumbs, flecks, specks and all? When Hashem looks at the achievements of my lifetime, He will not be satisfied with a job that’s “Not bad.” Because unless it’s a three year old wielding the broom, “not bad” is just not good enough.

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WHAT’S NEW

AROUND TOWN RABBI SHMUEL KUNDA Z’L DUS VINDERLICHE YARMULKA

t’s finally here! The long-awaited Yiddish version of a Shmuel Kunda Classic, at long last within the reach of Yiddish speakers everywhere! This beautiful new album features a line by line, rhyme by rhyme, song by song faithful translation of the original best-selling album The Magic Yarmulka, along with great acting, fantastic songs, music, choir, child soloists, and realistic sound effects. “For years, it was a dream of my father’s to have his albums redone in Yiddish,” says Zalmy Kunda, R’ Shmuel’s son. “And B”H, that day has arrived! We’re excited that the Yiddish speaking community will now get a chance to enjoy and love the beloved story and songs that sold hundreds of thousands of copies in its original English version.” Dus Vinderliche Yarmulka was produced by Shimmy Shtauber, and features the 8 original classic songs by Rabbi Shmuel Kunda, sung by the amazing and popular Shir V’shevach Boys Choir conducted by Chaim Meir Fligman. Distributed by Concord Music

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ALPhABeTicAL AdVerTiser direcTorY A THRU Z/MOTOR VEHICLE SERVICES ......(718) 686-1405 ..................................3

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