I hate road trips with my husband. Help!
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Dear Readers: A couple of months ago a reader bemoaned the fact that men her age always wanted younger women. I asked to hear from the men on this topic. This was the best response I received: Dear Old Bag: Why men want younger women goes back to why we choose mates. Women look at a guy and think, “I can make something of him,” selecting a remodel project—which also explains why nice girls choose “bad boys.” Guys find a girl they want “just the way she is” thinking she’ll never change because he too expects to stay young forever. Problems arise because girls change to women, mothers and then grandmothers. No longer seeing the girl they want, guys divorce and remarry someone closer to the original model. Like Hugh Hefner said at 80, he always (and only) liked 18-year-olds. Likewise, women divorce men because their mates continually resist being remodeled into someone they never intended to be. Signed GKR Dear GKR: There’s a lot of truth in what you say. However, I was never a Hugh Hefner fan, and the fact that he only liked 18-year-olds makes me a little sick. Your letter points out something very important to me: All of us need to put more thought into mate selection. “Will you still love me when I’m 64?” Let’s hear from those who made good choices! OB Dear Old Bag: My dad lives with us. He’s hard of hearing and won’t wear his hearing aids. I have teenage children whom he criticizes frequently (in their presence). He passes gas whenever he feels like it and thinks nothing of it. The kids are embarrassed to bring their friends around because they never know what he will do. He’s been known to criticize their friends, too. I wish we’d insisted on assisted living before he came to live with us, but now it would be like kicking him out. What now? Signed, MR Dear MR: This is a sticky situation! I don’t typically advise couples to take in parents because it rarely works out. If your dad has a nice private room with a TV and comfy chairs, I suggest you tell him that when the kids have company over, he needs to stay in his quarters. Also, instruct your kids to smother him with kindness. You need to do something to arouse kindness in him. If this doesn’t work, take him shopping around at assisted living facilities under the guise that he should have a plan in case it doesn’t work out living with you. Hopefully, he’ll get the hint. Good luck! OB Dear Old Bag: It’s vacation time and I’m not a happy camper. I got lucky last year because of the pandemic, but now that things have opened up my husband is planning a vacation. My husband is a different guy when he gets behind that wheel. God forbid if you need a bathroom stop. “You can go when we get gas!” he says. I have to pack lunches, which we eat while driving! Don’t even suggest stopping to see a landmark. You’d think we’re on some emergency drive to get someplace in a hurry. I’m at my wit’s end. Vacations are meant to be a time of happiness, relaxation, laughing and seeing the sights. Help! Signed, KL
Enjoy new friends. Or relaxing “me time.” At MacKenzie Place, the day is always yours. With a variety of classes, activities, and social events, you can play as much or as little as you’d like. Our friendly staff plays friend-maker too, making sure all new residents
Dear KL: I have a few suggestions: 1. Refuse to go, and make sure to tell him why. 2. Say you’ll only go if you can drive and stop whenever the spirit moves you. 3. Tell him you’re going on separate vacations from now on. 4. Buy him a book on bullying. 5. If all else fails, maybe you should consider trading him in? (Tongue in cheek.) OB ■
find the social scene that works best for them.
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ADVICE COLUMN FOR THE OVER 50 CROWD BY GAYLE LAGMAN-CRESWICK Send your questions to the Old Bag in care of Life After 50, or email her at LagmanCreswick@Gmail.com
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