30 Life Lessons By John Sih

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Copyright©2024JohnSih.Allrightsreserved.

Nopartofthisbookmaybereproduced,distributed,ortransmittedinanyformorbyanymeans, includingphotocopying,recording,orotherelectronicormechanicalmethods,withouttheprior writtenpermissionoftheauthor,exceptinthecaseofbriefquotationsembodiedincriticalreviews andcertainothernoncommercialusespermittedbycopyrightlaw.Forpermissionrequests,write totheauthorat jsysih@gmail.com

Disclaimer

This book is intended to provide motivational and informational content to inspire personal growthandpurpose-drivenliving.Theexperiences,opinions,andinsightssharedarethoseofthe authorandarebasedonhisownjourneyandperspectives.Thisbookisnotintendedasasubstitute forprofessionaladvice,beitmedical,Rnancial,orother. eadersareencouragedtoseekappropriate professionalguidanceforanyspeciRcconcerns.Theauthorandpublisherdisclaimanyliabilityfor risksorlosses,personalorotherwise,incurredasaresultoffollowingthesuggestionsprovidedin thisbook.

Acknowledgement

Iwouldliketothankthefollowingindividuals:

MyBestRoleModels:

Myparents:

Mr.SihKiaChoon,John

Mdm.ChuaKweeEng,Mary

MyGreatestInspiration:

Mydaughters:

ClarissaSih

ClarabelleSih

MyMentors:

Mr.SamChoo

Mr.NicholasTan

MyFavouriteTeachers:

Mrs.RoseLiu

Mr.E.Joseph

Mr.JosephDeCruz

MyIdol:

Mycousin:CharlesSih

Foreword by Sam Choo

When I joined the Toastmasters movement over 20 years ago, I had the privilege of meeting John Sih, who became my public speaking mentor. John was instrumental in helping me establish the Simei Toastmasters Club,andhisguidanceleftanindeliblemarkonmyjourney.Today,itis myhonourtoreciprocatebycontributingtothissigni:cantmilestonein hislife’thepublicationofhisbook.

John3sdedicationistrulyinspiring.WritingH0lessonsinjustH0daysisa testamenttohisdisciplineandpassionforsharinghisknowledge.Whether addressingasmallaudienceorapackedroom,Johnalwaysgiveshisbest, embodyingtheessenceofacommittedtrainerandmentor.

xislifestoriesresonatedeeplywithmyown,ignitingadesirewithinmeto documentmyeOperiencesaswell.I:rmlybelievethateveryonehasastory worth telling. ;ur life eOperiences hold invaluable lessons, and sharing themcaninspireandupliftothers.

This book is more than just a collection of lessonsE it is a model for us alltoemulate.—achchapteroMersinsightsdrawnfromlivedeOperiences, remindingusthatthereisalessontobefoundineverymoment,whether joyfulorchallenging.

Tothereaders,Iencourageyounotonlytoabsorbthewisdominthisbook butalsotoconsiderwritingyourownlifestories.Sharethemwithfriends and loved ones it is a powerful way to impact others while preserving yourlegacyforfuturegenerations.

John3sbookservesasbothaninspirationandacalltoaction. ayitinspire youtore ectonyourownjourneyandthelessonsyouhavetoshare.

Introduction

Thisbookisacompilationandsharingofmylife’sjoysandexperiences.All thestoriesaremypersonalexperiences.Thelessonshighlightthemoral(s) ofeachstory,andtheactionsservetoencourageandmotivateyoutotake action.

Thesequotationsaremybestlifelessons!They’refrommyrolemodels–individualsIhavegreatrespectfor.Somequotationsaremyown.These 30lessonshavechangedmylife!JustliketheBible,Ilivethemdaily.They arerulesandguidingprinciplesIliveby.Thesearealsotheveryprinciples IadvocateintheprofessionalcoursesthatIconduct.

It is my sincere wish to share these principles with you, so that they positivelyimpactyourlifeaswell!Ihopethatsomeofmyexperienceswill resonatewithyours.

Eachlessonisstandalone.Youcanscrolltoanypage,atanytime,andit’s anewlesson!Justonelessonaday,andyouwillhave:nishedreadingthis bookinamonth!TaketimetoreOectoneachlesson.

ThisisabookofinspirationPtolivewithfocusedintention,:ndingjoyin growth,andembracinglife’schallengeswithopenarms.

Ibelievethatitisimperativetokeepgrowing,learning,andprogressing, tolivelifetothefullest.Equallyimportantistoknowthatyouarespecial! Youareblessedwithuniquetalents.Itismyintentiontohelpyoudiscover your talents, hone them, and help others with them. 2nce you develop thesetalents,youwilldeveloppassion.Thenyoucan ass–I–2n!You willbegintoinspireotherstodothesame–passingapartofyourselfon toothers.

Lesson 1: Start to Be Great (Part 1)

"You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great."–ZigZiglar

Story

Mymentor,SamChoo,gavemesimpleyetpowerfuladvicewhenIsetout towritethisbook.Hesaid,“Juststartwriting–whatevercomestomind, whateverresonates,whateverexcitesyou.Justwriteonepageaday,andin 100days,you’llhavea100-pagebook!”Thatencouragementwasexactly whatIneededtogetstarted.

Back in 1996, I took a similar leap of faith. I started my training and consultingbusinesswithnotraining,noqualiAcation,andnoexperience intheAeld.TogainexposureandbuildmyconAdence,Igavefreetalksat librariesandcommunitycentresaroundtheisland.2sIlookbackonmy 8j-yearzourney,Ifeelanimmensesenseofprideandgratitude.HadInot followedmyheartandstartedbackthen,Iwouldn’tbewhereIamtoday. Istartedwithnothing,butnowIamrich–richwithfriendshipsforged, experiences to share, success stories to tell, and the profound realiYation thatgreatnessbeginsbysimplystarting.

Lesson

Eoudon’tneedtobegreattotakethatArststep.Theimportantthingisto start,evenifit’ssmallorimperfect.4mbracethezourneyofgrowth,and trustthatprogresswillcomeasyoukeepmovingforward.

Action

?hathaveyoubeenhesitatingtostartLThinkofoneprozectorgoalthat excitesyoubutfeelsoutofreach.Today,takeasmallArststep–writeone page,makeonecall,orresearchonenewidea.5etthisbeyourbeginning, trustingthateachstepwillbringyouclosertoyourgoal.

Lesson 2: Be Disciplined

"Wedon’thavetobesmarterthantherest.Wehavetobemore disciplinedthantherest."–WarrenBute66

Story

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!aoRvearywgas1vofiiealuegg6rullihnl6fbagg6Rehr6eg6yegbeohaiivhn6Re kdE’1rund-Re1ahnreagfn6Revofui,n$6baggsag6Rehriao’fS,hgohbihne0

wreagfne,6f1vgeiS6Ra6yagaoareergfi,her6rahnhnl6f,eSen,1vofun6rvy h6sag1v,u6v6f’eeb1vgeiS:6dFnf6Rer1f6hPa6hfnsag6Re5kOOoagR resar, Sfr 6Rfge sRf bagge,d w reagfne,U hS 6Re lfPern1en6 bavg 1e 6f ’eeb:6yh6sfui,ceSffihgRnf66f0wnePerSahie,1vwTT-6RrfulRfu61v gePenJvearoareerhn6RepAF(dwaigfbagge,ePervvearrhlR6ub6f6Reale

fS7OagaregerPhg6d-Re1fne6arvresar,Sfrbagghnl6RewTT-agaregerPhg6 sag5EOOoagRd

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sfr6Rh60Tagghnl1vwTT-sagacreexeSfr1edwnSao6ywiff’e,Sfrsar, 6f6Re6eg6eaoRvearceoaugefS6ReoagRresar,0

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Lesson

BeA1ar6yBe hgohbihne,0AuooeggSuibefbie,fsRa6unguooeggSuibefbie ,fn$6ih’e6f,fd-fceReai6RvyeHerohgereluiarivan,sa6oRsRa6vfuea6d -f ce guooeggSuiy ce ,hgohbihne, an, nePer 6a’e vfur eveg ft vfur lfaig0 -Recelhnnhnlhgaisavg6Re1fg6,h oui6ycu6fnoeh6ceof1egaRach6yh6 ceof1eg,h oui66flhPeub0

Action

WRa6ePer,rea1yagbhra6hfnyfrlfaivfuRaPeyRaPeabiandA6ra6elhgeRfs vfusan66faoRhePeh6dAe6a,ea,ihnean,iaunoRhn6fao6hfn0peg6hSvfu 1ug6ycu6nePerlhPeub0 hgohbihnehg6Re’evd

Lesson 3: Ask Questions

"Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get betteranswers."—AnthonyRobbins

Story

In1996,whenIrmsteabkmdeconaygkmeemksktmkininugonslptkntknc

fmovessionkp sfekdem, I wks kcjisec to be k sfegikpist mkthem thkn .lst k uenemkpistS!fegikpiststenctohkjeaomegmecibipitykncekmnaomeT’hktqs whenIsktaysepvcownkncksdecaysepvwhktIsholpcsfegikpiseinS’hkt -lestionfmoaftecsoaesolpxsekmghinukncnktlmkppypecaetobegoainu ksfegikpistingoaalnigktionsdippstmkininuS

’henIksdecaysepvhowIgolpcstkyaotijktectovoglsaykttentionknc enemuyonestkbpishinuaysepvkskneFfemtinayrepcS:moathismeQegtion, aytkupinewksbomnC

“Speakingismypassion.Sellingandtrainingismylife,andsharing ismyforte.”

’histkupinesemjeskskmeaincemovwhoIkakncwhktIcoSItengkfslpktes ayaissioninpiveknccolbpeskskfemsonkpkcjemtiseaentS

Ingpkss,Ikpwkysmeaincayfkmtigifkntstoksd-lestionsSAsd-lestionsS

Asd -lestionsS ’he gpkss thkt ksds aome -lestions kpwkys encs lf beinu aomeenukuec,enpiuhtenec,knceafowemecS

0lestionsakFiaisetwoxwkygoaalnigktionS

0lestionshepfgpkmivycolbtskncaislncemstkncinusS

'hkppenuinu-lestionsvomgeaetothindhkmcemkncciuceefemks

kneclgktomS

0lestions kpso hepf ae uklue fkmtigifknts2 cefth ov lncemstkncinu so thkt I gkn epejkte thea to k hiuhem pejep ov dnowpecueS

!o,akdeitkhkbittoksd-lestionsS

Lesson

’hemekmetwogkteuomiesov-lestionsC

Closed-EndedC 0lestions thkt kme nkmmow in vogls knc lslkppy knswemecwithksinupewomcS

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Intemsfemseofenxencec-lestionswithgposecxencecones,bltvoglsaome onksdinuofenxencec-lestionsSAsd-lestionstoaojethegonjemsktion vomwkmcT

13othemmeksonsvomksdinu-lestionsC

1S’okg-limednowpecueS

4S’oukinkfemsonqskttentionS

7S’oepiainktegonvlsionS

8S’omekghknkumeeaentthmoluhgpkmirgktionS

3S’osopjekfmobpeaS

6S’oenkbpesoaeoneepsetoveepsfegikpknciafomtkntS

BS’oceaonstmktehlaipityS

NS’oulicekgonjemsktioninthecimegtionyolwkntittouoS

9S’oukineafkthybybettemlncemstkncinuknothemfemsonqsjiewS

15S’oinQlengesoaeoneS

11S’ohlabpyshowyolhkjednowpecueonksfegirgtofigS

14S’oenkbpekfemsontocisgojemknswemsvomtheasepjesS

17S’obeuinkmepktionshifS

18S’ostmenuthenkmepktionshifS

13S’ostialpktegmektijitykncicekuenemktionS

ReaeabemCJettem-lestionsuetbettemknswemsT

Action

ow is the tiae to stkmt ksdinu -lestionsS lst pide k sdippec intemjiewem, pekmn to ksd -lestions to sopigit kpp the invomaktion yol neec knc wknt—slbtpy,saoothpy,kncfmovessionkppyT

Lesson 4: Being No.1 Doesn’t Necessarily Mean

Being the Best

"BeingseenasNo.1intheeyesofourlovedonesisimportant."
—JohnSih

Story

I was driving with my two daughters sitting in the back seats, chatting abouttheimportanceofbeingNo.1inlife,whenmyelderdaughterasked me, “Daddy, if I am your No.1 daughter, how about Mei Mei?” I was taken by surprise by that question. After composing myself, I replied, “Darling, you are my No.1 elder daughter, and Mei Mei is my No.1 youngerdaughter.”

I once conducted a seminar for a group of dental surgeons titled “The ImportanceofBeingNo.1.”Inthemiddleofmyseminar,aseniordoctor raised his hand and asked, “What’s wrong with being No.2, or No.3? WhymustIbeNo.1?Isn’titverystressfulhavingtochaseaftertitlesand positions?”

Fairquestion,right?Iresponded,“Doctor,mayIaskyouafewquestions?” Hesaid,“Yes.”Icontinued:

“Doctor,whoareyourpatients?”Hisanswer:“Schoolchildren. We have a dental van parked at the school where we treat students.”

“Whatareyourcareerplansforthefutureasadentalsurgeon?” Heanswered:“Tostartmyowndentalclinic.”

“Ifthesechildrenlikeyoubecauseyouaregentlewiththem,you calmtheiranxietieswhentheyvisit,yourtreatmentsarepainless,

youareprofessional,andtheyseeyouastheirNo.1doctor,doyou thinkthesechildrenwouldprefertobetreatedbyyouratherthan byanother,whomtheyconsiderastheirsecondorthirdchoice?”

Hesaid:“Yes.”

Iconcluded:“Wouldn’ttheyrememberyourname?Andwhenyoustart yourownclinic,don’tyouthinktheseverystudentswouldfollowyouand continuetobeyourpatientsbecauseyouaretheirNo.1choice?”Hisreply: “Yes!Thankyou,John,Igotthemessage!”

Asatrainingconsultant,myaimistoestablishinmyparticipants’minds that: “John Sih is the No.1 trainer compared to others I’ve met. He’s professional,entertaining,knowledgeable–asubjectmatterexpert.Ilike hisapproach;he’shumble,humorous,andhisclassesareinteractiveand fulloffun!”

Not necessarily because I’m the best (being the best is subjective), but becauseIamtheir6rstchoice.Becauseofthat,Igetmanyclientswhogive merepeatbusiness–andthat’sveryimportantforme!

Lesson

It is imperative that we establish ourselves as No.1, especially with our lovedones,relatives,colleagues,valuedclients,andclosestfriends.

IfmydaughtersdonotregardmeastheirNo.1daddy,Iwouldlosealltheir love and respect for me! Therefore, working relentlessly to maintain my statusastheirNo.1daddyismytoppriority.

Howaboutyou?WhatareyouNo.1at,andwhoareyouNo.1to?

Action

Make a decision now to determine who is most important to you and beginworkingonearningyourplaceastheirNo.1.Yourspouse,children, relatives,businesspartners,superiors,peers,subordinates,closefriends?

WhatdoyouwanttobeNo.1in?Whatdoyouwanttobeknownfor?

No.1spouse,parent,boss,oremployee?

No.1salespersonoftheyear?

Geady,Set,7o!Seeyouatthetop!

Lesson 5: We Might Not Be in the Sales Profession, But We Need to Learn How to SeO vursel es

“Wemightnotbeprofessionalsalespeople,butwehavetobesales professionals.”–JohnSih

Story

From 1988 to 1996, I worked as a cnanliav ad.isorT bo ue sfllesspfv, I needed to ue more lom–etent and ejelti.e ; not !fst a –ropessionav savesmanH I needed to ue a –ropessionav in saves? qow did I alhie.e thisg I needed toovs, and I needed to alyfire skivvsT I attended avv the trainin: lofrses a.aivauve in mW lom–anW, –artili–ated in saves seminars, uof:ht uookstoread,a––ointedsavesmentors,andhadrovemodevstoemfvateT qerearesomeopthe.avfauveti–sIrelei.ed,whilhIstivvfsetodaWO

1TSevv Wofrsevp crst? 2hen –eo–ve ufW Wof, theW wivv ufW Wofr –rodfltorser.ileTLnvWwhenlrediuivitWandtrfstareestauvished wivvtheWstarttovistenT

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NTSevvwhattheWwantcrst,then:oualkandsevvwhattheWneedT

’T5e.ersevvsomethin:WofWofrsevpwofvdnGtufW?

BT-reatsaves–eo–vearerevationshi–ufivdersT

6T“e a saves –ropessionav, not an order”takerT brfe savesmanshi–ue:inswhenWofr–ros–eltsaWs,75o,IGmnotinterested?EbhatGs whenWofr–owerop–ersfasionkilksinT

UT3o:ilo–ensa–ersonGsmindTAmotiono–ensthewavvet?

8TA.erW save has c.e oustalvesO 5o need, no moneW, no hfrrW, no desire,notrfstTFindawaWarofndtheseoustalvesandveadthem tothelvoseT

9T0nderstandthedijerenleuetweenalonditionandanou!eltionT

Mlonditionisa.avidreasonpornot–roleedin:T

Mn ou!eltion is a reason por not ufWin:, opten dfe to a valk op fnderstandin: or insfxlient inpormationTM –ropessionav lon.ertsou!eltionsintosavesT

1PTSevvthesovftiontotheir–rouvemsT

CWlofrsesaredesi:nedtohev–WofO

“fivdwin”winrevationshi–sT

MlyfireloncdenleT

ARfde–ositi.euodWvan:fa:eT

Qro!eltvikeauivitWT

ARfdelharmorlharismaT

&reatea–ositi.eafraarofndWofT

Dead–eo–vevikeauookT

An:a:eanWafdienleT

Castertheartop–ersfasionT

SevvWofrsevpwithinc.eminftesT

“fivdra––ort,trfst,andlrediuivitWT bhesearelommfnilationskivvsthathev–WofsevvWofrsevpejelti.evWT

Lesson

Lnle Wof alyfire the art op sevvin: Wofrsevp, Wof lan meet anWone, wavk intoanWlom–anWoror:anisation,inanWsitfation,atanW–valeoronanW ollasion, and en:a:e themT 4of wivv eRfde lrediuivitW, –ropessionavism, loncdenle,lharisma,andwinthemo.er?

Action

Startattendin:lofrsestovearnhowtoalyfiretheseskivvsT

1TMskin:theDi:ht@festionsto-ettheDi:htMnswers

YT“odW3an:fa:e;0nlo.ertheqiddenSelretsop“odW3an:fa:e

NT&harisma;&reatin:aCa:netilQersonavitW

’TQfuvil S–eakin: ; qi:h Im–alt Qresentation Skivvs S–eakin: Im–rom–tfwith&oncdenle,&varitW,and&harisma

BT3istenin:;CastertheMrtop3istenin:

6T2hatItCeansto“e5oT1

UTQitlhQerpelt;qowto evi.ertheQerpeltQitlh

8TQsWlho”-eometrilsO Caster 4ofr &ommfnilation and In fenlin:Skivvs0sin:Sha–es

9TSevvin:;qowtoSevvMnWthin:toMnWone

1PTSflless;“eaCa:netopSflless?

boknowmoreauofttheselofrses,–veasepeevpreetolontaltmeatO

qQO9N69N6’8

A”maivO!sWsih :maivTlom

Lesson 6: Achieving Enlightenment

"Knowing others is wisdom; knowing yourself is enlightenment."—LaoTzu

Story

Mymotherwasahighlyintuitiveindividual,andIhaveinheritedthatsixth sensefromher!Ididn’trealiseitatbrst,putthenIstartedtoexcloremore apoutmyhoros.oceCI’maAacri.ornCWAacri.ornunderstandswithout usingwordsCkehavetheapilitytoreadceoclepetterthananyone!It’sin thewayyouloo—,yourpodylanguage,andthelittlethingsIci.—ucapout youjthingsyoumaynoteven—nowapoutyourselfC

I am li—e a mirrorC I have the apility to reBe.t pa.— to you whatever you send outC I .an get along with anyone, yet I .an see through ceocle and understandtheirtruemotivesCTheenvironmentdi.tateshowIpehaveCI .an read the energy around me and ad:ust a..ordinglyC I am always two stecsaheadjthat’smycowerC

Iecitomisewhat“ru.eLeeusedtosay”PBeformless,shapeless,likewater. Youputwaterintoacup,itbecomesthecup.Youputwaterintoabottle,it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot… water can flow,oritcancrash.Bewater,myfriend!-

I have learned to harness that cower and tea.h it to others through Gsy.ho™4eometri.sYCIt’sthes.ien.eofunderstandingceocleandtheart of.ommuni.atingwiththemC

I have a genuine interest in ceocleC I en:oy meeting them and instantly .onne.tingpystartingtoPscea—theirlanguageC-Thisispe.ausePpeople like people who are like themselvesC- I love ma—ing others feel good

apout themselves and derive great satisfa.tion from highlighting their talents,strengths,and.acapilitiesCIen:oypeingtheirmirrorC

IhaveinternalisedtheartofPxenigL-jadactingtoothers’pehavioural stylesand.ommuni.ationcatternsjandpuildingwin™winrelationshicsC

Nes, it’s true! Onowing myself is enlightenmentC Onowing others is wisdomC

Aessog

These.rettopuildingwin™winrelationshicsistobrstunderstandyourselfC LearnwhattriggersyourfeelingsandemotionsCIdentifyyourdominant pehaviouralstylesandyourcatternsof.ommuni.ationC

Uext, develoc the apility to sceed™read the cersonality styles of those around youjyour scouse, .hildren, siplings, in™laws, friends, suceriors, supordinates, .ustomers, and .lientsC Dpserve and intercret their pody languageC

Hnderstand why some ceocle :ust P.li.—- with you while others do notC

Learntoreadceoclewithout:udgingthemC5evelocemcathyCSoneyour gutinstin.tsC

c tiog

Thepestwaytoa.hievewisdomandenlightenmentistobndatoolthat .anhelcyouCMysuggestedtoolisGsy.ho™4eometri.sYC

Gsy.ho™4eometri.sYisthes.ien.eofunderstandingceocleandtheart of.ommuni.atingwiththemC

It is a cra.ti.al tool to helc you understand your dominant pehavioural stylesandidentifythestylesofothers,esce.iallythosewhoare signib.ant inyourlifeCNoulearnthesestylesthroughshacesC

Gsy.ho™4eometri.sY will helc you puild long™lasting and meaningful win™winrelationshicsjpothso.iallyandcrofessionallyC

Learn how to ma—e ceocle li—e you py nurturing the .harisma withinyouC

“e.ome irresistiple in the eyes of your loved ones, relatives, .olleagues,andfriendsC

5eveloc a.ute sensitivity in fo.using on others’ strengthsjma—ingthemirresistipletoyouaswellC

The se.ret is to .ommuni.ate with aclomp through the art of Jhace ElexingC

This is my se.ret to su..ess, and it is my cleasure to imcart it to youC It might:ustpeyourtrumc.ard!

Iam:ustanemail,atext,ora.allawayC

@ohnJihC9mail”:sysih6gmailC.omC SG”83 83 K 2

Lesson 7: It’s OK to Be Kiasu!

"It’s not about being better than others; it’s about being better thanwhoyouwereyesterday."

Whatdoes"kiasu"meaninSinglish?

In Singlish, a colloquial language spoken in Singapore, kiasu describes a personwhoisoverlycompetitive,afraidofmissingout,orexcessivelyeager to win or stay ahead of others. The term originates from the Hokkien phrase,kiameaning"afraid"andsumeaning"lose."

Story

Why is it OK to be kiasu?There is Positive Kiasuism and Negative Kiasuism.

PositiveKiasuismisaboutcompetingwithourselves,notothers.It’sabout winningbybeingthebestversionofourselves,honingournaturaltalents andcapabilities.IbelieveallofusareblessedwithGod-giventalents.Itis ourdutytodiscoverthesetalentsandnurturethem!

When we focus on honing our natural talents and skills, the process becomeslesspressuredandmorepleasurable.Aswedevelopourabilities, wecultivatethepassionneededtoexcel!

I have two daughters. I was actively involved in bringing up my elder daughter and deeply treasure the father-daughter bonding sessions we shared.Itookituponmyselftofetchhertoandfromschooleveryday.This savedheratleastanhouroftraveltimecomparedtotakingthebus.After pickingherup,wewouldhavedinnertogether,gowindowshopping,or

enjoyicecream.Iwouldtakehertoplacesshelovedandspendqualitytime withheruntilshewasreadytoheadhome.

Sometimes, she would suddenly say, “Oh Daddy, I have homework to do,andit’sduetomorrow.”Shewouldthenbemotivatedtocompleteit withoutneedingareminder.Ideliberatelyencouragedhertoplay,easing thepressureofschoolwork,andshe,inturn,feltagreaterurgetostudy. Thisreversepsychologyworkedbeautifullyforus!

Sheattendedtuitionclasses,includingKumonandone-to-onelessons.I alsoenrolledherinbootcampsandholidayprogrammes.Beforesigning herup,IwouldalwaysexplainthebeneMtsoftheseactivities,andwewould proceedonlywhensheagreedenthusiastically.

Ey daughter has always been athletic. She is also taller than her peers. Whenshestartedsecondaryschool,shenarroweddownherchoiceofCUA to either basketball or softball. The coach of the softball team saw her potentialandinvitedhertojoin. Lndertheguidanceofthemostinspiring coachI’veeverknown,herschoolemergedthechampions.

Ey daughter was taking 2 mathematics subjects - Additional Eath and Clementary Eath. After her “O” Fevel prelims, she felt it was way too muchtocope.WediscussedaboutitandshedecidedtodropAdditional Eath,withherteacher’sblessing.(inally,shepassedherClementaryEath at“O”levels!HerstrongestsubjectwasCnglish.Andsheloveswriting!

WhensheenteredPolytechnic,shequaliMedforDirectSchoolAdmission )DSA9. When she entered Lniversity, she was oYered the Wee Kim Wee

Scholarship. —es, Singapore’s Rth President was a journalist. (rom then on, she has been Mnancially independent. I’msuper proud of my elder daughter!

Apositivelykiasuparentwantstheirchildrentosucceed,butthey do so without piling on unnecessary pressure. Instead, they guide theirchildrenindiscoveringtheirtalents,capabilities,andpassions.Such aparenttakesanactiveroleindecision-makingandprovidesunwavering support. They avoid blame, criticism, or belittlement, choosing instead to encourage, praise, and empower their children. If things don’t go as planned,it’ssimplyanoutcome:achancetoreturntothedrawingboard and re-strategise together. This approach helps children handle setbacks positivelyandwithresilience.

Ey younger daughter majored in Cnglish Fanguage and Cnglish Fiterature.Sheisananimallover!Duringherschoolholidays,sheworked as a dolphin trainer at 3esorts World Sentosa. Her love for animals eventuallytookhertoKorea,whereshetrainedBelugawhales.

Now, she works with horses, employed by a company whose tagline is0 “Sometimes,ittakesananimaltomakeusabetterhuman.”Iamequally proudofmyyoungerdaughter!

Lesson

Being kiasu is part of our Singaporean identity:be proud of it! Be PositivelyKiasu!Byembodyingpositivekiasuismasaparent,youcanbea rolemodelforyourchildrentoadoptthesamemindset.Thisensuresthat both you and your children achieve success by maximising your natural talents and capabilities, while developing an unquenchable passion to excel.

Action

Cmbracethefactthatwearekiasu!Harnessthepowerofpositivekiasuism anduseitasaspringboardtoachievemassivesuccessinyourlife.

Lesson 8: Success = Talent + Passion = Profession

"For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." —

Matthew6:21

Story

Success=Talent+Passion=Profession

1.Somepeopleask:WhatifIhavenopassionforwhatIdo?

2.Othersask:HowdoIyndmqpassioninlife?

TheanswertotheyrstAuestionis:,llofushavepassionsinlifeb!utqou havetodiscoverthemN–oticeIsaiddiscover.PassionsYsomeofushave morethanoneloveinlife.Someofusdiscoverourpassionverqearlqbothers laterbandstillothersneverdiscovertheirsintheirlifetime.

TheanswertothesecondAuestionis:Youhndtme!inyourmeartlgou yndthem!qdarinxtotrqeverqthinxthatappealstoqou.gouyndthem !qtakinxrisksY!qtakinxtheroadlesstravelled.

goualsoyndthem!qaskinxpeopleclosetoqou:Whathaveqounoticed a!out what I can do !etter than others? What have qou o!served I do eRceptionallq well? gou can askyoursefH these Auestions too. Le-ect on theseAuestionsferventlqandoftenenouxhbandtheanswerwilleventuallq revealitselftoqouN gesNSuccess=Talent+Passion=Profession

IlovemaxicNMqfavouritemaxicianisShinjim.IaminaweeverqtimeI watchthismaestroperform.Hisspecialitqisclose0upcardmanipulation andsleixhtofhand.InterestinxlqbShinisalsoanaccomplishedmusicianN

Hewaseducatedasapianist.,tninebhisxrandmotherxiftedhimaviolinb !utafterafrustratinxpracticesessionbhesmashedit.Theviolinwasoutb andthepianowasinN

Shin dou!le0ma5ored in piano and telecommunications. Howeverb in 2&11battheaxeof2&bhewasdiaxnosedwithcarpaltunnelsqndromein !othhands.Hehadtomakeachoice:PianoorMaxic.HechoseMaxicN

MisNostbotaAfepcco!:fism!entsL

1.2&17 F 2&1U Y,ppeared twice on Penn F Teller: 8ool ’sN and fooledthem!othtimesN

2.2&1G YWon ,merica(s )ot Talent z13th Season$b earninx pri9e moneqof’SC1b&&&b&&&.

3.2&1VYWon,merica(s)otTalent:The“hampionsbtakinxhome ’SC27b&&&batrophqbandthetitleof“hampion.

Shinisself0tauxhtNHelearntmostofhiscardtricks!qwatchinxgouTu!e and practised for eixht hours a daq. Todaqb he is the headline act at a lonx0termresidencqattheMiraxe“asinoHotelinjas”exas.

4I’mtryingtochangetheoutlookoncardmagic–tomakeitmoreartistic, morevisual.BYShinjim

4That is the only use of smoke I’ve seen in a magic trick that was sincerely beautiful.BYTeller

4Wecaughtsomestuffthatyoudid…butattheendofthat,evenwiththe littlemovesIsaw,Ifeltitwasperfect.BYTeller

Shin jim discovered his talentb turned it into his passionb and made it his profession. He had two loves: Music and Maxic. He took the road less travelledb worked hard on his craftb and perfected it to entertainb mesmerisebandwowhisaudienceeverqtimeheperforms.

,t32zatthetimeofwritinx$bShinjimhasitall:successbfamebandwealth. Mostimportantlqbheliveshispassion.

Passion=PassYIYOn

goucanevenyndhimteachinxhistricksongouTu!e.JelikeShinjim.

"iscover qour talentb nurture qour passionb turn it into qour professionb andshareitwithothers.That(showqouachievetruesuccessN

Iesson

’nderstandinxwhatqouarepassionatea!outcanhelpqouyndqourself and xive qour life direction. "iscoverinx qour passion is essential if qou wanttolivealifeylledwithpurpose.

Gns:irationHro!tme reatsL

TaqlorSwiftbMostSuccessfulSinxer:4Youarewhatyoulove.B

Samuel j. Kacksonb Hixhest0Paid ,ctor: 4Painters get up and

paint.Writersgetupandwrite.Iliketogetupandact.It’snota bigdeal.Itmakesmehappy.B

Michael Schumacherb Most Memora!le 81 Lacer: 4Once somethingisapassion,themotivationisthere.B

,rnoldSchwar9enexxerbMostSuccessfulJodq!uilder: Ibelieve inloveitorchangeit,ratherthanloveitorleaveit.B

Lafael–adalbMq8avouriteTennisPlaqer:4Ilovethecompetition …maybeIlikefightingtowinmorethanwinningitself.”

Peleb Most Well0 nown 8oot!aller: 4Success is no accident. It is hardwork,perseverance,learning,studying,sacrificeand,mostof all,lovingwhatyouaredoingorlearningtodo.B

pction

"iscoverqourtalent.Honeit."evelopqourpassion.Thenmakeitqour profession.

Lesson 9: My Cousin, My Benchmark

"If youwereonlyhalfassmartasCharles,Iwouldbeveryproud ofyou!"—MyMom

Charles-inoneofthe regularmealswithme.

Story

Charlesistheonlychildofmydad’sfourthbrother.Heisanintellectual andextremelysuccessful.Wewerebothbornin1961.Heusedtotopthe class, while I used to fail. He loved studying, while I loved playing. My granddad was a brilliant man. He gave both Charles and me tuition –in every subject! Charles would always complete his homework, while I wouldattendtuitionclasseswithoutdoingmine.Charleslookedforward totuition,whileIplayedtruant.Needlesstosay,Ihadtobearthebruntof mygranddad’sdisappointment.

At the age of 17, Charles had already obtained a Private Pilot Licence (PPL),takinghisproudparentsupforjoyridesinaCessna.Afterhis“A” Levels, Charles joined the Republic of Singapore Air Force (RSAF) as a Oghter pilot. I failed my “:” Levels, so I had to retake them. My mum cameuptomeandaskedY“?ourcousinCharleshasjoinedtheRSAFasa Oghterpilot.Whatareyougoingtodo4”

IrepliedY“Mum,Ifailedmy“:”Levels,soIneedtorepeatSecondary8.”

MymumsaidY“If youwereonlyhalfassmartasCharles,Iwouldbe veryproudofyou!”

I knew my mum loved me. After all, I was one of her favourites, being the youngest son. I always wanted her to be proud of me! After the secondattempt,Iobtainedmyfull“:”LevelcertiOcate.Iappliedtobea OghterpilotintheRSAFbutwasrejectedbecauseIwastoldI’mpartially

colourTblind.Aftermy“:”Levels,IjoinedtheRSAFandappliedtobea 2echnicianbecauseitwasa1qTyearcontract.Iwasrejectedagain!Instead, Iwaso$ereda7Tyearcontractasanaircraftmechanic.Withoutthinking, Isigned!

Ifailedto5ualifyasamechanic,soIwasneverpromoted.Ifailedthesame exam seven times! Still, I had to serve the full seven years. I remained a Privateforsevenyears!Myincomeduringthosesevenyearswasameagre 0G3G.3G.

Forsevenyears,Ifeltlost,angry,helpless,resigned,anddejected.Ihated the RSAF, I hated my colleagues in 1qD S5uadron, and I hated Charles! ItoldmyselfthatifIwaseverpostedtohiss5uadron,Iwouldmakehis aircraftcrash!2errible,terriblethoughts.

Charles was promoted to Veneral, with his appointments including BeputyCommanderof2engahAirbaseandCommanderofPayaLebar Airbase, overseeing a few thousand soldiers! He retired as the Chief of Sta$,AirSta$.

We did not contact each other during our tenure in the RSAF. It lasted more than 1q years. I was too embarrassed, and I felt guilty. After both ofuscompletedourserviceintheAirForce,Isummonedthecourageto inviteCharlestodinner.ItoldhimhowIhatedbeingcomparedtohim.I explainedthatitwasnothisfaultandapologised.Heacceptedmyapology, andwehavebeenhavingregularmealssince.

?ou see, I was secretly admiring my cousin. He was a highTEier. He has alwaysbeenmyinspirationandrolemodel.Ilookeduptohimandtook himasmybenchmark.IconvincedmyselfthatIcouldbeassuccessfulas him.Afterall,wesharethesamegranddadandsurname!

IusedtoaddressCharlesas“Sir!”andhewouldreplyY“IamSih,notSir.”

My mum had never been to school, and the only way she knew how to motivate me was to compare me with Charles. She did it with the best intentions,butItookitveryhardandbecameverynegative.Ihadverylow selfTesteemandbelievedIwouldnevermakeitinlife.IthoughtIwould nevermakemymumproudbecauseIwasdestinedforfailure.

AfterleavingtheRSAFin19--,IjoinedAIAasaOnancialadvisor.Mylife started to turn around. I began to achieve. :ne of the best books I have ever read wasY 2hink and Vrow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Another book thatstartedmeonthepathtosuccessisY2hePowerofPositive2hinking byBrNormanJincentPeale.2heultimatebookthattrulychangedmy lifeisYCommunicating…eyond:urBi$erencesbyBrSusan .Bellinger.

In 1996, I started my own training consultancy business, specialising in interpersonalcommunicationskills.Ihaveneverlookedbacksince!

IrealisedthatIcouldn’ttakemymum’swordsatfacevalue.Herintentwas farmoreimportantthanherwords.Inmyheart,Ihadalwayswantedher tobeproudofme!

MumpassedoninqDDG.…eforeshepassed,Ioverheardhertellingoneof my auntsY “I don’t know what ohn does. He says he’s a trainer, but he doesn’ttraindogsorpeopleingyms.Hesayshe’sateacher,buthedoesn’t teachinschools. …utIknowthatwhenmysonJohnopenshismouth, peopleputmoneyinhispockets!”

Finally,MumunderstoodwhatIdo.

Lesson

All of us are blessed with talents that are special and uni5ue. Bon’t play yoursongstosomeoneelse’stune.Createyourownmelody,thenshareit withtheworld. ntertainotherswithyouruni5uebrandofmusic!

Action

Ifyouareaparent,nevercompareyourchildrenwithothers.2reateach ofyourchildasspecialindividualswithuni5uegiftsandtalents.

Special gifts and talents are blessings that children are born with. 2hese can manifest in noticeable areas, such as music, maths, technology, drawing,orsports.Lessnoticeablegifts,suchastheabilitytounderstand others’ feelings, caring for others, or even remembering past events and conversationsindetail,aree5uallyimportant.

Everyone has at least one thing they are great at.Asparents,youare the best people to help your children discover and develop their uni5ue giftsandtalents.

Lesson 10: 10 Ways to Love

“Let

the love you give come back and find a place in you.”

-

Listenwithoutinterrupting.

Sharewithoutpretending.

Speakwithoutaccusing.

Enjoywithoutcomplaint.

Givewithoutsparing.

Trustwithoutwavering.

Praywithoutceasing.

Forgivewithoutpunishing.

Answerwithoutarguing.

Promisewithoutforgetting.

Story

Thisismyfavouritequotation!Itrytolivebythese10waystotrulylove. Itisaconstantstruggleandarealchallengeformetoabidebyallofthem!

1. Listen without interrupting. I xnd this e,tremely di-cult to do! I tend to jump in and interruptW especially when I disagree with what the other person is saying. I once had a discussion with a business partner. It started o: cordially but soon escalated into a verbal sparring sessionW

with each of us interrupting the other. Tension built upW and it became heated until one of us called for a time5out. “e never called a truceW and thepartnershipwasdissolved.

SincethenWIhavehadtoconstantlyremindmyselftobemorepatientand evenpinchmyselftostopinterruptinginaconversation.Thisisaworkin progress!

2. Share without pretending. Ephesians 4”1K” To Vshare without pretending' in a biblical sense means we are called to speak the truth withlove.Itinvolvese,pressingourselveshonestlyandgenuinelyWwithout deceitorfalsehood.

IxndthisrelativelyeasytodobecauseIbelievetrustcanonlybebuiltby speakingfromtheheart.Liesarenotonlydeceitfulbutcanalsobehurtful. CeepasecretifyoumustWbutdonotlie.

3. Speak without accusing. E,pressing feelings in a non5judgemental or non5blaming way can help to create healthy relationships and avoid argumentsandresentment.

Herearesometipsfore,pressingfeelingswithoutblame” 2alidatebothparties"feelings.

Avoidconfusingfeelingswiththoughtsoropinions.

Approach the conversation with the goal of clearly e,pressing feelings.

6reatesolutionstogether.

Ixndthatthisapproachyieldsrespectfulandharmoniousrelationships.

4. Enjoy without complaint. This means being patient and accepting hardshipscalmly.PhilippiansN”14says”—Doallthingswithoutgrumbling ordisputing.—Thisverseemphasisestheideathatweshoulddoeverything withoutcomplainingorarguing.

Lifeisalwaysfullofupsanddowns.EnjoyandtreasurethetimesweareupW andendurethetimeswearedown.EachtimeIe,periencetheupsinmy lifeWIthankGodforthem.EachtimeIfacethedownsWIasktheAlmighty forstrengthandresiliencetoovercomethem.Ialwaysprayformoreups thandownsWandIamfortunatethatHehasgrantedmethat!

5. Give without sparing. This means being generous and sel8ess in givingW without holding back or hesitating. It implies a willingness to provideassistanceWresourcesWorsupporttootherswholeheartedly.

“hateveryouhaveinabundanceWshareit”

IfyouhavemoneyWgivemoney.

IfyouhaveloveWgivelove.

IfyouhavetimeWlendalisteningear.

IfyoumeetsomeoneinneedofcompassionWgivefreely.

IfsomeoneneedsahelpinghandWe,tendit.

6.Trust without wavering.Thismeansholdingfasttoone"shopeand confessionwithouthesitationorcompromise.

“Knock,andthedoorwillbeopened.Seek,andyouwillfind.”

Bo one has truly failed until they give up! I started my speaking and training career with no qualixcationsW no trainingW and no e,perience.

ArmedwithpassionWbeliefWandconviction7almostlikeaprophecythat Iwouldbecomeane,emplarytrainingconsultant7Ibeganknockingon doors. Some doors openedW and that was all I needed. That was NR years agoWandIOmstillgoingstrong.

7. Pray without ceasing.Thismeanshavingaheartinclinedtoprayer andmakingitahighpriority.ItinvolvesprayingoftenWrelyingonGodfor strengthWholdingtemptationsbeforeHimWandaskingforHishelp.

PrayercantransformlivesWchangecircumstancesWandprovidepeaceand perseverance.ThisWIwholeheartedlyendorse!

8. Forgive without punishing. This means giving up the desire to punishsomeoneandinsteadchoosingtobuildapositiverelationshipwith them.

BobodyisperfectWsoletOsnote,pectperfectionfromanyone.

9etransparentWhonestWandrespectful.

6onsider what it would be like to be in the other person"s position.

FocusonthejourneyWnotjusttheoutcome.

Evenifyoudon"talwaysagreeWberespectful.

“orktogethertocreatecommitment.

Focusonestablishingwin5winrelationships.

9. Answer without arguing.Ixndthise,tremelyusefulandrelatively easy to do. As a trainerW I always encourage my class to ask questions. It isafactthattwopeoplecanhavecompletelydi:erentopinionsaboutthe sameissueandbothcanbecorrect!

espectbegetsrespect. ncewehavemutualrespectWinsteadofarguingW wecanreachanagreement7oratleastagreetodisagree.

10. Promise without forgetting. This means making a commitment or pledge to do something and diligently following through without neglectingit.

Thisishowtrustisbuilt.Ibelieveinpromisingalotanddeliveringeven more.

9eing consistent7consistently doing what you say you will do7builds accountabilityandmakesyousomeoneeveryonewantstoworkwith.

Lesson

Loving is listeningW sharingW givingW trustingW prayingW forgivingW not accusingW not complainingW not arguingW and keeping promises. Love makestheworldgoround.Lifebecomessomuchbetterwhenpeopletreat oneanotherwithloveandcare.

Action

Applythese10waystoloveWandyouwillWinturnWbecomemorelovingW lovelyWandlovable.

Lesson 11: Positive Thinking vs Positive Believing

“Positive thinking is a great start; but positive believing completesthejourney.”–JohnSih

Story

In Lesson Two, I shared the importance of being disciplined to pass my IndividualPhysicalPro(ciencyTest)IPPT.k

InhisbooD,ThePowerofPositiveThinDing,NrkVorman:incentPeale encouragesreaderstoE

xBpectthebestandgetitk

Aelieveinyourselfandineverythingyoudok

Nevelopthepowertoreachyourgoalsk

AreaDtheworryhabitandachievearelaBedlifek

Improveyourpersonalandprofessionalrelationshipsk

’ssumecontroloveryourcircumstancesk

AeDindtoyourselfk

I started practicing positive thinDing, but I realised it wasn—t enoughk It taughtmetothinDpositively,butsomethingwasmissingkThenitdawned onmeWIneededtobelievepositivelykFhenIpositivelybelieveIcando something,mymindconvincesmybodythatIcanachieveitk

1or eBample, I plan to go for a run today, but it starts to rain heavilyk

PositivethinDingtellsmetherainwillstopWbutIhavenocontroloverthe

weatherkFhatifitdoesn—tstopMPositivebelievingensuresthatregardless oftheweather,Iwillstillgetmyrunk7ybeliefpushesmetoruninthe rain, drive to the Vational Stadium to use the sheltered tracD, or run up anddownmy?-!storeyblocDthreetimeskPositivebelievingensuresIget mytrainingdone4

IbelieveIcanWandthat—showImaDeithappenk

Fhen I was selling life insurance, I used to spend 7onday evenings maDing calls to (ll my appointment booD for the following weeDE two appointments a day, ?6 appointments a weeDk Positive thinDing told me thatifIputinthehardworDofcallingprospectsfromYpmto?0pm,I would(llmyappointmentbooDk;et,thatdidn—talwayshappen4

Positive believing, however, told me that if I couldn—t secure all ?6 appointments on 7onday, I should continue calling on Tuesday, Fednesday, and even Thursday and 1riday if neededWuntil all the appointmentsweremadek

It—s not about the number of hours spent calling or the number of calls madeO it—s about maDingas many calls as necessary to hll t1e 4p a..ointmentsT g1at is .ositive believin!P uositive believin!

!Larantees sLccessk 2nce I found this missing linD, success naturally followedk

Aesson

It—snotonlyabouthowhardweworDbutalsohowpersistentlyweworD until we achieve the desired resultsk 3est if you are tired, but giving up shouldneverbeanoptionkPositivebelievingprovidestherelentlessdrive to reach the results we desirek ’nd when success comes, it will feel truly sweetk

ction

Fe fail only when we give upk Start thinDing positively and practicing positivebelieving,andsuccesswillbeguaranteedk

?kStriveforpersistence,notperfectionk

RkNevelopandmaintaingoodhabitsforyourlifestylek

jkTaDecareofyourself,andyourbusinesswilltaDecareofitselfk

6kTaDeactionnowk

5k3ememberEsuccessisa“ourney,notadestinationk

”Positive thinDing is a great startO but positive believing completes the “ourneyk

Lesson 12: Be Brave, Be Different

“Don’tbeafraidofbeingdifferent…Beafraidofbeingthesame aseverybodyelse.”

Story

Don’tfocusonwhateveryoneelseisdoing.Instead,focusonwhatfeels rightforyouandalignswithyourpurpose.

Beforeembarkingonmytrainingandspeakingjourney,Iapproachedafew localprofessionals,askingthemtomentorme.Unfortunately,allofthem turned me down. In the 1990s, the Seld of local speaking and training professionalswasstilllimited.

-o, I started on my journey the best way I could. I began by giving free presentations and training sessions to nonxproSt organisations, communitycentres,andlibraries.IneededtobuildmyconSdence,skills, andeTperience.

I joined qoastmasters in 1990, which provided me with incredible eTposure and a uni(ue opportunity to eTperiment and develop my eTpertise.qoastmasterswasmylaboratory.Ipracticeddeliveringprepared speeches, impromptu speeches )speaking o6 the cu6A, and honed my evaluationskills.

Ibeganwithshortseminarslastingonetotwohoursandgraduallymoved on to delivering workshops that spanned one to three days. qhrough qoastmasters, I gained the courage to transition from free speaking engagementstopaidones.

In199C,siTyearsafterjoiningqoastmasters,IregisteredMccentqraining —onsultants on 1st :ay. Before charging fees for my courses, I used

qoastmasters as a safe environment to eTperiment, eTplore, and eTpand. I approached inxhouse qoastmasters clubsHthose belonging to speciSc organisationsorcompaniesHando6eredtoconductfreetrainingsessions for them. I participated in speech contests at various levels, challenging myselfagainstsomeofthebestspeakersqoastmastershadtoo6er.

Ms I grew, I developed fullxday courses that gained popularity among participants. I asked myself? Oow can I stand out from the rest of the trainersE

qheanswer?IneededtobecomeaspecialistinmySeld.Imarketedmyself asacommunicationskillstrainingspecialist.“nceInarrowedmyfocus, mygoalsbecameclearandspeciSc.

I enrolled in courses speciSc to communication skills, not only to learn from eTperts but also to evaluate their training skills and techni(ues. I neededtounderstandmycompetition.:ystrategywastoidentifythebest intheSeldandthenstrivetosurpassthem.

Oowever, I made sure to emulate rather than imitate. I observed their speaking styles, delivery skills, and training methodologies and then developed my own uni(ue style. qhat’s how I stood out, how I became di6erentfromtherest,andhowIearnedmyplaceasasoughtxaftertrainer.

Lesson

Di6erence makes us uni(ue, unrepeatable, and valuable. ”mbracing uni(uenessfosterspersonalgrowthandinnovation.

“nce you stand out from the crowd, you become a role model, an icon, andabeaconHaforcetobereckonedwith.

–Nooneevermadeadifferencebybeinglikeeveryoneelse.PW!.q.Barnum

Action

Mskyourself?

OowdoyoustandoutinyourprofessionE

Oowdoyoudi6erentiateyourselffromothersE

7hatmakesyouspecialanduni(ueE

”mulate)notimitateAtherolemodelsandmentorsinyourSeld.Develop yourownuni(uestyleandbecomearolemodelforothers.

7ishingyoualltheverybest

Lesson 13: Learn From the Mistakes of Others

“Smart people learn from their own mistakes; the smartest peoplelearnfromothers’mistakesandstrengths;stupidpeople keep repeating the same mistakes, because they are either unawareofthosemistakesortheyrefusetochange.”–JohnSih

Story

A common mistake lecturers and trainers make is asking their students or trainees to reserve their questions until the end of the lesson. This discourages students or trainees from developing the habit of asking questionsduringclass.

Herearethekeydisadvantagesofthisapproach:

1.LimitedTwo-WayCommunication:E,ectivecommunication thrives on interaction. Encouraging questions during the lesson fosters lively discussions2 deeper understanding2 and a vibrant learningenvironment.

W.Missed Opportunities for ClariAcation: xhen trainees need further ewplanation2 the best time to address their questions is immediately23hilethetopicisfreshintheirminds.

Q.Ussessment of gnderstandinB: 'uestions during the lesson allo3trainerstogaugetheirtraineesjlevelofunderstanding.This feedbackhelpstrainersad4usttheirdepthandbreadthofteaching toelevatelearning.

’.ConAdenceQuildinB:Ans3eringquestionsearlyande,ectively demonstrates the trainer9s competence and conIdence. This reassurestraineesthattheyareincapablehands.

5.Lost uestions:Traineesoftenforgettheirquestionsbytheend ofthelesson2missingoutonvaluablelearningopportunities.

“nmyclasses2“al3aysencouragetraineestoaskquestions.Yyinstruction isusually:!Askquestionsanytime.”ouarenotinterrupting3henyouask relevantquestions.“nfact2youareenhancingyourlearningOL

Lesson

—bserve. Disten. Dearn. Absorb as much as you can. Take ewperiences;yoursandothers9;aslessons.Dearnfromboththemistakes andstrengthsofothers.

Takenoteson3hyandho3peoplefail.

AvoidIguringouteverythingonyouro3n.

Trynottorepeatmistakes.

Share3ithothers3hatyoulearnfromobservingothers9mistakes.

6on9tblameyourselforothersformistakes0instead2usethemas steppingstonesforgro3th.

Dearningfromothers9mistakesnotonlyhelpsyouavoidmakingthesame errorsbutalsoenablesyoutoidentifythesymptomsandconsequencesof thosemistakes2allo3ingyoutomitigatetheme,ectively.

Uction

“fyouareateacher2lecturer2trainer2oreducator2encourageyour students to ask questions throughout the lesson. This fosters meaningfult3o 3ayinteractionandaddsmorefuntotheclass.

“fyouareastudent2makeitahabittoaskmorequestions. ememberTony obbins9advice:"Qualityquestionscreateaqualitylife. Successfulpeopleaskbetterquestions,andasaresult,theygetbetteranswers."

Lesson 14: You Have the Right to Choose People

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walksout.”–WalterWinchell

Story

Chooseyourfriendswisely!Intoday’sworld,peopleoftenmisunderstand thetruemeaningoffriendshipandloyalty.

When I was in secondary school, I had two classmates, A1 and A2, whom I considered my best friends. We did almost everything together—shopping, bowling, going to shows, and visiting tourist attractionsinSingapore.Ourfriendshipseemedunbreakable,butithad neverbeentrulytested.

Oneday,afterstartingBasicMilitaryTraining(BMT),ImetupwithA1 andA2duringmy-rstbookjout.Iwaseagertoseethem,eventhoughmy crewcutmademelooklikeIhadFustbeenreleasedfromprison!

We went shopping at Metro in Ear Past zla"a and found a bin of cheap wallets. While browsing, I shoved my own wallet into my back pocket.

Aswewereleaving,twoburlymenstoppedusandaccusedmeofstealing awallet.Withoutidentifyingthemselves,theydraggedmeintoanoKce, searched me, and found my wallet. After con-rming it was mine, they dismissedmewithacurt3OY,youcango,3withoutevenapologi"ingfor thehumiliation.

When I emerged, A1 and A2 were nowhere to be found. They had abandoned me without a word! At that moment, I reali"ed that true friendshipistestedintimesofneed,andtheyhadfailedthetest!

Rearslater,IhadanothereLperiencewithtrust.IfoundedtheTampines Hegionalqibrary(THq)ToastmastersClub,whichbecameasuccess.As clubpresidentfortwoyears,Istartedgroomingapoliceinspectortotake over.:ewasenthusiastic,attendedclubeventswithme,andseemedeager tolearn.:owever,amonthbeforethehandover,hebackedout,saying,3I neveragreedtotakeover.3:islastjminutewithdrawalleftmescrambling forareplacementandfeelingbetrayed!

Have you ever been played out before? Left in a lurch? What was your reaction?Didyouforgivethepersonwhoplayedyouout?

“Agoodfriendknowsallyourstories.Abestfriendhelpsyouwritethem.”

Lesson

The older I get, the fewer friends I keep. But that’s really -ne! I prefer ?ualityover?uantity!

WithagecomeseLperience.Asyoupassthroughlife,yougothroughmany trials. As you get older, you -nd that there are a few friends who have supportedyouduringthesediKculttimes.Roulearntodependonthose selectfewandhavelittleornotimeforpeoplewhowerenottherewhen youneededthem.

Todetermineifsomeoneisworthconnectingwith,askyourself4

1.Can they listen and empathi"e with your feelings and vulnerabilitiesD

2.CantheyshareonanemotionallevelD

x.Goyoufeelconnectedafterspendingtimewiththem,ordoyou feelaloneintherelationshipD

“.IsthereassurancethatyourbondwillberespectedandprotectedD

These ?uestions will help you focus on building mutually bene-cial relationshipsratherthanonejsidedones.

…”ood friends care for each other, Close friends understand each other, Truefriendsstayforever5beyondWords,beyondGistance,beyondTime 5!

Action

Asyouventureouttobroadenyournetworkoffriends,youcancategorise thetypeandleveloffriendsyoumeet4

1.The Hi! And Bye! Friends4 These are ac?uaintances. Ac?uaintances are people with whom we have surfacejlevel interactions, without any signi-cant emotional involvement in therelationship.

2.Casual Friends: These are social friends—people we might befriendattheoKce,gym,orsocialclub.Thefoundationofthis relationshipoftenrestsonsharedenvironmentsoractivities,such asasportsteam,aworkplace,orahobbygroup.Theconnection

“A

ismoretiedtothesharedactivitythantoastrongpersonalbond.

x.Close Friends4 These are our besties—the people in our inner circle. These are the friends that we bond with instantly, talk withoften,shareourstruggleswith,andcon-deourdeepestand darkest fears in. These are often the friends whose values most closelyalignwithourown.

“.Lifelong Friends4 qifelong friends are the people we’ve been friends with since childhood. These are often the friends with whomyoucanbeyourmostauthenticself.

truefriendacceptswhoyouarebutalsohelpsyoubecomewhoyoushould be.”

Lesson 15: Be Great! (Part 2)

"Not everybody can be famous, but everybody can be great, because greatness is determined by service." –Martin Luther KingJr.

Introduction

Inlessonone,Isharedabouttakingtheprstste’tobegreat.Inthislesson, Iwdliketoshareyithcouasignipmant’ersoninfcliTeyhofImonsider tobetrulcgreat.

zobegreatfeanstoinmreaseinsixe,toev’andbecondcourmurrentle“el, tobebecondtheordinarcora“erage.zhefeaningoTbeinggreatistobe evme’tional,if’ortant,ordistinguished.Manc’eo’le,intheorc,yantto be”greatY.Detfanc’eo’leinliTe,realistimallc,donotyantto’utinthe e?ort o“er a sustained ’eriod oT tife to amtuallc amhie“e greatness. zhec arelookingTorthe”semretstosummessYthat,infancyacs,donotevist.Bo couknoyyhatbringssummessGHardworkbringssuccess.

Story

Seinggreat,tofe,isbeingmonsistentlcgood.Creatnessinasingleinstanme man be redumed to lumk. Creatness is not instantaneous. Creatness is amhie“edoneste’atatife.Creatnessisearned.Seing”greatYisnotabout beingbetterthansofeoneelse.Itisaboutbeingtrustworthy,reliable, dependable,disciplinedandhard-working.

Mcdad,!ihKia8hoon,John,yasagreatfanjIha“ese“ensiblings.Mc dadyastheonlcbreadyinneroTourTafilc.Mcfufyasahofefaker. !he su’’orted fc dad bc looking aTter us at hofe, ’ro“iding a yarf, ’eameTul, lo“ing and semure en“ironfent, so Bad had the ’eame oT find

togoouttoyork,assuredthatMufyouldtakemareoTthingsathofe.

BadhadasemureWob.Peyasami“ilser“ant.Peyorkedreallchardto’ut ToodonthetableToralloTus.Pe’utusallthroughsmhool.-egreyu’ inabigbungaloyhouse.-ehadabiggardento’lacinandrunaround. -hatforemouldyeaskTorG

Bad ser“ed the moffunitc bc being a grassroots leader. Pe hel’ed our Mefber oT Earliafent bc going on yalkabouts yith hif and arrangingfeetAtheA’eo’lesessions.Pesatonfancmoffittees,likethe 8offunitc8entreqvemuti“e8offittee.PeyasthemhairfanoTthe!t. Jose’hwsBcingFidFssomiation,andheyasamhurmhyardentoo.Seing yellAedumated,Badusedhisabilitiestohel’theunder’ri“ilegedandthe unedumated.Eeo’leusedto“isitusyithallkindsoTre(uestsTorBadto ask the go“ernfent Tor hel’. Fnd fc dad yould hel’ thef tc’e letters and’osttheftotherele“antauthoritiesontheirbehalT. )orthoseyhosere(uestsyeregranted,thecyould“isittothankfcdad, bearing giTtsj zhe nuferous giTts ye remei“ed attested to the nufber oT indi“iduals fc dad had hel’ed in his liTetife. Pe yorked hard, hel’ing ’eo’le,tillhis“erclastdacj

Bad yas ayarded the Eingat Sakti Mascarakat RESM9 Eublim !er“ime MedalasyellastheSintangSaktiMascarakatRSSM9Eublim!er“ime!tar. I af su’er ’roud oT fc dad Tor being fc shining star and fc best role fodel.PeyasfcUomkoTCibraltarjIafevtrefelchonouredthatfc dadnafedfeaTterhif.zhankcou,Badj

Lesson

-eha“eonlconeliTetoli“e.Li“eittotheTullest.Li“eittothebestoTour abilitc.Li“eittohel’others.Li“eittoser“e.Li“eittogi“ejzhisisyhat Iw“elearntTrofBad.

"At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought but what we built; not what we got but what we shared; not our competence but our character;notoursuccess,butoursignificance.Livealifethatmatters.Live alifeoflove!"

Action

McdearTriends,yhatgiTtsandtalentsdocouha“eG

—setheftohel’others.

0ne’ersonstri“ingTorevmellenmemanins’ireandele“atee“erconearound thef.Fscou’ursuegreatness,coubringoutthegreatnessinothers.

Bethatonepersontoday.

CreatnessevistsyithinalloTus,butyefustmhoosetoefbrameit.-ith thetifeyeha“e,letwsmoffittoli“ingourbestli“es.

!tart1toSeCreatj

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people alwaysdothat,butthereallygreatmakeyoufeelthatyoutoo,canbecome great."–Markzyain

Lesson 16: Health is Wealth

“Health is like money. We never have a true idea of its value untilweloseit.”–JoshBillings

Introduction

Intoday’sratrace,everyoneisworkinghardtoestablishasuccessfulcareer andacquirewealth.Theratracebeginsalmostthemomentweareborn–fromgettingintoagoodschooltosecuringthatprestigiousjob.However, millions now want to break free from this cycle, with these two words sheddinglightonthefrustrationfeltbytheyoungergeneration.

Many people neglect their health by not engaging in a regular exercise programme, maintaining a healthy diet, or taking care of their mental health.Toleadahealthylife,wemustbeCtandwellbothphysicallyand mentally.

Ifyouareconstantlyeatingjunkfoodyetdonothaveanydiseases,itdoes not mean you are healthy. !onsuming unhealthy food naturally implies thatyouarenothealthyATherefore,toliveahealthylife,youneedthebasic essentialsthatconstituteahealthylifestyle.

Ysweworkhardtoearnwealth,wealsoneedtoworkequallyhardtoearn health–sothatwecanenjoybothwealthandhealthAWes,wecanhavethe bestofbothworldsA

Story

ShenIjoinedYIYasaCnancialadvisor,thecompanywasregularlythe top performer in the industryA My colleagues were very ambitious and highly focused on acquiring wealth. 3ome of the top performers were

formerregularsinthemilitary–justlikemeAIobservedthattheywerealso veryCtandhealthy.

They led holistic and balanced lives – they inspired meA I took them as my role models. I worked hard to establish my career and continued my exerciseregime.

In my second year, I bought my Crst car – a brandznew black Honda !ivicA3ixmonthslater,IalmostdiedAIstoppedatatraPclightzcontrolled pedestrian crossing, and a drunken van driver crashed into me from behindA My car lunged forward and hit the taxi in front of me. I was sandwichedbetweenthetaxiandthevan.

I was unconscious for a few seconds. Shen I regained consciousness, I realisedthatmyforeheadwasbleeding.MyseatbeltsavedmeAIonlyhad a cut on my right eyebrow. My car was a total wreckA I had to sell it and boughtanotherbrandznewcarAThistime,aMa1daYstina–asaloonwith concealedheadlampsthatlookedsportyA

Shat did not kill me made me strongerA Sith renewed hope, drive, and enthusiasm, I started focusing on selling 0ersonal Yccident policies. I believedthatgettingcoveredforpersonalaccidentsshouldbeeveryone’s top priority. My life became much more precious to me, so I started workingharder,exercisingmoreregularly,andeatingmorehealthily.

Shen I went back to 3embawang Yirbase for reservist training at 42E 3quadron, my former colleagues and reservist comrades saw the transformationinme.Iwaswealthier,healthier,morepositive,andamuch

moreconCdentpersonA(achyear,whenIreturnedforreservisttraining,I wouldcloseafewcases.3o,IlookedforwardtoservingmyreservistdutiesA Thereasonswere)

4.I got to meet my former Fand new5 comrades and sell them insurance.

2.$or those former comrades who were not looking after their health, it was a great opportunity for me to sell them health insuranceA

-.$orthepilotsandaircrewmembers,Isoldthem0ersonalYccident policies.

:.Igotarespitefromprospectingstrangers.

6.I earned an extra “:EE for achieving the gold award for my Individual0hysical0roCciencyTestFI00T5.

”.Mycomradeswouldspreadmy9ragstorichesLstoryamongthem, whichwasthebestadvertisementIcouldget.

Iwasenjoyingthesatisfaction,fulClment,andexhilarationofreapingthe rewardsofmyhardwork,passion,achievements,andrecognitionA

ShenIstartedmyspeakingandtrainingcareerin4OO”,Ibeganadvocating theimportanceofHolisticRivingandmaintainingaBalancedRifestyle.

Holisticlivingisabouttrulyunderstanding,supporting,andhonouring the interconnectedness, uniqueness, and overall wellzbeing of the SH—R( person from all angles, on all levels – physically, mentally, emotionally,socially,spiritually,andenergetically.

Istartedmyworkinglifeasaregularinthe8epublicof3ingaporeYirforce F83Y$5. Ys career soldiers, we were supposed to be physically Ct, but someofmycolleagueswereobese.3omeledunhealthylifestyles,indulging in smoking, drinking, and neglecting their diets. Rife in the Yirforce was really ideal in many ways) good pay and job security. However, my colleagueswerewealthybutnotveryhealthyA

Iwasdeterminednottobelikethem.Iwasatthebottomofthefoodchain, withlowpayandnojobsecurity.Iwasworriedaboutmyfuture.Ididn’t knowwhatIwasgoingtodoaftermycontractended.IfeltlostA

3o, I focused on studying hard – taking night classes – and exercising to keep myself Ct. It became a lifestyle for me) continuous studying and upgradingmyselfwhilemaintainingahealthyandbalancedlifestyle.

Y balanced lifestyle is a way of living in which a healthy balance exists between the time and e ort spent working, the time spent with family andfriends,andpersonaltimeforyourself.Itinvolvesmakingdecisionsin variousareassuchaswork,leisure,relationships,andpersonalhealththat promoteoverallwellzbeing.

Having a balanced lifestyle is essential for achieving optimum levels of physicalandmentalhealth.

Lesson

Healthiswealthmeansthathealthisthemostvaluableassetwecanhave, necessaryforahappyandsuccessfullife.

Here’show)

Physicalhealth)8educestheriskofillnesses,increasesePciency, andstrengthensthebody.

Mental health) Boosts conCdence and provides a calm outlook onlife.

Longevity)0romotesalonger,healthierlife.

Success)(nhancesfocusandproductivitytoachievegoals.

Happiness)Bringsjoyandfreedomfromdisease.

Well-being) (nsures allzaround physical, mental, and social health.

“Healthisastateofcompletephysical,mentalandsocialwell-being,andnot merely the absence of disease or infirmity.”– Sorld Health —rgani1ation

FSH—5

Rivingaholisticandbalancedlifestyleenablesustoenjoythebestthatlife hastoo er bothwealthandhealth.

Action

“Ifyoudon’tmaketimeforyourwellness,youwillbeforcedtomaketimefor yourillness.”

“When you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling better, looking better,andattractingbetter.Itallstartswithyou.L–IdilYhmad 8egardlessofyourcurrenthealthorwealthstatus,worktowardachieving equilibrium Cnancial, physical, and mental health. This balance is the keytoatrulyfulClling,complete,andsuccessfullife.

Because the most important relationship in your life is with yourself.

Lesson 17: How To Acquire Confidence

“Nooneisbornwithself-confidence.Self-confidenceislearned andearnedthroughexperience.”–DenisWaitley

Condcenpe is a vositiue anc assrmec hincset tbat enafles veovle to gape pballen,esk ta.e mis.sk anc vrmsre tbeim ,oalsI ’t-s ogten pbamaptemisec fy a sense og selgwfeliegk selgwjomtbk innem stmen,tbk anc a vositiue ortloo.I

’t also inuolues bauin, gaitb in one-s pavafilitiesk pohvetenpek anc –rc,ehentI

“Confidenceisthefirewithinyou.It’sinteriorbravery.It’samusclethatyou buildeveryday.”RSofinHbamha

Story

?oj pan soheone jbo bas lihitec gomhal ecrpation fepohe pondcent ancsrppessgrlT…bisishystomy:’felieuetbemeameonlytjotbin,stbat ,iueavemsonpondcenpe1

KI(nojlec,e)anctberseogit2I

EIx!vemienpeI

…bat-sitJqrsttjoI

1)Knowledge:

’ co not baue a bi,b leuel og gomhal ecrpationI …o ha.e rv gom tbatk ’ mealisec tbat ’ bac to ap8rime a bi,b leuel oginformal educationI ’ meac uomapiorslyancponcrptece!tensiuemeseampbontbetovipstbat’teapbI’ attencecpormsestoleamngmohtbee!vemtsanctoap8rimehomecevtbanc

fmeactb in hy cohain .nojlec,eI Continrin, ecrpation is an on,oin, –ormneygomheI

—t tbe fe,innin, og hy svea.in, anc tmainin, pameemk ’ cic not baue e!vemienpek so ’ bac to jom. bamc on ,atbemin, .nojlec,e jbile slojly ancsrmelyap8rimin,tbenepessamye!vemienpeI

’ahabi,blyuisralanc.inestbetipleamnemI’li.etoofsemueveovleanchy srmmorncin,sI’baueanaprtesenseogsitrationalajameness'tbeafility tovempeiuekrncemstanckancmesvonctoanysitrationI’tmainhyselgtofe ajame og jbatzs ,oin, on amornc he anc rse tbat ingomhation to ha.e cepisionsancauoicbaPamcsI

—.inestbetipleamnemissoheonejboleamnsfesttbmor,bvbysipalaptiuityk torpbk anc houehentI …bey ogten vmegem to leamn fy coin, matbem tban vassiuelyafsomfin,ingomhationtbmor,bmeacin,omlistenin,I

…o leamn eNeptiuelyk ’ neec to ,et fotb geet jet'to ,et into tbe tbip. og tbin,sancvmaptisekvmaptisekvmaptiseJx!vosrmeis.eyIOmaptipecoesNOT ha.e he vemgeptk feparse vemgeption coesNOT e!ist in hy jomlcI —s a brhank’ahihvemgeptJ?ojeuemk’jill.eevstmiuin,tojamcsvemgeptin, hypmagtIOmaptisin,pommepttepbni8resanchetbocolo,iesonlyha.eshe fettemI

’alsomealisectbat.nojlec,ealoneis"B…vojemI’t-stbevmovemrseog .nojlec,etbatha.esrsvojemgrlJ(nojin,alotisnotenor,bIWeneec to sbame jbat je .nojI …be home je sbamek tbe home pohgomtafle anc pohvetentjefepoheinsbamin,I

"Knowingisnotenough;wemustapply.Willingisnotenough;wemustdoIL RFmrpeMee

2)Experience:

…beme ame tjo jays one pan ,ain e!vemienpe1 fy leamnin, gmoh one-s ojne!vemienpesancfyleamnin,gmohotbemveovle-se!vemienpes)BOx2I x!vemienpeisnotonlytbenrhfemogyeamsjesvenccoin,sohetbin,frt alsotbenrhfemogtihesjesvenccoin,it'ancponsistentlyapbieuin, ,oocmesrltsI

“ome!ahvle1Uytmaineesogtenas.k”Ynpleqobnkbojpan’svea.asjell asyorTGUyansjem1

KI”“imstkhyintentionistotmainyortosvea.fettemtbanheI

EIHeponck to fe fettem tban hek yor neec to ap8rime .nojlec,e anceamnyorme!vemienpeinahrpbsbomtemtihetban’cicI“om e!ahvlekig’celiuemKAsveepbesahontbkyorpanceliuemEAI…bat jaykyorjillta.ebalgtbetihe’too.to,aintbesaheahorntog e!vemienpeI’g’too.oneyeamkyorporlcapbieuetbesaheleuelin si!hontbsJ3orjillsoonsrmvasstbee!vemienpeancpohvetenpe ’baueIG

— hrpb easiem jay to leamn is tbmor,b otbem veovle-s e!vemienpesI Meamn tbmor,btbevojemogofsemuationIBfsemuejbatotbemscoeNeptiuelyanc ehrlatetbehIBfsemuejbatotbemscoineNeptiuelyancauoicha.in,tbe

sahehista.esI…bisjaykyorprtcojnyormleamnin,prmueancappelemate yormojn,mojtbJ

“Onceyou’vegainedenoughdepthandbreadthinyourknowledge,combined with sufficient experience, you will acquire the competence, inner strength, andself-beliefthatnaturallyleadstoaheightenedlevelofself-confidenceIG RqobnHib

Lesson

KI4atbem as hrpb cevtb anc fmeactb og .nojlec,e as yor panI

Fepoheasrf–epthatteme!vemtI

EI4ain as hrpb e!vemienpe as yor panI x!vemienpe is sohetbin, nofocypanta.eajaygmohyor'it-syormsrvemvojemJ

Cohfinefotbkancyorjillap8rimehassiueselgwpondcenpeJ

—ccitionallyke!empisebasavojemgrleNeptonpondcenpeISe,rlame!empise meleasesencomvbinskjbipbintemaptjitbtbeoviatemepevtomsintbefmaink vmocrpin, a vleasrmafle state og hincI ’n trmnk yor-ll uiej yormselg in a home vositiue li,btIWben yor e!empise me,rlamlyk yor not only ihvmoue vbysipally frt also geel home hotiuatec to apt in jays tbat frilc yorm selgwpondcenpeIWbenyorloo.,oockyorgeel,ooctooJ

Action

KIUa.e ligelon, leamnin, a ligestyleI Ua.e pontinrors ecrpation yorm,oalI

EI4et as hrpb e!vosrme as yor panI Omaptisek vmaptisek vmaptiseJ "otbin, mevlapes e!vemienpe'it-s bamcweamnec frt jomtb euemy eNomtI

Ixhfam.oname,rlame!empisevmo,mahheI

4etdtJMoo.,oocJ“eel,oocJ—ncFe4oocJ

4etCondcentJ

Lesson 18: 8 SkiTs hatA rHe dtH, Ao LetHnB uWA

“Learningisatreasurethatwillfollowitsownereverywhere.” –ChineseProverb

1.PublicSpeaking

2.EmotionalIntelligence

3.Listening

4.EffectiveCommunication

5.Adaptability

6.BeingConsistent

7.GettingEnoughSleep

8.HavingEmpathy

Story

1)PublicSpeaking

Iwasfortunatetohaveacquiredtheartofpublicspeakingearlyinmylife. Idiscoveredthispassioninschool.MythreefavouriteteacherswereMrs. Rose Liu, Mr. Joseph DeCruz, and Mr. E. Joseph. They were the three whohelpedmediscovermypassionforspeaking.

Mrs. Liu was my form teacher when I was in Secondary 3 and 4. She was our English Language and Literature teacher. She would choose six students, divide us into two teams, write down the motion on the

chalkboard,andaskustodebateonthemotion.Thosewereimpromptu sessions that I enjoyed the most! Mrs. Liu called me “The Dark-Light Horse.”Iaskedherwhy.ShesaidIwasveryquietinclass,butwhenIspoke up,Imadeanimpact!Imademyclassmatessitupandtakenotice.Iloved it!Sheselectedmetorepresentmyclassintheinter-classdebates.

Mr. Joseph DeCruz and Mr. E. Joseph were the teachers in charge of ourLiterary,Drama,andDebateSociety(LDDS).Theyselectedmeand trained me to represent Montfort Secondary School in the inter-school debates.

My three favourite teachers instilled in me the courage, conNdence, and conviction to speak up and be heard! I went on to obtain a Licentiate fromTrinityCollegetoteachE:ectiveCommunicationSkills.Ichoseto becomeatrainingconsultantandeducatorbecauseofthem!Yow,Iwant tobeMrs.Liu,Mr.DeCruz,andMr.Josephtoallmytrainees,toinstill inthemtheimportanceofspeakingup,lettingtheirvoicesbeheard,and verbalising their beliefs and convictions. I aim to inspire my trainees to discovertheirtalentsandpassionsinlife.

WhyArePublicSpeakingSkillsSoImportant?

Professionally’Thehigheryouclimbuptherungsofyoursuccessladder, the more you will be required to speak. Oou might have to talk about your work, specialty, product, or organisation at a conference, make an acceptancespeechafterreceivinganaward,makeanonlinepresentation, give a report to management about your teamAs performance, or even

takepartinanoratoricalcontestinthefuture!CreatingtheNrstpositive, memorable, and impactful impression is an art that you will need to acquire.

Socially’OoumayneedtomakeacongratulatoryspeechatyourbrotherAs orsisterAsgraduation,giveatoastatyourfriendAsbirthdayorwedding,or deliveraeulogyforalovedone.Ooumaywanttoinspireagroupthatyou leadorsimplyintroduceyourselfatanetworkingmeeting.

Oouwilldi:erentiateyourself.Oouwillstandoutfromthecrowd. Oouwillbecomemorevisibleandrespected.

Oouwillenhanceyourpersuasiveskillsandwinoveryourclients, superiors, peers, as well as subordinates, with your oratorical prowess.

Oou will be seen and respected as a leader for being able to communicateconNdently,clearly,andconcisely.

Oouwilllearntobee:ectiveinconvincingyouraudienceofyour ideas,thoughts,andbeliefs.

MostoftheclientsthatIcoachinpublicspeakingskillsengagedmeonly when they became CEQs, managing directors, managers, or leaders in society.ItAstoolate!Thebesttimetopickupthisskilliswhileyouare still climbing the success ladder,notwhenyouAvereachedthehighest rungsoftheladder!

Gllleadersneedtospeakinpublic!Thereisnorunningawayfromit!This skilltakestimetolearnandevenmoretimetopractiseinordertobecome competent.ToacquireconNdence,youneedknowledgeandexperience!

2)EmotionalIntelligence

Gccording to the father of EH, Dr. Daniel Boleman, Emotional Intelligence or EH is the ability to understand and manage your own emotionsaswellasrecogniseandin9uencetheemotionsofthosearound you.

TheNveelementsofEmotionalIntelligenceare’

Self-Awareness’ The ability to recognise and understand your ownemotions.

Self-Regulation’ The ability to regulate and manage your emotions.

Self-Motivation’ Faving the passion to fulNl your inner needs andgoals.

Empathy’Theabilitytounderstandhowothersarefeeling.

SocialSkills’Weingabletointeractwithothers.

?ive/aystoImproveOourEH’

Practiseobservinghowyoufeel.

Payattentiontohowyoubehave.

Huestionyourownopinions.

Takeresponsibilityforyourownfeelings.

Celebrateyourpositives,butdonAtignoreyournegatives.

Emotionalintelligencehelpsyouhandleemotions,connectwithpeople, make good choices, and stay calm when life gets complicated. EH is one ofthefactorsthatallowspeopletonavigatecomplexsocialsituationswith easeormaintaincomposureunderpressure.

3)Listening

“Learntobethelasttospeak.”–SimonSinek

/eareallexpectedtobee:ectivelisteners’

Wossesrequiresubordinatestolistenintelligently.

Colleaguespreferthatwelistenenquiringly.

Teachersexpectstudentstolistenattentively.

Parentswanttheirchildrentolistenobediently.

?riendsneedustolistenunderstandingly.

Spousesyearntolistentoeachotherlovingly.

Counsellorsarerequiredtolistentotheirclientsempathetically.

Fowever,askyourself’

FaveIeverbeentaughttolistenK

DoIknowthedi:erencebetweenhearingandlisteningK

DoIknowhowtobeanactiveandparticipativelistenerK

FowwelldoIactuallylistenK

Remember,wehavetwoearsandonemouth.Therefore,weshould listen twice as much as we talk. Unfortunately, most people talk twiceasmuchastheylisten!

16CharacteristicsofaBoodListener’

1.LooksatmewhileIAmspeaking.

2.Huestionsmetoclarifyand'orsubstantiateapoint.

3.Showsconcernbyaskingquestionsaboutmyfeelings.

4.ParaphrasessomeofthethingsIsay(toshowempathy).

5.DoesnAtrushme.

6.Ispoisedandemotionallycontrolled.

7.Respondswithanod,smile,orsoundslike“Gha”or“Vhm.”

8.Payscloseandundividedattention.

0.DoesnAt interrupt. (Interruption’ Gsking questions unrelated to thetopic).

1U.%eepsonthesubjectuntilINnishmythought.

11.Gsksrelevantandappropriatequestions.

12.Vnderstandsmyfeelings.

13.Gvoidsjumpingtoconclusions.

14.Gvoidsassumptions.

15.Gvoidsmind-straying.

16.Gvoidsformingacounter-argumentwhileIAmspeaking.

“Donotlistenwiththeintenttoreply,butwiththeintenttounderstand.”–StephenR.Covey

4)ECective:ommunication

“Communicationisaskillthatyoucanlearn.Ifyouarewillingtoworkat it, you can rapidly improve the quality of every part of your life.” –Wrian Tracy

E:ective communication is the process of exchanging information, thoughts, and emotions in a way that ensures the intended audience understands the message. It involves both speaking and listening, and it—smorethanjustconveyinginformation.E:ectivecommunicationalso involvesmakingsuretheotherpersonfeelsheardandunderstood.

ECectivecommunicatorshavetheseskillsO

Activelistening’Theylistentowhattheotherpersonissaying.

Empathy’ They understand the needs and feelings of the other person.

:onciseness’Theykeepthingssimple,straight,andtothepoint.

Respect’ They consider others— opinions and feelings when speakingwiththem.

qpen and honest communication’ They deliver good or bad newswithempathy.

Asking Guestions’Theyaskquestionsiftheydon—tunderstand

astatement,argument,orpoint.

Biving and receiving feedback’ They encourage others and helpthembecomestrongercommunicators.

Understanding body language’ They ensure they exude positivebodylanguageandareskilledinreadingandinterpreting others—bodylanguage.

xreakingdowncomple5topics’Theybreakdowninformation inwaysmostpeoplecanunderstand.

Gn e:ective communicator is someone who can clearly and completely expresstheirideaswhilealsobeingreceptivetotheinputofothers.They canunderstandtheemotionsandintentionsbehindwhatisbeingsaidand makeothersfeelheardandunderstood.

F)Adaptability

“Adaptabilityisbeingabletoadjusttoanysituationatanygiventime.”–John/ooden

GdaptabilityisavaluableskillintodayAsfast-pacedworld.Ferearesome waystobecomemoreadaptable’

Embrace change’ iew change as an opportunity to learn and grow,ratherthanasourceofstress.

Develop new skills’ Continuously build both hard and soft skills,likecommunication,problem-solving,andcreativity.

xeopentonewe5periences’Wroadenyourknowledgebytaking on new projects, learning a new language, or traveling to new places.

6indthesilverlining’Lookforpositivesinsituationsthatdon—t goasplanned.

Develop good interpersonal skills’ We patient, be an active listener,andstaymotivated.

Gnadaptablepersoncankeepupwithshiftingpriorities,projects,clients, and technology. They are skilled at dealing with changes at work or processingupdatesintheirenvironmente:ectively.

“)xeing:onsistent

"Successdoesn'tcomefromwhatyoudooccasionally.Itcomesfromwhatyou do consistently. Success isn't always about greatness. It's about consistency. Consistenthardworkleadstosuccess.Greatnesswillcome."–Gnonymous

Consistencymeansbehavinginthesameway,havingthesameattitudes, orachievingthesamelevelofsuccessovertime.

Ferearesomeexamplesofbeingconsistent’

Personal Life’ Wrushing your teeth twice a day, 9ossing daily,

going for a walk in the garden, jogging every morning, eating healthily, exercising a minimum of three times per week, and readingabookforhalfanhourdaily.

Professional Life’ Biving 1UU commitment, being dedicated to constant growth and improvement, consistently delivering qualitywork,andalwaysbeingpunctual.

xuilding Relationships’ Regularly nurturing deep and meaningfulrelationships.

Prioritising Tasks’ Vsing the GWCDE technique to prioritise tasks,whereGisthehighestpriority,Wisaverage,andsoon.

Working Through :hallenges’ Identifying the cause of a disruptionandworkingthroughittoavoidfuturedisruptions.

Setting Aside ”Me7 Time’Wlockingtimeonyourcalendarfor yourself,suchastenminutesaday.

Weingconsistentmeansbehavinginapredictableandreliablemannerand followingthroughoncommitments.Italsomeansmaintainingthesame attitudestowardpeopleorthingsandachievingthesamelevelofsuccess consistently.

Consistencyleadstoimprovedskilllevelsandcreatesapositiveaura.

8)BettingEnoughSleep

“Sleepisthebestmeditation.”–TheDalaiLama

The recommended amount of sleep for a healthy adult is at least seven hours. Most people don—t need more than eight hours in bed to be well-rested. Bo to bed and get up at the same time every day, including weekends.Weingconsistentreinforcesyourbody—ssleep-wakecycle.

Betting enough sleep is important for your health and well-being, including’

Physical Health. Sleep helps you maintain a healthy weight, improve your heart health, and lower your risk of chronic conditions like diabetes. It also helps your body repair damage fromstress.

Mental Health. Sleep can help you reduce stress, improve your mood, and enhance your relationships with others. It also helps youthinkmoreclearly,improvelong-termmemory,andperform betterinschoolandatwork.

Safety. Sleep can help you avoid injuries and motor vehicle accidents.Drowsydrivingisacauseofthousandsofcaraccidents eachyear.

Athletic Performance. Sleep provides the energy and motivation to perform well in sports, especially in endurance

activitieslikerunning,swimming,andcycling.

Browth and Development. In children and teens, sleep supportsgrowthanddevelopment,particularlyintheprefrontal cortex, which is responsible for problem-solving, reasoning, and regulatingemotions.

Sometipsforgettingbettersleepinclude’

Gvoidinglate-nightsnacking,sugar,ca:eine,andalcohol.

Turning o: electronics, T s, and computers two hours before bed.

Sleepinginadarkroom.

Makesleepapriorityinyourschedule.Thismeansensuringyourworkor socialactivitiesdonotinterferewithyoursleep./hilecuttingsleepshort maybetempting,itdoesnotpayo:inthelongrun,assleepisessentialfor performingatyourbest,bothmentallyandphysically.

Bettingmoresleepisakeypartoftheequation,butrememberthatitis not just about sleep quantity. Huality sleep matters too! It is possible to getthehoursyouneedbutnotfeelrefreshedifyoursleepisfragmentedor non-restorative.Improvingyourbedroomsettingandsleep-relatedhabits isane:ectivewaytoachievebetterrest.

)HavingEmpathy

“Empathyisseeingwiththeeyesofanother,listeningwiththeearsofanother, andfeelingwiththeheartofanother.”–GlfredGdler

Empathyistheabilitytoemotionallyunderstandwhatotherpeoplefeel, see things from their point of view, and imagine yourself in their place. Essentially, it is putting yourself in someone elseAs position and feeling whattheyarefeeling.

Gpatientwithdementiawasatamedicalappointmentwithherdaughter. Thedoctorgavethedaughteralotofmedicalinformationandadvice,but the mother with dementia waited patiently for him to Nnish. /hen the doctoraskedthedaughterifshehadanyquestions,themothersaid,“I—m still in here. So now that youAve told my daughter all that stu:, can you pleasetellmeK”

ThebeneNtsofbeingempatheticare’

ImprovedRelationships.Empathycanhelpyouformstronger relationshipsbyenablingyoutounderstandandassistothers.?or example,inacouple,onepartnercanpracticeempathybyactively listeningtotheother—sconcernswithoutjudgment.

xetter :ommunication. Empathy can help you communicate moree:ectivelybyconsideringanotherperson—sdailyreality.

Increased Productivity. Employees perform better when they

canempathizewiththeirco-workers.

Improved Mental Health.Weingclosertopeopleandbonding withthemcanboostyourmentalhealthbyimprovingself-esteem andreducingangerandstress.

Emotional Regulation. Empathy can help you regulate your emotionalresponses,maintainingyourpsychologicalwell-being.

:ompassion. Empathy allows you to understand and assess a person—s feelings and circumstances, while compassion involves doingsomethingtoalleviatethosecircumstances.

Emotional Intelligence. Emotional intelligence enables you to practice empathy without being overwhelmed by emotion or havingyourjudgmentcloudedbyyourownbeliefs.

Thepowerofempathyistheabilitytounderstandandsharethefeelings of others, which can help people build stronger relationships, resolve con9icts,andcreatesocialchange.

Practicing empathy allows you to inspire, in9uence, and connect with others.

Lesson

Qnce we have acquired and internalised these eight skills, our lives will improve exponentially. Personally, my life has become more fulNlled, energised, and complete. I feel more conNdent, insightful, adaptable, proNcient,ande cient.

Action

Learning hard-to-acquire skills will deNnitely pay o: because they are valuable,priceless,andrare.Weopenandwillingtolearn.Investthetime inacquiringthem.Wepatient RomewasnAtbuiltinaday.Theseskillsare importantforyour resumetoo.

Lesson 19: You Have a Choice Each and Every Single Day

“I choose to feel blessed. I choose to feel grateful. I choose to feel excited.Ichoosetofeelthankful.Ichoosetofeelhappy.”–Amber Housley

Story

I feel blessed! I feel grateful to have good health, unconditional love, su.cientfame,goodfortune,andrecognisedtalentsp

I:racticethesedailyk

1pMakegratitudeadailyhabitpIthan3mycreatorforgivingme life,love,health,family,andcareerp

2pThinkbiggerthanmyself.Iwndand:ursueasenseofmeaning and :ur:ose outside of myself in the form of my community, faith,career,interestgrou:s,andorganisationsp

4pSharemylovewithfamilyandfriendspIconstantlyremindmy lovedonesthatIlovethemandshoPmyfriendsgratitudep

xpReplacecomplaintswithgratitude.Iconstantlyremindmyself nottocom:lainbuttogivethan3sandshoPa::reciationinsteadp

Iamgrateful! Ihaveadee:a::reciationforthegoodthingsinmylifep Iamthan3fulforcleanPatertodrin3,deliciousfoodonthetable,anda comfortableand:leasanthometoliveinpIremindmyselfnottota3ethese forgrantedp

Gracticing gratefulness can hel: Pith de:ression, anYiety, and im:rove slee: and heart healthp It can also create a :ositive social environment byencouragingotherstoeY:ressthan3fulnesspTratefulnessreducesyour

stressandbringsyouclosertolovedonesp-oumayseeadecreaseinyour blood:ressureandlevelsofinSammationpjhiscanleadtobetteroverall cardiovascularhealthp

Gracticing gratefulness leads to im:roved relationshi:s, increased :roductivity, enhanced resilience, im:roved decisionFma3ing, reduced materialism,andreducedtoYicemotionsp

!hoPing gratefulness :romotes 'oyp !hoPing gratefulness im:roves life satisfactionp!hoPinggratefulnesshel:sustostayfocusedp

Ichoosetofeelexcited!’eelingeYcitedma3esmefeel:ositive,energetic,and boostsmymoodpItdisru:tsmynormalroutines,brea3su:theboredom, andma3esmea::reciatemylifeEAndthat5sthemosteYcitingthingabout itE

IfeeleYcitedmeetingmyfamilymembersformealsp

IfeeleYcitedPhenmeetingsomeoneforthewrsttimep

IfeeleYcitedPhenmeetingafriendPhomIhavenJtmetforalong timep

IfeeleYcitedmeetingafriendformealsp

IfeeleYcitedPhenattendinganymeetingp

IfeeleYcitedconductingatal3,course,orseminarp 10x

IfeeleYcitedattendingatal3,course,orseminarp

IfeeleYcited'oiningmyhi3inggrou:todiscoveranePtrailp

IfeeleYcitedgoingformyeYercisep

IfeeleYcited'oininganeYerciseclassp

BYcitement is an emotion characterised by feelings of enthusiasm and energypItisoftenaccom:aniedbyadesiretoengageinnePorstimulating activitiesp

Excitementcanalsocausephysiologicale,ects:suchas’

Increasedheartbeatp

Increased:ers:irationp

Increasedadrenalinelevelsp

AnYietyp

ExcitementiscausedbyanticipatingsomethingweFre lookingforwardto’

!coringtic3etstoseeourfavouritebandp

GlanningaPee3endgetaPayPithfriendsp 10?

Attending a huge event or milestone, li3e an aPard ceremony, graduation,orPeddingp

Ieelingexcitedisgoodforusinmanyways’

Hmproving memory and attentionkBYcitementhel:suslearn moree6ectivelyp

Motivating us to actk BYcitement ma3es us feel more enthusiasticaboutta3ingactioninsomethingPePantp

5elpingusfocusonthepositivekBYcitementhel:susfocuson thegoodthingsthatarecomingp

HtFs important for relationshipsk BYcitement is im:ortant for 3ee:ingthesenseofenthusiasmgoing,inourrelationshi:sp

HtFsgreatforourmentalwellbeingkBYcitementisgoodforour mentalPellbeingp

’eelingonto:ofthePorldp’eelingoverthemoonp’eelingoncloudninep

’eeling:um:edFu:pMum:ingfor'oyp7eingthrilledto:ieces–isagreat feeling,isnJtitN

Ichoosetofeelthankful.Iamthan3fulforthesekTod,myreligion,laughter, a good nightJs slee:, holidays Pith family, good neighbours, wnancial savings, insurance :olicies, teachers, music, giving and receiving gifts, receivingthan3Fyoucardsandnotes,andold:hotogra:hsp

joday, I am than3ful and thin3 of hoP rich I really amp Ly family and friends are :ricelessp Ly ha::iness is :reciousp Ly time is goldp And my healthisPealthp

“Thankfulnessisthebeginningofgratitude.Gratitudeisthecompletionof thankfulness.Thankfulnessmayconsistmerelyofwords.Gratitudeisshown inacts.”–HenriFredericAmiel

7eing than3ful is the act of eY:ressing a::reciation for the :eo:le and thingsinourlivespIt5salso3noPnasgratitude,a:ositiveemotionthatcan havemanymentaland:hysicalhealthbenewtsp

Ichoosetofeelhappy.Iamha::ybecauseIamlivingthelifeIPantedpIfeel satiswedPithlifepIamaccom:lishingPhatIPantinlifepIamlivinglife Pithasenseofmeaningand:ur:osepIfeelthattheconditionsofmylife aregoodpIamgoingPiththeSoPandamPillingtota3elifeasitcomespI amha::ybecauseIamo:entonePideasandeY:eriencespIen'oy:ositive andhealthyrelationshi:spIfeel:ositivemorethannegativepIPanttoshare myha::inessand'oyPithotherspIamha::ybecauseIameY:eriencing gratitudepIam:racticingselfFcareandtreatingmyselfPith3indnessand com:assionp

I constantly remind myself that ha::iness is not a state of constant eu:horiap Ha::iness is a sense of eY:eriencing more :ositive emotions thannegativeonesp

Ha::y :eo:le still feel the Phole range of human emotions li3e anger, frustration, boredom, loneliness, and even sadness from time to timep

7ut even Phen faced Pith discomfort, they have an underlying sense of o:timism that things Pill get better, that they can deal Pith Phat is ha::ening,andthattheyPillbeabletofeelha::yagainp

“Ha::iness is a choice, not a resultp Kothing Pill ma3e you ha::y until youchoosetobeha::yp”–Cal:hLarston

Theseare-ScienceBCackedSecretsto5appiness’

Kurtureyourrelationshi:sp

Gerformrandomactsof3indnessp

!urroundyourselfPithha::y:eo:lep

!milemorep

Doo3fordailyeY:eriencesofaPep

Phoosingtofeelhappymeans’

La3ing decisions that encourage ha::y moments, even though it5s not :ossibletofeelha::yallthetimep

HerearemorePaystochoosetobeha::yk

Uracticegratitudek7egratefulforPhatPehaveandloo3forthe goodinlifep

Ce kindk"indnesscanleadtoha::ierrelationshi:sandabetter overalllifep

Iocus on the positivek zounteract negative thoughts and feelingsp

Wse our strengthsk Wo Phat Pe do Pell to benewt ourselves as Pellasothersp

SetgoalskActively:ursuegoalsandta3econtrolofourlivesp

Makefriendsk7uildgoodfriendshi:sp

Treatotherswellk7e3indandres:ectfultoothersp

EatwellkLaintainahealthydietp

Meditatek’indtimealonetomeditatep

Uractice aLrmationsk jhin3 :ositive thoughts and :ractice :ositiveselfFtal3p

Aake up on your termskWonJtletothersJeY:ectationsdictate yourschedulep

esson

Watch your thoughts; they become your words. Watch your words; they become your actions. Watch your actions; they become your habits. Watch your habits; they become your character. Watch your character; it becomes yourdestinyp –Daoj e

ction

Gracticingmindfulnessormeditationcanhel:usbecomeaPareofPhat Pe feel in the momentp Lindfulness involves noticing our thoughts, emotions,andbodyatanygiventimePithout'udgingortryingtoma3e senseofthempInstead,Peac3noPledgesensations,feelings,andideasas theyha::enp

IlovethisreminderfromAmberHousleyp hilePecannotchoosehoP Pe feel, Pe can choose hoP Pe Pant to res:ond to our feelingsp e can choosetobeblessed,grateful,eYcited,than3ful,andha::yE

Lesson 20: What You Should Never Do

"Intheend,wewillremembernotthewordsofourenemies,but thesilenceofourfriends."–MartinLutherKingJr.

1.Neverallowpeopletodisrespectyou,oritwillhappenagain.

2.Neverallowanyonetotellyouyourgoalsaretoobigorimpossible.

3.Never date an unavailable person. This includes people who are married, in a committed relationship, or addicted to drugs, alcohol,orsomethingelse.

4.Neverletanyonede5neyouinanegativeway.

f.NeversettleIoraliIepartner.6tisbettertowaitlongthantomarry wrong.

x.Neverallowto7icpeopletoremaininyourliIe.

k.Neverallowanyonetota8eyouIorgranted.

9.Neverallowanyonetodetermineyourwor8orcareerpath.

F.NevergiveuponthethingsthataremeaningIulormeanthemost toyou.Dailureisnotanoption.

Story

1)Neverallowpeopletodisrespectyou,oritwillhappen again.

Respectisearned,honestyisappreciated,trustisgained,andloyalty is returned. -isrespect erodes selIjesteem. 6t damages mental health. 6t ma8es you believe that disrespect is normal. 6t can lead to constant and unavoidabledisrespect,lostIriends,’obs,oropportunities,anddamageto trust.

-onRt let people waste your time repeatedly. -onRt let them tal8 down to you in a conversation. Loo8 Ior behavioural change and not ’ust an apology.—espectisnRtdemandedOitRsearned.

2)Neverallowanyonetotellyouyourgoalsaretoobigor impossible. qutrageous.6mpractical.qutoIthe'uestion.qurhopesanddreamscan sometimesIeelwayoutoIarmWsreach,andsadly,societyhastaughtusthat somethingsare’ustunattainable.?hydowechoosetobelievethisz?hy donWtwetrustinourselvesandourama:ingabilitiesz

“Don’tletsmallmindsconvinceyouthatyourdreamsaretoobig.”

?hyitisadvisableto8eepourgoalssecretS

AvoidingNegativeFeedbackSCharingourgoalscansometimes lead to s8epticism or criticism Irom others, which might discourageusorcreateselIjdoubt.

Focus and ClarityS Keeping our goals private allows us to concentrate on our vision and re5ne our plans without e7ternal distractionsorinYuences.

“So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable, and then when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”—Ahristopher—eeve

3)Neverdateanunavailableperson.Thisincludespeople whoaremarried,inacommittedrelationship,oraddicted todrugs,alcohol,orsomethingelse.Never!Becauseitwill neverendwell!

4)Neverletanyonede5neyouinanegativeway.

-onRt let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do based on their preconceivednotions.?henyoustoplettingothersde5neyou,youopen thedoortodiscoveringyourtruepassionsandpurposeinliIe.6nsteadoI IollowingsomeoneelseRspath,youcanIorgeyourown.

-onRtallowotherstoma8edecisionsIoryouortode5neyouinawaythat isnottruetoyourselI.LiveyourliIeasyouwant,nothowotherse7pectyou to.BoushouldbetruetoyourselIandma8edecisionsthatareconsistent withyourvaluesandaspirations.

f)NeversettleIoraliIepartner.Htisbettertowaitlongthan tomarrywrong.

!void choosing a partner who doesnWt meet your needs, e7pectations, or desires. Cettling can be dangerous and lead to Iuture problems, such as missingoutontheopportunitytobewithsomeonewhoisabettermatch.

Gene5tsoIwaitingS

Fewer chances oI separationS ?aiting to meet the right person can reduce the chances oI marrying someone youWre not compatiblewith.

6appier marriageS ?aiting to marry can lead to a happier marriage.

BettercommunicationSAoupleswhowaituntilmarriagereport bettercommunication.

6igher relationship satisIactionS Aouples who wait until marriagereporthighersatisIaction.

6igherrelationshipstabilitySAoupleswhowaituntilmarriage

reporthigherstability.

x)NeverallowtojicpeopletoremaininyourliIe.

They drain your mental and emotional resources, hi’ac8 your sense oI selI,inIectyourmoodandoutloo8onliIe,createstressandunhappiness, ma8e you doubt your Ieelings and e7periences, slow down or sabotage yourprogress,andpullyouawayIromhealthy,empowering,andupliIting relationships.

CignsoIto7icpeopleS

TheymakeyouIeeldrainedSTo7icpeoplecanleaveyouIeeling unappreciated,demorali:ed,andlowonenergy.

TheymanipulateyouSTo7icpeoplemaygaslightyou,whichcan ma8eyou'uestionyoursanityanddecreaseyourselIjesteem.

They make you Ieel 7udgedS To7ic people may constantly 'uestionyourchoicesandcommentonyourliIe.

!ctionS?al8away“

8)NeverallowanyonetotakeyouIorgranted.

“Don’t allow yourself to be taken for granted. It’s better to remove yourself fromthesituationthantobetreatedlessthanyoudeserve.”OTony”as8ins

CignsoIbeingta8enIorgrantedS

Aontactingyouonlywhentheyneedsomething.

Notreturningyourcallsorte7tsIorseveraldays.

Notshowingappreciationorsaying,PThan8you“H

Eromisingtheworldbutdeliveringnothing.

Ma8ingyouIeele7cluded.

Ma8ingyoudoubtyourselI.

Notma8ingane0orttomeetyouhalIway.

Notcaringaboutyourneedsorhappiness.

”uiltjtrippingyou.

owtostopbeingta8enIorgrantedS

CtopdoingeverythingIoreveryone.

-onRtbeaIraidtosayPNo.H

-onRtovercommityourselI.

CtandupIoryourselI.

Cetcleare7pectations.

Gecon5dentinyourselI.

')Neverallowanyonetodetermineyourworkorcareer path.

PTheonlywaytodogoodworkistolovewhatyoudo.Ifyouhaven’tfoundit yet,keeplooking.Don’tsettle.HOCteveJobs

?hyyoushouldchooseyourowncareerpathS

HtDs your liIeSBoushouldlistentoyourselIanddecidewhatyou wanttodo.

9o what you love to succeedSBouWremoreli8elytosucceedat somethingyouloveandwanttodo.

HtDsyourpowerSBougiveuppowerwhenothersdecidewhoyou

are.

HtDs your happinessS Celecting the right position Ior yourselI is criticaltohappiness.

!ctionstota8econtroloIyourcareerpathS

Ta8einitiative.

Tal8 with your boss about your perIormance, growth, and ambitions.

7ploreyourinterests.

W)NevergiveuponthethingsthataremeaningIulormean themosttoyou.
Failureisnotanoption.

“Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”—Cir?instonAhurchill

:hattodowhenyouIeellikegivingupP

Focus on your whyS —emind yourselI oI your reasons Ior pursuingyourgoalandbelieveinyourabilitytoachieveit.

GrepareandplanS—ealisethatthingswonWtalwaysgoasplanned,

butyoucanprepareandplanIorthat.

TakeabreakSCtepbac8andgainsomeperspective.

FindthegoodSLoo8Iorthepositiveinyoure7periences.

LethelpwhenyouneeditS6IyouWrestruggling,donWtbeaIraid toreachoutIorsupport.

AcknowledgethetruthSAonsiderthepresentrealityinsteadoI whatyouimaginetheIuturewillbeli8e.

FindpurposeinyourpainSBoucanascribemeaningtonegative e7periencesandgiveyourliIepurpose.

!pproach your goals with unwavering determination and perseverance, viewingobstaclesaschallengestoovercomeratherthanasreasonstoaccept deIeat,toensuresuccess.

“Ourgreatestweaknessliesingivingup.Themostcertainwaytosucceedis alwaystotryjustonemoretime.”–Thomas dison

esson

Thebestreasonwhythesearethingsweshouldneverdoisbecausethey willneverendtoouradvantage.

Action

Thebestthingtodoistoavoiddoingthem.

Lesson 21: Have Faith

“Believe in yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannotbesuccessfulorhappy.”-

Peale

Faithisthebeliefinsomethingorsomeone,evenwhenthereisnoabsolute prooforevidence.Itcanalsomeantrustinaperson,thingorconcept.

In a religious context, faith can mean belief in God, the teachings of a religionorthetraditionaldoctrinesofareligion.Itcanalsomeanputting yourtrustinGodandhavingcon:dencethathewillful:lhispromises.

FaithcanalsomeanL'oyaltytoapersonorduty,FidelitytooneSspromises andkincerityofintentions.

Faith and hope are complementary. Faith is grounded in the past, while hopelooWstothefuture.

Without faith, there is no hope and without hope there is no true faith.

Story

Bhen I bought the rights toPsycho - GeometricsTM, it was a huge :nancial investment. jut deep inside, I Wnew that it was a worthwhile investment,becausewithinayearafterobtainingtherights,IearnedbacW theinvestment,byconductingtalWs,seminarsandcoursesonthesubMect.

!yfaithinPsycho-GeometricsTM,asanexcellentcommunicationtool andthefaithIhadinmyselfinimpartingit,wasapotentcombination.

IhavetoconfessthatitwasallbecauseofmyfaithinGodAIprayedvery hardforhisguidanceandIasWedhimforsigns. He gave me condwence anwheshobewmesignsanwheluessewmebiths!ccessL3ndbecause

ofthesuccessesthroughouttheseyears,Iamevenmorehopefulthatthings willonlygetbetterA

YhanW-’ou,GodA

Aesson

Yo act on our faith means to pray, believing that we have received our answer,themomentthatweprayedandtobegintotaWeaction,Wnowing thatwehavereceivedwhatweSveasWedfor.

FaithdoesnKtalwaystaWeyououtoftheproblem.FaithtaWesyouthrough theproblem.FaithdoesnKtalwaystaWeawaythepain.Faithgivesyouthe abilitytohandlethepain.FaithdoesnKtalwaystaWeyououtofthestorm.

Faithcalmsyouinthemidstofthestorm.

:ction

YhewayIliveoutmyfaithisinservingpeople.kervingmycommunity. kervingmyfellowhumanbeings.kervingmybrothersandsisters.

Havingfaithishavingthemotivationto.

SeeitkThinDitkPrayforitk,oitk:nwdnauuy GetitL

“Faithistakingthefirststepevenwhenyoudon’tseethewholestaircase.”!artin'utherJing,4r

Lesson 22: Find Your Purpose

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, butinfindingsomethingtolivefor.”–FyodorDostoyevsky

A sense of purpose in life is a driving force that guides your actions and decisions and gives meaning to your life. It's a long-term goal that's personallymeaningfulandcanmakeapositiveimpactontheworld.

It is the extent to which a person experiences his or her life as having meaning,signiMcance,andcoherence.

Story

!ycareerallowsmetoachievemypurposeinlife.Itgivesmeaningtomy existencejIderivetremendous’oyindoingwhatIbmdoingj

IstronglybelievethatIwasborntobeaneducator,aspeaker,anda trainingconsultant.Ialsostronglybelievethatmytalents,passion, andmissioninlifeareGod-given!Godisalsomydirectorinlife.

!ypurposeinlifeistoearntherightto7erespected,trusted,and loved7ymyfamily,especiallymydaughters.

!ypurposeinlifeistohelppeoplefeelgooda7outthemselves7y impartingconMdenceandskillsthatwouldtransformtheirlives.

!y purpose in life is to impart to my trainees the science of understandingthemselvesandtheartofcommunicatingwin-win withanyone.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartofselling.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartoflistening.

!y purpose in life is to impart to my trainees the art of pu7lic speaking.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartofdelivering aperfectpitch.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartofacTuiring andexudingtheircharisma.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartofaskingthe rightTuestionstogettherightanswers.

!ypurposeinlifeistoimparttomytraineestheartofacTuiring truesuccess.

Ifeeladeepsenseofsatisfaction,achievement,andexhilarationto7ea7le tomakeapositiveimpactonthelivesofmytrainees,clients,andstudents. …hisisthetruemeaningofmylifeBNecausetheirsuccessismysuccessj

Lesson

Eo7odywantsa7oringlife.Lveryonewantsto7ehappyandalive.…his canonlyhappenifyouhaveapurposeinlife.–ivingameaningfullifeis more fun compared to a life where you donbt en’oy what you are doing. Forlifeto7eworthliving,ithasto7efun8onpurposej

Ynowing your purpose in life can improve your self-worth, your well-7eing, give more meaning to your life experiences, and help you overcomeo7stacles.

Lxplore your passion. Hour passions and interests can lead you to discoveringyourpurposeinlife.Nuttheycan7ehardtoidentify.…heycan 7esoingrainedinyourwayofthinkingthatyou7ecome7lindtothem.If you'reunsurewhatyourpassionsare,askthepeoplewhoknowyou7est.

Action

:erearesomewaystotakeactionindeterminingyourlifepurposeC

ReCect on what matters to youC —onsider your core values, 7eliefs,andprinciples,andwhatmakesyouhappy.

Identify your strengthsC Assess your talents and what you're good at, such as leadership, pro7lem-solving, communication, sports,music,orart.

reate a vision boardC Hou can use a vision 7oard to map out yourdreamsandaspirations.

SeekprofessionalhelpCAcoachcanprovidesupport,guidance, andaccounta7ility.

Finding your purpose in life starts with self-re9ectionzasking yourself hardTuestionsa7outwhatyoulove,whatyouarepassionatea7out,and

what 7rings you fulMllment. It involves exploring di0erent paths, trying newthings,andsteppingoutofyourcomfort onetoMndhonestanswers fromwithin.

Lesson 23: Read Voraciously

Bookscanbedangerous.Thebestonesshouldbelabeled,“This couldchangeyourlife.” -HelenExley

One right book at the right time can change your life forever. Books are oneofthebestsourcesofeducatingyourself.

Story

There are many books that I consider my favourites! I do not like borrowing books; I prefer to buy them. I believe that when I own these books,Iownthecontents—theyaremoreprecious,morevaluable,andI -nditeasiertointernalisethecontent!

One of the earliest books I read to kickjstart my Dourney to discover my passion and life mission isHow to Win Friends and Influence People by CaleWarnegie.

:hatIlearntN

qever criticise, never argue, show appreciation, be genuinely interested in people, smile, express my opinions, ask ’uestions, understand othersA perspectives, use a personAs name, be a good listener,andmakepeoplefeelimportant.

VnotherbookthatIloveisThePowerofPositiveThinkingbyCrqorman PincentKeale

:hatIlearntN

Leep my heart free from hate and my mind from worry. Sive simply,expectlittle,andgivemuch.2cattersunshine,forgetself,

thinkofothers.

Believe in myself and in everything I do. Cevelop the power to reachmygoals,breaktheworryhabit,andachievearelaxedlife. Improve my personal and professional relationships. Be kind to myself.

HowtoMakePeopleLikeYouin90SecondsorLessbyqicholasBoothman

:hatIlearntN

qicholas Boothman teaches facejtojface communication skills to ’uickly bond with people. He explains how to make a good -rst impression, start a conversation with almost anyone, establishinstantrapport,andbuildbetterbusinessandpersonal connections.

BeaPeoplePersonbyMohnW.“axwell

:hatIlearntN

Ciscoveranddevelopthe’ualitiesofane”ectiveUpeopleperson.'

Improvemyrelationshipsineveryareaoflife.

"nderstandandhelpdi4cultpeople.

Overcome di”erences and personality traits that can cause friction.

Inspireotherstoexcellenceandsuccess.

Being a leader means working with people, and thatzs not always easy! :hether in the o4ce, church, neighbourhood, or elsewhere, our interpersonalrelationshipscanmakeorbreakusasleaders.Thatzswhyitzs soimportanttobea5peopleperson5anddevelopourskillsintappingthat mostpreciousofallresourcesNpeople.

Soadedwithlifejenriching,lifejchangingprinciplesforrelatingpositively and powerfully with our families, friends, colleagues, and clients, Be a KeopleKersoniscertaintohelpusbringoutthebestinothers—andthatzs whattrueleadershipis.

HowtoMastertheArtofSellingbyTomHopkins

:hatIlearntN

Tomismyguruinselling!

Tom provides guidance on building relationships, closing sales, andmaintainingapositivemindsetthroughoutthesalesprocess.

Inthesalesprofession,thereisnoincomeceiling.

2ellingistheartofpersuasion.

2ellingistheartofaskingtheright’uestionstogetminoryeses.

Thesaleisthesumofalltheminoryesesleadingtothebigyes!

2alesprofessionalsneedtohavegoals,productknowledge,andthe abilitytobuildcommongroundwiththeprospect.

SpeakandGrowRichbyCottieandSillet:alters

:hatIlearntN

Thisbookhelpedmekickjstartmyspeakingprofession.

TheIntelligentCurriculumbyCavidSa/ear

:hatIlearntN

Cavid helped me unlock the code in reaching out, connecting with,andenlighteningmytrainees.

"sing“ultipleIntelligencetodevelopmystudentsAfullpotential.

Thisbookisagem!

LifeWithoutLimitsbyqickPuDicic

:hatIlearntN

This is a truly inspiring book by an extraordinary man. Born withoutarmsorlegs,qickPuDicicovercamehisdisabilitytolive notDustindependentlybutarich,ful-llinglife,becomingarole model for anyone seeking true happiness. qick is my greatest inspiration!

ThePurposeDrivenLifebyFick:arren

:hatIlearntN

Ficktellsusthatweshouldthinkaboutothersandrealisethatour presentlifeisnotanaccident.Weareallhereforapurpose!

10HabitsofHighlySuccessfulPeoplebyFobertFinger

:hatIlearntN

V sevenjstep formula for turning obstacles and adversity into triumph.

Howtospotpeoplewhodrainyouoftime,energy,peaceofmind, relationships,comfort,and(ormoney,andhowtokeepthemout ofyourlife.

Thenumberoneruleyoumustadheretowhensomeonecheats you—not only to avoid it happening again, but to pave the way forfuturewins.

:hy the traditional view of positive mental attitude doesnzt work—and how to develop a true positive mental attitude that wonztdesertyouwhendisasterstrikes.

The six maDor obstacles to taking action and how to overcome them.

7our speci-c steps to e”ective delegation that will allow you to worklessandexponentiallymultiplybothyourincomeandyour ’ualityoflife.

TheDefinitiveBookofBodyLanguagebyVllanandBarbaraKease

:hatIlearntN

Thisbookpi’uedmyinterestinandtaughtmethefundamentals of body language. I used to enDoy watching VllanAs TP programmeonBodySanguageaswell!

UnlimitedPowerbyVnthonyFobbins?Vnotherofmybelovedbooks8

:hatIlearntN

"nlimited power is the ability to produce the results you desire mostandcreatevalueforothersintheprocess.

Vctioniswhatuniteseverygreatsuccess.

qothinghasanymeaningexceptthemeaningwegiveit.

Howyoufeelisnottheresultofwhatishappeninginyourlife—it isyourinterpretationofwhatishappening.

The way we communicate with others and the way we communicatewithourselvesultimatelydeterminethe’ualityof ourlives.

In order to achieve an extraordinary ’uality of life, you need to consistently put yourself in a state that supports you and your achievements.

:henhandlede”ectively,beliefscanbethemostpowerfulforces forcreatinggoodinyourlife.

Vskyourself,U:hatwouldIattempttodoifIknewIcouldnot fail9'

The2evenBeliefsof2uccessN

1.Everythinghappensforareasonandapurpose,anditservesus.

J.Thereisnosuchthingasfailure.Thereareonlyresults.

3.:hateverhappens,takeresponsibility.

R.ItAs not necessary to understand everything to be able to use everything.

6.Keopleareyourgreatestresource.

).:orkisplay.

Q.ThereAsnoabidingsuccesswithoutcommitment.

AwakentheGiantWithinbyVnthonyFobbins?Ilovethisbookaswell!8

:hatIlearntN

YuotationsN

UWontrolled focus is like a laser beam that can cut through anythingthatseemstobestoppingyou.'

ULnow that itAs your decisions and not your conditions that determineyourdestiny.'

U:eArenotdrivenbyrealitybutbyourperceptionofreality.'

UExpand your references and youAll immediately expand your life.'

Uqothinginlifehasanymeaningexceptthemeaningyougiveit.'

UThe’uestionisnotwhetheryouAregoingtohaveproblemsbut howyouAregoingtodealwiththemwhentheycomeup.'

UItAsnotonlythe’uestionsyouaskbutthe’uestionsyoufailto askthatshapeyourdestiny.'

LiveYourDreams

SesBrownismyfavouritemotivationalspeaker!

:hatIlearntN

Our parents bring us into the world, but in the end, we are responsibleforwhatwebecome.?Lahlil ibran8

Ourchildrencomethroughusbutnotfromus.?Lahlil ibran8

It is the person you become, not the things you achieve, that is mostimportant.

oumustwalkbyfaithandnotbysight.

If you summon the courage to go after your dream, life will providetheanswers.

I believe that you can do things you never imagined if you challengeyourself.

ToughtimesdonAtlast,buttoughpeopledo.

Kress on. qothing can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; the world is full of unsuccessful people with talent. enius willnot;unrewardedgeniusisalmostaproverb.Educationalone will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Kersistence and determinationaloneareomnipotent.?WalvinWoolidge8

:antingsomethingisnotenough. oumusthungerforit. our motivationmustbeabsolutelycompelling.

Woincidencesare odAswayofstayinganonymous.

:hen people have that kind of motivation, when obstacles are notafactor,andwhenonlythedreammatters,theymakethings happen. The universe has no choice but to yield to that sort of energy.

KeyLessons:

oumust-ndapowerfulmotivationtodriveyou.

“any of us go through life with brakes on—the brakes of fear,procrastination,unworthiness,andnegativethinking.These preventusfromgivingallthatwehavetogiveandsharingallthat wehavetoshare.

Cevelopasenseofurgencyinyourlife.Takeactionsnowthatwill moveyoutowardyourgoals.

Cevelopcourage.Setyourselffeelthefearsthatareholdingyou backandmentallypushthemaside.

Cevote yourself to operating on a massive, relentless scale to accomplishyourgoals.

Ceveloptheconvictionthatyoucanaccomplishyourgoal. our

levelofbeliefinyourselfwillinevitablymanifestitselfinwhatyou do.

InspirationalPractices:

Feadinspirationalmaterial,suchasthebiographiesofpeoplewho overcamegreatoddstosucceed.Iftheycandoit,youcandoit.

et ac’uainted with successful people. Vsk them what drives themandhowtheyachievetheirgoals.

Cevelopyourcommunicationskills.Takepublicspeakingcourses orcoursesonleadershipandcommunication.

2mile!KroDectapositiveimage.2ayU E2!'toyourlife.VpersonAs smilere ectshowtheyfeelinside.

Themostdependablehandyoucanrelyonistheoneattheend ofyourwrist.

MotivationalInsights:

Tobuildhunger,developaUdojorjdie'attitude.

Conotgowherethepathmaylead;instead,gowherethereisno path,andleaveatrail.

I believe the name of the game is TTKN Talk to Keople. If that doesnAtwork,Itryanothergame—TT“KNTalkto“oreKeople.

ou have to get your material out there on a massive scale. Wonsiderityourpersonalcrusade—yourlifeAsmission.

MemorableQuotes:

UItisbettertobepreparedforanopportunityandnothaveone, than to have an opportunity and not be prepared.' ?:hitney oung,Mr.8

U2omeoneAs opinion of you does qOT have to become O"F reality.'?SesBrown8

USifeisanongoingwarwithinsecuritiesandfears.'

U:hat lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.' ?Mustice Oliver :endell Holmes8

The greatest boost I ever had in life, and in giving me hope, is the one I receivedfrom“rHanLokLwang,whowrotethebookNSoWhatIfYou Don’tHaveADegree?

ThisbooktransformedmybelieftoNIcanstillmakeitwithoutadegree. qoteveryoneisanintellectual.

I am good at learning a skill, internalising it, and teaching it. I am good at reading people. I am good at communicating with people. I am good at building rapport with people. I am a good listener. I have learnt and masteredtheartofreadingandexudingbodylanguage.Ihavelearntand masteredtheartofpublicspeaking.Ihavelearntandmasteredtheartof selling.Vndnow,Iamteachingtheseskills.

IearnedmyPhDstandinginfrontoftheaudience!

7inally,thebookthatchangedmylife!

CommunicatingBeyondOurDifferencesbyCr.2usanCellinger

:hatIlearntN

Ksychoj eometricsNThescienceofunderstandingpeopleandthe artofcommunicatingwiththem.

The62hapesofKsychoj eometricsandtheartofxeVing.

Ksychoj eometricsismysignaturecourse,andithasbene-ttedthousands ofpeoplewhomIhavetrainedandcoached.

Lesson

Therearemanybene-tstoreadingN

Mental eVerciseN Feading is a mental exercise that can improve brainfunctionandconnectivity.Itcanalsohelpkeepyourbrain operatingmoree”ectivelyasyouage.

Stress reductionN Feading can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Improved memoryN Feading can help improve your concentrationandmemory.

Eocabulary eVpansionN Feading can help expand your vocabularyandstrengthenyourwritingabilities.

Anhanced knowledgeN Feading can help enhance your knowledgeandunderstandingoftheworldaroundyou.

Increased imagination and creativityN Feading can help increaseyourimaginationandcreativity.

nalytical thinking skillsN Feading can help strengthen your analyticalthinkingskills.

AntertainmentNFeadingcanbeafunandenDoyablewaytospend leisuretime.Bookscantakeyoutonewworlds,introduceyouto

newcharacters,andprovideawaytoescapefromeverydaylife.

ction

Feading is a habit that can improve your lifespan by reducing stress, enhancing mental health, developing new neural pathways, helping you learnempathy,improvingyourabilitytocommunicate,andprovidingyou withhealthyentertainment.

2etasidetimetoreadeveryday.Musthalfanhouradaywillchangeyour life!

Lesson 24: Life Is Not Fair

“Lifeisnotfair.Itneverwas.Itisn’t.Anditwon’teverbe.Do not fall into the trap—the entitlement trap of feeling like you areavictim.Youarenot.”—MatthewMcConaughey

Manypeopleworkhardbutnevergetwhattheyfeeltheydeserve.Many people are incredibly decent but always seem to get the short end of the stick. Many people are smart but never seem to apply their academic excellencetoprofessionalorentrepreneurialachievement.

Manypeoplefallinloveonlytoseetheirlovesquanderedonsomeonewho doesn’treciprocate.

Story

Myparentsweremygreatestrolemodels.Theywereexemplaryparentsand alovingcouple!Sure,theyhadtheirdisagreementsandoccasionalIghts, buttheyalwaysputourfamilyIrst.Uhadahappychildhoodandreceived lotsoflove!

U grew up dreaming of having a beautiful and happy family of my own. Bnfortunately, U had to go through a painful divorce after the birth of my second daughter. Those were the darkest moments of my life! jutI recovered.Isurvived.Ithrived!

Uhavealwaysbeenagoodstudent.Ustudiedhard.Udidmyhomework.U wasconscientious.jutU“ustcouldn’tgetgoodresults!Udidnotgobeyond O”LWevels.Still,Ihavemadeitinlife!

RhenU“oinedtheAepublicofSingaporeFir(orce)ASF(9,Uwasnever promoted because U failed my qualifying exams. U remained a private throughout my military career. jecause of that, U worked harder than

anyone else. U was determined to succeed. U have learnt to succeed. I am successful!

ThesefailurestoriesthatUshareinclass,arenowmyfavouritestoriestotell! U’vemadeitmymissiontohelpmytrainees,students,andclientsrecover fromtheirpain,andthriveH“ustlikeUdid.Thisgivesmeasenseofgreat satisfactionandconsiderableelation!

“Laws of nature do not make exceptions for nice people. A bullet has no conscience; neither does a malignant tumour or an automobile gone out of control.Thatiswhygoodpeoplegetsickandgethurtasmuchasanyone.”—

Lesson

“Badthingsdohappen;howIrespondtothemdefinesmycharacterandthe qualityofmylife.”—RalterFnderson

Accept the truth' Wife isnYt always fair, and you canYt always behappyorwinning.Fcceptingthisfactcanmakeyoustronger whenovercomingchallenges.

Be mature' Maturity is the ability to face disappointment and unpleasantnesswithoutbitterness.

Control your reaction' 5ou can control your reaction to unfairness,evenifyoucanYtpreventit.

Bethankful'-ivethanksforthelessonsthatcomewithdi2cult times.

Focusonyourstrengths'(ocusonyourcorestrengthsanduse themtoaccomplishyourgoals.

Makepeacewiththeunpredictable'Bncertaintycanbring“oy intheformofsurprise,coincidence,andserendipity.

Acceptthepain'Sittingwiththepainandacceptingitcanhelp youhealfaster.

Chooseyourpath'5ouchooseyourpath,soyoucanchangeyour mindaboutfairnessandtackleissueshead on.

Giveyourchildrenanearlytasteofreality'Wetyourchildren know that life isnYt fair, and itYs not your “ob to make it fair for them.

Action

Takeaction'Ufyoucandosomethingaboutanunfairsituation, youshould.Trytotransformtheunfairnessintoatask.

Change your perspective'Fskyourselfhowyoucanshiftyour perspectiveonthesituation.

Becompassionate'Showcompassionforyourselfandothers.

Trusttheprocess'Trusttheprocessandfocusonthepositives.

Identify your reaction' Consider how you react to unfair situationsandassesswhetheryouareincontrolofyourreaction.

Find strength in others' The support of others can help you overcome isolation and Ind the strength to address lifeYs challenges.

Accepttherealitiesoflife'Fcceptthehardrealitiesoflifewith courage.

Lesson 25: Know Your Self-Worth

Once you understand the power of words, you won’t say just anything.Onceyouunderstandthepowerofthoughts,youwon’t just think anything. And once you understand the power of presence,youwon’tjustbeanywhere.

Knowyourworth.

Knowing your self-worth is something very personal, and it really has nothingtodowithanyoneelse.It’syourinternalmeasureofhowyouvalue yourself,regardlessofwhatotherpeoplemightthinkaboutyouorsayto you.Apersonalmanifestoisadeclarationofyourbeliefsandapowerful setofstatements.

Story

I could have published this book many years ago. After all, I have been advised many times that if I want to be an authority in training, I need towriteabook.Beinganauthormakesmeanauthorityonmysubject.I feelthatthisistheperfecttimebecauseIhaveearnedenoughknowledge, experience,andauthoritytoEnallypublishthisbook.

—achtimeIspeak,conductatalk,seminar,orcourse,IbelievethatIdeserve to be listened to, learnt from, and emulated. I walk my talk. I speak the truthPopenly, sincerely, and unreservedly. I have put in many years of study and research into designing these courses. And I am still adding valuebyconstantlyrevampingthem.IamneversatisEed.!lus,theyears ofexperienceI’veearnedcanneverbetakenawayfrommeq

I constantly ask myself this :uestion“ W(ill I pay the same amount of money )I charge? to attend my own courses”T Yhe answer is always WS—4qT In fact, I would pay much morePdouble, even triple the amountPbecause of the life-changing experiences I share, as well as the

immeasurablevalueIinjectintoallmycourses.ItisdiUculttoputavalue onmycoursesbecausetheexperienceispricelessq

Iwantmyparticipantstohaveamemorableandlife-changingexperience, creatingsuchanimpactintheirlivesthatit’sdisruptiveqYhisishowIsee myself-worth.

Lesson

Be clear about your self-worth and your value.Rowdoyouwantto impacttheworld”(hatdiLerencedoyouwanttomakeinthelivesofthe peoplearoundyou”Rowwouldyouliketoberemembered”

Practice self-care. Yake care of yourself mentally, emotionally, socially, and physically. 4elf-care activities can include relaxation techni:ues and spendingtimeinnature.

Cultivate self-compassion. Cnderstand your own value and treat yourselfinalovingway.

Believeinyourself.Believeinandlovewhoyouare.'emember“youare specialqSouareuni:ueqYhereisnoduplicateq

Neverundervalueyourself.SouarecreatedtosucceedqSouareworthitq

Action

Soucanrecogniseandboostself-worthinthefollowingways“

Avoidcomparison.

Bekindtoyourself.

Foveyourself.

6onsidertheroleyouplayinothers lives.

—xerciseregularly.

indinspirationinotherslikeyou.

4urroundyourselfwithpositivepeople.

Yakecareofyourself.

!ractisegratitude.

6hallengeyourself.

Acceptcompliments.

orgiveyourself.

Yalktoyourselfpositively.

Lesson 26: 10 Rules of Ikigai

"He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." –
FriedrichNietzsche

IkigaiisaJapaneseconceptthatmeans“thatwhichgivesyourlifeworth, meaning,orpurpose.”Itsimplytranslatesto“reasontolive.”

10RulesofIkigai:

1.Stayactiveanddon’tretire.

2.Leaveurgencybehindandadoptaslowerpaceinlife.

3.Eatuntilyouareonly80%full.

4.Surroundyourselfwithgoodfriends.

5.Getinshapethroughdaily,gentleexercise.

6.Smilemoreandacknowledgethepeoplearoundyou.

7.Connectwithnature.

8.Givethanksforeverythingthatbrightensyourdayandmakesyou feelalive.

9.Liveinthemoment.

10.Followyourpassion.

Story

1. Stay active and don’t retire. Staying active can help people avoid thenegativee:ectsofretirement,suchasloneliness,cognitivedecline,and poorhealth.Somereasonspeoplemaychoosetostayactiveandnotretire includeP

Continuing to contributeP !eople may want to continue contributingtosocietyintheirownway.Forme,Iendeavourto touchasmanylivesasIcanW

PursuingapassionP!eoplemay-ndthatworkingonsomething they are passionate about aligns with their purpose and keeps themgoing.

AvoidingboredomP!eoplemayfeelboredinretirementandnot -ndtheactivitiestheyindulgeintobechallengingorengaging.

MaintainingasenseofpurposeP!eoplemayfeeltheyhavelost theirsenseofpurposeinretirement.

SomewaystostayactiveinretirementincludeP

Morkingpartqtime.

Startingabusinessandsettingyourownhours.

Learningnewskillsortryingnewactivities.

Eatingahealthy,balanceddiet.

Tanaginganyhealthconditions.

Gettingenough"ualitysleep.

Educatingyourself.

2. Leaveurgencybehindandadoptaslowerpaceinlife.'heJapanese concept of ikigai is a philosophy that emphasizes -nding balance and purpose in your life, which can include adopting a slower pace. Ikigai is a search for your passions, aspirations, and purpose, often achieved by exploring the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what theworldneeds,andwhatyoucanbepaidfor.Itotallyresonatewithand fullyendorsethisphilosophyW

3. Eatuntilyouareonly80%full.'hepracticeofeatinguntilyouare about80%fulliscalledharahachibu,aJapanesetermthatmeansjeatuntil youBre80%full.j'hismindfuleatingpracticecanhelpyoufeelsatis-ed, improvedigestion,andpreventovereating.

4. Surround yourself with good friends. Surround yourself with people who inspire you with their enthusiasm, positive outlook on life, boundlessenergy,andtrustinyourcapabilities.

5. Getinshapethroughdaily,gentleexercise.FindactivitiesyouenHoy tomakeworkingoutmorefun.Morkoutwithabuddyforaccountability

and support. 'ry beginnerqfriendly activities like walking, yoga, cycling, swimming,orgroupexerciseslikea"uaaerobicsorpickleball.

6. Smile more and acknowledge people around you. Interact more withpeopleandsmileatstrangersWScienti-cresearchtellsusthatsmiling andcomplimentingotherscansigni-cantlyimproveourwellqbeing,and newstudiesshowthatpositivefacialexpressionscanhavebene-ciale:ects onmentalhealth.

7. Connect with nature. Connecting with nature can have many bene-tsforourmentalandphysicalhealth.

NaturecanhelpP

ReducestressPNaturecanhelpyoumanagestressandanxietyby loweringyourbloodpressureandcortisollevels.

Improve moodP Deing in nature can enhance your mood and promoteasenseofbelongingandwellqbeing.

Better focus and creativityPNaturalsettingscanhelpimprove yourfocusandcreativity.

ProvideacalmingenvironmentPNaturecansootheyourmind, loweryourheartrate,andregulateyourbreathing.

Reset your nervous systemP Immersing yourself in nature can provideamuchqneededbreakfromtheeverydayhustleandbustle.

Aerearesomewaystoconnectwithnature:

Watch the sunrise or sunsetP 'he change in light at twilight bringsabeautifularrayofcoloursacrossthesky.

GoforanaturewalkPSpendingtimeconnectingwithnaturecan havebigbene-tsforyourphysicalhealthandmentalwellqbeing.

GobirdwatchingPDirdwatchingcanbeagreatwaytoreconnect withnatureandrelax.

TaketimeoutinnaturePEvenafewminutesadaycanhelpyou tapintoasenseofpeace.

8. Givethankstoeverythingthatbrightensyourdayandmakesyou feelalive.GivingthanksandenHoyingwhatnatureprovidesP

Malkingbarefootonthegrass.

Malkingonthebeach.

'hesmelloffreshlycutgrass.

Yancingintherain.

Stompingonpuddles.

Layingbackandwatchingthetwinklingstarsatnight.

Takingsandcastles.

'reehuggingintheforest.

Naturehikes.

Listeningtobirdssinging.

Each time I get to connect with nature, I thank God for creating this beautiful world we live in! Most of the time, we take it for granted. I love hiking in the forest reserves in Singapore as well as around the reservoirs. 'hese are the places with the freshest air in our country. It is alsopeacefuland"uiet.ItreasurethesemomentsinnatureW

9. Liveinthemoment.Livinginthepresentmomentmeansnolonger worrying about what happened in the past and not fearing what will happeninthefuture.ItmeansenHoyingwhatBshappeningnowandliving fortoday.Choosingtoliveinthepastorthefuturenotonlyrobsyouof enHoymenttoday,butitalsorobsyouoftrulyliving.

One of the most signijcant benejts of living in the moment is the pureenFoymentofthenow.Lifeisaseriesofmoments,andwhenweare constantlyfocusedonwhat’snext,wemissoutonsomuch.Meoverlook theHoyinsmallthings,likethewarmthofthesunonourfaceorthetaste ofourmorningco:ee.

Dy practicing mindfulness and living in the present, we can fully experienceandappreciatethesemoments.Insteadofrushingthroughlife, wesavouritW

10. Nollow your passion. Following your passion means building your career plans on your interests and what you care about. → passion is an activityyouenHoyoravaluethatholdssigni-cantpersonalmeaning.

SomebenejtsoffollowingyourpassionincludeP

NuljllmentP !ursuing your passion can lead to a happier, more ful-llinglife.

Skill developmentP Rou can develop skills and talents you may nothaverealizedyouhad.

ConjdencePRoucanbuildyourcon-denceandselfqesteem.

ew opportunitiesP !ursuing your passion can lead to new opportunitiesandexperiences.

SomewaystofollowyourpassionincludeP

Settingasidetimeregularlytoengagewithyourpassion.

Connectingwithlikeqmindedindividuals.

Continuingtolearnandgrow.

Sharingyourpassionwithothers.

Deingpatientandkindtoyourself.

Roushouldletyourpassionsfuelyourdriveandletyourtalentsguideyour careerpath.

Lesson

IkigaiisaJapanesetermthatcombinesthewordsjiki,jmeaningjtolive,j andjgai,jmeaningjreason.jItBsaconceptthatencouragespeopleto-nd asenseofpurposeandful-llmentintheirlives.

Followingthese10rulesofikigaiwillhelpus-ndourreasonstoliveour livestothefullestW

Action

!racticingthe5!illars

!illar1PStartingsmall Focusonthedetails.

!illar2P eleasingyourself →cceptwhoyouare.

!illar3PAarmonyandsustainability elyonothers.

!illar4P'heHoyoflittlethings →ppreciatesensorypleasure.

!illar5PDeinginthehereandnow Findyour ow.

Lesson 27: When You Are Sad or Upset Always Remember

"Tearsarethesilentlanguageofgrief,buttheywatertheseeds ofstrengthandresilience."–Voltaire

It's normal to feel sad or upset from time to time, and there are many reasonswhyyoumightfeelthatway.Somereasonsinclude:

Relationshipissues.

Feelingaloneormissingsomeone.

Stressfromeverydaylife.

Experiencing chemical changes in your body from puberty, menopause,andropause,ortakingcertainmedications.

Developinganunhelpfulthinkingstyle,suchashavingnegative thoughtsorbeingself-critical.

Story

Painispartofgrowing.Paincanforceustotakeactionandchangeinsome way.Itcanalsohelpusidentifywhensomethingisn'trightandrearrange ourpriorities.

Growthequalschange:Growthinvolveschange,andchangecan leadtolossandpain.

Paincanhelpusblossom:Walkingthroughpainanddiscomfort canhelpusstepoutoftheshadowsandintoaspacewherewecan thrive.

Growth can be intentional or unintentional: We can grow

by making changes to our habits and lifestyle or by overcoming eventsthatarebeyondourcontrol.

The pain of losing my marriage helped me focus on Lnding out why it failed. ’earning to understand myself and the other party–s character and idiosyncrasies through Psycho™Geometrics! was the keyO jnce I understoodtherootcause,IwasabletoLndclosure,moveon,andgrowO

Everythinginlifeistemporary.Ifthingsaregoingwell,makesureyouenAoy andembracethemfully.—ndifthingsaregoingpoorly,rememberthatit willnotlastforever"betterdaysareontheway.

"Youcan'tcalmthestorm,sostoptrying.Whatyoucandoiscalmyourself. Thestormwillpass.;

Worrying and complaining change nothing. Those who complain the mostaccomplishtheleast.Itisalwaysbettertoattempttodosomething greatandfailthantoattempttodonothingandsucceed.

It–s not over if you–ve lost8 it–s over when you do nothing but complainaboutit.

Ifyoubelieveinsomething,keeptrying.Don–tlettheshadowsof thepastdarkenthedoorstepofyourfuture.

Spending today complaining about yesterday won–t make tomorrowanybrighter.

Takeactioninstead.’etwhatyou–velearntimprovehowyoulive.

16M

Nakeachangeandneverlookback.

"Regardlessofwhathappensinthelongrun,rememberthattruehappiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your problems and startbeinggratefulforalltheproblemsyoudon’thave.;™YitishSingh

zour scars are symbols of your strength. zou should wear your scars proudlyassymbolsofyourstrengthandcourage.

Strength:Scarscanbeareminderofwhatyou'veenduredandthe battlesyou'vewon.

Resilience:Scarscanbeatestamenttoyourabilitytobounceback.

Growth:Scarscansymboli9etheAourneyofgrowthyou'vebeen on.

SigniLcance: Scars can be a reminder that you've been preserved forapurpose.

Gratitude:Scarscanbeareminderofthegratitudeyouhavefor yourhealth. Everylittlestruggleisastepforward.Strugglescanmakeusfeelstronger, andeveryactofcourageleadstomorecourage.

Struggles can make us stronger in both physical and psychological ways. For example, struggling against heavy weights in the gym can make muscles grow bigger, and hiking up a steep mountain can help us build

cardiovascular Ltness as well as the belief that we can conHuer other mountains.

jther people–s negativity is not your problem. Yegativity is often a re0ectionofsomeone'sownstrugglesandnotaAudgmentonyou.

2erearesometipsfordealingwithotherpeople'snegativity:

Keep your power: Don't let negative people dictate your emotions.zouareresponsibleforyourownmoodandoutlook.

Counterattackwithpositivity:Respondpositivelytonegative comments. For example, if a co-worker says something negative aboutyourshoes,youcouldrespondbysayingsomethingpositive abouttheirdress.

Distanceyourself:Ifyouhavetodealwithanegativeperson,try todistanceyourselfemotionallywhileremainingcordial.

Spendtimewithpositivepeople:Spendmoretimewithpeople whoupliftyou.

Practicemindfulness:Tryactivitiesthathelpyoustaygrounded, likeexercisingorpracticingmindfulness.

Remember,it'snotaboutyou:Yegativepeoplearenegative,and they–relikethatwitheveryone.

Recognize when to walk away: It's important to know when

towalkawayfromanegativepersontopreserveyourmentaland emotionalhealth.

What–s meant to be will eventually be. This is a belief that events or outcomes in life are predetermined or fated and will ultimately happen regardless of one–s e4orts or actions. Sometimes we wish for something sobadly,andyetitdoesn'thappenforvariousreasons.Wemusttrustthe timingoflifeandwhatitsendsourway.

Thebestthingyoucandoistokeepgoing.

16WaystoKeepGoing:

1.Nakealistofgoals.

5.Workouteveryday.

“.Nakeascheduleandsticktoit.

”.Trackyourprogress.

C.Findyour whys.

6.Findsomementors.

7.Stopcomparingyourselfwithotherpeople.

M.Takecareofyourselfandthinkpositively.

q.Practicegratitude.

13.Embracechallenges.

11.Rewardyourself.

15.Stay0exible.

1“.Practicevisuali9ation.

1”.Staycurious.

1C.Eliminatedistractions.

16.’earncontinuously.

Lesson

Whenyouaresadorupset:

Describeyourfeelings:Yamehowyoufeelandwhy.zoucantell yourselforsomeoneelse.

—ccept your feelings: It's okay to feel sad or disappointed when thingsdon'tgoasplanned.

Findwaystocope:

Takeafewcalmbreaths.

Thinkaboutgoodthings.

Getactiveormakesomething.

’istentomusic,goforawalk,orreadabook.

allafriend.

Talk,cry,ordraw.

Getsupport:’etsomeoneelseknowhowyoufeel.

Remindyourselfthatyoucancope:zoucanadAusttothingsthat youcan'tchange.

Nakeaplan:Ifthere'ssomethingyoucandoaboutthecauseof yoursadness,makealistandtackleoneproblematatime.

Action

2erearesomethingsyoucandoifyou'refeelingsadorupset:

Acknowledgeyourfeelings:It'sokaytonotfeelokay,andyou're notalone.

Takecareofyourself:Eatwell,exercise,andgetenoughrest.

Bemindful:Focusonthepresentmomentwhileengaginginan activityyouenAoy.

Connect with others: Reach out to friends, family, neighbors, 17“

orco-workers.

Seekhelp:Ifyoursadnessdoesn'tgoawayorifit'sa4ectingyour dailyactivities,considertalkingtoahealthcareprovider.

Ifyouthinkyouoralovedonemighthavedepression,consultadoctoror mentalhealthprofessional.Theycandiagnoseyourconditionandsuggest treatmentstoimproveyoursymptoms.

Lesson 28: The Law of Arcati on

“Imagination is everything; it is the preview of life's coming attractions.”—AlbertEinstein

The law of attraction is a philosophy that states positive thoughts and actions lead to positive outcomes, while negative thoughts and actionsleadtonegativeoutcomes.Itisbasedontheideathat"likeattracts like"andthatourthoughtsandemotionshaveapowerfulimpactonour reality.

Itisthebelief that a person's thoughts have a magnetic power that determines the order of the universe and what they experience in life.Inessence,whatapersonthinksaboutbringsabout.

There is no scienti,c evidence to support the law of attractionH and it is often considered pseudoscience or religion. YoweverH some researchers suggestthatpositivethoughtscanleadtopositiveactions.

Fou can manifest your desires by focusing on them and believing they willhappen.xoreLampleHyoucancreateavibrationalpullthatattractsa personorthingtowardyoubyfocusingonit.

Origin

The (aw of Attraction O()AB has origins in ancient religions and philosophiesH with similar concepts found in YinduH JuddhistH CewishH and6hristianwritings.

Story

Ibelievethatthisphilosophyworks“Ihavenotcountedhowmanytimes it has worked for meH but it has been on many occasions. I have a few scrapbooksinwhichIcollectmySJest”peaker3ribbonsfrommy4jyears as a Toastmaster. I ,ll in the details to remind myself of each Swinning occasion.3

EachtimeIdeliveraspeechoraspeechevaluationHIeLpectthemaWorityof theaudiencememberstovoteformeastheJest”peakerorJestEvaluator. I convince myself that I deserve to win the ribbon because I have put in thehardestworkandmostdiligentpreparation.AndwhenIeLpectitto

happenHthewholeuniverseconspirestomakeithappenforme“MinningH formeHthenbecomesapatternHahabitHandawayoflife“

Lesson

’yfriendsHyoutoocanmakewinningyourpatternHyourhabitHyourway oflife“FesHyoucanattractsuccess“It–sthe(awofAttraction8itworks“

Action

xocusonthepositive.Thelawofattractionisbasedontheidea thatwhateveryoufocusonHwhetheritPspositiveornegativeHwill beattractedintoyourlife.

Jegrateful.Rracticinggratitudeforwhatyouhavecanhelpshift yourmindsetfromscarcitytoabundance.

6reate your own reality. The main theory behind the law of attraction is that you create your own reality through your thoughtsanddesires.

”end out positive energy. Mhen you feel eLcitedH enthusiasticH passionateH happyH WoyfulH appreciativeH or abundantH you are sendingoutpositiveenergytotheuniverse.

zeali0eyouhavethepowertochangeyourreality.Foucanchange your reality by reorienting your thoughtsH mindsetH and feelings andfocusingonthethingsyouwant.

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.38 zalphMaldoEmerson

ORleasealsoreferto(esson498MeJecomeMhatMeThinkAboutB

Lesson 29: 9 Habits That WiE raYn uoR pesce t

"Respect is earned. Honesty is appreciated. Trust is gained. Loyaltyisreturned."–Unknown

Habit 1: Speak with condlence anl crayit– s urow lown –ogy upeakin.pace2

HabitW:3henliucguuin.charren.in.topicusupeakthetygth2

HabitF:jocguonthepyoceuusnotmguttheogtco4e2

HabitD:’on5tyeacttocyiticiu4suta–co4pouel2

HabitT:6akegpupacespyomectcondlence2

Habit7:Show.engineinteyeutsbepyeuent2

HabitL:Bi.htengpsenmo–the4o4ent2

Habit8:9eagthenticslon5tmguta.yee2

Habit,:Biutenswithogtinteyygptin.2

Story

Habit 1: Speak with Condcenle anc C–arity D S–ow Yown uogr

SpeakinP.ale23henweupeakOitiubetteytoleribeyater–urowlownogy upeakin. yate uo that we can take the ti4e to pyonognce anl engnciate ogy woylu creayr–2 vgy liction wirr ine!itabr– i4pyo!e tooA fruoO ix we upeakuroweyOwetenlto4akexewey4iutakeu26hebeutwa–tobgirlogy condlenceiuthyog.hconutanteIpougyetoupeakin.anlpyactiueOpyactiueO pyactiueA

Habit W: shen YiTlgTTinP Cha––enPinP mopilT D Speak the mrgth2 qnxactOqal!ocateupeakin.thetygthata––ti3eT26heyeiunoneeltorie2 qxuo4ethin.iutoopeyuonartouhayeOwecanarwa–uchoouetokeep'giet abogtit26heyeiuabi.liYeyencebetweenkeepin.auecyetanlterrin.arie2

HabitF:NolgTonthe.roleTTDJotOgTtthe'gtlo3e26hiupyincipre 4eanuxocguin.ontheutepu–ogtaketoachie!ea.oaryatheythanthe.oar ituerx2Heyeayeuo4eyeauonuwh–xocguin.onthepyoceuuiui4poytant: uogvre in lontro–: 3hen –og xocgu on the pyoceuuO –ogPye in chay.e ox what –og can contyorO rike –ogy eYoytO actionuO anl reaynin.2

uog lan le–ebrate efort anc Prowth: -og can cerebyate –ogy eYoytOconuiutenc–Oanlthe.yowth–og4akeOyatheythanmgutthe ogtco4e2

uog lan Ttay 3oti4atec:zyoceuu.oaruherp–oguta–4oti!atel anlco44ittel2joyeIa4preOix–ogwanttoi4pyo!e–ogypgbric upeakin. ukirruO –og can uet a pyoceuu .oar to pyactiue a ceytain a4ogntoxti4eeachweekanluee–ogyuerxi4pyo!e2

uog lan be open to ’ai–gre: 6eutin. ogt ileau to i4pyo!e –ogy pyoceuu 4a– real to xairgyeO bgt it iu an i4poytant payt ox i4pyo!e4ent2

HabitR:YonAtqealttoCritiliT3DStayCo3poTec2zeopre4a–yeact balr–tocyiticiu4xoyyeauonuugchautheiyutateox4inlOtheiyyerationuhip withthepeyuon.i!in.thexeelbackOoytheiye4otionarinterri.ence29ein.

torl –ogP!e 4ale a 4iutake can 4ake –og xeer inale'gate oy incapabre2 Heyeayeuo4etipuxoyyeuponlin.tocyiticiu4car4r–anlco4pouelr–:

B4oic realtinP i3pg–Ti4e–y: ’onPt .et lexenui!e oy o!eyGaporo.iRe2

BTk l–ari’yinP 5geTtionT: Eain a bettey gnleyutanlin. ox the cyiticiu4bexoyeyeuponlin.2

Blknow–ecPe their point: Ceuponl yationarr– anl car4r–withogtbein.lexenui!e2

.ro4ice yogr reaToninP: —Iprain –ogy peyupecti!e wheye appyopyiate2

Ue open to lhanPe: onuiley how –og can alapt oy i4pyo!e bauelonthexeelback2

ShowPratitgce:—Ipyeuuappyeciationwithogtbein.eIceuui!e2 qe5geTtTo–gtionT:fukxoyug..eutionutoallyeuutheiuuge2

No––owgp:Ce!iuitthecon!eyuationixneceuuay–2

Habit j: make 6p Spale D .roGelt Condcenle2 zeopre oxten pyomect theiy xeayu onto –ogO pracin. ri4itationu on what the– think –og can lo2 3hen –og take gp upaceO –og arrow –ogyuerx to be !ocarO !iuibreO anl condlentinutealoxuh–in.awa–xyo4–ogypowey2

Habit I: Show -engine 7ntereTt D Ue .reTent2 Showin. inteyeut herpu–oggnleyutanlanle4pathiRewiththeupeakeyOrealin.toutyon.ey connectionuanli4pyo!elyerationuhipu2

Blti4e–iTteninP:jocguontheupeakeyO4aintaine–econtactOanl a!oilliutyactionu2

BTk5geTtionT:UueopenGenlel'geutionutoencogya.eliaro.ge anluhowen.a.e4ent2

.ro4ice ’eecbalk: Sg44ayiRe oy payaphyaue what the upeakey ua–utouhowattenti!eneuu2

Ue nonL4erba–: Uue xaciar eIpyeuuionu anl .eutgyeu to con!e–inteyeut2

B4oic interrgptinP: jocgu entiyer– on the upeakey withogt pyepayin.–ogyyeuponue4ilGcon!eyuation2

Habit E: MiPhten 6p D xnGoy the ,o3ent26err–ogyuerxtori!einthe 4o4entanlenmo–whatco4eu–ogywa–26akin.–ogyuerxreuuueyiogur–can realto4oyemo–2

Ueopentonewe8perienleT:Beaynin.oppoytgnitieucanbyin. xgrdrr4entanlmo–2

Ua–anlework9–eiTgre9ancre–ationThipT:zyioyitiRepeopreanl acti!itieuthat4atteyto–og2

MagPh 3ore: Bag.htey yelgceu utyeuuO booutu 4oolO anl i4pyo!euo!eyarrwerrGbein.2

S3i–e 3ore:S4irin.yereaueuenloyphinuanl4akeu–ogappeay appyoachabre2

Habit : Ue Bgthentil D YonAt OgTt BPree2 9ein. agthentic 4eanu uta–in.tygeto–ogyuerxanl–ogy!argeuOe!engnleypyeuugyetoconxoy42 6ipuxoybein.agthentic:

9ehoneutbgttactxgr2

fctwithcondlenceanlhg4irit–2

Bealwithe4path–anlappyeciation2

Ceco.niRe–ogytarentuanltheutyen.thuoxotheyu2

9eacceptin.ox–ogyuerxanlotheyu2

Habit :MiTtenDsithogt7nterrgptinP2qnteyygptin.iunotonr–ygle bgtaruocon!e–uliuinteyeutintheupeakey2

9eattenti!e:Ei!e–ogyxgrrattentiontotheupeakey2

3aittoyeuponl:frrowtheupeakeytodniuhbexoyeupeakin.2

fukyere!ant'geutionu:’e4onutyateacti!eriutenin.2

9eopenG4inlel:f!oilmgl.in.theupeakeypye4atgyer–2

—4pathiRe:zgt–ogyuerxintheiyuhoeu2

MeTTon

Bet5u4akeitahabittoliupra–hg4irit–2fl4itwhen–ogPyewyon.Oauk xoy herp when –og neel itO anl arwa–u be open to reaynin. xyo4 otheyu2

6hiuhabitnotonr–4akeu–og4oyeappyoachabrebgtaruoeaynu–ogthe yeupectoxthoueayognl–og2

Bltion

Bet5uinteynariRetheueninehabitutoeayntheyeupectoxotheyu2

“Ispeaktoeveryoneinthesameway,whetherheisthegarbagemanorthe presidentoftheuniversity.” frbeyt—inutein

Lesson 30: We Become What We Think About

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve.”—NapoleonHill

This is my secret to success! When I qrst came across this buotation ,y NapoleonHilldIha..ou,tswHovegerdI.eci.e.topracticeitanyvaywI qSure.therevasnoharmintryinS—Iha.nothinStolosewfoondI,eSan toachiegepositigeresults—an.Ineverstopped!

Ikvecancontrolourmin.dvecan.ictatethecourseokourligeswWecan either,ehel.captige,yourthouShtsorsetkree,ythemwWhichegerve choosevillultimately.eterminethebualityokourligesw

Story

I starte. my traininS an. spea9inS career in 166Aw :t the same timed I create. my taSline“ ”Speaking is my passion. Selling and training is mylife,andsharingismyfortew2ThistaSlinenotonlyhelpsremin.me okvhoIaman.vhatI.od,utalsohelpsmetosellmyselk,ysuccinctly inkorminS others a,out my prokessionw It opens .oors kor mew When I intro.uce myselk vith itd I usually Set the responsed ”Tell me more.2 It spar9scongersationsthatlea.tonev,usinessopportunitiesw Ilogespea9inS!ThestaSeismysecon.homewIconstantlyremin.myselk thatIamalvayssellinSmyselkdcontinuinStotraintoma9ealiginSdan. mostimportantlydhoninSmys9illsinsharinS—vithhumilitydconq.enced an. competencew I hage ,een liginS this like kor the past …8 years an. countinSzIlogeegerystepokthisamajinS"ourney!Yes—I am what I thinkabout!

Lesson

The i.ea that xve ,ecome vhat ve thin9 a,outx is a principle that emphasijesthepoverokthouShttoshapeourrealitywItsuSSeststhatour thouShts are not "ust PeetinS imaSes ,ut rather poverkul korces that can inPuenceoureOperiencesdligesdan.kuturew

Here are some lessons krom the i.ea that xve ,ecome vhat ve thin9 a,outx“

Thoughts are powerful. Rositige thouShts can lea. to positige outcomesdvhileneSatigethouShtscancreate,arriersw

Thoughts can change realityw 'ur thouShts are the ,lueprint korourrealitydan.chanSinSourthin9inScanchanSeourligesw

Thoughts can alter brain structurew Uepetitige thin9inS can alterthe,rain-sstructurethrouShneuroplasticityw

Mind-body connectionw En.erstan.inS the min.G,o.y connectioncanhelptranslatethouShtsintoa.esire.realityw

Growth mindset. Bm,racinS a Srovth min.set can help turn thouShtsintotanSi,leachiegementsw

TochanSeourthin9inSdvecan“

Rayattentiontoourinner.ialoSuew

RracticeshiktinSneSatigethouShtsintopositigeonesw

ftartsmalldasegerypositigethouSht,uil.smomentumw

VautamaLu..haisalsocre.ite.vithsayinSdxWearewhatwethink.x

Action

(isualiseGfeeyourselkaseOactlyvhatyouvantto,edan.vrite it.ovnasgigi.lyaspossi,lew

Uea. it alou. many times egery .ayw Uea. it until you start to ,eliegeit!

Uemem,er“ourthouShtscontrolouractionsw

'urkeelinSsinPuenceouractionsw

ThouShtsd keelinSsd actionsd an. results are all connecte. in a cyclew The enerSyveemitthrouShourthouShtscanattractsimilareOperiencesinto ourligeswThisis9novnasthe–avok:ttractionw

)Rleaserekerto–esson…80The–avok:ttraction

About the Author

SpeakingishisPASSION,

SellingandTrainingishisLIFE,and

SharingishisFORTE.

JohnSihisatrainedpublicspeakerandeducatorinpublicspeakingand interpersonal communication skills. He holds an Honours CertiPcate in fublic Speaking Lrom the Mondon College oL (usic )MC(T and a yeaching and ferLormance CertiPcate Lrom yrinit1 College. He is also a

certiPed(asteryrainerand,acilitatorvhaAinglearnedLrombothlocaland internationalmastertrainers.

ws a sales proLessionalv John Das a (illion Iollar Club (ember and achieAed the Qnternational Eualit1 wDard Lor x-cellence )QEwT during his eightq1ear tenure in the liLe insurance industr1. He deAeloped the techni“ue knoDn as 5yhe ”q(inute Closev6 Dhich he has taught to thousandsoLsalesproLessionalsandnonqsalesproLessionalsalike.

Qn 9FFOv John became the Cxz oL wccent yraining Consultants. He specialiYes in helping indiAiduals become eGectiAe interpersonal communicators and public speakers. wdditionall1v he trains sales proLessionals in the wrt oL Selling and e“uips Lrontqline o™cers Dith CustomerSerAiceSkills.wsacertiPedMaughterQnstructorvJohnteaches MaughterUogatechni“uesandisLondl1knoDnas5yheMaughterKuruoL Singapore.6

Johnisalsoabod1languagee-pertandisoLtencomparedtohismentorv wllanfeasevearningthetitle5thewllanfeaseoLSingapore.6Hehasbeen Leaturedin,emalemagaYinevDherehediscussedthesigniPcanceoLbod1 languageasaLormoLnonqAerbalcommunication.

ws a fs1choqKeometrics2 practitionerv John imparts practical insights intothefs1choqKeometrics2S1stem.HeisthePrsttraineroutsidethe 0nitedStatesvCanadavandthe0nited7ingdomtobelicensedtoteach thiss1stemvandheisnoDthe(aster,ranchiseeLorSoutheastwsiavhaAing masteredandinternaliYeditsusesince9FF9.

yotheclientshecoachesvJohnisknoDnas5yheQnspirator.6HemotiAates them to reach their ma-imum potentialv talentsv and skills b1 serAing as a 5mirror6 Lor selLqre@ection. yo enhance his training eGectiAenessv John obtainedaIiplomainCounselingfs1cholog1inwugustj33 . ,orin“uiriesvcontactJohnat s1sih gmail.com.

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