LISTEN

By Lee Yen Yee

It wasn’t difficult to hear the pain as the world around me started to disintegrate. People faced retrenchment, others had pay cuts or found it hard to cope with a shortage of necessities. Then, there were the non-visible struggles - parents trying to put up a strong front as they juggled working from home and their childrens’ home-based learning; the demands of being a front-line worker; domestic violence escalating in the confines of the home or the stress of having to adapt to technology as an older person.

During this period, as part of my work as an associate psychologist, God blessed me with the opportunity to work for a crisis hotline, supporting the emotional needs of people in distress. It was a time of pruning and challenge for me. It seemed God was opening my eyes and ears to the brokenness of the world. My comfortable bubble burst as I struggled to listen to the grim realities unfolding in the lives of fellow Singaporeans.

Due to the crisis nature of the hotline, we had to de-escalate many callers at the height of their emotions. I frequently found myself at a loss for words – what words of comfort could I offer to someone who had just lost her job? What should I say to a married caller asking for advice to salvage his marriage? What could I say to make it all better, when their situation seemed so bleak?

Almost a year has passed since I started this role. I have learnt there is nothing I can say to make everything better. When I hear the caller’s struggles, I tend to become anxious, thinking what is the best advice to give, or what to say next. I often wrestle with the temptation to measure my own (in)adequacy by my ability to make someone feel better. It is easy to slip into this frame of mind, especially when my job is to provide emotional support. But time and time again, I had to listen to God’s reminder that my worth is not based on my perceived competency. My worth is in Christ! And truly, nothing I say will replace the hope and comfort that only God can give.

At the same time, I have learnt that there is much power in listening, and to empathise and meet people where they are.

Finally, emotional and mental struggles are not a sign of weakness. These are perfectly normal in times of stress. Dear friend, if you are struggling, please know you are not alone. There is strength in seeking help. Let someone you trust listen to you and so bring you His healing grace.

Photo by Lee Yen Yee