GOD MET ME IN BAAL-ZEPHON

By a Frankelite frontline health worker

“Then the Lord said to Moses “Tell the people of Israel to turn back and encamp in front of Pi-Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea, in front of Baal-zephon; you shall encamp facing it, by the sea” Exodus 14:1-2

I started 2020 with a mother and daughter trip to Bangkok, to celebrate E’s 18th birthday. Even then, news about a certain Wuhan virus was gathering steam. I was getting insider emails of emerging infections as I am a frontline worker. Actually, to be accurate, I am a frontline commander. In my job as a senior in an Accident & Emergency department, I manage patient workflow and redirect manpower to areas in need. And when I cannot reallocate manpower, I will move patients.

As Singapore battled COVID-19, I found myself entering the fray many times. This is bad planning because as the commander, I needed to stay cool and collected. But when I saw how exhausted my soldiers (fellow medical colleagues) were, I had to pitch in. Resources were stretched so thin that any extra help made a difference.

I had grand plans for 2020 - I would go on my first cycling trip in the UK with two friends and I would present a research paper in Japan during the Olympics, so I could soak in the atmosphere. Instead, I now found myself trapped in a COVID-19 rabbit hole, helpless and hopeless. I didn’t feel divinely led, unlike the Israelites when they left Egypt. My journey was fraught with daily uncertainties but like the Israelites, I too had to encamp at Baal-zephon.

Baal-zephon was a geographical cul-de-sac, a dead-end street. To the north were huge Egyptian fortresses, to the south lay the vast Egyptian desert. Pharaoh and his army were in hot pursuit from the west. To the east was the Red Sea the Israelites had just crossed.

At the peak of the outbreak in Singapore, I was examining masses of people daily who were worried and desperate. Some were clearly sick, others were worried sick. I constantly had to make decisions - who to swab, who to isolate, who to send home. We also faced some Catch-22 situations. I was notified every few days that I had been in contact with COVID-19 positive patients. Then, we learnt there were asymptomatic carriers. There was no way to be sure if someone was infected. I had to treat every patient as a potential COVID-19 case. COVID-19 certainly didn’t sound like it would pan out like SARS. I had reached my Baal-zephon.

I isolated myself because I was a risk to everyone at home. It reminded me of SARS all over again. Then, I would bathe after a day’s work before going home to hug E, who was only a year old. Now, my children were older - one was preparing for A levels and the other, for O levels. Both did not seem to understand the gravity of the situation.

I reminded myself that God does not make navigational errors. He would not allow his children, whom he had rescued from 400 years of slavery, to be led into a corner. Similarly, I was not trapped.

I was not led into this situation. I was placed here. This was where God wanted me to be. I didn’t feel particularly heroic but I certainly felt very responsible. If I allowed a positive COVID-19 patient back into the community, it could start another cluster and I would have let many people down. My mission was to guard my land and my loved ones.

Were there opportunities to share the gospel? I think so... but I certainly missed them all. I start my day now by signing a declaration of dependence on God and asking Him to deliver me. Strangely, when I become tired, encouragement will pour in. When I don’t feel up to it, a patient will encourage me.

It didn’t matter that I wasn’t always the frontline commander I thought I should be. What mattered is that God met me in Baal-zephon.