GIVE ME A SIGN!

By Samuel Ng

“God, if you want me to go to this school, please give me a sign.”

“God, please give me a sign to confirm that you want me to take this course.”

In 2020, I decided to leave what friends candidly term an “iron rice bowl” job after 18 years, plunging headfirst into the world of private enterprise. The journey was rather eventful. I left the Air Force to enter the commercial aviation industry. I cleared the interviews and attained the necessary training qualifications. Then, just three days before the official “start date” of my shiny new job, HR called to say my induction into the company would be delayed “by a few weeks”. Those weeks turned into months as the pandemic grew in scope and intensity.

In the middle of running around with odd jobs here and there, I decided to embark on a fairly longterm plan that was never meant to take place so soon – try my hand at running my own business. This, while learning the ropes of being a new father to my one-year-old toddler.

I would have loved to tell you that leaving the Air Force was due to a certain and clear sign from God telling me to go from my secure job to a new “land” He was going to show me. And that, along the way, God had led me through spectacular diversions and surprises to where I am now. However, that was not the case. I believe God can communicate and guide us in whatever way he desires, but in my experience, He doesn’t usually lead me with such fanfare. That’s not to say that I have not asked God for “obvious” signs at various decision points in my life, hoping to share the certainty of a certain group of people following a pillar of fire or cloud. I had none this time around, rather similar to many other instances in my past. Wouldn’t it be so much easier to have God give me a dream, or send an angel to tell me something, or speak audibly to me himself?

If I placed my faith in how God would lead me or what He does for me, then I would be at risk of setting my own expectations and hope on things God had never promised.

I couldn’t see Him because I was looking right in front of me, and looking for what I wanted Him to do for me.

“…faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1)

Such a familiar text, yet such a challenge in accepting it when it becomes personal. Frustration, worry and helplessness were all part of the meandering journey I chose to take. The trick for me, however, was what (or who) I had to place my faith in. If I placed my faith in how God would lead me or what He does for me, then I would be at risk of setting my own expectations and hope on things God had never promised. If I had faith in God Himself, however, then that would mean I believe that God can and WILL work things together for the good of those who love Him, no matter how or when He chooses to. I shifted my focus away from what was happening and how I would have liked God to respond, and instead focused on the God who makes things happen and who responds. That gave me the ability to take each setback and each victory to a higher plane – God’s assurance that our current repaired relationship with Him and promise of future glory far outweighs the worry and strife of this life (Rom 8:17-18).

So was God really invisible to me? On one hand, it does seem that way given that I did not receive any “clear signs” from God throughout the twists and turns of last year. But perhaps I was looking at the wrong frame. God was visible all along. He was there in the Bible when I read it, He was there in my prayers, He was there in the testimonies and lives of other believers I met. I couldn’t see Him because I was looking right in front of me, and looking for what I wanted Him to do for me. Shifting my gaze heaven-ward didn’t automatically solve all my problems, but it did put my present struggles in a new light, a light that made a seemingly invisible God very, very visible.

Samuel (center) relaxing with his family