RE- ESTABLISH H.E.R. Magazine April/May 2024 Issue

HEALING + EMPOWERMENT + RECOVER

Magazine April/May 2024

Standing on the Promises of GOD Suffering in Silence: Mental Health Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman?

Entrepreneurship & Motherhood

RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. CALL TO ACTION! Scripture: 1 Corinthians 7:15 (Tree of Life Version) 15 But if the unbeliever separates, let him be separated. The brother or the sister is not bound in such cases, but God has called you to shalom.

POINTS TO PONDER: Listen My sister, auntie, and friend, when you marry out of potential, you run the risk of waiting years for the manifestation of the promise; it’s as if you are equivalent to voting for your favorite political figure that later you find out he isn’t equipped to deliver any of the empty promises he won you over with! Let’s define potential.

Adjective having or showing the capacity to become or develop into something in the future; Noun 1. latent qualities or abilities that may be developed and lead to future success or usefulness.

So many women have been suffering in silence for not doing their homework; going off several different reasons to bind themselves to mates that end up making them inmates under new rules and regulations disregarding the vision and promise. He went to church for a few years, and you became groomed to the potential of him developing his relationship with Yeshua (Jesus) to learn later that none of those long conversations where you did all the talking and he listened, was simply Mr. Potential in dress rehearsal to continue to hide what his true purpose in your life is. Let's unpack this point to ponder as the scripture releases if the unbeliever separates, let him be separated; you would have saved yourself the heartache and years of suffering if you allowed God to be the fruit inspector instead of giving away your fruit to someone who didn’t have the foundation to multiply your seeds of value and worth in what you were suppose to birth forth. I want to provide you with some points to ponder. ·When you marry the promises, multiplication happens because there is mutual love and respect to serve the same God without friction. ·When the unbeliever unmasks himself, he has already fulfilled his assignment to derail yours, so he is comfortable in cheating, lying, and dishonoring any covenant obligations he agreed to. Do your homework and seek God daily in prayer for insight and direction.

Apr/May 2024 21 Mother‘s Day Happy Features RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. (CALL TO ACTION)

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God’s Perfect Will -vs- Your Permissive Will in Mate Choosing (Melinda Walker) p. 4

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Standing on the Promises of God (Lisa Seymour)

p. 10

Standing on God’s Promises: What Does It Really Mean?

(Cherise Riley) p. 13 Standing on the Promises of God (Prophetess Vera Nelson)

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Mental Health with Women (Jerrilyn Dixon, LCSW)

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Suffering in Silence (Theresa Harvard Johnson)

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Mental Health p. 28 (Trystan Moore, M.Ed, ALC, ICADC) Compatibility Mode (Prophetess Tambria Broomfield)

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Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman & What Does It Mean?

(LaTempis Mitchell) p. 33 Entrepreneurship & Motherhood: A Dual Journey of Struggles & Joys (DeMonica Moore) p. 37 Balancing Acts: Navigating Life as a Mom, Entrepreneur & Non-Profit Founder (Erica Young) p. 43 Peace Be Still (Latarsha Banks)

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·When you marry the promise, there will be evidence and growth.

This scripture is mostly used in financial and wealth building, however, this scripture was used to bring forth a breakthrough in a situation I found myself in while in grief after becoming a young widow.

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I briefly attached myself to someone who had I been in the right state of mind never would have had a chance. My supervisor at the time was a praying woman and one day she left me a card with this scripture in it; “The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it,” Proverbs 10:22, KJV).”

When I say this was so prophetic as I lived out this scripture in that brief situation, this chameleon was such a counterfeit and religious demon. I learned a valuable lesson in spiritual warfare. My character was assassinated so badly I thought I would never recover but God sent His top-trained snipers in the spirit that fought for me; Jehovah Gibbor according to Psalms 24:8, solidified the prophetic oil upon my life. The place of my peace became the place of my greatest shame, but I was able to survive it 14 years later.

So I am not only sounding the alarm, I am sharing with you that when the alarm was sounding in the heavens to rescue me, within 11 months, the Lord favored me! I was free and the promise I was given; “The enemy you see today you will not see anymore.” I can truthfully say I have not had to encounter such a hellhound of that caliber again. Lastly, my directive for you is to deal with every emotional wound, inner child (father/mother wounds) grief, and anything the Lord reveals because the healed version of you will not attract this type of attack or attachment, believe me, ladies these unbelievers already have a type that they prey upon.

Signed,

I AM H.E.R. (HEALED. EMPOWERED. RECOVERED.)

Dr. Mechelle Moore.

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21God’s Perfect Will

-vsYour Permissive Will in Mate Choosing (Perfect -vs-Permissive)

by 36Melinda Walker According to Google’s definition, perfect is having all required or desirable elements, qualities, and characteristics, complete and without blemish. Perfect is exuding sound judgment without error. Perfect is direct with no deviations. Perfect is not rushed, but is well thought out, planned and with much consideration.

Perfection requires patience. Perfect has a standard to withhold.

Perfect is specific.

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According to Google’s definition, permissive is characterized by great and excessive freedom of behavior and choice. Permissiveness allows behavior that others may disapprove of, and we let someone do something. Permissive is when we allow something against sound judgement, and we allow ourselves to be rushed into decision making. Permissive is to release, tolerate, give permission, be lenient, make possible and be accepting. Permissiveness lower standards.

Permissiveness is a possibility.

I wanted to do a contrast comparison so we can know there is a difference between perfect and permissive and especially when we are speaking of God’s will. It is not only important to be in God’s will spiritually or when choosing the correct career, or friends to do life with, but it is very important to be in God’s perfect will when choosing a mate. Often times we are more on the side of permissive when choosing a mate. As women we ask “Is he tall, dark, and handsome? Men ask, “Is she a baddie?” When I am around him/her, do I get those butterflies in my stomach? Do they make me laugh and feel good about myself? Does he make the 6-figure income so I can be a kept woman? Will she take care of my every need in the home, and sexually?

Do they check all my boxes?”

All those things are good, but the most important questions we should ask were not on our list. We did not ask if that person believe in your God. Are we equally yoked? Does that person have a personal relationship with God? Does that person pray and is capable of praying for me? Is that person honest?

Does that person have integrity? Do they believe in a monogamous relationship? Are they faithful to their words? Can I trust them with my heart?

How do they treat their parents? Do they have a criminal background? Do they pay their bills? Will they stand ten toes down for me and protect me? Are they capable of loving me and putting me first ABOVE everyone else? Last but not least, did God say this is my mate that he chose for me?

When a complete contrast comparison of perfect and permissive when choosing a mate is concluded, we have sound judgements to make. So many times, we find ourselves permitting things, ignoring the red flags, allowing immoral behavior, looking past the character flaws. We even sometimes settle for good when God says we deserve the best, and then try to justify why we settled for good and chose the permissive route instead of waiting on God. We settled for all the perfect characteristics; however, I have to sit with the reality of, “is it enough?” We find ourselves pleading with God, telling him, “it is just one thing Lord; They do not have a personal relationship with you.”

We go on to plead our case: They are honest with integrity. They treat their parents well. They keep their word and are trustworthy. They are faithful and believe in a monogamous relationship. They are hard working. They will protect me and put me first. They are capable of loving me, but this one thing is making me doubt if they are in your perfect will for my life. Well Lord, they said they will get to know my God and promised to go to church. Can I just waver on this one thing? Can I permit this one flaw and allow them to grow into a relationship with you and see how it blossoms? Can I accept them as they are? When I am with them, I feel so complete. They make my world go around. Will you permit me to make this one request?

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When I look back in retrospect and have a back to the future moment.

This is a hindsight 20/20 moment for me. I am able to look back and understand the aftermath of my past decisions. I will take you on a journey and allow you to understand why this subject is so relevant. It is not just a conversation for me. This was a real-life journey that I have been on for thirty-three years. The first two years, I was chasing butterflies. The remaining thirty-one years is a journey of realities. I am no longer chasing butterflies; I am sitting in my decisions I made. I am able to look back in hindsight and share the lessons I have learned from my past. Now I have insight that helps me navigate through the complexities of my present state I find myself in thirty-three years later. I do not feel sorrow as one that does not have hope. I have the ability to create foresight for my future. Many lessons were learned, but I declare it will not end how it started. I will compare and contrast my life and bring clarity to the perfect will of God verses the permissive will of God when I chose a mate.

This journey started over three decades ago. Let me set the stage. It is the year 1990, the season of football. We are entering the stadium of the mighty mighty lumberjacks. We are anticipating a winning season.

The stadium is full of everyone wearing their black and gold. My girl and I are scouting out the place and making plans for this after party.

We decided to go take a seat and enjoy the game. She went before me.

We hit that last bleacher where our class was seated ready to get it lit in the bleachers. I hit that corner and locked eye with this tall, caramel, and handsome man with these gorgeous, slanted eyes. Immediately I had butterflies. I had heard of him and his brothers. We knew them as the Walker boys. I said “hey Larry? Calvin? Mike?” I was not sure what his name was. He gave me the side eye and said, “you said every one of my brother’s names but not mines.” This is when the journey began. I had no idea of the crooks and turns we were about to experience.

I will capture Thirty-three years with a condensed version. We began to court one another. I was still in high school, and he was five years older than I. My mom permitted me to date him because she thought he was a very nice person and she felt like he would treat me right. Keep in mind, I was very young, and he was a little more experienced than I was. I did not know what to look for in a man. I lost my father when I was seven years old. I did not have anyone to vet him or give me true advice about how to choose right. I based my decision to date him on pure emotions. It did not matter what type of job he had; I did not care.

All I wanted was him and to be with him. I was definitely chasing butterflies until things got real. I found myself pregnant right when my life was starting. I did not get a chance to finish college in order to take care of my new baby. Life started to happen.

He lost his mother and depression set in with him. He began to change in areas. I saw the change; I saw the red flags but guess what? I ignored them. After some time passed by, I noticed he could not keep money, he was sleeping all the time, and his interest in things we at one time loved, started to dwindle. My mom called me over to tell me some things she knew. She went on to say women were coming to our apartment while I was in college. She went on to say, “Lynn you know he is on drugs, I saw him on fourth street getting the drugs.” She went on to say, “you know he lost his mother, and this is his way to grieve.” I heard her, but I closed my ears to it. I was in denial. I immediately asked him, and of course he denied it. I chose to close my ears to the truth because I wanted to be with him.

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Things were not going well with us so he decided to go back to his hometown and get a job and advised he will send for me later. I did not see him again until it was time for me to deliver our baby. He came back for my daughter’s delivery. I was living with my sister at this time in the projects. I was in Louisiana and the project life was very colorful and dangerous. I really did not want to raise my daughter in the project. I did not have a job; I was not in College because I had to take care of my daughter. I was at a crossroad as to what direction my life would take. I heard this knock on the door, it was my daughter’s father’s sister’s. They came to get their niece, they stated. They took her back with them and they never brought her back. Next thing I know, he is pulling up to get me. He took me back to his hometown in Mississippi. His family were a family that was saved and loved God. We were staying with one of his sisters and after some time, we were told we either had to marry or myself and my daughter had to go back home to Louisiana. I had already dreaded raising my daughter in the projects. He knew that life because he was there for a while also.

He decided he did not want us to leave, and he would marry me.

Consider at this time I am Nineteen and he is twenty-four. He told me years later; he had said he would never marry. It was never his intention to marry. When I look back in retrospect, I felt like this was somewhat of a deal we made to raise our daughter in a better environment even thou he confessed his love for me. We did not sit down and really think through this. We started our journey with nothing. We started our journey with no foundation with God. We got counseling but it did not stick. We could not comprehend Godly things when we both were carnally minded. All I knew was to obey, I started to obey when I was told to read my bible, study God’s word, do not forsake to assemble myself together with the saints.

As time progressed the things of God stuck, I had already accepted Christ into my life but had no evidence or power. I was filled with the Holy Ghost and that is when I had power to stand, I had power to pray and stand there until my change came. My relationship grew with God. I learned how to live Holy. I learned how to be a wife and a mother. I learned my role; however, I did not get to have the experience I dreamed of as a child. I did not have the knee proposal. I did not get the wedding where I could be and feel pretty for that moment. I realized I had settled. I was immediately thrown into fighting mold. The very thing my mom warned me about, came back up. Things started missing, my money was going missing.

Those words my mom said to me ring loudly in my ear. I have to stand in the gap and believe God for a breakthrough. Long story short, God brought deliverance in his life, and he was delivered and set free from drugs, never to return. He began his journey with the Lord. We both started learning and growing together. We were on the right path.

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As time progressed, unresolved issues surfaced again. I was never the one to search phones or snoop around, it always came to me. I realized I have a David on my hands, a man after God’s own heart but having a devastating struggle with lust. This was a never-ending cycle in our lives. The year of 2001, I find myself at a crossroad within my marriage. I and another woman were both delivering a baby the same year for the same man, yes, my husband. My husband’s infidelity led to an outside child. I had to go through many cycles of washing, rinsing, and spinning. I had to put it on repeat until I made up my mind to stay. This was a very hard decision and forgiveness did not come easy. I had a high price to pay.

My youngest child had to share everything with this outside child.

The timing of events was at the same time. She had to share her Prom, award days, concerts and the most difficult was her High School graduation. He had to split time. This was the most devastating and hurtful thing one could experience but I chose to stay. I started to have regrets. I started to wonder what my life would have been if I had waited on God. If I would have chosen right. This brings me back full circle to the start of this chapter, Perfect -vs- Permissive. I said I do, and God said I will. I have to sit in the decision I made. I chose based on emotions. It was the outer appearance that made my decision and then a soul tide made me stay. I chose every characteristic of a Permissive Will. If I could give my seventeen-year-old self some advice, I would tell her to choose well and wait on God. See even thou I did not wait on God and walk in his perfect will when choosing my mate, God has caused all things to work together for my good because I love him, and I am the called according to his purpose. We are navigating through the aftermath of infidelity. It was not all bad. God blessed us with three beautiful children together and two grand girls that love their Papa. Yes, I had many opportunities to leave. I even had papers drawn up. When I think about an investment, I am aware you take some losses. I have invested thirty-one years into my marriage. I was the one that prayed and stood in the gap until he came through. I did not do all of that for another woman to enjoy the harvest of my labor. I did not experience God’s perfect will and my journey is not for everyone, but speaking from hindsight into insight and onto foresight, God is not unrighteous to forget my works and labor of love. I am cashing in on my investment. Better days are ahead.

Melinda Walker Bio Melinda Walker was born and raised in Bogalusa, Louisiana. Melinda is a wife, mother, and grandmother. Melinda resides in Dallas, Texas. Melinda is a Certified Purpose/ Life Coach, and a Health and Wellness coach.

Melinda is a Published Author. In the year 2020 Melinda founded Finally There, LLC, and in 2022 extended her brand as a Publisher and does business as Stand In Truth Publications (S.I.T). S.I.T services include but are not limited to Writing Coaching and Ghost-Writing services. Melinda will guide you through your book writing experience as a Vision Coach.

Email: info@comfortableinonesownskin.com Website: Http://www.comfortableinonesownskin.com Telephone: (601) 818-1847 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/melinda.walker.90 85 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/finallythere

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RE-ESTABLISHED H.E.R. MAGAZINE

Standing on the Promises of God by-Lisa Seymour

Have you had someone make you a promise to do something and when it was time to make good on the promise they were nowhere to be found or made an excuse as to why they could no longer keep the promise? This may have left you hurt, disappointed, angry, and even bitter. Experiences like this can sometimes cause us to believe that God would treat us the same way when what He has promised seems to be out of reach or delayed. I have found that when I am feeling this way about the Promises of God for my life, they are actually closer than I think.

Sometimes it’s the challenges of life such us our family, relationships, career, finances and health that will cause us to doubt the Promises of God. Don’t add the challenges of ministry and trying to carry out your assignment, but meeting resistance or rejection. Have you ever asked God, “Did I mishear You?” Life circumstances can cause us to have selective amnesia and in the midst of the trial we allow what we see to make us forget what we have heard.

There is a saying that is out that says when, “Life be lifing, God be Goding” and this statement is true. The challenge may surprise us, but nothing surprises our God. The Bible says, that God is Omniscience, meaning All knowing. No matter how clever the enemy think he is, he cannot get nothing over on God. When we are faced with challenges often times we find it difficult to pray, read our Word, praise and worship, but it is during these times that each of these weapons are needed more than ever. When the enemy can get you to be silent he believes he has won. But I dare you to begin to open your mouth in the midst of the pain, frustration, disappoint and tears to declare the promise given in Psalm 30:5b; “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning”(NLT). The challenge is temporary!

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Have you had someone make you a promise to do something and when it was time to make good on the promise they were nowhere to be found or made an excuse as to why they could no longer keep the promise? This may have left you hurt, disappointed, angry, and even bitter. Experiences like this can sometimes cause us to believe that God would treat us the same way when what He has promised seems to be out of reach or delayed. I have found that when I am feeling this way about the Promises of God for my life, they are actually closer than I think.

Sometimes it’s the challenges of life such us our family, relationships, career, finances and health that will cause us to doubt the Promises of God. Don’t add the challenges of ministry and trying to carry out your assignment, but meeting resistance or rejection. Have you ever asked God, “Did I mishear You?” Life circumstances can cause us to have selective amnesia and in the midst of the trial we allow what we see to make us forget what we have heard.

There is a saying that is out that says when, “Life be lifing, God be Goding” and this statement is true. The challenge may surprise us, but nothing surprises our God. The Bible says, that God is Omniscience, meaning All knowing. No matter how clever the enemy think he is, he cannot get nothing over on God. When we are faced with challenges often times we find it difficult to pray, read our Word, praise and worship, but it is during these times that each of these weapons are needed more than ever. When the enemy can get you to be silent he believes he has won. But I dare you to begin to open your mouth in the midst of the pain, frustration, disappoint and tears to declare the promise given in Psalm 30:5b; “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes in the morning”(NLT). The challenge is temporary!

I am not talking about something I have heard but what I know. Over 10 years ago now, I faced one of the darkest moments of my life. I thought the actions of my sin had caused me to forfeit anything God ever had planned for my life. I let the noise of people, the enemy, and the inner me make me believe that it was better that I die than to continue on living, and then I was led to the book of Isaiah chapter 55 verses 10-11 where God reminds us of how His Words work: The rain and the snow come down from the sky.

They do not return to it without watering the earth.

They make plants come up and grow.

The plants produce seeds for farmers.

They also produce food for people to eat.

The words I speak are like that.

They will not return to me without producing results.

They will accomplish what I want them to. (NIRV)

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These versus reassures us that just like the rain and snow come to the earth to aid in the watering of the land for produce of farmers seeds, so does the Word that God has spoken over you, His seed. Let that sink in. You are the seed of God who has been promised to produce. Even if it doesn’t look like it now God’s words are going to produce in your life. Not because of who we are but because of Who He is. You may be thinking like I was, “there is no coming back from this, I am the cause of my challenges !” Guess what? The Bible tells us in 1 John 1:9; “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins, and purify us from all unrighteousness” (NIV).

I am reminded of David, who had many flaws, but yet God still allowed what was spoken over him at a young age in the back yard of his daddy’s house come to pass. That same grace is available to you and I today.

God has spoken words over you and I that cannot return to Him without producing what He intended them to do.

God is not a man that He would lie and that is why we can trust that if God said it, then it will happen. His promises are true no matter what we see, think, or feel. We have been called to trust God even when we cannot see how He is going to bring the promise to pass. I know that this is difficult but we cannot afford not to. Our whole being is dependent of God’s Promises. So, when Life is lifing, here are some Promises of God that have encouraged me to stand through the midst of it all and I pray they do the same for you: Romans 8:28 (NLV) We know that God makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are chosen to be a part of His plan.

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will give you strength, and for sure I will help you. Yes, I will hold you up with My right hand that is right and good.

Psalm 34:4 I looked for the Lord, and He answered me. And He took away all my fears.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is being sure we will get what we hope for. It is being sure of what we cannot see.

Isaiah 54:17 No tool that is made to fight against you will do well. And you will prove wrong every tongue that says you are guilty. This is the gift given to the servants of the Lord. I take away their guilt and make them right,” says the Lord.

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep the man in perfect peace whose mind is kept on You, because he trusts in You. The Bible is filled with so many more, but this is a start. If we are going to conquer the challenges of life then we must be prepared with the right equipment. I would encourage you to add to this list and when you are faced with a challenge instead of focusing on it, speak and stand on God’s Promises, and watch how changes things.

Be Blessed!

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Standing on the Promises of God: What Does that Really Mean? by Cherise Lenore Riley

What do you think of when you hear someone say, “I’m standing on the Promises of God?” Oftentimes, we immediately think, this person is trusting God for their situation or circumstance. If you are like me, you have also used this phrase and used it to try and convince yourself that its exactly what you are doing, you are standing on Gods promises and you are trusting God in spite of! Well, for me, this was exactly my thought and no one could tell me anything different until I had a rude awakening by Holy Spirit regarding this, it’s a crushing feeling when Holy Spirit rebukes you and tell you that you are in fact NOT standing on God’s promises, instead you are operating in FEAR (and not the good fear – reverence or AWE of God either).

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2023 had proven to be a very challenging year, emotionally, spiritually, financially and mentally! I had gone to another state on an assignment thinking it would help me out of the financial situation I was in at the time. The money would have been good and would have allowed me to stay afloat and settle some debt. At the time, I accepted the assignment, I prayed but I didn’t’ wait to get the answer, instructions or directions from God, because let's be honest, I had a need, and this door opened, so it had to be GOD, right? In fact, thankfully this time, it was God, however, not for the reasons I thought! There would be MANY lessons I would learn during this 9-month journey and a couple of those lessons would even try to take my life!

Those nine months were a season of Isolation for me to get back to a place where I heard God in realms, I hadn’t heard Him in a long time because I had gotten to a place of being content and didn’t realize it. I knew God required more from me, and He would only allow me to hide out in the background for so long. See, for me, God needed me to understand that His Promises were gracious gifts he had bestowed upon me and NOT a pledge received through negotiation. What do I mean by that? Well, most of the time, when God shows us our life path and the things He has ordained or destined for our life, His Promises, we don’t always “like” it and in our mind we try to negotiate what part of God’s Promises we will stand on and what part we would “modify” and the crazy thing is, we really do think God co-signs our modification especially when it appears as if we are moving along in life and years go by and we appear to be “soaring” in that thing. Yea, that was me, being everything to everyone else and moving further away from God’s Promises concerning me and my life.

The word “stand” in the Merriman Webster Dictionary means “to take up or maintain a specified position or posture”. The same word “stand” biblically means “to remain firm and immovable” or “to hold fearlessly to the truth that God is doing His perfect work and there is no cause for alarm” The Hebrew word “stand” is vatsav/nitsav meaning stop, settle, fix, appoint, confirm, establish and endure. Why is this important to know, its important because how can you execute a thing in truth when you don’t really know or understand what it means or what God is requiring of you. So, to “Stand on God’s Promises” means, to remain immovable, settled, established holding firm IN the Declaration and Agreement of God’s gracious gifts for your life! To know and understand what God’s gracious gifts are (or His promises) it requires you to KNOW God, and to know someone, requires you to spend time with them, to study them, converse with them, listen to them. While doing this, you will see what you thought and accepted at one time, wasn’t the fullness of God’s Promises for you. You will also learn that the many obstacles and trials you endured, were because you veered off and away from God’s promises. Let me speak for myself, I endured some unimaginable times because what I thought I was standing on was NOT God’s promises but it was the self negotiations I had made because apart of God’s promises for my life were things and places I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to endure the weight and responsibilities of that place. I didn’t want the pressure or the pain that came with that place, I thought I wasn’t qualified for those promises! So, I thought I would take some of the promises and not all. I thought I could have just one thing off the plate and leave the rest when in reality God doesn’t work like that.

To stand on or IN God’s Promises, requires you to fully accept and embrace ALL of them otherwise, trying to stand on some of them is like trying to stand on one foot with one toe, you may be able to do it for a few seconds, but you will quickly stumble lose your balance and eventually fall. During the last six months, God took me to a quiet place and reintroduced His promises me to for my life, and in this quiet place, He helped me navigate through my personal objections and fears to put my other foot down, He helped me regain my balance and assurance causing me to stabilize. This also helped me to regain my focus which realigned my heart posture and refortify my footing. This has not been an easy road, but it wasn’t easy because of me. See, to get back to the promises of God, required me to repent for trying to modify them, to repent for running from them and to repent for thinking God made a mistake choosing me!

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When you truly understand that even in your imperfect state that God says in Psalms 139:14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, Psalms 17 says you are the apple of God’s eye, and Ephesians 1:4-6, 4 just as [in His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight. In love 5 He predestined and lovingly planned for us to be adopted to Himself as [His own] children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the kind intention and good pleasure of His will— 6 to the praise of His glorious grace and favor, which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved [His Son, Jesus Christ].

God’s Promises are awaiting you; God hasn’t changed His mind concerning you and even when you think you have disappointed Him too many times, God will never give up on you. It’s not too late to get back into proper position with God and regain your footing and posture to stand firm and unmovable in and on His promises concerning you. I challenge you to take some time and sit before Him, Quiet yourself, open your spirit and allow Holy Spirit to show you yourself! Don’t be afraid, I promise this will help you understand and truly come to know the unconditional Love that God has for you! Ask the Father what His promises are concerning YOUR life! Where have you veered off, which promises to have you battled with accepting? And then seek Him and trust Him to lead, guide, and direct your steps back to Him fully knowing that He has given you the power and strength to stand firm in what He declared about you before the foundation of the world! It’s time to take your promises back and it's time to stand for real!

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What Are the 8 Prayer Watches?

(A Brief Overview) The 8 Prayer Watches are times of days, afternoons, and nights covering 24 hours within three-hour intervals; while every watch has a purpose within the spirit realm, they are the shift changes of the angels ascending and descending from heaven to earth and from earth back to heaven.

A prime example of that could be when Jacob encountered the angels descending and ascending on a ladder from heaven; (Genesis 28:10-17) KJV. Order Your Copy TODAY-

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ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY TEXT: 219-487-8472 THE WORD (8PW)

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Standing on the Promises of God by Prophetess Vera Nelson

I remember in earlier times I have always believed in the Lord, but as life goes on and your faith becomes challenged, life would bring challenges, our faith would weaken and then some of us begin to believe the culture, environment, or people that give opinions in our lives.

When the Lord created the Earth He did a complete work because His original intent was that we would live long and reign and rule on the earth and everything that we needed had been provided. When sin entered that changed the original way the plan was set up but it never changed the outcome and the intent that God had for us. Now life will contain what I'd like to call process. These can be situations circumstances bad decisions, left turns when it should have been right, and all the things that encompass the world that we live in, we have to process through to work from the place that we were created from which was the supernatural.

Sometimes you will endure not because of anything you have done, but because of what God has called for you.

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You will start with having faith, but faith has to enlarge continuously. Your faith enlarges as you trust God and commit yourself to Him. This is not always easy but when learning to delight yourself in Him, you will meet Him by His name and character in each name. Remember He Knows the plans He has for your life. The promises that He has given us will come because He can not lie. The challenge is going through the process to prepare you for what He has already assigned for you.

One thing I have learned about trusting God is that He will do it, and I remember the promises He has already provided, just as He said but not in the timing of my will but in His alone. His love for you is endless now and forever, the more we understand that the easier it is to trust Him and wait.

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MENTAL HEALTH WITH WOMEN

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Mental Health News

April/May 2024

MENTAL HEALTH WITH WOMEN BY- JERRILYN DIXON, LCSW

There is just so much that needs to be unpacked when we speak on the subject of Mental Health. And even more to be unpacked when we add Women to the mix. I’m a 60’s baby so some of you probably already know that certain concerns or issues were not talked about at the dinner table, at the family reunion, or at school, we just didn't talk about it. Do some of you all remember this being said to you, “what goes in this house, stays in this house.” It was just a part of our culture in the Black Community not to talk about our family business outside of the home. Our ancestors felt that the “White Man” has kept us down for many years and years and years. And they were definitely not going to talk to a White person about their concerns which the White Man was a

major part of their Anger, Depression, and PTSD. Because certain things were pushed way under the rug, we grew up from little girls, to teenagers, young women, mid age women and now seasoned women, with a whole lot of baggage And a lot of that baggage is described as Anxiety, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Depression, Major Depression, Anger Issues, Codependency, and the list RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE

can go on and on. And for some of us we have become mothers, single mothers, we are working, some of us working two jobs, working on our careers, some of us being wives. We put ourselves to the side and work on others in our families to provide for them what their needs and wants are. We put ourselves under that same rug.

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I remember when I told my grandmother that I was going back to school to obtain a degree in Counseling. Her exact words to me were “you’re going to talk to crazy people?”

But that was and is some of our seasoned people mentality then and still today, a lot of people do not believe in one going to speak to a Counselor, Therapist, Life Coach, Mentor, or a Preacher. And if we have a friend to talk to, sometimes they are just as worst off as we are with their Mental Health.

We were taught not to talk to others about our personal business. In other words keep our business to ourselves, continue with the Anxiety, PTSD, Depression, the Anger from the mental abuse, emotional abuse, sexual abuse that you might have encountered as a child.

In so many words, you will be ALRIGHT! You may think you will be alright. Women, we know how to dress our baggage up.

With trendy clothes, shoes, purse, hair, makeup, we look too cute, too glamorous, too fly, too beautiful to be messed up on the inside. But with all of this masking, we are deteriorating on the inside but on the outside no one could tell of all the hurt, pain, suffering, and emotional turmoil, the RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE

burden, the anger, the sadness, the highs and lows that just sit in the middle of our hearts. Our heart, mind and our will is saying HELP ME! I had so many, many, many Daddy Issues. And I carried those Daddy Issues around with me for years and years.

And I wasn’t never healed and never discussed it because I thought I was ALRIGHT! I kept those Daddy Issues under that same rug and didn’t really know 22

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know why I couldn’t keep a relationship, not even with my husband. I had so much baggage to unpack, I didn’t know where to begin. My Mental Health issues were too much for me to unpack by myself.

My behavior was starting to be the norm for me.

But I knew it was something I had to do and I had to first stop and recognize that my behavior wasn’t normal and my life was just going in a vicious circle.

I began to seek counsel for myself. For me I sought Christian Counseling. And that was the beginning of me unpacking my psychological problems with a skilled Counselor. At times, I was in denial and at some points, I wasn’t tired of being tired. I was so comfortable in my dysfunctional state, that I didn’t want to put the work in to start unpacking so that I

could be a better version of myself. When I began to unpack and to put the work in, my healing journey started. I was embarrassed about my past behavior. Some of my counseling sessions were just me crying which was healing for me as much as a discussion session. My Counselor let me cry which was part of the healing taking place. But now that I am a Counselor, I understand and I can RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE

sympathize and empathize with others that I have come in contact with on a personal level and professional level.

Women let's begin to look at our Mental Health as we look at our physical health. If we want to be physically healthy, we want that and more for our Mental Health. Healthy Physical Health plus Healthy Mental Health equals a Healthy You!

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April/May 2024

SUFFERING IN SILENCE by- Theresa Havard Johnson

In Christian communities around the nation, a silent epidemic exists. It reaches beyond denominational boundaries, geographic locations, and congregational size, affecting leaders who are often viewed as pillars of strength, stability, and resilience by those who look to them for faith, guidance, and hope in Jesus Christ.

This silent epidemic is mental health.

While overall statistics show that most pastors are managing their mental health well, rising trends show that dissatisfaction is increasing and that attention shifts to awareness, resources, and solutions for those who are in crisis.

In recent reports from the National Institute of Occupational Safety and Health (NIOSH), a troubling statistic is revealed: the suicide rate among clergy is 18.6 per 100,000, surpassing the national average for the general population (NIOSH, 2018). This startling data serves as a somber backdrop to the struggles faced by many men and women in the faith.

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In a supporting study from the Barna Group, 49 percent of pastors surveyed have struggled with depression (Barna, 2017). Of that number, women pastors were those most affected.

In addition, Pastoral Care Inc. reports that leading stats from 2021 forward state that 35 percent of pastors are considering quitting ministry, and on average pastors serve between 55 to 75 hours a week 24

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which negatively affects their family life. Even further, 65 percent have not taken vacation time in over five years.

The idea of suffering in silence is based on this truth: pastors or clergy often fail to disclose their struggle. They find it difficult to become vulnerable because of the numerous stigmas tied to their spiritual roles and to mental health.

THE STIGMA MUST BE BROKEN For pastors and other clergy to receive the necessary assistance with their mental health, environments conducive to disclosure must be developed within their congregations—from an administrative level to a congregational approach.

Because this is a holistic issue, the battle must be fought not only in prayer and with spiritual

guidance but with clear, wellrounded education on all levels within the congregation.

Understanding must come that pastors have vulnerabilities, boundaries, and personal issues that must be overcome to continue their roles as effective leaders.

In Numbers 11, Moses cried out to God at the brink of his mental crisis. As a result, the Lord directed him to implement a plan that relieved

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the burden of ministry from him. Moses was near a point of wanting to die at this point in his walk, but was yet chosen by God. In Psalm 42, King David was in extreme mental distress. There was no shame in the scribes of that day making sure the King’s poem of sorrow and overcoming was published for public viewing.

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The Apostle Paul wrote an entire letter to the church of Rome and included information about personal mental battles in chapter seven. Stigmas can be broken and battles can come down by teaching truth and cultivating congregations that understand the importance of caring for and supporting their clergy before mental illness could ever get a foothold. Even the prophet Elijah’s mental health and that of prophet Jeremiah’s struggles were laid before us to learn from. The scripture even tells us that Jesus was well acquainted with grief. They must come to see that the greatest stigma is not being found with a need, but being found without a sound mind without intervention, help, or treatment.

CONSIDER INTEGRATING PROFESSIONAL HEALTH SERVICES The church must also deal with stigmas and controversies surrounding professional treatment. This topic should be discussed thoroughly with church administration and spiritual oversight to establish what a healthy environment looks like within that community, and its

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expectations of health holistically. Then educate the entire congregation accordingly concerning its position.

One of the most effective ways to support clergy is to integrate professional mental health services into church structures. By normalizing the utilization of therapists and counselors, churches can take significant strides in addressing mental health.

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After all, most churches provide counseling services for its members and even make recommendations to other professional services. Why not for its pastors or clergy?

This epidemic is not simply about pastors or clergy being healing alone. It’s about the role the church plays in being the light of Christ for all members of the body without concern for the opinions and thoughts of people that question the strength of its leaders when their souls are troubled.

The mental health of pastors or clergy is a critical issue that has been overshadowed for too long. It is imperative that all levels of the Christian community—from individual congregants to major denominational leaders—work together to create environments where mental well-being is prioritized,

supported, and solutions presented so that leaders no longer feel as if they must suffer in silence. As Galatians 6:2 teaches, we are to "Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." In doing so, we not only uphold the teachings of Christ but also ensure the health and vitality of our spiritual leaders.

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April/May 2024

MENTAL HEALTH by- Trystan Moore, M.Ed, ALC, ICADC

Have you ever felt like the weight of the world transferred from your shoulders to your mind? Have you ever noticed that your thoughts cycle like a song on repeat? Have you ever prayed and came out of prayer to find the emotional turmoil has met you on the other side of the prayer closet door? You are not crazy! The weight is not spiritual warfare. The cycling thoughts actually lead somewhere, and the emotional dysregulation- before, during, and sometimes after prayer is not a result of an ineffective prayer life. Let's talk Mental Health! Mental Health refers to our cognitive, behavioral, and emotional well-being.

Mental health is essentially the way we think, feel, and behave.

As Believers we are taught to set our thoughts on things above, not to concentrate on how we feel, but what we

believe and to behave in ways that bring Glory to God. All of these are true, but these truths work simultaneously with the idea that we are allowed to have natural thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are impacted by life's day to day happenings.

Being impacted by and experiencing life as it comes affects our mental health, which in turn affects the way we process information and feelings. This also impacts the way we behave in response to the aforementioned. Mental health awareness has to be integrated into our faith walk for a holistic approach to salvation. There are many ways to keep your mental health in check on this faith walk. We can engage in introspection, which involves taking inventory of how we feel, what has transpired and what we can do about it. We can practice mindfulness. This is when we are completely present in the moment. We focus on the things that directly correlate to the moment we are in.

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April/May 2024

MENTAL HEALTH We can set boundaries for ourselves and enforce them when engaging with others. We can go to see a licensed clinician or a certified coach. We can incorporate self-care and exercise. The options are endless! You don't have to stay in an overstimulated place. Mental health awareness starts with the understanding that you are a person housed in a body with a soul and spirit. You are a complex macrocosm, meant to be attended to with care. You make the conscious decision to take care of yourself holistically. You do the introspective work, reach out for support by making meaningful connections with others, and most impotantly; extend grace to yourself as you navigate healthily working on your cognitve, behavioral, and emotional welling-being with Jesus at the helm of it all.

-Trystan Moore, M.Ed, ALC, ICADC

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COMPATIBILITY MODE by- Prophetess Tambria Broomfield

From tender ages of 1 to 7yrs old we are taught what is right and what is wrong. We are taught what it means to be rewarded and to be punished. When you do what is right, you will be rewarded. If you do what is wrong, you will receive a punished. Not only do we learn this from our fathers, mothers, uncles, aunties, friends, neighbors but from television. Every child, no matter your upbring has watched cartoons!

Whether you watched, Nickelodeon, PBS, Cartoon Network, ABC one Saturday Morning, Kids WB, and my Favorite Disney you had an awesome time watching it! And if you were a latch-key kid, cartoons were your father, mother, and everything in between. When you are a child, you live in your imagination.

Some of us jumped off things because cartoons made us believe we could fly!

Then comes the moment you realize that cartoons are fantasy and not our reality.

This is devastating moment in our lives.

When as kids find out that we cannot do everything cartoons can do. When I was a kid, I watched Disney Movies all the time.

In every story there was a prince and princess. Little girls and boys are fixated to the TV screen and to the plot. So much so that some of us played house.

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31 1 Corinthians 13:11 New King James When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.

I was given the distinct pleasure to write an article about: God’s Perfect Will vs Your Permissive will in Mate Choosing. The perfect will of God is God's divine plan for your life. This is when God has divinely set your purpose. The scriptures say in: Jeremiah 29:1111 For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.

The Permissive Will of God is when you choose, and He permits. But just because He permits something does not mean it is His will. So, what happens is we get involved, let our emotion go, fall in love or lust and we cannot let go? We tend to bring the person to God, knowing it is not God’s Will but we want what we want. Then that moment comes when our partner cannot fulfill our fantasies and it is devastating. Just like it was devastating when you found our you could not do all cartoons do as a child.

Our mindsets must be renewed according to Romans 12:2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. I am not saying there is anything wrong with wanting a fairytale but what I am saying is don’t allow it to make decisions for you. Today lust is the driving force of relationships and marriages. There is not any staying power or any substance in those things. We end up falling prey to our own lust.

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.

Our mindsets must shift from worldly fantasy into Kingdom reality. Thy Kingdom Come, thy will be done. (Mat 6:10) Before I got married, I prayed for my husband, and I prayed for a man who could be my covering. When I met my husband, I knew who I was naturally and spiritually. I had dreams of my husband and who he was. I understood that marriage was about more than just love but marriage is ministry. It is important to know who you are and whose you are before you choose a mate. I was raised with a sure foundation; my parents were both God–Fearing.

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32 My parents were married for 30 years before my father passed away. Its vital that your relationship has a healthy foundation. It says in Psalms 11:3 King James Version 3 If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?

If you are not grounded and in Christ your foundation is unsure. You must know that you are who God says you are. We as believers desire the perfect Will of God and not our will.

Matthew 6:10 Your Kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.

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Are You a Proverbs 31 Woman & What Does It Mean? by- LaTempis Mitchell Are you a Proverbs 31 Woman? What is a Proverbs 31 Woman? Before you answers these questions, let’s see what the bible says a Proverbs 31 Woman is.

Proverbs 31:10-31 The Passion Translation: “Who could ever find a wife like this one —she is a woman of strength and mighty valor! She’s full of wealth and wisdom. The price paid for her was greater than many jewels. 11 Her husband has entrusted his heart to her, for she brings him the rich spoils of victory. 12 All throughout her life she brings him what is good and not evil. 13 She searches out continually to possess that which is pure and righteous. She delights in the work of her hands. 14 She gives out revelation-truth to feed others. She is like a trading ship bringing divine supplies from the merchant. 15 Even in the night season she arises and sets food on the table for hungry ones in her house and for others. 16 She sets her heart upon a field and takes it as her own.

She labors there to plant the living vines. 17 She wraps herself in strength, might, and power in all her works. 18 She tastes and experiences a better substance, and her shining light will not be extinguished, no matter how dark the night. 19 She stretches out her hands to help the needy and she lays hold of the wheels of government. 20 She is known by her extravagant generosity to the poor, for she always reaches out her hands to those in need. 21 She is not afraid of tribulation, for all righteousness and grace.

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22 Her clothing is beautifully knit together —a purple gown of exquisite linen. 23 Her husband is famous and admired by all, sitting as the venerable judge of his people. 24 Even her works of righteousness she does for the benefit of her enemies. 25 Bold power and glorious majesty are wrapped around her as she laughs with joy over the latter days. 26 Her teachings are filled with wisdom and kindness as loving instruction pours from her lips. 27 She watches over the ways of her household and meets every need they have. 28 Her sons and daughters arise in one accord to extol her virtues, and her husband arises to speak of her in glowing terms. 29 “There are many valiant and noble ones, but you have ascended above them all!” 30 Charm can be misleading, and beauty is vain and so quickly fades, but this virtuous woman lives in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord. She will be praised throughout eternity. 31 So go ahead and give her the credit that is due, for she has become a radiant woman, and all her loving works of righteousness deserve to be admired at the gateways of every city!

(The Passion Translation® is a registered trademark of Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc. Copyright © 2020 Passion & Fire Ministries, Inc.)”

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Repeat & Decree This: “I am Her; She is Me; I AM a Proverbs 31 Woman!”

In these twenty-two verses of Proverbs 31, the word of God describes what a Proverbs 31 is, as well as what she looks like. I love the imagery the Passion Translation of the bible gives; you can picture this woman in your mind. If for some odd reason you cannot, just look in the mirror honey, because you are her and she is you.

When I first saw the title for this article, my spiritual baby immediately LEAPED for joy, and I knew I had to say something. HWOP, Intl Ministries (the spiritual baby God assigned for me to birth out) is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 Woman. The motto scripture of HWOP comes from Proverbs 31:11 NIV – “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.” In order to be a HWOP as well as a Proverbs 31 Woman, you must do it God’s way. I can type that with GODfidence now because I’ve allowed (and continue to allow) Holy Spirit to lead and guide me in being the virtuous woman He created me to be.

So what is a Proverbs 31 Woman you ask? She is a woman who exudes strength and valor in the face of trials and tribulations.

She is a Chayil (virtuous) woman of VALOR, who has great courage in the face of danger, especially in battle.

She is a woman bravery & courage—doing what frightens others.

She is a woman who is not afraid of change because she KNOWS and RELIES on the author and finisher of her faith.

She is a woman who laughs with joy over the latter days, while living in the wonder, awe, and fear of the Lord.

She is a woman who boasts in her weakness because she KNOWS her strengths comes from the Lord.

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She is a Visionary and a Watchman who watches over the ways of her household and meets every need they have.

She is a Wise woman who encourages and builds up her family as well as others.

She is a Rarity, a one of kind.

She is an Ezer Kenegdo aka essential collaborator; a helper corresponding to him (Gensis 2:18).

How do I know what a Proverbs 31 Woman is? I know because I am her and She Is Me. God has given us the blueprint in His word of not only what a Proverbs 31 woman is, but how to become her as well.

Be INTENTIONAL and OBEY His instructions.

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Entrepreneurship and Motherhood: A Dual Journey of Struggles and Joys by-DeMonica Banks The intertwining paths of entrepreneurship and motherhood are both demanding and fulfilling life choices that many women navigate simultaneously. This unique blend of roles often brings its own set of challenges and rewards, making the journey a distinctive experience.

Understanding the struggles and joys inherent in balancing these roles can offer insights into why merging them together can be a powerful choice for many women.

The Struggles of Combining Entrepreneurship and Motherhood 1. **Time Management Challenges**: Both entrepreneurship and motherhood are time-intensive, demanding attention and care. Finding a balance where both can thrive is often the first hurdle, involving a delicate juggling act of priorities and responsibilities.

2. **Financial Pressure**: Starting and sustaining a business requires significant financial investment and risk-taking. For mothers, the financial stability of their family is paramount, adding an extra layer of pressure to the entrepreneurial journey.

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3. **Emotional Rollercoaster**: The emotional investment in both one’s business and one’s children can be overwhelming. The highs and lows of entrepreneurship mirror the joys and challenges of parenting, making for an emotionally charged life.

4. **Social Expectations**: Societal norms and expectations about motherhood and career success can add external pressures, often leading to feelings of guilt or inadequacy when trying to meet these dual expectations.

The Joys of Merging Entrepreneurship with Motherhood 1. **Flexibility and Autonomy**: One of the greatest advantages of entrepreneurship for mothers is the flexibility it offers. Being your own boss means having the autonomy to schedule work around family commitments, not vice versa.

2. **Modeling Independence and Resilience**: Entrepreneurs who are mothers demonstrate to their children the values of hard work, independence, resilience, and the courage to pursue one’s dreams. This is a powerful form of mentorship that teaches children valuable life skills.

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3. **Creative Fulfillment**: Entrepreneurship offers an outlet for creative expression and the opportunity to build something meaningful. For many mothers, this can be a source of personal fulfillment beyond their family life.

4. **Economic Empowerment**: Successfully merging entrepreneurship with motherhood not only contributes to the family’s financial security but also empowers women economically. This can enhance their confidence, self-esteem, and status within the family and society at large.

Why They Should Be Merged Together Merging entrepreneurship with motherhood is not merely a matter of necessity for some; it is a choice that brings deeper satisfaction and fulfillment. This combination encourages a lifestyle where work and family life are not at odds but are complementary aspects of a fulfilling existence. It challenges traditional norms, showcasing that women do not have to choose between their professional ambitions and their role as mothers.

Moreover, the entrepreneurial journey teaches invaluable lessons that enrich parenting, such as the importance of resilience, flexibility, and the courage to pursue one’s dreams. Conversely, the RE-ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE

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Conversely, the insights and emotional growth stemming from motherhood can inspire a more empathetic, responsible, and community-oriented approach to business.

In essence, the journey of entrepreneurship and motherhood, with all its struggles and joys, represents a profound opportunity for personal growth, societal contribution, and the establishment of a legacy. It is a testament to the strength, creativity, and resilience of women who choose to embrace both roles, challenging stereotypes and paving the way for future generations of women to do the same.

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O R D E R T O D A Y

Balancing Acts: Navigating Life as a Mom, Entrepreneur, and Nonprofit Founder by- Erica Young

As a wife, mom, career woman, nonprofit founder, and entrepreneur, I've learned that balance isn't exactly what I seek anymore. Instead, I prioritize my faith and my family, ensuring that my first ministry—my household—is never sacrificed.

However, my journey to this realization was not straightforward. Early in my family life, the idea of being a stay-at-home mom was far from appealing. I was conditioned to work, observing it as the norm all around me, so it seemed like the obvious path to follow. Life, however, had other plans. Our move from Georgia to Germany and the expansion of our family from three to four was a turning point. During this time, my husband’s military commitments grew increasingly demanding, and I found myself at a crossroads, evading what I felt was a divine nudge to focus on our two little princesses at home.

Reluctantly, I heeded this call, and what initially felt like frustration turned into a profound blessing. I was able to be present with my family, and we grew from a family of four to a family of five.

The pivotal change to stay-at-home mom allowed me to complete my graduate degree, which in turn opened the door to my first entrepreneurial venture as a professional copyeditor. Upon our return to the U.S., I connected with a publishing company that began recommending their authors to me for editing services.

Fast forward nearly a decade, and I’ve not only continued editing but have expanded my entrepreneurial pursuits. I now serve as a transformational trauma and mindset coach and have founded a nonprofit dedicated to aiding adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and trauma. This work is challenging but deeply fulfilling, as it aligns with my purpose.

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With my children growing older, their involvement in my professional life has become a rewarding addition. I involve them in some of my business processes, teaching them the intricacies of entrepreneurship and the viability of working for oneself. They see firsthand that pursuing this path is entirely possible for them should they choose it in the future.

One of the most fulfilling aspects of involving my children in my work is witnessing their curiosity and creativity blossom. Whether it’s brainstorming ideas for marketing campaigns or helping them understand the financial aspects of running a business, these experiences not only educate them but also strengthen our bond as a family.

Moreover, I’ve come to appreciate the importance of setting boundaries and creating intentional spaces for both work and family life. While it can be tempting to blur the lines between the two, I’ve learned that carving out dedicated time for each allows me to show up fully present in both realms. Whether it’s designating specific work hours or scheduling regular family outings, these boundaries serve as a reminder of the importance of balance and self-care.

In addition to involving my children in my professional life, I’ve also made it a priority to instill in them the values of empathy, compassion, and social responsibility. Through our nonprofit work, we’ve had meaningful conversations about the importance of giving back to our community and supporting those in need. By exposing them to various social issues and encouraging them to take action.

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I hope to cultivate a sense of purpose and drive within them that extends far beyond their own ambitions.

Through it all, I’ve embraced a philosophy of quality over quantity. I make a conscious effort to step away from work to fully engage with my family, ensuring they never feel second to my business pursuits. When work demands tighten with deadlines and meetings, I communicate openly with my children about the day’s plans.

Our family utilizes a central calendar accessible to everyone, fostering a sense of unity and organization.

My husband and I also maintain a shared digital calendar, helping us stay connected amidst our busy lives.

The journey of an entrepreneur and mom has its challenges, but walking in my God-given purpose makes every step worthwhile. It’s a constant learning process of integrating personal values with professional ambitions, and while the perfect balance may be elusive, the harmony achieved through prioritization and clear communication is profoundly rewarding.

-Erica Trinette Young

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Peace Be Still by- Latarsha Banks Growing up, I never thought I would go through so many negative things in my life. I was always a quiet person and I never wanted to be singled out because of my weight. I learned early that being a bigger girl was frowned upon by kids my age and many adults. I developed a complex about myself, and I often cried. I had been told by one of my uncles that I would grow up to be a dike because no man would want a fat girl.

I had no idea what dike meant. When I found out the definition, I was really hurt and began to hate my uncle for suggesting this is who I would be one day. Between being teased at school and having so many responsibilities at home, because I was the oldest child, I believe this is when I started developing depression and anxiety.

At 10 years old, I was starving for attention and acceptance; I believe my family member saw this and started grooming me so he could molest me. This caused me to have so many more issues. I suffered in silence, and I was so angry on the inside. I could not understand why these things were happening to me. Did God not like me? Is God punishing me? I had so many questions.

At fourteen, I met my kid’s father who was eight years older than I was. By age 15, I was pregnant and alone due to my boyfriend going to prison for a crime he committed before me.

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I was sad and very emotional my entire pregnancy because I felt so alone, I had people to help me, but it wasn’t the same as having my child’s father go through this experience with me. After having my son, I felt even more alone, and I cried a lot while I was in the hospital. I couldn’t even tell anyone what I was feeling because I didn’t know how to put it into words.

Every time I held my baby, I would fall asleep. The nurse would come to get him, and I would be wide awake once he was gone. I explained this to my doctor, and he told me it was nothing to worry about, my hormones were all over the place after having the baby, so these feelings were to be expected. He said things would get better, but they didn’t, I continued to feel lost. At my six-week appointment, I told my doctor that things hadn’t gotten better, and he prescribed me an antidepressant. He really didn’t explain things to me, so I took them until I started feeling better, then stopped. That was one of the worst decisions I have ever made.

My boyfriend got out of prison five months later. I was so happy about that day. No more writing letters and I would have help taking care of my son. The first month he was home was good but the following months, I noticed that something had changed. In my young mind, I felt if I got pregnant again things would go back to the way they were before he went to prison. And that’s exactly what I did, I got pregnant again and things didn’t change between us, it’s almost like it made things worse or so I thought. While pregnant, I found out he had gotten another girl pregnant, and I was so hurt.

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As he was telling me, my young mind could not comprehend the why part of it. I did not know what I had done wrong that warranted him to cheat on me. I never displayed anger, but I was livid! I only told my best friend at the time, and she told me I should leave him but how could I do that with one child and a growing baby on the way? Instead of allowing my anger to show, I pushed it down as far as it would go and moved on with my life.

Before giving birth, my kid’s father accused me of cheating on him which I did because I felt like he wasn’t being faithful to me, but he had no reason to deny my son. I slept with someone else two months before I got pregnant. To punish me, he made me have anal sex with him. He said this is how I could prove to him that I was going to be loyal to him. I did everything he told me to do. He heard me crying but he continued to pound into me with no mercy. It was the most excruciating pain I had felt next to giving birth. He didn’t claim my son until he saw what my son looked like. Once I gave birth, he knew my son was his and he did not request a DNA test.

When I was 17, I moved in with my boyfriend who was living in the basement of his mother’s house.

Things started getting bad within a month of me moving in. This is when he started to abuse me physically. The first time this happened, I could not believe he had hit me. I ran up the stairs and headed out the door to my mom’s house. I was so scared of him. He was 6’4, 350lbs, and wore size 14 shoes. He was entirely too big for me to be fighting. When I made it to my mother’s house, she immediately asked me what was wrong, and I told her. She reminded me that this is what she RE ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE | Page 48

was trying to tell me before I left home. I didn’t listen to my mom because I felt she was only saying this to me because she wanted me to stay home and take care of her kids and her house. Boy was I wrong! I should have listened to her. If I had listened, it would have saved me so much heartache and pain.

We moved out of his mom’s house and into our apartment. I was working and he was receiving SSI. My children’s father became more physically abusive and emotionally he tore me down. He drilled into me that no one else would want me because I wasn’t good enough, or they wouldn’t want me because I was fat. All these remarks weighed heavily on my psyche. I believed every word he said because he loved me, and I felt that maybe I caused him to treat me the way he did. I can remember being so anxious every time he was around because I didn’t know what mood he would be in when he returned home. This went on until he finally decided to leave me. He didn’t just leave me; he took everything out of the house and left me with a mattress on the floor.

I came home from school and couldn’t do anything besides cry. I walked in the door, and everything was gone, I even went to my kids’ room, and he had taken their bunkbeds. This was the most humiliating situation, and I really didn’t want to tell anyone what happened. I laid on the mattress and cried my eyes out. I cried so hard while wondering what was wrong with me that he had to do this to me. I cried until I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was dark outside.

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used furniture that he had bought from someone for $100.00. He knew I didn’t have anything, and I would be grateful for whatever he brought to me. I found out later, that he left me for another woman and took everything he and I built together and put it all in his new girlfriend’s house! I was so depressed but didn’t have time to address it because I had a family to take care of.

Over the next five years, I had two more children and I got married. My husband never put his hands on me but due to his drug issues, he did some crazy things that weighed heavily on me. He cheated on me with my sister, and I couldn't understand why he would do that to me. I had so much more to offer him than my sister did, but it wasn’t enough. Once again, I was left with my feelings of being inadequate and hating myself. I couldn’t shake the feelings that I was having but I learned how to mask the way I felt. By looking at me, one would have thought everything was great in my world. If they only knew the truth, they would be able to see my pain.

About a year after I left my husband, I met another guy, and we started dating. My self-esteem was not at a normal level, it was way below. I allowed this man to use the car my sister was letting me borrow only for him to let his friend take it from him. I didn’t know how I was going to tell my sister because I didn’t want her to go off on me. After calling the police and reporting the car was stolen, I went to the store and bought a fifth of Paul Masson and a bottle of over-the-counter sleep medications. I had decided to end my life. I got home and locked me

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and my two youngest children in my bedroom and I began to drink straight from the bottle.

I opened the sleep medication and took two pills. I did this over and over until I could hardly stand. I staggered my way to the bathroom and sat on the toilet talking to myself. I thought I heard someone call my name, so I looked up, but nothing was there. I then began to hear the words, “I’m not done with you yet” repeatedly. Then I heard “Get up and go sit on the porch. I did as I was told and a few minutes later my sister arrived and found me on the porch passed out. She got me in the car and asked my son what happened. He told her I had been drinking and taking some sort of pill. She asked him if he knew where they were, and he said yes before going back into the house to bring out the items I used to overdose.

My sister rushed me to the hospital where they pumped my stomach. That night I woke up in ICU not able to remember how I had gotten there. The doctor told me I took too much medication. I was mad that I was still here. I wanted so badly to join my grandfather, but it wasn’t my time yet because God had already told me He wasn’t done with me yet.

I tried to commit suicide five more times and was placed on so many different medications trying to find what would work for me. I finally found the right regimen that worked for me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, General Depression, Anxiety, Borderline Personality Disorder, Insomnia, and PTSD. I was prescribed Seroquel, Bupropion, Clonazepam, and Prazosin. I was doing good with the medication until I lost my medical coverage. This was in 2018. I didn’t notice what was happening to my brain until it was too late. I couldn’t focus, I was displaying very unhealthy behaviors, and I was RE ESTABLISH H.E.R. MAGAZINE | Page 51

drinking more than usual. I had been off my medication for about two months when one night I had apparently said I was going to kill my brother and his girlfriend. I’m not sure why I was so fixated on them, but I was, and I went to his job. My mother tried to stop me but there was nothing she could do. Apparently, I went to his job and cut two of his tires then returned home and went to sleep. The next morning my brother called my mom and told her what I had done. She woke me up and told me what he said. I assured her I did not cut his tires. My head was hurting so badly, and I couldn’t remember anything from the night before. I had a psyche appointment that I didn’t want to miss so I hurried and got dressed.

When I was done, I went to my car and as soon as I got in, I found my anxiety medication on the seat, an empty tall can of beer, and a pocketknife that was still open sitting on the passenger seat. I knew at that moment that I had cut his tires and I started crying. I sent him the money to replace his tires then I went to my doctor’s appointment. At that moment, I had given up, I had the bottle of Clonazepam and some Tylenol PM in the car.

I tried to take all of them before going into the office. When I arrived and was trying to check in, they told me I was too late and would not be seen. I remember telling them that I had taken a bunch of pills and then sat on the floor. I think I fell asleep because when I woke up, I was in the mental hospital. I didn’t even know what was going on. I only knew my friend’s number by heart so I called her so she could get in touch with my family for me. I was so upset with myself because I should not have been in the mental hospital again.

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While in the hospital, I did everything they asked me to do without causing any problems. I met with the doctors daily and attended every group they had. I had been in the hospital for about five days, and I was ready to go home because my family needed me. I met with a new doctor who was originally from Africa. I told him everything that was going on in my life and how necessary it was that I return home to my family. As I was rattling stuff off, he asked me if I had any peace in my life. That question stopped me in my tracks. I immediately stopped talking and looked at him with a confused face. He went on to explain how medicine can only do so much and I had to find a way to develop and maintain my peace. I left his office trying to figure out what he was talking about. I thought long and hard about the answer. I concluded that I had no peace, and I didn’t know how to find it. I went to see the same doctor the next day and I began talking about why I needed to get home. He stopped me and said, “I really thought you were going to come back and tell me how you plan to get your peace. But instead, you started talking about what everyone else needs and

not what you need. I’m going to be gone for the next two days so that should give you plenty of time to think.” I was so mad at him but it did make me think about myself and all of the distractions I had that kept me unbalanced.

I took the next two days developing me a plan on how I would find my peace and the first thing I thought about was the bible. I looked up every passage the bible had on peace, and I found one that resonated so clearly to me, “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap; yet your Heavenly Father feeds them.

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Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew, 6:26-27). This passage opened my eyes so much. Within this verse I found PEACE. When I went back to see the doctor, I only talked about myself and the things I needed to do for me.

My last hospital stay was in December of 2018, since then I continue to take my medications, attend counseling, and have a relationship with God. I refused to put someone else’s happiness over mine because I am just as important if not more important as those I am helping. I know how to use the word “No” and stand on it. I have boundaries with other people and with myself. I don’t have a problem removing family, friends, co-workers, or anyone else who think they are going to disrupt my peace.

Now that I have found Peace, I CAN BE STILL!

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