CHRYSALIS
ALESSANDRO DEMARIA
“To
the Muccioli family, for making my transformation possible...
To all the past, present and future chrysalises of SanPa...“
WHAT IS SAN PATRIGNANO?
San Patrignano is a charitable community, mainly dedicated to the recovery of people with problems related to drug addiction. It was founded by Vincenzo Muccioli in 1978, a period in which the heroin consumption boom exploded in Italy, and the victims of this new drug were mostly abandoned to themselves, both by the institutions and by their families, the latter unable to deal with this new reality. It is located on the Rimini hills of Coriano, on land inherited from the aforementioned Muccioli's wife, Antonietta, who later also worked alongside him in this work.
The guests of the community are also reintegrated into the world of work, through the learning of various trades, including cabinet-making, furrier's, butcher's, gardening, typography, bakery, cooking.....
Equestrian competitions, dog or cat shows also take place within the community; some episodes of the Italian talk show "Maurizio Costanzo Show" were then filmed, as well as other high-impact events.
In its long history, the community faced several controversies, including the "chain case" in 1980. After a complaint made by a girl who had run away from the community, the police found some boys locked in the kennel and tied with chains. Muccioli was arrested, despite the fact that at that time his method, albeit extreme, was the only way to allow the kids to overcome the
withdrawal crisis and prevent them from running away to get drugs. For these reasons, Muccioli was acquitted on appeal, despite the first conviction. In May 1989 a boy was killed inside the "piggery" sector by his manager and his body was subsequently transported near Naples to throw off the investigation. The fact came to light four years later with the complaint of an eyewitness. Muccioli was acquitted for not having committed the crime, obviously, but convicted for having hidden the incident, in order to preserve his creation, that is, the community, from the media assault and a probable closure. Subsequently, three suicides also occurred of people who were in punitive seclusion at the time, which had a strong media echo.
Despite these controversies, the Community of San Patrignano boasts the welcoming of over 26 thousand people, over the years, the majority of whom have solved their problems, which led them to drug addiction and other sad realities. In 2011 the management of the community, which had been entrusted to Andrea, eldest son of Vincenzo who had died on 19 September 1995, passed to the Moratti family, previously very close to the Muccioli family.
The community still works in the recovery of drug addicts, albeit with more modern methods and with greater support from external associations and public opinion.
AUTHOR'S NOTE
A few years ago, a famous Italian actress wrote a phrase about "day zero".
"It's a moment in which you don't win and you don't lose" he wrote, "but we start again. We move away from the people who become memories... It's called day zero, because what follows zero is always a beginning and in the beginning you don't know defeat".
This was San Patrignano for me. A rebirth. I had several other "rebirths" in my life, but that was definitely the most important. Because it also marked the passage from youth to adulthood. And it wasn't easy to decide to describe my journey within the community. Not so much because SanPa has always been seen and described in a rather controversial way. But because my point of view is rather singular, if compared to the "everything and more" that has been written so far about this community. Because no one has ever talked about a gay person inside San Patrignano. No one has ever combined these two themes, which are very current in this recent period, in a single book. And there is the risk of falling, obviously, into gossip.
But I wanted to give my testimony. To make it clear that San Patrignano is much more than a simple community, with a controversial history.
It is a school of life. It is a period in which one temporarily leaves the world, and then re-enters it completely transformed.
Prelude
Writing or talking about San Patrignano is always a very controversial decision. Because SanPa, as those of us who have been there usually call it, has a history, and it itself is controversial. Even though it is a charitable association, comparable to a family of more than a thousand people, people forget a very famous saying in their judgements. “Problems exist even in the best families.” And we are talking about a large family made up of people who have had a particular background. Unfortunately we live in a society where everyone wants to have the presumption of being able to judge, preferably in a negative way, for various reasons. Through ignorance. Because they weren't able to do the same. Because they have been there, but without satisfactory results. The classic story of the fox and the grapes, basically.
I can only speak positively about SanPa. I too have had my difficulties, my difficult moments, the temptations to which I have given in, and at the end of my journey I did not leave in a particularl y brilliant way. Let's say that if we were to compare it to a school (since it is a school of life) I would not have been exactly a model student.
But it is undeniable that it transformed me, that it helped me and today I have a friendship with those who were once part of my community family.
It is not easy to describe those 3 years and a little more from the point of view of a homosexual boy. But not because of
difficulties or discrimination. I never once had this kind of problem in there. But because there is a risk of falling into gossip at any cost. Especially in this period, where both issues (homosexuality and San Patrignano) are once again at the top of the news.
I hope that the reader's spirit does not stop at the search for gossip, but that it goes beyond, to simply see a different point of view, within what was, for me, a family.
It was 5 January 1998. My sister was celebrating her 11th birthday in Mondovì. Until then I had been a caterpillar, now the real transformation would take place. Now I became a chrysalis.
When I entered the large hall which served as the dining room I almost fainted. A thousand people. I had heard of SanPa as a large community, but I wasn't prepared for so many people. I learned in the following days that it was more of a village than a real community, even if it maintained its purpose: saving people, mainly from drugs. While I looked around, astonished and intimidated, I was made to sit at one of the tables of what would later become my sector. Restoration or, a more precise term, cabinet making. But I also realized their choice only a few days later. In fact, that evening I had a mixture of emotions, which prevented me from understanding anything. First, the amazement. I came from a community of about ten people, where the purpose didn't seem to solve one's own problems, but to feel superior to others based on other people's problems. Here, however, that crowd was just curious about the new arrival, in fact questions rained down on me left and right, so much so that I struggled to answer. Then tiredness. I had been traveling all day, fasting, and the idea of finally being able to sit down seemed like a dream. Especially sitting and eating. There followed the confusion in my head. I was coming from a situation that I had deluded myself into thinking could help me solve my problems... or at least find out the cause. Instead, it was more than a year of my life literally
thrown to the wind, which had only added more problems. First and foremost, an idiot who had decided that because I was gay and the loser of the situation, I had to be his sexual satisfaction, since there was nothing else better. This was the thing that gnawed at me the most. I couldn't accept something like that, and I was also angry with myself because I had waited so long before putting an end to this squalid situation by leaving. While in the confusion I tried to answer the questions, I searched among all those heads to see if I could see my cousin. One of the leaders explained to me that the next day I would meet the son of the founder of the community, Andrea. I explained briefly my health problems and my situation. All while voraciously devouring dinner.
When I mentioned my homosexuality, hesitatingly, I was answered, “You’re not the only one in here. Look around yourself. Here we have everything. But you must also learn to live your homosexuality with dignity.” The kind and friendly way in which I was answered heartened me and filled me with hope. A year earlier, a doctor had replied to me, almost sneering, that it wasn't normal. Now a person, who had certainly caused damage and mess in society in the past, practically replied to me that this did not prevent me from being one of them. Note the substantial difference.
I was entrusted to a boy, Fulvio, who would be the one who "would follow me". This means a person, who has been in the community for about a year, who for a few months helps another boy to fit into the community, to learn its rules, to overcome the initial difficulties.
He practically becomes its shadow, and this often leads to arguments. Because a boy who enters the community, especially at first, is not very used to the rules. This is primarily the cause of the problems they bring to the community. I was accompanied to my room, which I would share with about a dozen people. I was too tired to go and see the film that was shown in the evening on the giant screen on the pitch, or to visit the community. So chatting with Fulvio I put my things in my locker, after which we stayed in the room. He told me his story. He had his girlfriend outside who was waiting for him to get married, and he was there because of problems related to alcoholism.