A Lonely Starry Night

By: Sebastián Mejía, 11°

I couldn’t seem to fathom the magnitude of what had just occurred. Right after it happened, time froze, and stood still in that singular second. For minutes, for hours, for days, and for [GCTU/[ GPVKTG NKHG ƀCUJGF DGHQTG O[ G[GUI lived every single moment again, as I felt it all vanish before my eyes. I regret everything I ever did, but what I had just done had surpassed the horror of anything else.

Horrid isn’t the proper way to describe it; it was more than that.

Was there even a reason? I’m not sure. It’s hard to explain, but it’s certainly

WPLWUVKſCDNG + HGNVit coming though. I always did. The way everything led up to this moment was like when a car loses its brakes and strays forward; unstoppable, headed for its destruction. Until it crashes, and everything around it explodes.

I was born in a small town, and I lived in a small town for all my life. The sun always set by the window of my mother’s bedroom. I remember because around the time it set, she was leaving for work. She always spent the night working. She never told me what she did, but CU +ITGYQNFGT +ſIured it out. I didn’t have a father, or a sister or a brother. We were alone.

I went to school and I was lonely. All the kids looked at me funny, like something was wrong with me. I couldn’t tell what though. I wanted that to change and have friends and all that, but with time, I grew more and more despondent. I started to believe that everyone I knew (including myself) should turn to smoke, and rise up to the sky where we could all be free. Maybe that’s what I was thinking when I did what I FKF CPF OC[DG O[ FTGCO JCF ſPCNN[ EQOGtrue. For what cost though?

That night, the sky was full of stars, like every night in my town. I always wished I could ƀ[KPVQVJGUM[CPFUNKEGVJGOWRYKVJCDTGCFknife. All of those cut down stars giving off inſPKVGNKIJV + YKUJGF + EQWNF GCVVJGO WR CPFGZRNQFGQTƀ[CYC[*QPGUVN[+FKFPQVMPQYwhat would happen, but it was my only true desire. The stars had always illuminated my path, but never more so than that night. I was tasked with a simple objective: deliver a package to the church in the center of town. I wasn’t supposed to know what was inside, but I decided to peek. I found a candle. It was very small, probCDN[JCNHVJGUK\GQHO[NKVVNGſPIGT6JGRCEMage also contained a match, and a handkerchief. I didn’t know what they were for, but I headed for the church anyway.

The streets were empty and silent. The silence enveloped me like a tempest of tumultuous sounds as a wave of loneliness harassed me. Suddenly, I felt lightning strike my chest, and life seemed to drain out of my body, until none of it was left. After moments of thinking I had died, I realized I’d imagined it. So I kept walking, and hoped things would return to normal, but after imagining my own death, something changed inside of me. I started hearing voices. They were coming from all fronts, some from the windows, some from the rooftops.

“Do it. Do it.”

They kept saying.

Do what? I had no idea, so I kept walking and reminded myself of what I was sure I had to do: put the box where I was told, and leave. As I walked, I encountered a crowd of people. They were all in masks, blacker than the night, so black I couldn’t even imagine a face behind them.

Some of the people were short, and some were tall. The shorter ones, kids I assumed, ran towards me and attacked me. With rocks and waVGT IWPU6JG[ſTGFCVO[ UVQOCEJO[ JGCFCPFO[ JGCTV DWV + EQWNFPŏV ſIJV DCEM6JG[were kids. So I ran as fast as I could.

And the crowd yelled, “Do it. Do it.”

I then escaped and found myself screaming, as I felt a heavy rain tumble down on me. Maybe NKIJVPKPIYCUſPCNN[IQKPIVQUVTKMGOGFQYPTears tumbled down my eyes and fell to the ground like the rain did. I remembered the night my mother died. I had never cried harder. I was left alone in this world. Maybe I’ve always been alone. I’ve never had anyone to say these things to. I kept walking and walking, unsure of everything thinking about how I wanted this world to end. I thought about how I wanted it to carry everything away and leave me alone, ready to start again with a new life, or maybe with no life at all.

+ſPCNN[IQVVQVJGEJWTEJ +YCUVQNFVQNGCXGthe package on the altar; I remembered that. As I opened the door, I got a strange feeling I cannot describe. I looked inside and I didn’t see what I expected to. There were no chairs or DGPEJGU6JGƀQQTYCUPCMGFCPFNQPGN[CUKFGfrom having many stripes of a strange liquid I couldn’t distinguish. It led to the altar, which was broken. Ripped in half, but still standing. Below it, the ground was irregular. There was a very small hole, like a space to store something KP6JGNKSWKFNGFVQKV+TGCNK\GF+EQWNFſVVJGcandle there, so I did. I knew I was disobeying the orders I’d received, but these people didn’t deserve any loyalty from me. They deserved to burn. They all did. I suddenly had a realization, some sort of epiphany. I’d use the match to light the candle, and burn the church down. If I was lucky, everything I had ever known would burn down, and I’d run away to never return. I could start my life again, someplace new, rising like a phoenix from the ashes. That was when I realized everything had led to this moment, the candle, the match, the gasoline; my hopes and dreams. Maybe not the handkerchief... I still set the plan in motion. I lit the match, and then the candle.

I ran from the altar faster than I ever had. A UOKNGUVCTVGFVQHQTOCETQUUO[HCEG+YCUſPCNly free. But my freedom didn’t last long. I still don't know what happened. I really don’t. All I know is that my legs failed me. I could no longer control them. Maybe I’d been shot or poisoned by someone else, or maybe it was just my imagination. I fell to the ground and tried to crawl towards the door, but it was of no use. 6JGYQQFGPƀQQTNKV QP ſTG CPFƀCOGU UVCTVGFto consume everything I could see, and everything I had ever seen before . Outside, I heard a chant. A joy, I’d done it. I did what they asked me to. I don’t know who they were, but they punished me. When I said I regret everything I’ve ever done, I meant it. I’ve sinned unimaginably. Maybe enough for me to deserve this. I tried to burn down everyone else, but ended up burning myself. Smoke surfaced from my incinerated body. It was headed for the stars, and it would become one with them. Swallowing them whole, eating VJGO WR ſPCNN[ HTGGthis time.