OUR LIVES, AN UNFINISHED SONG
Even This, Even Now By Sharon Ngoo
By Sharon Ngoo
Even this, even now Lord of all, You did allow In everything, even me You work for our good, for your glory In the early part of 2020, a dear sister-in-Christ told me God would give me a new song this year. And when we first went into lockdown, I managed to write something which got me really excited. I had been hearing stories of struggles from brothers and sisters in Christ and out of a desire to assure them of God’s truth in Romans 8:28, I penned down a verse and chorus.
How wonderful our God is! How kind and gently persistent in restoring us! As the months crept by, He taught me bit by bit to learn how to seek and enjoy His presence again - in the quiet of my own home, just the two of us - Him speaking through the Word and me, learning to listen and to enjoy singing just to Him by myself again as I used to do before leading worship became my job. And in one of those times, He assured me that He still had “good work” prepared for me to do (Ephesians 2:10) - yes, me, with all my flaws and my emptiness. And the following Sunday, in the middle of the 10 a.m. service, the rest of the song came, all in a rush. But now, it wasn’t a song written out of trying to help others, but one that came out of recognising my own constant need for God’s grace in every situation.
I shared this snippet as part of the 2020 prayer hour and invited others in BFEC to contribute their ideas - fully expecting that the song would be finished quickly and I would be able to share it with the congregation, along with the testimony of a prophecy fulfilled. But God had better things in mind. In the months that followed, I found myself caught up in technical meetings and operations and finding new ways to lead worship in song online. And in the midst of my operational pre-occupations, God was at work in my heart - uncovering cherished sins, my dependence on external things and the shallowness of my own personal worship. The unfinished song was abandoned. I couldn’t finish it. It felt fake because the lyrics didn’t match the thoughts that were driving me on the inside. Looking at the unfinished song and the lyrics others had kindly sent in just reminded me of how I was hollow and empty and couldn’t achieve anything on my own without God - not even a song.
Along with the finished song, God provided many gifted and sacrificial hands and hearts to come alongside and complete the recording which you can listen to at https://bfec.sg/song I pray it will be a reminder of the richness and depth of love that we can experience in Christ in all seasons - even this, even now.
And I will rise, I will sing And give to You, this offering To Christ alone, I will bow Giving thanks for even this, even now Step by step, time after time My heart must learn, Your will not mine When walls press in, and courage breaks Even on my knees you lift my head And in the questions, keep me from the despair When fears consume me, Lord, hear my prayer That I will find You, and You will be enough O Christ my rock, guard of my soul, strength of my heart And I will rise, I will sing And give to You, this offering O Lord, my God, here I bow Giving thanks for even this, even now No mountain height, no ocean depth No trial in life, not even death Not the past, today, tomorrow Loudest laughter, silent sorrow No fate, no destiny Can take Your love away from me O God At the cross, help me see Boundless love, poured out for me
Scan code to listen to the song or visit https://bfec.sg/song 55
And hear Your voice rise above the crowd Giving strength for even this even now And I will rest in even this even now
